I always go to my co-worker and try to work it out as a grown up but I have found out, the hard way, that others won't pay me the same courtesy or that they don't want to have a conversation.
I'm always wary of the one coworker who knows about "everything" and "everyone". I told her once, "you know more about me than I know about myself huh"?
So I been working with the same people for years. Several are perpetually late. Several are extremely slow. Several take shortcuts. It affects everyone, eventually. I used to complain to the boss, worry and whine about it all and had a breakdown over it. Nowadays, I let it go. If I have to work overtime because of any one of those issues, so be it. Their issues are none of my business. After all this time it cannot possibly be a secret, and it cannot possibly be a problem. And after watching this video I am sure I do something that bothers someone.
So true glad I work from home. I don't have to listen or have drama queens or gossiping coming to me no more. Dr's office and office workers are notorious when it comes to drama and gossiping.
Gossip in the workplace is a pervasive issue that can have a profound impact on the dynamics of a team, the morale of employees, and the overall health of an organization. Understanding why gossip starts and spreads is crucial in addressing its negative effects and creating a healthier work environment. Gossip often emerges in workplaces for a variety of reasons, including a lack of communication, unclear expectations, and power imbalances. It can start innocently, but once it gains momentum, it can become a destructive force that undermines trust, breeds negativity, and damages relationships. One of the primary reasons gossip begins in the workplace is a lack of open and transparent communication. When information is scarce or unclear, employees may feel the need to fill in the gaps with speculation and rumors. This is especially true in situations where leadership is not forthcoming with important information, or when there is ambiguity about company goals, policies, or decisions. Without clear communication from management, employees may turn to each other to make sense of what's happening, which can lead to the spread of rumors and gossip. Power dynamics and organizational hierarchies also play a significant role in the spread of gossip. In environments where there is a concentration of power in a few individuals, those who feel excluded or disenfranchised may resort to gossip as a means of expressing frustration, gaining attention, or seeking camaraderie with colleagues. Gossip can also be a tool for individuals to gain influence or manipulate others in a way that advances their personal agenda. In workplaces with toxic cultures, those in power may encourage or even indulge gossip to control information or weaken opponents. This creates a cycle where gossip becomes an acceptable form of communication, rather than a harmful behavior to be avoided. The social nature of humans is another contributing factor to workplace gossip. People are naturally inclined to share information and engage in social interactions, and gossip often serves as a way to bond with others. In some cases, employees gossip because it provides a sense of belonging, shared experience, or validation within a group. It can be seen as a way of navigating social dynamics and staying connected with colleagues. However, when gossip takes on a negative tone, such as discussing someone's personal life or spreading unverified information, it can quickly spiral into a harmful practice that undermines trust and morale. Additionally, work-related stress, competition, and insecurities can fuel gossip. In high-pressure environments, employees may resort to gossip as a coping mechanism to relieve stress, distract from their own responsibilities, or vent frustrations. Gossip can become a way for individuals to feel empowered or regain a sense of control when they feel powerless in their work environment. In competitive settings, gossip may also be used as a tool to undermine colleagues or weaken a perceived rival, further escalating workplace tensions. Once gossip starts, it can spread quickly due to the informal nature of workplace communication. Conversations in break rooms, hallways, and even online chat groups can quickly escalate rumors and misinformation. With the rise of digital communication tools, gossip can spread beyond the confines of the office, reaching a wider audience and potentially causing greater damage to reputations and relationships. To mitigate gossip and its negative impact, organizations need to foster a culture of transparency and trust. Clear and regular communication from leadership is essential to prevent speculation and reduce the likelihood of rumors. Providing employees with consistent updates on company decisions, goals, and policies can help eliminate gaps in information that might lead to gossip. Furthermore, organizations should promote a culture of respect and professionalism, where gossip is not tolerated. Leaders should set an example by addressing gossip directly, emphasizing the importance of constructive communication, and creating channels for employees to express concerns or ask questions without fear of retribution. Training employees on the negative consequences of gossip and encouraging open, respectful dialogue can also help reduce its spread. In conclusion, gossip starts and spreads in the workplace due to a combination of factors, including a lack of communication, power dynamics, social pressures, and stress. While it may initially seem like a harmless form of interaction, gossip can have serious repercussions on workplace culture, employee morale, and productivity. By addressing the root causes of gossip and fostering a culture of transparency, respect, and open communication, organizations can reduce its prevalence and create a healthier, more collaborative work environment.
Hold down, cowboy. People that hate unsolicited advice (aka have oppositional defiant disorder) have the instinct to gossip and not want to fix the problem. It is in their behaviour, no matter what company they have.
Wouldn't gossip also be affected by communication between management and the team? In my experience, gossip tends to be worse in workplaces where communication from leadership is non-existant, and it's a few employees spreading theories of what's going on in the company as "fact".
I have left my full time permanent job today without telling anyone and no notice. Was so toxic in there. I was a target for months. Tipping point was when a toxic coworker creeped over the toilet walls and and spied on me doing my buisness. Then he went around and gossiped about it. Everyone was giving me the side eyes and funny looks. Nobody bothered to ask why he did that but rather talk about me and doing a number 2 in the bathroom. Was having a panic attack and anxiety. So i walked fast into my car and drove off. It was so bad. I drove off today
I’m so sorry you went through this, small minded cruel people they will face there karma one day, I’m going through this at work and it’s horrible, sending you a healing hug
I do think the worst of a co-worker, but not with one or two instances. It has to be a pattern before I think negatively of them. I don’t gossip. I don’t speak to the person Im upset with, nor anyone else either. Mainly because if I tell someone, they would tell everyone what I said. Is this why no one talks to me at any of my jobs?? Because I don’t gossip?
Sadly yes...the only way to win a crowd is through gossip unfortunately, but don’t stoop to their level though Keep your head up and be yourself always and the right person will come along 🙂
Joe ~ Every time I need it the most, you magically appear in my "inbox" to provide me with insightful inspiration. I am blessed to know you and I am blessed to learn from you. Thank you for all you do to help us be better and do better.
High-performers don't want to be drawn into workplace dramas, which only harm efficiency, energy, motivation, focus, flow and joy; only a strong ethos and a good health kan resist the destructive forces harming performance. The Pareto distribution isn't merely reflecting hunky-dory worklife; unspoken part of the package is the need ta fend off disruptive forces trying to intimidate you and your performance. Keeping the trajectory and trying to enjoy yourself in the face of adversity, is the utmost rebellious act against drama, gossipers and chaos.
13:26 What happens when we assume good intent from those who have bad intentions? As much as I want to believe that everybody has good intentions it’s hard when people take advantage over you for thinking like this. But when I try and be wary of people who could be doing so and confront them about it, I’m the one who is in the wrong. It just feels like I’m never going to figure this out...
Awesome. Recently I have started to let the other party know of "how I feel" and ask them "why they do what they do". Needless to say I ask for feedback. So far it has been working very well.
In a democracy is it possible for a politician to get elected without gossiping about his/her opponent? I am not saying that it is right but it seems inevitable.
This why i ignore them at work 😂😂😂 because i knows is something wrong with those people who gossips Um glad i saw this veido Because it made me understand the situation I see this at almost every work place i go
I can’t stand being the rescuer. One co worker would always come to me and talk about how frustrating it was to work with so and so and all I could think to tell her was, “did you let her know all of this.” It’s selfish to put that on me to. I don’t need all that drama tell the person you have that problem with.
What do you do if you actively do this but others don't? Consistently. It can seem like they enjoy the drama triangle. I've run out of ways to see it from another perspective. It's a daily battle.
Excellent talk Joe! I loved seeing your keynote at Nextech conference too! By the way, applying your two rules - assume good intentions and confront an issue with the offender directly are ingredients for a good marriage too! LOL
I remember the lady next door. She tape recorded me. I was five. She played me crying at her daughter's birthday party. The old woman said, "Only Laurie would do that." I called her many years later. I told her to apologize to me. She did. The woman is dead so that I don't have to worry about her talk talk talk.
First off this is a great video. However I disagree with a lot of things I’ve been told from numerous therapist that I am extremely hard on myself. Probably someone with low self-esteem. Which would mean I don’t favor myself. Do I think negatively about others? Sure.
Intelligent individuals are more prone to underestimate themselves, self-critical they are, than less intelligent; one aspect of the Dunning-Kruger effect. The other aspect being making more favourable assumptions of the less intelligent than motivated by actual abilities.
Realistically, going to the person directly does not work well. I’ve seen people do it. It leaves awkwardness between the two people. There are no good options.
It would require a decent degree of emotional intelligence and effective communication on both sides for it to go well. Also some form of outcome/resolution needs to come out the discussion to avoid awkwardness. And all of this would require both parties to somewhat be robotically neutral which is a skill you develop over time when constantly faced with interpersonal conflict and chaos.
What you are about to read is not in my head nor is it a movie. It's a new reality for me at the job. There's something strange going on at the site in reference to me as an employee. Beyond the shadow of doubt, I know that someone has been going around defaming my good name and character in the building. As you know, this act is against the law. This is called defamation of character. Am I right? Why do I say this? Many of the people who have been friendly to me for more than two years have suddenly stopped communicating, especially when I am posted in the lobby. This new attitude towards me started about 5 weeks ago. I firmly believe that many of the employees from various departments are trying to make me feel unwanted hoping that I would leave the site. I spoke to several of my coworkers about what is happening to me. They told me to simply ignore the silent treatment, do my job and go home. Of course, this is easier said than done. There is a group effort to make me feel unwanted and uncomfortable. If I did something wrong or offended anyone, I would like to know exactly what I did that would compel a group of employees who have been saying hello to me for more than two years to suddenly stop all communications. By the way, this is only happening to me and not my coworkers. The silent treatment is only directed to me when posted in the lobby. I don't know who started the rumor, why the rumor was started and what exactly was spread about me. The rumor has ruined my good name and character not only in the lobby but on different floors and into several departments. If one or two employees decided that they no longer wanted to talk to me, I would not bother to post my story here. However, the number of people who continue to give me the silent treatment grows on a daily basis. Everyday, without exaggeration, a new employee is added to the DON'T TALK TO ME list, if you know what I mean. It is hard to work and be ignored. I make a decent salary and so walking away from the job is not a good idea. Questions: 1. What is the best way to handle the silent treatment at the job? 2. What would you do in my situation? 3. What is the main reason for giving an employee the silent treatment? Thank you.
You might have a legal case for court-libel so I guess it’s just up to you if you can be bothered dragging it through the courts or not. Notorious office-gossips are a menace to society so I’d try and do something about it if I were you. In the meantime get your records and overall documentation straight.
@@Anonymous_Anon882 : 1. They will deny ever doing anything wrong. There's no evidence of wrong doing without reviewing the cameras, which they will simply avoid. 2. My boss is more interested in keeping legal matters away from the client. Contract security companies rely on the money paid by the clients. The lawfirm is one of our clients. 3. The simple thing to do is to relocate me. This is what my boss is working on. 4. Currently waiting for my boss to find me a new site. The waiting is killing me with anxiety. 5. Last week I only worked two days, which shall reflect on my check for week ending 2/10/23. Not a good way to start a new year.
@@guidofeliz8384 I’m in no doubt whatsoever that the boss wants to get you out. Often-times what happens in those environments is that when one blabbermouth-idiots decides to start mud-slinging someone’s name and spreading malicious rumours about them the whole environment becomes icy to them and uncomfortable in their presence so the easiest thing for them is to ostracise and try and bar you from coming in at that particular time. In the meantime I’d still keep a written tabulation of what’s been happening since the new year and if it gets to court (at your discretion and as you wish) you can point out that the boss is trying to move you on in consequence of that and more because s/he’s more concerned about the company looking bad than actually looking out for you. Get that from your boss in writing, say you want it for your personal clarity and assurance and take it from there if you do decide you want it to be a legal matter. Hang tight in the meantime. I really hope it works out for you.
@@Anonymous_Anon882 : My boss does not work for the lawfirm. The lawfirm is just one of 30 or 40 accounts that the company I work has as a client. Understand? My boss is not trying to get me out. He even promised to find me another location. So, I am waiting for that to happen. My boss said that he will have a schedule for me this weekend, a work schedule that most likely will begin Sunday night or Monday night.
@@guidofeliz8384 right, I see. Well, good luck dirt that in the meantime but I’d still give a bit of legal thought about what to do with those co-workers, even in the absence of much evidence.
I think women and men should support each other more not just say it live it. 95% of Gossip is not realistic just because one person hates you they tell the next person and so on so it spreads like wild fire. Also if you say something negative to a face but that person is a stranger to you, like a neighbour, why would you believe or assume something negative about them when you don't know them . people make assumptions and they are not realistic to that person, its what make the world seem a little crazy in a crazy chaotic world.. Especially toxic when they try to damage your good reputation, they shame you, or you break up with someone and they shame you, because they are bitter about your leaving them so they try to damage your reputation, as they don't want you to move on without them. Sometimes your friends can hurt your relationship inadvertanlty. Help spread this word and on other social media outlasts this is Psychology. Understanding this it will be come universal lnaguage.Lets change this landscape to a more positive world.
At least it's not about me 😅 Ya right, if they gossip about someone else, trust me they will gossip about you too behind your back. You're cobworkers are not your friends. Don't be delusional.
Excellent way of explaining the Karpman drama triangle - would have been lovely to have heard you mention the empowerment triangle - malicious gossip is destructive - not all gossip/forms of communication is destructive. I wish you peace.
All gossip could be toxic to tell you the truth. Some people just don’t like to be talked about behind their back my dad does it with family members I never talk to it’s like why are you telling everyone my business instead of just loving me? Sorry but talking behind someone’s back at all isn’t loving that person it’s still at the end of the day gossiping rather it be good or bad.
I'm always weary of poor management and a cheers like workplace.if there is over 40 employees and trust I'm outside alone I know nobody's name even after months,the guy who knows everyones life and names.then the overly quiet one.noway....
I have a 10 year old that was once 3 or 4 They are uniquely terrible at hide and seek Probably a good thing Today he could probably grab an uber on his phone and the game might cross state lines We don't play that anymore
I always go to my co-worker and try to work it out as a grown up but I have found out, the hard way, that others won't pay me the same courtesy or that they don't want to have a conversation.
That happened to me this week
Or when you do go to the co-worker they won't take responsibility for their issues and nothing changes.
@@kathyk-f5iyup. She projected everything.
I'm always wary of the one coworker who knows about "everything" and "everyone". I told her once, "you know more about me than I know about myself huh"?
That ONE coworker ,is the problem, they start the rumor train.
They need to be fired.
AMEN!!!
😂😂😂😂😂
So I been working with the same people for years. Several are perpetually late. Several are extremely slow. Several take shortcuts. It affects everyone, eventually. I used to complain to the boss, worry and whine about it all and had a breakdown over it. Nowadays, I let it go. If I have to work overtime because of any one of those issues, so be it. Their issues are none of my business. After all this time it cannot possibly be a secret, and it cannot possibly be a problem. And after watching this video I am sure I do something that bothers someone.
Same here. I stopped saying nothing not worth of my time. I come across their errors I just step over it not my problem.
You have plenty of flaws that you are not even aware of, so picking on your coworkers is plain hypocrisy.
How many of you are the cause of gossip? I bet most people watching this don't spread it but want to understand why it is happening to them.
Well everyone has Haters you can't please everyone
So true glad I work from home. I don't have to listen or have drama queens or gossiping coming to me no more. Dr's office and office workers are notorious when it comes to drama and gossiping.
Good to know that, what kind of work do you do from home??? I also wAnt to switch to it as I am tired of physical job
YEP💯I'M SO JEALOUS🥴YOU GET TO WORK FROM HOME
😂😂. Nursing homes are the worst😂
No such thing , work from home, it's an oxymoron.
Working from home is not an answer.
This is awesome! Many people don’t understand why people do what they do they just see their side of it and that’s it. Love this statement
Gossip in the workplace is a pervasive issue that can have a profound impact on the dynamics of a team, the morale of employees, and the overall health of an organization. Understanding why gossip starts and spreads is crucial in addressing its negative effects and creating a healthier work environment. Gossip often emerges in workplaces for a variety of reasons, including a lack of communication, unclear expectations, and power imbalances. It can start innocently, but once it gains momentum, it can become a destructive force that undermines trust, breeds negativity, and damages relationships.
One of the primary reasons gossip begins in the workplace is a lack of open and transparent communication. When information is scarce or unclear, employees may feel the need to fill in the gaps with speculation and rumors. This is especially true in situations where leadership is not forthcoming with important information, or when there is ambiguity about company goals, policies, or decisions. Without clear communication from management, employees may turn to each other to make sense of what's happening, which can lead to the spread of rumors and gossip.
Power dynamics and organizational hierarchies also play a significant role in the spread of gossip. In environments where there is a concentration of power in a few individuals, those who feel excluded or disenfranchised may resort to gossip as a means of expressing frustration, gaining attention, or seeking camaraderie with colleagues. Gossip can also be a tool for individuals to gain influence or manipulate others in a way that advances their personal agenda. In workplaces with toxic cultures, those in power may encourage or even indulge gossip to control information or weaken opponents. This creates a cycle where gossip becomes an acceptable form of communication, rather than a harmful behavior to be avoided.
The social nature of humans is another contributing factor to workplace gossip. People are naturally inclined to share information and engage in social interactions, and gossip often serves as a way to bond with others. In some cases, employees gossip because it provides a sense of belonging, shared experience, or validation within a group. It can be seen as a way of navigating social dynamics and staying connected with colleagues. However, when gossip takes on a negative tone, such as discussing someone's personal life or spreading unverified information, it can quickly spiral into a harmful practice that undermines trust and morale.
Additionally, work-related stress, competition, and insecurities can fuel gossip. In high-pressure environments, employees may resort to gossip as a coping mechanism to relieve stress, distract from their own responsibilities, or vent frustrations. Gossip can become a way for individuals to feel empowered or regain a sense of control when they feel powerless in their work environment. In competitive settings, gossip may also be used as a tool to undermine colleagues or weaken a perceived rival, further escalating workplace tensions.
Once gossip starts, it can spread quickly due to the informal nature of workplace communication. Conversations in break rooms, hallways, and even online chat groups can quickly escalate rumors and misinformation. With the rise of digital communication tools, gossip can spread beyond the confines of the office, reaching a wider audience and potentially causing greater damage to reputations and relationships.
To mitigate gossip and its negative impact, organizations need to foster a culture of transparency and trust. Clear and regular communication from leadership is essential to prevent speculation and reduce the likelihood of rumors. Providing employees with consistent updates on company decisions, goals, and policies can help eliminate gaps in information that might lead to gossip.
Furthermore, organizations should promote a culture of respect and professionalism, where gossip is not tolerated. Leaders should set an example by addressing gossip directly, emphasizing the importance of constructive communication, and creating channels for employees to express concerns or ask questions without fear of retribution. Training employees on the negative consequences of gossip and encouraging open, respectful dialogue can also help reduce its spread.
In conclusion, gossip starts and spreads in the workplace due to a combination of factors, including a lack of communication, power dynamics, social pressures, and stress. While it may initially seem like a harmless form of interaction, gossip can have serious repercussions on workplace culture, employee morale, and productivity. By addressing the root causes of gossip and fostering a culture of transparency, respect, and open communication, organizations can reduce its prevalence and create a healthier, more collaborative work environment.
Hold down, cowboy.
People that hate unsolicited advice (aka have oppositional defiant disorder) have the instinct to gossip and not want to fix the problem. It is in their behaviour, no matter what company they have.
Wouldn't gossip also be affected by communication between management and the team? In my experience, gossip tends to be worse in workplaces where communication from leadership is non-existant, and it's a few employees spreading theories of what's going on in the company as "fact".
Exactly! This is what happens.
True....
I have left my full time permanent job today without telling anyone and no notice. Was so toxic in there. I was a target for months. Tipping point was when a toxic coworker creeped over the toilet walls and and spied on me doing my buisness. Then he went around and gossiped about it. Everyone was giving me the side eyes and funny looks.
Nobody bothered to ask why he did that but rather talk about me and doing a number 2 in the bathroom.
Was having a panic attack and anxiety. So i walked fast into my car and drove off.
It was so bad. I drove off today
I’m so sorry you went through this, small minded cruel people they will face there karma one day, I’m going through this at work and it’s horrible, sending you a healing hug
I do think the worst of a co-worker, but not with one or two instances. It has to be a pattern before I think negatively of them. I don’t gossip. I don’t speak to the person Im upset with, nor anyone else either. Mainly because if I tell someone, they would tell everyone what I said. Is this why no one talks to me at any of my jobs?? Because I don’t gossip?
Sadly yes...the only way to win a crowd is through gossip unfortunately, but don’t stoop to their level though
Keep your head up and be yourself always and the right person will come along 🙂
Joe ~ Every time I need it the most, you magically appear in my "inbox" to provide me with insightful inspiration. I am blessed to know you and I am blessed to learn from you. Thank you for all you do to help us be better and do better.
I needed to hear this, is like heaven in the sky
Lol. This was incredible. Words cannot express how much of an amazing speaker and related you made this
High-performers don't want to be drawn into workplace dramas, which only harm efficiency, energy, motivation, focus, flow and joy; only a strong ethos and a good health kan resist the destructive forces harming performance. The Pareto distribution isn't merely reflecting hunky-dory worklife; unspoken part of the package is the need ta fend off disruptive forces trying to intimidate you and your performance. Keeping the trajectory and trying to enjoy yourself in the face of adversity, is the utmost rebellious act against drama, gossipers and chaos.
I'm actually going to write that last sentence down in my book of quotes. Well said.
They usually don't handle it well when you let them know what's going on.
13:26 What happens when we assume good intent from those who have bad intentions?
As much as I want to believe that everybody has good intentions it’s hard when people take advantage over you for thinking like this. But when I try and be wary of people who could be doing so and confront them about it, I’m the one who is in the wrong. It just feels like I’m never going to figure this out...
I know this feeling all too well
Awesome.
Recently I have started to let the other party know of "how I feel" and ask them "why they do what they do". Needless to say I ask for feedback. So far it has been working very well.
You're absolutely right. Thank you.
Extremely relevant and informative. Excellent video, thanks for sharing!
Outstanding presentation! Really loved the education, perspective, and tools provided.
Gossip spreads because people have no damn sense
And no damn life of themselves
In a democracy is it possible for a politician to get elected without gossiping about his/her opponent? I am not saying that it is right but it seems inevitable.
This why i ignore them at work 😂😂😂 because i knows is something wrong with those people who gossips
Um glad i saw this veido
Because it made me understand the situation
I see this at almost every work place i go
And remember, ALWAYS agree with the office gossip, ALWAYS bandwagon, and maybe you can be the happiest and most succesful at the office
This was really insightful and informative!
This guy is one good public speaker.
'And all of a sudden we have a little drama triangle', more like a Bermuda Triangle.
we call it the next episode of "as the stomach turns" lol.
Awesome job! I wish I could get this guy to my workplace ❤❤
I can’t stand being the rescuer. One co worker would always come to me and talk about how frustrating it was to work with so and so and all I could think to tell her was, “did you let her know all of this.” It’s selfish to put that on me to. I don’t need all that drama tell the person you have that problem with.
I would say thank you from all my heart. what an amazing video!!
What do you do if you actively do this but others don't? Consistently. It can seem like they enjoy the drama triangle. I've run out of ways to see it from another perspective. It's a daily battle.
Keep it up. You are only responsible for you and despite what it feels like, it is noticed. You are NOT the drama and your bosses know this.
You may be dealing with a narcissist, and maybe more than one.
Excellent talk Joe! I loved seeing your keynote at Nextech conference too! By the way, applying your two rules - assume good intentions and confront an issue with the offender directly are ingredients for a good marriage too! LOL
It's called, COVERT WORKPLACE BULLYING/SOCIAL BULLYING.
This is awesome! Thank you!
I remember the lady next door. She tape recorded me. I was five. She played me crying at her daughter's birthday party. The old woman said, "Only Laurie would do that." I called her many years later. I told her to apologize to me. She did. The woman is dead so that I don't have to worry about her talk talk talk.
Great topic and great presentation.
I absolutely hate gossip it’s cruel
Wonderful talk. Thanks!
I loved this
I really really love this.
Great Ted Talk, Joe!
I love this!!
Great talk!!😁😁😁
Thank you for this video, I needed this...
I never learned anything... boring. 🤤
@@AaroneStefano I KNOOOWWWW!!!!!! 😁😁😁😁😁😁
Loved it!
AMAZING!!!!!!!!
excellent video
First off this is a great video. However I disagree with a lot of things I’ve been told from numerous therapist that I am extremely hard on myself. Probably someone with low self-esteem. Which would mean I don’t favor myself. Do I think negatively about others? Sure.
Intelligent individuals are more prone to underestimate themselves, self-critical they are, than less intelligent; one aspect of the Dunning-Kruger effect. The other aspect being making more favourable assumptions of the less intelligent than motivated by actual abilities.
Realistically, going to the person directly does not work well. I’ve seen people do it. It leaves awkwardness between the two people. There are no good options.
It would require a decent degree of emotional intelligence and effective communication on both sides for it to go well. Also some form of outcome/resolution needs to come out the discussion to avoid awkwardness. And all of this would require both parties to somewhat be robotically neutral which is a skill you develop over time when constantly faced with interpersonal conflict and chaos.
What you are about to read is not in my head nor is it a movie. It's a new reality for me at the job. There's something strange going on at the site in reference to me as an employee. Beyond the shadow of doubt, I know that someone has been going around defaming my good name and character in the building. As you know, this act is against the law. This is called defamation of character. Am I right?
Why do I say this? Many of the people who have been friendly to me for more than two years have suddenly stopped communicating, especially when I am posted in the lobby. This new attitude towards me started about 5 weeks ago. I firmly believe that many of the employees from various departments are trying to make me feel unwanted hoping that I would leave the site.
I spoke to several of my coworkers about what is happening to me. They told me to simply ignore the silent treatment, do my job and go home. Of course, this is easier said than done. There is a group effort to make me feel unwanted and uncomfortable.
If I did something wrong or offended anyone, I would like to know exactly what I did that would compel a group of employees who have been saying hello to me for more than two years to suddenly stop all communications. By the way, this is only happening to me and not my coworkers. The silent treatment is only directed to me when posted in the lobby.
I don't know who started the rumor, why the rumor was started and what exactly was spread about me. The rumor has ruined my good name and character not only in the lobby but on different floors and into several departments.
If one or two employees decided that they no longer wanted to talk to me, I would not bother to post my story here. However, the number of people who continue to give me the silent treatment grows on a daily basis.
Everyday, without exaggeration, a new employee is added to the DON'T TALK TO ME list, if you know what I mean. It is hard to work and be ignored. I make a decent salary and so walking away from the job is not a good idea.
Questions:
1. What is the best way to handle the silent treatment at the job?
2. What would you do in my situation?
3. What is the main reason for giving an employee the silent treatment?
Thank you.
You might have a legal case for court-libel so I guess it’s just up to you if you can be bothered dragging it through the courts or not. Notorious office-gossips are a menace to society so I’d try and do something about it if I were you. In the meantime get your records and overall documentation straight.
@@Anonymous_Anon882 :
1. They will deny ever doing anything wrong. There's no evidence of wrong doing without reviewing the cameras, which they will simply avoid.
2. My boss is more interested in keeping legal matters away from the client. Contract security companies rely on the money paid by the clients. The lawfirm is one of our clients.
3. The simple thing to do is to relocate me. This is what my boss is working on.
4. Currently waiting for my boss to find me a new site. The waiting is killing me with anxiety.
5. Last week I only worked two days, which shall reflect on my check for week ending 2/10/23.
Not a good way to start a new year.
@@guidofeliz8384 I’m in no doubt whatsoever that the boss wants to get you out. Often-times what happens in those environments is that when one blabbermouth-idiots decides to start mud-slinging someone’s name and spreading malicious rumours about them the whole environment becomes icy to them and uncomfortable in their presence so the easiest thing for them is to ostracise and try and bar you from coming in at that particular time. In the meantime I’d still keep a written tabulation of what’s been happening since the new year and if it gets to court (at your discretion and as you wish) you can point out that the boss is trying to move you on in consequence of that and more because s/he’s more concerned about the company looking bad than actually looking out for you. Get that from your boss in writing, say you want it for your personal clarity and assurance and take it from there if you do decide you want it to be a legal matter. Hang tight in the meantime. I really hope it works out for you.
@@Anonymous_Anon882 :
My boss does not work for the lawfirm. The lawfirm is just one of 30 or 40 accounts that the company I work has as a client. Understand? My boss is not trying to get me out. He even promised to find me another location. So, I am waiting for that to happen. My boss said that he will have a schedule for me this weekend, a work schedule that most likely will begin Sunday night or Monday night.
@@guidofeliz8384 right, I see. Well, good luck dirt that in the meantime but I’d still give a bit of legal thought about what to do with those co-workers, even in the absence of much evidence.
My conclusion is those that cannot keep your name off their lips must be thinking about you a lot!
Have never been late💪💪
I think women and men should support each other more not just say it live it. 95% of Gossip is not realistic just because one person hates you they tell the next person and so on so it spreads like wild fire. Also if you say something negative to a face but that person is a stranger to you, like a neighbour, why would you believe or assume something negative about them when you don't know them . people make assumptions and they are not realistic to that person, its what make the world seem a little crazy in a crazy chaotic world.. Especially toxic when they try to damage your good reputation, they shame you, or you break up with someone and they shame you, because they are bitter about your leaving them so they try to damage your reputation, as they don't want you to move on without them. Sometimes your friends can hurt your relationship inadvertanlty. Help spread this word and on other social media outlasts this is Psychology. Understanding this it will be come universal lnaguage.Lets change this landscape to a more positive world.
I wanna share this at work...
At least it's not about me 😅 Ya right, if they gossip about someone else, trust me they will gossip about you too behind your back. You're cobworkers are not your friends. Don't be delusional.
I needed to read this
Excellent way of explaining the Karpman drama triangle - would have been lovely to have heard you mention the empowerment triangle - malicious gossip is destructive - not all gossip/forms of communication is destructive. I wish you peace.
All gossip could be toxic to tell you the truth. Some people just don’t like to be talked about behind their back my dad does it with family members I never talk to it’s like why are you telling everyone my business instead of just loving me? Sorry but talking behind someone’s back at all isn’t loving that person it’s still at the end of the day gossiping rather it be good or bad.
Everyone has distortions of some kind
Was this filmed at an airport?
I'm always weary of poor management and a cheers like workplace.if there is over 40 employees and trust I'm outside alone I know nobody's name even after months,the guy who knows everyones life and names.then the overly quiet one.noway....
I have a 10 year old that was once 3 or 4
They are uniquely terrible at hide and seek
Probably a good thing
Today he could probably grab an uber on his phone and the game might cross state lines
We don't play that anymore
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
If you have kids if you have kids. You have to have kids to understand anything in life. Total BS.
I must be an allient bc I think opposite to everything he said people think
Your son and my son are the same kid
How many wright down 0%, they make enough.
This has been 15 minutes of gaslighting trying to lie to people narcs dont exist
Yep, you're all guilty of this
👍
X us fighting b.
Meekz
A bit superficial.
but true.
Simple Leads and Management