The one about not forcing food on your kids is amazing! My parents used to say, “if you don’t eat now, you don’t eat at all” and my sister (she is 7 now) sometimes isn’t hungry, then later when it’s bedtime, will tell my mom she’s hungry, and my mom will deny her food! Like, actually not allow her to eat.
My parents used to make us (me and my older sibling- my younger brother never had consequences) stay at the table until we ate everything and if we didn’t we’d have to stay there for hours and she’d come back every so often and we’d be crying at the table and couldn’t leave. And if we dropped food we were told we’d have to eat it off the floor-.
@@boba.oclock5914 omg I’m so sorry! My parents used to make us not be able to leave till we ate all of the food, but my sibling got a binge eating disorder from it. It was horrible. They r doing better now
jesus christ that's crazy! I don't eat brekfast until 11, lunch until 3-5, and dinner until 9-10, sometimes I just skip and I'M GROWN. omg, I hope you guys are ok!
If I want my son to do something regularly, the best way to get him to do it is to do it myself. If I would love for him to start knocking before entering a room then I need to also respect that boundary with him and knock before entering.
Something that goes wildly overlooked is the predicament of putting away your clean laundry. If I don’t want to fold all of my shirts before I put them in the drawer, so be it, I’ll do what’s most practical for me. What most parents do is they’ll force their kids to fold every single piece of clothing, which can take a very long time. And “It doesn’t take that long” is a stupid argument, because you’ve been folding laundry 30 years longer than I have.
The hamper baby is so cute. Same thing with Jonah playing with the screw driver. It's so interesting watching children grow and develop. No one asks kids why they do the things they do or let them explore actions like throwing, climbing, pouring, screwdrivering The more I watch this the more I realize how great of a choice I've made in picking my major
Private spaces are crucial for feeling safe in your own home. I was a teenager when I finally stopped my mum from following me into my room during a fight. I put a chain lock on the door and didn't tell her. She almost took the chain clean out of the wall the day she discovered it was there. And she never tried to follow me into my room during a fight again. If parents don't set boundaries for themselves, strong-willed children will eventually set the boundaries for them. It took almost 3 years for me to feel like my room was truly a safe space to go cool down, and the chain lock didn't come down until we moved. I love my mum, and still have a good relationship with her, but I wish I hadn't had to set a boundary for her that related to my feeling safe. DO NOT enter without permission. They might be changing. They might have fallen asleep. They might be screaming into their pillow. In any event, allow them a place where they can feel safe, even from you.
Omg so off topic, but the one about not jumping in on your spouse! Omg my non-binary heart when she said, “your husband, or wife, or spouse” It gives me so much euphoria omg!
im 15 and only in this past year have my parents started knocking on my door AND actually waiting for a response and it only happened because since my doorknob broke, (it was 20 years old), i cant lock my door. so i was changing, my dad opened my door and i screamed that i was FUCKIN CHANGING. and he was like "oh dang sorry why are you so mad chill" and then i yelled and kicked my door lmao it worked but its sad that i had to get aggressive in order to get privacy after 5+ years of begging my parents to knock and ask before entering my room
At what age do your children become humans to you that you treat with respect? Or do they not? - in my childhood home not until one is married... and even then not if we make different decisions that differ with my father's opinions. (Or it's based on income) Not a parent yet but I hope if I become one in the future I will do better.
Imagine if your landlord or the guy running the hotel or your airbnb host could just pop in unannounced bc "well its _my_ space." We'd be FURIOUS! We'd wanna sue them. Kids really just don't matter to some people at all
Ummm... that not forcing food wouldn’t have worked on me 😂 I hated the texture of food, chewing, and swallowing when I was little. No I wasn’t anorexic, I just had tactile issues. My mom had to literally beg me to eat just one more bite lol
I feel that it is a more extreme situation than what that mom was describing. That sounds a little bit like childhood ARFID tbh, which is a completely different beast.
@@charissadubin9355 lol I have congenital heart disease and feeding problems are one of common symptoms! For my case, I had negative association with eating food and not feeling good (because stomach pushes up your heart when you’re full and that made me feel uncomfortable 😂), which lead me to hate the feel of food in my mouth. But once puberty hit I started eating like an elephant and I’m now at a healthy weight!
@@Willow._.tree. no i didnt i said pretty much what you did i said the can talk yes but they need help understanding that the can use there words to express feeling and dont need to use screaming anymore thats the part they dont get yet so like we need to tell them
@@Themakeupchair15 yes, BUT THEY HAVENT DEVELOPED so it’s not reasonable to get mad at them for screaming. No amount of teaching could make the Ava rage child’s mind develop faster
@@Willow._.tree. i have not once said yell at them i am not on the comments side at all im on the videos side im just adding to her b saying w can help them by saying i see you are upset can you use your word and help me understand you feelings
Hey I was wondering if someone could help me with this little issue I’ve been having. I am not a parent, but I have a 3 year old half sister. For some background, my parents are divorced and have always been. They are not gentle parents but regardless they never did anything very wrongs as I’ve grown up well behaved. However, my half sister seems to be struggling a bit and while she does get on my nerves and frustrate me for reasons I will not share I feel like there is something else I should be doing. I think at first my step mom tried to be a gentle parent, but it went very poorly. In the very begging my little sister practically could get away with anything she wanted with no consequences. Eventually, my dad started to become more harsh, and while it has “helped” and I do think she could be better behaved it still feels wrong to watch him yell at a 3 year old. They are always telling her how if she doesn’t calm down and behave they will take away her screens or fruit snacks or other things. I feel like it’s very counterproductive to be yelling her to quiet down and behave when my dad will compare her to me at that age and say how he always got me to use my words. Even though she’s not my child, I feel like as her big sister there is something I could be doing to help. Anyone have any suggestions?
Get her involved in you modeling appropriate behavior. If your parents are telling her to calm down, you could say something like, "can you take 3 deep breaths with me? Let's count them!" and take deep breaths with her. If your parents are trying to get her to sit down and eat dinner, you could say "why don't you sit next to me and we'll see who can fit more peas on their spoon?". You could try phrases like "what could I do to help you behave or feel, (depends on the issue) better?", but that depends on your sister's mood at the time, communication, and comprehension. If your dad is getting to be too much with her, you could even try to calm him down. You could say "dad, you seem like you're at the end of your rope. Do you want to go for a walk while sister and I do somersaults in the livingroom, and you can talk to her about her behavior in 15 minutes, once you're both calmer?". It's important to remember that, as you are not her parent, you probably won't be able to change her behavior yourself, but you can help manage it, and help your parents manage it. It's hard to run around screaming when you're too tired from playing tag with your big sister. Not being the parent also means you can bargain with your sister for her behavior. "If you put your shoes on, I'll give you a piggy back ride to the car."
Yes! But that is a conversation to have with your co parent later on, you don’t want to undermine their parenting and send the message to your child that you are the boss of the other parent.
@@angelicabianca631 Totally agree. Once the spouse has helped the child overcome that difficulty ask if they have time to talk but don't corner them straight away. I agree that they have to co-parent but they could have the same boundaries and results however the path is different. The child will still have stability they will just think "Oh this parent has this way and the other parent has another way" I beleive that it teaches the kids how there are many was to get to the place you want to go.
Im not a parent, or an adult but my advice is try and think about why she wants you to go to conselling. Maybe she's worried about you or maybe she had a hard time going through life at your age so she thinks it will help. Maybe go for the first two sessions and if it hasnt helped your life sit your mum down and ask her why she wanted you to go to counselling, why it hasn't work and maybe what you do need from her. If your open about it maybe your mum will respect your decision more. Good luck!
Here's my advice: Moms tend to see little issues before we can. Maybe its for the better. What's something you don't like about therapy? Maybe I can help.
@@hyperactived0ll It just doesn’t help me, I’m an introvert and do not like talking when I don’t need to, i don’t have any issues rn and the reason why she’s making me go is because of something that happened YEARS ago. It takes up my time, it stresses me out more than it helps me
1:10 me and my siblings Abuse each other emotionally and physically (hit each other) I just turned 14 my brother just turned 12 and my sister is almost 16...My sister Is the only one who's sexually abusive and it's gone too far and I want us all to stop but my parents don't give a rats tail so it's difficult especially since I'm the only one that seems like I want to stop. What am I supposed to do??
We've had social services here multiple times but they keep saying everything seems fine. (They came to make sure we were ok after our parents medical problems not abuse or neglect) 😮💨
@@siobhan_bradleyxoxo You should tell a trusted adult at school. ❤️ Tell them what is happening. I understand you may love your family, and that’s a normal feeling, but it is NOT ok for your siblings to hurt you and your safety is the most important thing. Social services might do a more thorough investigation. No matter what, it’s the only way to get it to stop. Your sister is old enough to know what she is doing is wrong, and if she harms you, there could be other children you don’t know about who she is harming.
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Thank you for watching!
The little one with the hamper was absolutely adorable
The one about not forcing food on your kids is amazing!
My parents used to say, “if you don’t eat now, you don’t eat at all” and my sister (she is 7 now) sometimes isn’t hungry, then later when it’s bedtime, will tell my mom she’s hungry, and my mom will deny her food! Like, actually not allow her to eat.
My parents used to make us (me and my older sibling- my younger brother never had consequences) stay at the table until we ate everything and if we didn’t we’d have to stay there for hours and she’d come back every so often and we’d be crying at the table and couldn’t leave. And if we dropped food we were told we’d have to eat it off the floor-.
@@boba.oclock5914 omg I’m so sorry! My parents used to make us not be able to leave till we ate all of the food, but my sibling got a binge eating disorder from it. It was horrible. They r doing better now
I want her account or her name if you know
Same.......
jesus christ that's crazy! I don't eat brekfast until 11, lunch until 3-5, and dinner until 9-10, sometimes I just skip and I'M GROWN. omg, I hope you guys are ok!
If I want my son to do something regularly, the best way to get him to do it is to do it myself. If I would love for him to start knocking before entering a room then I need to also respect that boundary with him and knock before entering.
Something that goes wildly overlooked is the predicament of putting away your clean laundry. If I don’t want to fold all of my shirts before I put them in the drawer, so be it, I’ll do what’s most practical for me. What most parents do is they’ll force their kids to fold every single piece of clothing, which can take a very long time. And “It doesn’t take that long” is a stupid argument, because you’ve been folding laundry 30 years longer than I have.
I love that the first video says 'I want to create an army of cycle breakers' yass
I am 30. I moved in with my folks during the pandemic. My mother knocks once and just walks in. Again. I am 30.
The hamper baby is so cute. Same thing with Jonah playing with the screw driver. It's so interesting watching children grow and develop. No one asks kids why they do the things they do or let them explore actions like throwing, climbing, pouring, screwdrivering
The more I watch this the more I realize how great of a choice I've made in picking my major
Private spaces are crucial for feeling safe in your own home. I was a teenager when I finally stopped my mum from following me into my room during a fight. I put a chain lock on the door and didn't tell her. She almost took the chain clean out of the wall the day she discovered it was there. And she never tried to follow me into my room during a fight again. If parents don't set boundaries for themselves, strong-willed children will eventually set the boundaries for them. It took almost 3 years for me to feel like my room was truly a safe space to go cool down, and the chain lock didn't come down until we moved. I love my mum, and still have a good relationship with her, but I wish I hadn't had to set a boundary for her that related to my feeling safe.
DO NOT enter without permission. They might be changing. They might have fallen asleep. They might be screaming into their pillow. In any event, allow them a place where they can feel safe, even from you.
Somehow this has become my therapy
Omg so off topic, but the one about not jumping in on your spouse!
Omg my non-binary heart when she said, “your husband, or wife, or spouse”
It gives me so much euphoria omg!
Yeeeees
Same!!!!
SAME I LITERALLY HAPPY STIMMED
@@saturn5063 SAME ND fam!
im 15 and only in this past year have my parents started knocking on my door AND actually waiting for a response
and it only happened because since my doorknob broke, (it was 20 years old), i cant lock my door. so i was changing, my dad opened my door and i screamed that i was FUCKIN CHANGING. and he was like "oh dang sorry why are you so mad chill" and then i yelled and kicked my door lmao
it worked but its sad that i had to get aggressive in order to get privacy after 5+ years of begging my parents to knock and ask before entering my room
The last one it never happens according to my dad. I wish I had one of these parents
At what age do your children become humans to you that you treat with respect? Or do they not? - in my childhood home not until one is married... and even then not if we make different decisions that differ with my father's opinions. (Or it's based on income) Not a parent yet but I hope if I become one in the future I will do better.
Imagine if your landlord or the guy running the hotel or your airbnb host could just pop in unannounced bc "well its _my_ space." We'd be FURIOUS! We'd wanna sue them. Kids really just don't matter to some people at all
bro im not even 5 but i get random impulses to scream lol
Are you under the age of 25?
Bah what’s a mom knocking on a door I’m not sure I fully understand that one🤣🤣🤣
Ummm... that not forcing food wouldn’t have worked on me 😂 I hated the texture of food, chewing, and swallowing when I was little. No I wasn’t anorexic, I just had tactile issues. My mom had to literally beg me to eat just one more bite lol
I feel that it is a more extreme situation than what that mom was describing. That sounds a little bit like childhood ARFID tbh, which is a completely different beast.
Having sensory issues with food can be a strong sign of autism.
@@charissadubin9355 lol I have congenital heart disease and feeding problems are one of common symptoms! For my case, I had negative association with eating food and not feeling good (because stomach pushes up your heart when you’re full and that made me feel uncomfortable 😂), which lead me to hate the feel of food in my mouth. But once puberty hit I started eating like an elephant and I’m now at a healthy weight!
I have autism and had sensory issues like yours with my food when I was younger.
Yes an infant csnt talk so they can scream when they can talk teach them they can talk
They know they can talk, but they haven’t finished developing to where they know to only talk. You missed the whole goddamn point of the video
@@Willow._.tree. no i didnt i said pretty much what you did i said the can talk yes but they need help understanding that the can use there words to express feeling and dont need to use screaming anymore thats the part they dont get yet so like we need to tell them
@@Themakeupchair15 yes, BUT THEY HAVENT DEVELOPED so it’s not reasonable to get mad at them for screaming. No amount of teaching could make the Ava rage child’s mind develop faster
@@Willow._.tree. i have not once said yell at them i am not on the comments side at all im on the videos side im just adding to her b saying w can help them by saying i see you are upset can you use your word and help me understand you feelings
@@Willow._.tree. its nit getting mad at i have seen many of these videos and that is actually the exact thing these people do
Hey I was wondering if someone could help me with this little issue I’ve been having. I am not a parent, but I have a 3 year old half sister. For some background, my parents are divorced and have always been. They are not gentle parents but regardless they never did anything very wrongs as I’ve grown up well behaved. However, my half sister seems to be struggling a bit and while she does get on my nerves and frustrate me for reasons I will not share I feel like there is something else I should be doing. I think at first my step mom tried to be a gentle parent, but it went very poorly. In the very begging my little sister practically could get away with anything she wanted with no consequences. Eventually, my dad started to become more harsh, and while it has “helped” and I do think she could be better behaved it still feels wrong to watch him yell at a 3 year old. They are always telling her how if she doesn’t calm down and behave they will take away her screens or fruit snacks or other things. I feel like it’s very counterproductive to be yelling her to quiet down and behave when my dad will compare her to me at that age and say how he always got me to use my words. Even though she’s not my child, I feel like as her big sister there is something I could be doing to help. Anyone have any suggestions?
Get her involved in you modeling appropriate behavior. If your parents are telling her to calm down, you could say something like, "can you take 3 deep breaths with me? Let's count them!" and take deep breaths with her. If your parents are trying to get her to sit down and eat dinner, you could say "why don't you sit next to me and we'll see who can fit more peas on their spoon?".
You could try phrases like "what could I do to help you behave or feel, (depends on the issue) better?", but that depends on your sister's mood at the time, communication, and comprehension.
If your dad is getting to be too much with her, you could even try to calm him down. You could say "dad, you seem like you're at the end of your rope. Do you want to go for a walk while sister and I do somersaults in the livingroom, and you can talk to her about her behavior in 15 minutes, once you're both calmer?".
It's important to remember that, as you are not her parent, you probably won't be able to change her behavior yourself, but you can help manage it, and help your parents manage it. It's hard to run around screaming when you're too tired from playing tag with your big sister. Not being the parent also means you can bargain with your sister for her behavior. "If you put your shoes on, I'll give you a piggy back ride to the car."
@@Br0nto5aurus thank you so much!
Miss Rachel !!!!
The don’t jump in on your spouse shouldn’t you be on the same page so thr child has Structure
Yes! But that is a conversation to have with your co parent later on, you don’t want to undermine their parenting and send the message to your child that you are the boss of the other parent.
@@angelicabianca631 Totally agree. Once the spouse has helped the child overcome that difficulty ask if they have time to talk but don't corner them straight away. I agree that they have to co-parent but they could have the same boundaries and results however the path is different. The child will still have stability they will just think "Oh this parent has this way and the other parent has another way" I beleive that it teaches the kids how there are many was to get to the place you want to go.
This is off topic, but my mom is making me go to counseling. I really don’t want to, Shes forcing me.
complain to the counselor about your mom forcing you to go to counseling
Im not a parent, or an adult but my advice is try and think about why she wants you to go to conselling. Maybe she's worried about you or maybe she had a hard time going through life at your age so she thinks it will help. Maybe go for the first two sessions and if it hasnt helped your life sit your mum down and ask her why she wanted you to go to counselling, why it hasn't work and maybe what you do need from her. If your open about it maybe your mum will respect your decision more. Good luck!
@@meghan5259 thank you for the advice! ❤️
Here's my advice: Moms tend to see little issues before we can. Maybe its for the better. What's something you don't like about therapy? Maybe I can help.
@@hyperactived0ll It just doesn’t help me, I’m an introvert and do not like talking when I don’t need to, i don’t have any issues rn and the reason why she’s making me go is because of something that happened YEARS ago. It takes up my time, it stresses me out more than it helps me
1:10 me and my siblings Abuse each other emotionally and physically (hit each other) I just turned 14 my brother just turned 12 and my sister is almost 16...My sister Is the only one who's sexually abusive and it's gone too far and I want us all to stop but my parents don't give a rats tail so it's difficult especially since I'm the only one that seems like I want to stop. What am I supposed to do??
We've had social services here multiple times but they keep saying everything seems fine. (They came to make sure we were ok after our parents medical problems not abuse or neglect) 😮💨
@@siobhan_bradleyxoxo You should tell a trusted adult at school. ❤️ Tell them what is happening. I understand you may love your family, and that’s a normal feeling, but it is NOT ok for your siblings to hurt you and your safety is the most important thing. Social services might do a more thorough investigation. No matter what, it’s the only way to get it to stop. Your sister is old enough to know what she is doing is wrong, and if she harms you, there could be other children you don’t know about who she is harming.
Hello! I know this was an old comment but I hope your situation is better. You got this!
How about don’t ask people in your TH-cam comments? That’s a start I’d say