20/20: Jim Butcher - ABC (11/25/1994)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 มี.ค. 2022
- 29 min.
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I still have a VHS tape of this interview. We lost a generation of the best and the brightest.
65 now - HIV positive for 35 years - We were sure I would not make it - such a journey - Thanks for sharing this story and thanks to 20/20 for airing this 🥲🥲
I'm 58 and gay. I remember all of this. People forget how quickly people would die. They were fine one week and then dead the next. Literally. Oddly, the AIDS crisis had a tiny silver lining that was revealed in this TV show. AIDS forced millions of men out of the closet and for their families to deal with the issue of homosexuality. Although, many rejected and disowned their children in need, many did not. And it lead to a fundamental shift in acceptance of homosexuality in mainstream society, which blossomed 30 years later.
You got a good point there. I don't like gays or lesbos or trans, trust me I have tried and tried to not be freaked out by them, but AIDS indeed brought them all out of the closet into the real world. Guess when I am before the Lord nothing will matter, accept did I love, did I care, did I spend time to love and care? This video helped me a sliver, not fully there yet, but still.
I'm going on 38 and I remember this crisis hitting in the early 90s even tho it's been around longer then that however you are right one minute they were here and next week were gone I lost a aunt and 2 uncles to this horrible disease and I hateeeeee how its called the "gay plague " smh
That is so true, thank you for that perspective.
well yeah of course people forget how quickly people would die. HIV activists has basically drilled it into our heads for the last 15 years that it's not a death sentence. So now only a few older generations have experienced this.
Great point. I’m 63 so I lived thru this time. It didn’t help lesbians in the same way but the hetero community viewed us differently than gay men.
This went in a direction I was not expecting. What beautiful loving parents. They put their views aside and loved their son. They recognized their short comings and made sure their son knew he was loved. 🥺❤
The mother seemed not too nice.
Beautiful loving parents would not have created the doubt, self hate, and fear in their son.
@@Pisti846Seemed nice enough to me. She has her views. Those are her right to have. But she obviously still loves her son. May he rest easy.
I wonder though, were the cameras and publicity helping this moment along? That's what I kept thinking. I hope it was an honest reaction.
It’s even sadder knowing how close we were to the treatments that could have extended his life.
um, no...
Sadly the highly effective HIV ‘cocktail’ treatment of several medications was several years away.
@@Shivaismysaviour1996 antiretroviral drugs came out, the cocktail including the miraculous protease inhibitor. He died in 1994. So it was close. If he had lived the 18 months to 2 years he thought he’d get, he could potentially still be with us. So sad.
This story touched my heart today. I cried so hard when he seat down with his parents in that hotel room. Jim Butcher you are a hero because i know your story will heal lots of broken relationships.
I watched this documentary 3 hours ago and i still cant get Jim out of my mind. 😭😭😭😭
The way Jim’s father spoke so openly about how much he loves Jim and to see the love between them at the end, had me in tears. I’m so glad they all had that time together and I only wish Jim could have more time with them.
I feel Jim died suddenly because once he knew he was loved he had peace and was able to let go of such a hard fight ❤🌈
I believe that is exactly why his end came so soon. Jim was such a wonderful person and blessed to have Bonnie in his life. I raised three children and always knew in my heart if any of them were gay, it wouldn’t change how much I loved them in any way. Children need to know how much you love them. Your job as a parent is to encourage them and help them navigate the world. If anything I would have been even more protective than I already was. It’s not our job to judge people. It’s our job to learn from other’s experiences. Open mind, open heart. I cried my eyes out that Jim lost his battle so quickly. But knowing he was loved and cherished by his family, helped tremendously. RIP Sweet Angels, Jim and Bonnie. Including all who have been taken too soon from this horrible disease.
We have come a long, long way as a society in the last 30 years. Love the comments!!!
Wow... a beautiful documentary... Not many guys got that unconditional love from their parents... my heart aches for those who were not accepted by friends and family. And still today there are so many people that believe it is a choice.... ♫ when will they ever learn... ♫
I'm the mother of 2 Adult sons, who are adored by myself and my husband. They have known, all their lives, that there is NOTHING that could ever stop our Loving them. There is NOTHING they can't tell us. We love , and accept them, wholly and completely, for all of Eternity. We are here for them, until our last breath on Earth and beyond ❤❤ Im so happy ,for Jim, that his parents felt the same .He needed them so much. He died knowing just how much he was loved. RIP Jim
Jim was a totally remarkable man he planned that conversion to Seattle, the letter before hand, with compassion and care. He knew the personalities and emotions of his parents. Thank heavens, they loved him.
The female companion of a gay man has been trivialized in media (called a “beard”) but can we all agree that Bonnie and women like her are a lifeline for people who struggle to come to terms with their true self. Jim was a beautiful human being who should be remembered, but Bonnie is a true gem. I don’t have any friends who I am close enough and honest enough with (besides my husband) who would drop everything to care for me in my final days. Love to Bonnie
Absolutely. That’s what Mary Austin was to Freddie Mercury. She was his best friend and they had such a special relationship. ❤
The thing that struck me about this video was how genuine everyone was. No arrogance, judgement, harshness etc plus Jim was a really nice guy. As a Christian I struggle so much with how aids devastated the gay community, I find it so sad 😭
Back in the day Christians Celebrating Aids, they believed it was gods Plaque to wipe out Gay and sin...
It was.
What do you mean “as a Christian” you struggle so much with how AIDS devastated the gay community (actually, the entire friggin’ WORLD has been devastated by AIDS). How do you, as a Christian “struggle” differently than say, a Jewish person or an Agnostic person?
Wowwwww.. even with how sad this is, I’m so happy he got the unconditional love he deserved.. I cannot believe how healthy he looked and then hearing how quick things went downhill.. especially how he talked about maybe having 12-18 months 😢 my heart breaks for the family but I’m happy they were all able to come together without resentment. RIP Jim & RIP Bonnie.. she’s a real one!!! Special lady if u ask me! may their bond grow even stronger in the after life! 😢 I hate AIDS.. lost my mom in 96 right before decent meds came out, I was 12, it was awful to witness.
Dammit 😢
Good he met his parents in time so all could get peace.
I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. You was way to young to lose the person you need the mose...
Didn't know about Bonnie...when did she die?
I am so sorry for You, this shouldn´t have happened to You in such a young age. I lost my dad some month after my mother last year, but I am 47 now. I send You a hug if you want from Berlin/Germany🤗
I’m so very sorry ❤❤❤
That was the most emotional video I've seen in a long long time. Being a 48 year old man living with HIV since 2008 and I remember telling my mom m
Telling my mom i was HIV pos was the most emotional thing i ever done and she said we will get through it together. Sadly she passed in 2010 from illness she had she's not able to see that I've been undetectable since 2010 doesn't show in blood work and can't pass it on so glad medicine 💊 has come a long way since the 90s and I will live a normal life. Whatever that is with what's going on in this world today 😂
Oh okay, how does it get undetectable
@@ashasweetyu
You get undetectable status by taking your meds. The virus like any other life form has a life span. The meds block the virus from attacking and infecting the cells they use in order to replicate themselves, so the level of virus decreases. 50 units of virus or less than 50 is considered undetectable. HIV Undetectable persons can’t infect other persons as long as they remain undetectable. The lower the HIV viral load the higher chances of your immune system to become stronger and keep you from any opportunistic infections.
@@ashasweetyuThrough the medication.
Undetectable= Untransmittable.
Google it.
How did you get hiv billy?
So sad. Jim seemed such a wonderful and caring person.
Such a handsome guy! I wish I could go back in time with the powerful treatments we have today. He would get a new lease on life in a week. So strange hearing him talk about what he will miss.
Wow, this was emotional. Jim his partner, his family and his amazing friend bonnie. God bless you all ❤️
Wow, imagine having no immune system. Poor guy died three weeks after this . Unexpectedly, R.I.P Jim
R.I.P Jim
RIP Jim
Jim is such a sweet kind soul ❤😢 he clearly came from a wonderful family
What a lovely man. So sad that he died 3 weeks after this video was made.
Especially sad now, knowing the life saving HIV medications were less than two years away.
😭😭😭
@@suzanneforgione1018 I understand how this virus works an how this virus could eventually take it's course, but he went so fast after this interview.
Maybe he stopped taking AZT or DDI . Many of those pills caused tremendous side effects.. even some of those patients needed blood transfusions. HIV ran rampant because many men had sex with someone who had sex with the same man. They did blood work to determine that some had a strain .. similar to another man. Who had an encounter with 6 other men..in different cities across the country. .. Unfortunately many men aren't Condom friendly.. especially from those decades. Even today.. .. unfortunately
I believe that part of it was probably letting go of this heavy burden that he had been carrying around with him. Coming out to his parents and knowing they accepted him.
“I’ve never felt so loved right now” - would that all of us leave this Earth feeling that way
Beautiful man, beautiful family. They should be proud of this incredible human being.
RIP Jim Butcher. You are remembered.
I was also sad to learn that Bonnie died suddenly in 2003. Very sad 😢
He died?????
@@JesusGodHolySpirit3 , Guess so just saw on the past comments he died 3 weeks after the interview….
@@JesusGodHolySpirit3 yes
😢
Bonnie died in a car accident in 2017
When he was at the airport he was so childlike you just want to hold him and reassure him .😢
This was a beautiful documentary. I'm so glad I happened to stumble upon it. Jim had so much compassion for his family, crying because he was afraid of how his sexuality and illness would hurt them or if he would disappoint or upset them. I'm so happy his parents were able to show him the love he so desperately needed. I like to believe that was able to give his spirit some peace. I'm sure it was agony for his parents to see him go, but I'm happy to know they were all with him and that he was surrounded by love in his last moments. Rest easy, Jim. Your story is being remembered tonight by a person who wasn't even born when you left this world💕.
If I could go back in time - I just want to give him the biggest, tightest, and longest hug I could muster up...
Good Parents offering unconditional love
Jim parents was Christians they shown compassion for their son without judge or scolded him for being gay and having Full brown aids. Jesus most important commandment was to Love one another just as Jesus loved us . Jim died knowing he was loved . Rip Jim
I worked in a hospital that treated a lot of AIDS patients. Heartbreaking to see the parents in their 70’s finding out their son was gay sitting next to their dying child.
I cried😥❣🙏🏽
Me to
What a wonderful, loving family.
I was diagnosed in March 1982 in the very first wave of testing in San Francisco; I was already full-blown AIDS, and given six months to live, MAYBE a year, with aggressive chemotherapy, ie AZT. I went MY own way, did not heed the doctors and I AM STILL HERE
What did you do ? How did you do it ?
I’m glad you’re here❤
❤❤❤ from madrid Spain
Jims dad really pulled so much at my heart.. I pray to god i so pray to god Jims dad and Jim were reunited.. i so wish that.. this just broke my heart
Jim will always be in my Prayers. My parents never knew but my brother and sister in law did and my neice and nephews do too. They accept me as me ❤😊 I am 75 yrs old and still love God very much. ❤❤❤
THIS. This is true Christianity. Love the sinner, not the sin. In today's world, they'd be denounced as hateful bigots for their beliefs, but...my God. Have you ever seen more loving parents? Their love for him is so strong and so pure that even though they believe he's done something terrible, they are eager to show him how unconditional their love is. This is very much like the love of God.
Beautifully said, thank you for sharing.
Jesus is love and God is love and in Him there is no darkness. We are able to love the sinner unconditionally because He 1st loved us.
@@JesusGodHolySpirit3 It's a great shame more Christians don't share your philosophy.
amen. ,,GOD will explain it all in the end.
It's too bad they didn't love him unconditionally until he was dying. He was tortured his whole life because of his family's religious beliefs. It's very sad.
Saw this before.What a kind man.What a wonderful family.
What a gorgeous man and beautiful friend RIP❤
Wow 😢 this was a beautiful video May all the souls lost to aids Rest In Peace
What a legend Jims dad was….! Champion 💪
Too bad the mother was a total loon
He looked healthy right to the end.
I know.. he didn't even have K.S Lesions on his face and body parts. 🌹🌹🙏
As a Nurse, I felt he'd dropped just a little weight on his face. And I could see a shrunken look around his eyes. Obviously signs that he was suffering from issues relating to having no immunity. That's scary. My son and I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, an autoimmune disease, We have very little immunity. I watch him like a hawk. We've both had COVID 5 times, badly
Poor Jim. What a lovely person he was.
Bonnie, wow. What a beautiful friend. Just wow.
I’m at work trying not to cry…😢…that way his family just unconditionally loves ❤️ him is everything
What a beautiful story
This is so sad. I wish more of gay men in his situation had the love of family when they needed it most. RIP - Jim 😭💔
Jim Butcher Rest in Peace my beautiful Gay Brother in pride, rest in peace and paradise.
He has lovely family and friends even in his darkest hours he is blessed to have all this support makes me cry 😢
They were just happy to have their son bck all negativity was left in the past where it belongs ❤
Beautiful documentary. Thanks for doing this and showing the other side of family acceptance.
Most of us could never tell our families. Sometimes they knew but no one would talk about it. I remember my mom reading a letter from a girlfriend (that she stole from my drawer in my room) and spent the rest of the day puking.
Being raised fundamentalist, we were always told that charismatics were wackos. So, the two are not the same thing. Isn’t it weird that Christians judge other Christians…I guess they’re not busy enough with things that matter.
RIP Jim.
so sad wow a powerful story im so happy he had his family by his side
Wow. 😢 Despite their differences, his parents demonstrated the truth of what it is to show love. You don’t have to agree with everyone’s views, but you can love despite differences. You can make peace. You can show mutual honor.
I cried with such gratefulness for Jim.
And he didn't look ill at all. So sad for him. RIP Jim.
He was hanging on to tell his family. He let go then. He was happy.
Wow! Absolutely beautiful ending of the beautiful beautiful history ❤congratulations mom and dad
What a lovely man. I believe he's in heaven flying high" god Judges the heart of man" and he had a Beautiful heart.
Super handsome guy. RIP. ❤
Beautiful. Tragic.
So grateful that Jim got the response he needed from his parents. Many don't. I hope he was able to go home in his last days,
I’m so glad his family accepted him. I’ve heard some absolute horror stories. People who called themselves parents abandoning their dying children. I cannot fathom doing that to my child. I feel like Jim’s parents were of the same mind.
I'm so glad he had that time with them before passing on...❤
Jim was such a sweetie pie, his family was wonderful. I wish they had more time with each other.
Such a beautiful soul and handsome man. May he RIP.
I have sobbed like a baby😭😭
This was brilliant to watch .I miss my dad so much
RIP Jim
thank God the world is changing and that people can live with HIV that it isn't a death sentence.
A true family loves you no matter what i can understand how Jim feels ❤
Rest easy he just look like his mom very beautiful soul
Gosh he was a hottie. He looks so much like the very first man I was involved with back in 1989, who helped me figure out I was gay (he died three years later).
This just broke my heart so very sad.
Damn what a story. It had me bawling at the end, too see the love they had for Jim. I believe God, gave Jim the time to reconnect with his family, then brought him home, to have no more worries, regrets and pain.😢
So powerful
I’m gay and my family could not love me anymore. I am one of the lucky ones
learn how to punctuate , makes no sense.
I am so sorry😢. When I was unplanned pregnant I prayed to god "please let it be a girl or if it´s a boy let him be gay". Well, he went out to be a very cis-straight young man, but open minded without toxic masculinity. I hope You will find a man whos family loves to adopt You as their son in law. I send You a hug🤗
So a sad story 😭
I’m bawling
Me too.
Wow he died two weeks after that
I went on that same ferry to my sisters wedding 😢
😢sad but a lovely breakthrough ending😢
I have a some a two daughters and if any of them said they where gay it would not make one difference. I love them unconditionally and they are my children and how they love their lives is completely up to them x
Well, he looked quite healthy though
He looked healthy. No KS and no wasting. So when HIV+ patients T-cells drop and viral load is high to the point of AIDS, you could be healthy and fit one day and seriously ill the next???
It would vary based on the person. Yes, most of the time there was weight loss and some incidence of opportunistic disease that might come and go, but there were rare cases where death would come more rapidly.
Yes. Your t-cell count doesn't affect your appearance. It sounds like he developed pneumocystis pneumonia, which was one of many opportunistic infections. It was extremely virulent and had no outward symptoms until it was too late. It killed quickly.
@@BoardroomBuddha so when one has crossed from being HIV+ to having AIDS, one can look healthy and be mostly healthy but with no immunity any opportunistic disease can come along and take a person out that quick?
This virus is so deadly even in 2022 because these new medications may stop working, then one has to go new medications that may or may not work.
Question. Why are so many television commercials stating that HIV is no longer a death sentence? It's too broad of a statement.
@@crocodile1313 Please reseach the recent following medical breakthroughs of HIV medications, a pending HIV vaccine and pending HIV functional cure(s) that all could mark the end of HIV/AIDS:
(1) The FDA approved per-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) injectable medication called *Apretude* , developed by Viiv Healthcare, is injected in the buttocks, as an infusion (nanosuspension), one month apart and every two months thereafter, or can be taken orally as a pill called Cabotegravir (also called Vocabria).
(2) The *Trogarzo* (Ibalizumab), developed by TaiMed Biologics, a HIV1 medication is an intravenous (IV) infusion given over 15 to 30 minutes every two weeks. It is a combination used with other antiretroviral medicines to treat HIV1 infection on adults who have been on different HIV1 treatments regimens in the past, resistant to other antiretroviral medicines and currently on an HIV1 treatment regimen that is failing.
(3) Early results as of July 2022 of the new antiretroviral medication called *Lenacapavir* (LEN Gilead Sciences) is being studied to treat and prevent HIV infection. This HIV drug belongs to the cupsid inhibitor family of HIV drugs, which lenacapavir is made to prevent HIV from multiplying and reduce HIV in the body. Lenacapavir is currently in Phase 2/3 development of HIV treatment and in Phase 3 devlopment for HIV prevention. Lenacapavir may not work against HIV strains that's resistant to other HIV drugs. If lenacapavir passes Phase 3, the data gathered in the current clinical trials will be sent to the FDA for review and approval. If FDA approved, lenacapavir would be taken orally every six (6) months.
(4) The combined mRNA HIV vaccines called *mRNA 1644* (eOD-GT8 60mer mRNA) + *mRNA 1644v2Core* (Core-g28v2 60mer) , by Moderna, with collaboration with the non-profit scientific organization, IAVI. This combined vaccine has been approved by the FDA to start phase 3 trials, with the first patent dose with the mRNA HIV vaccine in March 2022.
(5&6) The two HIV gene therapies utilized as functional cure for HIV1 are called *AGT103-T* , by America Gene Technologies and *EBT-101* , by BioTherapeutics. These two are currently in human clinical trials, with a full release of results and hopefully FDA approved between 2027-2032.
Yes, sometimes the first opportunistic infection, the first signs of immunodeficiency, was so bad, it was fatal. Could happen in days in uncommon, but not rare, cases.
I've had to let go of evangelical, fundamentalist Christianity because of the lack of love.
My only regret is not having done it sooner. I lost half of my life to a system that is fundamentally hateful, arrogant and judgmental.
It would be hell to spend eternity with people who are so self-unaware, and so incapable of basic human emotion.
If there were another regret, it would be leading others into the paths of this darkness.
Yet myself and my husband are Christians and have had a different experience. True, as we're ALL JUST FLAWED HUMANS, there are some people we may not love, or like ...but we have caring, accepting, supportive Christian friends. We love Jesus and would NEVER turn from our Faith!!. (Although , we have turned from the establishment of a Church Building). .WE love and pray, now, in our way. Not how others tell us to do. Sad you gave up your Faith in Jesus!! , Blaming Him Instead of Human Church attenders. Then again, you didn't have much faith , in the first place, to talk as you do
Yes I remember the aids crisis very well I'm 62 now i was a young man at the start of reports of a gay pneumonia and cancer, juring the late 80's i knew some friends who got thin and slowly died of dreadful infections in their prime of life, young generation have no knowledge what it was like
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
So very sad that Jim didn’t have long time with his family; he died so soon afterwards. Tragic. It’s wonderful that his family did not reject him but so many families did reject their sons/brothers/sisters/friends. His mother completely ignores the fact that straight people can get Aids thru hetero sex too!!
And, at the time , contaminated blood Transfusions. And Drug addicts, even now, sharing infected needles. We have so much that's being forgotten. We are badly failing today's youth, who need proper Education. It's ok we have treatment. It's still possible to die, of full blown AIDS, if the patient doesn't know the signs and symptoms and get early diagnosis and treatment
So sad his whole life he led such a tortured existence because of religion.
I find comfort knowing he did die Extremely fast" because I've seen the long version of aids deaths and it's a horrible way to go" they are almost Unrecognizable almost like walking dead...
The true born again Christian is the one who loves unconditionally. Gay or not the Lord loves us unconditionally. And it is our responsibility to pass his tests that he puts in front of us . This family exemplifies true Christianity.
I lived in Waikiki back in the day...I later learned that gay men sold everything and moved there to die in Hawaii....i saw a few of them in the early 90 s......one gentleman was having breakfast one morning at Eggs and Things... looked about 35 or so super skinny and had a cane next to him....total gay short cropped hair and mustache look wearing a tank top and shorts....if i could have gone back i would have said good morning to him and engaged him in conversation...him just sitting all alone, but he looked happy....not that he needed my pity or conversation...
We were all so fearful and unaware of what would happen. Truth is MOST EVANGELICAL CHRISTIANS still feel the same way. These people that voted for TRUMP and STILL SUPPORT HIM show THEIR HIPPOCRACY by STILL CONDEMNING and HATING. This young man suffered because of their ignorance and hate. God KNOWS what HE created. GOD HAS ALWAYS LOVED HIM. FUNDAMENTALIST CHRISTIANS don't reflect GOD'S LOVE. His parents proved what wonderful parents he had. What a blessing, but they still hold on to their beliefs and choose to believe he sinned. That is a way of saying, YOU STILL WENT AGAINST WHAT WE BELIEVE AND YOU'RE GOING TO HELL ! AS. A CHRISTIAN, OF NEARLY 62 YEARS, I can't go along with that. This young man was a creation of GOD and ALL THEY CAN DO IS RECITE BIBLE VERSE to SATISFY THEIR OWN BELIEFS. If they whole heartedly loved their son, HE WOULD COME FIRST, NOT SCRIPTURE FROM A BOOK THAT MOST PEOPLE CONSIDER A BOOK IF FAIRY TALES THEY WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THEIR CHOICES AND BELIEFS. I'M SO SORRY HE PASSED AWAY, BUT NOW HE'S FREE FROM ALL THE CHRISTIAN HATE AND JUDGEMENT EVEN AS HE WAS DYING. RIP JIM .GOD "ALWAYS" LOVED YOU
You're talking about AMERICAN CHRISTIAN BELIEFS, CLEARLY. JUST MORE NUTS, LIKE TRUMP FOLLOWERS, THE GUN BRIGADE, SHOOTERS IN SCHOOLS. Nothing to do with Faith in Jesus, just politics. Americans are far from normal. As a Christian, from far far away, our Faith is real and completely different to yours. Amen
Jim was a hero for all of us 18 year old gay boys in 1994 who were scared what our future might hold, that one slip up meant not seeing 30. Because Jim fought, my life was easier. Its so sad he did not make it to 1996 when HAART became available.
This wonderful documentry needs to be re-edited for purposes of audio and picture qualities.
do you know what happened to him?
He says God gave no answer to his prayers 6:35. But maybe God gave the most loving answer of all - namely that he didn't need to change, that he wasn't evil and that he was close to God just the way he was.
He doesn’t look sick here.
The “news” people loved denigrating “Christian’s”, as if they would never accept their son/brother. I absolutely detest these people.
19:00"the darkest moment of my life"
I know why he died he was free now that he told his parents but he really couldn’t actually maybe live that life or his life with his parents knowing the truth
He seemed pretty content at the end of this film so I doubt that
Actually, he died because he had no immunity to infection. Discussed, by him, in this programme. He then got pneumonia and it killed him. 🤷 I wonder WHY don't people bother to watch, hear and retain the information in these documentaries. Otherwise, why watch?, So much ignorance and rubbish spouted
Dad seems questionable 🤔