Insomnia insight
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ส.ค. 2024
- Juro and Alina have realized that doing the opposite of what the threat monitoring part of the brain wants to do can be really helpful. Pondering these insights The Fearless Method is born. This is a way of rapidly teaching the brain that insomnia is a perceived threat and taking a leap towards sleeping well.
In this episode we explore why The Fearless Method can work, how to use it, for whom it is for and what teaching points apply to everyone.
Do you have trouble sleeping? Can’t sleep? Have questions about insomnia or sleep? Please leave a comment or send an email:
questions@thesleepcoachschool.com
I will be happy to share my thoughts as a video reply in an Ask Daniel episode.
If you want to connect elsewhere I’m on Twitter @ErichsenDaniel, Instagram @Erichsen.Daniel, Facebook as Daniel Erichsen.
Would you like to work with me? Awesome! I would love a chance to help you sleep fantastic. There are two ways we can work together:
- The Self Coaching Master Program www.thesleepcoachschool.com
- BedTyme, a sleep coaching app for iOS and Android.
The self coaching program is perfect if you like learning through video and also if have mental wellness goals besides such has being less anxious.
BedTyme is ideal if you like to learn via text and have a sleep coach in your pocket.
Not sure where to start? Check out these playlists!
Core curriculum - a collection of the most important insights, a great place to start.
• Playlist
Success stories - if you need hope and inspiration, this is for you.
• Success stories
Insomnia insight - a list of every single episode.
• Playlist
Talking insomnia - guests with trouble sleeping or experts share their stories / tips.
• Talking insomnia
Hypnic jerks, sudden awareness of falling asleep and other common issues.
• Hypnic jerks and more.
Fatal insomnia - for those concerned about ffi and sfi.
• Familial and sporadic ...
The self coaching model
• The model
Best!
This content does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or other qualified healthcare providers.
My biggest awakening. Was applying everything I learned not only to sleep, but to my health. Being healthy is very much a passive process as well. Our body’s can not heal in fear. The issues arise when we think we are more intelligent than our body and start developing fear believing we need something outside of us to change how we feel inside of us. I am so relieved! I am so happy! I am free and I am reborn! Over a decade of my life I suffered from insomnia, and what western medicine would call a “severe mental health disorder.” I was in some kind of psychosis or schizophrenia, living life in a trancelike zombie state. I thought I was dying, I went to the ER constantly, I was on antidepressants, I was trying supplement after supplement. I had every single symptom under the sun to convince me to believe that I actually HAD a severe physical problem like MS. I has twitching all over my body and even my eyelids, extreme fatigue and exhaustion, extremely debilitating brain fog etc, the list goes on and on as symptom and symptom arrived the more I began surrendering to fear. when in reality my problem was that I would not surrender or believe in anything that was not equivalent to how I was feeling, which was fear. Yes, I was in dis-ease. But I stopped caring about what I had, I just stopped caring, I realized that dis-ease just means that your mind and body are knocked out of balance, homeostasis. And the less I fixated on worrying about what it might be, and started realizing that dis-ease all comes from the same place. It starts in the mind. I came to a realization that I needed to change from the inside out, and that all the tools I have to heal are inside me. In other words I’m not waiting for something outside of me to change how I feel inside of me. I stopped all supplements, I stopped eating healthy, because I realized in the back of my mind that was an effort to get healthy and was placing more worry on me, I started eating whatever the heck I wanted, I started doing what the heck I wanted. Because I realized that every effort I made to heal was in-fact, me not trusting my body’s innate capacity to heal on its own. Our body’s were designed to heal, that is what our body’s do, they are are incredibly intelligent, and if you begin to believe you are more intelligent than your body, you make it feel uncomfortable, like it’s not able to do it’s job without you babysitting it. Anyways, I decided to exchange those emotions of fear, worry, disbelief, distrust, and surrender to love, gratitude, and the feeling of being healed. I began to embrace the elevated emotion before the event actually manifested. It took me a over a year to practice calling up these elevated emotions and surrendering to them. It is not easy at first and takes practice! I’ve been studying epigenetics for the last 2 years but gradually it has been making more and more sense to me, Our thoughts create our reality. But we must understand! That we can not control our thoughts. Our thoughts are like the wind, we can not adjust the winds, but we CAN adjust our sails. You need to have a will that’s greater than any addiction to any emotion. You need to believe, you need to abandon your negative thought patterns, hardwired beliefs, perceptions and attitudes, and come to a realization that that way of thinking was all a product of the conditions in your environment, past present future. BUT it is actually not the environment itself that signals the genes. It is how we perceive the environment that signals the genes. Epigenetic’s baby. I changed my life, and haven’t felt this good in 20 years. People thought I was losing my mind, and you know what! I was. I lost my mind, and I created a new one. My strength has increased 10 fold, I am fearless and I feel a love for life and feel like a finally have purpose. Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom in order for us to realize it’s time to change. We have this whole philosophy of, “people never change until it’s too late” well I’ll tell your right now that that is absolute utter BULLSHIT. That is the fear you need to let go of. I am living proof that It is never too late to change. EVER! YES it does get harder, yes at times it may seem impossible, but it isn’t. The only locked doors in this world are in our mind. And I’ve unlocked every one of them. I chose to believe. Fear is ultimately what is holding us back from our healing journey.
I can not begin to express how grateful I am to have found your channel. You changed my life and once I generate abundance I will be giving back. So be ready. ♥️
-Kristofor Richard
Wow, what an incredible incredible journey 😊!! Dis-ease, I loved this wording and the context around this, well said!!
I have nothing to add expect again to say I was so so glad to hear this, made my day. And Kristofer, can’t wait to hear more, you clearly have much to share that can help others struggling.
Be in touch and yes, made my day 🙂!!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 I am forever in debt to you. You have no idea. You, Ali, and Jaime saved my life. I am infinitely grateful for this. My energy is so high.
@@justletitgo601 hey, hope you are doing well, just wanted to know how you overcome this fear of not sleeping on your own, how you cope up with sleep anxiety? I'm suffering from this condition since a month and a half and all I do is waking up in the morning with no sleep and thinking of sleep all day long, I do try to calm myself down, but the fear is located in the back of head, which is hard for me to get rid of!!!! For me it's hard and I really don't know where to start and how to do it?
Wow, incredibly well said. I love this. I feel the same way, but wasn’t able to express it or put it into words.
@@namrahshah3256 wondering the same. Its tough to embrace wakefulness. I'm def. struggling with this and my anxiety comes on almost automatically at night. :/
I think being 'reckless with sleep' is some of the best advice I've ever had on insomnia!
So counterintuitive, so true!
I’ve been doing some of this lately, I’ve been avoiding my bed and floating between couch and guest room for weeks, last night I said, I’m going to go up to my bed tonight, put the light on and read! I fell asleep, wasn’t great sleep and woke up 4 hours later but it felt like a great step. Slowly working my way to not be fearful of wakefulness. It’s a hard process, I’m hoping in time I can conquer my fear.
This is really courageous Angela, and definitely a great step! I’d say maybe a step towards not looking at fear as anything needing conquering, but a harmless emotion there to keep us safe 😊
Thank you for all of your hard work towards people with insomnia sir Daniel, this app concept of yours could really make a good impact and help.
Always so supportive, thank Lydel 🤗 I’m hopeful!!
Reminds me of the George Constanza method, where he just decides to do the opposite of everything he's ever done.
Have to study this! Maybe this could be a nice episode 😊
Just want to share something that I think proves your point about not fearing the outcome or sleeplessness, I am a firefighter had some issues recently with insomnia and find it easier to fall asleep when I’m at work on shift I think because I’ve excepted the fact that I may get a poor night sleep because of going on calls therefore I don’t really fear it. Just thought I’d share, your videos are incredibly helpful, you really know what your talking about.
Spot on again, when it’s acceptable for us to be awake, then we aren’t afraid of it and we (paradoxically) sleep well in a situation like the one you describe
Hey Dr. Daniel, a bit desperate here, but your videos actually helped me a lot, seen as how you talked about and addressed sFi. Seven months ago I suffered a panic attack, which induced an onset of much higher levels of anxiety (in fact I didn't really notice my anxiety before or even think I had it), then I started having trouble sleeping. One or two days per month it would get real bad. I guess I formed some kind of mental barrier toward sleeping, I started hating that part of the day,
typically I'd stay awake until 3 or even 4 a.m. each night. I'd see these random flashes of white or yellow light that would scare the shit out of me and I would jump out of bed...but I managed. Then, 17 days ago I had a long sleepless night; basically I went to bed at 1 or 2 a.m. and couldn't fall asleep until 7 a.m. The next day I fell asleep but woke up around five, having slept only 4 hours. Cut to three days ago when I also could't get any sleep, which started irritating me, so I made the fatal mistake of googling "can you lose the ability to sleep" and guess what turned up. So I started tripping like crazy until I saw some of your videos, which immediately calmed me. I subscribed to your channel momentarily. But I still can't solve this damn insomnia (I also had a sleep paralysis experience one time, and that's what I am afraid of the most) ...I am a bit calmer and slightly more relaxed now when I go to bed, but I find myself lying in bed for half an hour, sometimes an hour even . My body goes numb, and everything starts getting darker, but I always open my eyes or get up for a walk or some other task to give my mind some ease.
Maybe I went into too much detail, but basically, my question is: Do you have any kind of suggestion or advice for me? Really, anything would help. I downloaded the Bedtyme app, but got discouraged to use it when I saw that it said it might not be for me since my case of insomnia isn't that severe.
Anyways, really looking forward to your reply (and really hoping for one), all the best to you Sleep Coach!
Hey Luka, sorry to hear what’s been happening, but glad you wrote this comment!
I’ll reply at length on Monday in an Ask Daniel episode but I want to immediately share something that’s really encouraging - you’re a bit less worried. This may not seem like much of a deal, but it is. When you start understanding what’s happening, when it’s less of a mystery, that’s when you have a foundation. That’s when the anxiety starts to come down. That’s when sleep starts coming back.
It doesn’t sound too exciting but it’s so true, understanding is super important.
So I say definitely browse this channel and try to educate yourself. I’ll reply as said in length on Monday in Ask Daniel!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thanks doc, will stay tuned for sure. Cheers.
Hi Daniel.
I've been listening to your podcast - I love it! Thank you for this resource.
I have struggled quite insomnia on and off for a few years now. I've recently found myself experiencing it again, even though I thought I'd done alot of work around it.
I'm really ready to understand more and gain the tools I need to ensure this doesn't keep popping up.
I'm also really interested in becoming a sleep coach. But not sure if maybe I need to do some work with you first...
What methods of support do you offer?
Thank you again for all you do.
Kate .
So so glad you’ve found value here 😊
You know the first resource is this channel. I think the playlists can be really a great place to start.
The second resource I would say are my books. Then we also have our programs. We have a group coaching program called Insomnia and Immunity. And we also have an app called BedTyme. You can read more about this on our website.
Becoming asleep coach is really fun and rewarding. But it’s a commitment especially as you of course I want to make back the investment. You can check out more about the program on our website as well and if you’re interested you can schedule a 15 minute call with me.
So glad that you found a channel and let us know whenever you have questions. I answer questions here in the comment section daily!
What if I’m not putting in any efforts but I’m thinking about sleep because I’ve been traumatised because of sleepless nights that I went through. How do I approach my insomnia then? It consumes my thoughts but I don’t put in any sleep efforts as were mentioned by Alina or Juro or any other efforts specifically.
We can think about sleep all day and sleep well. Sleeping is effortless, it has not requirements. And this helps because when we try to not think about something, we think more about it!
I guess maybe the best way to lose fear of not sleeping is to embrace it once when it happens and actually spend a the entire day awake. Depending on your job it might be hard though..
The idea is to see that "well I can function relatively well without sleep, if it comes to that.."
I do believe this very much. And you know, in a way you could say “what’s the alternative?”. Not embracing, that basically means being upset over something we have 0 control over anyway… so yes I believe this very much is the way 😊
Hi Daniel, new here but just come across your channel:) done a lot of research on insomnia and been through CBT-i which I didn’t find helpful. I here a lot people saying “lack of sleep is just a perceived threat and it won’t hurt you” but I find this hard to believe when lack of sleep does hurt me… I feel horrible the next day and don’t enjoy things because I’m so tired and all of this upsets me.. therefore lack of sleep is actually a threat? Not to life but it’s a threat to happiness etc. I think this is my biggest hurdle because as much as I tell myself I’m not scared of not getting any sleep, deep down I actually am.
Hi Emily, so glad you found our little ecosystem! In the This is Natto playlist you’ll find a video on battle scars… I think that can really help
Well expressed. I hear ya! 😘
hi Daniel, I just discovered your channel a few days ago. I've been having sudden onset insomnia for 1.5 months now. of course, I never expected your videos to be a "magic pill" upon watching, but I've slowly internalised so many of these crucial concepts and I believe they will help. last night, I had a particularly rough one filled with frustration and tears, but upon looking at some videos in your channel, I suddenly feel much more relaxed, lighthearted and at ease. I think this will be a long journey... but thank you for being on this journey with us. (PS: laughed at the lion taming metaphor, it was super helpful)!
So glad you’ve found your way here and - thanks so much for taking the time to write this comment 😊 It may take some time, but I think you’ll learn so much that will help way beyond sleep
How r u now?
Hello Coach Daniel. Thanks a lot for the teaching.
Wakefulness or sleeplesness is smth that my brain is avoiding, not because it perceives it as a threat or danger, but because it causes a big discomfort the next day (tiredness, mood disturbance, frustration).
I believe that discomfort is not a danger, but a bad feeling which I try to avoid. In fact, no human being likes discomfort or tiredness.
What do you think about that? The same teaching applies to it?
Thank you always
Hi Leo,
Yes, you’re right. No human likes discomfort, but I’d say that it’s when we have sort of a “phobia” that we struggle. Just as many of us don’t like spiders, it’s only when we do much to absolutely avoid them that our fear grows and becomes a bigger part of our lives
Thank you for finding ways to communicate clearly without using the word ‘insomnia’, which so far I have not found helpful. 🙏
Hi question wherever this method leads to more sleeplessness to some is debatable. So what is the best way apart from sleep restriction to overcome insomnia ? As u say ditching sleep rituals can lead to more insomnia so I’m debating whenever u should follow consistent wake up time / sleep window, or implanting a warrior challenge and go to sleep very late.
Hi GZ!
You know, I would say that the fundamental truth is that no method is needed to sleep well. It’s like breathing really. Now, this said sometimes we can put in a little effort, use some method, to arrive at a place where there’s no effort and no method. And to me, what helps the most is a peaceful way.
If we want peace, our means must be peaceful.
So if you for example decide to spend less time for sleep, I think it helps to see this as a way to leave the struggle, to surrender, to give up. And I think a way that involves an idea to fight will lead to a fight…
I ain’t got 50 bucks a month rn Daniel :/ any advice I’m able to sleep for 4-5 hours but I wake up and I can’t get back to sleep or it’s very light. Any way I can get 7 hours of deep sleep every night? How do I get the sleep to be deeper my sleep isn’t nearly as deep as it used to be :(
David thanks for checking it out, and I have several thoughts to share that I hope will help.
Firstly though, if you’d like to come on as a podcast guest, let me know. We can have a long conversation and really figure out the bast way for you to reach your goals!
Sleep is really regulated by these two things - sleep drive (the gas in our sleep system) and hyperarousal (stress/anxiety/excitement etc, the brake in our sleep system. To get better and deeper sleep you need either more gas or less brake.
The gas is pretty easy to increase. Just make sure you get up early and the same time every day, don’t sleep daytime and don’t go to bed to early. Spend maybe seven hours in bed or so.
Do you have a less brake going on that’s really bad education. Spent time here going through the playlist and the videos and really try to get to a point where insomnia is no mystery, you understand it and you understand sleep. When this happens you’ll be less hyper aroused. Whenever we understand something it is less frightening.
Oh and also, when we have a problem we like to keep track of it. It’s often a good idea. For example if you want to lose weight it’s a good idea to check your weight pretty often. However when it comes to sleep, this backfires. Sleep is a passive process, the more attention we paid our sleep, the less sleep we got. So if you can let go of tracking your sleep. Making it a point of not knowing how much you sleep, paradoxically you will sleep much better and more!
How does this sound David? Let me know if you have any questions!
The Sleep Coach School I really appreciate the reply Daniel. I would be down for a podcast on one of my off days of work. I feel you and Mark have been the two authorities I’ve gotten the most useful insight from I’d love to hear your input on some of my particular circumstance. How would we set this be set up would I get a particular program on my laptop or phone? I have no idea ha
The Sleep Coach School I meant Martin not Mark haha
Anytime! Let’s do it! Just send me an email daniel@thesleepcoachschool.com and we’ll set it up. I use zoom, you just need a laptop or phone. Talk soon!!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Id like some more info....I'm tired of this sudden insomnia. I need sleep!
A genuine question here: if sleep disruption does not negatively effect us in any way, why the ongoing push to get back to sleeping well? Why even bother taking time out to sleep, once we have truly befriended wakefulness…? 🤔
Thanks for your comment!! Just a quick heads-up: we're hosting live Q&A sessions most weeks and we'd love for you to join us! It's a great chance to ask questions, share insights, and connect with others in the community.
Hi, I am currently battling severe post accuse opioid withdrawal insomnia, and some nights I am so anxious from the ptsd of not sleeping, that my mind turns my bed and desire to rest as a nightmare. What do you suggest, can you please help my case. Chronic sinus and pain issues as well exasperate the mental torment that interfere with rest. Need help... sincerely Scarlett
Hi Scarlett, sorry to hear this but thank you so much for sharing and being here.
I want to say that there’s no one answer here, it’s really a process of learning and understanding how the mind works.
One thing that’s always so helpful is to take a gentle path without pushing oneself. What creates insomnia is the fight against wakefulness (trying to make it go away) and for sleep (trying to get as much sleep as possible).
As long as this escaping/chasing happens, when you’re engaging in this battle, the insomnia goes on. But when you abandon the fight, when you try less, when you’re not hard on yourself for feeling tired/hopeless, then things get easier.
Check out the playlists that are in the description of any new video, especially this is Natto and success stories. I think that’s a great place for you to start. Hang in there!!
Hi coach. I sleep relatively fast but wake up in the middle of the night and I'm not really able to get into the deep sleep stages again. I take a couple natural herbs for anxiety so I'm not really anxious when i wake up. What would you suggest? I workout everyday get my vitamin D from the sun etc etc. Should I just give up on my sleep hygiene? I have decided not to care about insomnia because i read that it is one of the best ways to beat it but i was wondering if there was any other things i could do? Also one more question i set my temperature to 63 degrees but sleep with a warm blanket and socks. Am i defeating the purpose of a cold room by doing that?
Thanks in advance coach
Hi Raheem!
You know I think you’re onto the most important thing here which is that when we aren’t trying in any way to sleep or to be calm, peace of mind and peaceful sleep happens by itself.
It really is the same whether we have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep or superficial/fragmented sleep.
Abandoning sleep hygiene, not knowing the time, not tracking sleep, not paying attention to the exact temperature (just going by what you feel like) - all those lead towards peace!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 ok coach thank you. I'm not getting much resutls with the sleep hygiene stuff but I'm scared to abandon it at the same time. Idk if I'm making sense
Totally Raheem, the brain always wants you to be safe. So when it says “try valerian root”, and you do, and nothing changes, then the brain goes “ok, well maybe we need valerian root + blue blockers”. When nothing changes, the brain keeps trying to keep you safe by adding another thing until you have a long list and a set of rituals!
And although you intellectually can see that this hasn’t helped, part of the brain still is very reluctant about doing less. Often it’s like “well, what if I sleep even less when I stop. What if things would have been even worse if I hadn’t done anything?”
This is all very common and natural.
And you know, awareness is what matters. You can keep the sleep hygiene minus the secret intents and thoughts that you now understand, then the efforts are harmless.
Let’s use an example:
Here’s the thing: just being aware is often all you need. For example, if you’ve been drinking sleepy time tea to calm yourself down, and you realize this has been a sleep effort, you can just keep having some but with a different intent - just because you like it!
When the intent of trying to sleep is gone, the effort is gone. Therefore there’s no rush or urgency with sleep efforts, intent and understanding is what matters.
When you feel you want to, if you feel you want to, you can let go of them then!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you for the detailed answer coach. Any other tips i could apply?
Yes!
I have a tip for knowing if there’s effort or not. I think it’s a good one.
The way to know if you had intent to make sleep happen or not you can tell basically by how you feel thinking about it beforehand or how you thought of it afterwards.
If you think of something you would like to do for example listening to a podcast at night and that gives you a little bit of anxiety feeling, there’s probably intent. Because you have a hope that it will make you sleep and also a fear of “what if it doesn’t work”.
If you think of something you would like to do for example again listening to a podcast and you feel a sense of relief, then there’s probably no intent. Because you’re stepping away from trying which is liberating.
Another good way is to ask yourself how do you think of it afterwards. If you think “that didn’t work” or “I didn’t sleep despite” or “I did this but I still didn’t sleep” - then you also know there was intent.
If you on the other hand don’t make any connections between what you did and how you slept, there was no intent!
How do we know that "not looking at the time" Is a sleep effort?
Often if we go “it worked” or “it didn’t work” after the fact… that’s a clue. If we don’t wonder, then there’s probably no effort there
Thanks for youre channel i wanted to ask you something sorry for that. Why when we close the eye the heartbeat start and the stress come ? When im awake i dont have any heart beat fast or stress i just think about sleep at night and im scare of that . But when the night comes , its like the time of my worst comes. Instead to have peace like other people, my stress strart about sleep. Idont know why . Im even scare of picture of bed or pillow when i see on internet or somewhere. When i tell this to my parents they just said i think youre going to be crazy😂. What should i do?
Anytime! Check insomnia insight 470 which I think can help much
Hey sir Daniel, great insights there! I just want to ask that my sleep window starts at 9:30 pm and I tend to stop it and as a result my anxiety goes up knowing that I dont sleepy anymore because my sleep window passes. Furthermore, I was able to read “Set it Forget it” and I planned to follow waking up til 11:30pm. Should I stick to 11:30 pm or 9:30 which my sleeping window starts? And Lastly, when is the perfect time to “sleep detox” because I believe this has a big part of recovering from insomnia. I am really looking forward to your responses here. By the way! The book GREAT! It gives me a lot of hope that will possibly bring my life back. Thank you.
Hi SO,
I think looking for a perfect time OR and ideal sleep window… this in many ways is what Leads to struggle. Thanks for the support!!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 This is so true sir Daniel! You know what? After dropping that comment here, there was a realization came up in my mind that “you know what? Why not just let your body choose when to sleep.” And yeah somehow I regret asking that hahaha. Well I was able to sleep this night for I think 4 hours WITHOUT the help of antidepressant tablet and it makes me more hopeful and felt okay and rested. I know that I am still far from the recovery but theres a lot of realizations on the journey. I wasn’t able to join your app specifically bedtyme but I think the teachings are already given in your channel, you just have to connect the dots. I just want to thank you for creating your channel sir Daniel such a blessing! Kudos!
🤗
@@superoli5308 hey how are you feeling now?
@@namrahshah3256 Hey! I got better now!! I hope you too. 😀
Hey Daniel; how can we accept to be awake if we are already soooo tired and afraid of losing control/mind? That’s so scary …
Hi Ella,
You know, to me what helps is to see that the fatigue and the battle scars aren’t from sleeping little…but from how we think about sleeping little… it’s our response that matters. Then it’s much easier to be okay with being awake because we see that this isn’t the source of our suffering. Check this playlist I think it can help..
th-cam.com/play/PL6RQ1GS7B1cje9e66guVo6BsSF-glS8c7.html
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you so much. It’s so true…🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Hi Ella,
I also have this fear. I think this is where the root of my insomnia stems from, that very fear!
I get it that insomnia is a perceived threat. And i was made to jump in this ground as my sleeping meds lost their effect. Its day 8 without any pill and without any effort to help me sleep. I have learnt over past 10 days with not an hr of sleep that insomnia doesn't kill. It has reduced my energy though. I do feel exhausted. I cant help but count my sleepless nights. May be my brain got habituated to sleep with pills. Its may be because sleeping pills have altered my sleep pathways? So now i dont get sleep on my own. How long will this last?
Hi Zahra,
I’m glad to hear you’ve seen that you’re still safe and you know, the rebound insomnia, often it’s driven by wondering how long it will last. So as hard as it may be, what helps is to not have a timeline, and when the brain automatically counts time… just reply with kindness. “I see you’re trying to have control, and that’s your role, and you’re trying to help me” - and then things get easier. Oh and the sleep system can’t be damaged, however thinking so can produce a result that seems like it is.
I realise that wakefulness is not a competition sport, but dang you deserve a tall box on the podium for managing 10 days on ZERO perceived sleep. I’m impressed. 🥇 🏆 👏
Matthew walker says short sleep increases risk of cancer???
I know ☹️ there’s no data to back it up…
I’ve got to wonder WHY Matthew Walker would say such a thing without robust evidence…? 🤔
Hey Daniel it’s me again (you made a video for me about Swiss awakenings and SFI) 4 months ago. Last week I had a random thought on SFI and chronic insomnia and it unfortunately stuck with me. I went back to the video on Casper’s mom in an attempt to re-educate myself but the thought is still there. These thoughts aren’t really keeping me from sleeping but I do experience a faster heart rate and a strange feeling that lasts throughout the day, and right before sleeping. I catch myself thinking of sleep during the day and I keep telling myself “ I hope that this doesn’t transform into chronic insomnia”, “is the reason why I feel so awake at night because I randomly think of sleeping during the day?”, even though I’m sleeping 7-8 hours/day. Any thoughts on what I should do? Cheers!
Hi Victor!
Thanks for being in touch and this is another important question.
Here’s the thing that can be soo tricky to see, it’s the reassurance that makes those little warning thoughts sticky. “I hope this doesn’t turn into chronic insomnia” is a common reason thoughts about sleep become recurring. Here’s a way to look at this:
Thoughts are basically these random sentences in our brains. They have no particular meaning and they don’t say anything in particular about who we are. They are let’s say suggestions or signals.
We can’t make ourselves think something or not think something, but we can decide to acknowledge a thought or to ignore it/try to make it go away. And it’s i this matter scenario that the brief signal becomes sticky.
It’s like when we call a call center about a problem, and person after person gives us this scripted generic answer or we are put on hold, nobody is listening! We feel a stronger and stronger need to be heard and call again! When finally someone takes the time to listen and we feel heard, then we don’t have to call again!
So when there’s some warning thoughts from the brain and we go “got it, you’re wanting me to be safe, appreciated (!)”, we allow thoights to happen without judgement or trying to argue by trying to convince the brain….then those warnings become fleeting and we have more and more peace of mind and peaceful sleep.
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thanks for the reply Daniel. So you’re saying that the next time my brain thinks about SFI or chronic insomnia, instead of going to casper’s video, I should just realize that my brain is trying to keep me safe from this, and so I should just acknowledge it, despite the anxiety accompanied with these thoughts?
In this case, how do you acknowledge these thoughts?
Would be really cool to see you make a video on this! :)
You said it soo well here. Exactly my thoughts! Check out insomnia insight 339, I think it covers this pretty well. Let me know if it made sense or you find something there to clarify!
Why Everytime I relapse to insomnia my mind thinks it is worsen
Hi Amiel,
The brain always wants us to be safe! But sometimes it can be confused:
The human brain is a survival machine, it always wants to keep you safe.
And it is very very cautious not to commit what’s called a type two error.
You know the story of the boy who cried Wolf. Well the third time he cries wolf, the villagers don’t believe him! They failed to see that there was actually a real problem!
The brain doesn’t want to commit this error. It thinks that if you think that this is simply anxiety, or this is just the same type of insomnia I had before or things like that, it will miss out on something that can really harm you.
So in order to keep you safe, it always tells you to look for new things. It tells you that “it’s different this time”. It tells you “you’ve never had this before”, or “it was never this bad”.
Those thoughts come from a good place. They come from a place where the brain is trying to keep you safe.
But reality is, there actually is no Wolf in the sleep world! There is no real threat, there’s only a perceived threat.
So if you were just aware of where these thoughts come from, it becomes much easier not to buy into them!
You can just be kind to the brain, tell it that you understand that it is trying to keep you safe, but you don’t need to pay too much attention to what it is saying when it’s saying things like the above.
This way you will teach it that there’s no threat and sleep will happen much easier.
Isnt this also ACTi?
Hi Chen! No this is very different. The Fearless Method is something I’ve been thinking about over the past months. ACTi is very similar to mindfulness. It’s a way of not engaging with unhelpful thoughts.
The Sleep Coach School but in de guy meadow there is a part of acceptance where we must accept insomnia then we are able to relax. Isnt your method of facing fear actually lead to acceptance of it also?
Good point! I didn’t make this connection earlier. You’re right, all effective methods really are about not trying to force sleep or control York emotions. I would say where this fearless method takes it a step further is that you not only take a step back and accept - you actually actively try to retrain your brain.
This is a really interesting topic. I’ll talk about your comment on Monday in Ask Daniel to add more context!
The Sleep Coach School i actually did what you said before you make this video and somehow it chip a bit of the fear. But maybe because i have benzo withdrawal i havenot slept for 3 days now . And i am start worrying about it. I actually have an ex girlfriend who ever experience insomnia and she cant slept for 3 days. What she did is she didnt think about it and just work and do whatever she usually done from morning to night. Even when her body is tired she didnt care at all. On the 4th day she fell asleep. This show the difference where i am worried about sleeplessness she didnt care at all. I think insomnia is fear related and people who have a personality of worrier must be train to be brave even in pain.
Chen I think this is a real important observation/insight. I think what your ex girlfriend did really does work. If you can get to a point where you don’t react to even three sleepless nights, then they’ll stop happening. The reason this is hard for most is that - without understanding why you have these sleepless nights not reacting is very difficult.
So yes I think education is the key, understanding why the sleepless nights happen. And once you understand and you’re not that fearful, not reacting becomes much more doable.
Hang in there!