Narcissistic Parents Exploit Scapegoat Child by Focusing on Symptoms They Cause/You're Not Crazy!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ก.ย. 2024
- #narcissism #narcissisticmother #scapegoat Lessons for scapegoats of narcissistic parents. Narcissistic parents provoke the scapegoat and then focus on the symptoms created by gaslighting, emotional manipulation, and family bullying. In this video, we address the intense feelings of invisibility that surface when you are a child of a narcissistic parent.
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In this eye-opening video, we delve deep into the world of narcissistic parents and the insidious tactics they employ to exploit scapegoats to avoid having the focus put on them. Join us as we explore the devastating effects of manipulation on scapegoat children, including depression, isolation, and anxiety that often plague their lives.
For example, gaslighting is a manipulative tactic employed by narcissistic parents to distort their children's reality, making them question their own thoughts, emotions, and experiences. It is a form of psychological manipulation that can leave lasting scars on the victim's emotional well-being.
By examining the symptoms experienced by scapegoat children, such as depression, isolation, and anxiety, we aim to validate their experiences and offer a sense of understanding and solace. This channel is a safe space for those who have endured the effects of gaslighting, triangulation, and other forms of narcissistic treatment to find support, validation, and healing.
Our mission is to empower individuals impacted by narcissistic parents and gaslighting to reclaim their power, heal from their emotional wounds, and build a life of authenticity and self-worth. Together, we can shed light on this often misunderstood topic and create a community of support for those who have suffered in silence.
Don't let the effects of gaslighting define your life any longer. Subscribe to our channel and hit the notification bell to stay informed about future videos exploring healing aspects from narcissistic abuse and gaslighting. Together, we can break free from the chains of manipulation and create a brighter, more authentic future.
Dear One, it's not you; it's your programming.
Our Mission:
At Lisa's Breakthrough Community, our mission is to empower and support wounded adult children who have endured the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse and have struggled to cultivate a healthy sense of self. With a deep understanding of the unique challenges faced by those raised in environments that demanded survival mode and self-abandonment, we are here to guide and facilitate their healing journey.
We aim to create a safe and nurturing space for adult children of alcoholics, those with narcissistic parents, and those who have lost themselves in toxic relationships. Through our comprehensive programs and compassionate approach, we address the deep-seated wounds of abandonment that reside within their inner child.
By offering a holistic and transformative healing experience, we aim to help our community members reclaim their authentic selves and rebuild their lives with resilience, self-love, and inner strength. Together, we strive to break free from the chains of the past and embrace a future filled with personal growth, empowerment, and genuine happiness.
To work with Lisa one to one or in a group setting online, reach out at coach@lisaaromano.com
Thanks for watching Narcissistic Parents Provoke the Scapegoat Then Focus on the Symptoms
_"I’ve cut this wood 3 times already and it’s still too short!"_ imagine that the wood is a child's self-esteem
Lisa I am the scapegoat of my narcissistic family, and I woke up at 25 after realizing I was leading in a narcissist woman. I appreciate you so much for your videos. They have helped me a lot throughout the years. I am 27 now and I moved away from my family.
Absolutely brilliant. Very interesting and well articulated.
Important message.
My past anger and behaviour is due to these parents neglect of self reflection and responsibility. They have thrived off my anger and it destroyed every aspect of my life. Now I see it all so clearly I no longer get so angry, the skin problems don’t occur, the anxiety has gone and I’m powerful and at peace.
No one has any power over me.
Thankyou 🙏😊❤️🔥
0:18 Invisible when you have needs; NOT invisible in the worst ways when they need something.
you had exactly the same childhood like me. even down to the nuns at school. I am 43 now and i have asthma, psoriasis and celiac disease. And i cant get out from my toxic parents home because i did not get a job in 3,5 years even after going through more than 3000 applications and about 1500 application interviews. being broke gets you stuck in a home.
Hi Marino Good evening I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….
I cant stay in any toxic, narcissistic relationships, friendships anymore. I was getting sicker and sicker to the point my nervous system broke down. Both my parents are narcissistic, both are alcoholics but denied it all my childhood. Mum admitted it 12 years ago, shes passed now, and my dad has only just admitted it at 87, he drinks red wine at 11am everyday till he goes to bed. He pits me and my sibling's againt each other and I've gone no contact with him because he's cruel to me and im done. I put me first now and i make no excuses for it, i was really unwell for along time, mentally, physically and spiritually. Im glad im aware im recovering from co/dependentcy thanks to watching your videos. Thankyou Lisa. ❤
The more I heal the more I grief. Because I know that they/we are lost. They will never see me, they will always project, no matter what I do.
You do not know how much of a gift you are to me. I am 60 years old and started this journey of healing and understanding this madness not long ago. I was crying all through this heartfelt video, it has been my life for the past 60 years. Every word, every scenario is me to a tea. Still trying to accept and rediscover who I am to this day….thank you for making me feel less alone. ❤❤❤
I hear and appreciate your feelings! Lisa has been a godsend to this 60 yr old man, as well.
Sending love and hugs ❤
@@millpark26 Thank you! Huge hugs sent your way 🤗. Keep persevering, we are not alone ❤️
@@janecourtenay3676 Thank you! Hugs and love sent back at you ❤️
@@mariamadsen7071 Hi Maria Good evening I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….
My mother is a covert narc. I have been no contact for years. I live with my Dad who is passive aggressive. I know all about feeling invisible. Thank you Lisa. Very Very good video.
I learned, the hardway over the last 4 years, when finally mo mother imsulted me terribly on my bday, I knew she meant to do nothing but harm to me. I put my foot down and stated an apology was in order or the relationship was over. She never did. We habe fought several times and sh ehas twisted to narrative to totally avoiding the offense (which was just really done to me all my life in many different ways, many versions of the same thing) and speaking of things from when I was a child or a teenager. My mother was neglectful, abusive, and self-centered. She completely ignored me, and if I was upset, would not respond to me in anyway, except to be angry with me or tell me, I probably deserved it. My mother was not a nice woman, and I for gave her because from my point of you, I really didn’t understand why she was such an unhappy woman. None of it mattered, and when I realize that I’ve cut her off, and I no longer speak to her, but she doesn’t actually care. It doesn’t bother her. One of the last thing she said to me was “we don’t even bring you up because you’re such a problem“ now mind you I was the only child in the family that actually finished high school went to college and became a professional. Two of my brothers were in and out of trouble with the law and the other one stayed in his hometown and worked at the mill. None of them ever really left. I have for this woman vacations, spending money gifts. Trying to make this black hole, happy, and all the time as soon as I was of no use to her, meaning, she simply could not get her way with me telling me what to do demanding I do this or that she was just done. She really didn’t care That was the most sobering thing I think I’ve ever experienced. It took me a couple of years to really get over it. But for those of you out there, still struggling, once you realize the person you’re trying to get to feel something for you doesn’t care by the way they’re treating you, it gives you the right to walk away guilt free
They idiots and all scapegoating Darvo mob violence cowards lol traitors
I know exactly what you mean. To hell with our mother's and the enablers who help them avoid accountability.
"This did not just happen"...... Thank You, I needed to hear that today. 🥺😢💓
Hi Monica Good evening I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….
Those are the things my mother says to me.
You are so young to have lived thru what you have and then become so educated. You are blessed. My life was much the same but I started way late getting educated. My parents were both unfeeling narcissists. You are sooooo helpful. ♥️
Hi Louise Good evening I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….
Thank you, once again Lisa, for your kind and gentle approach. I hope you know how much that means to my inner child.
OMG Lisa, I am so sorry you went thru all of that bullying at school. What a vicious cycle.
Lisa, thank you for being a role model and beacon of hope to me in mt healing from childhood trauma.
this hits the feels ..
much gratitude 🤲
Thank you so much, Lisa! My heart hurt hearing what you have survived! I'm in awe of what you have become despite all of this!
I know I need to accept my parent's for who they are (whatever that is), but I'm noticing that is way more difficult than it looks, Can't seem to stop yearning for some good stuff as if that's the only key to my healing and being able to move on. But I find I'm still frustrated when it appears they are doubling down on stupid.
Thank you, no comment frim my side, you said everything 😮my mother narc. Father coodependent, she is cruel, then and now, I was invisible...... my father had to take care of me and my sister, disaster...... ❤
I feel sick to my stomach. It was done to me. It was done to my daughter and the worst part is I unknowingly stupidly, participated in it for a bit. I was catering to my mother like everyone else was. I feel so heartbroken. There’s no excuse. It was my job to protect her Yes the assumption was I could trust my parents, but I was complacent and I should’ve seen it. I fear it’s too late. she’s 18😥
That part. It’s heartbreaking. Consequences life long on our babies as well. True consequences, never ending consequences.
The most evil part.
It's never, ever, too late! Love to you 💖
I am so glad to have you Lisa. To be able to hear and listen and process through this with you and your words. Thank you ❤
You are so welcome
This all resonates with me so much 100%. Both parents are all thee above accept dad isn’t alcoholic. Still going thru to this day. I’m starting my journey of healing now that I’m on a journey of weight loss.
Hi JayLS Good evening I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….
Hello, Thank you so much for sharing your story, experience and wisdom. EVERYTHING you said resonated with me...omg🙌 I"m 53 and finally discovering the real me. I've been in ACA for 11 months and it's helped me tremendously. I grew up in the scapegoat role and have narcissistic/dysfunctional family. I'm so grateful I found you!
Wow! I can relate to everything you said Lisa. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! You are saving people’s lives. God bless you❤
I'm so glad!
Great video. I resonate. The 12 week breakthrough course has given me my life back. The best course I have ever taken. Thank you for giving me the courage to become my authentic self. I will always be one of your dear ones ❤
This is how I was treated and didn't realize it was wrong or a problem because it was all I knew, strangest thing though her best friend treated her children the opposite, with so much attention and when we were at her house which was a lot on weekends, my mother was more attentive. I also see a pattern where if she felt I didn't give her the attention she needed she got upset. I also notice that I was a sensitive child and she didn't embrace rather rather picked on me for it
God! I love u! Thank you Lisa, I really need to get on your program.
FYI, this episode triggered what needs to come out of my memory.
You got this!
I am 38 and just over the middle part of this and damn is it hard. Thanks for sharing this!
Good morning. This is so true. Thank you
I could never get to the good part of life around my mother and her husband. So, when I gained intelligence and went no contact with her and her husband, life away from them got better. I still carry the symptoms that they caused. Today I can spot where I was disassociated and when I was distorted.
Lisa, I love how you used your childhood as an example. I too didn't matter to my mother and I feared being whipped like a slave.
Great video content! Thank you, Lisa for sharing ❤
Lisa you have just described my childhood I am now 51 too young adult children, and two failed long-term relationship behind me because I cannot do relationships because of my past. I’m still seeing a counsellor after all the videos and have been following your channel very closely for the past few years. Also you are so helpful. I also have a big platform on TikTok which I follow you on but mostly on TH-cam here. I have become very much addicted to TikTok and can’t seem to delete the account. As every time I’m worried about something this addiction takes place. I wish I could just delete the whole account.
I still see my parents but I still resent them. Thank you so much for all of your help Lisa. It is invaluable x
Grateful
Wow. The first sentence sent me on a spin! I wish I had found this decades ago! Thank you
Thank You Lisa ❤
Thank you. Im learning to actively do things that would make me like and respect myself more. The things are surprisingly more unchartered than you imagine. I understand what self esteem actually means now in my middle age. Im grateful for this new awareness. The timing of my watching this video is pretty incredible. I am working on loving myself enough to use my awareness to actively up-level my life and not just give up because I missed the boat. I have so much rage and anger in me.
Hi Natalia Good evening I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….
It was amazing just how 'bad' my siblings became when I ran away from home when I was 13. suddenly it became obvious that I wasn't as bad as them, but heck.... we can't go there..... I broke up the family. I caused all the problems. 50 years later, I wrecked Mum's funeral by attending. GONE GONE GONE. Some things can never be resolved, no matter how much you go out of your way to be who they need you to be in order to keep the dynamic alive.
I am so sorry that you had to endure all that.
Love these psychological stuff about narcissistic family problems just love it 🥰
My narc family only calls me when they have a selfish need for me to fulfill. They don’t care about me
Hello I’ve listened to many many videos from others including you. I think you are the only one that has given me real insight. My parents were very loving parents but I can see where my mother was codependent and I myself now am that way as I now have a long term relationship with a narc. Just beginning to see this. After almost 2 decades, I actually am beginning to get answers and a lot of it has to do with YOUR insight on the matter. I love your voice and the way you present your videos thank you so much!❤
Thanks Lisa.
Great podcast! Very informational.
When i am alone in my bedroom for hours even if i am crying no one checks on me. My narc family is often the cause of my depression & rarely the fix. Them providing financially helps me tremendously because i can afford to go out & spend time at the gym or the movies
I think we should all be working on our narssism we can’t control others but we can change ourselves especially as like you admitted and said studies are showing we are all increasingly more and more narcissistic
I agree to a degree but I believe there is a difference between being a selfish and self centred person and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. People with NPD don't have empathy and only think about their own feelings, they can't relate to anyone else's emotions or pain and you serve their needs, they don't serve yours unless there's something in it for them . Your an option not a priority.
Christine Albright
"THANK YOU!..."
Thank you for sharing lisa we need more channel's like yours because so many of us are hurting out here
Great video It took a turn I didn’t see coming and opened my eyes more to understanding myself and where I was and where I’m going. Love your work Keep em coming.
Glad it helped
Thank you🙏♥️
So fantastically said... ❤ the American Indians attitude to life and the world...
Exactly 🙌🏻🙏♥️
Really great video! Thx so much
Thank you ❤
APPRECIATES 🎉 CAPETOWN SUID-AFRIKA 🌎🌍🎁🙏🎀
You’re right i gotta fix it. I gotta figure out a way to move out. That’s the goal. To live on my own someday & have all the same rights i have now maybe minimally but inflation is too high and unemployment is high for me to move out :( companies refusing to hire. College is too expensive. I have been banned from having a bank account. My parents clipped my wings
Hi moonlightstargem Good evening I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….
Good morning.
I wasn't bullied at school..I was bullied at home
Exactly. I can not anchor!!!🙏♥️
Thank you for validating that it's not me.. that how I feel and what I think is true. I'm trying to break away from the dance with my mom.. little by slow I am.. it's hard because I love but I am accepting it's not love in return. She has said she loves me but doesn't like me. I'm still processing this statement
Hi Carrie Good evening I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….
Trying to catch myself and check myself and acknowledge abruptly when I see or know I have projected any of these things or have made my children or other loved ones to feel hurt or harmed in some type of way --- in which I do not want to carry or hurt my own children in these same things or areas on life.
Hi Shanon Good evening I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….
@raymondgogolf2463 Thank You, I speak from the heart of some of my own life experiences lived and learned. The Lord knows I have fallen short at times myself with his help and guidance that I may be of help others who are going through things theirselves.
@@ShanonPotter You speak the truth Shanon, if you don’t mind can we be friends. Read what I wrote in my cover photos..🌺🌺 God bless you 🏷️
@@ShanonPotter Hi Shanon good morning, 🌞 how are you doing today?
Shannon did you read my second message🌺🌺🌺
My life - escaped finally at age 57
This is the most informative, helpful video I've ever heard that explains my childhood,all in 16:14,so impressed,thank you...does this apply to being raised by a Bipolar parent also ?
My dad covert narssist i am happy to start my path toward healing
Wow! Sounds like my family! Thanks Lisa for all that you share with us! It really helps all of us.
💯 thats all i can say!
Title does not match content. Title is about scapegoating, and not one single mention of the word "scapegoat". The video was about the "invisible child".
Conflicting message 13.25 13:25
True
But when I was sick or bdays and holidays as a child I was given attention
Your lucky you got that.
And when the American Indian parents were narcs, they would say "We never did anything!". Please don't make narcissism a cultural or race issue. I am white. I went to a psychiatrist due to abuse at home. Psychiatrist wanted to interview my narc mother to ask her "What did you do to her?" My narc mother, of course, said "Nothing". The psychiatrist did nothing different than the Indian medicine doctor. And narcs will always plead innocence regardless of their nationality.
I'm sorry boys did that to you. I'm sure you are a very special person. I was the ugly duckling so i know how it feels. People are very cruel.
My insane borderline narc mom was trying to become my pimp after I left home - she is finally six feet under since 2020.
🤍✌🏿
Are you INFJ? You are so analytical yet feeling
Hi Savana Good evening I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….
I though she was good. But her explanation on reality is for the birds. If what she says is true. Why listen to her . Its like saying everyone is a fool. Im a fool. Listen to me and you will at least know that. We are all fools.
You need to think about falsifying the Metaphysical woowoo nonsense.
It is dangerous to act from a point of falsehood, and is a disservice to your viewers.
You obviously haven't had a spiritual awakening.
@@tinkingtinking2134 I have been awakened to the dangers of people using unfalsified information to coerce and manipulate others into narcissistic systems; such as spiritual cults.
This is a dangerous path to walk down.
The reason people are so prone to narcissistic manipulation, is because they lack the psychological security and tools needed to debunk falsehoods, or refrain from agreeing/people pleasing without admitting that they're not sure of the information they're being given.
well said!
Falsifying the nonsense? Obviously if something is nonesense, it is already false.
@@Joelswinger34 Build the bike shed how you want.
My point is clear.
For people wanting to avoid narcissistic exploitation, they must learn how to falsify information, and remain neutral when they cannot.
This type of blind belief is dangerous.