Adam I TOTALLY relate!! I think I'm even a step further down the spiral than you. I'm 54, have always lived alone, never had a partner, and spent a lot of my life unemployed, or as one 'work coach' described me 'unemployABLE' I have my own little business now though which really really helps. I took a lot of financial risks and stretched my anxiety to the MAX during the training for my new job. It was a very long lonely scary period, I cried a lot because I was out of my comfort zone, failing, and hated the people around me because I had nothing in common with them, 30 years older for a start! My point is...my family dont ever even ASK me if I'm actually ok, and I think they don't ask because they don't really want the true answer because they won't be able to deal with it. I've never had any emotional support from my family, growing up or now as an adult. I just plod along and pretend I'm fine, to be honest I am for the most part, because I've normalised how I feel in my head, I'm used to feeling the way I do. I don't know what the answer is, for me I'm so lucky I can just focus on running my business, and outside work I'm just too tired to think about how I actually feel. Work also tires me out twice as much because even there I have to present that I'm an ok confident person... Anyway, I'm with you Adam, and thank you for being honest about how you feel, and articulating it so well, and making me feel I am not alone
Thanks for being 54,I am 51 and your words give me hope,I got the feeling my salvation would come from running a bussyness and after reading your post I am 100 per cent sure about it.
Oh and Adam, we think you're a handsome guy. When we came across your video, you have this warm friendly and relatable presence with you. You're a very likable person and that's gods honest truth.
Just don't off yourself, stay hydrated, and get adequate sleep. Please, remember that you're only human. I'm going through the same thing, and living another day is a chore. We can do this; all of us, together.
Oh Adam i wish we lived in the same area i’d walk with you on your walks everyday 😂 i’ve been where you are so watchin you start to see small progress makes me happy (for a stranger). Bro that feeling doesn’t go away but you learn to ride it out until you stabilise again. You will make it threw this. And hey you have no idea how good your videos are. Jst keep pushing and we’ll keep supporting
I've been in a hole for months now, it happened randomly at work and it shot me to the ground and I ended up leaving the job because I couldn't face going back. I'm beginning to think it's autism or something related because there's no way I can have this much social anxiety. It's the consistent fear of how others perceive me, I see disgusted angry faces most of the time and leads me to feel the need to make everyone comfortable. I stopped caring years ago and it's come back stronger than ever. This channel shines a light on mental health awareness and I can see why you're starting to gain some traction here. Keep it up, I'm here to stay.
Hey Adam, I am 33 and in a similar situation to you. I want you to know that watching your videos have really helped me. They have helped me understand that I am not abnormal, and that other people are struggling, still at home, getting older, and struggling getting established in their careers. Your bravery talking about what we are all feeling inspires me. Thank you man.
Adam it hasn't been an alright week, its been an amazing week for you. This week you touched me across the internet and inspired me to give another person positive vibes and they probably did it to others to create an exponential ripple with a surface area that we can barely imagine. All the while you did it feeling 'okay'. Never forget that achievement mate! xx
Thankyou.. and I will admit that opening line really got me thinking on things about how I acknowledge 'wins' in my life.. found myself asking a lot of questions.. so thank you too
I'm grateful to have your videos. Thanks for speaking with a sense of reality; I'm sure your channel will keep growing and you will find some sort of success here. Keep it up!
Remember all the support you get from the comments section, we all have a positive view on you. Try relate that with your family, they likely view you even more positively. I don't know if they have seen your vids or not, but as we have grown to appreciate you more by hearing more of your thoughts, I imagine your family would too. Thank you for the video.
we are still here for you whatever happens dude, the waters of the mind will bring you to calm waters now and again, but you are a special soul, sometimes there is more growth in sadness that happiness, but it will be ok.
Another quote that made me get over worrying about what people thought of me was as follows. It seems negative at first, but it's just matter of fact. "You'd worry less about what people think of you, if you realized how seldom they do"
My therapist once told me that in those bad moments if you can be curious about why something has made you feel low or anxious instead of closing your mind off to it your much more likely to come to an understanding about that particular struggle. As someone who can relate with the current struggles you have going on in your life i think these videos are the epitome of that curiousness that my therapist is talking about. You are still having rough days but you accept it and try to find the answer and move on instead of wollowing and it gives me the courage to keep that daily fight up also. One of the things misunderstood about mental health is for alot of us its a daily struggle, at times in my life it has ben easier to catagorise how many times i havent been nervous than when i was as its been a real constant. Glad your still in the battle bro.
thank you for your videos Adam, this one hit close to home. I've noticed that whenever I meet people, I avoid at all costs asking them how they are doing or about their lives and cling on to common interests. I think this is a result of what you describe here, and it's the fact that being asked the same questions in return would be so immensely uncomfortable, after so many years of not having anything good to respond with. It's saddening and exhausting. And when they do ask me, I often play pretend but forget to ask them in return, as I don't want to bring the same discomfort unto them. I think some people might see this as kind of rude or impolite, which adds another layer of difficulty in social arenas. I've become quite the shut in and I do enjoy my own company, but I certainly wish I could be more proud of the person I am and be more confident when meeting new people.
I hear you. A lot for me comes from how much do you care about the persons answer? Most will say they are fine but you might find 1 or 2 that will start to talk, this is then the battle, because you can engage with them in conversation, most people won't talk about something they don't want to share or feel comfortable with, but a lot will get talking if they feel its a 'safe' space. Sometimes offering them an ear is enough. For sure, it can also play on our own minds with our own things, but if we project that fear of how to answer the question onto others, we really do shut ourselves away, even if we don't particularly want to.
Glad you are doing okay and survived the week! You are doing great at recognizing your brain latching onto negativity, and doing something about it to keep negativity at bay. You always do your best in things, even if it is social interaction, and that is good enough. Self-care and compassion is so important. If you ever get a negative voice, ask, "Would you say that to (someone in your shoes, a loved one, a close friend)?" You are much more emotionally aware than many people, and actually want to be better/feel better, and it speaks volumes of your character.
You are doing a fantastic job. You are honest with your feelings, and I can tell you are trying your best. So many people are seeing a lot of good in you. Be kind to yourself. You are going to be okay, better than okay.
Keep pushing Adam, it’s just a phase, like the rain it’ll pass. People are complicated and there’s far more people out there like you than you realize. Wishing you the best mate, hope you feel better soon.
One trick I learned recently that has been a revolution is when you think something is bad, you follow it with a BUT something positive. This literally rewires your brain and improves your experience. For example: "Ugh I'm stuck in traffic again I'm going to be late for work... but I'm so happy to have gainful employment and have these few extra minutes to myself." "I wish the kids would go to bed I'm so tired... but I'm lucky to have such beautiful children and that I can spend a few more moments with them before bed." Is it "lying" to yourself? Sort of, I guess... but it's really more like seeing another perspective--a positive spin--on the situation.
You got this g. I've been there and I read my way through it. Can't recommend The Power of Now and Mind Power Into the 21st Century enough. Changed my life. Peace brotha
I’ve tried reading power of now but it’s hard to grasp the words but I believe tolle is on the money saying separating your thoughts and the observer, I wish I could grasp it to fully understand but I try meditate at least
thank you for makign your videos, i relate so much with you, i hope all is well! keep it up , every video i watch of yours makes me feel a bit better knowing i'm not alone out there :D
sorry to hear that! just take care of you; both your mind and body; rest and meditate. If you have to rest then take a rest from social media, - social media can also be exhausting but you are doing good Adam! :)
You just put my thoughts in words honestly. Once you unknowingly let negativity get to your head everything just comes crashing down. And oh my god, I totally understand the part that you said that when negativity gets so deep into your head you start to visualize yourself in a bad light so therefore you think that people also see you in that way. Honestly I hope all of us don't have to go through this for long, 'cause oh my god I swear- 😭😂
I have that feeling a lot too. That everyone's lying and they don't actually like you. Or they like you for superficial reasons and if they knew the real you they wouldn't like you etc. Getting better over time tho i think. Just bein aware of when it arises helps I guess
Hey man, I also got diagnosed with bipolar 2 I really understand your struggle. Lithium really helped me to be more stable and gain back control over my thoughts. Most important is to get you to a point where you can build something up for yourself and gain some autonomy for yourself. Believing in a good future for yourself is literally the best antidepressant there is. I failed a lot in life aswell and I am without work at the moment aswell, but I refuse to give up my dream and my hope for the future, because I know once I do, I am already a dead man walking. I wish you the best really!
im sending you a virtual hug. i totally feel that you are a very smart, empathic person who is able to reflect on thoughts and feelings so well. i believe it is important to just risk being honest and possibly being "too much" for others because you'd be surprised how many people actually feel the same and will start opening up once someone does it too (i mean look at the many people that subscribed to you in a short time). and it feels good to know that a lot of people know this same feeling and knowing this also makes people feel less alone. also, i cannot stress enough how wonderful the help of a good psychotherapist is! especially when dealing with mental challenges it can be so helpful to have a professional find a healthy way to deal with it. and then those huge oberwhelming feelings or negative self-talks are suddenly much less present once they are identified or why they are there (most of the time it is usually old wounds from the past). it will get better, i promise. sending much love
Sleep deprivation can really mess you up. So can dehydration. Sounds so simple but do drink a large glass of water, relax as best you can, concentrate on releasing tension throughout your body, take several deep breaths, and if you don’t fall asleep then at least you’ll be giving your body & your mind a break. It’s sometimes very difficult to turn off the brain, so gentle music or sounds of the ambient variety may help a lot. Good luck, I hope it helps.
I really think you are a very clever and interesting guy. I live in Europe in a beautiful country, in a wonderful house, normal life. I love nature so it has helped me when I feel sad. I don't have depression, but lately I just feel "sad". Even though I am an extremely positive person. My mother just died so I figure it may be that. No one is ever "always" happy. I do enjoy your videos, you are very honest about what you are truly feeling. It's good to let it out, but like you say not everyone understands. Good luck in everything you got this! ❤
Those moments when someone asks if you're ok, you feel like screaming noooooooo! Neither do you know where to start or how to convey the enormity of the constant battle that goes on in your head like a background hum. So you just say " yep " and quickly moved along. Often the tiniest thing can trigger a downward spiral. Might even be something outward such as an argument or losing £50 out of your wallet
Brother. If the black dog came for you this week and you spotted it, realised what it was, and you are taking steps keeping it at bay that is a fucking top week considering the alternatives. It could of turned you bitter or spiteful and I see a thoughtful, gentle, caring gent. Forcing myself to do exercise can work for me. Makes you tired as a byproduct as well as endorphins so helps you sleep. As I say to myself and others when we get it, eat well, exercise, sleep. It’s exactly what the black dog fears and will talk to out of it. Advise yourself like you would one of us or a friend.
I wanted to say a couple of things that this video made me think of though apologies if it’s not entirely relevant to this video. Firstly, in my experience, when it comes to negative thoughts it really is like one thought opens the flood gates! I can be lying in bed unable to sleep worrying about one thing and then my mind then has me worrying about every eventuality possible, even things that may not even happen. Secondly, depression is really hard to describe in words, I was thinking about this yesterday funnily enough, words like “sad” and “unhappy”, despite being true, don’t really cut it for me. It’s more a lost, overwhelmed feeling. Or to put it another way, it’s like a net sporadically comes and suffocates you for a couple of days/weeks. Anyway, just thought I’d share that as seeing you try to articulate it all gives me that warm feeling of relatability so maybe hearing me ramble on does the same. Take care.
Have you heard of RSD? ‘People with rejection sensitive dysphoria have an emotional reaction to negative judgments, exclusion, or criticism beyond what most people feel. It has some overlap with Social Anxiety Disorder, the two can occur together & even contribute to each other’. You mention bipolar so I presume you are under the care of a medical professional, some people don’t like ‘labels’ but I like to think of them as signposts. They help to understand the reasons why we feel like we do & gives a good starting point to develop coping strategies from.
I think what you need to try is a new hobby, a new skill. Hope and passion, a drive. I think you should take on computer sciences, programming and delve into the emerging futuristic world of artificial intelligence. I believe a clever individual like you will find success in that.
Just a afterthought have you tried journalling. Like getting the emotions and thought patterns onto paper so you can see if a pattern or something subtly is triggering you? Good video resonates alot 👍
I have a suspicion that often when we feel suddenly low like that it can be due to a B vitamin deficiency. Even schizophrenia which is often characterised by paranoia can be cured by one of the B vitamins apparently. I can’t remember which one atm. Try taking a multi B daily like Berocca. It might help keep those sudden low moods at bay. I think having anaesthesia for operations can increase your body’s need for those vitamins.
I have a very positive view on you. You are even brave enough to share this experience from last night. I know that there are ups and downs in all kind of development. For me it's a bit like trying to get out of the ocean. The waves coming back from the coast can be strong opposing forces. Keeping calm, swimming diagonal to the wave or dive under the wave are strategies to minimize this effect in swimming and reaching the coast nevertheless. Perhaps the negative thoughts from last night were too relateable, so that they were able to sneek in. Fighting against these kind of thoughts in a straight manner might cost a lot of energy, but mitigating the effect of these thoughts might help in knowing that in fact a lot of people like you and that you are on the best way to develop even further. If there are still people who don't like you, so be it. You are growing day by day and that's the best you can do. You will reach your goal despite all ods. :-)
Listening to you talking, it's like hearing my own thoughts (except with an awesome British accent). All I have to say is thanks for being here, and if you can hang on then maybe I can do the same.
Hey Mate, great vid. I can defo relate to that. I'd say for me my thoughts tend to spiral towards "they can do without me" rather than "they hate me", I recon for someone to hate you at least you've had an impact 😅 I have a great therapist now, the see others knocking therapists generally for recoomending "useless" things like square breathing that don't address the root cause, but for me it's been exellent, I've realised I can't "out think" depression, my thoughts always feel "rational", whatever that means, and tend ot lead in the same direction, so I just take pause and prictice self southing excersices. I also get that "are you ok?" line, often, or why are you nervous, or in interactions with girls, I've had them ask me "am I scary?" I find it starts with a pause, something about the moment takes my attention and I can't concentrate, I forget my words, and when I realise the other person has aknowledged the pause, the panic grows and the pause gets longer and longer.. I believe The Donald Trump calls it "choking", I'm a cronic choker. I try to laugh it off these days as best I can 😅
You have to learn that you'll never please all of the people all of the time. We all have good days and bad days. That's ok! Life is not supposed to be a walk in the park. We are dealing with it daily.
I suffered from intrusive thoughs and hand movements. What helped me was to, over a longer time, replace them with lesser versions. I know mine came from mental stress, so I done everything I can to reduce stress. Sleeping is like you said important, I got periods of bad sleep and periods of really good sleep. Trying to keep a schedule and removal of _any_ coffee 5 hours before bedtime has helped somewhat.
i'm not diagnosed bipolar but I have a very similar experience of highs and lows; the same things exist but the perception of how much they matter etc. changes. with the influx of viewers I imagine the paranoia abt people's perception of you etc. being very hard even w/o bipolar.
I wouldn’t worry what other people think about you. You have to realise people have their own problems, to be honest their not really interested in your problems. That’s the truth, unfortunately it took me till 45 to realise this.
I don’t know if you mean like you like really cannot sleep at all at night, but one thing that has worked for me is fixing your bed up making it neat, and putting on something nice to watch or listen to before sleeping
I recommend the book "Feeling Good" by David Burns. It deals with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, a therapy that you might find useful with the mind reading you are doing with other people. CBT in general is helpful if you do the work. Cheers from Toronto.
@@FatTonyTheSkipper I would read the book first as a cheap option. It's from the creator of the CBT method of therapy so you're getting a great breakdown of it. It is a must read in my book if you do the work outlined as mentioned. I would try therapy after the book if you don't get help.
Adam are you seeking any treatment? Would you consider therapy or counselling? This might be helpful to explore your feelings with a professional. Listening to you talk you appear to be worried about being judged. Thats totally normal. Although, you can't read other people's minds. Be kind to yourself. I've recently been reading about CEN (Childhood Emptional Neglect). Check out a book called 'Running on Empty'. This concept made me realise I tend to suppress my emotions because that's how i was raised. I feel empathy for you. You come across as a cool guy. Don't be afraid of your emotions, give youself permission to feel them. Us humans tend to think of ourselves as thought driven before emotions, but really we are feeling driven creatures that think.
How do you get diagnosed? No doctor I met could understand that or even believe me. There are some tests for that? For sleeping I recommend taki some suplements, like vitamins - L-Tryptophan 60 minutes before sleep and then 30 minutes before sleep Melatonine Overall daily taking vitamins that your organizm have lack of may be a good idea: I take Omega-3 Fish Oil, Zinc, B12, D3, C, magnesium, laxtobaxtillus gasseri Also walking as you said is a good idea, but often I dont have willingness for that We all have lacks
My diagnosis was from the gp when I was younger. Now I know some people will say something like.. ohh you are just living believing that mindset etc, but I genuinely day to day don't even think about it. Just like most I just get in with life and try and deal with whats going on in the head. But I think it would be stupid not to acknowledge it when things get really rough if that makes sense? Though I dont have answers to why I have very low moments, undemanding that it is 'something' makes me feel that I'm not just going though something. I dont recall how they diagnosed it if I'm honest so I can't give much more im afraid
Brain chemistry is a bitch. But I´ve noticed that looking at things from that perspective really helps. Other thing, I´ve found that a med/drug mirtazapine really helps with sleeping.
Adam you seem like a great guy, the sort of guy that I would enjoy going for a pint with! I know that you are probably fed up with people telling you what you "need" but have you ever tried meditation and mindfulness? It has been a game changer for me and someone else I know who suffered from depression.
I have tried a little, I found it very difficult to switch off the mind in all honesty. If you can point me in the direction of any sources, I will happily take a look tbh.
bro, carl rogers type therapy .. its a psychotherapy where you talk and your therapist mostly just listens. if you need to break down in tears thats the place. works wonders. recommended. saying that a as single man, your age, who relates to you and your feelings. if you think about it, thats what youre doing with this youtube thing anyway. you speak, internet people listen. but we are not trained to adress mental health issues.
@@FatTonyTheSkipper at first you might just vent, but later on you should advance to do more - sort out ideas, create narratives, make sense of each issue, put pieces in places where they belong, you might notice details you were not aware of before, etc. if done right this process puts you on the path of healing. but you have to get there by yourself. the role of therapist is to be there with you, to listen, and witness how you discover better state of mind, without disrupting it with some stupid advice. no one can give you better advice than you can give yourself. some people can actually approach therapy wrong. and therapy will not work for them. that doesnt mean they are doomed. there can be something else thats gonna help them.
Could you try volunteering and helping others? You sort of get a helper's high. Kind of what you are doing with your videos but in real life. Even making a small donation to a charity helps too. That's what I have found at least. Love your videos!
Not that I can recall, nothing more beyond the average parent of my times, as far as I know quite supportive.. sure a bit of confusion at times with how my brother and I seemed to be treated differently on things, but that might also be a warped bias
Eat 70 - 120 G protein a day , use ya body often , work it hard . Listen to uplifting music , not most mainstream garbage .Realise that you are not your passing thoughts or beliefs .Stay away from unneccessary pressure , stress is what you accept from it .
Adam I TOTALLY relate!! I think I'm even a step further down the spiral than you. I'm 54, have always lived alone, never had a partner, and spent a lot of my life unemployed, or as one 'work coach' described me 'unemployABLE'
I have my own little business now though which really really helps. I took a lot of financial risks and stretched my anxiety to the MAX during the training for my new job. It was a very long lonely scary period, I cried a lot because I was out of my comfort zone, failing, and hated the people around me because I had nothing in common with them, 30 years older for a start! My point is...my family dont ever even ASK me if I'm actually ok, and I think they don't ask because they don't really want the true answer because they won't be able to deal with it.
I've never had any emotional support from my family, growing up or now as an adult. I just plod along and pretend I'm fine, to be honest I am for the most part, because I've normalised how I feel in my head, I'm used to feeling the way I do.
I don't know what the answer is, for me I'm so lucky I can just focus on running my business, and outside work I'm just too tired to think about how I actually feel. Work also tires me out twice as much because even there I have to present that I'm an ok confident person...
Anyway, I'm with you Adam, and thank you for being honest about how you feel, and articulating it so well, and making me feel I am not alone
Thanks for being 54,I am 51 and your words give me hope,I got the feeling my salvation would come from running a bussyness and after reading your post I am 100 per cent sure about it.
Oh and Adam, we think you're a handsome guy. When we came across your video, you have this warm friendly and relatable presence with you. You're a very likable person and that's gods honest truth.
I agree. I wish he lived near me!!!
I owe my life to this battle, so I know excatly how you feel 🫂
Just don't off yourself, stay hydrated, and get adequate sleep. Please, remember that you're only human. I'm going through the same thing, and living another day is a chore. We can do this; all of us, together.
May i add, electrolytes, men's multivitamin and 5 min cold showers for dopamine
Oh Adam i wish we lived in the same area i’d walk with you on your walks everyday 😂 i’ve been where you are so watchin you start to see small progress makes me happy (for a stranger). Bro that feeling doesn’t go away but you learn to ride it out until you stabilise again. You will make it threw this. And hey you have no idea how good your videos are. Jst keep pushing and we’ll keep supporting
Thankyou, really appreciate the kindness
“Today I escaped anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions - not outside.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations.
I've been in a hole for months now, it happened randomly at work and it shot me to the ground and I ended up leaving the job because I couldn't face going back. I'm beginning to think it's autism or something related because there's no way I can have this much social anxiety. It's the consistent fear of how others perceive me, I see disgusted angry faces most of the time and leads me to feel the need to make everyone comfortable. I stopped caring years ago and it's come back stronger than ever. This channel shines a light on mental health awareness and I can see why you're starting to gain some traction here. Keep it up, I'm here to stay.
Hey Adam, I am 33 and in a similar situation to you. I want you to know that watching your videos have really helped me. They have helped me understand that I am not abnormal, and that other people are struggling, still at home, getting older, and struggling getting established in their careers. Your bravery talking about what we are all feeling inspires me. Thank you man.
Adam it hasn't been an alright week, its been an amazing week for you. This week you touched me across the internet and inspired me to give another person positive vibes and they probably did it to others to create an exponential ripple with a surface area that we can barely imagine. All the while you did it feeling 'okay'. Never forget that achievement mate! xx
second this
Thankyou.. and I will admit that opening line really got me thinking on things about how I acknowledge 'wins' in my life.. found myself asking a lot of questions.. so thank you too
I'm grateful to have your videos. Thanks for speaking with a sense of reality; I'm sure your channel will keep growing and you will find some sort of success here. Keep it up!
Remember all the support you get from the comments section, we all have a positive view on you. Try relate that with your family, they likely view you even more positively. I don't know if they have seen your vids or not, but as we have grown to appreciate you more by hearing more of your thoughts, I imagine your family would too.
Thank you for the video.
we are still here for you whatever happens dude, the waters of the mind will bring you to calm waters now and again, but you are a special soul, sometimes there is more growth in sadness that happiness, but it will be ok.
It would be nice if some of the strangers in our lives were friends we could talk to. So close yet so far. Thanks for making these videos.
Your so good at articulating all of these feelings. This is where I struggle , I feel like your words help me to make sense of my own thoughts. Thanks
Another quote that made me get over worrying about what people thought of me was as follows. It seems negative at first, but it's just matter of fact.
"You'd worry less about what people think of you, if you realized how seldom they do"
Yeah I have heard this one recently, I chuckled because of its truth
My therapist once told me that in those bad moments if you can be curious about why something has made you feel low or anxious instead of closing your mind off to it your much more likely to come to an understanding about that particular struggle. As someone who can relate with the current struggles you have going on in your life i think these videos are the epitome of that curiousness that my therapist is talking about. You are still having rough days but you accept it and try to find the answer and move on instead of wollowing and it gives me the courage to keep that daily fight up also.
One of the things misunderstood about mental health is for alot of us its a daily struggle, at times in my life it has ben easier to catagorise how many times i havent been nervous than when i was as its been a real constant. Glad your still in the battle bro.
thank you for your videos Adam, this one hit close to home. I've noticed that whenever I meet people, I avoid at all costs asking them how they are doing or about their lives and cling on to common interests. I think this is a result of what you describe here, and it's the fact that being asked the same questions in return would be so immensely uncomfortable, after so many years of not having anything good to respond with. It's saddening and exhausting. And when they do ask me, I often play pretend but forget to ask them in return, as I don't want to bring the same discomfort unto them. I think some people might see this as kind of rude or impolite, which adds another layer of difficulty in social arenas. I've become quite the shut in and I do enjoy my own company, but I certainly wish I could be more proud of the person I am and be more confident when meeting new people.
I hear you. A lot for me comes from how much do you care about the persons answer? Most will say they are fine but you might find 1 or 2 that will start to talk, this is then the battle, because you can engage with them in conversation, most people won't talk about something they don't want to share or feel comfortable with, but a lot will get talking if they feel its a 'safe' space. Sometimes offering them an ear is enough. For sure, it can also play on our own minds with our own things, but if we project that fear of how to answer the question onto others, we really do shut ourselves away, even if we don't particularly want to.
Glad you are doing okay and survived the week! You are doing great at recognizing your brain latching onto negativity, and doing something about it to keep negativity at bay. You always do your best in things, even if it is social interaction, and that is good enough. Self-care and compassion is so important. If you ever get a negative voice, ask, "Would you say that to (someone in your shoes, a loved one, a close friend)?" You are much more emotionally aware than many people, and actually want to be better/feel better, and it speaks volumes of your character.
It triggered when you were constantly abandoned by people . Gf friends n all. Those data stays in mind. Plus joblessness stress lowers confidence
You are doing a fantastic job. You are honest with your feelings, and I can tell you are trying your best. So many people are seeing a lot of good in you. Be kind to yourself. You are going to be okay, better than okay.
Just keep showing up and working on yourself, as long as you have breathe there's nothing to be afraid of.
Keep pushing Adam, it’s just a phase, like the rain it’ll pass. People are complicated and there’s far more people out there like you than you realize. Wishing you the best mate, hope you feel better soon.
One trick I learned recently that has been a revolution is when you think something is bad, you follow it with a BUT something positive. This literally rewires your brain and improves your experience.
For example:
"Ugh I'm stuck in traffic again I'm going to be late for work... but I'm so happy to have gainful employment and have these few extra minutes to myself."
"I wish the kids would go to bed I'm so tired... but I'm lucky to have such beautiful children and that I can spend a few more moments with them before bed."
Is it "lying" to yourself? Sort of, I guess... but it's really more like seeing another perspective--a positive spin--on the situation.
You got this g. I've been there and I read my way through it. Can't recommend The Power of Now and Mind Power Into the 21st Century enough. Changed my life. Peace brotha
I’ve tried reading power of now but it’s hard to grasp the words but I believe tolle is on the money saying separating your thoughts and the observer, I wish I could grasp it to fully understand but I try meditate at least
thank you for makign your videos, i relate so much with you, i hope all is well! keep it up , every video i watch of yours makes me feel a bit better knowing i'm not alone out there :D
Thanks for the video man.
sorry to hear that! just take care of you; both your mind and body; rest and meditate. If you have to rest then take a rest from social media, - social media can also be exhausting but you are doing good Adam! :)
You just put my thoughts in words honestly. Once you unknowingly let negativity get to your head everything just comes crashing down. And oh my god, I totally understand the part that you said that when negativity gets so deep into your head you start to visualize yourself in a bad light so therefore you think that people also see you in that way. Honestly I hope all of us don't have to go through this for long, 'cause oh my god I swear- 😭😂
I have that feeling a lot too. That everyone's lying and they don't actually like you. Or they like you for superficial reasons and if they knew the real you they wouldn't like you etc. Getting better over time tho i think. Just bein aware of when it arises helps I guess
Hey man, I also got diagnosed with bipolar 2 I really understand your struggle. Lithium really helped me to be more stable and gain back control over my thoughts. Most important is to get you to a point where you can build something up for yourself and gain some autonomy for yourself. Believing in a good future for yourself is literally the best antidepressant there is. I failed a lot in life aswell and I am without work at the moment aswell, but I refuse to give up my dream and my hope for the future, because I know once I do, I am already a dead man walking.
I wish you the best really!
im sending you a virtual hug. i totally feel that you are a very smart, empathic person who is able to reflect on thoughts and feelings so well. i believe it is important to just risk being honest and possibly being "too much" for others because you'd be surprised how many people actually feel the same and will start opening up once someone does it too (i mean look at the many people that subscribed to you in a short time). and it feels good to know that a lot of people know this same feeling and knowing this also makes people feel less alone. also, i cannot stress enough how wonderful the help of a good psychotherapist is! especially when dealing with mental challenges it can be so helpful to have a professional find a healthy way to deal with it. and then those huge oberwhelming feelings or negative self-talks are suddenly much less present once they are identified or why they are there (most of the time it is usually old wounds from the past). it will get better, i promise. sending much love
Sleep deprivation can really mess you up. So can dehydration. Sounds so simple but do drink a large glass of water, relax as best you can, concentrate on releasing tension throughout your body, take several deep breaths, and if you don’t fall asleep then at least you’ll be giving your body & your mind a break. It’s sometimes very difficult to turn off the brain, so gentle music or sounds of the ambient variety may help a lot. Good luck, I hope it helps.
I relate brother my mind swings and I get lows. I Just want to say stay strong and keep doing what you are doing wirh this channel ❤
I really think you are a very clever and interesting guy. I live in Europe in a beautiful country, in a wonderful house, normal life. I love nature so it has helped me when I feel sad. I don't have depression, but lately I just feel "sad". Even though I am an extremely positive person.
My mother just died so I figure it may be that. No one is ever "always" happy. I do enjoy your videos, you are very honest about what you are truly feeling. It's good to let it out, but like you say not everyone understands. Good luck in everything you got this! ❤
Thanks for the video Adam. Stay strong and keep on fighting. I know it’s tough but you have more people then you know rooting for you.
I appreciate that, thankyou
Those moments when someone asks if you're ok, you feel like screaming noooooooo! Neither do you know where to start or how to convey the enormity of the constant battle that goes on in your head like a background hum. So you just say " yep " and quickly moved along. Often the tiniest thing can trigger a downward spiral. Might even be something outward such as an argument or losing £50 out of your wallet
perfectly explained 👍
Brother. If the black dog came for you this week and you spotted it, realised what it was, and you are taking steps keeping it at bay that is a fucking top week considering the alternatives. It could of turned you bitter or spiteful and I see a thoughtful, gentle, caring gent. Forcing myself to do exercise can work for me. Makes you tired as a byproduct as well as endorphins so helps you sleep. As I say to myself and others when we get it, eat well, exercise, sleep. It’s exactly what the black dog fears and will talk to out of it. Advise yourself like you would one of us or a friend.
I hope to one day start a similar channel detailing my struggles and successes with major anxiety. One day i'll get your courage!
I wanted to say a couple of things that this video made me think of though apologies if it’s not entirely relevant to this video. Firstly, in my experience, when it comes to negative thoughts it really is like one thought opens the flood gates! I can be lying in bed unable to sleep worrying about one thing and then my mind then has me worrying about every eventuality possible, even things that may not even happen. Secondly, depression is really hard to describe in words, I was thinking about this yesterday funnily enough, words like “sad” and “unhappy”, despite being true, don’t really cut it for me. It’s more a lost, overwhelmed feeling. Or to put it another way, it’s like a net sporadically comes and suffocates you for a couple of days/weeks. Anyway, just thought I’d share that as seeing you try to articulate it all gives me that warm feeling of relatability so maybe hearing me ramble on does the same. Take care.
That way of putting it is really relatable without a doubt
Have you heard of RSD?
‘People with rejection sensitive dysphoria have an emotional reaction to negative judgments, exclusion, or criticism beyond what most people feel. It has some overlap with Social Anxiety Disorder, the two can occur together & even contribute to each other’.
You mention bipolar so I presume you are under the care of a medical professional, some people don’t like ‘labels’ but I like to think of them as signposts. They help to understand the reasons why we feel like we do & gives a good starting point to develop coping strategies from.
Interesting 🤔 I have never heard of it. Something to look into, thankyou
I think what you need to try is a new hobby, a new skill. Hope and passion, a drive. I think you should take on computer sciences, programming and delve into the emerging futuristic world of artificial intelligence. I believe a clever individual like you will find success in that.
Just a afterthought have you tried journalling. Like getting the emotions and thought patterns onto paper so you can see if a pattern or something subtly is triggering you? Good video resonates alot 👍
This is exactly how I feel. I feel like everyone hates me and I find myself being hostile and angry to others.
i am here with you! keep up the good work
I have a suspicion that often when we feel suddenly low like that it can be due to a B vitamin deficiency. Even schizophrenia which is often characterised by paranoia can be cured by one of the B vitamins apparently. I can’t remember which one atm. Try taking a multi B daily like Berocca. It might help keep those sudden low moods at bay. I think having anaesthesia for operations can increase your body’s need for those vitamins.
I have a very positive view on you. You are even brave enough to share this experience from last night. I know that there are ups and downs in all kind of development. For me it's a bit like trying to get out of the ocean. The waves coming back from the coast can be strong opposing forces. Keeping calm, swimming diagonal to the wave or dive under the wave are strategies to minimize this effect in swimming and reaching the coast nevertheless. Perhaps the negative thoughts from last night were too relateable, so that they were able to sneek in. Fighting against these kind of thoughts in a straight manner might cost a lot of energy, but mitigating the effect of these thoughts might help in knowing that in fact a lot of people like you and that you are on the best way to develop even further. If there are still people who don't like you, so be it. You are growing day by day and that's the best you can do. You will reach your goal despite all ods. :-)
Ooh thats a good one about the waves, nice way to put it actually
🙏🤗@@Add-
Listening to you talking, it's like hearing my own thoughts (except with an awesome British accent).
All I have to say is thanks for being here, and if you can hang on then maybe I can do the same.
You got this!
Hey Mate, great vid. I can defo relate to that. I'd say for me my thoughts tend to spiral towards "they can do without me" rather than "they hate me", I recon for someone to hate you at least you've had an impact 😅
I have a great therapist now, the see others knocking therapists generally for recoomending "useless" things like square breathing that don't address the root cause, but for me it's been exellent, I've realised I can't "out think" depression, my thoughts always feel "rational", whatever that means, and tend ot lead in the same direction, so I just take pause and prictice self southing excersices.
I also get that "are you ok?" line, often, or why are you nervous, or in interactions with girls, I've had them ask me "am I scary?" I find it starts with a pause, something about the moment takes my attention and I can't concentrate, I forget my words, and when I realise the other person has aknowledged the pause, the panic grows and the pause gets longer and longer.. I believe The Donald Trump calls it "choking", I'm a cronic choker. I try to laugh it off these days as best I can 😅
You have to learn that you'll never please all of the people all of the time. We all have good days and bad days. That's ok! Life is not supposed to be a walk in the park. We are dealing with it daily.
I suffered from intrusive thoughs and hand movements. What helped me was to, over a longer time, replace them with lesser versions.
I know mine came from mental stress, so I done everything I can to reduce stress.
Sleeping is like you said important, I got periods of bad sleep and periods of really good sleep. Trying to keep a schedule and removal of _any_ coffee 5 hours before bedtime has helped somewhat.
i'm not diagnosed bipolar but I have a very similar experience of highs and lows; the same things exist but the perception of how much they matter etc. changes. with the influx of viewers I imagine the paranoia abt people's perception of you etc. being very hard even w/o bipolar.
Its been tricky, but thankfully I have learnt to disconnect from online. Reality is a bit trickier though.
Cognitive behavioral therapy saved my life
I wouldn’t worry what other people think about you.
You have to realise people have their own problems, to be honest their not really interested in your problems.
That’s the truth, unfortunately it took me till 45 to realise this.
46 and still trying to internalize this wisdom. Its true. But really hard to understand.
I don’t know if you mean like you like really cannot sleep at all at night, but one thing that has worked for me is fixing your bed up making it neat, and putting on something nice to watch or listen to before sleeping
Thanks for the content, Adam!
I hope you can sort your sleep (maybe diet too?) soon, so you can feel more relaxed and less anxious ✊🥲
Just checking up on ya
I recommend the book "Feeling Good" by David Burns. It deals with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, a therapy that you might find useful with the mind reading you are doing with other people. CBT in general is helpful if you do the work. Cheers from Toronto.
I want to read this I’ve heard of it, does it work just by reading or better to go therapy?
@@FatTonyTheSkipper I would read the book first as a cheap option. It's from the creator of the CBT method of therapy so you're getting a great breakdown of it. It is a must read in my book if you do the work outlined as mentioned. I would try therapy after the book if you don't get help.
@@FatTonyTheSkipperit can work on it's own. Your therapist is probably gonna use CBT anyways
Adam are you seeking any treatment?
Would you consider therapy or counselling? This might be helpful to explore your feelings with a professional.
Listening to you talk you appear to be worried about being judged. Thats totally normal. Although, you can't read other people's minds. Be kind to yourself.
I've recently been reading about CEN (Childhood Emptional Neglect). Check out a book called 'Running on Empty'. This concept made me realise I tend to suppress my emotions because that's how i was raised.
I feel empathy for you. You come across as a cool guy. Don't be afraid of your emotions, give youself permission to feel them.
Us humans tend to think of ourselves as thought driven before emotions, but really we are feeling driven creatures that think.
How do you get diagnosed? No doctor I met could understand that or even believe me. There are some tests for that?
For sleeping I recommend taki some suplements, like vitamins - L-Tryptophan 60 minutes before sleep and then 30 minutes before sleep Melatonine
Overall daily taking vitamins that your organizm have lack of may be a good idea: I take Omega-3 Fish Oil, Zinc, B12, D3, C, magnesium, laxtobaxtillus gasseri
Also walking as you said is a good idea, but often I dont have willingness for that
We all have lacks
My diagnosis was from the gp when I was younger. Now I know some people will say something like.. ohh you are just living believing that mindset etc, but I genuinely day to day don't even think about it. Just like most I just get in with life and try and deal with whats going on in the head. But I think it would be stupid not to acknowledge it when things get really rough if that makes sense?
Though I dont have answers to why I have very low moments, undemanding that it is 'something' makes me feel that I'm not just going though something.
I dont recall how they diagnosed it if I'm honest so I can't give much more im afraid
i just feel like everyone is always watching me .. i know know one is there, i just cant feel alone, the brain is silent, idfk what i am saying
I enjoy watching you, but it would be nice if you turn off the auto CC - just a friendly suggestion :)
Thank you for sharing the journey!
おれも、毎日不安と緊張があります。対人恐怖症など、、
Brain chemistry is a bitch. But I´ve noticed that looking at things from that perspective really helps. Other thing, I´ve found that a med/drug mirtazapine really helps with sleeping.
Adam you seem like a great guy, the sort of guy that I would enjoy going for a pint with!
I know that you are probably fed up with people telling you what you "need" but have you ever tried meditation and mindfulness? It has been a game changer for me and someone else I know who suffered from depression.
I have tried a little, I found it very difficult to switch off the mind in all honesty. If you can point me in the direction of any sources, I will happily take a look tbh.
I am quite self taught in that respect but you could try reading The Power of Now. You could attend a spiritual retreat they may be able to assist.
There are some good assisted meditations on the Insight Timer app and here on TH-cam. I would definitely recommend those.
Brain hug for you
Ice baths help me
bro, carl rogers type therapy .. its a psychotherapy where you talk and your therapist mostly just listens. if you need to break down in tears thats the place. works wonders. recommended. saying that a as single man, your age, who relates to you and your feelings. if you think about it, thats what youre doing with this youtube thing anyway. you speak, internet people listen. but we are not trained to adress mental health issues.
I’ve started psychotherapy and the therapists mentioned she mainly listens, but how does that resolve my issues? If I’m just venting
@@FatTonyTheSkipper at first you might just vent, but later on you should advance to do more - sort out ideas, create narratives, make sense of each issue, put pieces in places where they belong, you might notice details you were not aware of before, etc. if done right this process puts you on the path of healing. but you have to get there by yourself.
the role of therapist is to be there with you, to listen, and witness how you discover better state of mind, without disrupting it with some stupid advice. no one can give you better advice than you can give yourself.
some people can actually approach therapy wrong. and therapy will not work for them. that doesnt mean they are doomed. there can be something else thats gonna help them.
Could you try volunteering and helping others? You sort of get a helper's high. Kind of what you are doing with your videos but in real life. Even making a small donation to a charity helps too. That's what I have found at least. Love your videos!
Adam, were any of your parents verbally or emotionally abusive to you growing up?
Not that I can recall, nothing more beyond the average parent of my times, as far as I know quite supportive.. sure a bit of confusion at times with how my brother and I seemed to be treated differently on things, but that might also be a warped bias
Eat 70 - 120 G protein a day , use ya body often , work it hard . Listen to uplifting music , not most mainstream garbage .Realise that you are not your passing thoughts or beliefs .Stay away from unneccessary pressure , stress is what you accept from it .
I don't know what it is, but I'm quite certain that you have a pathology that you need a diagnosis for
It's not hard to see how you would struggle to keep your life on track when you're getting hit by bouts of "everybody hates me"...
Do you work?
I'm out of work again, I feel like such a f**king waste.
Mate vipassana teaches you how to deal with your mind. Please at least look into before dismissing it.
This is were meditation might come in handy or some classical motzart in 432htz
Sweet nice work dude its ur subconscious mind it's a real ass hole Haha ur well aware of the thoughts to change to a positive