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Thank you for sharing. As an INFJ, I find INTJ's to be the most fascinating of all personality types I've come across. I think because we both lead with introverted intuition. I struggle with dating and failed relationships to this day too. I also pick people who hurt me and I clam up/don't trust people. That comes from trauma, it's a vicious cycle. Look forward to watching more of your videos

I'm an INTJ too (5w6) and I went through the exact same circumstances, I couldn't help but nod to every word you said. thank you for sharing not just yours but our story cuz i believe there're so much INTJs out there who went through it too.

INTJs. I love us!

21-year-old INTJ here, this video gave me intense relief because you have described me and my entire past so accurately. It feels so good to hear people's experiences that are close to yours. Thank you stranger woman.

Thanks Niki. As an INTJ it’s great to be understood through your videos.

INTJ here. Yes I am exactly like that. I dont have many friends because I observe them and I know he/she cant be trusted so I dont waste time with them.

I’m a queer INTJ woman, and recently I started to wonder why my ex-girlfriends at some point made comments about my energy being masculine. I found this quite offensive, but it’s somewhat reassuring (I’m not sure if “reassuring” is the right word) to know that a heterosexual INTJ woman can also be described as having masculine energy. I was wondering if my being queer made me act in a way that seemed masculine without me realizing it.

I’m an INTJ female and I know the video is about something serious, but when you mentioned that you went to see a psychologist and she was crying, and you just sighed and thought, 'Okay, this isn’t working and I’m never coming back,' it was something I would do. It cracked me up 😂🤣🤣😂🤣 9:41

As an INFJ I have learned not to be Captain Save a Whore therefore 90% of American Women will now get psychological Abuse as an investment in her future healing. Do onto others and others will do onto you

I'm curious what you're color season is, anyone know? Bright spring?

this->what makes relationships difficult for me is that people make a lot of noise 🙌

I want one of these

From the description in the video and from the most upvoted comment from someone in a relationship with an INTJ, I would really feel honored to find someone approaching love and relationships like this. God damn. Good to know a little bit about the INTJ, but I am already a bit smitten, as these are some qualities I would love to have in my life. Yes, treating their love like the most precious thing is beautiful, and as an ENTP I think inside the box, and so I would love this refreshing honesty and clarity, to be somewhere where the mask can fall.

I might be an idiot here, talking to a group way more intelligent than me, but y'all should try getting a dog. Clearly, you are capable of taking care of them. So the dog is taken care of. Now about you. What you might not have considered is the constant emotional support that comes from a dog. The animal is dumb, it's supposed to be dumb. But it's full of unconditional love, always honest, earnest and sincere. And unrelenting. As long as you don't seek intellectual companionship of a dog, you can enjoy the constant supply of love and validation that comes from a dog. Also, watching them sleep is magical. Finally, it might teach you to value honesty and loyalty despite obviously low intelligence in a friend, which might help improve your skills of interacting with humans. If you're "neurodivergent", depending on what disorder troubles you, you might want to ignore this advice.

Did the pineapple fruit?

I live at work because it's fulfilling and lifesaving. They're still other humans tho so yeah.

noticing and then dismissing that which I don't value/appreciate is very much me. it's not that we don't see things, we just don't see the point of addressing everything.

Very refreshing ! Wonder how it goes with INTP

I took a lot of test, still the same result INTJ and I'm still not believing it.

@13:55 "So I have two cats, and the oldest one..." Older one.

If I take a shot for every time you say that you're an INTJ. Please, learn Enneagram and Socionics. Here's a tip, 5w4 maybe sexual instinct. Just please diversify your typology knowledge.

He sounds like an ESTJ or ENTJ. Just a guess

I rejected the personality tests for a long time too. I knew my thought processes were different and that I had a hard time relating to most people, but I attributed it to specific aspect of my background and experience. I felt like an alien, so I quietly spent decades trying to figure things out; mostly trying to work out what was wrong with me. Recently stumbling on your channel helped me appreciate personality tests and specifically the INTJ personality type we both have. Even though we're very different, it's been refreshing to see you open up about many of the same issues I've faced. Now, rather than feeling isolated, I'm finally interested more comfortable interacting with others of all types, though I think I'll always prefer those who think more like we do. Your delightful. Thank you!

Thank you for sharing this with us. Thank you for being self aware. Sending you much love as an intj from Egypt ❤

A male INTJ. I walk fearlessly in life. After hitting my lows again and rising higher every time, nowl I believe everything is achievable for a human with enough efforts & bla bla bla 😅. I've also seen, experienced domestic violence between my parents during childhood, been through trauma & extreme unhealthy lifestyle during teenage days. I've worked so much to build a version of myself that I'm irreplacable, I believe 😂. But as an introvert and as that an INTJ never approach females first, Its been a tough & lonely road for me. Hope we will find our duo INFJs soon 😊.

I am an INTJ woman and i would love to be your friend. I enjoyed your video :)

That sums it up.

i never know that i am INTJ until i watched your video 10 months ago. since then, i changed a lot .i am living the life i want to live. Despite anything else .i met a lot in my life but i learn faster from other INTJ because they find way to their problems .i understand you are female, but you may find another INTJ lady too and learn from each other .i wish to keep INTJ around me .even if it is on TH-cam, because that gives me the energy i need to create my own way in life. were i have a lot of people who understand me .we need that energy, so our self-esteem keeps high.

Pretty much.

Ignore the rest, INTJ are super human. I am glad that Im INTJ and figure out the covid19 and vaccines within couple of hours.

INTP here. Agreed agreed agreed. I'd rather be alone than deal with a survivalist/surface relationship. Also, I wouldn't say INTJ women aren't romantic/feminine, but it takes a certain man to bring that out of them, perhaps. Romance will always be romance, even between two logical individuals.

As an ENTP i HIGHLY respect INTJs yall are so smart, knowledgeable, and just plain bullshit averse. No drama, just real. Rock on. Youre awesome

I sincere, and important video for INTJs. Thank you Niki fir this.

As I've seen in the last, too, I just can't understand cat-ladies. WHY wouldn't you remove the distracting (for you and for your viewers) cat from the room before recording?!

1:50 So, the defense mechanism called "splitting" (black and white thinking). Check them all in the Wikipedia article "Defense mechanism".

Ask an ENFP - they find me every time. I dont think an INTJ is easy to spot until you have had some interaction with them. Once you know, it seems like it was always obvious.

I view MBTI as a rough tool to better understand others' likely tendencies. Each personality group is a big bucket. One introvert is not the same as another. Also, introverts can acquire social skills that may make them appear to be extroverts. I think MBTI and other personality tests have become a rabbit hole for many fans - they try to use test results to understand all of the inner mysteries instead of getting to know the actual specific person. Having said that, when I connect easily with someone, it often turns out that they fit a specific MBTI type.

Much of your relationship experience seems more indicative of your avoidant attachment style rather than specifically INTJ. You already know that you are avoidant, so you can work on that. If you haven't already, you may want to take a deeper look into your relationship with your mother. Sometimes, fathers with demons spiral downward because they were married to a covert narcissist. If you ever thought your mother was the angel, that's a good sign that there may be more issues. It's hard enough being an INTJ without laying on childhood trauma. It takes an INTJ longer to figure it all out due to the weakness in understanding their own feelings. Best wishes on your journey through life.

The choir teacher way out of line.

INTJ female here, and I resonate with most of what you share here, as an INTJ female. I wish I could chat with another INTJ female so much.

<-INTP Much of the romance standards and ideals apply with us as well. We just have a different method of discrimination between potential partners. With an INTP, it seems to be, 'keep up with me, or you will decide to call it off yourself'.

Thank you Niki, for being out there and fighting for us INTJs to be better understood.

This is very well put. I always called myself clueless as I don't pick up on those flirtatious social cues. I do know what I want, or wanted, as I always had that vision but I never found that person and I'm too old now. Oh well. I can say that the lack of drama in my life is a true blessing and for that I am very happy.

Thank you Niki, for this. INTJ male, separated after a 15 year relationship, and thinking about the possibility of meeting someone again.

Really glad youre not a bot.- ENTP

Your eyes are beautiful✨

I'm a INTJ, I went through terrible trauma as a kid having brain cancer 4 times. What I hate is people downgrade my trauma because I'm "so smart". It took so much time to get where i am. It wasn't until I started fully studying psychology and found a therapist I could connect with that therapy started to work. My therapist understands I intellectualize much of my trauma.

I like your Octapus its cute.

Hi everyone!! INFP female here 💗 First of all, I want to thank you, Niki, for always being so transparent with us about your experiences and dismantling these stereotypes. I wasn’t going to comment, but then I thought that maybe my experience might change anyone’s opinion about INTJs being “romantically clueless” and “unemotional robots.” Also, I just feel like yapping to total strangers on the internet. My very first boyfriend was an INTJ. We had a wonderful relationship, for the most part. However, as a young INFP, I was dealing with a lot of trauma that hadn’t been processed, and I ended up overwhelming him with my insecurities. Consequently, towards the end of the relationship, he became very closed off and pushed me away, so, when I couldn’t take it anymore, I broke things off with him. Soon after, he was in a new relationship, and I was a total mess. He told mutual friends that I was indifferent to him. I went no contact but just couldn’t move on. Two years later, I was still very much in love with him and unconsciously waiting for him to come back. When I realized he wasn’t going to because he was still dating someone else, I had to force myself to let him go. I am now in a new, healthy, loving relationship. Last month, to my surprise, I saw him again. We talked for a long time, and he said that he was about to publish his first book. When I asked what it was about, I wasn’t prepared for the storm that was about to hit me. 200+ romantic-tragic poems about me. I couldn’t believe it. I, myself, had also been convinced that he was a robot, incapable of true connection, and that I hadn’t meant much to him. I was wrong. In he’s case, he very much was afraid of rejection, not knowing how I was going to react (might have to do with his enneagram 5 or just a personal thing) so he kept it a secret all these years. However, he said that seeing me physically moved him so much that he just had to let me know. Sounds like the plot to a movie, but it’s just my ironic life. So yeah, INTJs are capable of being in love and feeling it VERY deeply, and that means a lot coming from an Fi dom. There you have it. Hope this resonates with someone. And wow!! Thanks for reading the whole thing 💖 Sending love to you all 🫂

This reminds me of something I saw in high school. We had this surfer type substitute teacher that the girls would crush on. On of the girls asks him ‘sir, why don’t you smile more’. His response was ‘how can I smile when I look at you?’ I try to dress as blandly as possible…..it is a great small talk repellant.