This was a hard one to film and I had to take breaks which means more cuts than usual. Regardless, I hope you enjoy. INTJ, INTJ Female, Myer Briggs, 16 Personalities
I wish this video existed 30 years ago. I've kept my world so small that I never met anyone else quite like me until I had my first child who is INTJ. I've always tried to protect him from these things ppl say and the way they make us feel. I felt like an alien my entire life and learned how to fake acting "normal" just so ppl can feel comfortable around me at work. It's so exhausting that when I get home I am a complete hermit. I can't tell you how many times I have been told, "That's just not how ppl think Lisa! Nobody thinks like you!" Then me screaming inside, but if I am human and I think this way then it must be rational or there must be others who agree. This video touched me and I have enjoyed all your content so far. I look forward to more videos. Thank you.
"If I am a human and I think this way then it must be rational or there must be others who agree..." THIS THIS THIS. 100% exactly how I've always viewed it. As I've aged, I've gotten much better at reworking my thoughts to make more sense to other people, but only if it's worth the amount of energy and patience that takes. I'm okay with the masses not understanding me, it's just friends, family, and past romantic partner that really cut deep.
@@nikiyikes5674 Rational Mayby not, you could say its logical that is to say if you can achieve it then somehow someone else can to by themselves or with help just like despite inumerous machines existing has diferent units or with diferent pieces can achieve the same result , there is really not any limit to how much something is worth but i am a bit of a idealist, i usually vlaue it at the moment, and follow trow
It takes a lot of courage as an INTJ to open up the way you did in this video so kudos to you! Keep telling your stories because one of the strength of being an INTJ is learning through listening. I'm sure you're making an impact on a lot of lives with these type of videos. You got a new fan!
Thank you very much! I hate stereotypes, and while I'm not a fan of the internet, I still enjoy connecting with people. It's shocking to me that I have any sort of traction.
@@nikiyikes5674 please keep telling your truth. I feel like INTJs need it just as much if not more than most other types. You're really relatable, keep it up queen 👑
As an "unhealthy infp", who is almost always stuck in his magical fairytale land and who then tries to radically compensate for it for a period of time, I can assure you, that you're not the only one out there who struggles with relationships! Whenever I'm around intj's I always feel grounded in a way, which is nice! I also think that you look and are quite beautiful and I can't imagine anyone seriously thinking otherwise! 🧐❤️
@@nikiyikes5674 whaaat? Black clothes AND tattoos? That's quite outrageous indeed, I mean you should've known better than that! 😂 If they already get triggered by that, then I gotta see this town for myself and show them all the nuance a black shirt can have. 😊
Nice cat ears 👀 I’m an intj as well, those younger years definitely make you feel like an outcast. It doesn’t help that you’re so sure about yourself & that you’re going about your way, but it helps to atleast not care enough about what others think of you
Yes, but when it comes to those closest to us, it's only human to care. Especially as a child who is looking for safety and acceptance, but gets the opposite. Outside of that, I was very unapologetic because who were they to me? Thanks for commenting!
@@nikiyikes5674 As an INTJ, I totally can relate to you. Anyway, I never really care what others think about me since I was a child as I know myself very well.
The only thing i hate about being an INTJ is that i seem boring and creepy to others. It's difficult to find relationships because of that on top of being severely independent. It sometimes feels like a contradiction where i like my solitude, but i dont want to be alone. Im more comfortable with a relationship where we each do our own thing, but enjoy eachothers company. But it seems like most people like to be overly attached and lovey dovey. Now im turning 30 and have never felt more alone. I don't have as many opportunities to meet people and being by myself for so long has me set in my independent ways to where it may be too late for me in finding a significant other.
There's an INTJ meme i came across that was a little too relatable. At 9yo, an INTJ was told they're a well behaved kid. At 17yo, they're told they're mature for their age. 23yo they're boring. And at 30yo they're creepy.
It does become much harder to meet people as we age and stop forcing ourselves to do things we don't want to do. I booted a lot of old friends from my life when I had enough of smothering myself to be seen as "fun" simply because they weren't accepting of me. Afterword's, it was the LEAST lonely I'd ever felt. I found this quote that resonates perfectly where I am in my journey now: “People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don't think that's true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.”
There is an INTJ guy I met in the gym as an INFJ and as much as I have a soft spot for him because I can see him and feel his energy which is very similar to mine , in truth dating him would be very difficult for me . Fact is that most women are extroverted feelers who express their emotions or high Fi users. It’s almost like he has no social graces , at one point he replied to my message 12 hours later and did not even apologise for the delay …. And did not reach out as much .In contrast I met another INTJ I fell for many years ago and what I loved about him was that even though he would tell me he is not good with words he would still try and through this I saw his pure heart. He would also show up in actions …. I think learning how to emotionally connect and be there for a woman and social graces would help INTJ men a great deal …. You do want to be prepared when you come across this woman …. With the first guy I just assumed like any other woman would that he is not into me and kept it moving . I still have not gotten over the latter
@@ma6542 A healthy INTJ will 100% put forth effort even if it's uncomfortable and awkward. If I dedicate my time and energy to something, I'm serious about it. There's 1000 other things I could be doing, after all. So I don't think you were exactly wrong in your thought process, but we all have to communicate what we expect and want from others. Even fully in love with, I'll have times I'm not around my phone and I'm having to prioritize something else. To me, that doesn't warrant an apology, but I've upset past boyfriends doing that. Then again, I was a VERY unhealthy and emotionally unavailable INTJ.
@@nikiyikes5674 yes unfortunately INTJs already have an inexpressive face so it’s already intimidating to begin with during the initial stages . I have experienced it and an emotionally unavailable INTJ is impossible and painful for anyone to get to know . I think INTJs if hurt even once can clam up and shut the other person out completely and all that achieves is complete deterioration of the friendship or relationship . I think communicating that you need time to process your feelings and will come back to express them when your ready reassures the other person. The emotional unavailability can plunge the other person into an emotional turmoil which is quite hurtful. I’ve always wondered how to get an emotionally unavailable INTJ to be more available … is that even something possible or do you recommend the partner just let the INTJ be ?
Hi! Fellow INTJ - this is very relatable and very similar. (Male) so I can only imagine the extra difficulties for being female. Your right (you already know) but keep pushing this stuff out of you - I am doing the same thing but your right. We process a realm that most people will never know exists. That can lead to severe isolation, but a true INTJ would never have it any different. Keep it up!
My biggest difficulty is translating abstract thoughts into coherent sentences, but I'll keep pushing! Mixing my content up with fun videos helps a lot. Thanks for the comment!
@@nikiyikes5674 same! I’ve spent a long time writing things down and ‘formulating’ reality. I have come up with a pretty cool model around it ‘ ‘how to best proceed” being intj. Would be happy to show you. It will also clarify ( via ‘I AM ___ and others ARE NOT___’) which will then allow you to make easier decisions (for your own good) around all the ‘who what when where why’s” of your life!
As an intj, I'll tell you Smth.. hating yourself means that you don't know yourself enough.. This world is meaningless nothing deserve to hate yourself bc of it. You are the only one who can trust.loving yourself means having self confidence.. Just not caring about people's opinion will cause you more problems cause you are lying to yourself the human is a set of feelings we are actually taking care of people's opinions even if we hide this fact to ourselves so the first step to actually get self confidence is to be completely honest with yourself which is Smth difficult to do for real but it's possible of course.. Second just live your life baby..this life will teach you a lot..being an intj the mastermind is Smth I'm so proud of girl..we are so cool isn't we☺🌚??+ your skin is holy awesome 💓😂
I have always known myself but I also hated being an INTJ and by extension the way I viewed and interacted with the world. I was convinced I could change that lol Thankfully I was able to heal past traumas and...look at me! Still an INTJ after all this time. Thanks for the comment!
i basically already hate the world would hating myself improve anything don't think so it would break more things, if you don't know yourself what do you know?
I'm 22 and often hate being INTJ - doomed to wander this world lonely and misunderstood. I had a few mental breakdowns thinking about how I will possibly be forever alone, even though I can hardly admit it.
You won't be. I'm not saying it will be an easy road ahead of you but I had these very feelings at your age. Just focus on yourself and learn to love who you are. You will gain confidence in yourself over time. You have to become your own hero and biggest supporter. I stayed to long in a toxic relationship because I couldn't admit failure and we had a child. Once I realized it was doing more damage than good I moved on. I have a family and a good relationship now. I can tell you he doesn't always understand me but he definitely loves me for who I am and let's me be me. There are ppl out there who find us incredible people to be around. You are unique and that's what makes you amazing. Don't waste your time on those who don't see it. It does take a long time for ppl to know us and if they stay on the ride then they are worth keeping around. Don't ever give up because you are not doomed. I say I never wish to be young again because I hated the person I was. I am 40 this year and the happiest I've ever been with myself and my life. I truly never thought I'd be here.
@@LisaMarie-br8tn thank you for your kind words. It's especially hard for me when I cross paths with people who are very similar to me (infjs and other intjs mostly) but they aren't very interested in pursuing any kind of relationship. I don't know what is in their heads, and from my experience that's what disturbs me the most.
What goes on in other peoples heads will forever remain a mystery and that's okay. We just need to know what goes in our own, and then things start looking clearer without fog in the way. I used to be so riddled with anxiety until I learned about myself and accepted all the good and bad. Afterwards, I was able to better read people as a result and that helped reduce social anxiety and self-doubt. I may lack certain social awareness or struggle to emote, but I made up for it by harnessing my natural ability to be objective to clear up confusing situations. Now I can observe someone and I know what's going on beneath the shallow exterior to a certain extent. It's enough to guide me into having the confidence to take action when in my youth I used to wait for things to happen or for people to come to me. Now I'm just confident in what I'm thinking, feeling, and what my instinct is telling me. This is the hard part about being an Ni type, but everything starts with ourselves and then we can spread it outwards. You WILL find your tribe and your people.
I used to do the same. I did eventually find some people that helped a bit though. Being introverted + being rare is not the best combo for finding people that could accept you, as you will in general meet less people which in turn means you will be even less likely to find the rarer peculiar people you are compatible with. Good luck though
@@nikiyikes5674 Wait you guys don't put yourselves in other peoples positions? Isn't that like the first thing you should do like its very questionable your origin i would think if you can't put yourselves in someones head and follow trow with the action "at hand" or just never developed ability, for whatever reason?
Same, it is tough to be an INTJ especially being female. There are so many societal expectations. Like for example, I am just sitting and I don't want to talk, people would say you can talk, do you find us noisy. Like in my head, I do not want to spend energy on anything right now.
Wow the sense of self thing, so real. I feel like 4 year old me (earliest memories) is the same person as 41 year old me. Took me a very long time to understand that other people didn't have a firm sense of self, or one at all. I still can't imagine it. That said, I always liked wearing the bright colors (probably due to 80's cartoon and fashion influences that I grew up with, but who knows), and was told that was a phase (it wasn't). I did however always know they had the issue, not me. Saying I was making attitude faces when I know I wasn't feeling anything or was actually happy. I had the benefit of knowing that these shitty adults were just projecting, even when It was frustrating. Thank you for making the video. Subscribed
I do enjoy your content far more than the other personality type content here. Sharing your experiences, rants, and perspectives is far more enlightening than just the surface level overviews that other videos offer. I can learn a lot from what you have to say.
Thank you! I wasn't sure how interested anyone would be when I first started the channel, so it's a pleasant surprise that people find it enjoyable or enlightening.
It's incredible how much I relate to everything you say. Which makes me feel less "alone", in a sense? Even though I'm sure we're different in many aspects, there's so much I recognize in what you say, that I feel understood. And that's a wonderful feeling I didn't get a lot of through my life so far. So thank you for that. I wouldn't go as far as to say that I hated being an INTJ (even before I knew what that even was). But I was acutely aware of how different I was compared to almost anyone else around me, and the cost that had on myself. I feel both blessed and cursed. Blessed because, for instance, my analytic skills prevented me from suffering a lot and guided me through a mostly fulfilling life - but those same analytic skills force me to see the Absurd around me in such a clear way that it can be overwhelming, like you said. So much noise, so much wasted time and talent, so much needless and avoidable suffering. "For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief", reads an aphorism in Ecclesiastes, and that's exactly right. Anyway, I made peace with myself. I am what I am, the world is what it is. Both I and the world will change, but a lot about us won't. Reality can hurt when you are able to see how much better it could be, but truth is a friend, and I'd rather have an unpleasant reality than a pleasant illusion, I suppose. Anyway, I hope you had a nice dinner! Loved the cat ears. Looking forward to your next video (but please don't feel pressured to make a new one!). Cheers.
It's no wonder that I was so sad and tired all the time as a child. Once you see something you can't unsee it - especially when you're faced with it around every corner. It took me time to detangle myself, if you know what I mean.
Never knew people of past had a self aware understanding on matter of knowledge. I myself came to realization that “to know is to suffer” not “to live is to suffer”. Although this being a scripture, it might have been written not from a place of realization but a place of opposition. As Adam an Eve took an apple from a tree of knowledge if I am not mistaken. I personally came to understanding that suffering is an integral part of my identity and embraced it.
@@eve_______ Well, people of the past are no less people than any of us today. Perhaps they lacked in knowledge, compared to the present day, but not in intelligence, perception, or intuition. I'm sure there are similar aphorisms in many different cultures of the past - I only cited biblical scripture because it's the one I'm more acquainted with, and perhaps the most culturally relevant in western society.
@@WolfoxBR I disagree. Although I understand what you mean by past, but past writing or in periods when writing wasn’t common people wouldn’t stand a chance of matching the intelligence of today. Because verbal internal thinking is something we developed later on due to rationalization of inner voice. For less academic person that would be the voice of Gods (As we see mentioned quite a lot in mythology, where individuals feel guided by a voice of God) We still keep evolving so it is only natural to assume that people of past were less sophisticated, even if we get to experience micro evolution over the span of centuries.
Thank you for sharing, Niki. I've also had similar experiences in terms of people that are acquaintances or even strangers that stated I should not wear so much black (I used to wear literally all black at work, and it wasn't even like eccentric clothes, just regular clothes but in the color black), that I should talk more and smile more and do this and do that but make sure if anything I am like 'them'. I think there is a complex reason why society is like this, and I'm not going to get into that 😂😂 Looking forward to seeing more content, have a good one
It's always nice to watch your video and thank you for the courage to make videos in sharing your thoughts and insights~😊 Everyone can learn from each others. So do I~ I'm an INFP and staying together with my close friend who is an INTJ too. I learned a lot from her and she's a total brilliant gem that I can ever have in my life, never fails to surprise me and I really enjoy her company. So to you Nikki, stay true to yourself! 😎
That's fascinating. I too initially hated getting the INFJ label when I took the Myers Briggs in High School, but for the opposite reason of feeling like I was more of a thinker then a feeler. Like I did not prioritize my own feelings on things at all, and felt more of an observer trying to understand and solve others feelings as I felt it all connected to a larger picture that my mind was seeking to understand. I didn't understand what the code actually meant. After learning the cognitive functions it started to make sense and fell into place. It always bugs me when people try to differentiate people as "feeling" and "thinking". From my perspective we all do it all, just expressed in different ways that just makes us look different and perceive things different. I also hate the idea of being unique. Being "unique" is more like a kind of torture in a way, but I also experienced that irritation of people picking on my looks and how I did things. And I think for me the painful part of it comes down to not feeling seen. It's not like I don't like how I am, its that I'm almost never seen even when I'm trying to make myself seen. So I just give up trying most of the time. I think the closest to feeling seen is by friends I've typed as an INTJ. And with other INFJs I tend to feel understood more then seen. I'm not sure if that is what is going on, but that is just how it has felt from my purely subjective experience. I think it's something like this ENFPs hold space for me, INTJs make me feel seen, INFJs make me feel understood. I don't really understand it, but this is just from my unique experience. I think understanding type has more just given me the words to a lot of things I had previously observed or noticed but without the words to describe it, so that is why I like it. For me it's not a box, but a vocabulary.
I would say the unique concept is usually given due to the fact of being stuck with a situation and maze has well do the best of it wit h from, each person so its not that we are not ot the same but we have nothing to win from being the same you could call it somemanipulation but anyone smart enough past a point would see i t, thinkers would naturally feel like youa re seen since, mainly external ones primed since it cuts cold ,, into what you are with no regard for wht you think or might hide, in other words it doesn't lie, whille feeling would take what you give it and make sense from what it knows with disregard for what it doesn't yet, so regardless if the result is true truthfully it comes across
You are quite brave to talk about things like this and to share your feelings with others on a video. Just the thought of making a video like this and posting it raises my anxiety levels, so kudos to you. I can relate to some of what you are saying. I first took the MBTI test in a college freshman class on leadership and communication. One of those required 'humanities' classes. The only humanities class that I remember really enjoying was 20th Century Science Fiction Literature because we got to read sci-fi novels, some of which I'd already read, discuss them and write about them. I've always enjoyed reviewing things like books, gadgets, movies etc. so it was a fun class. I had a great teacher for that class who was a Nebula Award winning author himself. Had some great philosophical and conceptual discussions with him in that class. Anyway, in the leadership class, they had us take the MBTI test and I tested as INTJ. After the test, they had us read about the test and what the different personality types meant. I could understand why I tested as I did because I was totally honest in answering the questions rather than answering how one might expect a 'perfect' person to answer them. I've taken it several times since for different jobs in which they used it as part of employee training, or in an effort to help the employees get to know each other better, etc. I've always tested as an INTJ. In the Enneagram tests which I've taken as part of a club I've joined in an effort to socialize outside of work (which is so very hard for me to do), I tested as a 5 wing 4 which is sort of equivalent to being on the fence between an INTJ and an INFJ. It's an interesting alternative personality theory which in some ways takes the complexity of human cognition and behavior into account more than MBTI does, but both are interesting. It makes some sense too because I've always been a little bit more interested in art and learning for their own sake without needing it to be a step towards achieving a big goal than the stereotypical INTJ is. I'm also less confrontational than the 'typical' INTJ and tend to let things go rather than risk damaging a relationship. I've always hated to argue, especially if things become heated. I know what you mean about growing up feeling like you don't fit in and that you aren't good enough to suit other people. I grew up on a cattle ranch in a rural area of Western Nebraska in the 70's, so I was expected to be a cowboy. However, I never was interested in rodeos, riding horses, listening to country music, etc. I preferred to stay in my room and draw imaginary maps, monsters, robots etc., listen to music, read comics and sci fi and fantasy novels, play with my Star Wars toys and things like that. I helped on the ranch the best I could because my dad needed me to, but I never enjoyed it. I didn't think that most country music was interesting and preferred music that was considered 'weird' by my peers like The Police, Dave Mathews Band, Spin Doctors, classical music like Strauss and Mozart, etc. I never related to other people very well and had very few friends. Most of my friends were also outcasts like me because they had recently moved there for their dad's work and they weren't any good at sports like me either, so they were rejected by the other kids. My best friend was a kid who spent most of his time at home because he had asthma so severe that he'd have an attack if he ran for more than 40 yards or something like that and would need oxygen. Our parents set up play dates for us so that we could keep each other company. He was really into G.I. Joe and western movies because his uncle was a stunt man for westerns. We used to watch them together and he'd point out the scenes where his uncle was doing a stunt. He hated having his medical condition as much as I hated mine because it limited us so much. I was born with a tumor on my brain that affected my eyes - preventing me from being able to focus so I saw everything double and thus had no depth perception. It also gave me massive headaches and fevers high enough to make me hallucinate. So you can imagine that I wasn't any good at all at the stuff that boys were 'supposed' to enjoy doing. Took the doctors years to figure out what was causing my symptoms and some of their guesses included mental retardation, so you can imagine how that hurt my family, especially my mom who felt so bad about it. Mothers of kids born with physical and/or mental challenges often feel like it's their fault that their kid turned out that way. She had migraine headaches and depression for most of my childhood. I finally got physical therapy for the double vision and the tumor shrank enough that I didn't have fevers anymore, but not until I was about eight years old, so I was incredibly behind the 'normal' kids around me. Once I was able to see words on the page like I should and started to learn to read, I became a voracious reader and spent a lot of time in the library which was also a sanctuary from the bullies since the librarian didn't put up with any nonsense. You actually had to be very quiet in libraries in those days. To make a long story shorter, I'm not sure how much of my personality is genetic and how much is shaped by my experiences, but given all that I went through, it's no surprise that I'd be like an INTJ. None of the kids who befriended me stayed in the county long before their dad would get a job somewhere else, so I never had a close friend for more than a year or two and there was a lot of time between that and the next time a family with a kid I could relate to would move into our tiny community. Really, my wife, whom I didn't meet until I was 30, is the first best friend I've had for more than a couple of years. We've got quite a bit in common, though she's a little more outgoing than I am. She's likely an INFJ. Great video. I appreciate your content.
Hey! I just stumbled upon your video. And I'm glad that I did because I'm curious and intrigued by Intjs. Sharing your experiences and thoughts helps in understanding them. I've met one intj so far. Though he seem emotionless on the outside, I think he has a soft core. I remember sending him a gift (because we live far from each other). The thing that I gave him was something I thought he would like based on what I recalled from our few convos in the past. And I didn't expect he would message me and thank me. He even told me it made him tear up, which I find very touching and endearing. And to think that he told me what he felt (though he quickly unsent that message but I read it lol) made me very happy that he appreciated it. Intjs are such wonderful people. Thank you for this video. And I find you very beautiful, Niki. I hope you're doing well these days :) - Isfj
i really like how you talk about being an intj in a deeper sense because most content about intj are from non-intj people and almost all of them are stereotypes so i've never felt like i could really relat to this label. thank you, i know my people now
People see me as unapproachable and cold. Do I care? No. I prefer to do things on my own and people will always have their opinion of you, will never know who you truly are like you’ll never know who people are truly. That’s how things are. I’m 17 and people who are 40 years old than me learn from me most of the time. It’s hard to be understand by others so I isolate myself. I have 2 really great friends and others usually tell me that I am intimidating because of my opinions and my need of respect towards others and myself. I feel good about myself but I know connecting with people will always be my issue.
I'm a 59 year old INTJ. The best advice I can give you is be you. There are others like you in the wold and you will connect with them when you least expect it and you will feel like you have known those people your entire life. You will just click. They will just get you. I'm friends with an INTP coworker - similar to an INTJ, but not. Still comforting to have someone nearby that gets me. Embrace your intuitive side. That is your superpower.
Oh, wow. Thank you for enjoying my videos and for connecting with them. I keep intending to update more frequently, so I hope you stayed tuned while I try to figure out a schedule.
Wow I'm really glad I stumbled upon your channel! Your story seems so similar to my own it's almost scary. I've only watched a couple of your videos so far but it sure feels that way. I've always had problems with people but I feel like for myself I deeply craved human connection, love, and affection but I had to force myself to pretend to be how people wanted in order to be accepted. To a certain degree I ended up being a people pleaser to the point where I had terrible boundaries, still working on those honestly. Obviously this was very unhealthy, mostly because I was being inauthentic, and you can only maintain that for so long. If you can't be your true self you will end up miserable no matter who you are with. I know you might hate labels but it's important to remember that with the MBTI everyone is on scales, this is why there is some debate if the big five is a better model, to me it seems like just another version of the same thing though. Most of the problems people seemed to have had with the MBTI was to do with when people would get different results while taking additional tests or get close to a 50/50 split in a given function, clearly forgetting this test just shows your natural tendency. People seem to forget even if you are labeled an introvert you can still go out and act extraverted, hanging out with a group of friends for example, you just have a default of wanting to spend most of your time alone. The same can be said of extraverts, they are not incapable of being alone and introspective they just prefer to be around people most of the time. Some people prefer to read, others prefer to hang out with friends at the beach, all of those people are typically capable of doing the same things they just choose to do some things more than others. Not sure why this confuses some people. Personally I loved MBTI for awhile, still do to a degree, because it helped so much with self discovery. For example yes I am an INTJ but maybe a weirder/weaker one to be sure. My functions scale like this---> *Rough estimatation* Introverted 80%/ Extraverted 20% Intuitive 80%/ Sensing 20% Thinking 60%/ Feeling 40% Judging 80%/ Perceiving 20% I've taken so many tests, just trust me those are a good aproximation. I also see a lot of similarities in how we view relationships. I too suffered abuse but I won't go too much into that, but I believe it might be something very similar. Part of your problem getting involved with people may stem from your attachment style. There are plenty of tests out there if you would like to learn more. I even still to this day deeply crave having close relationships both friends and romantically but tend to keep people at a distance. This is done to protect myself from further harm. It's somewhat contradictory but I have both an extreme desire for connection and an extreme avoidance for it, though I have gotten somewhat better over the years. When it comes to romantic relationships I have a tendency to go for the "wounded types" mostly because I see myself in them, the pain they have been through. I feel like I get drawn to them the most because they likely understand the deep lonelyness I have felt at least to a degree. Everyone is different so no two experiences will be exactly the same, even twin siblings. Unfortunately as you have noted in other videos, you eventually come to a point when you realize even if you are helpful and supportive of your partner, some issues they have to address themselves. As one of my therapists put it "You can't want something more for someone than they want it for themselves". I had to learn this the hard way trying to help past ex's work on problems, but they would just resent me for it because they didn't see it as a problem or want to make the change. I know you shouldn't want to change people but when someone you love is doing something highly self destructive, you or at least I, feel compelled to do something to help them, even if they hate me for it. I am usually overly cautious as well, I believe all INTJs are most vulnerable in love. From what I've noticed, once you start the process of dating, people aren't necessarily who they say or tell you they are anymore. Now they are putting forth their best effort to appear to be who they believe you want. Unfortunately it takes time to see behind the mask and know who someone really is, too often people even in love are not necessarily their true self to even their partner. This is why I hate dating, it's like a big game that just wastes so much time when people would be far better off being open and honest from the get go. Would blunt honest rejection hurt? Absolutely! Would it hurt more to find out your partner wasn't who you thought they were after being with them for years??? Definitely! I'm still on my journey to find love but a big part of that is just getting out there to meet people, probably the hardest part. That's what makes it nice to hear from others to know we aren't in this alone. You already know this but, you mentioned this when you were talking about living in your head. Yeah I think we all do this to a degree, I think it's part of what makes us seem so weird or alien to others. You seem to be doing a fine job though putting yourself into the real world with your videos though. I think it's something all INTJs could stand to do more. I forget where I saw it but it was another video I saw on our type and it said this in response to those of us who aren't exposed to the proper stimulus: "An INTJ without the proper exposure is like a chess master playing chess against chickens" Just a good reminder to get out in the real world for all of us, if we want to improve we very much need it. As our experience in the real world grows so does our knowledge and how to use it, also our subconscious has more data to recognize the patterns so our Ni can help us achieve our goals. I wouldn't listen to what people say about us, we may be protrayed as cold calculating and misunderstood super villians in popular media but in reality we feel very deeply. We do not show our emotional selves too easily, usually because of fear, we have a very fragile squishy inside and we don't want to be hurt. The biggest hurdle is usually ourself, to take that leap of faith to attempt to let someone in our life, hopefully for the better. I have no doubt you will succeed on your journey, nor I on mine. I look forward to seeing more of your content! P.S. Sorry for this "Great wall of comment"
All I can say is ‘no worry’. Being INTJ is actually cool. Embrace your uniqueness. We are so worried that we can’t fit in and people want to change us. But please don’t. We change ourselves on our own good time. As a matured older INTJ, I can tell you that age makes us softer. We appreciate our unique personality as well as the personality of others and world is better and a lot more beautiful that way. We don’t have to be nice, we just need to be kind. I think having an understanding partner with compatible personality can give us comfort and freedom to be who we are. So, when you find one, you know. It’s not so alien and misunderstood anymore.
Bravo 🎉. Seriously. What’s almost as tragic (in a healthy way) is being an ENTP who “gets it” better than most and speaks this language and has an INTJ female friend (not u but strikingly similar) who, like everything u said, blocks him out. But it’s refreshing to also realize the timing for her wasn’t right and that’s ok considering what she’s had to deal with and the many things u clarified. Also if it’s not z”meant to be” that’s also ok too. At the end of the day, what matters to me most is that it took a long time to be someone that could understand (continual process) and as long i made the effort, at least she would appreciate that! Ok hope i trust is not too much! Thank you! That was awesome!!
So so true! (Much respect again to ur insights!!!) btw, I found The movie “emma” with Gwyneth Paltrow to bring comic relief to this reality. Obviously Emma, INTJ. Her guy friend, ENTP (I’m pretty sure)
Hey... Be yourself, you can be anyone in this life. You shouldn't feel bad about who you are, it doesn't matter if you're intj or any of those silly letters, your tastes, your skills, your goals, are what define you. No one is perfect, but we all have something good, you just have to find it and share it to the world
I am INTJ-A & I clearly see stress on your face & you are knowledgeable person & being intj myself I can understand the challenges you face in everyday life.
I'm sorry you had to deal with all of those emotionally toxic situations as a child. (This isn't straight up pity since I get the feeling you'd reject that lol) I like how you mentioned you're somewhat the same now as you were as a kid. You remind me of a friend who had to mature really fast and has been the same for years. I clung to being goofy and immature as a kid since I knew I could and I really resent parents who take that away from kids. If your version of a perfect day was wearing black and enjoying niche hobbies, you should've had the space to do that. I'm glad you're here now to share niche interests in a space where it'll actually be appreciated 😄
As long as the sympathy is genuine, I don't mind the words, "I'm sorry". When I'm comfortable and in a safe space...PHEW! Better watch out because I'm wild and ready for an adventure at any given moment. I'm still very child-like in a lot of ways, and I'm glad I didn't lose that side of myself. Thank you for the support =D
@@nikiyikes5674 I totally get that! People who claim to be spontaneous, but actually just make me nervous are always confused why I seem so closed off and bland. It's cuz I don't feel safe goofing off with YOU. When I'm a in a comfortable environment I'm off the walls excited and open.
It is underestimated how consequential it can be for one's course of life to receive the information consciously and unconsciously from the external world that there is something «wrong» with you throughout all of childhood. I also relate to feeling like I was constantly inconveniencing other people with how I naturally existed in the world when younger. A real battle for self-esteem is started, one which I personally am only starting to win at the age of 31 (INTJ male). I experience that this negative experience is balanced to a certain extent by the inherent contradiction of the fabled INTJ god complex: even when feeling like an alien or a robot amongst people, I also experience situations where I feel like I am considerably better than everyone else, often with a certain verifiable external logical basis for its validity. Unsurprisingly, my life reflects this upbringing like a textbook example: very high performance in my career, an intellectual giant in anything pertaining to ideas, concepts or aesthetics, and absolutely no social life, haha. All personalities have their inherent advantages and disadvantages, and when I focus on the positives of mine I can honestly say that I could not imagine myself existing in any other way. It is a long road to get to that point.
I think true self acceptance is taking a "negative" and turning it into a superpower. Maybe I'm not a very emotional person when being compared to others, but because I'm objective in a time of crisis I can do what others can't. I can also provide people the help they need because I don't make it about myself. However, I'm the wrong person to come to for folks who just want to wallow and suck the life out of people like an energy vampire. Pass. Thank you for the support! I'm just trying to create a schedule while finding ways to stay connected with everyone :)
it took me a long time to even find books by INTJ's, the way of thinking is not common but it is out there, our world does not give a lot of space for introverted intuition though and most of everything is designed for other personality types, awesome to see another INTJ you can just tell from a few minutes of talking
Oh? Well, I'm glad you enjoyed the video and got something from it. If you say my INTJ-ness shows by my speech, I'm inclined to believe you :) Thanks for commenting.
@@nikiyikes5674 I'm always skeptical of people claiming to be an INTJ because they're so rare that it's almost more likely a mistyped ISTJ, ISTP, INTP, or ENTP, but you have a lot of pauses to think and speak about multiple perspectives on an issue like other INTJ's I've seen, 2 tests, clear introversion, and clear sense of identity unlike the other *NTP's who will need to explore that, definitely not traditional like an ISTJ, likely not an in the moment sensor like ISTP, so high chance you are an INTJ, nice to see a rare girl INTJ TH-camr talking about actual experiences, if you like type, there is a big community on TH-cam with cross channel interviews and stuff, you should reach out to some of them and promote your channel
Girl! Ur speaking my language. Even as an adult I've had to, to a certain extent, basically almost dumb myself down to acquiesce to the B. S. around me.... I mean I don't have role models because other humans are not living my life.
I've had the impression a few times now that MBTI is attributed a quasi-religious redeeming effect because it seems to be able to free individuals from the clutches of an oppressive society and find their true selves.
You do realise MBTI is made by society but frees us from radicals that makes us be tied down or frees us from our natural environments so that we can actually do what we whant
To this day, although I remember being supportive of you the whole time I’ve known you, I still hold myself accountable as one of the peers you knew growing up that made you feel this way. Whether it’s true or not, I use it as a learning opportunity so that way I cannot make these mistakes in the future. Edit: basically these videos are really helpful with learning more about one of my oldest friends.
Well, I wasn't exactly receptive to friendship as I'm sure you can recall. If anything, I wasn't the best to you, so there's no need to hold yourself accountable for anything.
This is the perfect kind of video I hated the intj profile I didn't even bother taking the test , I just assumed I was infj for almost a year. But Once I took the test , my life changed , I finally understood and I wasn't alone Everything turned on its head, The brainwashing which had made me reject myself turned backwards . I had subconsciously believed the labels but now I saw them for what they are. To be superior is the intj natural place , other personalities and most especially unhealthy people sense this and try to cover it up anyway they can
I learned a very important lesson the hard way recently: one of our characteristics (as INTJs) is to avoid problems because it's better that way, right? Not doing what most people do, which is going through life without thinking too much about the future and consequences. Well, not to be arrogant but I became so good at avoiding problems that didn't learn the important stuff. I always avoided empty people and empty relationships and when I finally found who I thought was the right person to be with, I was totally unprepared for it and just pushed her away with so many things I hadn't even noticed were problems. I wish I had seen that with anybody else before. I have to force myself to not think too much and make mistakes. Just avoiding the important ones of course. I'm just beginning to see how many barriers that creates to relate with other people and now I know how important that can be. Also, INTJ stereotypes (unfair and incomplete as they are) are in a sense right because that's how we behave with most people most of the time. Yeah, there's so much more to us, but we seldom show that. At least in my case I find the most difficult thing is to find all sorts of balance. How many mistakes to make? How much to trust? How much to face the "real" world? In the end, our personality has both beautiful and ugly traits, just like the others. It seems funny how balanced personalities are with their blessings and curses when you think about it. But I found knowing I'm an INTJ very helpful at least to be aware how different I am and why.
@@nikiyikes5674 Thank you, the format forced me to. It's great you share your stories and details so others can see where it all comes from. It's weird how everything makes so much sense from the inside but looks so different from the outside to most people. Also proving we do have feelings just like everyone else.
@@icaropassosmissel7435 Avoiding problems is very good. But when you avoid every possible problem you can it's like going through life without testing your assumptions. You'll be fine most of the time. But sooner o later something happens that you were unprepared for and can't possibly know how to deal with if you're lucky enough to even realise there's something wrong. And if it's something you deeply care about it's not pretty. So better mess up with things you didn't care that much. I'm not saying that looking for touble is good but getting used to deal with different kinds of problems when they naturally arise is a win in itself. Having said that, I'm still very much risk averse but I'm forcing myself out of my comfort zone every now and then. My life has improved a lot after that, if only subjectively but improved nonetheless.
@@jrluh in my case rather than ending up on a posistion you didn't account before, you get stuck on something if i might say so myself that you don't have any way of improving on, so you have to spend allot of time go ing over what it is in specifics so you know how to deal it despite rare
Thank you so much for sharing this. This is how I feel about this as well and I still don't understand why people find me as arrogant even though I am just trying to be empathetic with them.. but it's mostly FEELERS (F) from Meyer's Briggs test who feel like this. Did you find a good way to communicate with them what you actually feel? Because as you said, we are extremely sensitive, but I just think that people do not see that because of the 'superiority complex'
I have a video planned out that addresses communication and how I've learned to be better at it. I've noticed the same things you have, so I have some thoughts. Thank you so much for watching and taking the time to leave a comment :)
What is it with INTJ's loving heavy metal? I am an INTJ and I too love listening to metal. I have been seeing this pattern occurring quite a few times now.
Regarding the nature of your content: it doesn't have to be on-the-nose INTJ content to be INTJ content. (I say this as someone collaborating with singers on topics that can be explained better with MBTI without needing them - "MBTI-adjacent content" as I call it.) Here's the thing a lot of people in the world don't like to admit, but that you're okay with: very few things in life are truly deductive. A huge percentage of things in textbooks - anything based on correlations, for instance - is inductive via a humongous sample. That's especially true of anything we learn about people. So as I see it, the best thing for us all is to keep adding to the sample size with how we understand things from our types. We're never going to deduce things about type, but we can induce far better if we share. :-)
That's exactly why my channel is the style it is. I don't actually watch MBTI content outside of comedy sketches because it's the same information I could get reading online. I'd much prefer getting to see inside someone's head where I'm shown the answer to my questions VS being told based off statistics. I think that's rarer for an INTJ because it does require some form of vulnerability.
@@nikiyikes5674 I think in general would be good and in addition (if you want) you could rationalize/relate to those 10 things based on your personality traits as well. Win-Win for the content creator and the audience 🙂
Apparently I needed to smile more, I got talks about wearing black too. I got told, you can't say that so I decided not to say anything. Someone tried to hug me and I said no...I don't hug strangers...that was seen as harsh.
Interesting.. Yup I relate to most of it except I never gave a shit about what other people thought of me, so never thought of myself as the problem, not even as a child. Except maybe the handful of people closest to me; but that list has always been very very "handful".
I love rock music in general. I like the classics the most such as Judas Priest, Motley Crue, Skid Row, so forth. Lately I've been into I Prevail which mixes different genres. I enjoy that a lot. Still into everything I was into in my teenage years!
I'm a 19 year old INTJ woman. How in the heck do people feel connected with other people? This is a big struggle for me. I have never felt connected. I do feel love for the people around me, bit I have never felt like I completely fit with them. I have started to wonder if this is because my understanding of connection is delusional or unrealistic. What is your guy's thoughts on this?
I wouldn't say I "hate" it per say, but the experience of everybody telling you there's something wrong with you, when there isn't, and they are all just stupidly poking their nose where it doesn't belong and making false discoveries, is something I am excruciatingly familiar with. At one point, my reclusiveness got me reviewed by a school counselor (because of exaggerated reports by nosy school staff) to see if I belonged in special ed. Completely outrageous. My mental aptitude was off the charts, my IQ has never been below 120 since age 15, and i proved irrefutably that I'm not just mentally capable but highly advanced compared to my peers, and my avoidance of others is by choice. Had things gone differently, the school would have been sued. The fact that I was even pulled into that review was predatory and unacceptable.
I hated being an intj when i was growing up too. Mine stemmed from relationships around me. Why could i not make friends easily? I am a girl it's supposed to be natural. I struggled with friendships. I liked stuff guys liked. Girls didn't get me. Don't get me wrong i had a couple of girlfriends i was close with. I got along better with guys. Then i always faced the accusations of just wanting to date them. Um no i just want to have conversations with people of the same interests. Lord if a guy liked me it would have flown over my head. I am 40 now and have matured a lot, it doesn't get easier or it hasn't for me with friendships. i am married to an enfp, yes he made the first move, and we have deep conversations all the time and have the same interests. So i guess that's enough for me. I talk a little online about my interests but still feel i am ostracized even in online conversations. And if i had a dollar for every time i was told to smile. I might be rich right now😅
I'm an INTJ woman, a good deal older than you. I find it interesting that we have the same complexion, eye color and facial spacing. The older you get, the easier it gets.
It’s funny, everyone things I’m mean looking or cold but when they get to know me they really like me. I don’t have any problems making friends because people find me pretty charismatic. However, making close friends is very difficult.
Please, tell me someone, that not I only got obsessed of MBTI after understanding my type. I mean - hey, don't you take this to much seriously? This is just a joke, and it's not proven yet🙂 - IT EXPLAINED ME EVERYTHING💀 I don't think MBTI system is perfect, I'd love to change some aspects of it. But I see patterns so clear, I have a confidence in this a lot, I don't understand why people don't pay attention on this. This is facking map of society. Formal, somewhere superficial and theoretical, but map. I cant throw out MBTI from my head, I need to understand it completely. I don't mind people thinking that I'm stupid and believe in fiction. But I know what I'm doing And I see this world from afar. The only thing Wich makes me upset all the life is that I can't discuss all of my thoughts with other people. But I'm pretty sociable anyway, I don't feel lonely
This is not a sales pitch. This is serious. Have any of you heard of Psychic Remoteviewing? I first learned about it from a book written by David Morehouse, "Psychic Warrior". Morehouse was a member of a remoteviewing team located on Fort Meade Maryland under project Stargate. I was stationed at NSA and met him briefly while at the base arts and crafts center. We exchanged pleasantries but had I known at the time what he was involved in our conversation would have gone much differently. I hadn't even heard about Psychic remoteviewing at that time and he wouldn't write his book for a couple of more years. In the years since then I have remoteviewed hundreds of targets - it can become addictive - and I have come to believe that intuitive types might have an advantage over other personality types when it comes to remoteviewing. If you want to give it a shot then watch a couple of videos on TH-cam to learn the basics and then download the app RVTournament and give it a go.
You may have gotten stuck in the classic Ni Fi loop. It's depressing, and for no real reason. Use your Te, and Se to break the cycle. Get out of your head, work with people, and tactile things for a short time. It works for me.
Hello there. This video is in the past tense and is talking about before I even knew what Myer Briggs was let alone what an INTJ was. That was over 15 years ago, now. Thanks for the comment.
Ah, my mistake. I was under the impression that INTJs weren't immune to pressures of their family or moments of deep self reflection. I suppose since I was not a robot as a child and still havent become one as an adult, I will never reach true INTJ status. Oh well.
@@nikiyikes5674 I agree, black is what I mainly wear. And I also love Metal. But lately I've been listening to this th-cam.com/video/hqC3ctXTDKA/w-d-xo.html
I wish this video existed 30 years ago. I've kept my world so small that I never met anyone else quite like me until I had my first child who is INTJ. I've always tried to protect him from these things ppl say and the way they make us feel. I felt like an alien my entire life and learned how to fake acting "normal" just so ppl can feel comfortable around me at work. It's so exhausting that when I get home I am a complete hermit. I can't tell you how many times I have been told, "That's just not how ppl think Lisa! Nobody thinks like you!" Then me screaming inside, but if I am human and I think this way then it must be rational or there must be others who agree. This video touched me and I have enjoyed all your content so far. I look forward to more videos. Thank you.
"If I am a human and I think this way then it must be rational or there must be others who agree..." THIS THIS THIS. 100% exactly how I've always viewed it. As I've aged, I've gotten much better at reworking my thoughts to make more sense to other people, but only if it's worth the amount of energy and patience that takes. I'm okay with the masses not understanding me, it's just friends, family, and past romantic partner that really cut deep.
@@nikiyikes5674 Rational Mayby not, you could say its logical that is to say if you can achieve it then somehow someone else can to by themselves or with help just like despite inumerous machines existing has diferent units or with diferent pieces can achieve the same result , there is really not any limit to how much something is worth but i am a bit of a idealist, i usually vlaue it at the moment, and follow trow
I think u should get tested for asperger's
It takes a lot of courage as an INTJ to open up the way you did in this video so kudos to you! Keep telling your stories because one of the strength of being an INTJ is learning through listening. I'm sure you're making an impact on a lot of lives with these type of videos. You got a new fan!
that's what I'm about to say Jon.
Thank you very much! I hate stereotypes, and while I'm not a fan of the internet, I still enjoy connecting with people. It's shocking to me that I have any sort of traction.
@@nikiyikes5674 please keep telling your truth. I feel like INTJs need it just as much if not more than most other types. You're really relatable, keep it up queen 👑
I struggle with being such an open book. My thoughts are too abstract.
😅 "Learning through listening" a strength of an INTJ; wow I thought is was just a me thing but I'm glad it's an INTJ thing. Makes more sense.
As an "unhealthy infp", who is almost always stuck in his magical fairytale land and who then tries to radically compensate for it for a period of time, I can assure you, that you're not the only one out there who struggles with relationships! Whenever I'm around intj's I always feel grounded in a way, which is nice! I also think that you look and are quite beautiful and I can't imagine anyone seriously thinking otherwise! 🧐❤️
Well, it was always in relation to black clothes and tattoos. The people are judgmental in my hometown.
Thanks for the comment!
@@nikiyikes5674 whaaat? Black clothes AND tattoos? That's quite outrageous indeed, I mean you should've known better than that! 😂
If they already get triggered by that, then I gotta see this town for myself and show them all the nuance a black shirt can have. 😊
Nice cat ears 👀
I’m an intj as well, those younger years definitely make you feel like an outcast.
It doesn’t help that you’re so sure about yourself & that you’re going about your way, but it helps to atleast not care enough about what others think of you
Yes, but when it comes to those closest to us, it's only human to care. Especially as a child who is looking for safety and acceptance, but gets the opposite. Outside of that, I was very unapologetic because who were they to me?
Thanks for commenting!
@@nikiyikes5674 As an INTJ, I totally can relate to you. Anyway, I never really care what others think about me since I was a child as I know myself very well.
@@nikiyikes5674 did you care about people? i would be has far has not considering my parents my parents under 4 , only by name has a causality
The only thing i hate about being an INTJ is that i seem boring and creepy to others. It's difficult to find relationships because of that on top of being severely independent. It sometimes feels like a contradiction where i like my solitude, but i dont want to be alone. Im more comfortable with a relationship where we each do our own thing, but enjoy eachothers company. But it seems like most people like to be overly attached and lovey dovey. Now im turning 30 and have never felt more alone. I don't have as many opportunities to meet people and being by myself for so long has me set in my independent ways to where it may be too late for me in finding a significant other.
There's an INTJ meme i came across that was a little too relatable. At 9yo, an INTJ was told they're a well behaved kid. At 17yo, they're told they're mature for their age. 23yo they're boring. And at 30yo they're creepy.
It does become much harder to meet people as we age and stop forcing ourselves to do things we don't want to do. I booted a lot of old friends from my life when I had enough of smothering myself to be seen as "fun" simply because they weren't accepting of me. Afterword's, it was the LEAST lonely I'd ever felt.
I found this quote that resonates perfectly where I am in my journey now: “People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don't think that's true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.”
There is an INTJ guy I met in the gym as an INFJ and as much as I have a soft spot for him because I can see him and feel his energy which is very similar to mine , in truth dating him would be very difficult for me . Fact is that most women are extroverted feelers who express their emotions or high Fi users. It’s almost like he has no social graces , at one point he replied to my message 12 hours later and did not even apologise for the delay …. And did not reach out as much .In contrast I met another INTJ I fell for many years ago and what I loved about him was that even though he would tell me he is not good with words he would still try and through this I saw his pure heart. He would also show up in actions …. I think learning how to emotionally connect and be there for a woman and social graces would help INTJ men a great deal …. You do want to be prepared when you come across this woman …. With the first guy I just assumed like any other woman would that he is not into me and kept it moving . I still have not gotten over the latter
@@ma6542 A healthy INTJ will 100% put forth effort even if it's uncomfortable and awkward. If I dedicate my time and energy to something, I'm serious about it. There's 1000 other things I could be doing, after all. So I don't think you were exactly wrong in your thought process, but we all have to communicate what we expect and want from others. Even fully in love with, I'll have times I'm not around my phone and I'm having to prioritize something else. To me, that doesn't warrant an apology, but I've upset past boyfriends doing that.
Then again, I was a VERY unhealthy and emotionally unavailable INTJ.
@@nikiyikes5674 yes unfortunately INTJs already have an inexpressive face so it’s already intimidating to begin with during the initial stages . I have experienced it and an emotionally unavailable INTJ is impossible and painful for anyone to get to know . I think INTJs if hurt even once can clam up and shut the other person out completely and all that achieves is complete deterioration of the friendship or relationship . I think communicating that you need time to process your feelings and will come back to express them when your ready reassures the other person. The emotional unavailability can plunge the other person into an emotional turmoil which is quite hurtful. I’ve always wondered how to get an emotionally unavailable INTJ to be more available … is that even something possible or do you recommend the partner just let the INTJ be ?
Hi!
Fellow INTJ - this is very relatable and very similar. (Male) so I can only imagine the extra difficulties for being female.
Your right (you already know) but keep pushing this stuff out of you - I am doing the same thing but your right.
We process a realm that most people will never know exists. That can lead to severe isolation, but a true INTJ would never have it any different.
Keep it up!
My biggest difficulty is translating abstract thoughts into coherent sentences, but I'll keep pushing! Mixing my content up with fun videos helps a lot.
Thanks for the comment!
@@nikiyikes5674 same! I’ve spent a long time writing things down and ‘formulating’ reality. I have come up with a pretty cool model around it ‘ ‘how to best proceed” being intj. Would be happy to show you. It will also clarify ( via ‘I AM ___ and others ARE NOT___’) which will then allow you to make easier decisions (for your own good) around all the ‘who what when where why’s” of your life!
@@nikiyikes5674 have you tried writhing down your thoughts until they make actual sense like a philosophy?
As an intj, I'll tell you Smth..
hating yourself means that you don't know yourself enough.. This world is meaningless nothing deserve to hate yourself bc of it. You are the only one who can trust.loving yourself means having self confidence.. Just not caring about people's opinion will cause you more problems cause you are lying to yourself the human is a set of feelings we are actually taking care of people's opinions even if we hide this fact to ourselves so the first step to actually get self confidence is to be completely honest with yourself which is Smth difficult to do for real but it's possible of course.. Second just live your life baby..this life will teach you a lot..being an intj the mastermind is Smth I'm so proud of girl..we are so cool isn't we☺🌚??+ your skin is holy awesome 💓😂
I have always known myself but I also hated being an INTJ and by extension the way I viewed and interacted with the world. I was convinced I could change that lol Thankfully I was able to heal past traumas and...look at me! Still an INTJ after all this time.
Thanks for the comment!
i basically already hate the world would hating myself improve anything don't think so it would break more things, if you don't know yourself what do you know?
I'm 22 and often hate being INTJ - doomed to wander this world lonely and misunderstood. I had a few mental breakdowns thinking about how I will possibly be forever alone, even though I can hardly admit it.
You won't be. I'm not saying it will be an easy road ahead of you but I had these very feelings at your age. Just focus on yourself and learn to love who you are. You will gain confidence in yourself over time. You have to become your own hero and biggest supporter. I stayed to long in a toxic relationship because I couldn't admit failure and we had a child. Once I realized it was doing more damage than good I moved on. I have a family and a good relationship now. I can tell you he doesn't always understand me but he definitely loves me for who I am and let's me be me. There are ppl out there who find us incredible people to be around. You are unique and that's what makes you amazing. Don't waste your time on those who don't see it. It does take a long time for ppl to know us and if they stay on the ride then they are worth keeping around. Don't ever give up because you are not doomed. I say I never wish to be young again because I hated the person I was. I am 40 this year and the happiest I've ever been with myself and my life. I truly never thought I'd be here.
@@LisaMarie-br8tn thank you for your kind words. It's especially hard for me when I cross paths with people who are very similar to me (infjs and other intjs mostly) but they aren't very interested in pursuing any kind of relationship. I don't know what is in their heads, and from my experience that's what disturbs me the most.
What goes on in other peoples heads will forever remain a mystery and that's okay. We just need to know what goes in our own, and then things start looking clearer without fog in the way. I used to be so riddled with anxiety until I learned about myself and accepted all the good and bad. Afterwards, I was able to better read people as a result and that helped reduce social anxiety and self-doubt.
I may lack certain social awareness or struggle to emote, but I made up for it by harnessing my natural ability to be objective to clear up confusing situations. Now I can observe someone and I know what's going on beneath the shallow exterior to a certain extent. It's enough to guide me into having the confidence to take action when in my youth I used to wait for things to happen or for people to come to me. Now I'm just confident in what I'm thinking, feeling, and what my instinct is telling me. This is the hard part about being an Ni type, but everything starts with ourselves and then we can spread it outwards.
You WILL find your tribe and your people.
I used to do the same. I did eventually find some people that helped a bit though. Being introverted + being rare is not the best combo for finding people that could accept you, as you will in general meet less people which in turn means you will be even less likely to find the rarer peculiar people you are compatible with. Good luck though
@@nikiyikes5674 Wait you guys don't put yourselves in other peoples positions? Isn't that like the first thing you should do like its very questionable your origin i would think if you can't put yourselves in someones head and follow trow with the action "at hand" or just never developed ability, for whatever reason?
Same, it is tough to be an INTJ especially being female. There are so many societal expectations. Like for example, I am just sitting and I don't want to talk, people would say you can talk, do you find us noisy. Like in my head, I do not want to spend energy on anything right now.
I go inside my head so often that every thirty minutes at a gathering people will go, "Where's Niki?"
I haven't moved in the last three hours.
@@nikiyikes5674 INFPs have this allot
Wow the sense of self thing, so real. I feel like 4 year old me (earliest memories) is the same person as 41 year old me. Took me a very long time to understand that other people didn't have a firm sense of self, or one at all. I still can't imagine it. That said, I always liked wearing the bright colors (probably due to 80's cartoon and fashion influences that I grew up with, but who knows), and was told that was a phase (it wasn't). I did however always know they had the issue, not me. Saying I was making attitude faces when I know I wasn't feeling anything or was actually happy. I had the benefit of knowing that these shitty adults were just projecting, even when It was frustrating. Thank you for making the video. Subscribed
I do enjoy your content far more than the other personality type content here. Sharing your experiences, rants, and perspectives is far more enlightening than just the surface level overviews that other videos offer. I can learn a lot from what you have to say.
Thank you! I wasn't sure how interested anyone would be when I first started the channel, so it's a pleasant surprise that people find it enjoyable or enlightening.
It's incredible how much I relate to everything you say. Which makes me feel less "alone", in a sense? Even though I'm sure we're different in many aspects, there's so much I recognize in what you say, that I feel understood. And that's a wonderful feeling I didn't get a lot of through my life so far. So thank you for that.
I wouldn't go as far as to say that I hated being an INTJ (even before I knew what that even was). But I was acutely aware of how different I was compared to almost anyone else around me, and the cost that had on myself. I feel both blessed and cursed. Blessed because, for instance, my analytic skills prevented me from suffering a lot and guided me through a mostly fulfilling life - but those same analytic skills force me to see the Absurd around me in such a clear way that it can be overwhelming, like you said. So much noise, so much wasted time and talent, so much needless and avoidable suffering. "For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief", reads an aphorism in Ecclesiastes, and that's exactly right.
Anyway, I made peace with myself. I am what I am, the world is what it is. Both I and the world will change, but a lot about us won't. Reality can hurt when you are able to see how much better it could be, but truth is a friend, and I'd rather have an unpleasant reality than a pleasant illusion, I suppose.
Anyway, I hope you had a nice dinner! Loved the cat ears. Looking forward to your next video (but please don't feel pressured to make a new one!). Cheers.
I really grateful for ur words. You summed up many points that I wanted to mention
It's no wonder that I was so sad and tired all the time as a child. Once you see something you can't unsee it - especially when you're faced with it around every corner. It took me time to detangle myself, if you know what I mean.
Never knew people of past had a self aware understanding on matter of knowledge.
I myself came to realization that “to know is to suffer” not “to live is to suffer”.
Although this being a scripture, it might have been written not from a place of realization but a place of opposition. As Adam an Eve took an apple from a tree of knowledge if I am not mistaken.
I personally came to understanding that suffering is an integral part of my identity and embraced it.
@@eve_______ Well, people of the past are no less people than any of us today. Perhaps they lacked in knowledge, compared to the present day, but not in intelligence, perception, or intuition. I'm sure there are similar aphorisms in many different cultures of the past - I only cited biblical scripture because it's the one I'm more acquainted with, and perhaps the most culturally relevant in western society.
@@WolfoxBR I disagree. Although I understand what you mean by past, but past writing or in periods when writing wasn’t common people wouldn’t stand a chance of matching the intelligence of today. Because verbal internal thinking is something we developed later on due to rationalization of inner voice. For less academic person that would be the voice of Gods (As we see mentioned quite a lot in mythology, where individuals feel guided by a voice of God)
We still keep evolving so it is only natural to assume that people of past were less sophisticated, even if we get to experience micro evolution over the span of centuries.
Thank you for sharing, Niki. I've also had similar experiences in terms of people that are acquaintances or even strangers that stated I should not wear so much black (I used to wear literally all black at work, and it wasn't even like eccentric clothes, just regular clothes but in the color black), that I should talk more and smile more and do this and do that but make sure if anything I am like 'them'.
I think there is a complex reason why society is like this, and I'm not going to get into that 😂😂
Looking forward to seeing more content, have a good one
I can relate being an INFP as my base personality. Has so many negative downsides
But a lot of amazing upsides as well. My best friend is an INFP and they're my favorite human.
It's always nice to watch your video and thank you for the courage to make videos in sharing your thoughts and insights~😊 Everyone can learn from each others. So do I~ I'm an INFP and staying together with my close friend who is an INTJ too. I learned a lot from her and she's a total brilliant gem that I can ever have in my life, never fails to surprise me and I really enjoy her company. So to you Nikki, stay true to yourself! 😎
My best friend is an INFP. It's truly a special connection between these two types.
The way you expressed yourself really shows that you are turning into (if not already) a healthy INTJ. Keep being awesome!
That's fascinating. I too initially hated getting the INFJ label when I took the Myers Briggs in High School, but for the opposite reason of feeling like I was more of a thinker then a feeler. Like I did not prioritize my own feelings on things at all, and felt more of an observer trying to understand and solve others feelings as I felt it all connected to a larger picture that my mind was seeking to understand. I didn't understand what the code actually meant. After learning the cognitive functions it started to make sense and fell into place. It always bugs me when people try to differentiate people as "feeling" and "thinking". From my perspective we all do it all, just expressed in different ways that just makes us look different and perceive things different. I also hate the idea of being unique. Being "unique" is more like a kind of torture in a way, but I also experienced that irritation of people picking on my looks and how I did things. And I think for me the painful part of it comes down to not feeling seen. It's not like I don't like how I am, its that I'm almost never seen even when I'm trying to make myself seen. So I just give up trying most of the time. I think the closest to feeling seen is by friends I've typed as an INTJ. And with other INFJs I tend to feel understood more then seen. I'm not sure if that is what is going on, but that is just how it has felt from my purely subjective experience. I think it's something like this ENFPs hold space for me, INTJs make me feel seen, INFJs make me feel understood. I don't really understand it, but this is just from my unique experience. I think understanding type has more just given me the words to a lot of things I had previously observed or noticed but without the words to describe it, so that is why I like it. For me it's not a box, but a vocabulary.
That's how I see it now. Young, immature me? Not so much.
Thank you for commenting :)
I would say the unique concept is usually given due to the fact of being stuck with a situation and maze has well do the best of it wit h from, each person so its not that we are not ot the same but we have nothing to win from being the same you could call it somemanipulation but anyone smart enough past a point would see i t, thinkers would naturally feel like youa re seen since, mainly external ones primed since it cuts cold ,, into what you are with no regard for wht you think or might hide, in other words it doesn't lie, whille feeling would take what you give it and make sense from what it knows with disregard for what it doesn't yet, so regardless if the result is true truthfully it comes across
I love that your content is different. You just have the most real down-to-earth approach about INTJ! I love watching your videos!
Thank you for the support!
You are quite brave to talk about things like this and to share your feelings with others on a video. Just the thought of making a video like this and posting it raises my anxiety levels, so kudos to you.
I can relate to some of what you are saying. I first took the MBTI test in a college freshman class on leadership and communication. One of those required 'humanities' classes. The only humanities class that I remember really enjoying was 20th Century Science Fiction Literature because we got to read sci-fi novels, some of which I'd already read, discuss them and write about them. I've always enjoyed reviewing things like books, gadgets, movies etc. so it was a fun class. I had a great teacher for that class who was a Nebula Award winning author himself. Had some great philosophical and conceptual discussions with him in that class.
Anyway, in the leadership class, they had us take the MBTI test and I tested as INTJ. After the test, they had us read about the test and what the different personality types meant. I could understand why I tested as I did because I was totally honest in answering the questions rather than answering how one might expect a 'perfect' person to answer them. I've taken it several times since for different jobs in which they used it as part of employee training, or in an effort to help the employees get to know each other better, etc. I've always tested as an INTJ.
In the Enneagram tests which I've taken as part of a club I've joined in an effort to socialize outside of work (which is so very hard for me to do), I tested as a 5 wing 4 which is sort of equivalent to being on the fence between an INTJ and an INFJ. It's an interesting alternative personality theory which in some ways takes the complexity of human cognition and behavior into account more than MBTI does, but both are interesting. It makes some sense too because I've always been a little bit more interested in art and learning for their own sake without needing it to be a step towards achieving a big goal than the stereotypical INTJ is. I'm also less confrontational than the 'typical' INTJ and tend to let things go rather than risk damaging a relationship. I've always hated to argue, especially if things become heated.
I know what you mean about growing up feeling like you don't fit in and that you aren't good enough to suit other people. I grew up on a cattle ranch in a rural area of Western Nebraska in the 70's, so I was expected to be a cowboy. However, I never was interested in rodeos, riding horses, listening to country music, etc. I preferred to stay in my room and draw imaginary maps, monsters, robots etc., listen to music, read comics and sci fi and fantasy novels, play with my Star Wars toys and things like that. I helped on the ranch the best I could because my dad needed me to, but I never enjoyed it.
I didn't think that most country music was interesting and preferred music that was considered 'weird' by my peers like The Police, Dave Mathews Band, Spin Doctors, classical music like Strauss and Mozart, etc.
I never related to other people very well and had very few friends. Most of my friends were also outcasts like me because they had recently moved there for their dad's work and they weren't any good at sports like me either, so they were rejected by the other kids. My best friend was a kid who spent most of his time at home because he had asthma so severe that he'd have an attack if he ran for more than 40 yards or something like that and would need oxygen. Our parents set up play dates for us so that we could keep each other company. He was really into G.I. Joe and western movies because his uncle was a stunt man for westerns. We used to watch them together and he'd point out the scenes where his uncle was doing a stunt. He hated having his medical condition as much as I hated mine because it limited us so much.
I was born with a tumor on my brain that affected my eyes - preventing me from being able to focus so I saw everything double and thus had no depth perception. It also gave me massive headaches and fevers high enough to make me hallucinate. So you can imagine that I wasn't any good at all at the stuff that boys were 'supposed' to enjoy doing. Took the doctors years to figure out what was causing my symptoms and some of their guesses included mental retardation, so you can imagine how that hurt my family, especially my mom who felt so bad about it. Mothers of kids born with physical and/or mental challenges often feel like it's their fault that their kid turned out that way. She had migraine headaches and depression for most of my childhood.
I finally got physical therapy for the double vision and the tumor shrank enough that I didn't have fevers anymore, but not until I was about eight years old, so I was incredibly behind the 'normal' kids around me. Once I was able to see words on the page like I should and started to learn to read, I became a voracious reader and spent a lot of time in the library which was also a sanctuary from the bullies since the librarian didn't put up with any nonsense. You actually had to be very quiet in libraries in those days.
To make a long story shorter, I'm not sure how much of my personality is genetic and how much is shaped by my experiences, but given all that I went through, it's no surprise that I'd be like an INTJ. None of the kids who befriended me stayed in the county long before their dad would get a job somewhere else, so I never had a close friend for more than a year or two and there was a lot of time between that and the next time a family with a kid I could relate to would move into our tiny community.
Really, my wife, whom I didn't meet until I was 30, is the first best friend I've had for more than a couple of years. We've got quite a bit in common, though she's a little more outgoing than I am. She's likely an INFJ.
Great video. I appreciate your content.
Hey! I just stumbled upon your video. And I'm glad that I did because I'm curious and intrigued by Intjs. Sharing your experiences and thoughts helps in understanding them. I've met one intj so far. Though he seem emotionless on the outside, I think he has a soft core. I remember sending him a gift (because we live far from each other). The thing that I gave him was something I thought he would like based on what I recalled from our few convos in the past. And I didn't expect he would message me and thank me. He even told me it made him tear up, which I find very touching and endearing. And to think that he told me what he felt (though he quickly unsent that message but I read it lol) made me very happy that he appreciated it. Intjs are such wonderful people.
Thank you for this video. And I find you very beautiful, Niki. I hope you're doing well these days :)
- Isfj
I'm doing FANTASTIC! Thank you for the comment :)
i really like how you talk about being an intj in a deeper sense because most content about intj are from non-intj people and almost all of them are stereotypes so i've never felt like i could really relat to this label. thank you, i know my people now
People see me as unapproachable and cold. Do I care? No. I prefer to do things on my own and people will always have their opinion of you, will never know who you truly are like you’ll never know who people are truly. That’s how things are. I’m 17 and people who are 40 years old than me learn from me most of the time. It’s hard to be understand by others so I isolate myself. I have 2 really great friends and others usually tell me that I am intimidating because of my opinions and my need of respect towards others and myself. I feel good about myself but I know connecting with people will always be my issue.
I'm a 59 year old INTJ. The best advice I can give you is be you. There are others like you in the wold and you will connect with them when you least expect it and you will feel like you have known those people your entire life. You will just click. They will just get you. I'm friends with an INTP coworker - similar to an INTJ, but not. Still comforting to have someone nearby that gets me. Embrace your intuitive side. That is your superpower.
Connecting with others comes with time. You're already in a better place than I was, so just keep being yourself.
Even after these negative things about being an INTJ, i still take satisfaction in a majority of the traits.
You're my favorite TH-camr since I discovered your channel this year.
Oh, wow. Thank you for enjoying my videos and for connecting with them. I keep intending to update more frequently, so I hope you stayed tuned while I try to figure out a schedule.
Wow I'm really glad I stumbled upon your channel! Your story seems so similar to my own it's almost scary.
I've only watched a couple of your videos so far but it sure feels that way. I've always had problems with people but I feel like for myself I deeply craved human connection, love, and affection but I had to force myself to pretend to be how people wanted in order to be accepted. To a certain degree I ended up being a people pleaser to the point where I had terrible boundaries, still working on those honestly. Obviously this was very unhealthy, mostly because I was being inauthentic, and you can only maintain that for so long. If you can't be your true self you will end up miserable no matter who you are with.
I know you might hate labels but it's important to remember that with the MBTI everyone is on scales, this is why there is some debate if the big five is a better model, to me it seems like just another version of the same thing though. Most of the problems people seemed to have had with the MBTI was to do with when people would get different results while taking additional tests or get close to a 50/50 split in a given function, clearly forgetting this test just shows your natural tendency. People seem to forget even if you are labeled an introvert you can still go out and act extraverted, hanging out with a group of friends for example, you just have a default of wanting to spend most of your time alone. The same can be said of extraverts, they are not incapable of being alone and introspective they just prefer to be around people most of the time. Some people prefer to read, others prefer to hang out with friends at the beach, all of those people are typically capable of doing the same things they just choose to do some things more than others. Not sure why this confuses some people.
Personally I loved MBTI for awhile, still do to a degree, because it helped so much with self discovery. For example yes I am an INTJ but maybe a weirder/weaker one to be sure.
My functions scale like this---> *Rough estimatation*
Introverted 80%/ Extraverted 20%
Intuitive 80%/ Sensing 20%
Thinking 60%/ Feeling 40%
Judging 80%/ Perceiving 20%
I've taken so many tests, just trust me those are a good aproximation.
I also see a lot of similarities in how we view relationships. I too suffered abuse but I won't go too much into that, but I believe it might be something very similar. Part of your problem getting involved with people may stem from your attachment style. There are plenty of tests out there if you would like to learn more.
I even still to this day deeply crave having close relationships both friends and romantically but tend to keep people at a distance. This is done to protect myself from further harm. It's somewhat contradictory but I have both an extreme desire for connection and an extreme avoidance for it, though I have gotten somewhat better over the years.
When it comes to romantic relationships I have a tendency to go for the "wounded types" mostly because I see myself in them, the pain they have been through. I feel like I get drawn to them the most because they likely understand the deep lonelyness I have felt at least to a degree. Everyone is different so no two experiences will be exactly the same, even twin siblings. Unfortunately as you have noted in other videos, you eventually come to a point when you realize even if you are helpful and supportive of your partner, some issues they have to address themselves. As one of my therapists put it "You can't want something more for someone than they want it for themselves". I had to learn this the hard way trying to help past ex's work on problems, but they would just resent me for it because they didn't see it as a problem or want to make the change. I know you shouldn't want to change people but when someone you love is doing something highly self destructive, you or at least I, feel compelled to do something to help them, even if they hate me for it.
I am usually overly cautious as well, I believe all INTJs are most vulnerable in love. From what I've noticed, once you start the process of dating, people aren't necessarily who they say or tell you they are anymore. Now they are putting forth their best effort to appear to be who they believe you want. Unfortunately it takes time to see behind the mask and know who someone really is, too often people even in love are not necessarily their true self to even their partner.
This is why I hate dating, it's like a big game that just wastes so much time when people would be far better off being open and honest from the get go. Would blunt honest rejection hurt? Absolutely! Would it hurt more to find out your partner wasn't who you thought they were after being with them for years??? Definitely!
I'm still on my journey to find love but a big part of that is just getting out there to meet people, probably the hardest part. That's what makes it nice to hear from others to know we aren't in this alone.
You already know this but, you mentioned this when you were talking about living in your head. Yeah I think we all do this to a degree, I think it's part of what makes us seem so weird or alien to others. You seem to be doing a fine job though putting yourself into the real world with your videos though. I think it's something all INTJs could stand to do more. I forget where I saw it but it was another video I saw on our type and it said this in response to those of us who aren't exposed to the proper stimulus: "An INTJ without the proper exposure is like a chess master playing chess against chickens" Just a good reminder to get out in the real world for all of us, if we want to improve we very much need it. As our experience in the real world grows so does our knowledge and how to use it, also our subconscious has more data to recognize the patterns so our Ni can help us achieve our goals.
I wouldn't listen to what people say about us, we may be protrayed as cold calculating and misunderstood super villians in popular media but in reality we feel very deeply. We do not show our emotional selves too easily, usually because of fear, we have a very fragile squishy inside and we don't want to be hurt. The biggest hurdle is usually ourself, to take that leap of faith to attempt to let someone in our life, hopefully for the better. I have no doubt you will succeed on your journey, nor I on mine. I look forward to seeing more of your content!
P.S. Sorry for this "Great wall of comment"
All I can say is ‘no worry’. Being INTJ is actually cool. Embrace your uniqueness.
We are so worried that we can’t fit in and people want to change us. But please don’t. We change ourselves on our own good time.
As a matured older INTJ, I can tell you that age makes us softer. We appreciate our unique personality as well as the personality of others and world is better and a lot more beautiful that way. We don’t have to be nice, we just need to be kind.
I think having an understanding partner with compatible personality can give us comfort and freedom to be who we are. So, when you find one, you know. It’s not so alien and misunderstood anymore.
Bravo 🎉. Seriously. What’s almost as tragic (in a healthy way) is being an ENTP who “gets it” better than most and speaks this language and has an INTJ female friend (not u but strikingly similar) who, like everything u said, blocks him out. But it’s refreshing to also realize the timing for her wasn’t right and that’s ok considering what she’s had to deal with and the many things u clarified. Also if it’s not z”meant to be” that’s also ok too. At the end of the day, what matters to me most is that it took a long time to be someone that could understand (continual process) and as long i made the effort, at least she would appreciate that! Ok hope i trust is not too much! Thank you! That was awesome!!
All any of us can do is try our best and accept that we'll never understand another person 100%.
Thanks for commenting!
So so true! (Much respect again to ur insights!!!) btw, I found The movie “emma” with Gwyneth Paltrow to bring comic relief to this reality. Obviously Emma, INTJ. Her guy friend, ENTP (I’m pretty sure)
Hey... Be yourself, you can be anyone in this life. You shouldn't feel bad about who you are, it doesn't matter if you're intj or any of those silly letters, your tastes, your skills, your goals, are what define you. No one is perfect, but we all have something good, you just have to find it and share it to the world
I am INTJ-A & I clearly see stress on your face & you are knowledgeable person & being intj myself I can understand the challenges you face in everyday life.
I'm sorry you had to deal with all of those emotionally toxic situations as a child. (This isn't straight up pity since I get the feeling you'd reject that lol) I like how you mentioned you're somewhat the same now as you were as a kid. You remind me of a friend who had to mature really fast and has been the same for years. I clung to being goofy and immature as a kid since I knew I could and I really resent parents who take that away from kids. If your version of a perfect day was wearing black and enjoying niche hobbies, you should've had the space to do that. I'm glad you're here now to share niche interests in a space where it'll actually be appreciated 😄
As long as the sympathy is genuine, I don't mind the words, "I'm sorry".
When I'm comfortable and in a safe space...PHEW! Better watch out because I'm wild and ready for an adventure at any given moment. I'm still very child-like in a lot of ways, and I'm glad I didn't lose that side of myself.
Thank you for the support =D
@@nikiyikes5674 I totally get that! People who claim to be spontaneous, but actually just make me nervous are always confused why I seem so closed off and bland. It's cuz I don't feel safe goofing off with YOU. When I'm a in a comfortable environment I'm off the walls excited and open.
It is underestimated how consequential it can be for one's course of life to receive the information consciously and unconsciously from the external world that there is something «wrong» with you throughout all of childhood. I also relate to feeling like I was constantly inconveniencing other people with how I naturally existed in the world when younger. A real battle for self-esteem is started, one which I personally am only starting to win at the age of 31 (INTJ male). I experience that this negative experience is balanced to a certain extent by the inherent contradiction of the fabled INTJ god complex: even when feeling like an alien or a robot amongst people, I also experience situations where I feel like I am considerably better than everyone else, often with a certain verifiable external logical basis for its validity.
Unsurprisingly, my life reflects this upbringing like a textbook example: very high performance in my career, an intellectual giant in anything pertaining to ideas, concepts or aesthetics, and absolutely no social life, haha. All personalities have their inherent advantages and disadvantages, and when I focus on the positives of mine I can honestly say that I could not imagine myself existing in any other way. It is a long road to get to that point.
I think true self acceptance is taking a "negative" and turning it into a superpower. Maybe I'm not a very emotional person when being compared to others, but because I'm objective in a time of crisis I can do what others can't. I can also provide people the help they need because I don't make it about myself. However, I'm the wrong person to come to for folks who just want to wallow and suck the life out of people like an energy vampire. Pass.
Thank you for the support! I'm just trying to create a schedule while finding ways to stay connected with everyone :)
it took me a long time to even find books by INTJ's, the way of thinking is not common but it is out there, our world does not give a lot of space for introverted intuition though and most of everything is designed for other personality types, awesome to see another INTJ you can just tell from a few minutes of talking
Oh? Well, I'm glad you enjoyed the video and got something from it. If you say my INTJ-ness shows by my speech, I'm inclined to believe you :)
Thanks for commenting.
also wearing black, wearing black is a dead giveaway
@@nikiyikes5674 I'm always skeptical of people claiming to be an INTJ because they're so rare that it's almost more likely a mistyped ISTJ, ISTP, INTP, or ENTP, but you have a lot of pauses to think and speak about multiple perspectives on an issue like other INTJ's I've seen, 2 tests, clear introversion, and clear sense of identity unlike the other *NTP's who will need to explore that, definitely not traditional like an ISTJ, likely not an in the moment sensor like ISTP, so high chance you are an INTJ, nice to see a rare girl INTJ TH-camr talking about actual experiences, if you like type, there is a big community on TH-cam with cross channel interviews and stuff, you should reach out to some of them and promote your channel
Girl! Ur speaking my language. Even as an adult I've had to, to a certain extent, basically almost dumb myself down to acquiesce to the B. S. around me.... I mean I don't have role models because other humans are not living my life.
When you said "I dropped off the face of the Earth"... I'm still dropping off... 🤣
I'm pretty sure the Earth is actually flat and us introverts are on the side facing down.
I've had the impression a few times now that MBTI is attributed a quasi-religious redeeming effect because it seems to be able to free individuals from the clutches of an oppressive society and find their true selves.
You do realise MBTI is made by society but frees us from radicals that makes us be tied down or frees us from our natural environments so that we can actually do what we whant
To this day, although I remember being supportive of you the whole time I’ve known you, I still hold myself accountable as one of the peers you knew growing up that made you feel this way. Whether it’s true or not, I use it as a learning opportunity so that way I cannot make these mistakes in the future.
Edit: basically these videos are really helpful with learning more about one of my oldest friends.
Well, I wasn't exactly receptive to friendship as I'm sure you can recall. If anything, I wasn't the best to you, so there's no need to hold yourself accountable for anything.
@@nikiyikes5674 lol you had your reasons. No hard feelings.
@@Chtsht23 Look at us now. I'm old and you're bald.
@@nikiyikes5674 look, I’m still in my 20’s. I’m not completely bald yet and I’ll be in denial for atleast a few more months.
The world is not, and may never be ready for INTJs.
The communist ones are a piece
This is the perfect kind of video
I hated the intj profile I didn't even bother taking the test , I just assumed I was infj for almost a year.
But Once I took the test , my life changed , I finally understood and I wasn't alone
Everything turned on its head,
The brainwashing which had made me reject myself turned backwards .
I had subconsciously believed the labels but now I saw them for what they are.
To be superior is the intj natural place , other personalities and most especially unhealthy people sense this and try to cover it up anyway they can
I don't know about being "superior", but INTJ's have their own power that should be more appreciated in general.
I learned a very important lesson the hard way recently: one of our characteristics (as INTJs) is to avoid problems because it's better that way, right? Not doing what most people do, which is going through life without thinking too much about the future and consequences. Well, not to be arrogant but I became so good at avoiding problems that didn't learn the important stuff. I always avoided empty people and empty relationships and when I finally found who I thought was the right person to be with, I was totally unprepared for it and just pushed her away with so many things I hadn't even noticed were problems. I wish I had seen that with anybody else before.
I have to force myself to not think too much and make mistakes. Just avoiding the important ones of course. I'm just beginning to see how many barriers that creates to relate with other people and now I know how important that can be.
Also, INTJ stereotypes (unfair and incomplete as they are) are in a sense right because that's how we behave with most people most of the time. Yeah, there's so much more to us, but we seldom show that. At least in my case I find the most difficult thing is to find all sorts of balance. How many mistakes to make? How much to trust? How much to face the "real" world? In the end, our personality has both beautiful and ugly traits, just like the others. It seems funny how balanced personalities are with their blessings and curses when you think about it. But I found knowing I'm an INTJ very helpful at least to be aware how different I am and why.
That was the point of the video summed up much more elegantly :)
@@nikiyikes5674 Thank you, the format forced me to. It's great you share your stories and details so others can see where it all comes from. It's weird how everything makes so much sense from the inside but looks so different from the outside to most people. Also proving we do have feelings just like everyone else.
I would assume your world jsut got worse from there since i had the opposite happen?
@@icaropassosmissel7435 Avoiding problems is very good. But when you avoid every possible problem you can it's like going through life without testing your assumptions. You'll be fine most of the time. But sooner o later something happens that you were unprepared for and can't possibly know how to deal with if you're lucky enough to even realise there's something wrong. And if it's something you deeply care about it's not pretty. So better mess up with things you didn't care that much. I'm not saying that looking for touble is good but getting used to deal with different kinds of problems when they naturally arise is a win in itself. Having said that, I'm still very much risk averse but I'm forcing myself out of my comfort zone every now and then. My life has improved a lot after that, if only subjectively but improved nonetheless.
@@jrluh in my case rather than ending up on a posistion you didn't account before, you get stuck on something if i might say so myself that you don't have any way of improving on, so you have to spend allot of time go
ing over what it is in specifics so you know how to deal it despite rare
Lovve the look!
Thanks! Figured I'd wear the ears for Halloween.
Thank you so much for sharing this.
This is how I feel about this as well and I still don't understand why people find me as arrogant even though I am just trying to be empathetic with them.. but it's mostly FEELERS (F) from Meyer's Briggs test who feel like this.
Did you find a good way to communicate with them what you actually feel?
Because as you said, we are extremely sensitive, but I just think that people do not see that because of the 'superiority complex'
I have a video planned out that addresses communication and how I've learned to be better at it. I've noticed the same things you have, so I have some thoughts.
Thank you so much for watching and taking the time to leave a comment :)
imagine if her and Dear Kristin made a crossover? that would be EPIC
What is it with INTJ's loving heavy metal? I am an INTJ and I too love listening to metal. I have been seeing this pattern occurring quite a few times now.
Regarding the nature of your content: it doesn't have to be on-the-nose INTJ content to be INTJ content. (I say this as someone collaborating with singers on topics that can be explained better with MBTI without needing them - "MBTI-adjacent content" as I call it.)
Here's the thing a lot of people in the world don't like to admit, but that you're okay with: very few things in life are truly deductive. A huge percentage of things in textbooks - anything based on correlations, for instance - is inductive via a humongous sample. That's especially true of anything we learn about people.
So as I see it, the best thing for us all is to keep adding to the sample size with how we understand things from our types. We're never going to deduce things about type, but we can induce far better if we share. :-)
That's exactly why my channel is the style it is. I don't actually watch MBTI content outside of comedy sketches because it's the same information I could get reading online. I'd much prefer getting to see inside someone's head where I'm shown the answer to my questions VS being told based off statistics. I think that's rarer for an INTJ because it does require some form of vulnerability.
Hi, fellow INTJ here, can relate to all you said.
Could you make a video on 5 things that you love and 5 things that you hate?
5 things in general, or related to being an INTJ?
@@nikiyikes5674 I think in general would be good and in addition (if you want) you could rationalize/relate to those 10 things based on your personality traits as well.
Win-Win for the content creator and the audience 🙂
@@sefsyesapient I love this idea. Thank you! :)
Apparently I needed to smile more, I got talks about wearing black too. I got told, you can't say that so I decided not to say anything. Someone tried to hug me and I said no...I don't hug strangers...that was seen as harsh.
Interesting.. Yup I relate to most of it except I never gave a shit about what other people thought of me, so never thought of myself as the problem, not even as a child. Except maybe the handful of people closest to me; but that list has always been very very "handful".
I'm in this struggle/loop now. Makes me not want to communicate with people even though I think I'm one of the most quality people there is to know
I remember getting INTJ on a test in school and not taking it seriously at all till like 7 years later
So we're the same in that respect.
What metal bands were you into?I liked Korn and slipknot in my teenage years and I always liked the symphonic stuff.
I love rock music in general. I like the classics the most such as Judas Priest, Motley Crue, Skid Row, so forth. Lately I've been into I Prevail which mixes different genres. I enjoy that a lot.
Still into everything I was into in my teenage years!
I'm a 19 year old INTJ woman. How in the heck do people feel connected with other people? This is a big struggle for me. I have never felt connected. I do feel love for the people around me, bit I have never felt like I completely fit with them. I have started to wonder if this is because my understanding of connection is delusional or unrealistic. What is your guy's thoughts on this?
I wouldn't say I "hate" it per say, but the experience of everybody telling you there's something wrong with you, when there isn't, and they are all just stupidly poking their nose where it doesn't belong and making false discoveries, is something I am excruciatingly familiar with. At one point, my reclusiveness got me reviewed by a school counselor (because of exaggerated reports by nosy school staff) to see if I belonged in special ed. Completely outrageous. My mental aptitude was off the charts, my IQ has never been below 120 since age 15, and i proved irrefutably that I'm not just mentally capable but highly advanced compared to my peers, and my avoidance of others is by choice. Had things gone differently, the school would have been sued. The fact that I was even pulled into that review was predatory and unacceptable.
I hate that I don't care enough to show others my inner world. Maybe one day
Big love from Japan,which is the country you into
I hated being an intj when i was growing up too. Mine stemmed from relationships around me. Why could i not make friends easily? I am a girl it's supposed to be natural. I struggled with friendships. I liked stuff guys liked. Girls didn't get me. Don't get me wrong i had a couple of girlfriends i was close with. I got along better with guys. Then i always faced the accusations of just wanting to date them. Um no i just want to have conversations with people of the same interests. Lord if a guy liked me it would have flown over my head. I am 40 now and have matured a lot, it doesn't get easier or it hasn't for me with friendships. i am married to an enfp, yes he made the first move, and we have deep conversations all the time and have the same interests. So i guess that's enough for me. I talk a little online about my interests but still feel i am ostracized even in online conversations. And if i had a dollar for every time i was told to smile. I might be rich right now😅
I'm an INTJ woman, a good deal older than you. I find it interesting that we have the same complexion, eye color and facial spacing. The older you get, the easier it gets.
It’s funny, everyone things I’m mean looking or cold but when they get to know me they really like me. I don’t have any problems making friends because people find me pretty charismatic. However, making close friends is very difficult.
Yes, that's the case for me too. I need to delve pretty deep to feel connected to other, and that can be uncomfortable for some.
The way you talk just like me. Lol. Think again the the words in mind before let them out.
I think at lightening speed. That's why I have to edit some videos more than others.
@@nikiyikes5674 yaa. Like 3 options of sentences in mind at one time every time always. A lot to say but just a few have chance to hear.
Please, tell me someone, that not I only got obsessed of MBTI after understanding my type. I mean
- hey, don't you take this to much seriously? This is just a joke, and it's not proven yet🙂
- IT EXPLAINED ME EVERYTHING💀
I don't think MBTI system is perfect, I'd love to change some aspects of it. But I see patterns so clear, I have a confidence in this a lot, I don't understand why people don't pay attention on this. This is facking map of society. Formal, somewhere superficial and theoretical, but map. I cant throw out MBTI from my head, I need to understand it completely. I don't mind people thinking that I'm stupid and believe in fiction. But I know what I'm doing And I see this world from afar. The only thing Wich makes me upset all the life is that I can't discuss all of my thoughts with other people. But I'm pretty sociable anyway, I don't feel lonely
A surprise video! Surprise!! Also...First!
Hope you enjoyed it!
much
INTJ myself, and I think I just fell in love, a bit, for a while, like 13 minutes and 46 seconds.
Oh? Did you find yourself falling out of love quite quickly and easily as well?
Glad you enjoyed the video.
@@nikiyikes5674 No, it is just that the video ended, I returned to real life and I noticed I am too old. 😂😂😂
@@richi654321 Fair enough.
This is not a sales pitch. This is serious.
Have any of you heard of Psychic Remoteviewing?
I first learned about it from a book written by David Morehouse, "Psychic Warrior". Morehouse was a member of a remoteviewing team located on Fort Meade Maryland under project Stargate. I was stationed at NSA and met him briefly while at the base arts and crafts center. We exchanged pleasantries but had I known at the time what he was involved in our conversation would have gone much differently. I hadn't even heard about Psychic remoteviewing at that time and he wouldn't write his book for a couple of more years. In the years since then I have remoteviewed hundreds of targets - it can become addictive - and I have come to believe that intuitive types might have an advantage over other personality types when it comes to remoteviewing. If you want to give it a shot then watch a couple of videos on TH-cam to learn the basics and then download the app RVTournament and give it a go.
What metal you like?
BabyMetal!
Be based. Worked for me.
Do you play games OO
You may have gotten stuck in the classic Ni Fi loop. It's depressing, and for no real reason. Use your Te, and Se to break the cycle. Get out of your head, work with people, and tactile things for a short time. It works for me.
If you hate being an INTJ you’re probably not an INTJ. 😂
Hello there. This video is in the past tense and is talking about before I even knew what Myer Briggs was let alone what an INTJ was. That was over 15 years ago, now. Thanks for the comment.
Please don't hate yourself. Have you watched Wednesday?
Wednesday is highly possible an INTJ too. 🤨
Oh, I don't hate myself. No worries there. And surprisingly I have watched Wednesday. I enjoyed it.
Spend more time in places that would attract other INTJs.
But then we'll never meet because none of us would leave our houses.
@@nikiyikes5674
Ahh. The flaw in my plan.
you are in the company of gods and ancient stygian priest/wizard/kings, haters going to hate, let them play with my monkey demons, muahahaha
You aren't INTJ in the first place.
arrogant ... yeah, annoying to hear that. I don´t believe you are. Just like me.
hahahaha you´re not intj in absolutly
Ure not intj
U have great trouble with jumping between ur and others opinions
That's why u can't be intj
Ah, my mistake. I was under the impression that INTJs weren't immune to pressures of their family or moments of deep self reflection. I suppose since I was not a robot as a child and still havent become one as an adult, I will never reach true INTJ status. Oh well.
@@nikiyikes5674 Condescending attitude
My first opinion stays the same
Those people are stupid, your are very beautiful and black looks really good on you.
I think black looks good on EVERYONE. Having a simpler style makes shopping and getting dressed tolerable.
@@nikiyikes5674 I agree, black is what I mainly wear. And I also love Metal. But lately I've been listening to this th-cam.com/video/hqC3ctXTDKA/w-d-xo.html
@@soa2444 This song has an old school rock n' roll sound and I'm into it.