1:40 the fact that as soon as he gave her that hug and told her she wasnt in trouble she calmed down and they could talk and understand each other!! top 10 reasons gentle parenting should be mainstream
6:21 I was raised with a bitter iron fist for the entirety of my middle school and highschool years, all I can do is buckle under the pressure rude/demanding/domineering adults. I can barely relay my needs if I feel like the other person will take offense or get upset with me. I say barely because I have gotten much better at looking out for myself. I’ve been bred to comply, not respect.
4:55 i worked for a severely intellectually disabled lady who, when she was younger, the residential facility she lived in would pin her down and put a BAG over her head when she got upset, like? i wonder WHY that didn't work??!
So in one these videos I wont say which one but they said that when kids get older you need to be less involved. No don’t do that, when a child gets older into teenage hood, there gonna be confused, they wont figure it out with out your help. So no don’t be so on top of them to were they don’t have space, but don’t be so far apart that they have to figure our everything
I used to work with at risk kids and one day I was up to here with this kid being so bad. Their therapist told me something I never forgot...she said. Try to remember that as hard as it is to put up with her, it's probably much harder to be her.
Okay question about the part at about 09:20. If the child would be screaming because they want a cookie but mom said no, it would be gentle parenting if mom were to say, hey i know it sucks but were having dinner in a minute as to permissive parenting would be like, here is the cookie now shut up, right?
I follow gentle parenting as close as I can (I also have a ton of formal and direct professional experience), and I would do the first one. However I would add on to tell them they can have the cookie after dinner or during (nutritionists recommend serving dessert WITH dinner, when you are having it). Or even if they really REALLY wanted a cookie, I’d break off a small piece as a compromise, but not enough to spoil dinner.
I never treated dessert like it was more special. My daughter will eat sweets as if they are equal to anything else. This never caused issues either. Sometimes I will ask if she wants a cookie or or broccoli to snack on and you'd be surprised how often she chooses a vegetable over a sweet.
Yes but i think in that one the issue wasn't the kid wanting the cookie and the mom not letting yhem have one, they had just screamed to get attention and ask for a cookie
You need a therapist for a three year old, you lost me. My kids are older, and I never needed a therapist to figure out such simple concepts about raising children.
3:51 I mean it's kind of reasonable why parents do this. Most children don't understand or don't care about how some food can be bad for them, and ngl it's bad parenting to just let them eat whatever they want all the time.
The point isn't to let them eat everything all the time. It's giving them alternatives, treating them with respect by telling them why instead of 'its MY house'. Helping them gain healthy relationships with food by teaching them it's okay to eat a little when you are hungry, because they should be allowed some level of bodily autonomy. That video in particular is just making the point that 'Because I said so!' is rude and treats a child like they aren't a thinking person. The point of being a parent it to teach, not just rigidly enforce in a way the child doesn't understand.
Not really the point. "Because I said so" is not a reason. If you don't want your kid eating sweets all the time, when they ask for chocolate, say "Not right now, because we can't eat sweets all the time. It could make you sick." "Because I said so", "It's my house, so it's my rules", etc. are B.S. excuses used by parents who want to control, not to help. 👍
Tbh the "my house my rules" is fair enough... you may live there too, but your parents still own the place. Ofc rules have to be reasonable, though. Btw kinda creepy to imagine your child and your sexual partner in the same position...
"My houses my rules" is not fair enough. The whole point of gentle parenting is to teach kids communication skills and emotional strategies that will help them in adulthood. Accepting authority just because, even when the demand makes no sense to you, is not healthy. Of course you can set rules for your kids, but the point is that you EXPLAIN those rules to them. "The reason why we can't have chocolate right now is because it's not healthy to eat too much chocolate, and you already had some yesterday. Would you like a strawberry for a snack instead?" "I understand that you're frustrated. The reason why you can't hit me is because it hurts and it is dangerous. I won't let you hurt me. How about you hit this soft teddy if you need to hit?" "The reason why it's bedtime is because if you don't get enough sleep, you will be too sleepy to play tomorrow. Would you like me read you a story, or do you want to bring your teddy to bed with you?" There's a difference between being gentle and being permissive. A permissive parent lets their kids do whatever they like. But the difference between reactive parenting and gentle parenting is showing your kid respect as a person so that they grow up to expect that same respect and know how to give it to other people. Giving your kids reasonable choices. And, like I said, explaining the reasons behind rules to your kids so that they trust your judgement and also learn healthy habits in the process. Instead of using threats, fear and "my house my rules" to control your child, communicate to them firmly but calmly what the boundaries and rules of the household are.
"but your parents still own the place" that's parents treating their kids like hostages, that just because they're under your thumb you force them to obey to your rules without any explanation or compromise
That garbage was difficult to watch without vomiting. People who don't have a clue about parenting trying to teach others who don't have a clue about parenting.
1:40 the fact that as soon as he gave her that hug and told her she wasnt in trouble she calmed down and they could talk and understand each other!! top 10 reasons gentle parenting should be mainstream
I’m so proud of that dad, and happy for that little one that she has him.
A good watch on how bad parents are made th-cam.com/video/vdwR6sVRulk/w-d-xo.html
This is really needed because when I was younger I was crying in target and some random person screamed “BEAT HER ASS!”
Hurt people hurt people. I think we need to make sure we heal ourselves or we risk projecting our wounds onto our children.
6:21
I was raised with a bitter iron fist for the entirety of my middle school and highschool years, all I can do is buckle under the pressure rude/demanding/domineering adults. I can barely relay my needs if I feel like the other person will take offense or get upset with me. I say barely because I have gotten much better at looking out for myself.
I’ve been bred to comply, not respect.
@chikin luvver it sucks that you went through that crap! I highly recommend getting therapy if you can afford it and haven't already.
@@donnyshields4450 I have my own insurance now actually, finding a therapist is on my to-do list :)
@chikin luvver Awesome! Good for you!
Got the shit beat outta me as a kid for things I didn’t even do. And now I’m almost 30 learning to set boundaries and ask for help
4:55 i worked for a severely intellectually disabled lady who, when she was younger, the residential facility she lived in would pin her down and put a BAG over her head when she got upset, like? i wonder WHY that didn't work??!
This is beautiful
So in one these videos I wont say which one but they said that when kids get older you need to be less involved. No don’t do that, when a child gets older into teenage hood, there gonna be confused, they wont figure it out with out your help. So no don’t be so on top of them to were they don’t have space, but don’t be so far apart that they have to figure our everything
A good watch on how bad parents are made th-cam.com/video/vdwR6sVRulk/w-d-xo.html
I think it meant that you want them to be as independent as possible, but still be there for them when they need help or guidance.
I used to work with at risk kids and one day I was up to here with this kid being so bad. Their therapist told me something I never forgot...she said. Try to remember that as hard as it is to put up with her, it's probably much harder to be her.
Love this ♥️♥️
Okay question about the part at about 09:20.
If the child would be screaming because they want a cookie but mom said no, it would be gentle parenting if mom were to say, hey i know it sucks but were having dinner in a minute as to permissive parenting would be like, here is the cookie now shut up, right?
I follow gentle parenting as close as I can (I also have a ton of formal and direct professional experience), and I would do the first one. However I would add on to tell them they can have the cookie after dinner or during (nutritionists recommend serving dessert WITH dinner, when you are having it). Or even if they really REALLY wanted a cookie, I’d break off a small piece as a compromise, but not enough to spoil dinner.
I never treated dessert like it was more special. My daughter will eat sweets as if they are equal to anything else. This never caused issues either. Sometimes I will ask if she wants a cookie or or broccoli to snack on and you'd be surprised how often she chooses a vegetable over a sweet.
Yes but i think in that one the issue wasn't the kid wanting the cookie and the mom not letting yhem have one, they had just screamed to get attention and ask for a cookie
Great videos!
Love this so much u make great content 👌❤️
These are so good ❤️
You need a therapist for a three year old, you lost me. My kids are older, and I never needed a therapist to figure out such simple concepts about raising children.
That what at 4:13 was so real
3:51 I mean it's kind of reasonable why parents do this. Most children don't understand or don't care about how some food can be bad for them, and ngl it's bad parenting to just let them eat whatever they want all the time.
The point isn't to let them eat everything all the time. It's giving them alternatives, treating them with respect by telling them why instead of 'its MY house'. Helping them gain healthy relationships with food by teaching them it's okay to eat a little when you are hungry, because they should be allowed some level of bodily autonomy. That video in particular is just making the point that 'Because I said so!' is rude and treats a child like they aren't a thinking person. The point of being a parent it to teach, not just rigidly enforce in a way the child doesn't understand.
Not really the point. "Because I said so" is not a reason. If you don't want your kid eating sweets all the time, when they ask for chocolate, say "Not right now, because we can't eat sweets all the time. It could make you sick." "Because I said so", "It's my house, so it's my rules", etc. are B.S. excuses used by parents who want to control, not to help. 👍
These videos really upset older folks ik LMAOOO
Tbh the "my house my rules" is fair enough... you may live there too, but your parents still own the place. Ofc rules have to be reasonable, though.
Btw kinda creepy to imagine your child and your sexual partner in the same position...
They are saying to see them as humans that deserve respect- are children not human too?
"My houses my rules" is not fair enough. The whole point of gentle parenting is to teach kids communication skills and emotional strategies that will help them in adulthood. Accepting authority just because, even when the demand makes no sense to you, is not healthy.
Of course you can set rules for your kids, but the point is that you EXPLAIN those rules to them.
"The reason why we can't have chocolate right now is because it's not healthy to eat too much chocolate, and you already had some yesterday. Would you like a strawberry for a snack instead?"
"I understand that you're frustrated. The reason why you can't hit me is because it hurts and it is dangerous. I won't let you hurt me. How about you hit this soft teddy if you need to hit?"
"The reason why it's bedtime is because if you don't get enough sleep, you will be too sleepy to play tomorrow. Would you like me read you a story, or do you want to bring your teddy to bed with you?"
There's a difference between being gentle and being permissive. A permissive parent lets their kids do whatever they like. But the difference between reactive parenting and gentle parenting is showing your kid respect as a person so that they grow up to expect that same respect and know how to give it to other people. Giving your kids reasonable choices. And, like I said, explaining the reasons behind rules to your kids so that they trust your judgement and also learn healthy habits in the process. Instead of using threats, fear and "my house my rules" to control your child, communicate to them firmly but calmly what the boundaries and rules of the household are.
"but your parents still own the place" that's parents treating their kids like hostages, that just because they're under your thumb you force them to obey to your rules without any explanation or compromise
That garbage was difficult to watch without vomiting. People who don't have a clue about parenting trying to teach others who don't have a clue about parenting.
Bruh... they're parents themselves. Do YOU have any children?