Insomnia insight
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ก.ค. 2024
- In this episode we look at an analogy of you seeing your friend walking towards the train tracks. He is about to cross and doesn't see a train coming his way. You shout and scream to warn him only to be ignored. This escalates your efforts at trying to keep him safe.
He finally turns around and explains what's happening - it's just a scene from a movie. There isn't any real threat.
Seeing that racing thoughts come from your mind trying to warn you, and you trying to not experience those thoughts, we talk about 3 ways to show the brain that you are listening.
1. A thought download.
2. Observing without judgement.
3. Going in your imagination to the place your thoughts are trying to warn you about.
Do you have trouble sleeping? Can’t sleep? Have questions about insomnia or sleep? Please leave a comment or send an email:
questions@thesleepcoachschool.com
I will be happy to share my thoughts as a video reply in an Ask Daniel episode.
If you want to connect elsewhere I’m on Twitter @ErichsenDaniel, Instagram @Erichsen.Daniel, Facebook as Daniel Erichsen.
Would you like to work with me? Awesome! I would love a chance to help you sleep fantastic. There are three ways we can work together:
- The Self Coaching Master Program www.thesleepcoachschool.com
- BedTyme, a sleep coaching app for iOS and Android.
- Buy my book Set it & Forget it on Amazon. It includes a cell phone number where you can send questions.
The self coaching program is perfect if you like learning through video and also if have mental wellness goals besides such has being less anxious.
BedTyme is ideal if you like to learn via text and have a sleep coach in your pocket.
Not sure where to start? Check out these playlists!
Core curriculum - a collection of the most important insights, a great place to start.
• Playlist
Success stories - if you need hope and inspiration, this is for you.
• Success stories
Insomnia insight - a list of every single episode.
• Playlist
Talking insomnia - guests with trouble sleeping or experts share their stories / tips.
• Talking insomnia
Hypnic jerks, sudden awareness of falling asleep and other common issues.
• Hypnic jerks and more.
Fatal insomnia - for those concerned about ffi and sfi.
• Familial and sporadic ...
The self coaching model
• The model - บันเทิง
This totally makes sense!! I have a way to "fight" intrusive thoughts: acknowledging them and letting them warning me without actually doing what they are telling me to do to "stay safe".
Tonight when i got into bed i had some pain in my legs and some tension to release bc of a long walk i had to do in order to take a 5 hours long exam. I experienced something i would describe as hypnic jerks a couple times too bc my body just couldnt relax and my brain was constantly telling me to move my legs bc staying still was only going to make them hurt more.
I recognized that this was an intrusive thought and i was just following what it was telling me by moving my legs. So i stayed still. My brain was panicking for a bit but then it realized there was no real threat and i could fall asleep, and also slept pretty decently throughout the night!
Intrusive thoughts are just like a broken alarm. If you choose to listen to it you'll just always be anxious looking for a threat that wont come. The more you try to ignore it the more the sound of it will annoy you.
But if you aknowledge that you'll fix it without actually looking out for a non existent danger, the easier it will be to coexist with it.
Hi Thea!
Thanks for sharing this! When I was reading here, it made me think of compulsions, you feel a strong urge to do something that will release tension, take away that anxious feeling, and although it feels better temporarily - it teaches the brain that you have to keep doing things not to feel anxious which makes you more anxious long term!
So well done 👍
Very important, again thanks for sharing!
This is a great analogy Daniel, thank you. When my feelings are overwhelming I find that journaling helps so much to calm me down. It’s as though I’ve acknowledged the thoughts, rather than just let them circle endlessly in my mind. I feel a great sense of relief, and I can move on with the rest of my day without the need for rumination. Making a few notes at a set time each day sounds helpful- a scheduled ‘worry time’ almost. I find the more I try to suppress my thoughts/feelings, the more they like to appear during the night in need of attention!
Hi Lucy! Thanks did this kind comment and for sharing! Especially the last part “like to appear during the night in need of attention”, very good point. It is when it’s dark and quiet that any suppressed thoughts are likely to pop up. Even more reason to listen to them daytime 👍
This is so brilliantly helpful Daniel. Mainly yes, for the dreaded insomnia, but for all anxiety and upsetting thoughts ...ever appreciative, Lucy
So so glad you found it helpful 😊
That analogy is very helpful! Thanks!
Bitte schon!!
Great content! love the example
Thanks cuz 😊!! Big hugs to everyone and thanks for the support!!
Hi Coach Daniel, my name is Clinton, I know this is an older video so maybe you won't see this but I just wanted to share my experience after discovering your channel and philosophies this week.
I've been struggling with insomnia but more specifically the anxiety that creates it for the past 2 months. I had a triggering experience with a family member that I'm not on good terms with back in late June and it brought up a whole lot of issues. Since then I've started seeing a psychiatrist but also a therapist who is helping me through CBTi but also with processing and learning to manage my anxiety. I am taking medication through my psychiatrist to help me balance out but I've always been of the philosophy that medicine for mental health is generally only as effective as the work you put in emotionally/mentally in therapy to tackle your issues. Medicine can sooth the body but it can't sooth the mind/soul.
Your approach and perspectives are very kind hearted and similar to how my therapist is walking me through the difficult time in my life right now. This video specifically, the acknowledgement of thoughts and your brain and not running from them has really helped me feel a perspective shift since discovering your channel this past Tuesday. It's scary at first to say "i cant ever make myself sleep, it's impossible" or to acknowledge the fears from anxiety head on but I find the more I've been doing it in that nonjudgemental passing thought way, it feels like I focus a little less on fighting for sleep and more on wrestling with my anxieties and learning to manage those.
The perspective on how we can antagonize wakefulness is something I'm really wrestling with too because I notice myself doing exactly that even when I don't want to. I think you said it in another video, normally, you don't have a relationship with breathing, it just happens, sleep should be the same.
Thank you for sharing all your videos in the open like this.
Hi Clinton,
I do get a notification for comments on all videos… and I’m glad I do because otherwise I wouldn’t have seen this one 😊
So so glad you came across the channel, that our way resonates and that it’s similar to what your therapist teaches.
Thanks much for sharing and for the support 🙏!! Be well now and be in touch
This is what keeps happening to me. Yesterday I tried to be as active as I could. I had gotten 4.75 hours of sleep ( my pattern is 2, 3.5, 0, 4-5 then repeat) for years now. But has taken a tremendous toll.
I got up yesterday, completely stiff, fatigued. Did yoga for 20 minutes and that was a struggle. Then I went to my son in law’s graduation celebration from med school, interacted with family and my grandson all day. Came home in the evening and watched tv and these videos with you and Martin trying to educate myself and give me hope. I was so “sleepy” so I moved my sleep window up 30 minutes both directions. Then right at bedtime I had that thought “will I ever be able to get up and go to work again?” Then hyper arousal kicked in, I asked myself if this was a real threat, anything that I need to “fix” now? I told myself “all is well” but sleep was very poor. 3 1/2 hours, what I call superficial or twilight sleep. If it would of been no sleep then that is when suicidal thoughts kick in. Mind you, I never wanna die when I am getting good sleep and enjoy life for the most part.
I hurt all over bad this morning. Don’t know how to get through the day. It can take hours to get moving. But I know I need to move, but it’s so hard. I am winded just because of pure exhaustion. All my muscles and joints hurt.
For me insomnia has been a “progressive disease.” Days like this (they are so often now) I ask God to take me, but I am trying so hard to live. So hard. I have 3 kids and a grandson. I have support all around me. I want this CBT-I to work for me! I want my life back.
It is so hard to function at anything when I feel this way. But I know I have to build sleep drive. I signed up to volunteer at a local food pantry starting tomorrow as well as a horse sanctuary to do chores. I am looking at it as that I want to go do something, not as being active with an intent to build drive so not to create sleep effort.
I don’t want to get worse and it is so bad now. I am living off of my house money right now, trying so hard with CBT-I to get well, have a quality life, with hope that I will be healed with CBT-I and work again.
For anyone struggling reading this, please educate yourself and do CBT-I so you don’t get worse. Please. I wish I would have known about this sooner.
Monica! Sorry to hear you're struggling a lot right now. I think a great episode for you would be episode 346, and also 347.
I know it's tough but you know, insomnia cannot survive without attention. It's the oxygen it needs to survive. Without it, it no longer exists. And when you know how many hours you slept, when you keep track of a pattern, when you know how many years you've had it...that's the attention that keeps it going..
And efforts are also very important.. when you try to be active to sleep more, that's effort. When you want CBT-I to work for you that's effort. When you try to build sleep drive, that's effort.
Here's the thing, when you do all these wonderful things like yoga, being active, volunteering without intent, without any goal. Just because you feel like it. Just to be there. Just because that's what you're doing, then you're no longer producing effort and then, when you no longer try, all kinds of good things come your way.
Hang in there Monica and thanks for the support and for spreading the word!!
The Sleep Coach School Thank you so much Daniel. I appreciate your advice and all this makes so much sense. I have done absolutely everything with the effort to sleep. Today I volunteered and I enjoyed it so much. I was in my head alot, but I know this is gonna take practice. Today was a better day.
Today was a better day, so happy to read this! Everything is just different when we don’t have any particular goal... it leads us on a nice path. Well done Monica and be in touch!
Hi Monica. How are you doing now? It sounds like I am in a similar boat. When you say you did CBT-I, did you do an actual course? Or are you following Daniels course? I'm trying to figure out what to do. I have exhausted all other options as far as medication, TMS. Any suggestions? Thanks
JPMcFluffies better
Thank You Daniel. The solution is in simplicity
So true… Someone said that oddly, the simplest truths can often be the hardest to accept…so I’m glad this makes sense to you 😊
It truly is 😊
Thank you, Coach Daniel, for not one nor two but THREE techniques I can add to my anxiety combat toolbox (acronym ACT as it happens). Basically I will try treating my anxiety-riddled brain as if it is a needy child who lives in the attic space between my ears. I can do that! 🙏 😘 🙏 😘 🙏 😘
Thank you for your heartfelt comment! We want to assure you that your comments are seen and deeply appreciated. We're grateful that the message resonated with you and that it's contributing to a meaningful conversation. Your support means a lot, and we're glad it made sense to you. 💙
I am struggling so much. I’m so tired all the time and I feel like nobody around me can relate. Every night for the past 2 months I lay down restless with anxiety. I hate this life now. I used to be so happy and rested.
So sorry to read this just now Natalie, but, I’m glad you found your way here. If you just spend a little time here learning and listening to the stories, you’ll see things get easier and easier again. Rooting for you
I actually practiced this and still stayed up all night, but like I told you earlier, I was more accepting. I just don’t wanna have another night of no sleep. Have to work and really wanna get back to work. Don’t want the insomnia to rule my life anymore.
Monica, I'm glad you checked this out and you know...even the best guidance (not saying this is but just as an example!) can become an effort if there's intent attached! For example, if someone says "I tried this but I still didn't sleep", then that signals that they were trying something to sleep more. And whenever we do something with the intent of sleep, then we sleep less!
It's very paradoxical in the sleep world, the more you want to sleep, the less you get. The more you go towards that it's ok if you don't sleep that much, the easier sleep comes your way. Hang in there!!
Yes there was no intent of doing it to sleep, but rather to let go of my intentions.
That’s always the way...
Hi, Daniel! Ive been having trouble sleeping for a month now and even if I feel drowsy when I try to close my eyes these racing thoughts often invade my head which starting to make me feel that closing my eyes/sleeping is kinda making me sleepy. And oh, my kind of racing thoughts aren’t even anxious or intrusive thoughts but just random thoughts like for example… a certain event that has or (never even) happened in your life, conversations or voices of people you knew, songs that kept playing in your head, etc,. How should I handle that?
Hi Rhea,
Sorry to hear but glad you found the channel so soon. Check insomnia insight 363 on this topic, hope it will help 🙂
Hey Daniel, im doing a lot better thanks to your videos. i have one frightening thought that i still put away from time to time. the thought is that sleep deprivation can lead to psychosis state. so since i learned a lot on your program i tried to face the fear today and get some knowledge on what is actually a psychosis state. unfortunately i learned that indeed sleep deprivation and lack of sleep can play a role. how to deal with this thought? i am still fearing this eventhough i know i made many great days without sleep.
Hi Lars
I’m so glad things have gotten easier 😊! This is a common fear, we’ve talked about it many times but I’d check Heard online #4 and you can also just browse the channel. There’s no evidence this is true, but in the other hand if we try forcefully to convince ourselves, that can be like a shouting match! So often it helps to just allow frightened thoughts with a “thanks brain for the warning”.
It’s really hard to tell myself that I have SFI/ chronic insomnia without causing so much anxiety 😅 do you recommend mixing these 3 techniques or just sticking to one?
Absolutely understand!! And you know, just one thing that takes you from “I can’t have these thoughts!” to “I have this thought now, and it’s ok, I don’t have to try to change it”… that’s all you need 👍
My problem is kinda the opposite, my mind can't grasp a single thought. Its kinda hard to describe, it won't latch onto anything long enough to drift off to sleep as my thoughts continue on thier own.. its almost like a spinning feeling, its stuck on blank.. I hate it..
Hi, I see, and you know I think you’re onto something here. There’s no focus, thoughts drift quickly. Many think we should distract ourselves but I think actually when there’s some focus, that’s when we are in a more peaceful state.. now weirdly this could become a helpful focus, the lack thereof. If you take note of the stuck on blank, then absence of latching on, if you practice taking not of what’s happening inside without intent or judgement, I believe this could help much… hang in there and be in touch!
I have v similar. Hope you are doing better.
Hi Daniel, thanks for all the amazing content! I seem to have 2 kinds of racing thoughts, the negative ones are worries are anxiety based where i think about the likes of my bills and issues in my life. I am learning to challenege some of these negative assumptions so hopefully, I'll have less of them. The other kind of racing thoughts are excitement and imagination based espwcially since im a creative and my mind seems to be most brilliant at night. Some of these ideas are for social media, like what new contents i can have to draw attention, which im starting to question if its all worth it and what it says about my sense of self worth. But others ideas are genuinely creative concepts which gets my juices flowing. Does this mean i should let the ideas come and sleep till ive exhausted my mind? Would love to hear what you think about all of these types of racing thoughts i have. Sometimes i wknder if we would think so much if we lived in a small village in mother nature, seems modern society is just filled with too much stuff.
Hi! Anytime, so glad you’re liking it 🙂 I do believe there are sort of two kinds of racing thoughts, threat and opportunity derived ones.
Either our brain is trying to keep us safe because it thinks there’s a danger, coming up with lots of options. Or it is trying to keep us safe but taking advantage of some opportunity, coming up with lots of ideas.
It’s always about survival, which can mean not perishing or thriving!
@thesleepcoachschool8192 Brilliant! Ah that makes sense. Thanks for the feedback 😇
Hey I have bad night today as well
Hi Arjun, sorry to hear but glad you’re here.
You know, the first step, and most important one is learning. Understanding insomnia is the key.
I tell my clients that I don’t expect anyone to sleep better in the first week or even first few weeks. Good sleep comes after worrying less, and worrying less comes after there’s no more mystery, and that - that comes from education.
Hang in there and just make sure you learn, and sleep will come your way.
What if you don't have anxious thoughts, but are singing songs over and over and over? A bunch of songs that you've heard that day over and over?
Hi Lauren,
I think if we do anything with the idea to distract ourselves from how we feel, that can really amplify the emotions we want to get away from. But just singing because we feel like it, that’s nice!
Hello sir Daniel, I’ve been following you for a while now and I am really interested in your videos. I just want to ask I am consistently monitoring if I was able to sleep or not and as a result, it made me not sleep at all! Even in the day time I always thinking if “I can sleep this night or not” please help me what to do. Looking forward to your responses.
Hi! This is very common, I think when we don’t try to force ourselves to stop, things resolve by themselves
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thank you sir Daniel, so basically I just let time to pass and it will resolved this on his own? I have anxiety and its really hard for me.
@@superoli5308Hey are you better now?
@@teasaipi Yes! I’m better now.