Growing up with gay parents! (my experience)
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ต.ค. 2024
- My Adoption Story. Episode 1.
I was adopted from China by my gay / queer parents and grew up in New York City. This video/vlog is about going to school for the first time and having to introduce myself.
Follow me on Instagram if you’d like to:
@becomingben
/ becomingben
Watch EPISODE 2: My Dads' First Date!
• My Gay Parents UNEXPEC...
#Chineseadoption #Adoptee #Adoption #realmodernfamily, #nationaladoptionmonth, @bebensmith
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Related video topics: my adoption story, gay parents, adoption awareness month, national adoption day, chinese adoption, transracial adoption, international adoption, lgbtq adoption. #adoption #adoptionawareness #adoptionstory #gayparents #lgbtqfamily
WOWWW yall, this popped off!! thank you so much 🥹🥹 I’m more active on instagram now @becomingben if you want to follow and watch my newer videos there! y’all are the best❤❤ edit: maybe I'll do an AMA on my IG stories??
This is so cool! It made me so happy to hear your story!!
Ok.
@@BecomingBenSmith I’m glad this is getting attention now because it’s a really neat story and I love hearing about other people’s experiences!!
This is proof that multicultural, queer families CAN raise well-adjusted, bright, intelligent children. It takes a village to raise children, and it doesn't matter who. As long as they are kind people.
Also separated parents! I think we take 4 granted the collective efforts & wider family in child raising. I feel there is so much love in this family that raising good children was inevitable regardless of familial structure.
They are not multicultural, the kid was raised in USA, not China
This is sick
@@boubacarsylla563
It's so wholesome. I can't blame you if you think it's cool
@@Pedro-ul1gr
isn't the US a melting pot though lol, hence it being multicultural
WHY ARE WE ALL GETTING RECOMMEND THIS 4YRS LATER😭💜 BRUHHH I would have watched this 4yrs ago🥲
Omg yes same
SAME
I would like to have been adopted by two gay men. In 1973, at age 11, I was placed in a home for child abuse because of my homosexuality. The result was violence by 365 boys, approximately 365 days a year. Some of the few gay kids broke down. I went into silence mode. I wish I had a dad and father instead back then.
i’m so sorry you went through all of that. hope you’re doing well
😢 I'm so sorry. No child should have to experience that. I hope your life is infinitely better now ❤
What so ever Lane we walk through in life either narrow or wild we just have to learn to be strong.
I'm so sorry for that... ☹☹
hope you are okay
As a bi man that once believed I couldn't start a family if I married a man. You give me hope.
WHY IS THIS RECCOMENDED TO ME 4 YEARS LATER THIS IS A MASTERPEICE
Edit: im famous
SAME
no cause literally
TH-cam IS VERY STRANGE WITH RECOMMENDATIONS TODAY 💀 yesterday youtube recommended me a video from 5 years ago where a TH-camr was saying goodbye to her fans because her depression got the better of her and she committed su1c1d3 😢 (I don't want to disrespect anyone btw I was just mentioning it, I hope you don't get offended❤)
REAL 😭😭😭
@@BURNINTHEDEEPESTPITOFHELL Once it’s on the internet, it’s always on the internet.
I briefly started getting stuff from The Love Connection TV show that came out Before the internet.
Heck, I get texts from people on something I posted several years ago and they’re seeing it as if I just posted it.
I have two Moms and I love you very much, I am not adopted, my biological mother and my father separated when I was 6 years old because he hit us often and my mother began go to psychology with me and there she met Camila who is now my second mother. I am not ashamed of them at all and I feel happy with them ❤️
Beautiful❤
This is so cute! I hope you and your mothers are doing fine now, you guys deserve the best!
Love is love. As long as a child is protected, nurtured and loved, it doesn’t matter what gender the parents are. Your dads seem like great people. You’re fortunate.
@@lizzfrmhon some love is an abomination
Real. Two dads or two moms are better than none or abusive ones.
What about all the kids who were raised by gay parents who say it DOES matter?
@@jordandthornburgThey would have been raised by no one if they weren't adopted, your argument is stupid.
@@jordandthornburgif it comes from a place of bigotry, their opinion is irrelevant. If they truly believe they would have been better out with no parents than gay parents, they’re delusional.
Until recently I've been working as a substitute teacher. Towards the end of the last year I was in a first grade class, and one of the little boys came up to me and told me that he had two moms. I responded by telling him how cool that was and that he was very lucky and special to have two moms. I was amazed by his courage to be so open, but now that I think about it, he wasn't being courageous at all. It was simply all he knew. It was normal for him.
Hopefully in the future it can get normalized to a point like this for society. That people won’t NEED to be courageous to speak about their queer connections…
What makes it more amazing is that your parents filmed everything when you were kids. They really really love you so much. So much more than average straight parents to their kids.
ikr. this was the era where there was no phone camera. it's crazy amount of footage for that time. my family had no videos AT ALL back then bcs we couldn't afford it. he was so loved, i hope he knows that
I got nothing from my childhood I envy this guy
your dads both are sooo HANDSOME!!
and YOU TOO! :D
Mhm! It must have been passed on from both of them! 😊
Facts. Beautiful family all around
@@Stempy-channel😭
Im a young gay guy, when I catch myself thinking about having kids, I find myself asking how they'd think and feel about having two dads. It's a big world out there, alot of people and different thinking. You, your dads, and how you were and what you are now... is just amazing to think about. Thank you.
This is me currently, I would hate to make my kids experience discrimination just because they have 2 dads, it just really bugs me
@@sebastianlaz137 If my interracial parents were worried about the discrimination I'd face, I wouldn't even exist!!
@@sebastianlaz137 Maybe the solution normalizing the fact that you can have 2 dads or 2 moms and be a perfect functional family as any other family.
Having 1 mom and 1 dad doesn't mean you will have necessarily a good childhood either. I think most kids get some kind of discrimination or insults for whatever they are different, if kids wants to laugh at you and isolate you, they will find a reason to do so no matter how your family is.
@@mariaastin This is really solid, I'm from a very very very homophobic country (Nigeria) where staying in the closet just seems like common sense, people always find a way to discriminate if something strays outside "societal norms", or any thing that's foreign to them, you can't really blame them tho considering it's how they were brought up
@@sebastianlaz137 yeah well, it's true that it depends on the context, on the social norms. But I think it's interesting to have an open mind and normalize things that are not really a problem, like they are not as bad as conservative people believe, and be more emphatic and respectful to others.
But well, if you see that it's like impossible to tackle the problem, you may consider not to have children at least, not surrounded by this particular society.
I have two moms! Nice to see you out here telling your story
Yes! Thanks so much for sharing September Maeve!! Say hi to your family for me!
brooo 😭
@@akuhimayoumatoiwdym "broo😭"?
@@syasya030 nahh crying cause damn bro shes lucky asf , like i myself also want two mom or dad but its not possible atleast two bestfriend 😮💨
@@akuhimayoumatoiIt's ok❤ actually nobody can born from 2 moms or 2 dads! So it's ok to be adopted by 2 moms if you would like to
Search about them and I'm sure you'll find a lovely ones❤
Your dads seems like kind, caring dads & you get to have TWO of them 💕
this is such a heartwarming video. i’m a gay man who was also adopted from china and, although i’m not sure if i’ll have kids in the future, it fills me with joy seeing you and your family living and thriving. it gives me hope for the future.
Whenever I see people say "Children deserve a mom and a dad" my mind immediately goes "but what if gay dads or lesbian moms can provide a stable parent like figure of the opposite gender, like a family friend or uncle/aunt?"
And by seeing how happy you were and are, their argument kinda... Drops. Tho many children long for a parent of a different gender, it doesn't mean all will.
Even if you have a male and female parent it still doesn't necessarily work because there would always be at least some children longing for 1 parent, or 2 of the same gender. Personally I'd probably like 2 mothers if I was to choose what I think I'd like most.
Those people seriously need to get a grip and realize children should be treated as individuals and not "well mommy and daddy setup work for MY little one, so obviously I know better for every other child everywhere out there in the world" 🤧
As someone with two moms I was shocked when I saw how many people want two moms .
OMG. I ama lesbian and I am thinking about having a wife and children in the future but I know the probability is so low. But still, I really want to be a mother and I know that my children would need a male figure so I would make sure they got male figures. And I think people don't look at only one parent as a model. I think all children look at both of their parents as their role models.
@@mariatrinitymya8618
Exactly! Also hope you'll be a great mom
i had no idea gay dads could adopt back then! But im sooooo glad they could . or thered be no ben smith!
Nesse! Wow such a nice comment, thank you so much for watching.
Yes that young Ben Smith was quite a dazzler...
Why thank you!
My best friend has two moms and when we first started school I got so confused that she was the only person in my school with that- anyway, years later we’re still best friends and her moms are still the two people that I can trust the same as my own parents :)
Kids deserve parents who can give them all the love in the world,no matter the gender❤
I love how we're all being recommended this beautiful video now.
This gives me a ton of nostalgia for being a kid in the 90s. Glad you had a positive experience with having two dads.
I’m speechless. The storytelling - these precious video time capsules - the love your fathers have for you and you for them! I’m soo inspired by your sharing and can’t wait to hear more 🙏💛💛💛!
The Dork Web! Thank you for your constant support! It's much appreciated and helps me push to create more.
Thanks for Sharing. My partner and I adopted a 9 yr old boy and we are adopting next year. We keep watching videos from adoptee. This was amazing. :))))))
Wow, thank you for watching! Hope you're able to share with the rest of your family. What was your favorite part? (Also, was wondering how did you come across my video? Planning for the launch of my next one soon!)
@@BecomingBenSmith I love how so 80s/90 style the video is. It brought me nostalgia. I had to watch the video again because I had forgotten. I also like the highlight about kids not caring what parents you have. That is unless they were fed hatred. So I. Glad that you met a nice little girl when you were little.
Aww hope that go well and you have very cute toddler
I'm gonna cry/ that's beautiful
Groomer
WE ARE ACCEPTING OURSELVES WITH THIS ONE ❤🗣🗣💥💥💯💯‼️‼️💥💯🗣❤❤
TH-cam explain yourself! Why you recommend me this after 4 years huh? This is so wholesome!😭💕
Wow. Yt algorithm recommended me this 4 years late. Super cool family! Subscribed.
Bro, I literally just cried watching this, it was so good! Great storytelling, loved the editing and the message is beautiful 💛
Welcome to the algorithm friend. I really needed a good video to pick me up this morning. I am just running a small shop by myself in texas, and im just emotionally touched by the amount of love and effort put into your content. and the love and effort put into raising you into the person you are today. new subscriber here!
I enjoyed the video and can personally relate to the story as one of two dads of an adopted child growing up in the 1990s in New York City. So happy to see your story with such a positive message.
Joseph! Thank you for this and great to hear about your background. I'd love to hear more!
Don't know why your video's got in my recommendation after so many years, but man.... I wish I could tell about my "parents" so happily as you! And thanks for the advice, appreciate it ☺️
I'm looking forward to your journey becoming Ben Smith.
Thank you James! I can't want to share more videos with you.
Discovered your channel today. Love your intelligent and thoughtful dialogue. The videos with your dads when you were a baby made me happy. Absolutely adorable.
No but I am so happy seeing someone just living there life and being happy with two das, it gives me hope as a gay man :)
Such sweet memories of you joining our family. Being a part of your journey brings me great joy! This is a fantastic video. We love you!
Ok now I'm crying, love it, just beautiful
I’m crying since your crying!
Episode 2 is out: How My Dads Met th-cam.com/video/FBVaDhjeu2g/w-d-xo.html
Hope you're enjoying this series. Let me know if you have any ideas. :)
I've been recommended this 4 years later and I am happy:))))
This does not look like just a video, it look like something that fit right into educational children's TV shows! Very well put together 🙂
You just keep making these types of videos. It’s important! You have got a beautiful experience and you gotta share it. Your family is cool, gorgeous, healthy, unique and absolutely normal. And you have the talent to make this!
I loved this, and since I know your both fathers, and know how full of love they are, i'm so glad they found you so that you could form this beautiful family...love to you all.
Proof that Kids in same sex homes are just as happy as kids in Hetero households. Except more challenges because of society .
Nahhhhh hell😊
@@YaqpokAnimeI wish that you'll be blessed with a loving life and family.
@@jee2158 I have a good family 😊
@@YaqpokAnimeyou lie. We all know your father abandoned you and your mom😂
@@Bilbilauli know you struggle with mental health but try your hardest not to talk about someone's parents like that
Thank you for sharing your story. IMHO this a great time to share these stories and what I hope is it will impress upon people that their children are naturally curious, they will ask and giving them an honest, respectable answer often satisfies their curiosity but also teaches them which contributes towards expanding their horizons. That little girl's response also highlights that we often lead children down a negative path instead of allowing them to stay on their own path of acceptance.
Absolutely wonderful story. Couldn't help but think of how proud Grandma/pa Bennie and Larry would be of you.
Thank you so much! I hope they would be!
i was smiling so hard but at the same time had tears streaming down my face bc this hit so close to home for me, i grew up with two dad people made fun of me but i loved them and i never saw anything wrong with it "love is love right? so why can't they be in love in peace, so can you mid your own?!" is what would said a lot to people and "why do you care who THEY get intimate with?!" i was made fun of bc my two dad, by the time i got to mid school i hated my dad bc of what thoes people did to me bc of them but then they sat me down and said "don't listen to anyone, k , we try to move you to a dif school and we make sure it never happens anymore" ( it was something like that, was a long time ago) and they did that. i stop hated them and this just made my day bc im older now and bi with a girlfriend 9 im a girl) and i want kids but i don't want my kids to thought what i did to have hate for me.
Ben, this was beautiful and incredibly well done!! The storytelling was fantastic, especially with such an honest, heartfelt voiceover. What a relief it was to hear that girl say "that's so cool!" in response to her asking why you had 2 dads. It's amazing how small interactions like this when you're young can affect you the rest of your life. I wonder what it would have been like growing up if she had said something else, but I'm glad that it was a positive experience :) Also awww young Ben. You didn't just make a youtube video, you made a phenomenal short film. Can't wait to see more videos and learn more about your story! As an adoptee, I can relate to having others wonder why my parents don't look like me, but I just openly tell them that I'm adopted. Embracing that is the best thing you can do!
Wowwww! Lily, thank you so much for this very thoughtful response. I absolutely agree, these small interactions can often compound over time. They play a large part in our development, shaping us into who we are and how we feel about ourselves. I am very lucky and grateful that she and many of my peers were enthusiastic and accepting of my differences. What a special thing. Thanks for your insight, Lily! I really appreciate it and can't wait to share more and to continue learning from your journey.
This is so adorable! Why wasn't I recommended this earlier?! I loved this so much
This story is so cute, I'm glad you got such a nice first response
Wow! This made me cry! Very great narration! All I see is love. Your two dads for each other, their love for you and your love for yourself. Thank you for sharing this. Much love to you and your family. 💙
As a young gay guy (15) I’ve been thinking about having kids and my future overall… in this economy I’m not sure I’ll be able to but if things get better by the time I have a partner then I could have a kid. Although I know I’m thinking quite far ahead it’s something I still want to have. I’m so glad my fyp showed me this ty :)
Good luck bro
THIS IS SO GOOD WHY DIDN'T WE ALL GET RECOMMENDED THIS 4 YEARS EALIER THAN NOW ❤
I love this man. You told the story so well. I wish I had videos from my childhood like you do
Thanks Manoa!!! Really appreciate it. Can't wait to create more!
Everything about this was so cute! You were sooooo cute as a kid! 😭❤️ And your dad's also seem so cute! The way you told the story was adorable as well. "I remembered how good the cupcake was at lunch. I loved cupcakes." Cracked me up haha. All the best to you and your family and thank you for sharing your story! ❤️
❤ heartwarming and cool!! I wish I saw this 20 years ago as my husband and I thought of adopting but were afraid not being the best choice for a child giving a child two dads , so we did not adopt.
Yknow this is wholesome. I can genuinely see the love your family has . It's something not everyone feels about their home. Gender stuff etc aside- it reminded me that good parents are important , good people foster happy children and stable homes. You are blessed and lucky to have a lovely home 🌱 And they're blessed to have such a happy child like you. Wholesome stuff.
Can't wait for the next video in two years!
Hahaha. Don't worry! Will be sooner ;)
genuinely one of my favorite things on the internet 💗
Ben, this is beautiful. This is the first video of yours that I stumbled upon. I look forward to watching more. My husband and I have adopted two children. We are white and our son is Mexican. He looks nothing like us. I understand how families can look different. Thank you for sharing your story.
It's very rarely that I stumble upon videos like these and I AM SO HAPPY I DID🥺🥰😍. I'm definitely saving this one. It was great watching ur story. U are definitely unique bro.
This is terrific! Thanks for this!! I love it.
My husband and I brought our son home from New Jersey last month. He's one month old now. I've often wondered how it'll shake out when he goes off to school.
Wow! Congrats Ryan and let me know how his first day goes -- hopefully this provided some insight. What was your favorite part?
Kids will be curious for one second then say “oh the wiggles new sonG lol”
how did it go?
this is a masterpiece, the way you show all that love of your family made me cry a little, its really lovely
Sending love from the Philippines. You are THE BEN SMITH! God loves you!
Continue to love yourself being you.
This is... Precious, beautiful... The narrative in words and images. Thanks for sharing.
as long as the child is safe and grows up nicely, there is no problem with who raised them
You story gave me a big hopes , thanks 🫂
This is so awesome Ben! I remember the day you arrived! We were all so excited to meet you! It seems like yesterday to me. Fantastic job. Cant wait to see the rest of the videos! Love MC!
Thank you so much, Christine!!
So so good man!! Cant wait to see how this channel grows
Thank you Will!!! Learning from a lot from you!
The biggest problem with having 2 dads is the sheer amount of dad jokes one has to endure their entire life.
Hey, atleast no mom jokes
Honestly I was never curious about your family name. Look, so many Williams, Brown, Smith and.. In fact, your dads are gorgeous and you are very handsome. You have a wonderful family and home. Millions of people around the world want to have a happy life as you do.
Love this! I hope my son will have a similar,
positive experience when he grows up.
So happy to see people embracing themselves for who they truly are..❤
The thing about having gay parents is that you know you're going to be taught love and acceptance, rather than hate, which is more unhealthy and does nothing by cause yourself and others damage.
So true… sometimes people are just curious- not trying to be hurtful with their questions.
Love is Love.
I’m in tears, This is so beautiful 🥹❤
this is criminally underviewed. shoutout to dad and dad for raising you
As someone with a trans stepdad this video made me feel better about stuff
Love the editing and the story line! Happy for your family. One mom and one dad, two dads, two moms or whatever it is. They deserved to be happy
OMG JOHN BUTLER AS THE SOUNDTRACK IS OS BEAUTIFUL! Don't know many people who know about him! I grew up listening to John Butler Trio, so it adds to the nostalgia of your video for me :)
I have a friend that has a little boy and she always says that if she has a partner that person will also be his mom and he is really happy about it
Your parents are really handsome and all the videos looked so cute!!
My mom was a single mother when she met my dad, my brother really looks like my mom(blue eyes and blond) but my dad had dark green eyes and a darker skin tone, you could clearly see he wasn't his son and the age gap between my parents...the question was always IS HE YOUR GRANDPA? And somehow you get use to it
I really loved your video
Subscribed after your dads linked to your channel in our Gay Dads group. This is amazing and beautiful thank you so much for making this
Thank you so much! Can't wait to share more. have any ideas for me?
AWWW BEN! How cute as a little child you are! It seems you have a loving and wonderful family. Saludos Ben!
This video made me very emotional 🥺
Gay dads represented in animated children’s classic nursery rhymes. As sung by Broadway’s CJ Pawlikowski (who currently stars as Bob Gaudio in “Jersey Boys” in NYC) the lyrics to “Five Little Monkeys” have been changed to “their daddies called the doctor and the doctor said.” Now is the time for representation! #progressongs
What an adorable and hope-provoking video. Thank you for sharing your story, Ben!
bookworm41191 thank you so much!! Yes, hope! What a wonderful word.
at primary there was a girl with 2 mums never really thought of it much thought it was normal until people began bullying her - idk where she is at life as it’s been years i hope she’s alright
Can’t believe TH-cam waited four years to recommend me this masterpiece 😭
thats so cute! i love your story
A story implied told yet with a powerful message. It is about love and support. Can’t wait to see future videos.
im not crying YOURE CRYING
Ahhh I recognize John Butler's OCEAN anywhere!! You sir have a great taste. Beautiful story.
I don't know how anyone can survive having 2 fathers growing up.
Imagine the amount of dad jokes, good lord...
My heart is warm from this video; thank you for sharing your story like this 🥰💕
What an amazing, bright, & hopeful future we ALL will have as long as young men [& women] like Ben make all the world aware of the same opportunity to grow up in the "modern culture" he is promoting with his vlog. Ben, you are amazing, bright, & hopeful. You are truly what "It Gets Better" is all about. In all my 71 years of searching, I have found in your attitude the purpose, reason, & idealism we are all meant to live.
This is truly a wholesome video. But my question right now.....WHY WOULD TH-cam RECOMMEND ME 4 YEARS LATER!?!! 😭😭😭
It was hard for me to press the video because I'm scared that it's gonna be about negative stuff, but I'm glad I watched this ❤❤
just clicked on this cuz ur parents look so cute and happy
OMG THIS IS BEAUTIFUL
Ahhh this is so adorable my heartttt!! I swear the people who liked your differences as a kid have such an amazing and huge impact on our self confidence forever!
It's an indiscreet question, but why do you have only Dad Bill's surname?
Please, keep them coming.
As a gay dude who knows that my life will be incomplete without a family, I would like to know how you felt throughout the different phases of your childhood and adolescence.
Thank you so much for the vids, Ben.
Ben! This is so joyous! What a delight to see your wonderful dads way back when again. Sylvia Calabrese (Christopher's mum).
Hi Sylvia! Wow, thank you!!