Ironically, saw the title of this one and we thought, "Oo, that looks like a really useful one" .... only to realise the watch bar was already full and we'd already liked the vid. 😕
Being prepared for intrusive memories is SO essential. I wish every therapist drilled us in these skills every session like it was grammar class. Since most of us were abused in everyday environments, from everyday people, we encounter triggers....every day! When I learned how to remind everyone inside throughout the day, while things were going OK (not crisis), of the benefits of knowing the present time, it was transformative for us. The apple video is a good example. I was abused as a very young child while living with relatives on their fruit farm. I reminded myself that those abusers are all dead, I am now an adult who NEVER EVER has to set foot on a fruit farm to get a fresh apple, and that those things happened decades ago. Could I go apple picking now without switching or freezing? Not yet. There are other places I can more easily visit. Our adult life is still constrained and attenuated by the abuse. That is my present reality and the work in therapy. But if I am able to function without meds, hospitalizations, and self-injury, it is a very good day for me.
Idk you but I am proud of you for being able to function without those things. I'm still in that struggle. And I'm glad there is hope for not needing it at some point. ♡ best wishes to you
I have just begun, after 10 years of therapy, to recall not only incidents but. The feelings that were attached to them, which have been horrible. I also, at the same time have been forgetting appointments, tasks, and even what my husband has just said to me immediately prior (if I hear once more 'I just told you' I think I will scream!). Thank you for this episode. To know Why something is happening makes it much less frightening.
This is an amazing comment, thank you for sharing. I think accepting my limitations around activities and how triggers may show up on a daily basis, is where I either am able to transform or get horribly stuck.
Thank you for these videos! They are so very helpful! One way I’ve tried to do this activity is by carrying around an instax camera and taking a photo of the thing that was positive in my day. I’d put the photo in my pocket and would have to remember to take it out when I got home. (Or I could take a photo of things/ moments in my house) Then I would put it on the fridge. Over time I had many photos on the fridge and many reminders of positive and safe daily moments (because if I didnt feel safe I wouldn’t have paused to take a photo!)
I found that when I was safe, my alters broke through the barricade and all of the pain came back. It took a lot of work with my therapist but Ive now made space for my team in my routine and then, as they spoke more, they needed less and now, the amnesia is lessening. The intrusive memories do happen but it is easier to process now. But I want to thank the CTAD clinic as you guys really helped me when I was struggling with my DID
For me, I rely on pictures. I take pics with my phone of things that bring me happiness and I do not want to forget. I go back and look at those pictures, I study them and remind myself of the beauty and joy in life. Pictures are the most important way that I do to help bring down my amnesic disassociation. My partner, before bed, asks me about my day, he helps me to "remember" the positive aspects and all that. As I have gotten older, and I am now in a "safe" place, and the traumatic memories are coming back, and I am working on that type of therapy also, it is so hard, as I just flat do not want to remember the truama....so I fight against it...but, because I am using pictures and the therapy, allowing myself to remember, and look at the trauma from the eyes of a small child and not an adult, has reminded me, I was innocent....it is hard to think about the trauma as a child would "view" it, because I am an adult....putting myself in that childs mind, has also helped my recovery...because I know I was not to blame...
My view - if dissociative amnesia is happening in the present day it means everyday stresses are beyond tolerable/ present day trauma is happening and it is beyond what is tolerable to stay present with. So same coping mechanism that was used in the past (childhood) is used. So would be either looking at temporarily reducing stresses, then learn new ways to manage emotional state when overwhelmed ( hard as dissociation can happen automatically, so would need to notice signs of overwhelm) or if abuse /trauma happening get to safety. If the latter as amnesia may 'deny' the current situation is problematic and not see it as an issue if can't remember all details or it keeps happening. So keeping a diary/journal book can help and reviewing it. Sharing it with a trusted friend or therapist. Connecting to your body and using other methods to calm/reduce overwhelm ( instead of dissociation) can inadvertently create overwhelm by connecting to past traumatic memory. So it would be getting to safety. reduce stresses and slowly start this connection and learning skills. Therapy can be overwhelming ( with the 'wrong' person') and not all therapist can self regulate and offer co-regulation. Some can which is great, if they can't then its not helpful in the room in my view. My advice to people out there, some therapists ( not talking about your Dr Mike) can talk the talk, not walk the walk, please please get what you deserve and walk away from therapist that are not helping you. Do not blame yourself if it isn't 'working and you are deteriating. In my view it is not intellectual theory that heals ( though an understanding of neurobiology can help) it is the felt safe presence of another who can tolerate the emotions /feeling in the room that you are struggling too and be present. This that helps to start the connection to self so can then do it yourself. Just my point of view! And yes could be wrong. Good area to discuss. Thank-you
Thank you for the brilliant comment. I agree, the theory is a necessary foundation for the therapeutic work, but what truly counts is the connection. The ability for both therapist and person to work together, to believe in each other. The relationship is key!
We've been having a really hard time with this. In the past, I have been able to get myself there and felt safe. Despite having therapists during these times, I was unable to process things in session and was able to safely sit with strong emotions coming up on my own. Now we have been so retraumatized by therapists that parts are very scared to open up and share things. Last time I convinced my protector we were safe enough, and the therapist was safe enough, and to please step back so we can feel... the therapist ended up not safe enough for us. We have a really great therapist now, but I think that safety is also very scary for parts bc trusting can create the possibility to be retraumatized again. At least our current therapist understands it makes sense for us to have a very strong wall to prevent anything from getting through.
I did this early on with my littles as I wanted to prove to them that I can keep them safe now and that the bad things from the past are not present. It very much helps with reorienting the brain into the present day! I hadn’t thought about the encoding of current memories until recently. I had not considered that this deliberate reorienting had improved present day memory retention but it makes total sense that it would!
As a system we are quite prolific journallers, however it can actually be destabilizing to reread everything. The arguments get heated, we process a lot and one alter might have information another alter has no idea about and it's like wait, WHAT? It has to be done sometimes for general research purposes but I just know it'll have all sorts of nasty effects, so I really try to avoid it when I can.
Thank you Mike! Fab advice as always 🥰 I’d been suggesting this to some lately and really promoting that sensory factor (ie touch the grass you’re sitting on and really pay attention to the sensory side to anchor yourself further in the moment so you can remember it better) - do you think this is “too much” of suggesting being mindful in the moment or is it still pretty safe to add so much emphasis on the senses at the time of the memory? Thank you 🥰
What an amazing tool! No one has ever given me an idea of how to begin building my memory. I have DID and forgetting my days is simply a normal part of my life but it really really does suck. It's good to know that there is a way to approach this and possible gain some memory back. Thanks ever so much for this and all the work you do!
Sometimes the synchronicity of these videos blows me away. I lost the three weeks almost completely after I got out of the hospital about a month ago. The event shook my entire system back into retreating into constant amnesia. Have had to ask everyone so many questions to try and help fill in the blanks. The lack of trauma therapy is I think why it also happened so easily. I love what you say about how to rebuild memories by focusing on finding positive memories. As an MDT team has been found for us (finally), I keep remembering our recent trip to the South Island and our favourite city where the team is based. Had a couple of glorious days down there and met a couple of our FB friends whom we adore. This very happy memory has been filtering through my entire system, so it proves what you say is very true and helpful. Now to gather some daily happy nanoseconds to build on until we can move and get working again in therapy. Thank you so much for this wonderful advice as the amnesia has been shaking us profoundly lately.
This is extremely helpful and I hope you will continue to make videos about this topic. No one in 30 years with this diagnosis and struggle with amnesia has ever offered one bit of help or even an idea of something that could help. I am so fortunate to have run across this today. Thank you! ❤️
I totally agree with your feedback, I so often feel - oh it’s not just me that has that! or why has didn’t I know this before! These videos are and chats only happen here in my life. I’m going to try this as of today 😊
Many memory lapses are subtle and seemingly inconsequential circumstances, but it's frustrating and makes me believe I have early dementia. It's not just the significant gaps that cause problems.
Would you mind going over emotional amnesia? And other types of amnesia? Especially since OSDD can experience less day to day amnesia, I'd love to hear more about that.
I enjoyed hearing about this method of reducing dissociative amnesia. I agree with the bit about keep doing it and practicing and you'll see results. An app that our system uses to keep track of switches, and to communicate, it has been a struggle to keep consistent with it, especially when we are not sure who we are in the moment, however I found that with consistant use, even if unsure who I am, we all gain the confidence to use it and stick with it. Somewhat at least. We aren't perfect at it but it is somewhat lowering dissociative barriers.
I just had an issue the other day with the amnesia getting in the way. My daughter swears i watched a show with her, could even tell me what would happen next, but i have zero recollection of the show, absolutely nothing about it was familiar. Thank you for sharing this technique, hopefully it can help our whole system to reduce amnesia.
I have been doing some collage art work to process things with my therapists guidance. It really opened up the flood gates of memories. And I became very unstable. It really is true that you need to be prepared and aware that it may not just be one memory but a flooding of them that can be very overwhelming.
Another great video. Thanks for all you do! I would love to see a video on how to make major life decisions when there is disagreement between parts about which direction to take.
The timing on this video is perfect! We've been in discussion with our therapist for a while now about doing somatic experiencing therapy and EMDR (with safety protocols), and we have collectively decided to move forward with working with a trauma specialist. The distress I commonly feel not being able to relive any memories is at a point where I would really like to try to break through that dissociation, and this video offers a really good approach to practicing that. Thanks as always for the videos, they are very helpful! 💙
These videos are scarily timed with how relevant they are in our journey. My spouse and I both have DID, and it seems like every time one of us shares a challenge with the other, you upload an answer to it within a few hours. We were discussing ways to work around everyday amnesia just last night! I always appreciate the techniques and knowledge you share. Are there any updates on possible US based partners? We've been searching for a dissociative specialist for years. Its tough finding one that takes insurance AND actually understands the disorder.
Thank you once again. I suppose the same method and precautions could be used to remember the surroundings viewed through my eyes inspire of seing my self in the surroundings from the outside.
Thank you so much for suggesting this approach! Does it help to engage in psychoeducation and watch a useful video over time, attempting to see how much we remember?
Thank you so much for all of your videos they are so helpful and reassuring! This is maybe a weird question… but i stopped trusting my memory because i was always so forgetful and it just became my “normal” , my nickname in highschool and in work became dori from finding Nemo. My question on this part though is when working on doing this and trying to gain access to memories that were blacked out… how do I know I can trust the memories/flashbacks and know it’s generally accurate and not my brain trying to fill a gap to understand my Amnesia memory gaps?
It's a great question, Christy. There is hopefully a feeling associated with the memory, something that seems real. When we get 'filler' detail, which sometimes is not correct, but assumed to be correct, we tend to lack a feeling of certainty or solidity attached to it.
Thank you so much for this gentle way to approach memory, it's such a stellar idea! I do have a question - what does one do when you have parts who have a big fear of healing? It's something that keeps me from even wanting to try going to therapy or talking to anyone. I just wonder if it's something that you've run into in your experience working with dissociative patients
Hi Elisabeth, yes, this does occur, fairly often - the fear of healing may be alongside the fear of approaching the trauma, as without the second, the first may not be possible.
@@thectadclinic Oh that suddenly makes so much more sense why this little pang of fear suddenly came to me when trying to do the recall thing. Thank you so much for answering, even if it feels totally obvious to me now! The way things are explained here have been super helpful for me ^-^
Thanks Dr Mike. Sooooo ‘my’ every day working memory is dare I say almost faultless BUT my historic amnesia isn’t budging! I would have daily dissociative amnesia IF ‘I’ didn’t exert so much exhausting control over switching. So my worry is if I allow a switch so that other selves can at least have aspects of daily life to begin to notice and eventually enjoy, then I’m concerned they will get overwhelmed with trauma memories being triggered by everyday events. We are not co-conscious. So I guess our question is to Mike and anyone who reads this - should we work on Co-con first because otherwise my Dissociative Amnesia will increase simply by way of switching - we are confused 🫤
Would you make a video on: "Does a DID person needs psychiatric medication to heal?" Because I hear that a lot of did people get drugs describes after only three sessions, send to a psychiatrist very quickly, without even knowing the patiënt enough. Or they start very quickly with EMDR treatment.
How can you tell when it's dissociative amnesia versus other types of forgetting? Usually by the end of the day I can't remember the beginning of the day. But I don't know if that's ordinary forgetting, ADHD forgetting, or "I'm just so burned out and can't form memories properly," or "there is nothing of note happening, so why would I remember it?"
I really appreciate your wonderful videos on DID. They are helping me to understand and work with my diagnosis. One thing I was not clear about from this video was which memory I should be working on, the same one from Day One until forever, or do I pick a new memory every day? Thanks for your well-informed videos.
I'm not diagnosed with D.I.D. but I suffer from dissociation. Anytime I go to anything very stressful such as a therapy session or a job interview, I have to bring a notebook and write everything down otherwise I will get brain fog afterwards and forget what we spoke about.
With this exercise, is it important to remember the target present times memory with no visual cues, and without using positive sensory triggers? Some of the work I do with my own clients that focuses on strengthing neural pathways uses a somatic (touch) based approach - and I guess my brain has created an imaginary hierarchy when it comes to techniques to facilitate neural connections 😅 I will also need to set some sort of reminder for myself to remember the memory. At least at this point, it feels as if it's extremely unlikely to happen organically.
I think the new remembering should be tried with whatever works best, either visual, somatic, or other sensory. It probably does not matter, so long as it is tried with whatever the person/system is comfortable with.
I wonder how to tweak this for OCD "checking". For someone who needs to check windows and doors and appliances and then forgets that they've already been checked and needs to compulsively recheck - or is that a different mechanism in the brain?
Just to make sure, dissociative amnesia in this context is the amnesia that I experience of the situations when I was fronting. This is different from the “amnesia” I have when one of my bodymates was fronting. Is that correct?
Is it unrealistic to feel afraid of work? My husband supports us, and my protector is always looking for signs that he will kick us out. We are happily married, though, and he is extremely supportive of my limitations. I take care of the home, groceries, cleaning, meals, errands, etc., and I feel safer than I have my whole life these pastb10 years. I am 61. Am I selfish in my fear of not contributing enough?
I also do a lot of work in the recovery field, but I don't get paid. How can I stop beating myself up for not bringing home a paycheck? Thank you for reading this.
Absolutely not selfish, not at all. It sounds like you both have worked out a solid balance with each other and both work hard to make home life great. It is easy to get caught up in guilt for ‘not doing enough’ as if only a pay check counts. Running a home is incredibly hard, and tiring, so you are contributing with everything you can. That is always enough
I have the same arrangement at home as well and also struggle with the same feelings. I've done some deep work on this and for me it was the influence of culture. There's so much emphasis placed on your worth being tied to what you can produce in the world. Typically through a career. I've had to do a lot of work around valuing myself for all the other things I bring, not just dollars. Paradoxically, empathy and attunement is not one of the things our culture really values, but people really know when they've been seen and felt! And to be able to give that away through volunteer work is beautiful and meaningful. Absolutely worthy. ❤
Pick something neutral. A box holding envelopes. A folded towel. That you saw today. The most important thing is to make it about today and recall when it was today that you saw it.
I love apples on the ground but that doesn’t mean everyone else will. I have positive memories surrounding it. I hope you can find something positive that works for you.
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Ironically, saw the title of this one and we thought, "Oo, that looks like a really useful one" .... only to realise the watch bar was already full and we'd already liked the vid. 😕
Same xD
I do this a lot,, bit mind blowing at times,,,, uggg
Being prepared for intrusive memories is SO essential. I wish every therapist drilled us in these skills every session like it was grammar class. Since most of us were abused in everyday environments, from everyday people, we encounter triggers....every day! When I learned how to remind everyone inside throughout the day, while things were going OK (not crisis), of the benefits of knowing the present time, it was transformative for us. The apple video is a good example. I was abused as a very young child while living with relatives on their fruit farm. I reminded myself that those abusers are all dead, I am now an adult who NEVER EVER has to set foot on a fruit farm to get a fresh apple, and that those things happened decades ago. Could I go apple picking now without switching or freezing? Not yet. There are other places I can more easily visit. Our adult life is still constrained and attenuated by the abuse. That is my present reality and the work in therapy. But if I am able to function without meds, hospitalizations, and self-injury, it is a very good day for me.
It seems so obvious and essential, and yet, clearly not widely known.
Idk you but I am proud of you for being able to function without those things. I'm still in that struggle. And I'm glad there is hope for not needing it at some point. ♡ best wishes to you
I have just begun, after 10 years of therapy, to recall not only incidents but. The feelings that were attached to them, which have been horrible. I also, at the same time have been forgetting appointments, tasks, and even what my husband has just said to me immediately prior (if I hear once more 'I just told you' I think I will scream!).
Thank you for this episode. To know Why something is happening makes it much less frightening.
This is an amazing comment, thank you for sharing. I think accepting my limitations around activities and how triggers may show up on a daily basis, is where I either am able to transform or get horribly stuck.
Thank you for these videos! They are so very helpful!
One way I’ve tried to do this activity is by carrying around an instax camera and taking a photo of the thing that was positive in my day. I’d put the photo in my pocket and would have to remember to take it out when I got home. (Or I could take a photo of things/ moments in my house) Then I would put it on the fridge. Over time I had many photos on the fridge and many reminders of positive and safe daily moments (because if I didnt feel safe I wouldn’t have paused to take a photo!)
that is an excellent idea! camera phones could be really helpful with this.
Wow. What a wonderful idea and coping skill. Thank you for sharing. I will add this to my coping skills.❤
This is brilliant! Thank you for sharing!
I found that when I was safe, my alters broke through the barricade and all of the pain came back.
It took a lot of work with my therapist but Ive now made space for my team in my routine and then, as they spoke more, they needed less and now, the amnesia is lessening. The intrusive memories do happen but it is easier to process now. But I want to thank the CTAD clinic as you guys really helped me when I was struggling with my DID
For me, I rely on pictures. I take pics with my phone of things that bring me happiness and I do not want to forget. I go back and look at those pictures, I study them and remind myself of the beauty and joy in life. Pictures are the most important way that I do to help bring down my amnesic disassociation. My partner, before bed, asks me about my day, he helps me to "remember" the positive aspects and all that. As I have gotten older, and I am now in a "safe" place, and the traumatic memories are coming back, and I am working on that type of therapy also, it is so hard, as I just flat do not want to remember the truama....so I fight against it...but, because I am using pictures and the therapy, allowing myself to remember, and look at the trauma from the eyes of a small child and not an adult, has reminded me, I was innocent....it is hard to think about the trauma as a child would "view" it, because I am an adult....putting myself in that childs mind, has also helped my recovery...because I know I was not to blame...
My view - if dissociative amnesia is happening in the present day it means everyday stresses are beyond tolerable/ present day trauma is happening and it is beyond what is tolerable to stay present with. So same coping mechanism that was used in the past (childhood) is used. So would be either looking at temporarily reducing stresses, then learn new ways to manage emotional state when overwhelmed ( hard as dissociation can happen automatically, so would need to notice signs of overwhelm) or if abuse /trauma happening get to safety. If the latter as amnesia may 'deny' the current situation is problematic and not see it as an issue if can't remember all details or it keeps happening. So keeping a diary/journal book can help and reviewing it. Sharing it with a trusted friend or therapist.
Connecting to your body and using other methods to calm/reduce overwhelm ( instead of dissociation) can inadvertently create overwhelm by connecting to past traumatic memory. So it would be getting to safety. reduce stresses and slowly start this connection and learning skills. Therapy can be overwhelming ( with the 'wrong' person') and not all therapist can self regulate and offer co-regulation. Some can which is great, if they can't then its not helpful in the room in my view. My advice to people out there, some therapists ( not talking about your Dr Mike) can talk the talk, not walk the walk, please please get what you deserve and walk away from therapist that are not helping you. Do not blame yourself if it isn't 'working and you are deteriating. In my view it is not intellectual theory that heals ( though an understanding of neurobiology can help) it is the felt safe presence of another who can tolerate the emotions /feeling in the room that you are struggling too and be present. This that helps to start the connection to self so can then do it yourself. Just my point of view! And yes could be wrong. Good area to discuss. Thank-you
Thank you for the brilliant comment. I agree, the theory is a necessary foundation for the therapeutic work, but what truly counts is the connection. The ability for both therapist and person to work together, to believe in each other. The relationship is key!
Thank you 🙏 this was so helpful for me to read right now. Very reassuring 🩷
We've been having a really hard time with this. In the past, I have been able to get myself there and felt safe. Despite having therapists during these times, I was unable to process things in session and was able to safely sit with strong emotions coming up on my own. Now we have been so retraumatized by therapists that parts are very scared to open up and share things. Last time I convinced my protector we were safe enough, and the therapist was safe enough, and to please step back so we can feel... the therapist ended up not safe enough for us. We have a really great therapist now, but I think that safety is also very scary for parts bc trusting can create the possibility to be retraumatized again. At least our current therapist understands it makes sense for us to have a very strong wall to prevent anything from getting through.
I did this early on with my littles as I wanted to prove to them that I can keep them safe now and that the bad things from the past are not present. It very much helps with reorienting the brain into the present day! I hadn’t thought about the encoding of current memories until recently. I had not considered that this deliberate reorienting had improved present day memory retention but it makes total sense that it would!
Keep a journal and read back through it frequently 🙂
As a system we are quite prolific journallers, however it can actually be destabilizing to reread everything. The arguments get heated, we process a lot and one alter might have information another alter has no idea about and it's like wait, WHAT?
It has to be done sometimes for general research purposes but I just know it'll have all sorts of nasty effects, so I really try to avoid it when I can.
Thank you Mike! Fab advice as always 🥰 I’d been suggesting this to some lately and really promoting that sensory factor (ie touch the grass you’re sitting on and really pay attention to the sensory side to anchor yourself further in the moment so you can remember it better) - do you think this is “too much” of suggesting being mindful in the moment or is it still pretty safe to add so much emphasis on the senses at the time of the memory? Thank you 🥰
What an amazing tool! No one has ever given me an idea of how to begin building my memory. I have DID and forgetting my days is simply a normal part of my life but it really really does suck. It's good to know that there is a way to approach this and possible gain some memory back. Thanks ever so much for this and all the work you do!
Sometimes the synchronicity of these videos blows me away. I lost the three weeks almost completely after I got out of the hospital about a month ago. The event shook my entire system back into retreating into constant amnesia. Have had to ask everyone so many questions to try and help fill in the blanks. The lack of trauma therapy is I think why it also happened so easily. I love what you say about how to rebuild memories by focusing on finding positive memories. As an MDT team has been found for us (finally), I keep remembering our recent trip to the South Island and our favourite city where the team is based. Had a couple of glorious days down there and met a couple of our FB friends whom we adore. This very happy memory has been filtering through my entire system, so it proves what you say is very true and helpful. Now to gather some daily happy nanoseconds to build on until we can move and get working again in therapy. Thank you so much for this wonderful advice as the amnesia has been shaking us profoundly lately.
You are welcome, and I love the thought of this positive memory, it sounds so strong.
Haha same, the emotional layering video was so timely for me
This is extremely helpful and I hope you will continue to make videos about this topic. No one in 30 years with this diagnosis and struggle with amnesia has ever offered one bit of help or even an idea of something that could help. I am so fortunate to have run across this today. Thank you! ❤️
I totally agree with your feedback, I so often feel - oh it’s not just me that has that! or why has didn’t I know this before!
These videos are and chats only happen here in my life. I’m going to try this as of today 😊
Many memory lapses are subtle and seemingly inconsequential circumstances, but it's frustrating and makes me believe I have early dementia. It's not just the significant gaps that cause problems.
wonderful - i never thought of dissociation as a habit - or rather a behaviour the brain learns.
Good idea, maybe I can remember the day and date. I'm starting small.
This makes work very hard to do correctly.
Would you mind going over emotional amnesia? And other types of amnesia? Especially since OSDD can experience less day to day amnesia, I'd love to hear more about that.
I know this was from a while ago, but the Rings System has amazing videos on this!
I enjoyed hearing about this method of reducing dissociative amnesia. I agree with the bit about keep doing it and practicing and you'll see results. An app that our system uses to keep track of switches, and to communicate, it has been a struggle to keep consistent with it, especially when we are not sure who we are in the moment, however I found that with consistant use, even if unsure who I am, we all gain the confidence to use it and stick with it. Somewhat at least. We aren't perfect at it but it is somewhat lowering dissociative barriers.
So grateful for you for making this content
You are so welcome!
I just had an issue the other day with the amnesia getting in the way. My daughter swears i watched a show with her, could even tell me what would happen next, but i have zero recollection of the show, absolutely nothing about it was familiar. Thank you for sharing this technique, hopefully it can help our whole system to reduce amnesia.
I have been doing some collage art work to process things with my therapists guidance. It really opened up the flood gates of memories. And I became very unstable. It really is true that you need to be prepared and aware that it may not just be one memory but a flooding of them that can be very overwhelming.
Great video!
Another great video. Thanks for all you do! I would love to see a video on how to make major life decisions when there is disagreement between parts about which direction to take.
Oh wow, this has been big for me, thank you.
The timing on this video is perfect! We've been in discussion with our therapist for a while now about doing somatic experiencing therapy and EMDR (with safety protocols), and we have collectively decided to move forward with working with a trauma specialist. The distress I commonly feel not being able to relive any memories is at a point where I would really like to try to break through that dissociation, and this video offers a really good approach to practicing that. Thanks as always for the videos, they are very helpful! 💙
Thank you, Ashley, we all wish you every success in this next stage!
These videos are scarily timed with how relevant they are in our journey. My spouse and I both have DID, and it seems like every time one of us shares a challenge with the other, you upload an answer to it within a few hours. We were discussing ways to work around everyday amnesia just last night! I always appreciate the techniques and knowledge you share.
Are there any updates on possible US based partners? We've been searching for a dissociative specialist for years. Its tough finding one that takes insurance AND actually understands the disorder.
Thank you
Thank you, Doctor. I'll try it.
Thank you once again.
I suppose the same method and precautions could be used to remember the surroundings viewed through my eyes inspire of seing my self in the surroundings from the outside.
* saying to the brain you want to remember *
Thank you. 💙👊
You are so welcome
Thank you so much for suggesting this approach!
Does it help to engage in psychoeducation and watch a useful video over time, attempting to see how much we remember?
Thank you so much for all of your videos they are so helpful and reassuring! This is maybe a weird question… but i stopped trusting my memory because i was always so forgetful and it just became my “normal” , my nickname in highschool and in work became dori from finding Nemo. My question on this part though is when working on doing this and trying to gain access to memories that were blacked out… how do I know I can trust the memories/flashbacks and know it’s generally accurate and not my brain trying to fill a gap to understand my Amnesia memory gaps?
It's a great question, Christy. There is hopefully a feeling associated with the memory, something that seems real. When we get 'filler' detail, which sometimes is not correct, but assumed to be correct, we tend to lack a feeling of certainty or solidity attached to it.
Ok That makes sense! Thank you so much I really appreciate it 🙂
Thank you so much for this gentle way to approach memory, it's such a stellar idea!
I do have a question - what does one do when you have parts who have a big fear of healing? It's something that keeps me from even wanting to try going to therapy or talking to anyone. I just wonder if it's something that you've run into in your experience working with dissociative patients
Hi Elisabeth, yes, this does occur, fairly often - the fear of healing may be alongside the fear of approaching the trauma, as without the second, the first may not be possible.
@@thectadclinic Oh that suddenly makes so much more sense why this little pang of fear suddenly came to me when trying to do the recall thing. Thank you so much for answering, even if it feels totally obvious to me now! The way things are explained here have been super helpful for me ^-^
Thanks Dr Mike. Sooooo ‘my’ every day working memory is dare I say almost faultless BUT my historic amnesia isn’t budging! I would have daily dissociative amnesia IF ‘I’ didn’t exert so much exhausting control over switching. So my worry is if I allow a switch so that other selves can at least have aspects of daily life to begin to notice and eventually enjoy, then I’m concerned they will get overwhelmed with trauma memories being triggered by everyday events. We are not co-conscious. So I guess our question is to Mike and anyone who reads this - should we work on Co-con first because otherwise my Dissociative Amnesia will increase simply by way of switching - we are confused 🫤
Would you make a video on: "Does a DID person needs psychiatric medication to heal?" Because I hear that a lot of did people get drugs describes after only three sessions, send to a psychiatrist very quickly, without even knowing the patiënt enough. Or they start very quickly with EMDR treatment.
How can you tell when it's dissociative amnesia versus other types of forgetting? Usually by the end of the day I can't remember the beginning of the day. But I don't know if that's ordinary forgetting, ADHD forgetting, or "I'm just so burned out and can't form memories properly," or "there is nothing of note happening, so why would I remember it?"
I really appreciate your wonderful videos on DID. They are helping me to understand and work with my diagnosis.
One thing I was not clear about from this video was which memory I should be working on, the same one from Day One until forever, or do I pick a new memory every day?
Thanks for your well-informed videos.
Find one on Day One, and keep working on it until you get familiar/bored with it, then start on another
I'm not diagnosed with D.I.D. but I suffer from dissociation. Anytime I go to anything very stressful such as a therapy session or a job interview, I have to bring a notebook and write everything down otherwise I will get brain fog afterwards and forget what we spoke about.
Same 😢 I do okay, but most of my life is run by post-its, multiple alarms everyday on my phone, and a lot of note-taking.
With this exercise, is it important to remember the target present times memory with no visual cues, and without using positive sensory triggers?
Some of the work I do with my own clients that focuses on strengthing neural pathways uses a somatic (touch) based approach - and I guess my brain has created an imaginary hierarchy when it comes to techniques to facilitate neural connections 😅
I will also need to set some sort of reminder for myself to remember the memory. At least at this point, it feels as if it's extremely unlikely to happen organically.
I think the new remembering should be tried with whatever works best, either visual, somatic, or other sensory. It probably does not matter, so long as it is tried with whatever the person/system is comfortable with.
This is great, but how do we remember watching this video the next time we uncover a memory from our past?
Write down details on a note for your fridge?
I wonder how to tweak this for OCD "checking". For someone who needs to check windows and doors and appliances and then forgets that they've already been checked and needs to compulsively recheck - or is that a different mechanism in the brain?
Yes, that comes from a present state of anxiety, whereas dissociation is more like the removal of it.
Just to make sure, dissociative amnesia in this context is the amnesia that I experience of the situations when I was fronting. This is different from the “amnesia” I have when one of my bodymates was fronting. Is that correct?
It is different, and a great question. I think worthy of a video all on its own!
Is it unrealistic to feel afraid of work? My husband supports us, and my protector is always looking for signs that he will kick us out. We are happily married, though, and he is extremely supportive of my limitations. I take care of the home, groceries, cleaning, meals, errands, etc., and I feel safer than I have my whole life these pastb10 years. I am 61. Am I selfish in my fear of not contributing enough?
I also do a lot of work in the recovery field, but I don't get paid. How can I stop beating myself up for not bringing home a paycheck? Thank you for reading this.
Absolutely not selfish, not at all. It sounds like you both have worked out a solid balance with each other and both work hard to make home life great. It is easy to get caught up in guilt for ‘not doing enough’ as if only a pay check counts. Running a home is incredibly hard, and tiring, so you are contributing with everything you can. That is always enough
I have the same arrangement at home as well and also struggle with the same feelings. I've done some deep work on this and for me it was the influence of culture. There's so much emphasis placed on your worth being tied to what you can produce in the world. Typically through a career. I've had to do a lot of work around valuing myself for all the other things I bring, not just dollars.
Paradoxically, empathy and attunement is not one of the things our culture really values, but people really know when they've been seen and felt! And to be able to give that away through volunteer work is beautiful and meaningful. Absolutely worthy. ❤
Yeah, as if we could simply choose to remember... I' d be glad if I could just pick the positive memories... if it would just be that simple...
Simple does not always mean easy!
@@thectadclinic A friend of mine has this saying, "Easy is hard enough!"
Pick something neutral. A box holding envelopes. A folded towel. That you saw today. The most important thing is to make it about today and recall when it was today that you saw it.
There is Nothing positive about seeing apples on the ground.
Nothing.
There is for me, which is why I chose it. You have to find your own positive!
@@thectadclinic Yes!
I love apples on the ground but that doesn’t mean everyone else will. I have positive memories surrounding it. I hope you can find something positive that works for you.