And he was the one who cried during their video + the fact that he kept repeating how “rich” he was while now hearing that Sylvia is in debts? Lol the shade there man
Hi Sylvia, I want to say that when the news came out, I had always been secretly rooting for your success. Because as a young student, I always wondered how can sylvia be so strong and successful but get slammed by a gang while you stood alone. I hated that not many showed up for you and I am angry for you. As a fan since day 1, I am happy for you right now, you never left my mind and I am so glad that my instincts of reading your strong character from the start was never misunderstood. I am an INFJ, and I always liked ur vibe despite what others said abt ur cold aura. I am so excited to see your masterclass blossom
Wow i wish more people see this video ! It is not only about Sylvia's story and her saga (which i purely came here for at the start) but there are so many POWERFUL lessons we can learn for our own lives too ! Rooting for you Sylvia !
I'd like to give my two cents since I watch both Sylvia's ex-partner's talkshows and now this from a rather neutral standpoint. Also coming from a long-time toxic relationship myself. When two people are not comfortable with themselves (i.e insecurity, anger issues, traumatic past, depression) wholly, and not being truthful to themselves about it, they are also not truthful to each other. And all that resentment buried deep within gets reflected in our actions to those closest to us (i.e your partners). Mistakes were made on both parties' parts, but mistakes are how we grow. Both of you may not have been great for each other given the circumstances above, but I hope everyone including both Sylvia and Ryan see that past relationship as not what they regret the most, but what has helped them grow the most. As such, I hope both of you keep on growing.
I love this! So much reflection, so much wisdom. Thanks, Sylvia and Dan for providing the language to unpack these difficult experiences that many of us could be facing as well. No matter what happens to us, there is so much freedom available to us to decide how we want to respond to the situations we have in life. Realising and knowing what we can do with this freedom is so important and I think Sylvia is embodying the example of using this freedom, guided by our true selves. Thanks again for this amazing episode
Agreed. Lets not forget that he openly admitted in the chinese podcast with mayiduo and jon chua that he had in fact been an obsessively controlling partner and it was completely glossed over. Guess the truth always comes to light. Never trust a man who makes a woman clean up his mess
Witnessing ur growth and fall, I am still gearing for u. I ve always believe in you and will continue. I always feel you ve been wronged by him and when u’re with a toxic person it’s hard that u are not be an angry person. U are now better and doing so damn well!
It does not matter what other people have said about you, whether good or bad, as long as you are rooted in your truth. Everything will be better than in the past as long you move on to developing a healthy relationship with yourself and others. It is tough to be a public persona, so eating alone, enjoying life alone, and being at ease with yourself is okay.. mmm actually nothing wrong... many people do it in this big big world. You can't run away from yourself 24/7; you are your own best friend. Continue to take care of your inner world, Luv Luv! May good and wise friends come to you and continue to support your journey.
I had a narcissistic partner too, so I can totally relate. Lost all respect for her ex-husband after watching the first 2 videos. He played the victim card well over the years. Today we know he is the abuser, the manipulator, the classic toxic individual.
People gotta understand that therapy or coaching or counselling is only from one angle. There is also another angle from the opposite side and also the actual side which is a combination of both sides.
Forming meaningful relationship as an adult is tough. That's a huge problem in our society. There's so much to unpacked. Love this. Almost at the end of your 2 full videos. Good stuff.
Finally found the time to watch all 8 episodes of this podcast, and I wanna say thank you, Sylvia and Dan, for sharing so openly and authentically❤️ This episode really hit home for me; it felt like a warm hug and was especially healing and comforting. As someone who has lost a lot of close friends in the last couple of years, I always wonder if things could have turned out differently if either party had responded differently. For those that I’ve let down, I always carry the guilt of not trying harder. For those that let me go, it was especially hard realizing that I wasn’t their priority, even though they were mine. But hearing your stories made me feel less alone. While I haven’t found my tribe yet, knowing that you found your people gives me hope that one day I will find mine too, just like you did🥺
Thats why Sylvia’s ex partner is so happy with his current gf - cause she cooks for him, apologizes to him and gives in to him. At least that’s all that i am getting from him whenever he is questioned about what he likes about his current gf. He gives off the feeling where he thinks that he is smarter than his current gf and only marrying her because she is forcing him into it coz he doesn’t believe in marriage. His ideal girl is someone who serves him, give in to him and believe that everything he say/think is right. Total narcissist behaviour.
the fact that you couldn't see that you deserve someone decent previously is really sad because you're intelligent (academically and at work), capable, kind at heart and the much better looking one in your previous relationship. i hope that one day, you'll find someone who can and will bring out the best in you and enrich your life! :)
I followed you for years n saw how you had to take all the BS when the saga happened but I still trust you and I am so happy for you right now as you emerge stronger, better and more powerful and beautiful. Truly the better version of yourself.
Dear Silvia, I felt compelled to write to you that it is ok to be alone. Only a strong woman is not afraid to be alone. Of course we all need friends in our life but one needs to be selective of friends. If it is just friends with benefits, then you know it’s better to be by yourself than wasting on people who do not deserve a minute of your time. True and genuine friends don’t come by easily, so when you know who your true friends are, you better cherish them. I sincerely hope you will emerge stronger after all the heart wrenching episodes you had to go through. Look at the brighter side that you had come out of the toxic relationship and you still have a full life ahead of you. You are young, beautiful and very capable. You can stand tall without any men. There are many people out there still stuck in a very abusive and toxic relationship but could not get out and perhaps also afraid to get out as they are afraid to be independent. It is definitely hell living with a narcissist and not being to get out. I wish you a life full of bliss and may you always be surrounded with kind hearted people. 🤗 ❤
Thank you Sylvia for sharing what many of us dont have the courage to and showing us it isn't easy being true to ourself while seeking people who will truly accept us for who we are without the charade and challenges for us to accept and be proud to be our true self as it is so tiring to pretend just so people like us. You look so much happier now and I am inspired by your transformation.
So happy you dropped 2 episodes which was just the right dose for us to finally get an update of you. After episode 1, I thought I had to wait for a while LOL. I think this new channel is so comforting for so many of us, because it's not just another "'lets talk about it" style and that's it, move on. It unpacks alot of sitting with ourselves to examine our actions, our thought process and even mistakes. Had been low key rooting and waiting for Sylvia to come back strong from the saga. Just my POV, Sylvia is classic first child eldest daughter energy - has to take on alot of burden. Your ex has victim and martyr complex, wahhh~ I wanted to say this for sooo long after watching his interview in the Chinese channel. Anw, this video is also so healing for me, a joy to watch and thank you great team with Danny! Already love Dan from LITO, perfect combination, looking forward to more.
Dear Dan and Sylvia, your coming together in this podcast feels like a gift from the universe(or guan yi mama) itself. As someone who tends to be more introverted and reserved and possibly residing in a cave, I hadn't heard of this significant incident before stumbling upon this episode. The revelations shared here have opened my eyes to the depths of human cruelty, and it's chilling to realise that I have navigated similar situations in the past. Even now, years later, the mental, physical and emotional scars of those experiences still linger, casting shadows on my journey toward healing.. and sometimes I move away from healing, and it gets really difficult. Yet, hearing your stories has made this path and life feel less solitary, reminding me that amidst the darkness, hope remains to be found. It has been such a lonely journey for me, and I’ve always felt alone and unable to be understood. Sylvia, your courage to lay bare your vulnerabilities, strengths, and authenticity resonated deeply with me and countless others. Your journey serves as a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit. Through your words, you've illuminated the way forward for those of us who have stumbled in the dark, showing us that even amidst life's trials(pun not intended), a flicker of light beckons us onward, even though we really believe that we’ve ran out of moves. Thank you for bravely sharing your narrative, for reminding us all that our struggles do not define us, and that within each of us lies the strength to rise again. Your impact reaches far beyond the confines of this podcast, infusing hope and healing into every corner it touches, and anyone who is willing to receive it. And to Master Coach Lin Xian Gu Dan, your guidance and support have undoubtedly played a pivotal role in Sylvia's journey. Your commitment to lifting others up and fostering growth will always be an inspiration to me. Together, you both remind me that even in our darkest hours, we are never truly alone, and I’m so glad kindred spirits met! May your light continue to shine brightly, illuminating the path for others to follow. The world is undoubtedly brighter with both of you in it! Jiayou and take care, wishing nothing but the best for everyone watching and reading.
I think only people who have been through what she been through can relate to the things she said and why she wants to do this podcast. Imagine you being painted as the villain, getting into shit and debt after working hard for so many years while your ex-partner simply gets the money and is happy AF lol. We are all human, be a human and listen to her before commenting on her flaws. I hated her previously btw way before the saga, cos of her over-controlling character portrayed in the videos and it’s obvious cos everyone is afraid of her. As the saga continued, more signs were shown that she was forced into that situation and seriously iykyk how it’s like being in a manipulative relationship. It’s freaking tiring. They can throw dirt on her and then the moment she says her side, suddenly it’s “let bygones be bygones”? Lol
This is how a girl's platonic guy best friend should do, to maintain a good relationship with the girl. 1. Be friends with her partner, and maintain a good relationship with her partner. 2. Do her a favour by reducing the 1:1 frequencies, to greatly reduce potential misunderstanding. This is an unspoken bro code. However, it sounded like Nick expected no change to his time spent with Sylvia. Guy best friend's actions and expectations were actually disrespectful towards the ex-partner. And from the stories, i can also see why the ex-partner is angry in all the situation. Both parties are viewing the same situation from very different angle. Both are right and wrong at the same time, for very diffferent reasons. The issue seems to be communiation breakdown more than anything. Both were unable to articulate their points in a way that the other could understand. Both were really young when all these happened. And they didn’t have someone in their circle who could help them understand each other's pov (no doubt, not many people have this skillset). Both didn't have have anyone(religion, parents, relatives, friends, counsellors, etc) that they truly trust and can rely on, in guiding them how to handle marraige life. Marraige life is already super tough. Add the fact that they are working together complicates the situation even more.
Hey Sylvia, just watched this.. there were heart wrenching parts in these episode😢 but you stayed strong. Kudos to you on that. I hope you find your true calling and success in life. Life will definitely be easier for you from now on
I've truly enjoyed watching the podcast. It delves into so many layers, prompting deep reflection. It helped me realize that I may have been gaslighted at some point in my own relationship. However, acknowledging this doesn't absolve me of responsibility, as I played a role in allowing it to happen. What I'm most grateful for is the inner strength I've discovered on my healing journey. Without it, I could have fallen victim to further manipulation by my partner. While I don't believe he realized his behavior mirrored that of a narcissist, I'm grateful for my strength in recognizing and breaking free from unhealthy patterns. I've also come to acknowledge that I may have played the role of a villain in someone else's life. Whether from my perspective or theirs, both parties contribute to the narrative that unfolds. Ultimately, we must remain true to ourselves. Taking full responsibility for our mistakes allows us to forge a healthier path forward. It's futile to try to sustain a sinking ship by giving our best effort.
So happy to see you back Slyva! I’d say I’m neutral on this bc I still watch his content, but I just can’t stand the way he plays victim over almost everywhere. Paying for lawsuits and mental healths etc. Tbh all his insecurities are obviously bc you’re out of his league, hence he has to control this much.
Halfway through the video after the 4 stories. Yes this is typical of someone who is insecure. But as someone who is insecure myself, I can somewhat relate to why Ryan acted in this manner. He was not trying to manipulate, but he was overthinking every single thing you did because he needs the validation that you love him. As soon as you show someone else attention, he is afraid that he would lose you. Im not saying that what he did was right. He was not ready to love someone else, because he did not love himself first.
Thank you Sylvia for being so open and vulnerable for sharing your stories in your past relationships. You have come such a long way and suffered so much. 😢 I remembered I was also going through a seemingly peaceful but painful divorce at the same time as yours. And I have yet to go for any therapy session for this as I was ashamed of it and did not feel the need for it. A lot of emotions and pain surfaced through while watching your stories. I also realized that we have forgotten that the most important relationship in our Life is ourselves. I am really happy to see that you are so much more in peace and grounded with yourself. Thank you for letting us in into your Life and I can't wait to hear more from you. 🩷
Sylvia, I felt like tearing when you shared your heart sank at the right place … thank God for your healing journey… all that matters is your heart … ❤
i totally feel Dan when he talked about the 27 years friendship. the friend not showing up. it happened to me too! i was there for her during all her down times.. but that very one time when i needed her, she told me she was PLAYING MAHJONG and cannot leave. :( we were still friends for afew years after that, but then subsequently i just left that whole group because that incident had alrdy broke me.
Same here. So, family is the most important for me. "Friendship" is too overrated. My best friend is the one who kept asking me out sincerely over the years and i truly appreciate it.
My daughter had a very closed friend since kindergarten days and the friendships was at least 20 years. When my dad passed away, my daughter’s friend didn’t bother to come to the wake to console my daughter who had an extremely closed relationship with her grandfather. Her friend called in the middle of the wake, instead of checking where the wake was, she asked my daughter any good drinking pubs to recommend. My daughter was so shocked and felt very hurt by her friend. We are in this era now that everyone felt self entitled. Her friend could be thinking that it’s her right to decide where she wants to be whereas my daughter could be thinking that as good friend, the least she could do was to be with her during her grieving period. So, if you have a friend that goes the extra mile to do things for you, we know this is the type of friends we want to be with and cherish them. I am in my 50s now and have gone through so much in life to fully comprehend the Chinese saying, 君子之交淡如水。 In life, if we can have one very good friend, 夫复何求！
after all the saga and drama, i just want to say Syl is so so strong! i think we dont have to judge the saga since every story have own side of POV! hope she's back with the real her, all with positivity
I love the vulnerable Sylvia and Dan, you are much more real and relatable now. Thank you for sharing your lessons as it will benefit many people out there who are still searching for themselves - young or old. I've shared this with my friends who needed to hear this.
these 4 stories are so important for everyone who choose to be part of real and non-manipulative relationships. building supportive circles > holding the one romantic relationship as sacred. thank u both for sharing and distilling the lessons. can't wait for the following episodes 🩵
Your video resonated with me and reminded me of the importance of being true and honest with myself. Thanks Sylvia and Dan for distilling the painful experiences into bite-sized wisdom bombs such as redefining love and setting boundaries, which are very useful reminders. Keep up the great work! ❤
Tbh Sylvia took a long hiatus and went through the needful legal procedures, I felt like the social media trial really needs to end now. She has taken enough accountability on her end. Whatever is her perspective on her relationship, marriage, and through the saga is hers and her feelings are equally valid.
the but vase looks nice, thank you for sharing your story after hearing it, i found strength to keep going i wish u well and more blessings to come. Thank you to both of u and the rest of the team to make this podcast happen. update: finished the episode, happy about your relationship congratulations! He is really sweet to buy presents for two hahahaha its really nice 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
I like this type of podcast from Sylvia, but i feel Daniel can tone down a little. His sudden hype up after Sylvia every sentence just feels very off rhythm to the flow of the podcast.
Thank you Sylvia and Dan for sharing so much! It really gave me another perspective on self healing and focusing on myself. You are such an inspirational person!
My parents underwent a divorce during my A level days prior to the army. I almost broke, my life was a mess, and my long-time church friends did not even ask if I was alright. For years, I kept questioning if I made the wrong choice to walk away and my life was really at a low. I can totally relate to your story here.
But at the same time, I think back at those time where I may not have been a true friend, I really felt I didn't have the capacity to be as I was having a hard time in life at that point in time. Just couldn't gather that right frame of mind
❤❤ Sending lots of love for Sylvia ❤❤ And Coach Daniel Lim! I cried on the first part of Sylvia sharing her losing all her support side 😢 It’s must been so lonely and hard… I’m proud of u for walking out of it. It’s not easy at all. I hope all the happiness and love for you moving forward! ❤❤❤ You grown so much! 💕💕
Dunno who's right or who's wrong in the whole saga. Not taking sides also because it's none of my business. Only people who are involved would know best or have a clearer understanding of what happened. Hopefully all parties gained a deeper understanding of life and their own flaws and work towards a better version of themselves. Doesn't that apply to all of us? It's just how life is supposed to be, a series of lessons, if we allow ourselves to properly process what we go through.
🥲 I cried so badly... knowing how you feel... cause I had similar situation and i hv been pulling myself away from friends cz i was scarred as well... & i hv been trying to find back my old real self again. Jiayou! 🎉 Take ur time, u r doing really well! I love how confident & u being u again! ❤
This whole saga is between the two bosses of the largest TH-cam channel then. These people know how to control and push things. They don't need to pay, and likewise everyone should be critical and not be caught up in hype.
The guy is pretty good at manipulating one at fault to think they are not at wrong, despite this full-biased video. Prob his manipulated students supporting
Thank you Sylvia and Dan for this podcast. I’m very happy that you found your true self Sylvia! Whatever you do, I hope that you are happy and continue to bring joy to the people around you. Thank you for giving hopes for everyone out here to get back up and to not give up on ourself. I cannot wait to see what you will do next Sylvia in this very important chapter of your life. Once again, thank you for coming back.
Sometimes people must understand that most relationships are not equal. There's always a giver and a taker, and that's how that relationship forms. And people must also understand that if the roles reverse, that relationship may not even work...
During the saga. Watching those terrible videos. Deep down I knew you are not what you are portrayed online. Hats off for having such strength & courage.
I had similarl relationship experience with her, and eventually her cheated on me. It took me years to get over my ex. But now that I am totally over that relationship, i always thank god that my ex cheated and dumped me. Because at that point in time, we even talked about marriage. If we really got married, I would still be trapped and miserable, thinking that I was in love when I was just in pain. A break up with someone who is not compatible with you is really the best outcome for everyone and most importantly yourself.
story 1: that's what you're supposed to do because you screwed up story 2: most of the time sharing to others does complicate the relationship as its one-sided toxicity story 4: as most drunk people wouldn't be able to recall and taking care of drunk person is probably the most annoying thing ever, so your friend was right not inviting you cause you seem to not be able to control yourself is this some sort of guilt confession?
I'm sorry, I find it hard to believe that a therapist, a professional in his field, could ever tell you that your friends are snakes. I studied psychology and we were told never to make comments or give advice. I may be wrong, anyone else can verify?
Major OCD controlling a person till like no return sia! When we get into a relationship be it partner or friend, we need to give and take compromise towards each other to have healthy relationship. When we committed into a wrong one, the life really go downward spiral. These stories you share should help people to get the courage to come out of any toxic relationship. Great podcast by both you and daniel! :)
1:07:40 I think sometime it's not really about fixing/clearing the wrongdoing/misunderstandings. What's done is done, the friendship can hardly go back to how it was before. I think it's rather that we want to have a closure for ourselves and maybe the other party too.
Came back from the live huddle on ig and decided to comment because this is content I hope to see in singapore that's localised! I cried watching both episodes. Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities and journey because the pain, hurt and loss made it relatable. I've been struggling to find my own tribe for a while now and this came at a timely moment. I'm also trying to find my place and am turning 30 this year, I have self-doubt too and sometimes don't know what I can do but my goal lately has been to imbue and empower myself with things internally that can't be taken away from me. To me, that's what made your sharing so powerful, because you've equipped yourself with things internally that can't be taken away from you. I admire your courage, strength and resilience because it must not have been easy. You can't grow without having been through shit and navigating through the mess, some lessons cannot be taught, it has to be lived through. Sending love and I honestly can't wait to hear more, take in the lessons and learnings and cry together with both of you. ❤
Can we please invite nick, Carmen , your family and fun social friends to the podcast? It would be nice to hear it from them firsthand ! Like this comment if you wish to see this happen
I rarely ever comment on any youtube videos, but I really admire and respect you Sylvia! A long time fan of NOC and You! I'm wanna book a coaching session with you soon!
After hearing the podcast there is only one major takeaway: We are never, ever, ever getting back together We are never, ever, ever getting back together You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me But we are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together Like, ever
Hi syl! So happy that you are back to screen! You are different from previously and so proud of you! Jiayou!! just to tell you that i always roll eyes when your ex "suan xiao " you in his video. Cz real man don’t do that .
Wow totally agree with this. I even blocked his ad that always appeared. I scare kena scam sia. A good boss must starts from home, treat your family good first then you can be a successful person. No matter how i angry with my partner, i will never say bad things or betray my partner. Honestly if my girl together with this kind of guy, i will totally not agree.
I love this episode!! Omg I can't wait for the rest! One a week seems TOOO LONGGGGG 😭 Thanks Dan and Sylvia for making this show. And everyone else involved! The lighting is awesome, the set up is beautiful (it complements their clothes?! 😍 The details are amazing!), the edits are awesome. ❤️ And a huge thank you, Sylvia for sharing your story! I'm sure you knew the stories would resonate with people, but I honestly didn't expect that I'd resonate so much with so much that you shared today! Eg, being gaslit by your partner till you think you're choosing the "right" thing, how difficult it is to take stock of real relationships / friendships in your life and making new friends 😢 Your story provides so much hope in the possibility that some day, at the right time and place, we may be be able to find people who could be true friends, WHILE you are showing up as your true self instead of "performing" for people. Sending much love ♥️
Hey Slyvia, thank you so much for sharing what you've been through. Definitely people are gonna learn a lot from your podcast. Kudos and cant wait for more episode to be out! :)
Thank you Sylvia & Dan for sharing your amazing stories! I am so happy for u Sylvia for being able to break free from the 'prison' that u r chained to, and, just like the channel name, being in a dirty n messy situation and being able to break free and soar higher den b4! Jiayou & next week couldnt come any quicker! ♥
the fact that her ex got into another relationship so fast after their divorce announcement. ek
And he was the one who cried during their video + the fact that he kept repeating how “rich” he was while now hearing that Sylvia is in debts? Lol the shade there man
@@viviantan8937he is the cunning guy
Hi Sylvia, I want to say that when the news came out, I had always been secretly rooting for your success. Because as a young student, I always wondered how can sylvia be so strong and successful but get slammed by a gang while you stood alone. I hated that not many showed up for you and I am angry for you. As a fan since day 1, I am happy for you right now, you never left my mind and I am so glad that my instincts of reading your strong character from the start was never misunderstood. I am an INFJ, and I always liked ur vibe despite what others said abt ur cold aura. I am so excited to see your masterclass blossom
Wow i wish more people see this video ! It is not only about Sylvia's story and her saga (which i purely came here for at the start) but there are so many POWERFUL lessons we can learn for our own lives too ! Rooting for you Sylvia !
Why’s no one talking about how amazing the backdrop and decorations are!! i love the colours and props
Hahaha I did! It’s amazing 😻
I'd like to give my two cents since I watch both Sylvia's ex-partner's talkshows and now this from a rather neutral standpoint. Also coming from a long-time toxic relationship myself. When two people are not comfortable with themselves (i.e insecurity, anger issues, traumatic past, depression) wholly, and not being truthful to themselves about it, they are also not truthful to each other. And all that resentment buried deep within gets reflected in our actions to those closest to us (i.e your partners). Mistakes were made on both parties' parts, but mistakes are how we grow.
Both of you may not have been great for each other given the circumstances above, but I hope everyone including both Sylvia and Ryan see that past relationship as not what they regret the most, but what has helped them grow the most.
As such, I hope both of you keep on growing.
So after two years I think we can all conclude that the ultimate winner are… the lawyers…. Shit too late for me to change my IT degree now.
and Ryan of course. He gain everything from this and left shit for Sylvia. Can't even stand to look at him or watch his video anymore.
I love this! So much reflection, so much wisdom. Thanks, Sylvia and Dan for providing the language to unpack these difficult experiences that many of us could be facing as well. No matter what happens to us, there is so much freedom available to us to decide how we want to respond to the situations we have in life. Realising and knowing what we can do with this freedom is so important and I think Sylvia is embodying the example of using this freedom, guided by our true selves. Thanks again for this amazing episode
Quite obvious that your ex partner is narcissist, can tell from his social media posts too….
So narcissist and entitled, cannot stand him! Donot know how you bear with him for so long…
Like strong woman is a threat to narcissistic man. The manipulation begins!!
In the Chinese podcast, he can’t stop talking abt himself. And always shading his past rs and indirectly shading Sylvia
Agreed. Lets not forget that he openly admitted in the chinese podcast with mayiduo and jon chua that he had in fact been an obsessively controlling partner and it was completely glossed over. Guess the truth always comes to light. Never trust a man who makes a woman clean up his mess
Super obvious somemore he’s dating a xmm it’s so damn gross. He looks so acoustic also LOL
Witnessing ur growth and fall, I am still gearing for u. I ve always believe in you and will continue. I always feel you ve been wronged by him and when u’re with a toxic person it’s hard that u are not be an angry person. U are now better and doing so damn well!
If my partner tells me that I cannot lock my phone or I must feel guilty for having a best friend, I will tell him to F off!
Boundaries! 💪🏼
It does not matter what other people have said about you, whether good or bad, as long as you are rooted in your truth. Everything will be better than in the past as long you move on to developing a healthy relationship with yourself and others. It is tough to be a public persona, so eating alone, enjoying life alone, and being at ease with yourself is okay.. mmm actually nothing wrong... many people do it in this big big world. You can't run away from yourself 24/7; you are your own best friend. Continue to take care of your inner world, Luv Luv! May good and wise friends come to you and continue to support your journey.
This is so wise! Thank you for being here ❤️
I had a narcissistic partner too, so I can totally relate. Lost all respect for her ex-husband after watching the first 2 videos. He played the victim card well over the years. Today we know he is the abuser, the manipulator, the classic toxic individual.
Big hugs to you for being a survivor ❤️
People gotta understand that therapy or coaching or counselling is only from one angle. There is also another angle from the opposite side and also the actual side which is a combination of both sides.
Forming meaningful relationship as an adult is tough. That's a huge problem in our society. There's so much to unpacked. Love this. Almost at the end of your 2 full videos. Good stuff.
Finally found the time to watch all 8 episodes of this podcast, and I wanna say thank you, Sylvia and Dan, for sharing so openly and authentically❤️ This episode really hit home for me; it felt like a warm hug and was especially healing and comforting.
As someone who has lost a lot of close friends in the last couple of years, I always wonder if things could have turned out differently if either party had responded differently. For those that I’ve let down, I always carry the guilt of not trying harder. For those that let me go, it was especially hard realizing that I wasn’t their priority, even though they were mine. But hearing your stories made me feel less alone. While I haven’t found my tribe yet, knowing that you found your people gives me hope that one day I will find mine too, just like you did🥺
Social media has become a facade that only shows one sided rosy pictures. Literally judging a book by its cover.. kudos to the genuine podcast!
Thats why Sylvia’s ex partner is so happy with his current gf - cause she cooks for him, apologizes to him and gives in to him.
At least that’s all that i am getting from him whenever he is questioned about what he likes about his current gf. He gives off the feeling where he thinks that he is smarter than his current gf and only marrying her because she is forcing him into it coz he doesn’t believe in marriage.
His ideal girl is someone who serves him, give in to him and believe that everything he say/think is right.
Total narcissist behaviour.
god bless cherylene
@@ongtw89 Should be may God saves Cherylene
Hahaha she’s such a XMM. So blind and stupid to like an acoustic guy like R.
Wait till the girl wakes up
maybe it's MCP, maybe he's the type of dude that like meek women in a traditional, conservative, 80/90s manner lol
the fact that you couldn't see that you deserve someone decent previously is really sad because you're intelligent (academically and at work), capable, kind at heart and the much better looking one in your previous relationship. i hope that one day, you'll find someone who can and will bring out the best in you and enrich your life! :)
I followed you for years n saw how you had to take all the BS when the saga happened but I still trust you and I am so happy for you right now as you emerge stronger, better and more powerful and beautiful. Truly the better version of yourself.
Dear Silvia, I felt compelled to write to you that it is ok to be alone. Only a strong woman is not afraid to be alone. Of course we all need friends in our life but one needs to be selective of friends. If it is just friends with benefits, then you know it’s better to be by yourself than wasting on people who do not deserve a minute of your time. True and genuine friends don’t come by easily, so when you know who your true friends are, you better cherish them. I sincerely hope you will emerge stronger after all the heart wrenching episodes you had to go through. Look at the brighter side that you had come out of the toxic relationship and you still have a full life ahead of you. You are young, beautiful and very capable. You can stand tall without any men. There are many people out there still stuck in a very abusive and toxic relationship but could not get out and perhaps also afraid to get out as they are afraid to be independent. It is definitely hell living with a narcissist and not being to get out. I wish you a life full of bliss and may you always be surrounded with kind hearted people. 🤗 ❤
Thank you Ally for this kind and heartfelt message! I feel your support! 🩷
Thank you Sylvia for sharing what many of us dont have the courage to and showing us it isn't easy being true to ourself while seeking people who will truly accept us for who we are without the charade and challenges for us to accept and be proud to be our true self as it is so tiring to pretend just so people like us. You look so much happier now and I am inspired by your transformation.
your heart sinking into the right place is a feeling like finally returning and coming home to yourself. congratulations for that
So happy you dropped 2 episodes which was just the right dose for us to finally get an update of you. After episode 1, I thought I had to wait for a while LOL. I think this new channel is so comforting for so many of us, because it's not just another "'lets talk about it" style and that's it, move on. It unpacks alot of sitting with ourselves to examine our actions, our thought process and even mistakes.
Had been low key rooting and waiting for Sylvia to come back strong from the saga. Just my POV, Sylvia is classic first child eldest daughter energy - has to take on alot of burden. Your ex has victim and martyr complex, wahhh~ I wanted to say this for sooo long after watching his interview in the Chinese channel.
Anw, this video is also so healing for me, a joy to watch and thank you great team with Danny! Already love Dan from LITO, perfect combination, looking forward to more.
Dear Dan and Sylvia, your coming together in this podcast feels like a gift from the universe(or guan yi mama) itself. As someone who tends to be more introverted and reserved and possibly residing in a cave, I hadn't heard of this significant incident before stumbling upon this episode.
The revelations shared here have opened my eyes to the depths of human cruelty, and it's chilling to realise that I have navigated similar situations in the past. Even now, years later, the mental, physical and emotional scars of those experiences still linger, casting shadows on my journey toward healing.. and sometimes I move away from healing, and it gets really difficult. Yet, hearing your stories has made this path and life feel less solitary, reminding me that amidst the darkness, hope remains to be found. It has been such a lonely journey for me, and I’ve always felt alone and unable to be understood.
Sylvia, your courage to lay bare your vulnerabilities, strengths, and authenticity resonated deeply with me and countless others. Your journey serves as a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit. Through your words, you've illuminated the way forward for those of us who have stumbled in the dark, showing us that even amidst life's trials(pun not intended), a flicker of light beckons us onward, even though we really believe that we’ve ran out of moves.
Thank you for bravely sharing your narrative, for reminding us all that our struggles do not define us, and that within each of us lies the strength to rise again. Your impact reaches far beyond the confines of this podcast, infusing hope and healing into every corner it touches, and anyone who is willing to receive it.
And to Master Coach Lin Xian Gu Dan, your guidance and support have undoubtedly played a pivotal role in Sylvia's journey. Your commitment to lifting others up and fostering growth will always be an inspiration to me.
Together, you both remind me that even in our darkest hours, we are never truly alone, and I’m so glad kindred spirits met!
May your light continue to shine brightly, illuminating the path for others to follow. The world is undoubtedly brighter with both of you in it! Jiayou and take care, wishing nothing but the best for everyone watching and reading.
I think only people who have been through what she been through can relate to the things she said and why she wants to do this podcast. Imagine you being painted as the villain, getting into shit and debt after working hard for so many years while your ex-partner simply gets the money and is happy AF lol.
We are all human, be a human and listen to her before commenting on her flaws.
I hated her previously btw way before the saga, cos of her over-controlling character portrayed in the videos and it’s obvious cos everyone is afraid of her.
As the saga continued, more signs were shown that she was forced into that situation and seriously iykyk how it’s like being in a manipulative relationship. It’s freaking tiring. They can throw dirt on her and then the moment she says her side, suddenly it’s “let bygones be bygones”? Lol
This is how a girl's platonic guy best friend should do, to maintain a good relationship with the girl.
1. Be friends with her partner, and maintain a good relationship with her partner.
2. Do her a favour by reducing the 1:1 frequencies, to greatly reduce potential misunderstanding.
This is an unspoken bro code. However, it sounded like Nick expected no change to his time spent with Sylvia. Guy best friend's actions and expectations were actually disrespectful towards the ex-partner.
And from the stories, i can also see why the ex-partner is angry in all the situation. Both parties are viewing the same situation from very different angle. Both are right and wrong at the same time, for very diffferent reasons.
The issue seems to be communiation breakdown more than anything. Both were unable to articulate their points in a way that the other could understand. Both were really young when all these happened. And they didn’t have someone in their circle who could help them understand each other's pov (no doubt, not many people have this skillset). Both didn't have have anyone(religion, parents, relatives, friends, counsellors, etc) that they truly trust and can rely on, in guiding them how to handle marraige life. Marraige life is already super tough. Add the fact that they are working together complicates the situation even more.
Hey Sylvia, just watched this.. there were heart wrenching parts in these episode😢 but you stayed strong. Kudos to you on that. I hope you find your true calling and success in life. Life will definitely be easier for you from now on
I've truly enjoyed watching the podcast. It delves into so many layers, prompting deep reflection.
It helped me realize that I may have been gaslighted at some point in my own relationship. However, acknowledging this doesn't absolve me of responsibility, as I played a role in allowing it to happen.
What I'm most grateful for is the inner strength I've discovered on my healing journey. Without it, I could have fallen victim to further manipulation by my partner. While I don't believe he realized his behavior mirrored that of a narcissist, I'm grateful for my strength in recognizing and breaking free from unhealthy patterns.
I've also come to acknowledge that I may have played the role of a villain in someone else's life. Whether from my perspective or theirs, both parties contribute to the narrative that unfolds.
Ultimately, we must remain true to ourselves. Taking full responsibility for our mistakes allows us to forge a healthier path forward. It's futile to try to sustain a sinking ship by giving our best effort.
So happy to see you back Slyva! I’d say I’m neutral on this bc I still watch his content, but I just can’t stand the way he plays victim over almost everywhere. Paying for lawsuits and mental healths etc. Tbh all his insecurities are obviously bc you’re out of his league, hence he has to control this much.
Halfway through the video after the 4 stories.
Yes this is typical of someone who is insecure. But as someone who is insecure myself, I can somewhat relate to why Ryan acted in this manner. He was not trying to manipulate, but he was overthinking every single thing you did because he needs the validation that you love him. As soon as you show someone else attention, he is afraid that he would lose you.
Im not saying that what he did was right. He was not ready to love someone else, because he did not love himself first.
Top question. Will Ryan be cancelled?
Cancel culture is disgusting, stop it 👎
coming from someone who had always believed in you, seeing you active online makes me so happy
Love that you are able to finally speak your point
Thank you Sylvia for being so open and vulnerable for sharing your stories in your past relationships. You have come such a long way and suffered so much. 😢
I remembered I was also going through a seemingly peaceful but painful divorce at the same time as yours. And I have yet to go for any therapy session for this as I was ashamed of it and did not feel the need for it.
A lot of emotions and pain surfaced through while watching your stories. I also realized that we have forgotten that the most important relationship in our Life is ourselves.
I am really happy to see that you are so much more in peace and grounded with yourself. Thank you for letting us in into your Life and I can't wait to hear more from you. 🩷
Wowwwwwwwww...... It's always important to look at both sides.
Sylvia, I felt like tearing when you shared your heart sank at the right place … thank God for your healing journey… all that matters is your heart … ❤
I love the new perspective sylvia gives in this episode! Accepting responsibility of one’s own actions and mistakes!
She’s back! Better than Before! 🎉
Thank you for being a loving witness! ❤️
Love love love this channel! Sylvia, listen gal, you did nothing but to see what is real or fake! Keep going, so happy u r back
Thank you so much! WE LOVE U ❤️
At 1:01:20 for almost 1 whole minute he's just narrating SOMEONE ELSE'S STORY when she's trying to share it herself
i totally feel Dan when he talked about the 27 years friendship. the friend not showing up. it happened to me too! i was there for her during all her down times.. but that very one time when i needed her, she told me she was PLAYING MAHJONG and cannot leave. :( we were still friends for afew years after that, but then subsequently i just left that whole group because that incident had alrdy broke me.
Same here. So, family is the most important for me. "Friendship" is too overrated. My best friend is the one who kept asking me out sincerely over the years and i truly appreciate it.
My daughter had a very closed friend since kindergarten days and the friendships was at least 20 years. When my dad passed away, my daughter’s friend didn’t bother to come to the wake to console my daughter who had an extremely closed relationship with her grandfather. Her friend called in the middle of the wake, instead of checking where the wake was, she asked my daughter any good drinking pubs to recommend. My daughter was so shocked and felt very hurt by her friend. We are in this era now that everyone felt self entitled. Her friend could be thinking that it’s her right to decide where she wants to be whereas my daughter could be thinking that as good friend, the least she could do was to be with her during her grieving period. So, if you have a friend that goes the extra mile to do things for you, we know this is the type of friends we want to be with and cherish them. I am in my 50s now and have gone through so much in life to fully comprehend the Chinese saying, 君子之交淡如水。 In life, if we can have one very good friend, 夫复何求！
after all the saga and drama, i just want to say Syl is so so strong! i think we dont have to judge the saga since every story have own side of POV! hope she's back with the real her, all with positivity
I love the vulnerable Sylvia and Dan, you are much more real and relatable now. Thank you for sharing your lessons as it will benefit many people out there who are still searching for themselves - young or old. I've shared this with my friends who needed to hear this.
these 4 stories are so important for everyone who choose to be part of real and non-manipulative relationships. building supportive circles > holding the one romantic relationship as sacred. thank u both for sharing and distilling the lessons. can't wait for the following episodes 🩵
Absolutely!! 😍
Your video resonated with me and reminded me of the importance of being true and honest with myself.
Thanks Sylvia and Dan for distilling the painful experiences into bite-sized wisdom bombs such as redefining love and setting boundaries, which are very useful reminders.
Keep up the great work! ❤
Wah. Didn't know that this Ryan is such a control freak. Lose respect for him.
I'm sorry but Dan is such a yapper. Goes on and on and on. Would enjoy the podcast much more if it's just Sylvia speaking
Tbh I miss TTS
Tbh Sylvia took a long hiatus and went through the needful legal procedures, I felt like the social media trial really needs to end now. She has taken enough accountability on her end. Whatever is her perspective on her relationship, marriage, and through the saga is hers and her feelings are equally valid.
the but vase looks nice, thank you for sharing your story after hearing it, i found strength to keep going i wish u well and more blessings to come. Thank you to both of u and the rest of the team to make this podcast happen. update: finished the episode, happy about your relationship congratulations! He is really sweet to buy presents for two hahahaha its really nice 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Thank you! You are so kind! 😍
Question of the day, how many yeses are there??
I like this type of podcast from Sylvia, but i feel Daniel can tone down a little. His sudden hype up after Sylvia every sentence just feels very off rhythm to the flow of the podcast.
Dislike Dan’s free use of Fs and his loud drama banal response.
Just let Sylvia speak lah OMG !
Thank you Sylvia and Dan for sharing so much! It really gave me another perspective on self healing and focusing on myself. You are such an inspirational person!
extremely relatable.. im out of the relationship but toxic ex still owes me my life savings but he makes me feel bad for trying get back what’s mine
My parents underwent a divorce during my A level days prior to the army. I almost broke, my life was a mess, and my long-time church friends did not even ask if I was alright. For years, I kept questioning if I made the wrong choice to walk away and my life was really at a low.
I can totally relate to your story here.
But at the same time, I think back at those time where I may not have been a true friend, I really felt I didn't have the capacity to be as I was having a hard time in life at that point in time. Just couldn't gather that right frame of mind
There are days when we thrive and sometimes, we just have to survive. Big hugs ❤️
Sylvia, please take good care of yourself! I stand for you❤
❤❤ Sending lots of love for Sylvia ❤❤ And Coach Daniel Lim! I cried on the first part of Sylvia sharing her losing all her support side 😢 It’s must been so lonely and hard… I’m proud of u for walking out of it. It’s not easy at all. I hope all the happiness and love for you moving forward! ❤❤❤ You grown so much! 💕💕
Dunno who's right or who's wrong in the whole saga. Not taking sides also because it's none of my business. Only people who are involved would know best or have a clearer understanding of what happened. Hopefully all parties gained a deeper understanding of life and their own flaws and work towards a better version of themselves. Doesn't that apply to all of us? It's just how life is supposed to be, a series of lessons, if we allow ourselves to properly process what we go through.
🥲 I cried so badly... knowing how you feel... cause I had similar situation and i hv been pulling myself away from friends cz i was scarred as well... & i hv been trying to find back my old real self again. Jiayou! 🎉 Take ur time, u r doing really well! I love how confident & u being u again! ❤
How many of these comments were paid for
How much are you paid to make false accusations here then ? You one of them?
paid from your mom's pocket
Wondering how much they were paid lol
This whole saga is between the two bosses of the largest TH-cam channel then. These people know how to control and push things. They don't need to pay, and likewise everyone should be critical and not be caught up in hype.
The guy is pretty good at manipulating one at fault to think they are not at wrong, despite this full-biased video. Prob his manipulated students supporting
Thank you Sylvia and Dan for this podcast. I’m very happy that you found your true self Sylvia! Whatever you do, I hope that you are happy and continue to bring joy to the people around you. Thank you for giving hopes for everyone out here to get back up and to not give up on ourself. I cannot wait to see what you will do next Sylvia in this very important chapter of your life. Once again, thank you for coming back.
Us too! THANK YOU for being here with me on the next part of my journey ❤️
how did this 2 become life coaches?
And no one owes you anything to watch this right?
are u cherylene? LMAO
Ryan go get bent in your burner account.
Sometimes people must understand that most relationships are not equal. There's always a giver and a taker, and that's how that relationship forms. And people must also understand that if the roles reverse, that relationship may not even work...
Sylvia 你回来了！ 你真的好棒，经过那么多风风雨雨, you comeback stronger and happier now. Very proud of you , 你熬过来了。
During the saga. Watching those terrible videos. Deep down I knew you are not what you are portrayed online. Hats off for having such strength & courage.
I had similarl relationship experience with her, and eventually her cheated on me. It took me years to get over my ex. But now that I am totally over that relationship, i always thank god that my ex cheated and dumped me. Because at that point in time, we even talked about marriage. If we really got married, I would still be trapped and miserable, thinking that I was in love when I was just in pain. A break up with someone who is not compatible with you is really the best outcome for everyone and most importantly yourself.
Sending you so much love ❤️
What is this retreat thing? Can anyone join
story 1: that's what you're supposed to do because you screwed up
story 2: most of the time sharing to others does complicate the relationship as its one-sided toxicity
story 4: as most drunk people wouldn't be able to recall and taking care of drunk person is probably the most annoying thing ever, so your friend was right not inviting you cause you seem to not be able to control yourself
is this some sort of guilt confession?
I'm sorry, I find it hard to believe that a therapist, a professional in his field, could ever tell you that your friends are snakes. I studied psychology and we were told never to make comments or give advice. I may be wrong, anyone else can verify?
He said life coach. Not therapist
Edit: she
Major OCD controlling a person till like no return sia! When we get into a relationship be it partner or friend, we need to give and take compromise towards each other to have healthy relationship. When we committed into a wrong one, the life really go downward spiral. These stories you share should help people to get the courage to come out of any toxic relationship. Great podcast by both you and daniel! :)
Call a spade a spade. She’s back to social media to promote her life coaching
And?
I mean, at least she's entertaining many along the way. Or you want to see a 30s ad about how your life needs coaching lol
And you gay....@@dontalktomebye
1:07:40 I think sometime it's not really about fixing/clearing the wrongdoing/misunderstandings. What's done is done, the friendship can hardly go back to how it was before. I think it's rather that we want to have a closure for ourselves and maybe the other party too.
Congratulations that you had walkout of everything and come out fresh and ready!! Love your true self. ❤ Jiayou!
The mic is too good, too much guttural/saliva noises from Sylvia.
omg i thought i was the only one annoyed by it. I had to lower the volume for that... she make some weird sound like "kuk.. kerk.." ._.
Thank you for bringing this to our attention! 😍
If you're considering getting a life coach, please just save your time and money and try therapy instead...
Therapy is also expensive and time consuming, i think ill just go die
Life coach is bullshit. We should go to the shrink. They use medical methods sia 😂
I really want to hear more podcasts from sylvia again. I miss that podcast with nina last time
Dan is too too too irritating.
Dan and Sylvia, well done with this show. Happy to see Sylvia be her ownself and has moved on from the saga. Sylvia v2 is kicking ass!
This tell-all is very interesting! I never knew Ryan had problems getting it up
When did she say
Came back from the live huddle on ig and decided to comment because this is content I hope to see in singapore that's localised!
I cried watching both episodes. Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities and journey because the pain, hurt and loss made it relatable. I've been struggling to find my own tribe for a while now and this came at a timely moment. I'm also trying to find my place and am turning 30 this year, I have self-doubt too and sometimes don't know what I can do but my goal lately has been to imbue and empower myself with things internally that can't be taken away from me.
To me, that's what made your sharing so powerful, because you've equipped yourself with things internally that can't be taken away from you. I admire your courage, strength and resilience because it must not have been easy. You can't grow without having been through shit and navigating through the mess, some lessons cannot be taught, it has to be lived through.
Sending love and I honestly can't wait to hear more, take in the lessons and learnings and cry together with both of you. ❤
HELLO! 👋🏼 Thank you for this kind, insightful sharing!!!
Can we please invite nick, Carmen , your family and fun social friends to the podcast? It would be nice to hear it from them firsthand !
Like this comment if you wish to see this happen
This is such a good idea for Season 2!!!
This podcast shouts positivity!!!❤❤ such big love to it!! And hope everything goes well and more ppl will be healed from their trauma ✨
Way are you from Ms,Sylvia now im belive you can done by tip number in seletion.
Relatable. You deserve more. That is why we know is better to rely on ourselves.
I rarely ever comment on any youtube videos, but I really admire and respect you Sylvia! A long time fan of NOC and You! I'm wanna book a coaching session with you soon!
Wow, thank you! 😍
After hearing the podcast there is only one major takeaway:
We are never, ever, ever getting back together
We are never, ever, ever getting back together
You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me
But we are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together
Like, ever
Hello swiftie! 😂❤️
Hey Sylvia! So happy to see u back to screen. You are a great person. Jiayou! ❤
Hi syl! So happy that you are back to screen! You are different from previously and so proud of you! Jiayou!! just to tell you that i always roll eyes when your ex "suan xiao " you in his video. Cz real man don’t do that .
Tbh since the saga, I’ve avoided any videos that he’s a part of. He disgusts me. I just cannot. Cannot give him more views and “money”.
Wow totally agree with this. I even blocked his ad that always appeared. I scare kena scam sia. A good boss must starts from home, treat your family good first then you can be a successful person. No matter how i angry with my partner, i will never say bad things or betray my partner. Honestly if my girl together with this kind of guy, i will totally not agree.
HAHAHA WHY DID I ONLY THINK I WAS THE ONLY ONE? HIGH FIVE
@@phia8723
I will skip any video with that watermelon in it.
Love the honesty❤❤ thank you for this and opening up to the truth!!!
You are so welcome 🙏🏼
I wish Dan will let Sylvia finish her sentence
I love this episode!! Omg I can't wait for the rest! One a week seems TOOO LONGGGGG 😭
Thanks Dan and Sylvia for making this show. And everyone else involved! The lighting is awesome, the set up is beautiful (it complements their clothes?! 😍 The details are amazing!), the edits are awesome. ❤️
And a huge thank you, Sylvia for sharing your story!
I'm sure you knew the stories would resonate with people, but I honestly didn't expect that I'd resonate so much with so much that you shared today! Eg, being gaslit by your partner till you think you're choosing the "right" thing, how difficult it is to take stock of real relationships / friendships in your life and making new friends 😢
Your story provides so much hope in the possibility that some day, at the right time and place, we may be be able to find people who could be true friends, WHILE you are showing up as your true self instead of "performing" for people. Sending much love ♥️
Thank you unpacking with us and sharing your valuable deep reflections! ❤️ Let's do this sometimes dirty and messy life together!
Always on ur side!!
You are an amazing human being 🥰
How come still no news of this podcast on Mothership?
Too long lol. They haven’t even finished watching.
Hahaha got already!
Move on, People! Change and Healing is a long process….always be humble….❤
WE ALL NEED A CARMEN IN LIFE ❤🤩
P/S: can we have a counter for the number of times Sylvia said yes 😆😂
Both her and her ex are just exploiting social media to further their goals. Nothing wrong is that itself though.
Hey Slyvia, thank you so much for sharing what you've been through. Definitely people are gonna learn a lot from your podcast. Kudos and cant wait for more episode to be out! :)
You are so welcome! 😍
Such an amazing journey!! I have been following your journey Sylvia - so inspiring!! Your inner strength is beautiful ❤
Thank you so much!
Thank you Sylvia & Dan for sharing your amazing stories!
I am so happy for u Sylvia for being able to break free from the 'prison' that u r chained to, and, just like the channel name, being in a dirty n messy situation and being able to break free and soar higher den b4!
Jiayou & next week couldnt come any quicker! ♥
All the truth come out. Stay far away from them.