@@BaroTheMadman Friendship is the foundation of a romantic relationship, and love is absolutely a verb... and I do love my friends! I just don't make out with them ;)
The last bit about acknowledging that they aren't interested in being a different person with you and not being able to help people who don't want to help themselves is exactly what I needed to hear right now.
I wanted to pitch in here this is just how i feel so yaa umm at times i feel like some people are definitely closed minded about things and you really cant budge into these difficult conversations but you have to realize that these conversations are important if you care about the person deeply, and communication through these things can also help the person find the big narrative wether itd be baggage they have or unresolved trauma and i don’t think its selfish at all i think its caring to talk about these things understanding them deeper because sometimes it can help them understand whats going on themselves especially times now a days everybody really never wants to deal with these difficult thoughts me included and its very complicated but talking them through with someone you care about feels amazing and can bring resolution sometimes. And I’ve noticed i have two types of connections with people one is happy go silly time and the other one is very caring and nurturing now the happy go silly one is really js based off of having a good laugh and being happy with no conflict no challenging beliefs or arguments just being fake and having fun now the other one is built off of conflict deep hard conversations arguments sort of but we have these with a level head we care for each other and we try to find a solution and we try to leave are egos to the side and its made me realize talking to my cousin that im sort of a toxic masculine but thats besides the point at the end of the day i think its not okay to be fake to your loved ones i think you should call them out but also be empathetic for them cause its not their fault its the worlds faults and influences so yaa just my take peace and love yall🤙🏽❤️
“The greatest fear she should have is picking someone like that again, because she’s shown herself that she’s capable of doing that. So she needs to get stronger. So she needs to step out of her boundaries.” That was good. Good af
@@alixungu it means acts of service such as showing up for your friends, spending time with your friends, doing kind gestures, taking them to the airport, uplifting each other. Just like how love is a verb. You show it by doing it.
When she was describing the ability to fill in gaps with the misspelled words and the subs are actually misspelled I WAS FLYING. This dude is a genius and I live for it 😆Derek if that was you then you are more than capable to make a girl laugh, trust me :'D
25:49 my parents were like this. my dad always complimented and loved on my mom through all her physical changes and when he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, she was washing, feeding, medicating him every single day.
Chantal, what you said at 20:28 encapsulated so succinctly everything I've always thought about the dubiousness of going to therapy for some people who obviously learnt nothing. Brilliant!
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Regarding the last one about traumatic pasts - we also gotta remember at the end of the day that certain behaviours, issues, etc are just above and beyond a layman to help with. You're their partner, not their psychologist. I had this conversation with my now husband years ago, I basically said "I love you, and I'll always he here for you. I want to help you with this, but I can't do it alone because I dont always know how to help when you have (e.g. panic attack, flashbacks, depressive episodes, etc). I think it would be a good idea to start talking with a counselor or therapist" and then be there to support them. If they ask you to attend, then make it a priority to go with them. If they're struggling to implement the strategies they talk about at therapy, be their rock and remind them how to do them. Be engaged, be involved, but they have to do the work themselves, and they have to want to do the work. Everything in the video definitely stands, though. If they are not ready, if they don't want to, or if they're genuinely okay and just having a regular old Hard Time, you need to respect that, period.
The way she talks about confidence is actual super helpful despite it being so simple. You’re allowed to take up space and be who you are without wondering what everyone around you is thinking.
The way she explains the need for men and women to have different approaches to engagement is *chef kiss*. I have never been able to articulate that without my need for equity blocking my ability to explain why there is sexist bias
29:18 I love Chantal’s advice and your videos together, but what really sold me on this was the fact that she openly said “I can’t diagnose this.”. Too many people in the life coach - field act like certified psychotherapists and psychiatrists without the necessary qualifications. This puts a lot of their clients majorly at risk, as they don’t seek medical advice or get the wrong one from their coach. Being able to admit that you can’t do something, or don’t know enough to form an opinion is what makes a smart person. I trust her advice even more for this.
Chantal is great, I wish you had more time with her. And dude I understand the anxiety I’m there too but relax, she gave you great advice just work on keeping the train on the track.
Derek, if you ever read this: when I met my bf he had the same issues you described. At first it was new to me but I tried to be understanding and watched closely to his body language and now we’re together for half a year and it got so much better. Don’t let yourself down! There’s someone that’s head over heels into you and as soon as you gain trust, your little friend will trust too. PS: maybe it helps to remind yourself, that the other person is nervous too and you can of course share that thoughts.
The giving vs taking tendency between men and women in a first interaction is a really interesting way to put it, and how going the other way around catches the other's attention, good to think on.
Thank you for being so transparent about ED. I feel like that's a much more common issue than people think, because so many people are embarrassed to talk about it.
I wasnt expecting this last part to exactly describe how my latest relationship went. Feeling like they keep you around when they themselves are in pain while clearly not wanting to let you support them is truly excruciating morally, physically and mentally. Even though we parted ways many months ago it still hurts and I think about them everyday and honestly miss them. But I know that this is for the better, both for them and I. I’m going to heal from this, at long last. To anyone who has gone or going through this too, you have my full support.
Great video! Unfortunately, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, and I still love him deeply. I can't stop thinking about him. I've done everything I can to get him back, but nothing has worked. I'm frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my best efforts, I can't get him out of my mind. I really miss him.
It's incredibly hard to let go of someone you love. I was in a similar situation when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't let him go, so I did everything I could to get him back. I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who assisted me in reuniting with him.
This is probably the healthiest words I've ever heard in a long time. It was really interesting to listen to this discussion and you've reassured me on so many things about talking with people. Thank you for that ❤️
I am glad everyone wants to see more of her, since the very first episode I have resonated with so much that she says, I am constantly coming back to that castle analogy she made in the first episode
Golden rule of relationships. Know your worth and hold specific boundaries of what you can tolerate before trying to help someone, otherwise it becomes draining or in many cases they have no desire to change or help themselves. That’s when you bail.
This is my second time rewatching both episodes and man I wish this was a series. I’m going through a breakup rn and have a tendency to be attracted to toxic men. This video just really hit a lot of relatable topics, thanks guys!
my ex struggled a lottttt with going soft when we first started dating. once he felt more comfortable and secure in the relationship it was no longer an issue. it was weird to adjust to because ive never experienced that before but I was understanding about it obviously.
I love the dating coach lady so much, this was so fun and also educating. WE LOVE YOU GIRLLL❤ ( Also derek i think we need her once a month for our sanity 😶!!!)
Derek has to pay her for the session at this point
😆
who's Derek
@@Howler54Z the one who channel is
he got his session and she got her book promotion, win-win rhyme
I mean her sales went sky high
I LOVE COMING TO DO THESE WITH YOU!! So many people got a copy of No More Assholes from Amazon btw, we're changing things :)
I only watch when you're on no offense That Library Show 😅😂❤
Same!! Everyone else is irrelevant. This woman is spitting FACTS and doing it so witty and loving at the same time. She's awesome and so wise!
The promo is working because I just ordered it! Your advice is amazing!
@@eyeonthepanda Oh yayyy!! Lol!! I know my stuff is good... you're finding out! xo
@@KYLETISZAI 👀 I won't tell if you don't...
My biggest takeaway today: "being a friend is a verb"
I love it!!
I've heard "love is a verb" before. And friendship is a form of love too
@@BaroTheMadman Friendship is the foundation of a romantic relationship, and love is absolutely a verb... and I do love my friends! I just don't make out with them ;)
@@BaroTheMadman bell hooks talks about this a lot in her text 'All About Love'
Please, have her more times. She’s healing society 😭 I love her!
🥺🥺🥺🥺
Idk who's doing your TH-cam subtitles but you gotta give them a raise.
I turned them on just to see, glad I did
Looks at feet*😂😂😂😂
@@woundedsardine3585 i died at that
Now I have to watch all of his videos again
The scrabbled letters and the you're a psychopath ones killed me
her body language is so clear and calming :’) just love this woman
“Even with your dysfunction” 😂 I love her
I was looking for this comment 😭 😭 😭 🙏🙏🙏🙏 she's hilarious bro
jeez that shit hit hard man. it hits lot of man wathcing.
She whipped out the shoes I'm obsessed w her
😂😂
She needs to be permanent on this channel, I would listen to your conversation for hours!! 👏👏👏
🤩🤩🤩
fr fr!
Same same!
The last bit about acknowledging that they aren't interested in being a different person with you and not being able to help people who don't want to help themselves is exactly what I needed to hear right now.
Happy I can help heal
I wanted to pitch in here this is just how i feel so yaa umm at times i feel like some people are definitely closed minded about things and you really cant budge into these difficult conversations but you have to realize that these conversations are important if you care about the person deeply, and communication through these things can also help the person find the big narrative wether itd be baggage they have or unresolved trauma and i don’t think its selfish at all i think its caring to talk about these things understanding them deeper because sometimes it can help them understand whats going on themselves especially times now a days everybody really never wants to deal with these difficult thoughts me included and its very complicated but talking them through with someone you care about feels amazing and can bring resolution sometimes. And I’ve noticed i have two types of connections with people one is happy go silly time and the other one is very caring and nurturing now the happy go silly one is really js based off of having a good laugh and being happy with no conflict no challenging beliefs or arguments just being fake and having fun now the other one is built off of conflict deep hard conversations arguments sort of but we have these with a level head we care for each other and we try to find a solution and we try to leave are egos to the side and its made me realize talking to my cousin that im sort of a toxic masculine but thats besides the point at the end of the day i think its not okay to be fake to your loved ones i think you should call them out but also be empathetic for them cause its not their fault its the worlds faults and influences so yaa just my take peace and love yall🤙🏽❤️
I needed that too
Sameeee crazy I havent realized that before
👀 “Sorry.”
“No no they’re fabulous.”
This man is CHUGGING water and I can’t blame him. Great ep
when he punched the watter bottle i lost it
Please, always put a time stamp 🙃 1:20
That’s Pocari Sweat not water, have some respect
it was up in the next shot lol.. very silent there
NEVER CLICKED SO FAST BC SHES MY FAV GUEST
YESSS!!
the subtitles at 15:31 are genius
when i saw this i immediately ran to the comments. peak situational humor
at 26:52 when she says okay but the subtitles are "you are a psychopath" made me laugh too
12:28
😂😂😂
Love this duo. Oh, to be a fly on the wall when she talks to her husband about these sessions😂
oooo!! Yes, we do talk between make out sessions...
I LOVE when she just looks at the camera in silence and goes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
“The greatest fear she should have is picking someone like that again, because she’s shown herself that she’s capable of doing that. So she needs to get stronger. So she needs to step out of her boundaries.”
That was good. Good af
She is wonderful please bring her back as many times as possible
yes yes yes!
She's is right! She's an icon, she's a legends and SHE IS THE MOMENT! Now, c'mon now!
Let's do it!
"Friend is a verb" Oh I loved that
Facts!
What does it mean? I'm a foreign 🙇🏼♀️
@@alixungu it means acts of service such as showing up for your friends, spending time with your friends, doing kind gestures, taking them to the airport, uplifting each other. Just like how love is a verb. You show it by doing it.
@@CS-pg4go thank you so much
When she was describing the ability to fill in gaps with the misspelled words and the subs are actually misspelled I WAS FLYING. This dude is a genius and I live for it 😆Derek if that was you then you are more than capable to make a girl laugh, trust me :'D
New location unlocked
the queen is back
Thank youuuuu!
She’s literally the best guest I could listen to her break down scenarios for days and days and days and days
The subtitles alone are worth the watch
25:49 my parents were like this. my dad always complimented and loved on my mom through all her physical changes and when he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, she was washing, feeding, medicating him every single day.
Chantal, what you said at 20:28 encapsulated so succinctly everything I've always thought about the dubiousness of going to therapy for some people who obviously learnt nothing. Brilliant!
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is dr.porassss.
SHE IS AMAZING. AMAZING!! I've been waiting for her to come back. She's the best! Such a power woman 🔥
She's back! I'm happy you had her on again.
Also, Derek, this pink color looks really nice on you -- very complementary. (
OMGGGGG “shoutout to hamzah and martin” MY WORLDS ARE COLLIDING
I’m shook by the change in library location 😮😂
The last question really really helped me come to peace with my past relationship
Awww yayyy!
Regarding the last one about traumatic pasts - we also gotta remember at the end of the day that certain behaviours, issues, etc are just above and beyond a layman to help with. You're their partner, not their psychologist. I had this conversation with my now husband years ago, I basically said "I love you, and I'll always he here for you. I want to help you with this, but I can't do it alone because I dont always know how to help when you have (e.g. panic attack, flashbacks, depressive episodes, etc). I think it would be a good idea to start talking with a counselor or therapist" and then be there to support them. If they ask you to attend, then make it a priority to go with them. If they're struggling to implement the strategies they talk about at therapy, be their rock and remind them how to do them. Be engaged, be involved, but they have to do the work themselves, and they have to want to do the work. Everything in the video definitely stands, though. If they are not ready, if they don't want to, or if they're genuinely okay and just having a regular old Hard Time, you need to respect that, period.
The way she talks about confidence is actual super helpful despite it being so simple. You’re allowed to take up space and be who you are without wondering what everyone around you is thinking.
Complement her shoes!!! Those shoes are slay they match the fit perfectly
Make this a series with her. She is so entertaining 😂
She’s back 😍
I am!!
The way she explains the need for men and women to have different approaches to engagement is *chef kiss*. I have never been able to articulate that without my need for equity blocking my ability to explain why there is sexist bias
29:18 I love Chantal’s advice and your videos together, but what really sold me on this was the fact that she openly said “I can’t diagnose this.”. Too many people in the life coach - field act like certified psychotherapists and psychiatrists without the necessary qualifications. This puts a lot of their clients majorly at risk, as they don’t seek medical advice or get the wrong one from their coach. Being able to admit that you can’t do something, or don’t know enough to form an opinion is what makes a smart person. I trust her advice even more for this.
Chantal is on another level. Thanks for spreading awareness of how dating and relating works from the femme perspective!
Chantal is great, I wish you had more time with her. And dude I understand the anxiety I’m there too but relax, she gave you great advice just work on keeping the train on the track.
Derek, if you ever read this: when I met my bf he had the same issues you described. At first it was new to me but I tried to be understanding and watched closely to his body language and now we’re together for half a year and it got so much better. Don’t let yourself down! There’s someone that’s head over heels into you and as soon as you gain trust, your little friend will trust too. PS: maybe it helps to remind yourself, that the other person is nervous too and you can of course share that thoughts.
The giving vs taking tendency between men and women in a first interaction is a really interesting way to put it, and how going the other way around catches the other's attention, good to think on.
Thank you for being so transparent about ED. I feel like that's a much more common issue than people think, because so many people are embarrassed to talk about it.
shoutout to the person writing the subtitles. your extra comments are cracking me up bro lol
Thank you so much Derek for being open and honest with your own issues and allowing us as a viewer to get our own questions answered. ❤
this needs to be a whole series and i wanna watch it forever
31:23 really resonated with me. I love and appreciate that you're able to have these vulnerable conversations
she is so unbelievably funny. She had me laughing the entire video. we need her back again!
The subtitles are the cherry on top! Good job, subtitle person!
I wasnt expecting this last part to exactly describe how my latest relationship went. Feeling like they keep you around when they themselves are in pain while clearly not wanting to let you support them is truly excruciating morally, physically and mentally. Even though we parted ways many months ago it still hurts and I think about them everyday and honestly miss them. But I know that this is for the better, both for them and I.
I’m going to heal from this, at long last.
To anyone who has gone or going through this too, you have my full support.
This is so vulnerable Derek! Not many people would talk about this online! I love your content, keep it up!
him knocking over the water bottle express exactly how i feel about my celibacy
Great video! Unfortunately, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, and I still love him deeply. I can't stop thinking about him. I've done everything I can to get him back, but nothing has worked. I'm frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my best efforts, I can't get him out of my mind. I really miss him.
It's incredibly hard to let go of someone you love. I was in a similar situation when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't let him go, so I did everything I could to get him back. I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who assisted me in reuniting with him.
That's amazing! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I reach him?
His name is Fatherabulu, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can help bring your ex back.
Thank you for this valuable information! I just looked him up online, and he seems impressive.
I immediately need a part 3 and I’m not even half way through!!
Love this!! Let's gooooo!
This is probably the healthiest words I've ever heard in a long time. It was really interesting to listen to this discussion and you've reassured me on so many things about talking with people. Thank you for that ❤️
You're so so welcome!
Bring her backkkkk i love herrr, these videos are genuinely helpful shes so smart
Can’t wait for Part 3! So much great information and insight on things
I LOVE the idea misspelling the subtitels in that part she talks about the misspelled words. So creative ♥️
She is so nice man, I actually feel like a grown person whenever I hear her point of view! Thanks for the video!
how is she so unbelievably hot
Oooo la laaaa
This is how we do
confidence and intelligence :)
I only consider her to be believably hot.
It's the collar bones fr.
I am glad everyone wants to see more of her, since the very first episode I have resonated with so much that she says, I am constantly coming back to that castle analogy she made in the first episode
I love that she understands the duality and puts it in the equation
That last part was gold, "YOU CAN'T HELP PEOPLE WHO CAN'T HELP THEMSELVES "
Golden rule of relationships. Know your worth and hold specific boundaries of what you can tolerate before trying to help someone, otherwise it becomes draining or in many cases they have no desire to change or help themselves. That’s when you bail.
“I’ve always been an honest person’ …🤨😒” he’s so real
Favourite guest hands down, so glad she came back!!!!! ❤❤❤
LOVE THIS LADY SO MUCH she's so informative and well spoken
The way he understands the pressure women feel when asked for our number out of the blue. Love this generation of men.
This is my second time rewatching both episodes and man I wish this was a series. I’m going through a breakup rn and have a tendency to be attracted to toxic men. This video just really hit a lot of relatable topics, thanks guys!
loved how when they were talking about paragraphs with misspelled words they hit us with it in the subtitles. Good move
The moment she pulled that Manolo Blahnik I screamed 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I LOVE THIS WOMAN SO MUCH
Chantal!!!!!! I loved the first video you did w her, I’m so glad she’s back.
Holy shit, love this new session between you two. And as always Derick the library show is one of the best lil shows on the platform. Love ya
so so happy that she came back for another episode 😭
"Don't wanna fuck up the aesthetic" "800 followers" Omfg I am rolling.
We love Chantal here ! She is so down to earth and interesting ! Love it❤
“Me and alot of viewers can’t relate”
I cackled 😂😂😂😂
I really love these interviews, please have more with her!
If you're watching this without captions, you're missing a whole other layer of comedy 🤣
I absolutely love this lady.
literally my favourite guest such a joy that she's back!!
She’s my favorite guest!!
i love this channel so much all of a sudden
my ex struggled a lottttt with going soft when we first started dating. once he felt more comfortable and secure in the relationship it was no longer an issue. it was weird to adjust to because ive never experienced that before but I was understanding about it obviously.
It's been a long time since I've been invested in content like this.
this is the wisest podcast i ever listened to
She is such a queen, very strong aura
I love listening to her, im so happy she’s back 🥰
I love the dating coach lady so much, this was so fun and also educating. WE LOVE YOU GIRLLL❤ ( Also derek i think we need her once a month for our sanity 😶!!!)
For the plot :)
You should bring more people like her, people that bring good life advice. The others videos are funny but fun is temporary and good advice is forever
i really love the answer of the last question
like, wow
never thought about things like that before
I'm here for the deep thoughts, and the healing
@@ChantalheideCanadasDatingCoach i love you soooo much
thanks for your sharing 🥹💜
This is insane cus I FINALLY sat down and watched your first vid with her last night.
AND?!
The captions on this video are 11/10 thank you for taking the time
THE QUEEN IS BACK
20:45 OH MY GOD, this spoke volumes
these two need their own show
Every single thing discussed here was a new thing I learnt, wow! We need more of her on this channel!!! Both of you are hilarious
So so happy you brought her back!!! Absolutely love her and these interviews!
TOP TIER CAPTIONS. They made this so much funnier.