STOP Chasing A Specific Person & Instead Do This!
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.พ. 2025
- This is the #1 mistake people make when trying to find love and relationships... This video will show you how to fix it!
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JULIEN's INSTAGRAM: / julienhimself
Julien Blanc (AKA JulienHimself) is a Swiss-born, U.S.-based self-help speaker, entrepreneur and transformational coach.
Since 2010, he has been traveling around the world and has personally coached tens of thousands of clients face to face... Empowering them to create massive success in their lives!
His record-breaking programs Transformation Mastery, Transformation Mastery Live, Transformation Mastery Live Advanced, Transformation Mastery Academy & Transformation Mastery Mentoring help people around the world achieve the HEALTH, WEALTH, RELATIONSHIPS & HAPPINESS they deserve!
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STOP Chasing A Specific Person & Instead Do This!
How to stop being needy! In this video, Julien Blanc (AKA Julien Himself) reveals how to stop chasing people! Discover how to stop being needy and insecure... By doing so, you will instantly become more attractive by giving off an attractive vibe, and people will chase you!
Discover how to learn social skills and how to improve your social skills.
#julienblanc #julienhimself
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Comment your biggest takeaway below! (I personally read through EVERY single comment)
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- Stop chasing a specific person and instead do this: th-cam.com/video/DDmqrbSdzPo/w-d-xo.html
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i wanted to thank you, every few months a video of you pops up, and while i made some progress with myself in the meantime it still always helps me on my journey, grounds me and helps me to refocus my perpspective.
thanks
That switch from a loving relationship, into a parenting relationship with yourself is absolute gold. As a parent this makes it so much more powerful and when used, it also changes the way you parent your children too, love it ❤
have a great day
God is our parent. We ask for things we'd like to have, and like a 3 year old sometimes we ask and beg and plead and stomp our feet for it, and we don't always get absolutely everything we'd want, and some people get so upset they claim God doesn't exist because they didn't get everything they demanded. But the parent cares to provide what's good for you, for your safety, and health. Now go enjoy your broccoli 😋
You solved 100 problems which were merely a deviation of a single one.
🙌
Yesss same thing i said. I was watching all these "how to" videos. "How to be accepted, how to not be awkward?" His! How to not give a shit what people think.
"The inner always colors the outer" I like this way of describing it
have a great day
This is probably the best "know thy self" seminars ever to hear. Thank you Julien.
have a great day
Seen alot of self love, let go, disattach recently .. but this vid right here is the power. Nothing beats higher learning on yourself. Thanks Julian
This targets me to the core.
Having an Anxious attachment with a dismissive avoidant.
I cried during this entire video at work luckily for the first couple hours its just me. I think i knew this within but it helps hearing it said like this being my own parent. I had no dad, lost my mom at 7 and grew up with an alcoholic aunt who never gave me motivation or love after a i was 10 or so
That was seriously, one of the most inspiring podcasts I heard in a while. That actually made me a lot of stuff to rethink about.
Great job man!
have a great day
One of the most genuine talks. So well narrated. So effortless and natural with the flow. Yet so profound and deep. Life changing 🙌🏻
This was so powerful, it really got to me, knowing how hard I'm on myself when that's how I was raised too. If the inner child is broken, everything we do will be negatively affected. To heal, we must do what our parents failed to do. Thank you for these words, you have no idea how many lives they'll change.
have a great day
@@djebarazidan103 You too, thank you
My dad really has a lot to answer for.
This speech is epic! Much praise and applause! 👏🔥
have a great day
this video really resonates with me. i needed my breakup to happen for me to realize the work i need to do within myself, the change i want for myself to be a better version of me. you have no idea how this video and other videos have helped me through this difficult time of my fresh breakup! thank you for being the person you are julien! this video really opened my eyes.
I've been watching your videos for a few day now, and they've been amazing, but this one in particular is the best motivational video I've ever seen.
The simple switch in how you have your inner voice act, is such a tremendous difference. I was going down that negativity road, that inner asshole voice that never thinks you're good enough, and that's supposed to somehow make you do better, like trying to earn its approval or something. But nah, it doesn't have to be like that. It should be someone you like to hear from. Someone who supports you, celebrates you, someone you can have FUN with. A simple change in mindset like that can be life changing.
The last couple days I was watching your stuff, and it was reasonating with me, but it didn't necessarily stick. I couldn't remember parts of it, and in the day-to-day moments, I wasn't really taking your advice in. Having a supportive inner voice, who can be there to literally tell me this stuff throughout the day, remind me about relaxing and being chill and letting go of the front in order to just do stuff and have a good time, that's such an advantage to have and is probably "the answer" that I've been looking for for months that people usually say "there's no answer, you just gotta work hard!" But no, it's a simple change in the way you think
Thank you for this.
I needed to hear this.
I have always drilled myself to be the best version of my self.
I keep desiring love and social contact with others.
Thank you for showing me that i crave this from myself and from now on i will support and be my own best friend.
I just celebrated this realisation with myself 😄.
It is so easy to forget yourself sometimes.
That's were the neediness came from.
Thanks bro for showing this 🙏❤️
I just found your channel and i wanted to say thank you.
I just went through a soul crushing break up, someone I decided to call my "soul mate" fell out of love with me because of a bunch of reasons that destroyed my confidence, and I knew I wasn't perfect, but I had no idea how toxic our relationship was due to both of our confidence issues, mine especially.
Learning that I am in a relationship with myself is easy, but learning how it works and how I can improve it and build myself as my own parent has got to be the best lesson for myself that I can take from my previous relationship, and from you today.
Thank you
You're so welcome. Glad my content has been helpful for you... And welcome to the channel! 🙏
have a great day
He bangs it right home here. Lots of people live like this and destroy peoples lives trying to make themselves happy.
I love this message. I need to take care of myself better and doing that will help me be better to others.
have a great day
Frankly one of the best speech ever . Thanks YT and the universe for randomly listen it
Really useful information, thanks for sharing it. I cannot emphasize that we must (the readers and me included) put this into practice! I sadly fall too much into the trap of watching videos like this, and forgetting them a few days later. Take notes, and read them every once in a while.
have a great day
@@djebarazidan103 thanks man, i hope you have a great day too
Some people are afraid to ask for help when they need. It has to be balanced like everything in life.
(00:00) - Visualizing Your Ideal Partner
(00:43) - Turning the Mirror Inward: Being Your Ideal Partner
(01:06) - The Relationship with Yourself
(01:31) - Auditing Your Self-Relationship
(02:38) - Neediness in Relationships
(03:39) - Fear of Loss and Manipulation in Relationships
(04:22) - Craving vs. Healthy Intention in Relationships
(05:21) - Re-Parenting Yourself: Inner Child Healing
(06:27) - Parenting Yourself in Life’s Challenges
(07:41) - The Concept of Your Higher Self
(08:22) - Creating Boundaries with Negative Self-Talk
(09:03) - Letting Go and Quieting the Mind
(10:22) - Building True Inner Security
(12:07) - Dating Yourself: Spending Time with Yourself
(14:14) - Supporting Yourself Through Risks
(15:01) - Celebrating Yourself and Small Wins
(17:33) - Different Motivational Fuels: Fear vs. Love
(19:20) - Fear-based Parenting vs. Loving Support
Your best video ever Julian. It's the essence of every personal and interpersonal problem and a solution to it all. I am on track and it resonates well with me
Hat off !
have a great day
I love the relationship with yourself takes. Haven't heard much about it and it's very true. "If you don't love yourself, how the hell are you going to love someone else"
So many people dismiss this, but I wonder how deep those people go with themselves.....
have a great day
With the rate of the staggering masses glued to their phones being distracted, you can forget about the idea of most people going deep.... Look around you.
12:31 "Can you actually sit with yourself, for ten minutes... doing nothing? Just hanging out with you? For a lot of people, that's absolute hell. They can't. Well, that's what it's like to date YOU."
Good thing I love me lol
Thanks for the incredible reminder and the succinctness of the message!
What do you do when your needs are sexual and desiring mental, emotional, physical intimacy? Romance? Those are things that you can only get from another person.
What if you want to truly KNOW someone else and you actually do want to give them happiness?
I think the positive definition of loneliness is the desire to share happiness with someone else. I don't think loneliness be narrowed down just to the definition of "you're just not enjoying the relationship with yourself" ya feel me?
If we can truly be happy on our own, and we didn't NEED relationships at all, then I don't think we'd even be in relationships. Because they're a headache. We are meant to need each other, I think. We're not complete by ourselves.
I also think "neediness" can easily be a gaslight by people who don't want to contribute to the relationship the way you are and they don't desire the same things as you.
have a great day
@@djebarazidan103😭😭
You have made multiple solid points which I would love to touch on, but I literally do not have the energy right now. However, I do want to ask; Do you truly know yourself? and do you want to give yourself happiness?
Agreed 💯 humans need connection and each other. We learn from others as reflections, they show us what's truly going on within us. If we didn't desire connection, love, physical touch etc. the human race would cease to exist. Because we'd all be loners not needing ot wanting anything from anyone and staying away from one another 😅
introspection videos are the most helpful king of videos you can make for use........ love
OMG I am a weirdo…I have always and love to go out on my own, travel, drives, dinner, coffee etc.. unless I’m in good company of a few friends I don’t seek out others all the time and can fill my own void.
Love my own company !!
so, can you hold a relationship too? since you are such good company.
My ideal partner: looks very good, happy to see me every time, is at least as... adventurous as I am in the sack, wants to go out but hasn't got the drive most of the time, is mentally stable, is real.
Get a dog...you will be 95% happier.
@@GregtheGrey6969 yup the dog is real, that fantasy isn't....
this was an incredibly valuable video
Yes! You gotta love yourself first! Yay! 😮❤🎉!
This is your best video so far, from what I have seen! Truely amazing and important information! The core problem and solution right there 🙏❤️
Truly. (Welcome to Stupid illogical English language! Dropping letters that should be there, and adding ones that don't need to.....for e.g. a in aesthetics! and dropping 'e' in Truly! )
You'll have millions subscribers in no time.
Thank you once again for sharing encouraging speech and wise words to add different perspective
have a great day
I want to do what you do, help other people live their best lives and most authentic selves. Thank you for inspiring me and other people ❤
Let me know if you'd like to join my team: certification.transformationmastery.com 👌
have a great day
Thanks!
🙏🙏🙏
Everyone is afraid of losing said thing when in reality, nothing last forever
What a logical sentence to my profound existence, that was golden
have a great day
Very encouraging message. Thank you🙏
You are so welcome!
have a great day
This may be the best explanation of the all too commonly underexplained and misunderstood phrase "love yourself"
have a great day
we would if you stop bombing the comments with this dumb message!@@djebarazidan103
2:57 - 5:10 - 14:59 - 17:39 - 20:45 - 21:32
I got the highest grades in a test once and got told by my aunt who is a teacher "this is the best you can do?" infront of her students taking tuitions with her
great talk and also the architecture is perfect - That must be in Britain somewhere.
I LOVE your videos. thank you a lot! You're energy is everything
Very enlightening video from you Julien, I respect what ur doing !
im just here to find the person i was before my severe depression and healing again because i cant feel myself as myself and idk exactly what to do about this
Remember if someone chase anyone that purely implies manipulation .. few people ll have strategic approach to what they need not they want or love ...they ll put in a position where u can't do anything about urself ,just being needy and theyr doing it . Its not happening .. u know there ll ease in happening and force in doing or making it .. this makes difference .. btwn love, life and distractions , manipulations anything that hurts u is not love .. anything that makes uneasy is not life supporting thing .
amazing houston event! Im that Asian dude in the front row seat! best free seats in the house!
Memo: I look externally for people to meet my needs
I love you even more now xD Just read your shirt and I love a good Blink reference. One of my favourites of theirs too :D
There are only a few videos that I instruct my calendar to repeatedly monthly email me. This is one. The School of Life Fear of Lonliness video is another.
1 minute in dude hit me hard with the “am i being that for me?”
love the blink ref !
This video is literally so good! It came into my life right when I needed to hear all of these beautiful pearls of wisdom. He’s totally turned my day around within the first five minutes of this video. Thank you.
have a great day
Every video of his should have millions of views each video
Thank you❤❤❤
Sooo good and sooo true. I do agree with any single word! ❤
Thank you. I needed that this morning. 🙏
A few years back I thought about what love is, and came up with it being us seeing in other people what we want, maybe have, in ourselves, but for whatever reason we can't yet embrace it. We all have the potential to be anything, good or bad, but some of us (including me, still working on it) can't quite parse being enough. My trouble is I can't let go, even of stuff I recognise as unhelpful. I was abused as a child and as an adult, and I can't shake what that taught me (people are unsafe, I keep attracting people who break me, I'm never not broken coz I'm still traumatised to fuck, etc) It's hard to love yourself when you still have abusive voices echoing in your subconscious, even when those voices aren't your own and you know they're untrue but they're all you've got so they must be coz people keep coming to those conclusions. Having a mind is wild. But that said, shitheads never think they're wrong and never seem to suffer, so the fact I'm struggling with this stuff kinda proves I'm at least halfway decent :P Mm, tangly shit, thinking.
watch his transformation mastery video. letting go is about realizing what is running u and asking it why. u arent the mind. if the mind tells u that u are shit recognize it and say to the mind shut the fuck up not true. step your foot down. if it isnt helpful in the moment.
but with every thought also audit and keep asking yourself why do u believe in that. for example your mind says: you are shit. ask it a shadow question: why does a part of me think im shit? and just feel. maybe an answer comes up maybe not but ur taking charge out of it and killing that inner resistance. after that the believe will stop coming up until it doesnt come up at all anymore.
everything u think u hate a part of u loves it. even if it hurts that hurtness wants to protect u from stuff u run away your whole life. by experiencing that feeling it and getting to the cause u let go.
as said before: watch transformation mastery and hapiness manifesto by julien and a big point to remember: at a core u are happy joyful and everything u want to be, there is an emotional guidance system u still rely on and u will experience fear anger grief etc. the rest of ur life. but ur relationship to it changes.
accept urself and remember: its not about what u add in your life its about what u remove.
have a great day
Halfway decent? No, you’re a gem. You’re beautiful, healthy, loveable, and deserve the very best of everything! Never forget that! Ever! ❤❤❤
You crushed it Julien!
Oh man, I still have so much work to do! 😂 This is empowering, thank you!
Nice video, I have heard the words self love but the meaning I understood today. Thank you so much.
Celebrate yourself.
Julien,
This is one of your BEST VIDEOS!
I dare say...A MASTERPIECE!!
have a great day
if anyone stuck to how imagine who is ideal partner or who could be? There is only two point in life, one is phisical comfort and second is mental comfort, wright? So for phisical you should know your size, blood type, genetic memory( birthday and things what happened without choice) and than mentaly phsychotype! There is only two intro and extra and than just go through true and you are in love but ignorence is hell where i am living almost 37 years and i just have shame to myself who i am out!
thank you so much. your mind parent analogy is incredible. im looking forward to making progress with it.
How about i need love..i can be whit my self. But i need love like every human bean.
Thank you, Julien, for uploading these clips! xxx
You're so welcome! Glad they're helpful!
Thanks this video was really helpful for me
Thank you big brother!! I really appreciate you!! Everytime you come up with some perspectives and booooooooom! Thanking you alot!!
have a great day
The best explanation I encountered
Julien, one day I'm gonna meet you. Not at a seminar, not at a gathering. But when the time is right, and by then I'll send you a book that'll change your life. I ought to return the favor
What book?
The blink 182 lyrics on his shirt🔥
In a very technical way to describe what he has achieved..
It’s overcoming your emotional state in such a way that you are in CONTROL of your CORTISOL response to whatever engagement or interaction your in.
What happens with the majority of people. Is they put themselves out there or engage in a conversation and almost immediately they get a flare up in cortisol! That will immediately increase your heart rate, less blood will be pumping to your frontal cortex as your body prepares for a fight or flight response, making you feel anxious and nervous while at the same time cutting your brain off! (You ever can’t think of anything to say?) Your voice loses its impact and effectiveness and your overall communication just becomes weak and less impactful.
That’s about it. That’s the whole secret.
Work THROUGH the anxiety and emotional buildup you have within yourself. Release it. Then learn to be in control of your stress response. More specifically learn to manage your cortisol response.
That’s it. The world will open up to you by mastering just this one idea.
have a great day
The dude with the "She's for the street" hat in the crowd, really brings this all together 😂😂
Ty for so interesting and insightful speech
Thank you so much for this! Do you have any books you recommend that go even deeper into the topic?
have a great day
im grateful for all of your content
Thanks Julien ❤
This is quality, this clear/sharp/true/pragmatisk
Thanks! Your videos always give me a lot to think about… in general and in relation to my own life…
Always very productive! :)
Great! I apreciate your take on the spiritual teachings in a way more down to earth
have a great day
One of your finest yet
T-shirt!! Love that 😁
Love this auditorium
Amazing as always❤
Thank you! Glad this resonates!
You are doing a great job man lots of love to you ❤️
have a great day
Ok but then what activities can I do that equals me dating myself? You took the 🍿 movies🎥 thing away, I go running for about 2 1/2 hours I do 12 miles, but what else qualifies as things to do?
Wow this video is super helpful and a great summary of what being enlighten is, kinda
Thank you
Dude!!! Julien's wearin a blink-182 shirt!!! Dudes an OG #respect
what if you are nowhere near where you wanna be in life and you want to achieve greatness , how can you cheer yourself up when you still think you havent made it yet
Absolutely perfect video. I love this. Thank you!
have a great day
ahahah love the shirt. it took me a minute but the voice insoide moye yedd made it click.
Hey Julien, what are your thoughts on cold showers and breathing exercises, and daily schedules
Ok
If you complete yourself
Why do you want or need anyone?
The logic follows then you should stay alone. A complete person doesn’t need anyone. And I don’t think we can complete ourselves.
If you complete yourself then stay alone. But I think we are installed with lonely.exe
I think we CAN more thoroughly complete ourselves hit it sucks much much less with help from another person. Maybe I’m codependent for this but I think humans just have this void of “what do” and it doesn’t really get filled.
I can take myself on dates do what I want etc, but I feel it’s kind of soulless and selfish to not crave need or even want someone else to share that with. If you can eat ice cream and not feel lonely or take s bubba baff, then you are not lonely. Matter of fact you probably don’t know what real darkness even is.
Everyone needs love, the shit is like air. Ofc you take care of yourself but it’s not the same and never will be. If a bath or a nap cures it, you’re not lonely.
No one is literally ever complete.
You can be ok with being alone but lonely can be hell. Lonely sucks. We are pack animals, we need others like breathing and I’m tired of people saying otherwise
@@taylorbee4010I agree 💯 I enjoy my own company and I have no trouble spending days alone, going travelling alone, cooking for myself and enjoying meals alone etc but I crave connection and to share these things at times too. I think a balance of both is the best way.
I love how you said that you have to be that for yourself before searching for that in a person I agree I’ve always looked for what I need within and someone else and it ended up being worse speakers. I did it give it to myself first. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you keep doing what you’re doing is helping and healing a a lot of people I really love listening to your videos❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
This isn't a bit?
Haha. Julian finally returned to the topic of love
Real right plenty sooo differents unuques issues cases challenge and sooo pEsE calm RESPECT is point.realright
Someone explain how self care kills loneliness because it doesn’t. I’ve tried it. We need other people like air.
No connection can kill you like a cancer from the inside out.
I don’t understand this notion, it feels selfish. How can you fill a spot made for another, alone?
There’s a difference between being alone and sitting with oneself and true desperate hateful loneliness. And it can happen around other people as well, more often than not brewing left out makes you feel alone.