I’m a xes worker and I agree. A lot of these “coaches” are rebranded xes workers giving young women tips on how to find a “rich man” yet these tips are exactly how you find a CLIENT. Naive women are going to upscale bars looking for rich men not knowing that’s a form of freestyling.
This is so enlightening. I truly don’t think a lot of women understand the perception it gives off. The way I see it, if you’re only here to get money then you must be at work!
My issue is that people keep saying “this is the way the world is now” and fall in line with the loveless society instead of continuing to be the change we need when it comes to relationships
Should be pinned, literally thank you?! People are acting like dumbass sheep and just following what others are doing even if it's wrong, rather than holding a strong moral stance and being the change that they want so badly. 🤡 What more can be said, honestly?
Exactly. I literally had a conversation with my brother the other day- he made a statement saying that he might just become like every other womanizer man that’s out here, I told him no?? That’s stupid. You need to stand on business.
Yeah well everyone else can accept it and give up but i will never lose hope that real love exists and we are all capable of finding it. I already feel like i have and im 28.🤷🏽♀️ all these therapy positive views and no one can dig themselves out of their own hell that they built in their heads? What are therapists even telling these people? Couldn't be me.
My dad constantly tells me: If you threw away everything to have just one thing, you'll never be content with anything. Happiness is being content with the blessings of today. You never had them yesterday. Never sell your soul for what your soul can already do for you.
Should address hook up culture also. Like there isnt any real dates anymore. The guys who are dating are acting like the date is a formality before they get to take us home. The whole time im trying to get to know him to decide if i like him and he's just tapping his foot because he thinks any dating app swipe equates to sex, just sex. They act like its a transaction. I'd rather take money than a meal/drinks/movie if you're going to be that way, transactional. They dont even wanna buy dinner anymore!
It's another side of the issue is that people aren't doing the due diligence to try to date people that they actually like. I personally know a couple of people who go on all kinds of dates and get into extended hookups with ppl they don't even like as a person.
Yes !! Getting with people just off of physical attraction and then on top of that it’s like guys don’t have ANY energy or desire. It’s like they just want a girl to exist around them or be around when they get horny
I hate those men who think they are entitled they deserve sex on first day cause he pay for dinner, seriously what's wrong with them they think women body is one dinner meal price
As an autistic girlie, it sounds so exhausting having to mask and date for material things and transactional way. I love being transparent and acknowledge that I need love and others.
Same!! Not autistic but another neurodivergent here. I need to have an emotional connection and I need love. Transactional love sounds nice but it’s not for me, I need intimacy. I really don’t like having to mask who I am and how I feel. It truly is exhausting…
@@Hannibhaal777let’s be honest tho, these girls are freshly out of HIGHSCHOOL or just entering college looking to live a lifestyle influenced on social media, no other 18-21 year old male can offer that these older males are divorced , lonely, receiving retirement checks and can offer them that. it’s disgusting all around but c’mon these old men can turn these girls down and turn it into a learning opportunity! isn’t that what adults are supposed to do??? not take advantage.
When I was 18-19 I almost fell for this. I created a profile for seeking arrangement and almost went to a date with an older man. I was in a difficult situation financially. What stopped me was when I asked myself if I would’ve been proud of what I was going to do 3 years from now. I was Disgusted and stopped it all together. I am so thankful I didn’t do it.
It depends on how you do it. I would tell them it’s $300 to meet, that way I didn’t waste my time. I would only meet them at a nice restaurant and majority of the time I never responded again, only 2 ppl I actually continued to date. One was for 2 years…he lived overseas, but would come every month for 10 days to visit me and took very very very good care of me. Now, the ones that do this to have s3x on the first date is another story
Same with me, but honestly, it was a guy who helped me realize that this wasn't worth it and that I could lose my life. After that conversation, I never went back to my 2nd date.
It’s well known that Sheera’s husband was already married when he met her. One thing she will never share with her followers is how many times he’s caught her doing the exact same thing he did to his last wife to her. She’ll never share all she has to sacrifice to stay with this man.
I was shocked to learn about that. People are taking the advice she gives way too seriously and looking at her and James’s relationship it comes off as super toxic especially the way they interact with each other.
@@talialovesI mean she said she doesn't care and is was not here for love. She stated several times that if you are looking for love, you not take her advice. She is very upfront about it.
Plus if you listen to her talk about James she's like 'no we don't kiss. We don't touch. Why would we?' When I heard that I was like....damn she's the last person to be giving ANYONE relationship advice. Maybe financial advice, business advice, but not relationship advice. People shouldn't be taking what she's saying as the formula for love, it's not, it's the formulae for money and sacrifice. 😂
I watch this tictok where the lady said something along the lines that women who are truly happy in their relationship are never the one's giving dating advice. And when you really look at it most of these dating "coaches" aren't even in a loving and/or caring relationship themselves...
Sex work is not the reason we live in a loveless society. Sex work is a symptom, not a root cause. Real root cause is people being forced to only use the left side of the brain due to industrialization and technology making society extremely masculine - aka focused on efficiency and profit (masculine left brain values) instead of human connection and empathy (feminine right brain values). But it’s certainly easy to just blame women for anyone whose IQ is so low they can’t do critical thinking and comprehend what is actually happening in the collective consciousness of society.
It’s funny that some women don’t realize,if you genuinely love a man and he loves you it motivates him to make more money too , it doesn’t have to be transactional, it doesn’t matter his salary if he loves you he will make whatever you want happen ,the secret is it has to be genuine love from both people and anything will work out 😮
It's so true. People forget that in relationships: You're supposed to feel GOOD. You're supposed to feel love for eachother. You shouldn't feel like you have to scam money out of them, or lie, or scheme to get them to stick around. If a dude loves you and if you love him, you don't need to do any of this stuff, ever. Cause you'll both inherently want to meet eachothers needs. Whether it's financial, emotional, physical or spiritual yknow? Some couples aren't as focused on money, maybe they feel super rich when they live a quiet life w their partner and dogs. Others are more money focused, so providing or material things are more important to them. But it should never be this 'lets manipulate this person into giving me what I want 👿'
Yes, when i met my man we made the same amount of money at $24/hr (we live in California so that isnt much). He’s a single father so he was motivated to make more but i feel like having me in his life made the motivation much more strong. His next job he got a salary and then he was able to get promoted/raise in less than a year. He’s up for another one and we’ve been together just 2 years. When i met him i questioned if he could provide the life I wanted and now, he’s putting up money to help me thru graduate school. My grandma to pray and have faith that God would send me a man who could provide. I’m not religious but having my Chrisitian grandma, she gave me and him a lot of encouraging advice and to trust in God and each other. You just need to make an investment in each other to help each other move up in the world.
That’s cute but in my experience, when you love them genuinely they get complacent and work hard anymore. We need to stop selling women this dream that love with make him do xyz. That’s not usually the case.
Amen!!! There are WAYYYY too many ppl dishing out advice.... Especially considering that 99% of these ppl aren't in loving relationships themselves. So sad.
Sex work is not the reason we live in a loveless society. Sex work is a symptom, not a root cause. Real root cause is people being forced to only use the left side of the brain due to industrialization and technology making society extremely masculine - aka focused on efficiency and profit (masculine left brain values) instead of human connection and empathy (feminine right brain values). But it’s certainly easy to just blame women for anyone whose IQ is so low they can’t do critical thinking and comprehend what is actually happening in the collective consciousness of society.
PLEASE TALK ABOUT HOOKUP CULTURE!!! No one talks about it anymore. It pisses me off how many guys I've interacted with have participated in the though process of first date = sex. situationships and infidelity is so common nowadays. All the drama is insufferable It's like no one cares about genuine relationships anymore
Exactly because it was the hookup culture that really bred this transactional culture we see now. Women realized we were being used for the price of a meal which is why the idea of SW isn’t so bad to a lot of girls
Hookup culture been around since the beginning of time. I am in my 40’s and trust me, men were not marrying like that, they were having secs with anything walking, didn’t matter how the female looked. In my early 20’s, I had a dude tell me due to how I carry myself, I will always be a main chick but they prefer something on the side. Men do not like the pretty girl that carry themselves well until they’re older and the girls that love hookups, situationships doesn’t want them anymore.
"I rely on my inner peace to get through anything" not to sound melodramatic but I struggle with mental health issues and I actually needed that. I'm emotional. Thank you Toni. With my inner peace nothing else can touch me. I forget that often. Again, I didnt know how much I needed that and thank you. Xoxoxo from Maine!
I spent my teenage years on tumblr, an extremely liberal and sex positive platform at the time. As soon as I turned 18 I became a sugar baby and cam girl. I already had daddy issues and previous trauma as well as autism, and the internet painted sex work not only as empowering, but that age gap relationships were also more loving and mature. I’m 22 now and have been severely traumatised from the middle aged men I met when I was a naive 18-19 year old. I wish leftist spaces were more aware that that anti-sex work ≠ anti-sex workER. I wish they actually listened more to some criticism of sex work as a whole, instead of shunning it altogether.. If I had known of the realistic risks from of sex work from the beginning, I wouldn’t have had this romanticised and idealised version of it in my head, and I wouldn’t have put myself in danger.
i was on tumblr during this time too and never was influenced to do sex work sorry you went through that and didn’t have someone to guide you not to make that decision being mentally vulnerable but you’re 22 and still young and have enough time to get help and live the way you want i hope it happens and i hope you’re well
Just because a man likes your beauty or your looks, doesn't necessarily mean that he is in need to create a relationship with you. He can do that with anyone he finds attractive.
THis is why it's important to vet for a man who values not just your looks, but your personality, character and morals as well. We live in such a superficial society that now it has come to this and yet people seldom speak about the horrors of the Sugar baby lifestyle. It's not natural it's not how God intended men and women to interact
Sex work is not the reason we live in a loveless society. Sex work is a symptom, not a root cause. Real root cause is people being forced to only use the left side of the brain due to industrialization and technology making society extremely masculine - aka focused on efficiency and profit (masculine left brain values) instead of human connection and empathy (feminine right brain values). But it’s certainly easy to just blame women for anyone whose IQ is so low they can’t do critical thinking and comprehend what is actually happening in the collective consciousness of society.
I definitely have a lil different outlook on the sprinkle sprinkle lady. I didn’t know her relationship was like that 🥴She’s really just like the rest of these women that settle. But she settled with someone that so happens to have money. Love is not the end goal of her advice, she wants you to find someone rich & that’s it🤷🏽♀️lol you gotta go through the cheating crap, lying etc, that’s just too much stress for me. I rather stay single for the rest of my life than to do that. Some of her advice do be on point tho.
I agree! I want to have my cake and eat it too, if I can’t have that I’d rather stay single forever. Her advice is at the end of the day money always softens the blow, but in reality she’s convincing herself and other women to settle.
As much as I like some of her advice about respecting yourself and having dignity, I realise all these games to get a rich man and all that mental gymnastics ain't for me so imma stay single
@@talialovesno the reality is that ALL men cheat. She's just saying don't end up splitting bills and not being taken care of by someone whose going to do whay theyre going to do anyway..
I feel Ike y’all still got it wrong, and I genuinely don’t mean any disrespect when saying this. The options aren’t: “follow miss sprinkle sprinkle’s tricks and schemes or stay single forever.” You can find love without it being an extremely rich man. You have to be patient and you have to be willing to give love too. It may take a while, maybe a few trials but it’s still possible and worth seeking, isn’t it? (Also sorry if I misinterpreted your comment)
I sincerely and prayerfully hope and envision that voices like yours, discussions as such, and many people courageous to speak on these are pushed out in the mass algorithm, we definitely need to keep speaking about these dark realities, that can and DOES happen and DEVOUR us starting at our minds. God bless you! I’ve come across your channel recently and I couldn’t have thanked God enough for bringing me to a creator like yourself! It’s rare these days, I continue to pray His favor, protection, wisdom, guidance, strength, blessings, and all that your heart desires as you pursue Christ upon you.
I think we forget that our digit footprint is very real and heavily monitored. Especially with us going into a completely digital society I think those that chose to engage in certain behaviors online will come back to bite later on.
Anyone can give advice on the internet nowadays apparently. I dont think she lies about everything but she definitely embellishes stuff so she can always look good and unbothered. She has created an image for herself on social media and you bet she is going to do everything in her power to uphold that image.
Well, its not essentially bad bc sex is literally a human physical need. And just like any other physical needs people will rely on financial transactions to get them met, and the money exchange on that will allow the other party to get their needs met and so forth. It has literally existed since the dawn of time, before there was even a concept of right and wrong, good or bad. Its the morality and the hypocrisy attached to something widely condemned and at the same time highly seeked out that is BAD.
@@lalailmit is not a physical need it is a physical want. you cannot survive without food or water, people can and do survive years without sex. A lot of people actually prefer to live celibate as-well. Moving on from this fact, sex work in itself is bad and should be considered as a means to an end, not a side-hustle promoted to thousands of vulnerable young girls and women. Most, if not all sex workers admit they hate the work in itself and only do it because they want and enjoy purely the money. Misogyny has existed since the dawn of time, and so will sex work that heavily contributes to it.
This was an awesome video idea. I’m not even Christian or a prude like that, but I think there is something debasing and disheartening about glorifying transactional relationships and it makes all relationships shallow. I’m sad I was in that world
I'm not religious at all and I agree. Whatever happened to just wanting to date someone because you genuinely wanted to get to know them? And then you just spend time getting to know each other and enjoying each others company. I'm even happier now that I have chosen to stay single cause the headache ain't worth it.
@@taryndancer29I think this has nothing to do with religion, I’m an atheist and we shouldn’t remove the human and emotional aspect of us and follow materialism, it’s just a capitalist loophole, that’s not even related to religion but rather to the health of society and mental state of women and our value in it.
Sex work is not the reason we live in a loveless society. Sex work is a symptom, not a root cause. Real root cause is people being forced to only use the left side of the brain due to industrialization and technology making society extremely masculine - aka focused on efficiency and profit (masculine left brain values) instead of human connection and empathy (feminine right brain values). But it’s certainly easy to just blame women for anyone whose IQ is so low they can’t do critical thinking and comprehend what is actually happening in the collective consciousness of society.
Once you have a man that WANTS to give you the world and willing to put the work in. It’s better than any other relationship. You can ask and know there isn’t strings attached.
playing devils advocate here a little bit while i agree with the surface level of what you’re saying the root of it is soooo much deeper. love didn’t just start becoming transactional in our generation when the city girls starting singing about it. A lot of our grandparents of all backgrounds were in transactional relationships/ marriages (most times underaged) because of the patriarchy as means of survival. The way women rap about it now i feel like is a way of women taking their power back in a sense. A lot of men have been viewing relationships as transactional for generations the only difference now is that women have found a way to make that transaction beneficial to them too. The only way we stop it is to dismantle the patriarchy and its ideals entirely not just parts of it
@@Penterror marriage rates are going down because ultimately men don’t know how to treat women and it’s been that way for generations. women just aren’t still willing to stay in transactional relationships while getting treated like dirt by men just to say they got a roof over their heads
Yeah I really can’t get into this new wave of transaction centered relationships. And no I’m not saying women should be with men who have nothing, this is where nuance comes in. I know myself- I will always want more from my partner than just a check lol.
I think Brittany Renner is a great example of the utter mental destruction that lifestyle brings. she’s in her mid 30s and wants to finally settle down and be a wife but because of her past being plastered all over the internet and getting around the industry, no one respects her or takes her seriously at all. i do feel for her but at the same time, she made her own bed and now she has to lie in it for the rest of her life unfortunately. you can see how unhappy and restless she is as she tries desperately to no avail to rebrand herself. it destroys the soul nearly irreparably. i pray one day she is able to find some inner peace.
I love that you give us a Bible verse for the day. I grew up Christian, went away from the church, and now I find myself seeking comfort in the Bible again. Even if I'm not necessarily a Christian, the book has wisdom in there, especially Psalms. ❤
Yay for you! Jesus teaches us what true love is first by His sacrifice on the cross. To be a Christian, is to follow Him and His commandments in all aspects of our lives. Love is possibly through Christ alone!❤
I think we’ve been living in delusions for far too long. Look online & read what men are saying about marriage and love. Majority of men seem to have never really cared as much as women. Times are changing and women are putting self love 1st. You would be foolish otherwise in this day and age.
@@beautifulvibes301 and while it is a majority of men it’s still is not all men which is not fair to go by since that majority doesn’t take into account the representation for all of men just for themselves.
You humans don't know what love is. And it's very egotistical and annoying when you humans talk about Love- as if that energy comes from you. As if you humans are the gatekeepers of it. I don't feel the love from humans nor do I feel it for you.
@@beautifulvibes301 why would men care about something(marriage) that benefits women purely? Literally everything you can get in a marriage you can also get in a relationship
I’ve heard of financial dominance (femme doms) who seem to be fine. I follow one who says she gets her money by ignoring men and doesn’t sleep with them
This video came at such a needed time. I totally didn’t realize just how jaded I had become to dating! Being authentically yourself and that’s how you’ll find who you need is such a great point you mentioned
Same here! I couldn’t even figure out what I like or what my standards were because everyone was feeding to me what they SHOULD be. Social media can be very helpful, but also very dark and confusing. I’m just taking time to myself rn to figure out what I like and not what the world thinks I should lol. Wishing you luck during your dating journey!
I would love to see these girls when they are into there 30's how many of them regret being sugar baby's. I read on someone else's video an scort who explained how mentally it has affected her and the horrible experiences she had. In the end I hope these girls are safe not only physically but mentally and spiritually.
I met a woman who is 55. Still doing xes work. She used to be a dancer in college. She started meeting musicians and got into the party lifestyle. She told me so many women get surgery and fake ids. They do it because they are in their 50's and want to stay in xes work(some are trying to meet millionaires). She said her life is miserable but the money makes her stay.
Damian Jr Gong Marley has a song titled, "Where is the love" Ft. Eve. The song speaks on unloved babies being born from loveless relationships . Very deep lyrics.
When you say that it’s ok to be a sex worker…I say for ppl who desire genuine intimacy….it’s not. When it’s only about what you can get or what you can give…then you’re not in alignment with pure love! That sweet spot of being in love cannot be purchased.
Thats why S work is not for everyone. I agree 100% with you and I know for a fact I wouldnt be able to work on that field. Some people are extremely logical, and will not let feelings get in the way of money. Others will need more profound connections that are simply not the case with sw
I think it’s unethical and kind of dishonest to speak about this and it’s contribution to a ‘loveless society’ without talking about the bad behaviour of men which has pushed women to stopping seeking depth and love from them .. the way women are mistreated and unvalued regardless of what they do, it’s not a benefit either way, so I will never look down on a woman choosing the option of gaining SOMETHING from a man as opposed to .. 🤷🏽
@@Solotv84 explain how or, just say you lack the relevant information, understanding and perspective as well as desire in gaining these things to think it’s valid. because the examples are endless. and your ‘disbelief’ sounds like a choice. but feel free to actually educate yourself and look into it if you’d genuinely like to find out. :) sounds like you’re in denial.
But men will have the same argument about women but from their perspective. What you’re saying doesn’t justify these behaviors, it just removes accountability. It’s the pointing fingers game, “well men did this first so…” although it’s true in many cases, it’s a very very broad generalization and it doesn’t do anything to solve the problem
All relationships are transactional, you just have to find the one that works best for you. Marriage for love is a newer phenomenon but in many other cultures it’s still very transactional and they last a lot longer. You grow to love your spouse, the euphoric feeling that is pushed about love is immature and senseless. The real definition of love is about commitment, integrity and respect. It’s not always pretty but it’s reality.
You rlly took the words out my mouth. In other foreign cultures it’s very much still transactional and it doesn’t always equal it being a bad thing. It’s all nuanced!
I agree a lot of this true love)falling in love is bullshit. Over hyped and sold by the United States so that people would lower standards and ignore red flags for feelings
A lot of these kinds of relationships in those countries are in countries where women don’t have any rights, still have dowries and a lot of those countries still practice female genital mutilation and child marriage. Those cultures have a social culture that sees women as chattel. This is not a good example of why a transactional relationship should be normalized in western society.
She's also not as high class as I thought. She's not smart, she's not classy and yet they're listening to her as if she's spreading the gospel. Every time someone is talking about her they say she's classy, smart or business savvy but that's not what I saw. I remember a Black Colombian American friend of mine once saying Black Americans (some considering he was one too 😂) think they're so classy but will indicate normal poor or working class things as if they're the classiest things. They'll brag about these trips but it's to Mexico or the next city over 😂! I don't consider a trip to Uganda or Ethiopia or Mombasa or Dar es Salaam the epitome of a classy trip! They're fun but at least take me to Morocco to call it classy!
The society rules by men had always been transactional. Women used to be married off as a comodity to benefit men. They still think like that, so why should be any different?
It’s like no one wants to be IN love anymore. Everything within relationships is derived from hookup culture, no one courts people anymore. A guy can’t simply ask a girl out on a date and not expect sex. Same with women, we close ourselves off and center our mind on being secure instead of actually enjoying ppl and relationships.
Honestly, scares me to date. Me personally, I wanna be in love, and want a strong relationship that turns into a happy marriage with kids. But damn, people acting like vultures out here, I feel too scared to try anymore.
Women have to do that though because of how men are doing what you said, It's either that or opting out of dating entirely to preserve our self-respect
Please tell me when people were actually in love? Historically, marriages were always about survival and business. I do not understand people who romanticize "old school love." Our grannies had no choice because it was illegal for them to open up their own bank accounts.
@@jobunny919 you are totally correct. grandma was submissive because she had no choice. She'd literally be homeless cuz women couldn't get their own apartments
@@natashadickson4819and that alone should already tell you what kind of man you are choosing to invest your future in. But I guess most side chicks dont care about if the husband will be faithful or not. They care about whether or not they will keep their security, which is probably what drove them to persist in a relationship with a man that is unavailable and has no remorse for lying and cheating. If there were any morals in the building they wouldn’t do to someone else what they wouldnt like to be done to them. So yeah, most of these relationships are transactional and both parties know it. They just don’t openly say it.
Save your money and start a business build your life off of their backs that’s her end goal or heaven if you will, that she offers to her followers. She isn’t promoting it as something to do forever.
Growing up is realising this tbh. This exact thing has existed in one form or another, forever. Things just adapt with the times. So now instead of irl businesses, we have escorting, sugar babies, sw, online. And we are all now online constantly, so there's no avoiding it. I think that's why people feel like it's this new thing. Cause theyre only learning about it's prominence now.
It's a new thing girl, I'm an old man and can assure you people used to genuinely like each other LMAO. The internet has y'all dogmatic on ideas that have been orchestrated by people in power. They want to commodify your soul and own your generations pockets till the grave. You will be working for ever, retirement won't be a thing. You are warned. @@ciaraskeleton
Girl at the 22 min mark is right that sw used to be to survive. I worked in clubs for 10 years in the early 2000's dancing, but it was to not be poor and to give my daughter a better start in life than I had. For many women it was a way out of poverty, because going to college or finding a well paying job was not always attainable. I didn't have to have sex with clients either because I kept my business in the club and made my "bag" that way. Now everything is saturated and all about getting BBL's and going shopping. Also I like to point out that this need for money should be treated like any other addiction, because it can destroy lives especially if you put it before anything else in life....hence why billionaires are the worst thing that has ever happened to the planet.
Another amazing video! My Dad had sugar babies and ended up married to one. She kicked him down when he was sick. And I'm pretty sure a few others tried to poison him. I warned him but he didn't listen. Thank God he wrote a Will and protected his assets so my Brother and I kept our inheritance
Are you for real, those our your sisters your talking about, they are all our sisters, we are all their sisters, how you can talk about the same sex like that is beyond disgusting. These girls need guidance and safety, not remarks like that thrown in there face.
This video was very eye opening and it makes you realise just how broken our society is😢😢😢. Honestly, this culture of "hooking up" or "escourting" and overall glorifying this transactional love whatnot is one of the reasons why a lot of people don't want to date or are very hesitant about dating. I really get why, what's the point of dating or courting someone if all they want from you is money and sex😔😔😔
this video really made my respect for u increase! Thank you for speaking on this despite the possibility you’ll be called a pick me or one of those dumb insults. The internet had me wanting to be a dang sugar baby when I was 13 and made me do questionable things at that age 😭
I was so naive and dumb that I genuinely thought dudes paid for companionship. 😭🤣 Its only when I got older that I realised that nah it's ALLLLL s3x and money with a big side of oppression and abuse. 😂❤
Gosh I’m so happy I had a loving, proactive father figure who swallowed the discomfort and had the uncomfortable but necessary conversations with me since my pre teens… Also appreciate that my husband has so much in common with my late father but only his positive (but improved) traits and neutral traits and not his negative traits. He finds me sweet, endearing, rebellious against modern sexual degeneracy, worthy of protection and looking out for and says he finds my views on sexual liberation entailing a restricted sociosexuality to be admirable.
I find it interesting that being rich = soft life. You can be middle class and have a soft comfy life. Also the fact that soft life = not working a 9 to 5 either isnt true. With my husband and my income combined we are doing just fine financially, even with inflation. Having a 9 to 5 allows me to have a soft life and doesnt require me giving away the most intament parts of myself. Plus I have an amazing man who supports and loves me and who i support and love back. Honestly i feel like this is the best balance.
This is such an important topic!! All these surface level relationships and this advice is coming from somewhere super jaded. I agree it contributes to the loveless society
FACTS! It’s just really depressing, and truth is you’re still putting your emotions and mental health at risk being with a man just cause he’s rich. Everything that you do has a relative amount of risk, that’s just how life is. I get that making sure your wellbeing is taken care of is important, especially for those who grew up on survival mode, but they also deserve to heal and to love, and to be loved! I won’t judge people who chose to have a roof over their heads, but I hope they don’t discourage others who could very well have meaningful relationships
@@tiaraw872 but that's the thing. We live in a society and have to deal with these arrogant, self-centered users to varying degrees. To top it off they are praying upon people's financial or relationship anxieties for their own personal gain. Which is not good because that creates a new crop of A-Holes that we have to deal with even more.
Call it what it is. I was a sugar baby for a while in my early 20s and it destroyed my self-esteem. I'm finally feeling like myself again at 28! It's no shame, ladies. But know your worth.
I think it's a grand idea...especially if you're tired of getting hurt or no longer care about love...love has never paid any bills...if I only knew now back when I was younger 😂😂😂😂😂could've collected money instead of wasting my time 😂😂😂😂😂😂
this is a must watch for this generation cause in the early 2000's women were roasted for being "golddiggers" now the entire culture is pay me first so crazy... great job Queen Toni!
I'm not from the US but I've heard going to college can cost up to 40k a year. So I can kind of understand why many college girls are becoming sugar babies cause who the hell has that kind of money??? Or other women in tough situations I get why they do it too.
You’re totally right, and you’re so pretty I decided on not taking advice from social media a long time ago. I’m perfectly fine with being by myself and being patient and being supportive
Not everyone can do sex work. It's perfectly fine to be an escort or sugar baby if that suits you and you can handle it but many women can't handle that. A lot of women can't even handle one night stands or casual relationships. I tried once to date "casually" and it was terrible, even though I liked the guy and he was really hot. It's just not for everyone. That's something we have to keep in mind, I believe majority of women are not built to be sex workers. It demands special mind-set.
You would be surprised lol. I think a lot of women can be sex workers. Women have been sleeping with men since the beginning of time and weren’t getting a dime out of it. They weren’t getting love either. So, hey!
@ToniBryanneTV I think you bring up a plethora of points as to why healthy marriages are on the decline. However, for the sake of further discussion on this topic, I would like to say I don’t think people should get married solely for “love”/it shouldn’t be the main reason. Now hear me out, there’s a few reasons as to why I say this and I’ll mention it at the end. The main reason being, our western society has become too individualistic AND capitalistic. In the past our society had concrete expectations to marriage which did not factor in love because it was a luxury most could not afford. However during the 19th century, love marriages started to rise due to changing economy which for the most part affected our social structure, this allowed people that luxury (a good thing yes) but fast forward a few more decades to the sexual revolution. This is when you start to see a change in our cultural acceptance to certain stigmatized situations (out of wedlock children, divorce, independent women, and sexuality) things that could be part of “shame culture” which was mentioned in the video. We see it is during this time that divorce rates start to increase and have been steadily on the rise since then. Now hovering at 50%. And this is starting roughly from around 1960s. I think our society has shifted so much, I’m not sure if our current generation truly understands what it is to have a healthy long-lasting marriage, let alone a loving one. It’s concerning to me to see the lack of respect towards both genders nowadays. Women saying that they don’t need a man but will gladly take his resources and men having a lack of chivalry. I just don’t believe people are fully equipped to understand the duty that comes with marriage to make it work. And sadly how could they? There is a deficit of knowledge and resources in our society to teach the younger generations this. I brought up the divorce statistic because I think almost everyone knows somebody who is a child of divorced parents OR had grown up in a single mother household which I think, solidifies my point in saying that majority of our generation wouldn’t even know what a loving relationship between a man and women looks like(I’m only speaking about heterosexual relationships). Going back to our individualistic society that promotes a behavior set on prioritizing making oneself feel good all the time, can also make it harder to overcome marital issues that can be normal in marriages and having that sense of duty to another person. Let’s also remember capitalism benefits through these now normal “stigmatized” situations too. The video mentioned social media and fast culture, and I too believe too many people chase attention and the “feel good” feelings that come with the start of an initial relationship, that they could end up chasing their infatuations and not necessarily love itself if that makes sense. I think people need to relearn the reason why we get married in the first place before it is done just for love. There are other factors to consider before marrying a person, and the person you love could still end up being the wrong one too. There’s just so much to unpack with this topic its too much for a comment section😅
I love me some Shera Seven! People don’t like her approach but she’s saving women’s lives, specifically women of color who’ve been subjected to all kinds of mistreatment because no woman has had the confidence to tell us the truth. Don’t make women to blame for finding a way to make it in a patriarchal system. This video should talk more about impoverished single mothers and women who’ve lost themselves from engaging with men that can offer them nothing. There’s no such thing as a woman engaging in transactional love, because we are the love. We are the emotions within a relationship, and calling it transactional is just a way to shift the focus from women’s empowerment to guilting women for asking for what they materially want and need. You do NOT need to give up your body to receive anything, the only reason men resort to expecting that is because they think you can be bought. And even if it is “sex work”, what do you call women who are giving themselves away for free?
Thank you very much. She says things that our mothers don't say. She loves her husband she's said so many times, Why wouldn't she love someone who made it easier for her to be a woman??😂 people are just trying to make her look bad
I mean the larger point that’s unspoken is the simple fact that a man is not a financial plan which is what shera promotes. Things are hard I get it but the answer isn’t to teach women to be dependent on men. If we’re in relationships solely for the financial benefits then how different are we from our grandmothers who were stuck in horrible marriages bc they didn’t have their own.
Incredible video! I find it hard to express my critiques on sex work for fear of sounding "regressive," but your video has given me more confidence in my opinions. Here are some things I liked: • How you quoted a Bible verse in the intro but did not use religion as a basis for your stance. • How Shera's content is not entirely denounced, and how you delve into why Shera views love as transactional. (As they say, don't hate the player, hate the game.) • The use of the term "Transactional Love." Rather than shaming sex workers, you talk about the emptiness that accompanies these activities. As humans, we yearn for love, but incentivized sex creates a barrier to mutual respect between both parties. • How you hold influencers accountable for not being transparent about their work. • Your quote at 20:20 I think this video can be great at reaching an audience that may not initially agree with you. So many people discuss the "morality" of sex work while refusing to see sex workers for what they are: human. These well-crafted pieces really do mean a lot to us like-minded women. Keep up the great work!
I’m ngl, I think this is a very social media centric problem. In my own experience, the people I know want fulfilling relationships and they want to make money based off of their education (not to devalue sex work but I just don’t think it’s for everyone). Maybe it’s just the people I choose to associate with? But I feel like most of the people I encounter in my day to day are decent and honest and just trying to survive in our janky economy.
I’m a certified Dating, Relationship, Marriage and Healing coach that is the complete opposite of what is being sold on Social Media! I agree that a lot of coaches (especially female coaches) only speak from their point of view and are giving advice that isn’t personalized but more generalized and focused based on their own experiences so this is why it isn’t helpful to many Women❤ However, based off of my own data, a lot of Women run to tiktok or ig to compare their love life to others and then make it their own story when in reality it isn’t their OWN story. I’ve heard this so many times in my sessions, even with married women who have gotten married for all the wrong reasons---> MONEY and now realizing within my sessions that there’s more to their husband than just financial support/stability❤ Thank you for talking about this! Absolutely love your channel 💯
Thank you for making this video and being honest. I pray for all of these young women, if can get very dangerous and have long term effects. I don’t agree that the lifestyle is “ok” but I see your point.
The purpose of marriage also varies between culture. Some date for love but there’s also plenty that do it financial stability. And quite frankly, financial struggles often leads to the downfall of marriages regardless of the amount of love yall have. Why? Financial struggles is linked to mental and physical health issues that will ultimately impact your relationship. People need to stop acting dense saying “money isn’t important” or “love is all you need”. Love is important. But so is money. You need to look for both.
Also let’s not fault women for finding a way to monetarily benefit from a culture that seeks to exploit them anyway. If it’s not for you, it’s not for you. But if love ain’t their priority, they’re not stressing it. Sugaring is transactional and everyone involved knows it. They are grown.
I agree with you on the glorification of all of this to be a problem. S*x work is not easy and it can be dangerous. People need to stop overlooking that.
All truth. Idk why these people keep lying lol I’ve seen several seemingly great relationships and marriages fail due to money issues. Usually, the woman is carrying the weight of everything and gets tired.
When it's proving that men can't love, they might care about you, bu not love you, so why should women invest their times in loving only?.all marriage are transactional
Humans are not God. So humans need to stop talking about love as if it came from humanity. Nah. It came from God. So that means it's outside of this world.
there is a HUGE issue surrounding xes work in the united states. People think this is all that xes work is, when the reality is the trade is ruining SO MANY young womens lives especially in SEA. None of this should ever be promoted, glorified, or sought after. It's so heartbreaking hearing stories of people who were forced into this lifestyle because of poverty or other conditions, and who have feared for their safety throughout that process and even after they leave the trade. It's horrifying and the US lives in such a bubble that women don't believe there could be anything wrong with promoting a lifestyle that's so harmful to young women. Disgusted by this trend and I hope more people come around to your sentiments.
I was a dancer off and on for a few years it opened a can of worms in my life ended in me being trafficked. I grew up in poverty and many times as a young girl and women I felt that only my body had value I started around 18/19 and fully removed myself from the lifestyle at 24 many times I was disrespected taken advantage of by men and women and ‘friends’. A certain moment plays back in my head all the time when another dancer at the club I was then waitressing at told me she would never promote the job or anyone to work there. They always cut the waitresses hours and encourage you to become a dancer I know it’s not the same story for everyone and at the time in my life I don’t think I could have made it ‘on my own’ without working at the club and having sugar daddies but I really regret those years I won’t ever get them back and I can’t change back to who I used to be. I’m jaded now and maybe forever by so many aspects of this lifestyle..
I think modern women that have this transactional mindset have TRIED to date men in their tax bracket, and been incredibly disappointed. Leaving a Situationship or a relationship with nothing but wasted time and energy. I look at it as a form of women empowerment… not sex work. What would you call the woman who are hooking up on a first date then??
Exactly. Men will get MAD when you deny them sex just because they've paid for a meal. Also there's husbands who think they're entitled to sex 24/7 just because they pay bills (not even all) Ask a man "online" if he's ok with sleeping with his wife even when she doesn't want to and he'll say yes because he also works when he doesn't want to. What kinda comparison is that?
I hate to say it but finding out I was lied to by a bf who funded my whole lifestyle, gave me 7000k per month, left me with a 20 000k savings & all bills paid did not sting as badly as if I just waisted my time with a brokie.
I lowkey agree with this. I’ve been similar situations where I’m with a man who doesn’t have it all, isn’t fit, isn’t making 6 figures, etc etc. I didn’t end up with a ring, or a thank you, or a title. I was told “I want to explore my options” or left in the dust when they went to the woman they really wanted.
At 12:18 when you mentioned that thing about us being by in a loveless society. Matthew 24:12 popped into my head. “The love of many will grow cold” - this was one of the signs of the end times. Crazy how slowly but surely the signs of the end times are becoming more evident in our society……. Crazy huh…
Dang. Loved your take. I agree 💯. It’s been a loveless society for as long as I’ve been alive. I grew up a hopeless romantic and slowly learned to be more transactional. I wish it wasn’t this way but success is success. I might not ever get love but I will always have someone by my side if I can afford it.
Ya'll, off topic, but I was at the dentist with my dad. There was a girl around the age of 8 or 9 behind me, her mother said sm along the lines of "I found a cup for u, it's made of steel, but it isn't a/the Stanley", and the girl sounds/sounded so disappointed, and she said "It isn't a Stanley...?/Not a Stanley...?" 😭 YA'LL.
All relationships are transactional, but we definitely need nuance in this world. Honestly we need self love and self esteem in this world, everyone is so insecure and have gutter esteem levels so we just say yes to whatever and do whatever. We take the worst advice because in our heads, anything is better than being alone (i use our and we loosely…I’m not a part of that lol) love can be found in many forms beyond romance and we put too much into romantic relationships instead of just love between individuals. Whether it be familial or platonic, those are equally valuable (and transactional in different ways) all in all, we need to love ourselves and have standards, expectations, and boundaries
That's not true! Relationship is about doing for the one you kove out of being genuinely in love with them. Without doing trying to get something out of people.
finally someone spoke on shera. she gives off all these crazy toxic advice and people are praising her instead of waking up on her. thank you for spreading the awareness!
The discourse is needed on both ends so one can create a balanced perspective. There will never be a monolithic view on these topics, that’s the beauty of living. But many women will come to understand through experience, the best place to be is in a state of peace. You can have your standards but never compromise your peace.
As a man, men need to stop cheating on they wives. You mess with the wrong woman, who finds out, capitalizes on it, and teaches a whole generation of women to do the same. Y'all make it difficult for a brother to get a decent date 😂😂😂😂 Women, if he lied about having someone else, don't entertain it and say all men are cheaters. And remember, loud voices on the internet doesn't reflect all the problems and nuances in society. Awesome vid
I love watching you and your vids but I would have to disagree with the shera part because I feel like her main message is men can ask for sex but as women we can’t ask for money now we r the bad guys? It’s just not fair
Hey love, thank you for your support! I said I agree with a lot of things Shera says, but she still believes in strictly transactional love. I think love can be deeper than just being with a rich man.
@@ToniBryanneTVto keep it real with you, this isn’t anything new. Relationships have been transactional quite literally since the beginning of time lmao. Like even in biblical times. If anything I feel we’ve moved away from transactional love for awhile, and now it’s being slightly popularized again I believe bc of capitalism and the economy. But hey what do I know.
@@ToniBryanneTV more than likely they weren’t. But the closer I get to 30, I see everything is not so black and white. You can make a man having money a first priority and then still choose him for his character as well. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. Is it a bit transactional? Sure. However so are these traditional relationships men want🤷🏽♀️
Not only is this society transactional but also addicted to instant gratification. Why fix relationships when I can have another you in a minute?
👏👏 great point!!
It's so icky. But there are people out here yearning for normalcy, just don't give up faith if you're out there trying to date.
it reminds me of people who get married and then don’t put in effort over the years to still develop the relationship.
Being that there’s a growing rate of incels … most men cannot have “ another you in a minute”
Literally a Beyoncé song
I’m a xes worker and I agree. A lot of these “coaches” are rebranded xes workers giving young women tips on how to find a “rich man” yet these tips are exactly how you find a CLIENT. Naive women are going to upscale bars looking for rich men not knowing that’s a form of freestyling.
This is so enlightening. I truly don’t think a lot of women understand the perception it gives off. The way I see it, if you’re only here to get money then you must be at work!
Yes! Like that girl Michelle Diaz lol
Thank you for sharing your knowledge on this topic! Please shoot me a dm on Instagram @tonibryannetv
@@elimartinez___Michelle never told woman to go to upscale bars
yes they stole it from sex workers
My issue is that people keep saying “this is the way the world is now” and fall in line with the loveless society instead of continuing to be the change we need when it comes to relationships
Should be pinned, literally thank you?! People are acting like dumbass sheep and just following what others are doing even if it's wrong, rather than holding a strong moral stance and being the change that they want so badly. 🤡 What more can be said, honestly?
People are too much of a conformist and sacrifice their own wants to blend in
Exactly. I literally had a conversation with my brother the other day- he made a statement saying that he might just become like every other womanizer man that’s out here, I told him no?? That’s stupid. You need to stand on business.
As long as women want money and men want sex, thats just how it is
Yeah well everyone else can accept it and give up but i will never lose hope that real love exists and we are all capable of finding it. I already feel like i have and im 28.🤷🏽♀️ all these therapy positive views and no one can dig themselves out of their own hell that they built in their heads? What are therapists even telling these people?
Couldn't be me.
Right!!
"Changing your vocabulary does not change the reality of what you're doing"
☝️☝️☝️☝️ This right here.
Soft Language that Comedian George Carlin highlighted beautifully
It's called semantics
Facts!
No amount of money will make me tolerate disrespect
No amount of so called love either. . .
Agreed
@@chayo4537. 😂😂😂
@@chayo4537 a man who loves you, would honor and respect you the way God intended. It’s as simple as that
@@CrystalLovesChristagreed
My dad constantly tells me:
If you threw away everything to have just one thing, you'll never be content with anything.
Happiness is being content with the blessings of today. You never had them yesterday.
Never sell your soul for what your soul can already do for you.
That's beautiful
Should address hook up culture also. Like there isnt any real dates anymore. The guys who are dating are acting like the date is a formality before they get to take us home. The whole time im trying to get to know him to decide if i like him and he's just tapping his foot because he thinks any dating app swipe equates to sex, just sex. They act like its a transaction. I'd rather take money than a meal/drinks/movie if you're going to be that way, transactional. They dont even wanna buy dinner anymore!
It's another side of the issue is that people aren't doing the due diligence to try to date people that they actually like. I personally know a couple of people who go on all kinds of dates and get into extended hookups with ppl they don't even like as a person.
Yes !! Getting with people just off of physical attraction and then on top of that it’s like guys don’t have ANY energy or desire. It’s like they just want a girl to exist around them or be around when they get horny
Wow. This is so awful. 😞
I hate those men who think they are entitled they deserve sex on first day cause he pay for dinner, seriously what's wrong with them they think women body is one dinner meal price
And that’s why I don’t date. 9/10 they ask for me to randomly go out for drinks or go over to their house and not a REAL date
As an autistic girlie, it sounds so exhausting having to mask and date for material things and transactional way. I love being transparent and acknowledge that I need love and others.
do you.
Same girl
Same!! Not autistic but another neurodivergent here. I need to have an emotional connection and I need love. Transactional love sounds nice but it’s not for me, I need intimacy. I really don’t like having to mask who I am and how I feel. It truly is exhausting…
So true
Guess I’m autistic cause I can’t stand that fake ass shit 😅
It’s so nasty to me that men in their 50s and 60s are sleeping with young girls 18 to 21. Like truly it feels so predatory to me.
But it should be backwards they have the choice
It is predatory, there’s a reason they go for girls that are younger, and less financially stable than them. They’re easier to manipulate 🤷♀️
@@Hannibhaal777let’s be honest tho, these girls are freshly out of HIGHSCHOOL or just entering college looking to live a lifestyle influenced on social media, no other 18-21 year old male can offer that these older males are divorced , lonely, receiving retirement checks and can offer them that. it’s disgusting all around but c’mon these old men can turn these girls down and turn it into a learning opportunity! isn’t that what adults are supposed to do??? not take advantage.
Women don't find that money nasty
@@Penterror🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
When I was 18-19 I almost fell for this. I created a profile for seeking arrangement and almost went to a date with an older man. I was in a difficult situation financially. What stopped me was when I asked myself if I would’ve been proud of what I was going to do 3 years from now.
I was Disgusted and stopped it all together. I am so thankful I didn’t do it.
Shera says only start dating older men if you're over 24-25
Yea and she says to go to bars not online stuff @Musashi944
It depends on how you do it. I would tell them it’s $300 to meet, that way I didn’t waste my time. I would only meet them at a nice restaurant and majority of the time I never responded again, only 2 ppl I actually continued to date. One was for 2 years…he lived overseas, but would come every month for 10 days to visit me and took very very very good care of me. Now, the ones that do this to have s3x on the first date is another story
How did u recover financially n how long did it take if u don’t mind me askin ?
Same with me, but honestly, it was a guy who helped me realize that this wasn't worth it and that I could lose my life. After that conversation, I never went back to my 2nd date.
It’s well known that Sheera’s husband was already married when he met her. One thing she will never share with her followers is how many times he’s caught her doing the exact same thing he did to his last wife to her. She’ll never share all she has to sacrifice to stay with this man.
I was shocked to learn about that.
People are taking the advice she gives way too seriously and looking at her and James’s relationship it comes off as super toxic especially the way they interact with each other.
She doesn't love him she only stay with him cause he is rich, she doesn't care if he cheat she only see him as her bank account
Exactly only take her advice if u can handle it 😅😅@@Sn0wflake7827
@@talialovesI mean she said she doesn't care and is was not here for love. She stated several times that if you are looking for love, you not take her advice. She is very upfront about it.
Plus if you listen to her talk about James she's like 'no we don't kiss. We don't touch. Why would we?'
When I heard that I was like....damn she's the last person to be giving ANYONE relationship advice. Maybe financial advice, business advice, but not relationship advice. People shouldn't be taking what she's saying as the formula for love, it's not, it's the formulae for money and sacrifice. 😂
I watch this tictok where the lady said something along the lines that women who are truly happy in their relationship are never the one's giving dating advice. And when you really look at it most of these dating "coaches" aren't even in a loving and/or caring relationship themselves...
I was a SW for 10 years, and I totally agree 😅 There’s a lot of problems with so many young girls turning to this profession once they turn 18.
Yes, if they even wait that long!!!!
I mean got to get it how you live right?
@@se2664 Yes but it’s sad that young girls/women even have to resort to that just to survive
Sex work is not the reason we live in a loveless society. Sex work is a symptom, not a root cause. Real root cause is people being forced to only use the left side of the brain due to industrialization and technology making society extremely masculine - aka focused on efficiency and profit (masculine left brain values) instead of human connection and empathy (feminine right brain values). But it’s certainly easy to just blame women for anyone whose IQ is so low they can’t do critical thinking and comprehend what is actually happening in the collective consciousness of society.
@@tinytoaster9519 men have to survive too. And they can't sell their bodies either. It's not anymore sadder than that.
It’s funny that some women don’t realize,if you genuinely love a man and he loves you it motivates him to make more money too , it doesn’t have to be transactional, it doesn’t matter his salary if he loves you he will make whatever you want happen ,the secret is it has to be genuine love from both people and anything will work out 😮
It's so true. People forget that in relationships: You're supposed to feel GOOD. You're supposed to feel love for eachother.
You shouldn't feel like you have to scam money out of them, or lie, or scheme to get them to stick around. If a dude loves you and if you love him, you don't need to do any of this stuff, ever. Cause you'll both inherently want to meet eachothers needs.
Whether it's financial, emotional, physical or spiritual yknow? Some couples aren't as focused on money, maybe they feel super rich when they live a quiet life w their partner and dogs. Others are more money focused, so providing or material things are more important to them. But it should never be this 'lets manipulate this person into giving me what I want 👿'
Yes, when i met my man we made the same amount of money at $24/hr (we live in California so that isnt much). He’s a single father so he was motivated to make more but i feel like having me in his life made the motivation much more strong. His next job he got a salary and then he was able to get promoted/raise in less than a year. He’s up for another one and we’ve been together just 2 years. When i met him i questioned if he could provide the life I wanted and now, he’s putting up money to help me thru graduate school. My grandma to pray and have faith that God would send me a man who could provide. I’m not religious but having my Chrisitian grandma, she gave me and him a lot of encouraging advice and to trust in God and each other. You just need to make an investment in each other to help each other move up in the world.
Exactly I’ve even witnessed it myself my ex drove Uber all day and some night to get me anything I wanted and needed.
Thank you!!
That’s cute but in my experience, when you love them genuinely they get complacent and work hard anymore. We need to stop selling women this dream that love with make him do xyz. That’s not usually the case.
Amen!!! There are WAYYYY too many ppl dishing out advice.... Especially considering that 99% of these ppl aren't in loving relationships themselves.
So sad.
Way too many "influencers" all being paid by secretive entities to influence people to do the wrong things.
Exactly!!
Sex work is not the reason we live in a loveless society. Sex work is a symptom, not a root cause. Real root cause is people being forced to only use the left side of the brain due to industrialization and technology making society extremely masculine - aka focused on efficiency and profit (masculine left brain values) instead of human connection and empathy (feminine right brain values). But it’s certainly easy to just blame women for anyone whose IQ is so low they can’t do critical thinking and comprehend what is actually happening in the collective consciousness of society.
PLEASE TALK ABOUT HOOKUP CULTURE!!! No one talks about it anymore. It pisses me off how many guys I've interacted with have participated in the though process of first date = sex.
situationships and infidelity is so common nowadays. All the drama is insufferable
It's like no one cares about genuine relationships anymore
Exactly because it was the hookup culture that really bred this transactional culture we see now. Women realized we were being used for the price of a meal which is why the idea of SW isn’t so bad to a lot of girls
Hookup culture been around since the beginning of time. I am in my 40’s and trust me, men were not marrying like that, they were having secs with anything walking, didn’t matter how the female looked. In my early 20’s, I had a dude tell me due to how I carry myself, I will always be a main chick but they prefer something on the side. Men do not like the pretty girl that carry themselves well until they’re older and the girls that love hookups, situationships doesn’t want them anymore.
"I rely on my inner peace to get through anything"
not to sound melodramatic but I struggle with mental health issues and I actually needed that. I'm emotional. Thank you Toni. With my inner peace nothing else can touch me. I forget that often. Again, I didnt know how much I needed that and thank you.
Xoxoxo from Maine!
I pray you do ANYTHING you want to do
@@morganrobinson3066amen!
@@morganrobinson3066Thank you!!!❤️❤️❤️🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🥺🥺🥺
I'm in the same boat as you, and that verse spoke to me today ❤
@@morganrobinson3066 thank you love 🙏🏻🙏🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🥺
I spent my teenage years on tumblr, an extremely liberal and sex positive platform at the time. As soon as I turned 18 I became a sugar baby and cam girl. I already had daddy issues and previous trauma as well as autism, and the internet painted sex work not only as empowering, but that age gap relationships were also more loving and mature. I’m 22 now and have been severely traumatised from the middle aged men I met when I was a naive 18-19 year old. I wish leftist spaces were more aware that that anti-sex work ≠ anti-sex workER. I wish they actually listened more to some criticism of sex work as a whole, instead of shunning it altogether.. If I had known of the realistic risks from of sex work from the beginning, I wouldn’t have had this romanticised and idealised version of it in my head, and I wouldn’t have put myself in danger.
i was on tumblr during this time too and never was influenced to do sex work sorry you went through that and didn’t have someone to guide you not to make that decision being mentally vulnerable but you’re 22 and still young and have enough time to get help and live the way you want i hope it happens and i hope you’re well
Thank you for saying this! 👏
what did they do to you that left you traumatized? Was it things they said?
You were 18 and didn't think what you were CHOOSING TO DO was st*pìd?
@@Chile_N 18 is extremely young, you’re literally still a teenager.
My kids dont have to worry about me being in freaknik docs, only fans or none of that. I chose education and honest work. Praying for these babies
🙌🙌🙌
The pb is men who are paying on vice Asia 90s or 80 something are in xes work 😢
Me too😢
only fans is work too
Just because a man likes your beauty or your looks, doesn't necessarily mean that he is in need to create a relationship with you.
He can do that with anyone he finds attractive.
That's why women should charge them, by wasting their time
@@anonymousanonymous870 That wasn't the point of my comment😑💀
THis is why it's important to vet for a man who values not just your looks, but your personality, character and morals as well. We live in such a superficial society that now it has come to this and yet people seldom speak about the horrors of the Sugar baby lifestyle. It's not natural it's not how God intended men and women to interact
“Changing your vocabulary does not change the reality of what you are doing.” Thank you for speaking about this Toni.
This is so sad. These girls and women are participating in such soul crushing lifestyles for “financial security”.
Have mercy LORD!
Sex work is not the reason we live in a loveless society. Sex work is a symptom, not a root cause. Real root cause is people being forced to only use the left side of the brain due to industrialization and technology making society extremely masculine - aka focused on efficiency and profit (masculine left brain values) instead of human connection and empathy (feminine right brain values). But it’s certainly easy to just blame women for anyone whose IQ is so low they can’t do critical thinking and comprehend what is actually happening in the collective consciousness of society.
I definitely have a lil different outlook on the sprinkle sprinkle lady. I didn’t know her relationship was like that 🥴She’s really just like the rest of these women that settle. But she settled with someone that so happens to have money. Love is not the end goal of her advice, she wants you to find someone rich & that’s it🤷🏽♀️lol you gotta go through the cheating crap, lying etc, that’s just too much stress for me. I rather stay single for the rest of my life than to do that. Some of her advice do be on point tho.
I agree!
I want to have my cake and eat it too, if I can’t have that I’d rather stay single forever. Her advice is at the end of the day money always softens the blow, but in reality she’s convincing herself and other women to settle.
As much as I like some of her advice about respecting yourself and having dignity, I realise all these games to get a rich man and all that mental gymnastics ain't for me so imma stay single
@@talialovesno the reality is that ALL men cheat. She's just saying don't end up splitting bills and not being taken care of by someone whose going to do whay theyre going to do anyway..
I feel Ike y’all still got it wrong, and I genuinely don’t mean any disrespect when saying this. The options aren’t: “follow miss sprinkle sprinkle’s tricks and schemes or stay single forever.” You can find love without it being an extremely rich man. You have to be patient and you have to be willing to give love too. It may take a while, maybe a few trials but it’s still possible and worth seeking, isn’t it?
(Also sorry if I misinterpreted your comment)
@@CrystalLovesChrist of course. Just don't be foolish enough to fall in love with a broke man who doesn't provide.
I sincerely and prayerfully hope and envision that voices like yours, discussions as such, and many people courageous to speak on these are pushed out in the mass algorithm, we definitely need to keep speaking about these dark realities, that can and DOES happen and DEVOUR us starting at our minds.
God bless you! I’ve come across your channel recently and I couldn’t have thanked God enough for bringing me to a creator like yourself! It’s rare these days, I continue to pray His favor, protection, wisdom, guidance, strength, blessings, and all that your heart desires as you pursue Christ upon you.
I think we forget that our digit footprint is very real and heavily monitored. Especially with us going into a completely digital society I think those that chose to engage in certain behaviors online will come back to bite later on.
Stop being a prophet !
But for real it’s already happening though people are unaliving themselves because of the effects
That woman seems like a pathological liar I would not except any of her advice
You mean accept, but I agree with you.
Yeah she toxic, like Jesus Christ
Not like literally like Jesus the man himself lol so sorry if it came across wrong!
Sheera?
Anyone can give advice on the internet nowadays apparently.
I dont think she lies about everything but she definitely embellishes stuff so she can always look good and unbothered. She has created an image for herself on social media and you bet she is going to do everything in her power to uphold that image.
Here is a GENUINE question.
Why ISN'T sex work bad?
I can’t see one positive thing about it, form the worker to the clientele.
Ikr! God forbid we tell anybody to stop hurting themselves!
It is. I don't think even sx workers say that it's fine
no one says its good its not empowering many many many women are sold into it worldwide they have no choice and women who are poor are forced to do it
Well, its not essentially bad bc sex is literally a human physical need. And just like any other physical needs people will rely on financial transactions to get them met, and the money exchange on that will allow the other party to get their needs met and so forth. It has literally existed since the dawn of time, before there was even a concept of right and wrong, good or bad.
Its the morality and the hypocrisy attached to something widely condemned and at the same time highly seeked out that is BAD.
@@lalailmit is not a physical need it is a physical want. you cannot survive without food or water, people can and do survive years without sex. A lot of people actually prefer to live celibate as-well. Moving on from this fact, sex work in itself is bad and should be considered as a means to an end, not a side-hustle promoted to thousands of vulnerable young girls and women. Most, if not all sex workers admit they hate the work in itself and only do it because they want and enjoy purely the money. Misogyny has existed since the dawn of time, and so will sex work that heavily contributes to it.
This was an awesome video idea. I’m not even Christian or a prude like that, but I think there is something debasing and disheartening about glorifying transactional relationships and it makes all relationships shallow. I’m sad I was in that world
I'm not religious at all and I agree. Whatever happened to just wanting to date someone because you genuinely wanted to get to know them? And then you just spend time getting to know each other and enjoying each others company. I'm even happier now that I have chosen to stay single cause the headache ain't worth it.
@@taryndancer29I think this has nothing to do with religion, I’m an atheist and we shouldn’t remove the human and emotional aspect of us and follow materialism, it’s just a capitalist loophole, that’s not even related to religion but rather to the health of society and mental state of women and our value in it.
🙌🙌🙌
Sex work is not the reason we live in a loveless society. Sex work is a symptom, not a root cause. Real root cause is people being forced to only use the left side of the brain due to industrialization and technology making society extremely masculine - aka focused on efficiency and profit (masculine left brain values) instead of human connection and empathy (feminine right brain values). But it’s certainly easy to just blame women for anyone whose IQ is so low they can’t do critical thinking and comprehend what is actually happening in the collective consciousness of society.
Once you have a man that WANTS to give you the world and willing to put the work in. It’s better than any other relationship.
You can ask and know there isn’t strings attached.
@milenazrzrthen you love yourself. Not settle for disrespect because they’re rich
With all these incurable sexual diseases out here why would anyone want to play with their lives like that?
Ikr!
"Call the police on them then" lol!
Her comedic timing is pure gold😂
Nah 😂 like I only seen alil but of this lady vids . Seen from other vids that her advice is not the best , but her comebacks are funny asl 😂
Finally someone said it 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
We are not $ex toys ladles do not objectify yourself 💕
Sex work fulfills true, basic needs. You're about a Century too late, and saying that in 2024, ROFL.
playing devils advocate here a little bit while i agree with the surface level of what you’re saying the root of it is soooo much deeper. love didn’t just start becoming transactional in our generation when the city girls starting singing about it. A lot of our grandparents of all backgrounds were in transactional relationships/ marriages (most times underaged) because of the patriarchy as means of survival. The way women rap about it now i feel like is a way of women taking their power back in a sense. A lot of men have been viewing relationships as transactional for generations the only difference now is that women have found a way to make that transaction beneficial to them too. The only way we stop it is to dismantle the patriarchy and its ideals entirely not just parts of it
The more freedoms women get the more transactional relationships become
Agree!
@@Penterror History disagrees 😉
@@lalaalexis7018 history agrees, look at marriage rates
@@Penterror marriage rates are going down because ultimately men don’t know how to treat women and it’s been that way for generations. women just aren’t still willing to stay in transactional relationships while getting treated like dirt by men just to say they got a roof over their heads
Yeah I really can’t get into this new wave of transaction centered relationships. And no I’m not saying women should be with men who have nothing, this is where nuance comes in. I know myself- I will always want more from my partner than just a check lol.
I bet a lot of these “workers” will eventually have a lot of mental health issues. These transactional relationships seem very damaging.
I think Brittany Renner is a great example of the utter mental destruction that lifestyle brings. she’s in her mid 30s and wants to finally settle down and be a wife but because of her past being plastered all over the internet and getting around the industry, no one respects her or takes her seriously at all. i do feel for her but at the same time, she made her own bed and now she has to lie in it for the rest of her life unfortunately. you can see how unhappy and restless she is as she tries desperately to no avail to rebrand herself. it destroys the soul nearly irreparably. i pray one day she is able to find some inner peace.
@@suncrestt4839 yeah I don’t wish nothing bad on these women but man.. it would be rough having your body out on the internet forever.
I love that you give us a Bible verse for the day. I grew up Christian, went away from the church, and now I find myself seeking comfort in the Bible again. Even if I'm not necessarily a Christian, the book has wisdom in there, especially Psalms. ❤
Doesn't the Bible say that a man is supposed to provide for his woman and family....
Does that make God a pimp
Yes! Jesus loves you, what’s important is a personal relationship with him, and I pray you can too find a loving church community ❤️
Yay for you! Jesus teaches us what true love is first by His sacrifice on the cross. To be a Christian, is to follow Him and His commandments in all aspects of our lives. Love is possibly through Christ alone!❤
The lack of maturity and the rise of selfishness aids in glorifying behaviors that lead to emptiness and mental anguish. No one is the prize. Love is.
I think we’ve been living in delusions for far too long. Look online & read what men are saying about marriage and love. Majority of men seem to have never really cared as much as women. Times are changing and women are putting self love 1st. You would be foolish otherwise in this day and age.
@@beautifulvibes301 and while it is a majority of men it’s still is not all men which is not fair to go by since that majority doesn’t take into account the representation for all of men just for themselves.
You humans don't know what love is. And it's very egotistical and annoying when you humans talk about Love- as if that energy comes from you. As if you humans are the gatekeepers of it. I don't feel the love from humans nor do I feel it for you.
@@beautifulvibes301 why would men care about something(marriage) that benefits women purely? Literally everything you can get in a marriage you can also get in a relationship
Good for you, you haven't become jaded.
As a exotic dancer I'd never encourage it tbh
I've heard it's rough. My friend got ptsd from working in the club for 10+ years.
@Wolfiewolf1234 Def im diagnosed with it
I’ve heard of financial dominance (femme doms) who seem to be fine. I follow one who says she gets her money by ignoring men and doesn’t sleep with them
@@se2664 do you really believe that? Where do I sign up 😅
But you do it, so its worth it...
This video came at such a needed time. I totally didn’t realize just how jaded I had become to dating! Being authentically yourself and that’s how you’ll find who you need is such a great point you mentioned
Same here! I couldn’t even figure out what I like or what my standards were because everyone was feeding to me what they SHOULD be. Social media can be very helpful, but also very dark and confusing. I’m just taking time to myself rn to figure out what I like and not what the world thinks I should lol. Wishing you luck during your dating journey!
I would love to see these girls when they are into there 30's how many of them regret being sugar baby's. I read on someone else's video an scort who explained how mentally it has affected her and the horrible experiences she had. In the end I hope these girls are safe not only physically but mentally and spiritually.
Easy lives always have a steep prize ro pay sooner or later.
I met a woman who is 55. Still doing xes work. She used to be a dancer in college. She started meeting musicians and got into the party lifestyle. She told me so many women get surgery and fake ids. They do it because they are in their 50's and want to stay in xes work(some are trying to meet millionaires). She said her life is miserable but the money makes her stay.
Dating a wealthy man doesn’t equate to sugar baby, it’s the same as dating a broke man. But why date a broke one when you can date a wealthy one lol
Damian Jr Gong Marley has a song titled, "Where is the love" Ft. Eve. The song speaks on unloved babies being born from loveless relationships . Very deep lyrics.
When you say that it’s ok to be a sex worker…I say for ppl who desire genuine intimacy….it’s not. When it’s only about what you can get or what you can give…then you’re not in alignment with pure love! That sweet spot of being in love cannot be purchased.
Thats why S work is not for everyone. I agree 100% with you and I know for a fact I wouldnt be able to work on that field. Some people are extremely logical, and will not let feelings get in the way of money. Others will need more profound connections that are simply not the case with sw
I think it’s unethical and kind of dishonest to speak about this and it’s contribution to a ‘loveless society’ without talking about the bad behaviour of men which has pushed women to stopping seeking depth and love from them ..
the way women are mistreated and unvalued regardless of what they do, it’s not a benefit either way, so I will never look down on a woman choosing the option of gaining SOMETHING from a man as opposed to .. 🤷🏽
Yea like have you met men??😂
Sounds like you're projecting
@@Solotv84 explain how
or, just say you lack the relevant information, understanding and perspective as well as desire in gaining these things to think it’s valid. because the examples are endless. and your ‘disbelief’ sounds like a choice. but feel free to actually educate yourself and look into it if you’d genuinely like to find out. :)
sounds like you’re in denial.
Exactly!
But men will have the same argument about women but from their perspective. What you’re saying doesn’t justify these behaviors, it just removes accountability. It’s the pointing fingers game, “well men did this first so…” although it’s true in many cases, it’s a very very broad generalization and it doesn’t do anything to solve the problem
All relationships are transactional, you just have to find the one that works best for you. Marriage for love is a newer phenomenon but in many other cultures it’s still very transactional and they last a lot longer. You grow to love your spouse, the euphoric feeling that is pushed about love is immature and senseless. The real definition of love is about commitment, integrity and respect. It’s not always pretty but it’s reality.
You rlly took the words out my mouth. In other foreign cultures it’s very much still transactional and it doesn’t always equal it being a bad thing. It’s all nuanced!
Money comes first, love comes later. Love don't put food on the table or clothes on my back or cover rent 🤷🏽♀️ both are equally important tho
@@SweetAsYoni agreed
I agree a lot of this true love)falling in love is bullshit. Over hyped and sold by the United States so that people would lower standards and ignore red flags for feelings
A lot of these kinds of relationships in those countries are in countries where women don’t have any rights, still have dowries and a lot of those countries still practice female genital mutilation and child marriage. Those cultures have a social culture that sees women as chattel. This is not a good example of why a transactional relationship should be normalized in western society.
Sprinkle sprinkle lady was a side chick. Since when did we start listening and respecting side chicks
She's also not as high class as I thought.
She's not smart, she's not classy and yet they're listening to her as if she's spreading the gospel. Every time someone is talking about her they say she's classy, smart or business savvy but that's not what I saw.
I remember a Black Colombian American friend of mine once saying Black Americans (some considering he was one too 😂) think they're so classy but will indicate normal poor or working class things as if they're the classiest things. They'll brag about these trips but it's to Mexico or the next city over 😂! I don't consider a trip to Uganda or Ethiopia or Mombasa or Dar es Salaam the epitome of a classy trip! They're fun but at least take me to Morocco to call it classy!
When we realized that main chicks are constantly getting played.
@@yonce2347 you’re on your own with that one
The society rules by men had always been transactional. Women used to be married off as a comodity to benefit men. They still think like that, so why should be any different?
Right?!
exactly
Facts!
Exactly!
Its different and treated as horrible the moment WOMEN learn to benefit.
It’s like no one wants to be IN love anymore. Everything within relationships is derived from hookup culture, no one courts people anymore. A guy can’t simply ask a girl out on a date and not expect sex. Same with women, we close ourselves off and center our mind on being secure instead of actually enjoying ppl and relationships.
Honestly, scares me to date. Me personally, I wanna be in love, and want a strong relationship that turns into a happy marriage with kids. But damn, people acting like vultures out here, I feel too scared to try anymore.
Women have to do that though because of how men are doing what you said, It's either that or opting out of dating entirely to preserve our self-respect
Please tell me when people were actually in love? Historically, marriages were always about survival and business. I do not understand people who romanticize "old school love." Our grannies had no choice because it was illegal for them to open up their own bank accounts.
@@jobunny919 you are totally correct. grandma was submissive because she had no choice. She'd literally be homeless cuz women couldn't get their own apartments
@@jobunny919true but not all relationships were like that
They love taking someone’s husband , getting the bills paid , and etc until that man leaves you with Nothing or you get left .
Please put some of the blame on the husband, if you don't mind. He wasn't "taken" by the side piece. He chose to cheat with her. ❤
The tables always turn!
@@natashadickson4819you're right, but let's be fr, some of these people specifically seek out married men and women
@@natashadickson4819and that alone should already tell you what kind of man you are choosing to invest your future in. But I guess most side chicks dont care about if the husband will be faithful or not. They care about whether or not they will keep their security, which is probably what drove them to persist in a relationship with a man that is unavailable and has no remorse for lying and cheating. If there were any morals in the building they wouldn’t do to someone else what they wouldnt like to be done to them.
So yeah, most of these relationships are transactional and both parties know it. They just don’t openly say it.
Save your money and start a business build your life off of their backs that’s her end goal or heaven if you will, that she offers to her followers. She isn’t promoting it as something to do forever.
We’ve been in a lovely society FOREVER 💯. These things have existed for years. Men have used women as muses and gave them a pretty label called “wife”
Growing up is realising this tbh. This exact thing has existed in one form or another, forever. Things just adapt with the times. So now instead of irl businesses, we have escorting, sugar babies, sw, online. And we are all now online constantly, so there's no avoiding it. I think that's why people feel like it's this new thing. Cause theyre only learning about it's prominence now.
It's a new thing girl, I'm an old man and can assure you people used to genuinely like each other LMAO. The internet has y'all dogmatic on ideas that have been orchestrated by people in power. They want to commodify your soul and own your generations pockets till the grave. You will be working for ever, retirement won't be a thing. You are warned. @@ciaraskeleton
Girl at the 22 min mark is right that sw used to be to survive. I worked in clubs for 10 years in the early 2000's dancing, but it was to not be poor and to give my daughter a better start in life than I had. For many women it was a way out of poverty, because going to college or finding a well paying job was not always attainable. I didn't have to have sex with clients either because I kept my business in the club and made my "bag" that way. Now everything is saturated and all about getting BBL's and going shopping. Also I like to point out that this need for money should be treated like any other addiction, because it can destroy lives especially if you put it before anything else in life....hence why billionaires are the worst thing that has ever happened to the planet.
Another amazing video!
My Dad had sugar babies and ended up married to one. She kicked him down when he was sick. And I'm pretty sure a few others tried to poison him. I warned him but he didn't listen. Thank God he wrote a Will and protected his assets so my Brother and I kept our inheritance
We need to bring back shame.
Why half of them are found unalive
Are you for real, those our your sisters your talking about, they are all our sisters, we are all their sisters, how you can talk about the same sex like that is beyond disgusting.
These girls need guidance and safety, not remarks like that thrown in there face.
did you read my previous comment???
No
That ended with Vince McMahon's kiss my ass club.
Nothing wrong with sex work. There is something wrong with pretending like it’s just normal dating.
In the past the only way a man could get sex with either by marriage or from a prostitute. Possibly we're just going back to the way it used to be.
Uhh you know that line of work is illegal right?
Uuh you know that’s illegal in most states right?
Just because something is illegal doesn’t mean it’s necessary wrong
I disagree there's a lot wrong with that shit🗣️
This video was very eye opening and it makes you realise just how broken our society is😢😢😢. Honestly, this culture of "hooking up" or "escourting" and overall glorifying this transactional love whatnot is one of the reasons why a lot of people don't want to date or are very hesitant about dating. I really get why, what's the point of dating or courting someone if all they want from you is money and sex😔😔😔
There was never no "love" to begin with.
this video really made my respect for u increase! Thank you for speaking on this despite the possibility you’ll be called a pick me or one of those dumb insults. The internet had me wanting to be a dang sugar baby when I was 13 and made me do questionable things at that age 😭
I was so naive and dumb that I genuinely thought dudes paid for companionship. 😭🤣
Its only when I got older that I realised that nah it's ALLLLL s3x and money with a big side of oppression and abuse. 😂❤
I'm sorry y'all. Sprinkle sprinkle makes me laugh so much. I don't take her seriously but I'm obsessed low key 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Gosh I’m so happy I had a loving, proactive father figure who swallowed the discomfort and had the uncomfortable but necessary conversations with me since my pre teens…
Also appreciate that my husband has so much in common with my late father but only his positive (but improved) traits and neutral traits and not his negative traits. He finds me sweet, endearing, rebellious against modern sexual degeneracy, worthy of protection and looking out for and says he finds my views on sexual liberation entailing a restricted sociosexuality to be admirable.
I find it interesting that being rich = soft life. You can be middle class and have a soft comfy life. Also the fact that soft life = not working a 9 to 5 either isnt true. With my husband and my income combined we are doing just fine financially, even with inflation. Having a 9 to 5 allows me to have a soft life and doesnt require me giving away the most intament parts of myself. Plus I have an amazing man who supports and loves me and who i support and love back. Honestly i feel like this is the best balance.
This is such an important topic!! All these surface level relationships and this advice is coming from somewhere super jaded. I agree it contributes to the loveless society
FACTS! It’s just really depressing, and truth is you’re still putting your emotions and mental health at risk being with a man just cause he’s rich. Everything that you do has a relative amount of risk, that’s just how life is. I get that making sure your wellbeing is taken care of is important, especially for those who grew up on survival mode, but they also deserve to heal and to love, and to be loved!
I won’t judge people who chose to have a roof over their heads, but I hope they don’t discourage others who could very well have meaningful relationships
Life is transactional… no one works for free..love should absolutely cost a thing. Women should be at minimum with a man that is A MAN.
I give kindness for free all the time. 💁🏽♂️
That's a sick and sad outlook on your humanity. Nixon, Reagan, Kissinger and Thatcher would be proud of seeing their handy work be this effective
@@ASSARAPTUSwe all have a different outlook on life 🤷🏽♀️do what works for you
@@tiaraw872 but that's the thing. We live in a society and have to deal with these arrogant, self-centered users to varying degrees. To top it off they are praying upon people's financial or relationship anxieties for their own personal gain. Which is not good because that creates a new crop of A-Holes that we have to deal with even more.
So if no one is working for free and u bring that same mindset into a relationship then is prostitution?
Call it what it is. I was a sugar baby for a while in my early 20s and it destroyed my self-esteem. I'm finally feeling like myself again at 28! It's no shame, ladies. But know your worth.
How did it destroy your self-esteem? Was it things they said to you?
I think it's a grand idea...especially if you're tired of getting hurt or no longer care about love...love has never paid any bills...if I only knew now back when I was younger 😂😂😂😂😂could've collected money instead of wasting my time 😂😂😂😂😂😂
this is a must watch for this generation cause in the early 2000's women were roasted for being "golddiggers" now the entire culture is pay me first so crazy... great job Queen Toni!
Women are still roasted for being golddiggers
I don't even want love anymore tbh. I'm traumatized ugh... it's not worth it!
Lots of unhappiness and suffering will be seen the next decade
Bring it on!!
Thanks!
Thank you!!!
I'm not from the US but I've heard going to college can cost up to 40k a year. So I can kind of understand why many college girls are becoming sugar babies cause who the hell has that kind of money??? Or other women in tough situations I get why they do it too.
You’re totally right, and you’re so pretty
I decided on not taking advice from social media a long time ago. I’m perfectly fine with being by myself and being patient and being supportive
Not everyone can do sex work. It's perfectly fine to be an escort or sugar baby if that suits you and you can handle it but many women can't handle that. A lot of women can't even handle one night stands or casual relationships. I tried once to date "casually" and it was terrible, even though I liked the guy and he was really hot. It's just not for everyone. That's something we have to keep in mind, I believe majority of women are not built to be sex workers. It demands special mind-set.
You would be surprised lol. I think a lot of women can be sex workers. Women have been sleeping with men since the beginning of time and weren’t getting a dime out of it. They weren’t getting love either. So, hey!
@ToniBryanneTV I think you bring up a plethora of points as to why healthy marriages are on the decline. However, for the sake of further discussion on this topic, I would like to say I don’t think people should get married solely for “love”/it shouldn’t be the main reason. Now hear me out, there’s a few reasons as to why I say this and I’ll mention it at the end. The main reason being, our western society has become too individualistic AND capitalistic. In the past our society had concrete expectations to marriage which did not factor in love because it was a luxury most could not afford. However during the 19th century, love marriages started to rise due to changing economy which for the most part affected our social structure, this allowed people that luxury (a good thing yes) but fast forward a few more decades to the sexual revolution. This is when you start to see a change in our cultural acceptance to certain stigmatized situations (out of wedlock children, divorce, independent women, and sexuality) things that could be part of “shame culture” which was mentioned in the video. We see it is during this time that divorce rates start to increase and have been steadily on the rise since then. Now hovering at 50%. And this is starting roughly from around 1960s. I think our society has shifted so much, I’m not sure if our current generation truly understands what it is to have a healthy long-lasting marriage, let alone a loving one. It’s concerning to me to see the lack of respect towards both genders nowadays. Women saying that they don’t need a man but will gladly take his resources and men having a lack of chivalry. I just don’t believe people are fully equipped to understand the duty that comes with marriage to make it work. And sadly how could they? There is a deficit of knowledge and resources in our society to teach the younger generations this. I brought up the divorce statistic because I think almost everyone knows somebody who is a child of divorced parents OR had grown up in a single mother household which I think, solidifies my point in saying that majority of our generation wouldn’t even know what a loving relationship between a man and women looks like(I’m only speaking about heterosexual relationships). Going back to our individualistic society that promotes a behavior set on prioritizing making oneself feel good all the time, can also make it harder to overcome marital issues that can be normal in marriages and having that sense of duty to another person. Let’s also remember capitalism benefits through these now normal “stigmatized” situations too. The video mentioned social media and fast culture, and I too believe too many people chase attention and the “feel good” feelings that come with the start of an initial relationship, that they could end up chasing their infatuations and not necessarily love itself if that makes sense. I think people need to relearn the reason why we get married in the first place before it is done just for love. There are other factors to consider before marrying a person, and the person you love could still end up being the wrong one too. There’s just so much to unpack with this topic its too much for a comment section😅
I love me some Shera Seven! People don’t like her approach but she’s saving women’s lives, specifically women of color who’ve been subjected to all kinds of mistreatment because no woman has had the confidence to tell us the truth. Don’t make women to blame for finding a way to make it in a patriarchal system. This video should talk more about impoverished single mothers and women who’ve lost themselves from engaging with men that can offer them nothing. There’s no such thing as a woman engaging in transactional love, because we are the love. We are the emotions within a relationship, and calling it transactional is just a way to shift the focus from women’s empowerment to guilting women for asking for what they materially want and need. You do NOT need to give up your body to receive anything, the only reason men resort to expecting that is because they think you can be bought. And even if it is “sex work”, what do you call women who are giving themselves away for free?
Thank you very much. She says things that our mothers don't say. She loves her husband she's said so many times, Why wouldn't she love someone who made it easier for her to be a woman??😂 people are just trying to make her look bad
Exactly...!!!
No! She is teaching you to manipulate people. That is destroying you!
I mean the larger point that’s unspoken is the simple fact that a man is not a financial plan which is what shera promotes. Things are hard I get it but the answer isn’t to teach women to be dependent on men.
If we’re in relationships solely for the financial benefits then how different are we from our grandmothers who were stuck in horrible marriages bc they didn’t have their own.
I love me some shera
Incredible video!
I find it hard to express my critiques on sex work for fear of sounding "regressive," but your video has given me more confidence in my opinions. Here are some things I liked:
• How you quoted a Bible verse in the intro but did not use religion as a basis for your stance.
• How Shera's content is not entirely denounced, and how you delve into why Shera views love as transactional. (As they say, don't hate the player, hate the game.)
• The use of the term "Transactional Love." Rather than shaming sex workers, you talk about the emptiness that accompanies these activities. As humans, we yearn for love, but incentivized sex creates a barrier to mutual respect between both parties.
• How you hold influencers accountable for not being transparent about their work.
• Your quote at 20:20
I think this video can be great at reaching an audience that may not initially agree with you. So many people discuss the "morality" of sex work while refusing to see sex workers for what they are: human. These well-crafted pieces really do mean a lot to us like-minded women. Keep up the great work!
I’m ngl, I think this is a very social media centric problem. In my own experience, the people I know want fulfilling relationships and they want to make money based off of their education (not to devalue sex work but I just don’t think it’s for everyone). Maybe it’s just the people I choose to associate with? But I feel like most of the people I encounter in my day to day are decent and honest and just trying to survive in our janky economy.
I’m a certified Dating, Relationship, Marriage and Healing coach that is the complete opposite of what is being sold on Social Media! I agree that a lot of coaches (especially female coaches) only speak from their point of view and are giving advice that isn’t personalized but more generalized and focused based on their own experiences so this is why it isn’t helpful to many Women❤
However, based off of my own data, a lot of Women run to tiktok or ig to compare their love life to others and then make it their own story when in reality it isn’t their OWN story.
I’ve heard this so many times in my sessions, even with married women who have gotten married for all the wrong reasons---> MONEY and now realizing within my sessions that there’s more to their husband than just financial support/stability❤ Thank you for talking about this! Absolutely love your channel 💯
Thank you for making this video and being honest. I pray for all of these young women, if can get very dangerous and have long term effects. I don’t agree that the lifestyle is “ok” but I see your point.
The purpose of marriage also varies between culture. Some date for love but there’s also plenty that do it financial stability. And quite frankly, financial struggles often leads to the downfall of marriages regardless of the amount of love yall have. Why? Financial struggles is linked to mental and physical health issues that will ultimately impact your relationship. People need to stop acting dense saying “money isn’t important” or “love is all you need”. Love is important. But so is money. You need to look for both.
Also let’s not fault women for finding a way to monetarily benefit from a culture that seeks to exploit them anyway. If it’s not for you, it’s not for you. But if love ain’t their priority, they’re not stressing it. Sugaring is transactional and everyone involved knows it. They are grown.
I agree with you on the glorification of all of this to be a problem. S*x work is not easy and it can be dangerous. People need to stop overlooking that.
All truth. Idk why these people keep lying lol I’ve seen several seemingly great relationships and marriages fail due to money issues. Usually, the woman is carrying the weight of everything and gets tired.
This video isn't about marriage.
When it's proving that men can't love, they might care about you, bu not love you, so why should women invest their times in loving only?.all marriage are transactional
Know GOD, Know LOVE.
No God... Then no love.
Amen 🙏🏾
Yesssss. There is no true love without him
God preaches that women should wait till marriage and that are supposed to provide for their women.
Humans are not God. So humans need to stop talking about love as if it came from humanity. Nah. It came from God. So that means it's outside of this world.
We love a god fearing Queen don’t let anyone try to stop from sharing a verse of the day at the beginning of your videos
there is a HUGE issue surrounding xes work in the united states. People think this is all that xes work is, when the reality is the trade is ruining SO MANY young womens lives especially in SEA. None of this should ever be promoted, glorified, or sought after. It's so heartbreaking hearing stories of people who were forced into this lifestyle because of poverty or other conditions, and who have feared for their safety throughout that process and even after they leave the trade. It's horrifying and the US lives in such a bubble that women don't believe there could be anything wrong with promoting a lifestyle that's so harmful to young women. Disgusted by this trend and I hope more people come around to your sentiments.
As a man, I enjoy this video, so much truth 🙌. I hope these young women truly hear this message.
I can’t like this video enough 👏🏻 Everything that so desperately needs to be said!
I was a dancer off and on for a few years it opened a can of worms in my life ended in me being trafficked. I grew up in poverty and many times as a young girl and women I felt that only my body had value I started around 18/19 and fully removed myself from the lifestyle at 24 many times I was disrespected taken advantage of by men and women and ‘friends’. A certain moment plays back in my head all the time when another dancer at the club I was then waitressing at told me she would never promote the job or anyone to work there. They always cut the waitresses hours and encourage you to become a dancer I know it’s not the same story for everyone and at the time in my life I don’t think I could have made it ‘on my own’ without working at the club and having sugar daddies but I really regret those years I won’t ever get them back and I can’t change back to who I used to be. I’m jaded now and maybe forever by so many aspects of this lifestyle..
Thank you so much for this video! I’m so tired of being brainwashed into thinking love is only possible if you have money. Like bro let me liveeeee
I think modern women that have this transactional mindset have TRIED to date men in their tax bracket, and been incredibly disappointed. Leaving a Situationship or a relationship with nothing but wasted time and energy. I look at it as a form of women empowerment… not sex work. What would you call the woman who are hooking up on a first date then??
I agree
If you think this is women empowerment then you are a lost child
Exactly. Men will get MAD when you deny them sex just because they've paid for a meal.
Also there's husbands who think they're entitled to sex 24/7 just because they pay bills (not even all)
Ask a man "online" if he's ok with sleeping with his wife even when she doesn't want to and he'll say yes because he also works when he doesn't want to. What kinda comparison is that?
I hate to say it but finding out I was lied to by a bf who funded my whole lifestyle, gave me 7000k per month, left me with a 20 000k savings & all bills paid did not sting as badly as if I just waisted my time with a brokie.
I lowkey agree with this. I’ve been similar situations where I’m with a man who doesn’t have it all, isn’t fit, isn’t making 6 figures, etc etc. I didn’t end up with a ring, or a thank you, or a title. I was told “I want to explore my options” or left in the dust when they went to the woman they really wanted.
At 12:18 when you mentioned that thing about us being by in a loveless society. Matthew 24:12 popped into my head. “The love of many will grow cold” - this was one of the signs of the end times. Crazy how slowly but surely the signs of the end times are becoming more evident in our society……. Crazy huh…
People lack faith, morals, and values now a days and we are seeing the repercussions of it.
“Told me I’m so worldly for a 21 year old” had me sooo scared for this girl. I actually got chills up and down my whole body when I heard that.
AHHHHHHHHHHH I FEEL LIKE U JUST HIT 100K! U R FLYING MISS TONI! ROAD TO 500K BY SUMMER! WHOOHOO! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
Girl it’s crazy😭 beyond blessed and thankful!! I’m manifesting right with you!
You look amazing ❤ love the makeup look
Thank you boo!!❤️
@@ToniBryanneTVtake that shit off 😂
@@familyguyshorts3506leave her alone 😂
Dang. Loved your take. I agree 💯. It’s been a loveless society for as long as I’ve been alive. I grew up a hopeless romantic and slowly learned to be more transactional. I wish it wasn’t this way but success is success. I might not ever get love but I will always have someone by my side if I can afford it.
Ya'll, off topic, but I was at the dentist with my dad. There was a girl around the age of 8 or 9 behind me, her mother said sm along the lines of "I found a cup for u, it's made of steel, but it isn't a/the Stanley", and the girl sounds/sounded so disappointed, and she said "It isn't a Stanley...?/Not a Stanley...?" 😭
YA'LL.
✨ “Sparkle/Sprinkle, sparkle/sprinkle.” ✨
All relationships are transactional, but we definitely need nuance in this world. Honestly we need self love and self esteem in this world, everyone is so insecure and have gutter esteem levels so we just say yes to whatever and do whatever. We take the worst advice because in our heads, anything is better than being alone (i use our and we loosely…I’m not a part of that lol) love can be found in many forms beyond romance and we put too much into romantic relationships instead of just love between individuals. Whether it be familial or platonic, those are equally valuable (and transactional in different ways) all in all, we need to love ourselves and have standards, expectations, and boundaries
That's not true! Relationship is about doing for the one you kove out of being genuinely in love with them. Without doing trying to get something out of people.
finally someone spoke on shera. she gives off all these crazy toxic advice and people are praising her instead of waking up on her. thank you for spreading the awareness!
I love these girlie chats 💗
The discourse is needed on both ends so one can create a balanced perspective. There will never be a monolithic view on these topics, that’s the beauty of living. But many women will come to understand through experience, the best place to be is in a state of peace. You can have your standards but never compromise your peace.
As a man, men need to stop cheating on they wives. You mess with the wrong woman, who finds out, capitalizes on it, and teaches a whole generation of women to do the same.
Y'all make it difficult for a brother to get a decent date 😂😂😂😂
Women, if he lied about having someone else, don't entertain it and say all men are cheaters. And remember, loud voices on the internet doesn't reflect all the problems and nuances in society.
Awesome vid
W man
oh i’ve been WAITING for this one
Yayyyy for 200k 🎉🎉🎉🎉!
So excited for your channel.
❤ Best Blessings to you!
I love watching you and your vids but I would have to disagree with the shera part because I feel like her main message is men can ask for sex but as women we can’t ask for money now we r the bad guys? It’s just not fair
Hey love, thank you for your support! I said I agree with a lot of things Shera says, but she still believes in strictly transactional love. I think love can be deeper than just being with a rich man.
@@ToniBryanneTVto keep it real with you, this isn’t anything new. Relationships have been transactional quite literally since the beginning of time lmao. Like even in biblical times. If anything I feel we’ve moved away from transactional love for awhile, and now it’s being slightly popularized again I believe bc of capitalism and the economy. But hey what do I know.
@@RockyR true, but were most of those women truly happy? I’ve heard the latter…
@@ToniBryanneTV more than likely they weren’t. But the closer I get to 30, I see everything is not so black and white. You can make a man having money a first priority and then still choose him for his character as well. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. Is it a bit transactional? Sure. However so are these traditional relationships men want🤷🏽♀️
@@RockyR oh financial stability is top of the list, but being actually happy with who he is as a person is just as important