I think it's really bad for me because my friends try to tell me of the fun stuff we did and I don't remember. I just realized recently and has happened twice and there is a video of me doing said activities. It felt like watching someone else's childhood.
Same thing but with family, it didn’t even went through my mind that my family was capable of doing Sunday’s family meetings, turns out they used to do it always until my aunt died whom I thought I never met but turns out we were best friends
Same here! It's so bizarre.. my best friends will tell me things and they're always like you don't remember?! I'm like ... no 😐 but I still love you ❤ 😭 I hate it
My childhood is a complete blank to me, it's all fuzzy. The only thing I can vaigly remember is my mum's perfume and crying. Alot of crying, I grew up in a domestic violence home. I don't remember anything from -9. I have MDD, and ADHD. along with social anxiety and self harm issues. I was so confused as to why I can't remember my childhood. This video really helped clearing things up! Ty
For real. I have very few memories of my childhood up through my late teens. Even my early adulthood is sometimes sketchy. I have to really focus in order to remember things, and it usually feels like there's a film over the memories. Like something in me doesn't want me to remember. Even the good times.
I completely and instantly forget arguments/conflict, except for the knowledge that I've had an argument and the feeling of being angry/sad/frustrated/anxious. For example, I remember I had a strong argument this january, I remember it hurt me a lot and still hurts me, but I don't know what I argued about, or any other detail surrounding the conflict. When I was a child, I could not defend myself from my father (he would get loud and scary, once he flipped a sofa over, once he caught me by the neck), I could only cry and I was mocked for it. I couldn't explain why I was hurt because "it would make him feel bad". Then I was encouraged to just "forgive and move on", and I can't bring out the few things I remember about the abuse because "I'm so resentful". I barely remember anything since I was a child until I was diagnosed with AVPD at 27 and started fixing myself and my life. I feel like my life truly started right then. Sorry, had to vent. Thank you for the video!
Ive experienced a similar childhood. It’s discouraging in my adult life when I do instantly forget my pov in arguments because it makes it seem like I’m making things up, when in reality I just can’t remember. I’m really good at remembering information I learn bc that was my default in childhood. To forget home life and submerge myself into other worlds. I’ve realized that I too have Avoidant personality disorder. I’m working on this part of me now. I’m thankful to see someone else relate to my experience. Thank you for sharing❤️
I'm a trauma therapist certified in Brainspotting. You are among my go-to resources. This video will give me more to explore and share with my clients. Thank you!
When I think of my memories of childhood, its like I'm watching a movie of someone else. Like I wasn't even there. I've felt like an onlooker of my own life for so long. Not feeling like I'm actually participating
I hope you look into parental alienation too. False memories can be implanted as well as it assumed that a child that doesn't remember something is because of disassociation. Where reality is they have been and are being gaslit into believing something happened that actually never occurred. Not all memory loss is disassociation
@@TherapistTamaraHill Thank you for taking the time to respond to me, i really appreciate it. Can you please make a video on how to escape a toxic family and mother.
@@TherapistTamaraHill please, please HELP me remember, I think my emotions and body are starting to remember but I cant I want to unali..... myself bc I can't remember and am scared of what will I remember
@@chaky2512I’m in the exact same boat with you. Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone! Idk how old you are or if you’re into music, but I’m 29 and have been listening to all the amazing music I loved in elementary/middle/high school. I feel music so deeply, and listening to this all is bringing back some feelings I had growing up. Not remembering, but feeling. It’s helping at least that part, and some of the songs that have the message to keep going no matter how dark this shit gets and I need that🫶🏼 we can do this, somehow
Sometimes we do block our memories out - because the trauma is so bad - and we don't realize it. Sometimes we have very "distant" memories of things that may only be triggered by certain things at certain times in our life.
@@TherapistTamaraHill I can’t remember things from 2021-22 also my concept of time is completely out of wack. 1 year can feel like 1 month. It’s really scary. Am I okay? I was severely anemic and had a traumatic family mental abuse experience coupled with a narc abuse relationship which was 2016-19 then 2020 pandemic hit and met a new narcissist then developed severe fibroids and had severe bleeding and anemia had to get 11 iron infusions. I think that May have been too much trauma for my brain to handle so I don’t remember things. And time went fast. I’ve completely isolated myself from friends and family as I believe them to be fake and toxic and I feel I’m protecting myself from them. What if I’m just going crazy? Or am I correct for blocking them because they really caused a lot of trauma with their emotional & mental abuse and I can’t really forgive them.
The thing is, i never thought about it before until i saw a reel on insta about not remembering childhood memories could be a defence mechanism by our brains to protect us , then it hit me , i don't remember anything! Like most of it is gone, i can't remember anything but i know i wasn't a happy child and i was constantly walking on eggshells. So recently, it's coming back at me, like in the most random way , i remember stuff that made me feel uneasy or uncomfortable as a kid , a smell , a pencil, recently anything can trigger something hidden and push it to the surface.
My problem is that what I remember are the traumas themselves and nothing else, but even those are slowly becoming hazy. But that's probably a good thing since the memories are such a huge trigger for me too.
This video was great! It explains a lot. I can't remember many happy childhood memories although I know there had to be some. All I remember is things that were confusing to me or bad things.
TH-cam recommended your video and I felt the need to watch it. I just cried while watching, I never thought to put the pieces together and now my poor memory makes sense and I don’t feel crazy. I recently diagnosed myself with amnesia and told my family, friends, co-workers “I have amnesia!” I only did that because I’ve gotten so tired of the constant conversations, “Do you remember when..”I know you remember when..”I’ll help you remember..”OMG I can’t believe you don’t remember this,” etc. it’s very hurtful so I’ve become more introvert as conversations aren’t “fun” to me anymore because people insist on always reminiscing. I know they mean well but I wish people would accept it when someone says, “I don’t remember!” I figured if I tell you I have amnesia then this situations would stop, nobody hears me, so I avoid conversations and interactions as much as possible. I’m sorry didn’t want to make this long but I definitely appreciate your video as has helped me understand my current situation. Sending you virtual hugs ❤❤❤
I’m trying to connect the dots on everything, who i am? Why do I react the way I do? Etc. and now i know why i can’t remember 5-13 years old and I’m 14 btw but thank you soo much ❤
I vividly remember being 3 and being able to tell time....my parents made a huge, unusual fuss. But, I always wondered why I couldn’t remember the bulk of my life as a child. It’s like it skips from 3 to 8 then 12-17.... it’s weird. I feel like I know something bad happened, which explains my bad behavior after whatever it was. But I want to thank you for this explanation, it always bothered me about my memory.
I don't remember good things . Whenever I tried to recall my childhood I feel ashamed which I have said or what I wear. So I tried to avoid the past. But anger and frustration is my constantly behaviour. I can't be happy 🥺🥺🥺
I'm always surprised when I meet people who remember everything about there childhood, how can there be memory left in there head if they use 100% of it. Isn't it better that we forger, so we can leave room for new memories, not to mention we can remember och live in the moments. I read somewhere that people with bipolar and schefrenia remember clearly their childhood.
This video honestly has helped me understand myself alot better. Thanks for posting this! I've recently been becoming extremely forgetful, I can't recall conversations with friends and loved ones. I recently lost my best friend to an accident and my dad also died tragically as well. It seems like since then, I can't remember things. And people call me out on it and im really embarrassed because I have no recollection of my convos with them. Would this be micro amnesia? Or is it from all the grief I've recently been going through?
Idk if this is wrong to say but I wish I had this problem. My childhood memories are so vivid, my memory starts at age 3 and I remember a good chunk of stuff from every age after including the traumatic stuff. Sometimes it gets hard when I think about the pitfalls I experience in my current reality and relate that to a childhood wound and I start spiraling. I wish I could wipe my brain out before age 14. I hate how things that have happened 15+ years ago affect every little action and thought process I have today because I’ve been programmed to believe that it is the way life is and whatever bad thing happened is bound to happen again.
Omg.....I'm 62-yo and can't remember most of my childhood until about my high school years. My dad was emotionally and physically abusive. His belt was his BF. I've always been good at compartmentalizing, but I never wanted therapy because those "boxes under the bed" are tightly packed and I don't want to open them. My siblings remember so much, but for me...zip. I don't remember the Grand Canyon!
I'm so sorry to hear this. That's traumatic indeed. It's obvious that the compartmentalization you've done worked because you can't recall anything. Sometimes a trigger - be it big or small - can trigger a lot. Even having the right therapist can trigger memories as well.
I used to remember a lot of these memory, so I can tell stories cuz I can remember me telling these stories a few years ago. So I repeated the story i have memorized, but I have no actually memory of them. Hope this makes sense
My mom treated me like shit my entire life .. she has no access and hates it. Now she calls me confused to why there’s no relationship. Says everything I say never happened and I’m the liar.
My mom admits that she did horrible things but some she won't and others she will. She also doesn't understand how being g around her literally throws my entire being off. I literally get cold sores every time I visit her because of the stress.
I don't remember anything until about the age of 15 just the odd unimportant memory here and there but very very few and I've been nervous to look into it. I'm 2 mins in and wishing myself luck. Thanks 💕
I seem to have few childhood and even teenage memories. I do not believe I was abused in any way. I’m not remembering bad memories…..I just seem to have very few true memories. 🤷🏻♀️ I have had friends who remembered a lot of things, good and bad.
I really don't remember anything before the age of like 11 or 12 and I have no idea why. My parents were wonderful and not abusive at all and my siblings and I had a completely normal childhood from what they tell me but for whatever reason I have no memory of any of it
Question for anyone to take a shot at. I'm 31. No traumatic experiences as a child but yet I can't remember anything from my childhood. I literally can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday or any of my school teachers names or anything from more than 5 minutes ago. I seriously wake up every day with no memories of the previous day. Its always been this way. Why?
Hi Bill, I’ve had the exact same issue and it’s absolutely debilitating and depressing. Did you find any solutions or have there been any updates in your life since you wrote this? I’d be very interested to know
Thank you for this video, it was great! This explanation resonates with me as to why I don't have certain memories. May God continue to bless you Tamara.
It's good you can admit that. Too many therapists are way too quick to say that a person's lack of memory must be causes by trauma and of course it must be their parents who caused it. Fact is there are various reasons why people forget events as well as factors as seen in parental alienation. Where a child is told that things happened that didn't actually occur. Of course if it never occurred they won't remember but they believe it did because someone (who's lying) says it did
Thank you shared with the Fam, doing some debugging at home next step talk to a counselor to get some new tools for this. On top of TBI, PTSD from adulthood, and unintentional periods of isolation.
I sometimes wonder how much I've forgotten. Between a narcissistic extended family system where I was the scape goat, and school, where I was the outsider due to glasses and deafness, plus a major traumatic event that heavily medicalized our core family, l'm also neurodivergent at least 2; in short, I'm a mess. I have trouble maintaining focus on much of anything and micro-amnesia sounds familiar, but also semantic and some selective amnesia. I do also contend with chronic pain (spinal fusion, scoliosis) and the medication fog that comes with some of the more potent pain relief. I am easily emotionally disregulated, and I'm not sure if it's trauma, hormone theroapy, or neurology related. Anyhow, thank you for the clear descriptions, very helpful to me to be able to "put a pin" in what some of my mental hoops and issues are.
I've had a lot of trouble remembering my childhood altogether. Been in hospitals my whole life and honestly i can't remeber it for the life of me... This video helped to understand a little better. Thank you!!
This comment hits home. I went every six months to a Cardiology in Columbus and it was a couple hours from home. I went from birth to 9 years old. I remember the doctor smelled of cigarettes and how cold the room felt. I can’t remember anything else. My childhood is like a picture book in my mind but pages have been torn out and I can’t put it all together.
My dad died when I was 8 in 1997. I don’t remember much of anything until 2000. Is that normal? I honestly don’t remember a lot of my childhood until college.
Struck by a car as a child so I can only recall points of childhood but I couldn't tell you what homes were like I lived in who my friends were interactions or conversations with childhood friends parents so yeah what you've said is exactly the issue. It's like I can only recall certain instances skips I guess but not everyday life or who my friends were moved around a lot parents divorced so didn't help. The memory loss was undiagnosed I was a child still knew who family was and was quite sheltered as a child so they totally didn't catch it wasn't until i was an adult that I began to realize the memory loss. Basically, i can't recall conversations with my father or mother or any other family members or friends unless the memory is strong rest is a blank. How much I recall probably about 10 instances of childhood memory which makes me feel fractured less complete.
That's terrifying. I'm so sorry. I'm glad you are okay. I have been hit (in my car) 4 times by people speeding, not parking right, not obeying the traffic signals, etc. It's terrifying. My mother and PCP (primary care doctor) thinks I'm in shock. I truly believe that I simply cannot remember major pieces of these accidents. I'm on the very mild side of things whereas, you may be more moderate.
I remember one time I was a about 12 or 13 and I had a feeling like I woke up, while cleaning...i felt like I was being a puppet or a robot for awhile. I wish i could go back to that and figure out why...i want to know why.
I've always had vague memories, like it was a dream that felt real but I wasn't positive. It was confirmed it actually happened and I cannot remember anything. I'm blank. & Now I'm traumatized all over again. 😢
I'm sorry. Vague dreams can be torturing because you know something happened, perhaps something significant, but you can't recall it no matter how hard you try. I often tell my clients that it may not be worth remembering if your mind/brain cannot access it. Just let it go. It may come back later.
Hey Therapist. I read what you said, what happen if the context is a bit sexual like idk solely Light Touching, in that case do you still tell them the same thing ?
I don’t remember any of my memories from birth up until around age 7. I suspect I was possibly a victim of SRA. Is it unusual to completely lose all memories of childhood in the case of SA or RA or SRA?
What if you watch yt videos and forget what someone in the video said just 30 seconds ago…like I just watched your video and after finishing, realized I didn’t retain any of it
can the memories ever come back? also, I'm 22 and until 5 months ago I used weed pretty heavily from 14 (so about 8 years). I'm worried I've done irreversible harm to my brain even though I've quit before my brain has finished developing. Between that and trauma I'm terrified I've ruined my brain. I mean, I was better at reading books when I was 7 than I am now!
I know my childhood was fun and also full of traumatic experiences. But I don't remember what it felt like nor what those experiences were. I know who/what was responsible but I don't remember dealing with them. Like things happened but I have no way to prove it to myself. I was physically abused but I don't have a single visual memory from my childhood. I remember few things but I know there was so much more and I have no idea what. I don't think of my childhood as happy or sad. It's just an opaque blank. I physically feel the lapse in memory. I remember somebody counseling me (not a counselor) telling me that since I didn't remember those harsh experiences it meant that I was healing. 😑
I don't remember my life before the age of 16...was too afraid speak up about it because of stigma. When people say things about that time o kinda just oh yeah it through.
I understand. There may be something traumatic or bothersome that is blocking your memories. Childhood photos or stories from others who remember your childhood may be helpful too.
I don't remember my childhood at all, except for little specs of memory here and there, and i forget almost everything that is happening to me in my life. I don't hold memories. It's like there's me 5 minutes ago, me present and that's all. It's like a constant fog following behind me.
My question is for localized amnesia, what can we do to get our memory back? How helpful is retrieving these memories in the process of healing for those who suffer it?
I have C-PTSD, ADHD and social anxiety. For me, I dont remember my entire childhood. Its like I was born an adult. Some fragments are there. I also cannot picture peoples faces in my head, its just blank.
I'm extremely struggling, have been for a very long time but these problems with my memory is out of control, as well as alot of other trauma and DID issues have all been dramatically worse for the past few years, and I cant seem to find any doctor who understands what Im saying or maybe isnt taking me seriously, I dont know, but my question is what type of doctor do I need to be searching for? It just seems to be impossible for me to improve in any capacity when I am not receiving the correct treatment/Therapy/ect.
when people ask about my Childhood I would always make up story. maybe something from what I wanted to have my childhood be like. I can't remember anything. just vage fear. I'm not sure where the fear comes from but when I can't see a person's arm when they walk up to me i feel the same fear from childhood.
I'm sorry. This is tough and I think having a therapist of your own, if you don't already, might help you sort through what this means. I will b e talking about trauma, the mind, and the brain in January so stay tuned for that. The first conversation will be around flashbacks and trauma triggers.
I have blanks for most of my childhood. My mom was abusive pretty bad. I have memories in bits and pieces. Then I have fragmented bits from the accident that my bf passed away in. I remember trying to rouse him and kind of realizing he was gone but I don't remember climbing out of the car and I remember being on my knees and screaming but I can't hear the screaming it just blanked out. Currently I have a horrible memory I can watch movies over and over and not remember the end and read the same books multiple times and still be entertained because I don't remember the ends. The last therapist I had didn't want me to talk about anything from my past which is what I needed because she said I was dwelling on negatives and that it shouldn't bother me because it isn't still happening then shoved prozac at me which made me way worse and caused an eating disorder to which I lost 80lbs in less than a year. I gave up on therapy and the meds and when I stopped taking the prozac I didn't have a hyperfocus on my body anymore and no longer had an eating disorder. I wish more therapists wanted to talk instead of push pills at you.
I'm sorry to hear this. Sometimes this does happen because of the theoretical orientation of the therapist - in other words - how they see life as a professional. It sounds like she or he wasn't a good fit or perhaps you just weren't ready for where they were trying to take you. It's not clear most of the time who is to blame or who is doing what. BUT I can say that the past is important to understanding the now. How can you grow if you don't process and work through what has made you who you are today? Some people don't need that, and that's okay, but some do!
All I can remember is the trips I went on especially the Disneyland one. Birthday parties the friends I made in school. I vaguely remember riding my bike when I was little. This is all I remember though everything else is fairly blank.
Oh my. Sounds like maybe those were the "highlights" of everything for you. The amygdala, part of the emotional center of the brain, will record memories that triggered some kind of emotion but not all emotional memories. The memory is a tricky thing!
Hi, great video, certainly helped a lot. May I ask... Is there some type of selective amnesia that is not caused by trauma and abuse and things like that?
Thank you! I'm glad this was helpful. This is a good question because in some cases there is a form of "selective amnesia" that happens when the reality of the trauma is too much to handle. Sometimes you may hear those with traumatic childhoods say they cannot remember their childhood or they are numb. Defense mechanisms go up at this time and selective amnesia may occur until their memory is jogged.
Hi Tamara. Ive been suffering from pure O and intrusive thoughts about my family and religion for 17 years now day in day out 24/7. As a result I don't really have any memories left of me. Trapped in my own mind. I don't even remember who I am. Plz help 😢
Yes, absolutely. When you are an adolescent, your brain isn't fully developed yet. It fully develops at 26 years old. During the developmental years of the brain, using drugs slows this process and halts any neurons or brain connections that you could have. That's why marijuana, even though legalized, is not a good idea for young people. ALL drugs affect the brain and even though some people play the "it's natural" card, it's a drug and the brain "turns off" or slows down when a drug is taken into the body. So, that being said, yes, I do think drugs impact memory - especially of a traumatic nature.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Thank you for your response. I'm trying to figure out if my trauma was really self inflicted or if my childhood was actually traumatic. I mean, I had my basic needs met, so that is great. I know many people did not or do not. However, I was in the home where children are seen, not heard. I was a latchkey kid and alone all of the time with no siblings. I was always a black sheep in the family and in life general. I regret my drug use and don't fully understand why I even turned to it. I was a level headed and very intelligent type. I do know that.
I don't remember the past. I also have "Aphantasia" so I can't mentally imagine at all. I don't remember being younger at all. I remember some mean things said to me and traumatic experiences but can't replay it at all. I know I had a lot of trauma but yeah I feel I remember things but don't remember that I remember. Like I can drive, skate etc sometimes words come out explaining things but I don't know where it comes from. 🤷 what do u think this is ? I see pictures of me younger but I don't identify with it, it feels weird. I know it must be me but it's strange
Idk if i was abused but i can't remember anything of my childhood other some little stuff am only 22 bur for some reason i get really emotional when someone mentions childhood trauma idk if that means anything but i feel really frustrated that idk why am feeling this way
I only remember some specific things. They weren't all big events, but random. Always like, photographic with those few I have though. It's so weird. Other than that I don't remember a lot of my life before like 16ish. Those photographic memories I have maybe 30 up til 16
I'm so confused I'm 15 and can't remember anything before 13 ish and everything between 13 and 14 I remember but usually incorrectly. I have had a really hard time with depression and physical my health since I was 12 but if I ask my mom if anything weird happened to me she gets very defensive and say that it must just be genetics and I should stop looking for trouble. I don't know if I just have a really bed memory or something else but the way people get quiet or angry when I talk about if anything happened to me makes me think there's more but no one will tell me.
I'm sorry. It's either blocking that you are unconsciously doing or your brain is responding to trauma. Either way, it may require the support of a therapist.
Apologies! See below: 1. Before I Go To Sleep g.co/kgs/Hx9oeY (can find on TH-cam) 2. Phineas Gauge a. th-cam.com/video/Vwigmktix2Y/w-d-xo.html b.th-cam.com/video/SO-3Ruw61Sg/w-d-xo.html
So is this someone who has experienced issues or just a person with a degree? Or both? I don’t have ptsd anymore but after my trauma I can’t think sometimes, it’s been improving but once I stick into isolation, I can easily lose progress
Well...that's for me to know and you to wonder about! ;) Sounds like you might experience what is known as "acute trauma" or "acute stress" which means that you may experience some symptoms if under a certain level of stress, isolation, depression, change, etc.
Great question. Yes, it can. This depends on the severity, duration, and the reason. If the spanking turns into bruises, broken skin, broken bones, etc. then that is now complete abuse and a crime by law. It is also traumatic. Hitting a child with things such as extension cords, shoes, fly swatters, etc. is also abusive and can turn into childhood trauma.
I'm not sure that is possible! Perhaps but my limited knowledge no this topic doesn't allow me to expand my understanding in that way. I have only seen each amnesia individually. This is something I may do more research on.
I grew up in a religious cult. Most of my memories are very fuzzy from when I was young. I know that thinking of my past brings extreme self hatred and I tend not to dwell on it so much.
I think this applies because I can't remember my childhood. I always thought I had trauma from my childhood and I didn't like my father and mother much I think he was gay and messed up.
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New camera coming Wed!! Quality will be back. Lol
I think it's really bad for me because my friends try to tell me of the fun stuff we did and I don't remember. I just realized recently and has happened twice and there is a video of me doing said activities. It felt like watching someone else's childhood.
Omg yes!! Have u seen a doctor??
Same thing but with family, it didn’t even went through my mind that my family was capable of doing Sunday’s family meetings, turns out they used to do it always until my aunt died whom I thought I never met but turns out we were best friends
I feel that way too. I know I was beaten often. I don't want to remember
Same here! It's so bizarre.. my best friends will tell me things and they're always like you don't remember?! I'm like
... no 😐 but I still love you ❤ 😭 I hate it
Yeah I know right?
My childhood is a complete blank to me, it's all fuzzy. The only thing I can vaigly remember is my mum's perfume and crying. Alot of crying, I grew up in a domestic violence home. I don't remember anything from -9. I have MDD, and ADHD. along with social anxiety and self harm issues. I was so confused as to why I can't remember my childhood. This video really helped clearing things up! Ty
By MDD do you mean maladaptvie daydreaming disorder?
@@Ch50304 mdd is major depressive disorder
Me too
I feel like i was born, and suddenly I become an adult lol
I think we can ALL relate to this.
For real. I have very few memories of my childhood up through my late teens. Even my early adulthood is sometimes sketchy.
I have to really focus in order to remember things, and it usually feels like there's a film over the memories. Like something in me doesn't want me to remember. Even the good times.
I completely and instantly forget arguments/conflict, except for the knowledge that I've had an argument and the feeling of being angry/sad/frustrated/anxious. For example, I remember I had a strong argument this january, I remember it hurt me a lot and still hurts me, but I don't know what I argued about, or any other detail surrounding the conflict.
When I was a child, I could not defend myself from my father (he would get loud and scary, once he flipped a sofa over, once he caught me by the neck), I could only cry and I was mocked for it. I couldn't explain why I was hurt because "it would make him feel bad". Then I was encouraged to just "forgive and move on", and I can't bring out the few things I remember about the abuse because "I'm so resentful". I barely remember anything since I was a child until I was diagnosed with AVPD at 27 and started fixing myself and my life. I feel like my life truly started right then.
Sorry, had to vent. Thank you for the video!
Ive experienced a similar childhood. It’s discouraging in my adult life when I do instantly forget my pov in arguments because it makes it seem like I’m making things up, when in reality I just can’t remember. I’m really good at remembering information I learn bc that was my default in childhood. To forget home life and submerge myself into other worlds. I’ve realized that I too have Avoidant personality disorder. I’m working on this part of me now. I’m thankful to see someone else relate to my experience. Thank you for sharing❤️
I'm a trauma therapist certified in Brainspotting. You are among my go-to resources. This video will give me more to explore and share with my clients. Thank you!
Thank you Yvonne!!😊 That's an honor for sure. Glad this is helpful.
When I think of my memories of childhood, its like I'm watching a movie of someone else. Like I wasn't even there. I've felt like an onlooker of my own life for so long. Not feeling like I'm actually participating
I hope you look into parental alienation too. False memories can be implanted as well as it assumed that a child that doesn't remember something is because of disassociation. Where reality is they have been and are being gaslit into believing something happened that actually never occurred. Not all memory loss is disassociation
“There are memories that we don't want and we don't need,” says neuroscientist Maria Wimber. “Forgetting is good and an adaptive thing.
That's an interesting perspective. Not sure I agree but it's worth considering!
@@TherapistTamaraHill Thank you for taking the time to respond to me, i really appreciate it. Can you please make a video on how to escape a toxic family and mother.
This Maria Wimber should not practise if that's what she said.. I highly disagree with her statement
@@TherapistTamaraHill please, please HELP me remember, I think my emotions and body are starting to remember but I cant I want to unali..... myself bc I can't remember and am scared of what will I remember
@@chaky2512I’m in the exact same boat with you. Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone! Idk how old you are or if you’re into music, but I’m 29 and have been listening to all the amazing music I loved in elementary/middle/high school. I feel music so deeply, and listening to this all is bringing back some feelings I had growing up. Not remembering, but feeling. It’s helping at least that part, and some of the songs that have the message to keep going no matter how dark this shit gets and I need that🫶🏼 we can do this, somehow
Thata why i think its good to have family yearly vacations when you have children, it helps them mark their childhood
So weird I don't think I intentionally blocked my childhood out but it's mostly gone 😢
Sometimes we do block our memories out - because the trauma is so bad - and we don't realize it. Sometimes we have very "distant" memories of things that may only be triggered by certain things at certain times in our life.
@@TherapistTamaraHill I can’t remember things from 2021-22 also my concept of time is completely out of wack. 1 year can feel like 1 month. It’s really scary. Am I okay? I was severely anemic and had a traumatic family mental abuse experience coupled with a narc abuse relationship which was 2016-19 then 2020 pandemic hit and met a new narcissist then developed severe fibroids and had severe bleeding and anemia had to get 11 iron infusions. I think that May have been too much trauma for my brain to handle so I don’t remember things. And time went fast. I’ve completely isolated myself from friends and family as I believe them to be fake and toxic and I feel I’m protecting myself from them. What if I’m just going crazy? Or am I correct for blocking them because they really caused a lot of trauma with their emotional & mental abuse and I can’t really forgive them.
The thing is, i never thought about it before until i saw a reel on insta about not remembering childhood memories could be a defence mechanism by our brains to protect us , then it hit me , i don't remember anything! Like most of it is gone, i can't remember anything but i know i wasn't a happy child and i was constantly walking on eggshells.
So recently, it's coming back at me, like in the most random way , i remember stuff that made me feel uneasy or uncomfortable as a kid , a smell , a pencil, recently anything can trigger something hidden and push it to the surface.
My problem is that what I remember are the traumas themselves and nothing else, but even those are slowly becoming hazy. But that's probably a good thing since the memories are such a huge trigger for me too.
This video was great! It explains a lot. I can't remember many happy childhood memories although I know there had to be some. All I remember is things that were confusing to me or bad things.
Thank you!! Glad to hear this was helpful.
This topic needs more attention for sure.
Me too!
TH-cam recommended your video and I felt the need to watch it. I just cried while watching, I never thought to put the pieces together and now my poor memory makes sense and I don’t feel crazy. I recently diagnosed myself with amnesia and told my family, friends, co-workers “I have amnesia!” I only did that because I’ve gotten so tired of the constant conversations, “Do you remember when..”I know you remember when..”I’ll help you remember..”OMG I can’t believe you don’t remember this,” etc. it’s very hurtful so I’ve become more introvert as conversations aren’t “fun” to me anymore because people insist on always reminiscing. I know they mean well but I wish people would accept it when someone says, “I don’t remember!” I figured if I tell you I have amnesia then this situations would stop, nobody hears me, so I avoid conversations and interactions as much as possible. I’m sorry didn’t want to make this long but I definitely appreciate your video as has helped me understand my current situation. Sending you virtual hugs ❤❤❤
I’m trying to connect the dots on everything, who i am? Why do I react the way I do? Etc. and now i know why i can’t remember 5-13 years old and I’m 14 btw but thank you soo much ❤
I can't remember what my life was like from age 1- 8 years. It's so strange.
I vividly remember being 3 and being able to tell time....my parents made a huge, unusual fuss. But, I always wondered why I couldn’t remember the bulk of my life as a child. It’s like it skips from 3 to 8 then 12-17.... it’s weird. I feel like I know something bad happened, which explains my bad behavior after whatever it was. But I want to thank you for this explanation, it always bothered me about my memory.
There seems to be a lot I don't remember that many other people do. It's very frustrating.
I'm sure it is. It's like a big chunk has been removed from the memories of a lot of my clients.
my life until 12 is very murky but a lot of anger and temper tantrums, the smell of alcohol on someone’s breath
This is so sad but true for me. I'm going to watch this again when I'm alone and can cry.
I'm so sorry😔
I don't remember good things . Whenever I tried to recall my childhood I feel ashamed which I have said or what I wear. So I tried to avoid the past. But anger and frustration is my constantly behaviour. I can't be happy 🥺🥺🥺
your videos are extremely informative! keep it up. you are one of the realest people on youtube your work is very appreciated
Thanks so much Bri!💖
I'm glad these videos are helpful.
I'm always surprised when I meet people who remember everything about there childhood, how can there be memory left in there head if they use 100% of it. Isn't it better that we forger, so we can leave room for new memories, not to mention we can remember och live in the moments. I read somewhere that people with bipolar and schefrenia remember clearly their childhood.
This video honestly has helped me understand myself alot better. Thanks for posting this!
I've recently been becoming extremely forgetful, I can't recall conversations with friends and loved ones. I recently lost my best friend to an accident and my dad also died tragically as well. It seems like since then, I can't remember things. And people call me out on it and im really embarrassed because I have no recollection of my convos with them.
Would this be micro amnesia? Or is it from all the grief I've recently been going through?
Can the memories be retrieved
Thanks Tamara ❤🙋
You're welcome 😊
Idk if this is wrong to say but I wish I had this problem. My childhood memories are so vivid, my memory starts at age 3 and I remember a good chunk of stuff from every age after including the traumatic stuff. Sometimes it gets hard when I think about the pitfalls I experience in my current reality and relate that to a childhood wound and I start spiraling. I wish I could wipe my brain out before age 14. I hate how things that have happened 15+ years ago affect every little action and thought process I have today because I’ve been programmed to believe that it is the way life is and whatever bad thing happened is bound to happen again.
Omg.....I'm 62-yo and can't remember most of my childhood until about my high school years. My dad was emotionally and physically abusive. His belt was his BF. I've always been good at compartmentalizing, but I never wanted therapy because those "boxes under the bed" are tightly packed and I don't want to open them. My siblings remember so much, but for me...zip. I don't remember the Grand Canyon!
I'm so sorry to hear this. That's traumatic indeed. It's obvious that the compartmentalization you've done worked because you can't recall anything. Sometimes a trigger - be it big or small - can trigger a lot. Even having the right therapist can trigger memories as well.
I used to remember a lot of these memory, so I can tell stories cuz I can remember me telling these stories a few years ago. So I repeated the story i have memorized, but I have no actually memory of them.
Hope this makes sense
My mom treated me like shit my entire life .. she has no access and hates it. Now she calls me confused to why there’s no relationship. Says everything I say never happened and I’m the liar.
yeah my mom also gaslights anything abusive that she ever did
My mom admits that she did horrible things but some she won't and others she will. She also doesn't understand how being g around her literally throws my entire being off. I literally get cold sores every time I visit her because of the stress.
Do you have memory of those events with your mother? If not I suggest researching parental alienation. It might help jog your memory
I don't remember anything until about the age of 15 just the odd unimportant memory here and there but very very few and I've been nervous to look into it. I'm 2 mins in and wishing myself luck. Thanks 💕
I seem to have few childhood and even teenage memories. I do not believe I was abused in any way. I’m not remembering bad memories…..I just seem to have very few true memories. 🤷🏻♀️ I have had friends who remembered a lot of things, good and bad.
I really don't remember anything before the age of like 11 or 12 and I have no idea why. My parents were wonderful and not abusive at all and my siblings and I had a completely normal childhood from what they tell me but for whatever reason I have no memory of any of it
Question for anyone to take a shot at. I'm 31. No traumatic experiences as a child but yet I can't remember anything from my childhood. I literally can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday or any of my school teachers names or anything from more than 5 minutes ago. I seriously wake up every day with no memories of the previous day. Its always been this way. Why?
Hi Bill, I’ve had the exact same issue and it’s absolutely debilitating and depressing. Did you find any solutions or have there been any updates in your life since you wrote this? I’d be very interested to know
@@nadlax5920 I started a new job and feel like I’m failing because I can’t recall the information. Depression is also a huge problem
+1
Maybe it has to do with your diet
Thank you for this video, it was great! This explanation resonates with me as to why I don't have certain memories. May God continue to bless you Tamara.
You are so welcome!! Thank you and blessings to you too.💖
Thanks for the video, looking forward to see the movie.
Thank you!! I am searching for it. Once I find it I will post it.
I've grown up in a nearly perfect home nothing bad happened to me but I don't have any memories I often barely remember what I did last week
It's good you can admit that. Too many therapists are way too quick to say that a person's lack of memory must be causes by trauma and of course it must be their parents who caused it. Fact is there are various reasons why people forget events as well as factors as seen in parental alienation. Where a child is told that things happened that didn't actually occur. Of course if it never occurred they won't remember but they believe it did because someone (who's lying) says it did
Thank you shared with the Fam, doing some debugging at home next step talk to a counselor to get some new tools for this. On top of TBI, PTSD from adulthood, and unintentional periods of isolation.
How u doing now 🤔
I sometimes wonder how much I've forgotten. Between a narcissistic extended family system where I was the scape goat, and school, where I was the outsider due to glasses and deafness, plus a major traumatic event that heavily medicalized our core family, l'm also neurodivergent at least 2; in short, I'm a mess. I have trouble maintaining focus on much of anything and micro-amnesia sounds familiar, but also semantic and some selective amnesia. I do also contend with chronic pain (spinal fusion, scoliosis) and the medication fog that comes with some of the more potent pain relief. I am easily emotionally disregulated, and I'm not sure if it's trauma, hormone theroapy, or neurology related.
Anyhow, thank you for the clear descriptions, very helpful to me to be able to "put a pin" in what some of my mental hoops and issues are.
I've had a lot of trouble remembering my childhood altogether. Been in hospitals my whole life and honestly i can't remeber it for the life of me...
This video helped to understand a little better. Thank you!!
This comment hits home. I went every six months to a Cardiology in Columbus and it was a couple hours from home. I went from birth to 9 years old. I remember the doctor smelled of cigarettes and how cold the room felt. I can’t remember anything else. My childhood is like a picture book in my mind but pages have been torn out and I can’t put it all together.
My dad died when I was 8 in 1997. I don’t remember much of anything until 2000. Is that normal? I honestly don’t remember a lot of my childhood until college.
Struck by a car as a child so I can only recall points of childhood but I couldn't tell you what homes were like I lived in who my friends were interactions or conversations with childhood friends parents so yeah what you've said is exactly the issue.
It's like I can only recall certain instances skips I guess but not everyday life or who my friends were moved around a lot parents divorced so didn't help.
The memory loss was undiagnosed I was a child still knew who family was and was quite sheltered as a child so they totally didn't catch it wasn't until i was an adult that I began to realize the memory loss.
Basically, i can't recall conversations with my father or mother or any other family members or friends unless the memory is strong rest is a blank.
How much I recall probably about 10 instances of childhood memory which makes me feel fractured less complete.
That's terrifying. I'm so sorry. I'm glad you are okay. I have been hit (in my car) 4 times by people speeding, not parking right, not obeying the traffic signals, etc. It's terrifying. My mother and PCP (primary care doctor) thinks I'm in shock. I truly believe that I simply cannot remember major pieces of these accidents. I'm on the very mild side of things whereas, you may be more moderate.
Really enjoyed this video😊
Thank you!! 😊 Glad to hear this Jade.
I remember one time I was a about 12 or 13 and I had a feeling like I woke up, while cleaning...i felt like I was being a puppet or a robot for awhile. I wish i could go back to that and figure out why...i want to know why.
I've always had vague memories, like it was a dream that felt real but I wasn't positive. It was confirmed it actually happened and I cannot remember anything. I'm blank. & Now I'm traumatized all over again. 😢
I'm sorry. Vague dreams can be torturing because you know something happened, perhaps something significant, but you can't recall it no matter how hard you try.
I often tell my clients that it may not be worth remembering if your mind/brain cannot access it. Just let it go. It may come back later.
Hey Therapist. I read what you said, what happen if the context is a bit sexual like idk solely Light Touching, in that case do you still tell them the same thing ?
I don’t remember any of my memories from birth up until around age 7. I suspect I was possibly a victim of SRA. Is it unusual to completely lose all memories of childhood in the case of SA or RA or SRA?
What if you watch yt videos and forget what someone in the video said just 30 seconds ago…like I just watched your video and after finishing, realized I didn’t retain any of it
My mother died when I was 5, we had a terrible childhood with step mother. Why can't I remember my childhood?
can the memories ever come back? also, I'm 22 and until 5 months ago I used weed pretty heavily from 14 (so about 8 years). I'm worried I've done irreversible harm to my brain even though I've quit before my brain has finished developing. Between that and trauma I'm terrified I've ruined my brain. I mean, I was better at reading books when I was 7 than I am now!
I know my childhood was fun and also full of traumatic experiences. But I don't remember what it felt like nor what those experiences were. I know who/what was responsible but I don't remember dealing with them. Like things happened but I have no way to prove it to myself. I was physically abused but I don't have a single visual memory from my childhood. I remember few things but I know there was so much more and I have no idea what. I don't think of my childhood as happy or sad. It's just an opaque blank. I physically feel the lapse in memory. I remember somebody counseling me (not a counselor) telling me that since I didn't remember those harsh experiences it meant that I was healing. 😑
Thank you for this informative video.
What's your thoughts on not remembering much for younger ages before the age of 10?
I don't remember my life before the age of 16...was too afraid speak up about it because of stigma. When people say things about that time o kinda just oh yeah it through.
I understand. There may be something traumatic or bothersome that is blocking your memories. Childhood photos or stories from others who remember your childhood may be helpful too.
I don't remember my childhood at all, except for little specs of memory here and there, and i forget almost everything that is happening to me in my life. I don't hold memories. It's like there's me 5 minutes ago, me present and that's all. It's like a constant fog following behind me.
I get list while driving its so scary. I can't remember 6789 up too 15 when I close my eyes to remember I get scared and overwhelmed
I like you! Thanks for the information!
Thank you! And thanks for watching!
My question is for localized amnesia, what can we do to get our memory back? How helpful is retrieving these memories in the process of healing for those who suffer it?
Nice questions, ever found information out?
I have C-PTSD, ADHD and social anxiety. For me, I dont remember my entire childhood. Its like I was born an adult. Some fragments are there. I also cannot picture peoples faces in my head, its just blank.
I'm extremely struggling, have been for a very long time but these problems with my memory is out of control, as well as alot of other trauma and DID issues have all been dramatically worse for the past few years, and I cant seem to find any doctor who understands what Im saying or maybe isnt taking me seriously, I dont know, but my question is what type of doctor do I need to be searching for?
It just seems to be impossible for me to improve in any capacity when I am not receiving the correct treatment/Therapy/ect.
when people ask about my Childhood I would always make up story. maybe something from what I wanted to have my childhood be like. I can't remember anything. just vage fear. I'm not sure where the fear comes from but when I can't see a person's arm when they walk up to me i feel the same fear from childhood.
I'm sorry. This is tough and I think having a therapist of your own, if you don't already, might help you sort through what this means. I will b e talking about trauma, the mind, and the brain in January so stay tuned for that. The first conversation will be around flashbacks and trauma triggers.
Can you explain to me why when I was young I did not see or feel or was alive and when I say alive I mean total darkness until I was 7 or 8
I have blanks for most of my childhood. My mom was abusive pretty bad. I have memories in bits and pieces.
Then I have fragmented bits from the accident that my bf passed away in. I remember trying to rouse him and kind of realizing he was gone but I don't remember climbing out of the car and I remember being on my knees and screaming but I can't hear the screaming it just blanked out. Currently I have a horrible memory I can watch movies over and over and not remember the end and read the same books multiple times and still be entertained because I don't remember the ends. The last therapist I had didn't want me to talk about anything from my past which is what I needed because she said I was dwelling on negatives and that it shouldn't bother me because it isn't still happening then shoved prozac at me which made me way worse and caused an eating disorder to which I lost 80lbs in less than a year. I gave up on therapy and the meds and when I stopped taking the prozac I didn't have a hyperfocus on my body anymore and no longer had an eating disorder. I wish more therapists wanted to talk instead of push pills at you.
I'm sorry to hear this. Sometimes this does happen because of the theoretical orientation of the therapist - in other words - how they see life as a professional. It sounds like she or he wasn't a good fit or perhaps you just weren't ready for where they were trying to take you. It's not clear most of the time who is to blame or who is doing what. BUT I can say that the past is important to understanding the now. How can you grow if you don't process and work through what has made you who you are today? Some people don't need that, and that's okay, but some do!
What do i do if i have all of these issues but have no money and am refused treatment by local doctors?
All I can remember is the trips I went on especially the Disneyland one. Birthday parties the friends I made in school. I vaguely remember riding my bike when I was little. This is all I remember though everything else is fairly blank.
Oh my. Sounds like maybe those were the "highlights" of everything for you. The amygdala, part of the emotional center of the brain, will record memories that triggered some kind of emotion but not all emotional memories. The memory is a tricky thing!
Hi, great video, certainly helped a lot. May I ask... Is there some type of selective amnesia that is not caused by trauma and abuse and things like that?
Thank you! I'm glad this was helpful.
This is a good question because in some cases there is a form of "selective amnesia" that happens when the reality of the trauma is too much to handle. Sometimes you may hear those with traumatic childhoods say they cannot remember their childhood or they are numb. Defense mechanisms go up at this time and selective amnesia may occur until their memory is jogged.
@@TherapistTamaraHillthank you for answering. I just subscribed ♥
Hi Tamara. Ive been suffering from pure O and intrusive thoughts about my family and religion for 17 years now day in day out 24/7. As a result I don't really have any memories left of me. Trapped in my own mind. I don't even remember who I am. Plz help 😢
Could some of the forgetfulness be from have done party drugs starting at age 14 for a few years after that? I can’t remember most of my childhood.
Yes, absolutely. When you are an adolescent, your brain isn't fully developed yet. It fully develops at 26 years old. During the developmental years of the brain, using drugs slows this process and halts any neurons or brain connections that you could have. That's why marijuana, even though legalized, is not a good idea for young people. ALL drugs affect the brain and even though some people play the "it's natural" card, it's a drug and the brain "turns off" or slows down when a drug is taken into the body. So, that being said, yes, I do think drugs impact memory - especially of a traumatic nature.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Thank you for your response. I'm trying to figure out if my trauma was really self inflicted or if my childhood was actually traumatic. I mean, I had my basic needs met, so that is great. I know many people did not or do not. However, I was in the home where children are seen, not heard. I was a latchkey kid and alone all of the time with no siblings. I was always a black sheep in the family and in life general. I regret my drug use and don't fully understand why I even turned to it. I was a level headed and very intelligent type. I do know that.
I don't remember the past. I also have "Aphantasia" so I can't mentally imagine at all. I don't remember being younger at all. I remember some mean things said to me and traumatic experiences but can't replay it at all. I know I had a lot of trauma but yeah I feel I remember things but don't remember that I remember. Like I can drive, skate etc sometimes words come out explaining things but I don't know where it comes from. 🤷 what do u think this is ? I see pictures of me younger but I don't identify with it, it feels weird. I know it must be me but it's strange
All of these amnesia types happen to people with autism regardless if they experienced additional trauma. FYI.
Im just reaching out im 30 years old with no memory of my childhood i would just love to be able to talk to you
Idk if i was abused but i can't remember anything of my childhood other some little stuff am only 22 bur for some reason i get really emotional when someone mentions childhood trauma idk if that means anything but i feel really frustrated that idk why am feeling this way
Where is the link to book a therapy session ? I need one immediately!!!
🙂 I offer consultations for tge time being. Feel free to email contact@anchoredinknowledge.com.
So there's actually no way to bring back the memories of your childhood?...also thank you for this video ❤
My pleasure 😊
And yes, depending on who you see. Although I don’t know much about it EMDR therapy may be one of those approaches.
@@TherapistTamaraHill Aw ok, thank you🙏🏻
After being hit by a car as a pedestrian December 26, 2019. I am experiencing past and current memory losses.
The question is, do i want to remember?
I only remember some specific things. They weren't all big events, but random.
Always like, photographic with those few I have though. It's so weird. Other than that I don't remember a lot of my life before like 16ish. Those photographic memories I have maybe 30 up til 16
Yes, some people experience this for many years -- it's like fragments of reality. It's like watching a movie with jumping scenes.
I'm so confused I'm 15 and can't remember anything before 13 ish and everything between 13 and 14 I remember but usually incorrectly. I have had a really hard time with depression and physical my health since I was 12 but if I ask my mom if anything weird happened to me she gets very defensive and say that it must just be genetics and I should stop looking for trouble. I don't know if I just have a really bed memory or something else but the way people get quiet or angry when I talk about if anything happened to me makes me think there's more but no one will tell me.
I'm sorry. It's either blocking that you are unconsciously doing or your brain is responding to trauma. Either way, it may require the support of a therapist.
You are a great women
Thank you!!
What are the movies????
Apologies!
See below:
1. Before I Go To Sleep g.co/kgs/Hx9oeY (can find on TH-cam)
2. Phineas Gauge
a. th-cam.com/video/Vwigmktix2Y/w-d-xo.html
b.th-cam.com/video/SO-3Ruw61Sg/w-d-xo.html
So is this someone who has experienced issues or just a person with a degree? Or both? I don’t have ptsd anymore but after my trauma I can’t think sometimes, it’s been improving but once I stick into isolation, I can easily lose progress
Well...that's for me to know and you to wonder about! ;)
Sounds like you might experience what is known as "acute trauma" or "acute stress" which means that you may experience some symptoms if under a certain level of stress, isolation, depression, change, etc.
Can spanking with a belt be considered childhood trauma??
Great question. Yes, it can. This depends on the severity, duration, and the reason. If the spanking turns into bruises, broken skin, broken bones, etc. then that is now complete abuse and a crime by law. It is also traumatic. Hitting a child with things such as extension cords, shoes, fly swatters, etc. is also abusive and can turn into childhood trauma.
What if i have all of this amnesias at the same time?
I'm not sure that is possible! Perhaps but my limited knowledge no this topic doesn't allow me to expand my understanding in that way. I have only seen each amnesia individually. This is something I may do more research on.
I grew up in a religious cult. Most of my memories are very fuzzy from when I was young. I know that thinking of my past brings extreme self hatred and I tend not to dwell on it so much.
I think this applies because I can't remember my childhood. I always thought I had trauma from my childhood and I didn't like my father and mother much I think he was gay and messed up.
I don't remember anything before 11 years old, but I don't really mind. It's not important.
It could be though, maybe there was a little bit of good in it?
You might be a walk-in
Thank you
You're welcome!