@@HobieInTheBox This is the female equivalent of the 'niceguy'. I bet all her friends say she's got a great personality, she's "bubbly" etc, but in reality she's a grunt. It's annoying that everyone around her just enabled her shitty behaviour as well. OP should stay well away from all of them.
As someone who os skinny and has had ppl insult me for it, i started shooting back. My sister would smack me in the tummy (which i have bad stomach issues already young) and id call her fat or special ed since she was sensitive about it. Dont attack me unless you want it back
I’m not saying you’re wrong, just that it’s worth considering that people experience judgment differently. Fat could be a necessity, fat could be a choice, but when it’s neither, it’s just something you have to live with-just like being skinny, tall, short, or any other trait people get judged for. If someone has been ridiculed for years about their body, is it truly hypocrisy for them to finally push back when provoked? Or is it just human nature to defend oneself? Respect should go both ways-no one should be forced to just take it. At the end of the day, we all deserve kindness, including ourselves. So love yourself as the one you see fit. Again, no offence - just love your comment and I added a bit of myself :)
I agree. I’m overweight, 250lbs (and I’m 5’7.5” I’m female by the way.) I do not have the right to judge anyone on their weight at all. I would never dog on someone for being skinny. I use to be skinny, back when I was in high school and the military, but sadly the meds I’m on now make it hard for me to loss weight. I have a lot of friend and family who are skinny and honestly I’m proud of them for being able to keep the weight off. Heck I have a cousin who lost a ton of weight and got skinny! I was so proud of her and tell her how good she looks when I see her. Makes her smile every time. I don’t understand people who try and tear somebody down, just because they are skinny, fat, or anything in between.
Yeah, OP's 'friend' should have stopped Amanda the FIRST time she commented on OP's weight/build. Instead, they did nothing year after year. Obviously, Amanda is jealous of OP that's why she's being a bitch. OP was a LOT nicer than I would have been. At a minimum, I would have loudly asked Amanda why she was so obsessed with my body? Why she needed to comment on me EVERY year?
And technically it’s not sharing since the dog had the name for years. She took the name knowing the dog has the name and she had months to think about it.
Birthday dinner story had a update: Hi everyone, I want to thank you all for the support and feedback on my last post. This update is mostly about a few different conversations that I had. I took your suggestions and called my dad, apologizing for leaving early. He completely understood. We talked a bit and he asked if we could go out to lunch this week because he missed seeing me, so we made plans. Then, I talked to my husband and told him that I didn’t think I could’ve stayed and still thought leaving was the best thing for us. He apologized for invalidating my feelings and said he would’ve liked for us to spend time with family but not at the cost of my mental wellbeing. He offered to call my brother (not the one who texted me) to set up a playdate for our son with his kids so my son could see some of his cousins, which I appreciated. Later, my mom called (I guess my dad told her we talked) and she apologized for taking so long to call, saying she felt ashamed and didn’t know how to talk to me. She said she wouldn’t have let Eva say that if they’d known I was there and that she didn’t mean it. Eva has been hormonal and frustrated, and my mom thought calling her out at that point would've just made things worse. She felt terrible for hurting my feelings. I thanked her for the apology but told her I needed more time before meeting her. After this, Eva texted me, and I wanted to hear her out, so I called. She apologized a lot and emphasized that she didn’t mean it and regretted saying it, attributing it to the same thing my mom had. Apparently she and BIL also had a big fight about it when they got home, which delayed her talking to me. We had a long conversation, in which she confessed that she had a few early miscarriages before they even told us she was pregnant. But she felt she had to keep smiling through it, which made her slightly resent how I was handling my situation. I told her I was hurting and keeping my distance so she could enjoy her pregnancy. She felt bad for misunderstanding and thinking I was shutting everyone out. I assured her that this wasn’t the case; I hadn’t let anyone in, and with her being pregnant, it was tough for me. I wished her luck but told her I hoped she could understand why I didn’t think I could be there with her. She was sad but agreed. We talked more, and by the end, things were better. I texted my family group chat with a long message about how I was feeling and why I would be taking space from meetups, because I feel I need it after this. While the apologies eased my mind and I can see myself forgiving them in the future, I am still hurting, and I think right now, I need to spend time with my husband and son and handle my grief with a professional. Thank you all again for reading this, and I hope this answers your questions about what happened next. Hope you all have a fantastic day!
Thank you for taking the time to update us. I always enjoy a good update, especially one like this one where everyone seems to be doing their bests to resolve the situation in constructive, thoughtful, care-about-others way.
We had a dog named Charlie, my husband brought him to his office all the time and eventually a guy named Charlie started working there. Everyone called him human Charlie.
My late piano teacher (RIP Miss Browning) literally named a couple of her cats after me and my younger brother (she called and got my approval before doing so).❤😢
Skinny story: Don’t dish it if you can’t take it, Amanda. NTA, OP. She insulted your weight, you took the wind out of her sails by taking it as a compliment and she got physical. She’s just a bully with a fragile ego.
Skinny Story: So it's okay for Amanda to insult OP constantly for being skinny but it's not okay for OP to…take an insult as a complement so she wouldn't let Amanda get to her? OP didn't even mention Amanda's weight, yet Amanda treated it like the most personal attack to ever personal attack. That's an overreaction if I've heard of one. Ah well, if she didn't want even a perceived SMIDGE of the energy thrown back at her, maybe don't insult other people for whatever weight they have. Amanda's lucky OP decided to not stoop to her level
And imagine the hurt Amanda would cause if she insulted someone who turned out to have an ED? Amanda chose OP as her lightning rod and nothing OP can do regarding her body can change that. I do hope OP presses charges.
@@lorilancaster5917 As someone with an ED, i've been on the ass end of this commentary and I didn't respond nearly as gracefully as OP (something to the effect of "Thanks, it's the disordered eating. Don't worry, you weigh enough for the both of us if you average it out, so it'll buff.") and she started to pitch a fit. Turn's out hunting ain't no fun when the rabbit's got the gun.
*Last Story:* This is why you should _never_ tell a friend or family member you have money set aside for any particular reason. Otherwise, they'll think it's for them when they need it.
Problem is I bet OPs parents spilled the beans. I hate to break it to the cousin but having a baby is a luxury these days so it’s on her to save to afford. Only regret I see OP having is not going on this trip.
Well, tbh, it would never occur to me that my cousin should just GIVE me their savings because I have an emergency I could have prevented. wtaf? It doesn't matter what OP is saving for. Cousin has zero claim to the money. I'd tell her to go find the dude that helped make the baby and get the hell out of my face!
Seriously. Even then, how is her cousin's pregnancy OP's responsibility? Where is the father? Her parents? OP's parents? Why go to OP? They can pound sand.
I don't understand why people Papa kids they can't afford and that expect everybody else in their life to accommodate that. It's not my job to pay for your lifestyle. And having children is a lifestyle. And just like I don't pay for anybody else's lifestyle. I'm not paying for your procreation lifestyle. Don't have f*cken kids if you can't f*cken afford them. The reality is there's abortion and there's adoption. If you can't afford the child. It's not everybody else's job. It's not your family, your friends, The stranger down the street, the retail worker, the cops, the paramedics, the nurses, the doctors, the teachers to raise and pay for your child. You decided to have.
10:27 if you had witnesses to the assault and they are willing to go on record I would file charges against Amanda, cause responding with physical violence for something verbal is not OK.
At the very least saying she’s considering pressing charges will help reshape the narrative, she can ask the people who saw everything if they would be okay with someone shaming them/their child for their weight repeatedly and then assaulting them/their kid for simply accepting their body as it is.
Skinny story : As a représentant of the plus size part of humanity, I can say 100% that OP's NTA and that Amanda needs Therapy. I've come to terms with my body type and am currently trying to find time to work out, but I'm also self aware and do jab at myself. What I won't do is being passive agressive to people skinnier than me, especially if they're skinnier than 'the norms'. Why would I? I dunno what's their life is, maybe they didn't chose to be skinny.
I am with you on this. I know an eating plan that will let me lose weight, and I will go on it again as soon as I have sorted out some of the drama in my life. But I will not make comments about others, especially skinny people, because one of our school friends was very skinny, and as much as some of us struggled to lose weight, she struggled to gain weight. We did at first envy her until she explained that she would have loved to pick up some weight.
I am a skinny person, tho, Im skinny because three reasons, one is that I live my childhood malnutritioned , the second is because I have sensory issues due to autism and make eating occasionally difficult and the third is also because autism,I have difficulties feeling hungry. a person can be fat for a variety of things, from a choice to illness to traumatic experience or mental health, and so is being skinny, attacking one person's weight can translate to attaking many other things related to their life; its really sad that so many people has no capacity to internalize that fact and lacks that much empathy
I find it so dumb to be expected to cater to someone who repeatedly wrongs you. I would have pissed off and looked for a new friend group at that point
It's also not body shaming to call fat people fat. It's just accurate. If you're skinny, you're skinny. If you're fat, you're fat. Coming up with sugar-coated terms like "plus sized" or "body positive" isn't helping that overweight person deal with the problem. It just helps them give up.
Story 3: K…ignoring the fact if you cant take it don’t dish it…how is it that Op was physically assaulted…and people think SHE is the bad guy… NTA Op and your friends are all hypocrites
That's exactly what I said. Amanda is lucky it wasn't someone else or she might have wound up in the hospital with that BS assault crap. OP was totally in the right and Amanda was 100% in the wrong.
exaxtly that!!!! I'm so angry hearing it! I totally understand her, beacuse I'm also a skinny person my whole life, and people kept on criticizing me for being skinny. It's so annoying! and what I've noticed is the people who kept on telling me I'm thin/skinny are the overweight people.
I litterly got this advice once. quit going out and exercising stay in watch movies and play video games this summer. I finnaly got above a healthy weight and I can't get heavier then 260 no matter what i eat . everyone's body is different. After years of being lazy at 260 I'm going to try to find a good middle ground and keep my health in check while I begin to get old. Also large people who can't lose weight I'd suggest anything in water. The resistance is good for muscles and water will lift the painful weight that you normally experience with cardio.
There is an update on story 5: long story short, op had a heart to heart with her family(father, mother, both brother ans sister), sincere apologies were given and she settle for leting her husband and son going into the family gatherings without her until she feels better
@@KazeShikamaru "These days"? What on Earth makes you think this is a new development? Humans are literally the worst at "talking things out" and have been since the dawn of time.
Sometimes "keep the peace" is reasonable. I mean, if your brother is lactose intolerant, do not make mac & cheese when he visits you, even if it's your tradition to make it on the first Sunday of the month, or something like that. But in this case... maybe, and that is a big maybe, if there was a beloved grandpa called Charles or it is family tradition to name the first son Charles AND they would come to OP with "hey, bro, I know that you called your dog Charlie, but it is something they do in this family since 1850's, so would you consider changing your dogs name, please?", it would be reasonable request. I'm not saying that OP would have to rename the dog, just saying that it would be fine to ask. But they already knew that dog, so it is their problem.
The skinny story: as a plus size gal, I try to encourage ALL types of body positivity. It doesn't matter if you're 100lbs or 300lbs, I firmly believe you deserve to be proud of your body as long as you're healthy and happy with it. Amanda was taking out her insecurities on OP just like I'm sure other skinny girls have done to her in the past,but that doesn't make it right and I cannot believe none of her "friends" ever stopped her from picking on OP. She's the kind that gives us chubby chicks a bad name and I hope she eventually finds a healthy way to cope and accept her size. I'm so sorry to OP, NOBODY deserves to be body shamed for any reason. She should absolutely cut off this "friend" group.
@threecards333 First of all, congratulations! That's amazing! Second of all, I agree. People should encourage others to get healthier (lose weight, gain weight, quit smoking), but there's a right way and a wrong way of doing so. I like how you worded it: "Help, but don't push."
@@threecards333exactly! No one knows what someone’s goals may be for their body and it’s important that it’s their goal they are following, not a goal pushed on them. Sometimes a friend of mine who is on the heavier side says they lost some weight and my first question as a healthcare worker is always, “were you trying to?” (Sometimes their attitude and facial expression answers that) And when they say yes, I congratulate them for their success and if they say no I check and make sure there are no health red flags or concerns they are having. It’s their journey and I am just here to be a support, not try and tell them where to go. Great phrase, “help, not push”! Also as a rule of thumb I never comment on someone’s appearance (never the body, just clothes/hair/makeup/accessories) unless it’s a compliment because no matter what there is always something positive I can say and the world needs more positivity.
10:08 As a plus sized person, NTA. Most of my family are plus sized/not skinny, and my parents sometimes comment on how skinny random people are. I always make a note to tell them that that's not OK, and they've vaguely stopped. Once they commented on how skinny my girlfriend was and i was so angry
I grew up being given a lot of crap for being skinny, I know what it's like. I was also petty and always dished back what was given to me, but had a bad habit of going overboard. I didn't feel bad about hurting people's feelings because their skinny comments deeply hurt me. I was struggling with being severely underweight. I'd binge food everyday hoping to at least put on even one LB. It was a constant battle and it hurt when people brought it up, losing weight was devastating because the chances of being able to gain it back were so slim. It wasn't until I was in my 20s that my doctor discovered my 'fast metabolism' was the result of my body being in cardio mode 24/7. I was burning a large amount of calories even when sleeping. My heart was at risk of working itself to death. A few medications later and I'm finally at a healthy weight. OP is far better than me, and so is her mom. OP handled it in a pretty decent way. There was class to her comment.
There is no such thing as "plus size" it's called FAT, you are FAT. Amanda is FAT. And I am also a fat pig, not "plus sized" I'm 120kg 183cm, im fat af, calling myself + size would be a lie to myself and everyone around me when they CLEARLY see im just FAT
Story 3: I love how the wife's family thinks they can keep inviting themselves to dinner, on vacations, et cetera, and that OP will just pay for it all. These people are delusional.
Story 3: this can be summed up in one sentence “ if you don’t want me at my worst, you can’t have me at my best”. They don’t get to benefit off of hard work they not only didn’t do, but constantly mocked and ridiculed for no reason other than they could.
Me too. I am so happy that rSlash started doing that again. It adds happiness to my already happy time listening to these videos. I'll say what I always think, and sometimes comment. If I were OP I'd collect the names of all of the people who contacted her to tell her to give the travel money to the cousin. Then I'd contact the cousin, cc'g all of those people and say 'good news cousin! These family members (list them here) have decided to support you. You can contact them directly to see how they will spend money to you.'
Story 1: Honestly this is ALL Op needs to say “you didn’t come to your OWN CHILD’s funeral…so why tf should i help you…?” NTA Op, karma is a bitch and so is he.
The absolute audacity to never consider OP and his family’s wellbeing but expect them to still care about the affair family when the father did nothing but give his concern to them
These "but we're family" people always seem to target a person they think they can bully into obedience and carrying the load of other people. All the while having millions of excuses why they can't pitch in at all right now, or ever.
15:46 there was another story like this where the person said I will contribute as much as everybody else contributes. And nobody contributed anything so op was off the hook.
I've noticed in a lot of stories that overweight people love to point out when someone is skinny in an insulting way but it's considered the most rudest and disgusting thing when it's reversed. For people that are all about body positivity and accepting your larger body, they sure get offended very fast
Particularly weird to comment on a near stranger EVERY time you see them. wtaf? That friend should have stepped in LONG before it got to that point and told Amanda to STFU about OP's weight.
My step-mom used to do this to me all the time. One time she even told my young brother to “Make sure that she eats a sandwich. …like a whole sandwich .”
That's because deep down, it's all cope. They know overly fat people are gross too but refuse to stop feeding their faces. It's also why they talk about medical issues when in reality very few people have such issues. It's all just a matter of stop eating so much for over 99% of them. It's one thing if you genuinely enjoy what you might look like overweight, but in that case you wouldn't take offense to any of it.
Story 4: I know that fat-shaming is more notorious, but skinny-shaming is a thing too. Would it be too much to ask for everyone to mind their own business? XP
It's literally impossible as a human being. Even the nicest person will look at someone else. Find one thing they don't like about them. And make it known. That's why people who preach tolerance are always hypocrites in the end. 😊
@@ZaxTax-h8t cause is better being an hypocrite that going around hurting people? also because while is true we all have our mean thoughts, not everyone obsess over them and try to rule other people lives. as I heard in a psychology chanel, every human is a bit of a narcissist, we all selfish, but not everyone is a full one, there are limits
@@ZaxTax-h8t ok, I just notice that I misread one bit if your comment, sorry....I thought your were making a question "why preach tolerance when we all hycocrites at the end" thats what I read.....ugggg, why my brain skips words? sorry for the confusion, I can see why my resulting comment is sort of annoying
On the weight one, op shouldve just called her out. "Stop making comments on my body because you're insecure." Also, press charges. She needs to learn we're in the real world and actions have consequences. It's not op punishing her, it's her punishing her. People who do that don't think "and now ill never do it again". She will overreact and slap more people until she has consequences.
The absolute audacity to body shame someone and when that person only goes, "i actually like my body", to then physically attack that person cause, what? They didnt respond equally as insensitive, rude or pointless as they had? Gtfo, Amanda was trying to start shit and if she didnt want to be 'fat shamed' then maybe dont comment on others bodies Smh
This is why I don't like the movement anymore. It's nice to have body positivity (when you're a healthy weight) but it's not right to get angry at a skinny person and call it a "privilege"
@@hollytheanimalcrossingfan tbh i dont interact with the bodyposi community because it seems like it's ONLY focused on "fat is beautiful" and it feels *so* much like people are saying that you have to be beautiful to have any value. the version of body positivity *I* practice is looking in the mirror at my fat body and my ugly face that looks like someone put pubes on a thumb and going "yep, that's my body. i live here. i don't hate it. i take care of it the best i can. wish it wasn't falling apart tho." and I feel like *that's* more important than everyone being beautiful. someone's gotta be the ugliest person in the room, and honestly? i don't mind that it's usually me. my meat jaegar is ugly but the weirdo piloting it is a DELIGHT, and anyone who doesn't want to learn the second part because they're put off by the first is missing out. *That's* the kind of body positivity that the movement should be about. It's okay to be fat. It's okay to be skinny. It's okay to be ugly. It's okay to be pretty. Being fat doesn't mean you're ugly. Being ugly doesn't make you less of a person. Let people live their lives in their own bodies because there's a lot of stuff you can't change about the meat suit you were given at birth.
I mean....I adopted a 2.5 yr old dog who's name had been Eber Bear (yes, Eber) and I renamed him Gus. It didn't take long for him to learn his new name and respond to it. But the sister shouldn't have named her kid after the dog. Thats the real issue here. Not retraining the dog.
Story 3: Reminds me of the fable "The Little Red Hen". They didn't want to support during the process, but now that the work's done they want a part of the profit?
Story 1. Yes his other kids are innocent, but so was OP and the sister. A man who couldn't be bothered to attend one of his children's funerals has no moral high ground to stand on about doing what's best for his other children. It isn't fair, but children often suffer the consequences of their parents' actions and unfortunately all of this man's children are going to deal with hardship because of his selfish, unfeeling character.
Yeah, that dude has a true audacity! Makes me think his desire to 'reconcile' was purely an effort to recruit OP to look after the family he gives a damn about.
It’s not like it’s your fault, don’t hate it. Everyone around you will know it’s not your fault. I’m sure you’re gorgeous, even with extra weight ❤️ health related weight gain happens to people everyday. Even people like Selena Gomez. It’s totally normal
It’s a lot of hard work to work around health issues and it’s made even harder when it results in weight gain/loss because of how it’s changes your perception of yourself whether you want it to or not. I wish you the best of luck on your health journey and hope that you find great success and support no matter what! Also, I hope you find comfort in your body no matter what size because it’s yours and you deserve to feel proud of that!
Story 4: NTA and anyone claiming OP was in the wrong is trash. Amanda picked the fight and OP knocked her the fuvv out. OP's friend's "it's different" line is worthless. She's not a friend and OP needs to close the book on that relationship.
@@lorilancaster5917He is fully free as a human (I use that term very loosely) to abandon his family. But with that comes their lack of respect, love, and duty to him.
@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012Oh no, a deadbeat cheater and his affair partner doesn't like him... Anyway 😂 Unless you mean the "dad", he definitely made his bed and he can sleep in it
2nd story - Emilie was unable to listen with understanding. 4th story - Amanda has a problem. And yes, OP commented *on her own body* , not Amanda's. That was a perfect deflection, and a perfect idea to expose Amanda from OP's mum.
The "Thanks I like being skinny" being considered an insult to the overweight friend gives the same energy of that Twitter meme of "I like waffles" "Wow I can't believe you said you hate pancakes"
*First OP:* Just from the first few sentences alone, OP is NTA. Sheesh. I do feel bad for the other kids, though. *Second OP:* When pulling the Sibling Seniority card goes wrong. Why would Emily name her son that knowing full well OP already gave her dog that name? OP is NTA. *Third OP:* OP is completely justified in not paying for his in-laws after they'd spoken badly about him. OP is NTA. Shoutout to his wife for having back. That doesn't always happen in these stories. *Fourth OP:* As a plus-size woman, OP (and her mom) did the right thing. Just because her size is socially acceptable doesn't mean anyone has the right to insult her looks. And it _certainly_ doesn't give Amanda the right to slap OP. OP is NTA. This is why I am not part of _that_ community. *Fifth OP:* I can understand Eva's frustration, but it just because OP wasn't the first person to experience such a tragedy, and just because it wasn't her first child, doesn't make what she was going through any less traumatic. OP is NTA. *Sixth OP:* All together now: "Okay, then why don't YOU do it?!" Why can't the other family members help with OP's cousin's pregnancy? Failure to plan on the cousin's part does not constitute an emergency on OP's end. OP is NTA.
@alainastone7840 I named a character Indiana. She was an apathetic teen dying of the first wave of coronavirus. She eventually survived, but had to be on life support for months.
the birthday dinner story: my mom had three kids already and was pregnant with the fourth when she miscarried, its been ~15 years and it still affects her. it doesn't matter if you already have kids or not, a loss is a loss.
Story 1:If OP chooses to speak to the sperm donor, he should just say something like "I'll do everything you did for me." Which is absolutely zilch, blows my mind this p.o.s. has the NERVE to come around asking for support after abandoning OP, his sister and Mom. Not to mention not going to the funeral of his own daughter. Glad that Grandparents figured out how to make sure OP gets everything and p.o.s. and affair family don't get a single cent.
A guy in my hometown had a tendency to have too much to drink and lay hands on his wife in anger. His parents disowned him, and opened their home and their hearts to their DIL and grandkids.
Miscarriage: Imagine being so heartless that you insult someone for dealing with trauma in their own way, even though you experienced the same trauma and already worked through it long ago.
I don’t give a fuck how angry you are, you don’t say things like that to a person. It’s very obvious that Ava doesn’t feel bad because she didn’t want OP to hear. That way she didn’t have to deal with the consequences of being a bitch. Everyone keeps saying she should talk to Ava, but if you can make fun of a woman’s dead child, you can’t be reasoned with.
As a skinny boy who spent decades being told I was too thin, needed to eat more, blah, blah, blah, it shits me no end when it's perceived as fine for fat bastards to criticise me, but god forbid I dare make a comment about them being overweight. The double standard is bullshit.
I'm fat/overweight due to Lupus & medication, I used to be regular sized/on the thinner side. I despise being fat, BUT 1) it's no one else's issue that I'm overweight & 2) you just don't comment on ANYONES body, EVER. If you wanna tell someone how nice they look, that's fine, but it doesn't need to be centered around their weight. Any "fat bastard" who comments on ur weight, you should say something like "I don't comment on ur body I'd appreciate that you don't comment, or shame me, for mine. You know nothing about me,my life or my health" make the fuckers think it's coz ur sick lol that'll make them feel like an asshole 🤣
I got the same type as comments when I was a skinny teen (girl). I expecially hated when people would grab my wrist and comment about how easily they could have their fingers touch while holding them.
As someone plus sized, I see no reason to call someone skinny or comment on their weight. Bc I feel like that would just open a door for ppl to be mean to me, so I can just keep my mouth shut and let people be what they are.
The Last Story I was literally thinking why can't the family do it then rslash said it. Why does it have to fall on OP! She worked for so long and gave up so much so she can follow her dream. People can be so greedy when anything can happen to them and expect OTHERS to bail them out SMH
There is an order regarding who should be providing for a baby. 1. The babies parents 2. The babies grandparents 3. Friends of the parents to be 4. Future aunts and uncles While no one other than the parents are obligated to help, help from a cousin is low if at all on the list
@@lorilancaster5917 Right!!! It reminds me of the time I had graduated high school and my dad wanted to take me to Florida for two weeks as a present, I told him that i would pay for our activities to take some of the expense off of him. My greedy sister found out and demanded for him to take her instead of me. I reminded her that Dad had taken her to Kentucky for her graduation present years before and she just sulked like a toddler before my dad and I went on our two week vacation
@@lorilancaster5917 she has done much more over the years it makes my blood boil but as my grandfather told " Leave those who taint your kindness behind and open the doors to those who recognize"
Every time I go on those subreddits it's almost impossible to find an actual story, just people sending screenshots of texts, occasionally with context.
Weight story, I'd just reply with, "Even if I was insensitive, which isn't fair since I've been taking this for some time, she's lucky I'm not pressing charges for assault, I will not be apologizing for finally standing up for myself." *edit* How has this whole video been about gaslit people thinking, wrongly, that they're the ahole, kind of makes ya feel for a person ya know?
My cousins name is Eiko, he was a preteen at the time I think. When we got our new hunting dog years ago his name was also Eiko (he was already trained and came with the name) and you know what? NO ONE CARED! We made the occasional jokes at family fuctions when both cousin and dog were present, laughed when someone said "Eiko, sit!" to the dog. But beside that, no one cared! Why should anyone care? My cousin liked the dog too. Eiko was great. Human Eiko too^^
Story 2: I love how OP's sister willingly chose to name her son Charlie knowing it had been her dog's name for years and then whines to OP about how it'll be weird to have a child named after a dog. Then... Maybe you shouldn't have named your Charlie knowing it was already OP's dog's name? The fact that you chose that name for your child knowing this is _your_ problem, not OP's. Story 4: We all know that Amanda only attacked OP because OP didn't let Amanda get to her. Typical insecure bully behavior; "If I can't hurt you mentally and emotionally, I'll hurt you physically" instead
Charlie: Gotta wonder how OP's sister is going to react when OP is has to explain to her nephew that she was calling her dog Charlie, that he was named after. "Why is your dog named after me?" "He's not, you're named after him."
@@ChiditheLitleo667 Overall, the story reminds me of how one family member will give their child a name that they knew OP was planning to use, then calling OP the AH because of the drama caused. Even if OP was to rename their pet, the nephew would eventually learn of the situation feel that they were named after OP's dog, and that OP was bullied after or didn't want to "honor" him, thus why OP changed the dog's name. Either way would look bad.
I got made fun of for being skinny when I was younger. People would call me anorexic and tell me to eat. I ate a lot when I could, but I was also poor and food insecure. OP is definitely not the AH. body positivity is supposed to go both ways. You cant be mad at someone for loving themselves. That karen needs therapy, or maybe to be charged with assult.
I'm of a certain weight. I won't say fat or skinny. But other people's personal opinions regarding my weight mean all of absolutely NOTHING to me. Because I ACTUALLY have confidence. If this woman actually IS secure and feeling hot and sexy in being fat, then other people's bodyweight and their opunions about hers should be utterly irrelevant. To shame others for their appearance is cringe, bully cope on her part, and NOT OKAY. Mocking someone's skinniness, like jeering at someone's fatness, is bully behavior and not at all constructive, helpful criticism. The fact that she feels the need to tear others down tells us all we need to know about her confidence and motivation.
I had a dog named Charlie for 12 years, I called him Charles. I had to put him down January 13 because his cancer came back. All my animals have human names. Including my other dog named Emily.
9:59 my mental health is why I'm skinny. Any time someone makes a sideways comment about me being skinny i look them dead in their soul and say "yeah my brain tried to starve me to death in 2019 and I'm still recovering." No one ever has a good reply aside from an immediate apology
Dam right. That’s why (repeat it with me) “we don’t make unsolicited comments on other people’s bodies”! We never know why someone is the way they are and if we know why we don’t always know how they feel about it. There is so much else going on in life, why do people feel the need to bring up someone’s body?! Like either say nothing or talk about the weather if you have nothing going on.
Second story: I’ve worked in the doggie daycare/ vet field for over 10 years, I’m sorry to break it to OP’s sister but her son shares his name with about 1 million other dogs. I would have to say that Charlie might be in the top 5 dog names.
I’ve struggled with anorexia for over 10 years. My ‘body positive’ aunt told me I’d be healthier being overweight and that I’m killing myself slowly. I told her I’d rather die from anorexia than morbid obesity and it would be too much effort to become fat. She hasn’t spoken to me in 2 years. 😂😭
4:15 my family had this, we nicknamed the dog “charliedog” dog still heard its name and had no problems and us a kids didn’t get confused over who was who
Our Shepherd-Elkhound mix actually learned to recognize the spelling of both the word O-U-T and of our local convenience store. (S-T-E-W-A-R-T-S meant a ride and treats.) Before she passed away she was starting to figure out what "remove the canid to the exterior of the dwelling" meant.
As a skinny girl, I feel OP's pain. But she failed to speak up, as I always did. You have to say, "Please stop body-shaming me. It's hurtful." If they insist it's not insulting, then flip it. Once their own comments are directed at them, they might find some empathy.
I have been both 130kg and 59kg wich made me look absolutely tiny. It's not ok to shame either. The woman who slapped op is in the wrong. Op was just finally defending herself in a way that did NOT insult anybody else's body unlike that bword. I'm now healthily between and can confirm all sizes get bullying.
Skinny OP: I have been fat my entire life, like double my prescribed body weight, and it took me a lot of therapy to not be hair-trigger sensitive about it. This OP did absolutely nothing wrong. Could she have been more sensitive? Maybe, but she was under absolutely no obligation to consider the feelings of someone who has ignored hers for YEARS. Also, she's right, she didn't say anything about Amanda's body, all she did was assert that the trait that Amanda was trying to exploit had no power over her. TBH, OP is already being a whole lot kinder than I would have been, because I'd have either hit her back or pressed charges for assault... maybe both.
I’ve always been sensitive about how my body looked, when I was super skinny AND when my metabolism finally settled and I gained a bunch of weight because my appetite didn’t lessen to match my slower metabolism. I am finally starting to just accept my body and every time someone opens their mouth to make an unsolicited comment (positive or negative ) it sets me back a bit in that journey. I don’t mind people compliment my clothes or hair because those are things I can control but sometimes even compliments about my body/size feel off. And I say this as someone whose bmi classifies as overweight/normal depending on the day. I can’t imagine how someone else would feel if they have a weight that “society” has been picking on for decades. That’s why it’s just not OK to make unsolicited comments on someone’s body (honestly imo, even if you think it’s positive tread very carefully with friends and just don’t do it with strangers/acquaintances). I am so glad you seem to be in a better place on your journey and that therapy has helped you feel more in control! I wish you the best! (And I ugly snorted when you said you would hit back as I totally agree! Don’t start a physical fight unless you’re able to handle retaliation)
Story 1: OP, his mom, and sis were all innocent in this too, but he didn’t care then, for several years. So why is he upset or even surprise the child he abandoned does not care about him or the family he left them for? And once again, OP refusing to help is not a punishment, it’s nothing, and yeah, it’s a lot better than what he gave his son and daughter. Something most people truly don’t understand is that too late can come before death. Although this case is a little different because too late was when this man didn’t give a damn about his daughter dying.
Story 2: While I occasionally disagree with rSlash I am always happy when we have the same ideas for petty revenge. Also OPs Sister is insane. If you didn't want your Dog to share a name with a dog, then she should not have named her kid after a dog!
13:42, ummm “out of anger” ? Why is someone angry that your taking time to heal from a miscarriage? That’s when you need a to be the most supportive and least angry at someone… that comment was so unhinged and out of pocket, if anyone in my family said that about me or anyone I’d be leaving immediately and cutting contact.. not to mention that the sister should be the most understanding of how o.p. Feels, because while it’s not exactly the same, struggling with infertility and having a miscarriage are similar in the sense that yous both are grieving lost children, wtf…
As a fellow overweight woman I would say to that person that while the world can treat overweight people like we are not worth as much, you are not gaining any status by projecting that same attitude onto skinny people. Slender people aren't this one hive mind out to get us and you can't be an arsehole to a skinny individual who's done you no harm because you think that person represents the kind of people who gave you a hard time in the past. It doesn't make you special, this isn't the "gotcha" you think it is. Also, OP didn't even insult her? She didn't respond with a mean-spirited comment about her weight (though I honestly wouldn't have blamed her if she had) she just decided to declare that she loved her body as it was. The nutjob in that story doesn't seem to realize you can love the way you look without hating people who don't. I personally can't stand professional victims who can't take what they dish out.
i'm very skinny and i used to be underweight due to depression. People constantly commented on how i am just "skin and bones", it was so frustrating because i couldn't really change it. i couldn't force myself to eat and so i couldn't gain weight. i felt ashamed of how i looked and whenever someone saw me eating they acted like i never ate at all. I had people that were able to help me eat more, but those are people i asked for help. So i just recommend not commenting on someones weight and eating habits, unless you know them really well.
💯 I am so glad you have people supporting you in helpful ways! Lack of appetite is a pretty horrible feeling and it is so much more difficult to navigate than people seem to understand. As a teen I was very skinny due to my metabolism just being crazy high and compensating for growing to 5’11” by the time I was 12. I absolutely hated how some girls would act so “concerned” over how much I ate because I ate plenty. It got to the point where I swear they were on the verge of an “intervention”. It was crazy insulting how they thought they knew my body better than me. You are absolutely right in that only people that you ask for help from should ever comment on how/what you eat. I’m dealing with appetite issues myself now and sadly the only things I can bring myself to eat consistently are usually pretty lacking in the health category but it’s either that or I don’t eat and I know I need to eat. I’m just glad that my metabolism slowed down and I have some extra fat now to compensate for my lack of appetite so I have some time to try and find a solution before I do too much damage to myself. I wish you the best of luck on your health journey and just know that you have value no matter how you look or how your health is doing ❤
@rebeccajesse4604 i also wish you best of luck on your health journey. ❤ I also still have some appetite issues but found ways to handle it better and while i still have days where i eat almost nothing, i am improving I hope you find ways that work for you too
S1: Wow OP’s father is a monster. He only reached out because of his cancer but he didn’t even show up to OP’s sister’s funeral. I can’t believe that he is trying to get you to take care of his other family so no 1000% not the bad person. S2: What the *BEEP* OP’s sister expects them to change the name of their dog when OP named their dog before the kid even was a thing so not the bad person. S3: Wow they expect OP to continue to take care of them when they kept talking bad about him. Wow it doesn’t help that the family is constantly lashing out at you so not the bad person. S4: It depends on the situation but when her other friend friends constantly poke fun at OP’s weight. It’s not any kind of phobia or rudeness when she is constantly having her weight made fun of and when she slapped OP wow, not the bad person. S5: I’m sorry that had a major loss but when your sister basically kinda pokes fun or made light of a major loss WOW OP’s sister is the bad person not OP. FINAL: It’s not up to OP to take care of her cousin’s kid. She is the one who is pregnant not OP and if the family thinks she needs money then why don’t they help hmmmm
Story 1: tell him you'll be just as present for them as he was for your little sister when SHE was sick and needed her father. Story 3: I'm skinny and although it's socially more acceptable, I get called "sickly" and all sorts of things all the time. It's exhausting and annoying. Like yeah, I'm skinny, I get it. But it's not my problem you're secure about YOUR weight
If someone gets confused whether they’re talking about a dog or a baby then that person has greater things to worry about, so that argument goes out the window.
I respectfully disagree. I would say "You are always justified for pressing charges." However, just because you can do something doesn't mean you should do something. I would carefully look at the potential consequences of pressing charges first. Every action you take (or don't take), every word you speak (or don't speak) has consequences. The results spread out from you like ripples in a pond. And just like the pond ripples, they bounce off things and reflect back to the source.
@@MarkStockman-b4j Jabba pulled a Will Smiff and slapped The Opie right in the mouf. All for what's ultimately *thanking* Jabba for the comment she made? Naw, talk to the cops...
My wife was once slapped by a "friend" for a perceived insult which, like OP and Amanda, wasn't actually an insult. The woman who slapped my wife got a broken nose Charges were not filed because the police said my wife's action was a reasonable response to an assault. Nobody ever tried slapping my wife again.
Story 3: NTA. As many stories go which is related to money, your money, your rules. Whether they are nice to you or not, you aren't obligated to give them anything. They talk down to you? Then good! You have even more of a reason to not give them a single cent.
Sadly, roughly half the human population believes that it's "greedy and selfish" to want to keep the fruits of your own labor, but morally justified to demand the fruits of others' labor without offering a voluntary exchange of value for value. That belief is more dangerous to humanity than either nuclear weapons or climate change. It's as simple as the difference between "You have an apple tree, and I don't, so I deserve apples" and "Hey, if I pick up your apples as they fall so they don't rot, and keep your yard raked until snow flies, will you pay me with a share of the apples?"
First story: "My family is innocent!" Well the kids are, but the affair partner wife certainly isn't. Also the kids will still have a mom, she can take care of them.
Skinny story cracks me up. The constant sneering remarks about OPs appearance were already indicative of either a fixation or envy - and the reflex to slap her when all she did was remark that she was happy to be the thing the other girl was sneering at her for?? LOLOLOLOL that girl’s got problems. It’s a pity everyone around OP has internalised ‘don’t be anti-fat’ to the point where it overrides ‘don’t dish it out if you can’t take it’.
Growing up, I had a very similar name to my uncles dog. it was literally never an issue. It actually became a fun joke. They would call the dog, and I'd come running too. We were besties lol
As a person who has been thin my entire life, even after 3 babies, it is so uncomfortable when people comment on my body. Like, if I say thank you, will they think I'm self-absorbed.
She's been insulting OP's body for years but can't cope when OP actually loves herself?
@unicorn1655 you can tell the girl absolutely hates herself, which is sad but no excuse to harass other people and take it out on them.
@@HobieInTheBox This is the female equivalent of the 'niceguy'. I bet all her friends say she's got a great personality, she's "bubbly" etc, but in reality she's a grunt. It's annoying that everyone around her just enabled her shitty behaviour as well. OP should stay well away from all of them.
@@alliedatheistalliance6776
Absolutely this
As someone who os skinny and has had ppl insult me for it, i started shooting back. My sister would smack me in the tummy (which i have bad stomach issues already young) and id call her fat or special ed since she was sensitive about it. Dont attack me unless you want it back
@@HobieInTheBoxIt’s not sad it’s pathetic, what an unhinged weirdo.
Story 4: it’s weird how everyone gave Op dirty looks when Op literally did nothing but take what Amanda said as a compliment.
Especially since she assaulted her.
"but you're supposed to coddle Amanda!"
It seems like her ex best friend has made a new group of friends exclusively out of judgmental catty a-holes.
I'm fat. I can not comment on other people being skinny and not expect them to comment on me being fat. That would be hypocrisy.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, just that it’s worth considering that people experience judgment differently. Fat could be a necessity, fat could be a choice, but when it’s neither, it’s just something you have to live with-just like being skinny, tall, short, or any other trait people get judged for. If someone has been ridiculed for years about their body, is it truly hypocrisy for them to finally push back when provoked? Or is it just human nature to defend oneself? Respect should go both ways-no one should be forced to just take it. At the end of the day, we all deserve kindness, including ourselves. So love yourself as the one you see fit. Again, no offence - just love your comment and I added a bit of myself :)
I agree. I’m overweight, 250lbs (and I’m 5’7.5” I’m female by the way.) I do not have the right to judge anyone on their weight at all. I would never dog on someone for being skinny. I use to be skinny, back when I was in high school and the military, but sadly the meds I’m on now make it hard for me to loss weight. I have a lot of friend and family who are skinny and honestly I’m proud of them for being able to keep the weight off. Heck I have a cousin who lost a ton of weight and got skinny! I was so proud of her and tell her how good she looks when I see her. Makes her smile every time. I don’t understand people who try and tear somebody down, just because they are skinny, fat, or anything in between.
I agree. Amanda's problem is that she uses her weight as an excuse for her asshole behaviour. If you can't take it, don't give it.
@@actepukcyea, it's hypocrisy. Their circumstances change nothing. Next question.
Yeah, OP's 'friend' should have stopped Amanda the FIRST time she commented on OP's weight/build. Instead, they did nothing year after year. Obviously, Amanda is jealous of OP that's why she's being a bitch. OP was a LOT nicer than I would have been. At a minimum, I would have loudly asked Amanda why she was so obsessed with my body? Why she needed to comment on me EVERY year?
"It's not fair for my son to share a name with a dog"
OP should have retorted with "Well, it's not fair for my dog to share a name with a human."
And technically it’s not sharing since the dog had the name for years. She took the name knowing the dog has the name and she had months to think about it.
The correct answer is "Well, you should have chosen a different name."
make it better that "human" by calling "Karen Spawn" 😂
They shouldn’t have named their kid after a dog if they didn’t want their kid to have the same name as the dog
That was so odd. Why chose that name... if you were at all worried about it?
Birthday dinner story had a update:
Hi everyone, I want to thank you all for the support and feedback on my last post. This update is mostly about a few different conversations that I had.
I took your suggestions and called my dad, apologizing for leaving early. He completely understood. We talked a bit and he asked if we could go out to lunch this week because he missed seeing me, so we made plans.
Then, I talked to my husband and told him that I didn’t think I could’ve stayed and still thought leaving was the best thing for us. He apologized for invalidating my feelings and said he would’ve liked for us to spend time with family but not at the cost of my mental wellbeing. He offered to call my brother (not the one who texted me) to set up a playdate for our son with his kids so my son could see some of his cousins, which I appreciated.
Later, my mom called (I guess my dad told her we talked) and she apologized for taking so long to call, saying she felt ashamed and didn’t know how to talk to me. She said she wouldn’t have let Eva say that if they’d known I was there and that she didn’t mean it. Eva has been hormonal and frustrated, and my mom thought calling her out at that point would've just made things worse. She felt terrible for hurting my feelings. I thanked her for the apology but told her I needed more time before meeting her.
After this, Eva texted me, and I wanted to hear her out, so I called. She apologized a lot and emphasized that she didn’t mean it and regretted saying it, attributing it to the same thing my mom had. Apparently she and BIL also had a big fight about it when they got home, which delayed her talking to me.
We had a long conversation, in which she confessed that she had a few early miscarriages before they even told us she was pregnant. But she felt she had to keep smiling through it, which made her slightly resent how I was handling my situation. I told her I was hurting and keeping my distance so she could enjoy her pregnancy. She felt bad for misunderstanding and thinking I was shutting everyone out. I assured her that this wasn’t the case; I hadn’t let anyone in, and with her being pregnant, it was tough for me. I wished her luck but told her I hoped she could understand why I didn’t think I could be there with her. She was sad but agreed.
We talked more, and by the end, things were better. I texted my family group chat with a long message about how I was feeling and why I would be taking space from meetups, because I feel I need it after this. While the apologies eased my mind and I can see myself forgiving them in the future, I am still hurting, and I think right now, I need to spend time with my husband and son and handle my grief with a professional.
Thank you all again for reading this, and I hope this answers your questions about what happened next. Hope you all have a fantastic day!
Thank you for the update
Thank you for taking the time to update us.
I always enjoy a good update, especially one like this one where everyone seems to be doing their bests to resolve the situation in constructive, thoughtful, care-about-others way.
Thanks for posting the update! Glad to read things are better.
That’s such a great update!! Thanks for posting!
We had a dog named Charlie, my husband brought him to his office all the time and eventually a guy named Charlie started working there. Everyone called him human Charlie.
Not like Charlie is a rare name - Charlie Brown, Charlie Chaplin, Charlie Company, everyone in Vietnam fighting the US...
@@chezsnailez Charlie Bucket for the kids who read.
...my grandmother named my sister Ashley. A few years later, my grandma got a dog named Ashley. All was fine. The end
Yeah, the whole “I own this name!” BS just proves how ludicrously immature some people are.
Huh, it’s almost like two living beings can have the same name🤔someone should really tell that lady this.
"Are you Theeee Alice?"
My late piano teacher (RIP Miss Browning) literally named a couple of her cats after me and my younger brother (she called and got my approval before doing so).❤😢
@@whitneybennett4857 That's super cute
Skinny story: Don’t dish it if you can’t take it, Amanda. NTA, OP. She insulted your weight, you took the wind out of her sails by taking it as a compliment and she got physical. She’s just a bully with a fragile ego.
Damn…you would think she would’ve taken it a lot better considering she’s probably taken a lot of dishes in her life.
LOL @@MegaMyown
@@MegaMyown apparently the dish OP bring out are too SPICY for the fatazz to eat
@@MegaMyown Damn you. I just spit my coffee out.
@MegaMyown pfff, I'm plus sized and I don't take Amanda as one of our own
Skinny Story: So it's okay for Amanda to insult OP constantly for being skinny but it's not okay for OP to…take an insult as a complement so she wouldn't let Amanda get to her?
OP didn't even mention Amanda's weight, yet Amanda treated it like the most personal attack to ever personal attack. That's an overreaction if I've heard of one.
Ah well, if she didn't want even a perceived SMIDGE of the energy thrown back at her, maybe don't insult other people for whatever weight they have. Amanda's lucky OP decided to not stoop to her level
Don't dish out what you can't take.
And imagine the hurt Amanda would cause if she insulted someone who turned out to have an ED? Amanda chose OP as her lightning rod and nothing OP can do regarding her body can change that. I do hope OP presses charges.
"People poke fun, an' that's all right, but when I start pokin' back, they get all uptight." -Kid Rock
@@lorilancaster5917 As someone with an ED, i've been on the ass end of this commentary and I didn't respond nearly as gracefully as OP (something to the effect of "Thanks, it's the disordered eating. Don't worry, you weigh enough for the both of us if you average it out, so it'll buff.") and she started to pitch a fit. Turn's out hunting ain't no fun when the rabbit's got the gun.
Amanda's lucky that OP didn't press assault charges, because legally she could have.
Sometimes I feel like I’m in a Dora the Explorer episode yelling THEN WHY DON’T YOU DO IT at my screen with RSlash
Same!
right?!
Good to know it's not just me! 😂
I just did the same, WHY DON'T YOU DO IT!!!! and slap hand on desk! 😂 The audacity of them!!
Too accurate
*Last Story:* This is why you should _never_ tell a friend or family member you have money set aside for any particular reason. Otherwise, they'll think it's for them when they need it.
Problem is I bet OPs parents spilled the beans. I hate to break it to the cousin but having a baby is a luxury these days so it’s on her to save to afford. Only regret I see OP having is not going on this trip.
RIGHT!!!!
Well, tbh, it would never occur to me that my cousin should just GIVE me their savings because I have an emergency I could have prevented. wtaf? It doesn't matter what OP is saving for. Cousin has zero claim to the money. I'd tell her to go find the dude that helped make the baby and get the hell out of my face!
Seriously. Even then, how is her cousin's pregnancy OP's responsibility? Where is the father? Her parents? OP's parents? Why go to OP? They can pound sand.
I don't understand why people Papa kids they can't afford and that expect everybody else in their life to accommodate that. It's not my job to pay for your lifestyle. And having children is a lifestyle. And just like I don't pay for anybody else's lifestyle. I'm not paying for your procreation lifestyle. Don't have f*cken kids if you can't f*cken afford them. The reality is there's abortion and there's adoption. If you can't afford the child. It's not everybody else's job. It's not your family, your friends, The stranger down the street, the retail worker, the cops, the paramedics, the nurses, the doctors, the teachers to raise and pay for your child. You decided to have.
10:27 if you had witnesses to the assault and they are willing to go on record I would file charges against Amanda, cause responding with physical violence for something verbal is not OK.
At the very least saying she’s considering pressing charges will help reshape the narrative, she can ask the people who saw everything if they would be okay with someone shaming them/their child for their weight repeatedly and then assaulting them/their kid for simply accepting their body as it is.
Skinny story : As a représentant of the plus size part of humanity, I can say 100% that OP's NTA and that Amanda needs Therapy.
I've come to terms with my body type and am currently trying to find time to work out, but I'm also self aware and do jab at myself.
What I won't do is being passive agressive to people skinnier than me, especially if they're skinnier than 'the norms'. Why would I? I dunno what's their life is, maybe they didn't chose to be skinny.
I am with you on this. I know an eating plan that will let me lose weight, and I will go on it again as soon as I have sorted out some of the drama in my life. But I will not make comments about others, especially skinny people, because one of our school friends was very skinny, and as much as some of us struggled to lose weight, she struggled to gain weight. We did at first envy her until she explained that she would have loved to pick up some weight.
I am a skinny person, tho, Im skinny because three reasons, one is that I live my childhood malnutritioned , the second is because I have sensory issues due to autism and make eating occasionally difficult and the third is also because autism,I have difficulties feeling hungry.
a person can be fat for a variety of things, from a choice to illness to traumatic experience or mental health, and so is being skinny, attacking one person's weight can translate to attaking many other things related to their life; its really sad that so many people has no capacity to internalize that fact and lacks that much empathy
I had the same thought. Also, it's just weird to obsess over someone else this way.
I find it so dumb to be expected to cater to someone who repeatedly wrongs you. I would have pissed off and looked for a new friend group at that point
THANK YOU. no matter what size, nobody should ever bully someone else over it
Body shaming is body shaming. Doesn’t matter what body is being shamed. 🤷♀️
⬆️ *THIS* ⬆️
It's also not body shaming to call fat people fat. It's just accurate. If you're skinny, you're skinny. If you're fat, you're fat. Coming up with sugar-coated terms like "plus sized" or "body positive" isn't helping that overweight person deal with the problem. It just helps them give up.
@@adamb89 there are people that are claiming their self to be plus size when they’re suffering from obesity.
Yeah, Amanda was waving her own insecurity/jealousy like a massive red flag. LOL
This!
Story 3: K…ignoring the fact if you cant take it don’t dish it…how is it that Op was physically assaulted…and people think SHE is the bad guy…
NTA Op and your friends are all hypocrites
That's exactly what I said. Amanda is lucky it wasn't someone else or she might have wound up in the hospital with that BS assault crap. OP was totally in the right and Amanda was 100% in the wrong.
exaxtly that!!!! I'm so angry hearing it! I totally understand her, beacuse I'm also a skinny person my whole life, and people kept on criticizing me for being skinny. It's so annoying! and what I've noticed is the people who kept on telling me I'm thin/skinny are the overweight people.
I litterly got this advice once. quit going out and exercising stay in watch movies and play video games this summer. I finnaly got above a healthy weight and I can't get heavier then 260 no matter what i eat . everyone's body is different. After years of being lazy at 260 I'm going to try to find a good middle ground and keep my health in check while I begin to get old. Also large people who can't lose weight I'd suggest anything in water. The resistance is good for muscles and water will lift the painful weight that you normally experience with cardio.
There is an update on story 5: long story short, op had a heart to heart with her family(father, mother, both brother ans sister), sincere apologies were given and she settle for leting her husband and son going into the family gatherings without her until she feels better
Jeez it's like people don't know how to talk to each other these days.
@@KazeShikamaru "These days"? What on Earth makes you think this is a new development? Humans are literally the worst at "talking things out" and have been since the dawn of time.
@@KazeShikamaru Not really, not unless it's through text and even then things get misconstrued.
OP is NOT responsible for POOR planning on her cousins part. She is NOT th AH, her cousin IS!! Why is she having a child she can NOT afford?
In some parts of the world that isn't a choice anymore
3:58 "ok Mom, I considered it. I gave it a half second of thought and decided that no, I'm not changing my dog's name."
My exact thought.
You can't just change his name. Hed be absolutely lost too 😭
15:01 my answer the cousin, “Don’t get knocked up if you can’t afford the consequences.”
Exactly. Why is your fun time trophy my responsibility? Do you know who the daddy/sperms donor is? It's his responsibility. Go ask him.
Story 2: Argh!! There it is! The whole “keep the peace” talk, the words of cowards who refuse to hold others accountable!
I WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THIS KIND OF TALK
"Keep the peace" is just short for "cater to the entitled baby of the family so we don't need to listen to their temper tantrums"
Sometimes "keep the peace" is reasonable. I mean, if your brother is lactose intolerant, do not make mac & cheese when he visits you, even if it's your tradition to make it on the first Sunday of the month, or something like that.
But in this case... maybe, and that is a big maybe, if there was a beloved grandpa called Charles or it is family tradition to name the first son Charles AND they would come to OP with "hey, bro, I know that you called your dog Charlie, but it is something they do in this family since 1850's, so would you consider changing your dogs name, please?", it would be reasonable request. I'm not saying that OP would have to rename the dog, just saying that it would be fine to ask. But they already knew that dog, so it is their problem.
@@simonspacek3670 Yeah giving a pet a traditional family name would be a dick move.
Don’t you know when you pop out a human grand baby, you are absolved from accountability?
The skinny story: as a plus size gal, I try to encourage ALL types of body positivity. It doesn't matter if you're 100lbs or 300lbs, I firmly believe you deserve to be proud of your body as long as you're healthy and happy with it. Amanda was taking out her insecurities on OP just like I'm sure other skinny girls have done to her in the past,but that doesn't make it right and I cannot believe none of her "friends" ever stopped her from picking on OP. She's the kind that gives us chubby chicks a bad name and I hope she eventually finds a healthy way to cope and accept her size. I'm so sorry to OP, NOBODY deserves to be body shamed for any reason. She should absolutely cut off this "friend" group.
As a guy who maxed at 350 and now down to 255, encourage people when they want to change their body but dont shame people. Help dont push.
@threecards333 First of all, congratulations! That's amazing!
Second of all, I agree. People should encourage others to get healthier (lose weight, gain weight, quit smoking), but there's a right way and a wrong way of doing so. I like how you worded it: "Help, but don't push."
@@threecards333exactly! No one knows what someone’s goals may be for their body and it’s important that it’s their goal they are following, not a goal pushed on them. Sometimes a friend of mine who is on the heavier side says they lost some weight and my first question as a healthcare worker is always, “were you trying to?” (Sometimes their attitude and facial expression answers that) And when they say yes, I congratulate them for their success and if they say no I check and make sure there are no health red flags or concerns they are having. It’s their journey and I am just here to be a support, not try and tell them where to go. Great phrase, “help, not push”! Also as a rule of thumb I never comment on someone’s appearance (never the body, just clothes/hair/makeup/accessories) unless it’s a compliment because no matter what there is always something positive I can say and the world needs more positivity.
10:08 As a plus sized person, NTA. Most of my family are plus sized/not skinny, and my parents sometimes comment on how skinny random people are. I always make a note to tell them that that's not OK, and they've vaguely stopped. Once they commented on how skinny my girlfriend was and i was so angry
It is the same as a group of teens bullying a person for being over weight.
I grew up being given a lot of crap for being skinny, I know what it's like. I was also petty and always dished back what was given to me, but had a bad habit of going overboard. I didn't feel bad about hurting people's feelings because their skinny comments deeply hurt me. I was struggling with being severely underweight. I'd binge food everyday hoping to at least put on even one LB. It was a constant battle and it hurt when people brought it up, losing weight was devastating because the chances of being able to gain it back were so slim. It wasn't until I was in my 20s that my doctor discovered my 'fast metabolism' was the result of my body being in cardio mode 24/7. I was burning a large amount of calories even when sleeping. My heart was at risk of working itself to death. A few medications later and I'm finally at a healthy weight.
OP is far better than me, and so is her mom. OP handled it in a pretty decent way. There was class to her comment.
@Dancer_Of_Boreal I'm so happy you're at a healthy weight, and I'm sorry you had to go through that.
It’s wild that it’s ok to mock a skinny person for being bulimic but not a fat person because “it’s a serious medical condition” or bs.
There is no such thing as "plus size" it's called FAT, you are FAT. Amanda is FAT. And I am also a fat pig, not "plus sized" I'm 120kg 183cm, im fat af, calling myself + size would be a lie to myself and everyone around me when they CLEARLY see im just FAT
Story 3: I love how the wife's family thinks they can keep inviting themselves to dinner, on vacations, et cetera, and that OP will just pay for it all. These people are delusional.
And insanely entitled!
Story 3: this can be summed up in one sentence “ if you don’t want me at my worst, you can’t have me at my best”. They don’t get to benefit off of hard work they not only didn’t do, but constantly mocked and ridiculed for no reason other than they could.
Second I heard the cousin begging for money I was like "here comes the 'WHY DON'T THEY HELP?'"
Me too. I am so happy that rSlash started doing that again. It adds happiness to my already happy time listening to these videos.
I'll say what I always think, and sometimes comment. If I were OP I'd collect the names of all of the people who contacted her to tell her to give the travel money to the cousin. Then I'd contact the cousin, cc'g all of those people and say 'good news cousin! These family members (list them here) have decided to support you. You can contact them directly to see how they will spend money to you.'
Story 1: Honestly this is ALL Op needs to say “you didn’t come to your OWN CHILD’s funeral…so why tf should i help you…?”
NTA Op, karma is a bitch and so is he.
And I would let him know since he has a means to have contact with him, he will inform the courts so he can be forced to pay back child support.
The absolute audacity to never consider OP and his family’s wellbeing but expect them to still care about the affair family when the father did nothing but give his concern to them
These "but we're family" people always seem to target a person they think they can bully into obedience and carrying the load of other people. All the while having millions of excuses why they can't pitch in at all right now, or ever.
15:46 there was another story like this where the person said I will contribute as much as everybody else contributes. And nobody contributed anything so op was off the hook.
I've noticed in a lot of stories that overweight people love to point out when someone is skinny in an insulting way but it's considered the most rudest and disgusting thing when it's reversed. For people that are all about body positivity and accepting your larger body, they sure get offended very fast
Particularly weird to comment on a near stranger EVERY time you see them. wtaf? That friend should have stepped in LONG before it got to that point and told Amanda to STFU about OP's weight.
Just remember that those people are a small minority of overweight women. Most people are normal and don't engage in that stupid hypocrisy 👍
My step-mom used to do this to me all the time. One time she even told my young brother to “Make sure that she eats a sandwich. …like a whole sandwich .”
That's because deep down, it's all cope.
They know overly fat people are gross too but refuse to stop feeding their faces.
It's also why they talk about medical issues when in reality very few people have such issues. It's all just a matter of stop eating so much for over 99% of them.
It's one thing if you genuinely enjoy what you might look like overweight, but in that case you wouldn't take offense to any of it.
@@xXstokoseXxeugh, how about she eats a knuckle sandwich before someone feeds her one
Story 6: It's nice of all that family to offer their help to the cousin in this emergency. Be sure to hand out their numbers.
And perhaps their bank account should be shared since cousin has an idea what’s in OPs.
Story 4: I know that fat-shaming is more notorious, but skinny-shaming is a thing too. Would it be too much to ask for everyone to mind their own business? XP
It's literally impossible as a human being. Even the nicest person will look at someone else. Find one thing they don't like about them. And make it known.
That's why people who preach tolerance are always hypocrites in the end. 😊
@@ZaxTax-h8t cause is better being an hypocrite that going around hurting people?
also because while is true we all have our mean thoughts, not everyone obsess over them and try to rule other people lives.
as I heard in a psychology chanel, every human is a bit of a narcissist, we all selfish, but not everyone is a full one, there are limits
@@dinlupus3196 k. Now explain how that has to do with anything I just said.
Yeah, people forget being fat doesn't give you a free card too attack other's insecurities and physically is insane that i need to clarify it.
@@ZaxTax-h8t ok, I just notice that I misread one bit if your comment, sorry....I thought your were making a question "why preach tolerance when we all hycocrites at the end" thats what I read.....ugggg, why my brain skips words?
sorry for the confusion, I can see why my resulting comment is sort of annoying
On the weight one, op shouldve just called her out. "Stop making comments on my body because you're insecure." Also, press charges. She needs to learn we're in the real world and actions have consequences. It's not op punishing her, it's her punishing her. People who do that don't think "and now ill never do it again". She will overreact and slap more people until she has consequences.
The absolute audacity to body shame someone and when that person only goes, "i actually like my body", to then physically attack that person cause, what? They didnt respond equally as insensitive, rude or pointless as they had? Gtfo, Amanda was trying to start shit and if she didnt want to be 'fat shamed' then maybe dont comment on others bodies Smh
"I'm so confident in my body and fat positive that I insist that you also be fat." 🙄
This is why I don't like the movement anymore. It's nice to have body positivity (when you're a healthy weight) but it's not right to get angry at a skinny person and call it a "privilege"
@@hollytheanimalcrossingfan tbh i dont interact with the bodyposi community because it seems like it's ONLY focused on "fat is beautiful" and it feels *so* much like people are saying that you have to be beautiful to have any value. the version of body positivity *I* practice is looking in the mirror at my fat body and my ugly face that looks like someone put pubes on a thumb and going "yep, that's my body. i live here. i don't hate it. i take care of it the best i can. wish it wasn't falling apart tho." and I feel like *that's* more important than everyone being beautiful. someone's gotta be the ugliest person in the room, and honestly? i don't mind that it's usually me. my meat jaegar is ugly but the weirdo piloting it is a DELIGHT, and anyone who doesn't want to learn the second part because they're put off by the first is missing out. *That's* the kind of body positivity that the movement should be about. It's okay to be fat. It's okay to be skinny. It's okay to be ugly. It's okay to be pretty. Being fat doesn't mean you're ugly. Being ugly doesn't make you less of a person. Let people live their lives in their own bodies because there's a lot of stuff you can't change about the meat suit you were given at birth.
Story 2: does she not realize how dogs work, when they get named, they imprint on that name, and they don't respond or react to any other name
When I got my cat, she was 3 years old. I decided not to change her name.
I mean....I adopted a 2.5 yr old dog who's name had been Eber Bear (yes, Eber) and I renamed him Gus. It didn't take long for him to learn his new name and respond to it.
But the sister shouldn't have named her kid after the dog. Thats the real issue here. Not retraining the dog.
Story 3: Reminds me of the fable "The Little Red Hen". They didn't want to support during the process, but now that the work's done they want a part of the profit?
Story 1. Yes his other kids are innocent, but so was OP and the sister. A man who couldn't be bothered to attend one of his children's funerals has no moral high ground to stand on about doing what's best for his other children. It isn't fair, but children often suffer the consequences of their parents' actions and unfortunately all of this man's children are going to deal with hardship because of his selfish, unfeeling character.
Yeah, that dude has a true audacity! Makes me think his desire to 'reconcile' was purely an effort to recruit OP to look after the family he gives a damn about.
I'm overweight due to health reasons. And I hate it. I'm working on it. OP is 100% not at fault.
It’s not like it’s your fault, don’t hate it. Everyone around you will know it’s not your fault. I’m sure you’re gorgeous, even with extra weight ❤️ health related weight gain happens to people everyday. Even people like Selena Gomez. It’s totally normal
@Tuco_Salamanca3 thank u :)
It’s a lot of hard work to work around health issues and it’s made even harder when it results in weight gain/loss because of how it’s changes your perception of yourself whether you want it to or not. I wish you the best of luck on your health journey and hope that you find great success and support no matter what! Also, I hope you find comfort in your body no matter what size because it’s yours and you deserve to feel proud of that!
@@rebeccajesse4604 thank u :)
Story 4: NTA and anyone claiming OP was in the wrong is trash. Amanda picked the fight and OP knocked her the fuvv out. OP's friend's "it's different" line is worthless. She's not a friend and OP needs to close the book on that relationship.
Story 1: OP is not wrong. That guy was just a donor. OP should just try and live a great life without him.
Block him and his harpy. It’s his job to make sure his family is taken care of and not the responsibility of the family he discarded.
@@lorilancaster5917He is fully free as a human (I use that term very loosely) to abandon his family. But with that comes their lack of respect, love, and duty to him.
@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012Oh no, a deadbeat cheater and his affair partner doesn't like him... Anyway 😂
Unless you mean the "dad", he definitely made his bed and he can sleep in it
2nd story - Emilie was unable to listen with understanding.
4th story - Amanda has a problem. And yes, OP commented *on her own body* , not Amanda's. That was a perfect deflection, and a perfect idea to expose Amanda from OP's mum.
9:47 screw their opinions OP should have pressed charges to that B
OP definitely should have pressed charges, being in Jail will help her diet.
The "Thanks I like being skinny" being considered an insult to the overweight friend gives the same energy of that Twitter meme of "I like waffles" "Wow I can't believe you said you hate pancakes"
9:23 chase her? I don't think anyone needs to chase the fridge...
Nice
*First OP:* Just from the first few sentences alone, OP is NTA. Sheesh. I do feel bad for the other kids, though.
*Second OP:* When pulling the Sibling Seniority card goes wrong. Why would Emily name her son that knowing full well OP already gave her dog that name? OP is NTA.
*Third OP:* OP is completely justified in not paying for his in-laws after they'd spoken badly about him. OP is NTA. Shoutout to his wife for having back. That doesn't always happen in these stories.
*Fourth OP:* As a plus-size woman, OP (and her mom) did the right thing. Just because her size is socially acceptable doesn't mean anyone has the right to insult her looks. And it _certainly_ doesn't give Amanda the right to slap OP. OP is NTA. This is why I am not part of _that_ community.
*Fifth OP:* I can understand Eva's frustration, but it just because OP wasn't the first person to experience such a tragedy, and just because it wasn't her first child, doesn't make what she was going through any less traumatic. OP is NTA.
*Sixth OP:* All together now: "Okay, then why don't YOU do it?!" Why can't the other family members help with OP's cousin's pregnancy? Failure to plan on the cousin's part does not constitute an emergency on OP's end. OP is NTA.
2:56 "We named the dog Indiana."
Priceless
YES!
The dog?! You are named after the dog?! 😂😂😂😂
I have a lot of fond memories of that dog 😂
@alainastone7840 I named a character Indiana. She was an apathetic teen dying of the first wave of coronavirus. She eventually survived, but had to be on life support for months.
the birthday dinner story: my mom had three kids already and was pregnant with the fourth when she miscarried, its been ~15 years and it still affects her. it doesn't matter if you already have kids or not, a loss is a loss.
15:22 "Hell yeah, I'm prioritizing a vacation over your kid's future. This is my money and I'm spending it on me."
And it's not even a vacation. She's actually studying abroad!
Story 1:If OP chooses to speak to the sperm donor, he should just say something like
"I'll do everything you did for me." Which is absolutely zilch, blows my mind this p.o.s. has the NERVE to come around asking for support after abandoning OP, his sister and Mom. Not to mention not going to the funeral of his own daughter. Glad that Grandparents figured out how to make sure OP gets everything and p.o.s. and affair family don't get a single cent.
“He made bad choices in the past” what, like abandoning his children?
A guy in my hometown had a tendency to have too much to drink and lay hands on his wife in anger. His parents disowned him, and opened their home and their hearts to their DIL and grandkids.
Miscarriage: Imagine being so heartless that you insult someone for dealing with trauma in their own way, even though you experienced the same trauma and already worked through it long ago.
I don’t give a fuck how angry you are, you don’t say things like that to a person. It’s very obvious that Ava doesn’t feel bad because she didn’t want OP to hear. That way she didn’t have to deal with the consequences of being a bitch. Everyone keeps saying she should talk to Ava, but if you can make fun of a woman’s dead child, you can’t be reasoned with.
As a skinny boy who spent decades being told I was too thin, needed to eat more, blah, blah, blah, it shits me no end when it's perceived as fine for fat bastards to criticise me, but god forbid I dare make a comment about them being overweight. The double standard is bullshit.
Ong. Jus bc being skinny is "socially acceptable". Like no its not.... it's picky about which TYPE of skinny is acceptable
I'm fat/overweight due to Lupus & medication, I used to be regular sized/on the thinner side. I despise being fat, BUT 1) it's no one else's issue that I'm overweight & 2) you just don't comment on ANYONES body, EVER. If you wanna tell someone how nice they look, that's fine, but it doesn't need to be centered around their weight. Any "fat bastard" who comments on ur weight, you should say something like "I don't comment on ur body I'd appreciate that you don't comment, or shame me, for mine. You know nothing about me,my life or my health" make the fuckers think it's coz ur sick lol that'll make them feel like an asshole 🤣
I got the same type as comments when I was a skinny teen (girl). I expecially hated when people would grab my wrist and comment about how easily they could have their fingers touch while holding them.
As someone plus sized, I see no reason to call someone skinny or comment on their weight. Bc I feel like that would just open a door for ppl to be mean to me, so I can just keep my mouth shut and let people be what they are.
The Last Story I was literally thinking why can't the family do it then rslash said it. Why does it have to fall on OP! She worked for so long and gave up so much so she can follow her dream. People can be so greedy when anything can happen to them and expect OTHERS to bail them out SMH
There is an order regarding who should be providing for a baby.
1. The babies parents
2. The babies grandparents
3. Friends of the parents to be
4. Future aunts and uncles
While no one other than the parents are obligated to help, help from a cousin is low if at all on the list
@@lorilancaster5917 Right!!! It reminds me of the time I had graduated high school and my dad wanted to take me to Florida for two weeks as a present, I told him that i would pay for our activities to take some of the expense off of him. My greedy sister found out and demanded for him to take her instead of me. I reminded her that Dad had taken her to Kentucky for her graduation present years before and she just sulked like a toddler before my dad and I went on our two week vacation
@@carleighalpha yes yes! Evil laugh! Let the hate stew
@@lorilancaster5917 she has done much more over the years it makes my blood boil but as my grandfather told " Leave those who taint your kindness behind and open the doors to those who recognize"
No offense to rslash. But I want to hear more threads than simply aita. What happened to r/entitledparents? R/choosingbeggars?
The r/entitledparents subreddit is dead, no one has posted there for 3 years
Every time I go on those subreddits it's almost impossible to find an actual story, just people sending screenshots of texts, occasionally with context.
I know how you feel but those other subreddits just aren't as good as they were anymore. Collecting stories is even harder when most of them are fake
Or /storiesaboutKevin!!
@@Pyssliswait, really!? I thought that was an OG sub for stories like this! How could it be dead!? Dang
Weight story, I'd just reply with, "Even if I was insensitive, which isn't fair since I've been taking this for some time, she's lucky I'm not pressing charges for assault, I will not be apologizing for finally standing up for myself."
*edit*
How has this whole video been about gaslit people thinking, wrongly, that they're the ahole, kind of makes ya feel for a person ya know?
i feel like rslash needs merch that just says "Then YOU do it!" lmao
My cousins name is Eiko, he was a preteen at the time I think. When we got our new hunting dog years ago his name was also Eiko (he was already trained and came with the name) and you know what? NO ONE CARED! We made the occasional jokes at family fuctions when both cousin and dog were present, laughed when someone said "Eiko, sit!" to the dog. But beside that, no one cared! Why should anyone care? My cousin liked the dog too. Eiko was great. Human Eiko too^^
Story 2: I love how OP's sister willingly chose to name her son Charlie knowing it had been her dog's name for years and then whines to OP about how it'll be weird to have a child named after a dog. Then... Maybe you shouldn't have named your Charlie knowing it was already OP's dog's name? The fact that you chose that name for your child knowing this is _your_ problem, not OP's.
Story 4: We all know that Amanda only attacked OP because OP didn't let Amanda get to her. Typical insecure bully behavior; "If I can't hurt you mentally and emotionally, I'll hurt you physically" instead
Charlie:
Gotta wonder how OP's sister is going to react when OP is has to explain to her nephew that she was calling her dog Charlie, that he was named after.
"Why is your dog named after me?"
"He's not, you're named after him."
Reminds me of “we named the monkey Jack” from Pirates of the Caribbean.
@@ChiditheLitleo667 Overall, the story reminds me of how one family member will give their child a name that they knew OP was planning to use, then calling OP the AH because of the drama caused.
Even if OP was to rename their pet, the nephew would eventually learn of the situation feel that they were named after OP's dog, and that OP was bullied after or didn't want to "honor" him, thus why OP changed the dog's name. Either way would look bad.
I got made fun of for being skinny when I was younger. People would call me anorexic and tell me to eat. I ate a lot when I could, but I was also poor and food insecure.
OP is definitely not the AH. body positivity is supposed to go both ways. You cant be mad at someone for loving themselves. That karen needs therapy, or maybe to be charged with assult.
It's funny how almost always "For the sake of family" actually means "I don't have a good reason so I'll use a BS excuse to get what I want."
I'm of a certain weight. I won't say fat or skinny. But other people's personal opinions regarding my weight mean all of absolutely NOTHING to me.
Because I ACTUALLY have confidence.
If this woman actually IS secure and feeling hot and sexy in being fat, then other people's bodyweight and their opunions about hers should be utterly irrelevant.
To shame others for their appearance is cringe, bully cope on her part, and NOT OKAY. Mocking someone's skinniness, like jeering at someone's fatness, is bully behavior and not at all constructive, helpful criticism.
The fact that she feels the need to tear others down tells us all we need to know about her confidence and motivation.
I had a dog named Charlie for 12 years, I called him Charles. I had to put him down January 13 because his cancer came back. All my animals have human names. Including my other dog named Emily.
9:59 my mental health is why I'm skinny. Any time someone makes a sideways comment about me being skinny i look them dead in their soul and say "yeah my brain tried to starve me to death in 2019 and I'm still recovering." No one ever has a good reply aside from an immediate apology
Dam right. That’s why (repeat it with me) “we don’t make unsolicited comments on other people’s bodies”! We never know why someone is the way they are and if we know why we don’t always know how they feel about it. There is so much else going on in life, why do people feel the need to bring up someone’s body?! Like either say nothing or talk about the weather if you have nothing going on.
15:21 uh oh. Here it comes… at least I hope he says the magical 6 words…
“Then why don’t THEY do it?!”
Second story: I’ve worked in the doggie daycare/ vet field for over 10 years, I’m sorry to break it to OP’s sister but her son shares his name with about 1 million other dogs. I would have to say that Charlie might be in the top 5 dog names.
Not even a month passed... So her misscarriage symptoms proabbly aren't even over. Who needs enemies with siblings like that?
I’ve struggled with anorexia for over 10 years. My ‘body positive’ aunt told me I’d be healthier being overweight and that I’m killing myself slowly. I told her I’d rather die from anorexia than morbid obesity and it would be too much effort to become fat. She hasn’t spoken to me in 2 years. 😂😭
And nothing of value was lost lol
I hope you are doing better now and yeah, that's another reason why I don't like that movement anymore, they are hypocritical.
Good she sounds awful hope you're doing better now.
4:15 my family had this, we nicknamed the dog “charliedog” dog still heard its name and had no problems and us a kids didn’t get confused over who was who
Our Shepherd-Elkhound mix actually learned to recognize the spelling of both the word O-U-T and of our local convenience store. (S-T-E-W-A-R-T-S meant a ride and treats.) Before she passed away she was starting to figure out what "remove the canid to the exterior of the dwelling" meant.
As a skinny girl, I feel OP's pain. But she failed to speak up, as I always did. You have to say, "Please stop body-shaming me. It's hurtful." If they insist it's not insulting, then flip it. Once their own comments are directed at them, they might find some empathy.
I have been both 130kg and 59kg wich made me look absolutely tiny. It's not ok to shame either. The woman who slapped op is in the wrong. Op was just finally defending herself in a way that did NOT insult anybody else's body unlike that bword. I'm now healthily between and can confirm all sizes get bullying.
Skinny OP: I have been fat my entire life, like double my prescribed body weight, and it took me a lot of therapy to not be hair-trigger sensitive about it. This OP did absolutely nothing wrong. Could she have been more sensitive? Maybe, but she was under absolutely no obligation to consider the feelings of someone who has ignored hers for YEARS. Also, she's right, she didn't say anything about Amanda's body, all she did was assert that the trait that Amanda was trying to exploit had no power over her. TBH, OP is already being a whole lot kinder than I would have been, because I'd have either hit her back or pressed charges for assault... maybe both.
I’ve always been sensitive about how my body looked, when I was super skinny AND when my metabolism finally settled and I gained a bunch of weight because my appetite didn’t lessen to match my slower metabolism. I am finally starting to just accept my body and every time someone opens their mouth to make an unsolicited comment (positive or negative ) it sets me back a bit in that journey. I don’t mind people compliment my clothes or hair because those are things I can control but sometimes even compliments about my body/size feel off. And I say this as someone whose bmi classifies as overweight/normal depending on the day. I can’t imagine how someone else would feel if they have a weight that “society” has been picking on for decades. That’s why it’s just not OK to make unsolicited comments on someone’s body (honestly imo, even if you think it’s positive tread very carefully with friends and just don’t do it with strangers/acquaintances). I am so glad you seem to be in a better place on your journey and that therapy has helped you feel more in control! I wish you the best! (And I ugly snorted when you said you would hit back as I totally agree! Don’t start a physical fight unless you’re able to handle retaliation)
Story 1: OP, his mom, and sis were all innocent in this too, but he didn’t care then, for several years. So why is he upset or even surprise the child he abandoned does not care about him or the family he left them for? And once again, OP refusing to help is not a punishment, it’s nothing, and yeah, it’s a lot better than what he gave his son and daughter.
Something most people truly don’t understand is that too late can come before death. Although this case is a little different because too late was when this man didn’t give a damn about his daughter dying.
The most unbelievable part of the 4th story is that Amanda RAN out the room
Story 2: While I occasionally disagree with rSlash I am always happy when we have the same ideas for petty revenge.
Also OPs Sister is insane. If you didn't want your Dog to share a name with a dog, then she should not have named her kid after a dog!
I don't understand why people think they are entitled to other people's money or stuff because in THE REAL WORLD nobody owes anybody anything at all.
13:42, ummm “out of anger” ? Why is someone angry that your taking time to heal from a miscarriage? That’s when you need a to be the most supportive and least angry at someone… that comment was so unhinged and out of pocket, if anyone in my family said that about me or anyone I’d be leaving immediately and cutting contact.. not to mention that the sister should be the most understanding of how o.p. Feels, because while it’s not exactly the same, struggling with infertility and having a miscarriage are similar in the sense that yous both are grieving lost children, wtf…
As a fellow overweight woman I would say to that person that while the world can treat overweight people like we are not worth as much, you are not gaining any status by projecting that same attitude onto skinny people. Slender people aren't this one hive mind out to get us and you can't be an arsehole to a skinny individual who's done you no harm because you think that person represents the kind of people who gave you a hard time in the past. It doesn't make you special, this isn't the "gotcha" you think it is. Also, OP didn't even insult her? She didn't respond with a mean-spirited comment about her weight (though I honestly wouldn't have blamed her if she had) she just decided to declare that she loved her body as it was. The nutjob in that story doesn't seem to realize you can love the way you look without hating people who don't. I personally can't stand professional victims who can't take what they dish out.
Skinny story: THE AUDACITY TO ACT LIKE A VICTIM AFTER INSULTING AND ASSAULTING SOMEOME 🤬🤬🤬🤬
i'm very skinny and i used to be underweight due to depression. People constantly commented on how i am just "skin and bones", it was so frustrating because i couldn't really change it. i couldn't force myself to eat and so i couldn't gain weight. i felt ashamed of how i looked and whenever someone saw me eating they acted like i never ate at all. I had people that were able to help me eat more, but those are people i asked for help. So i just recommend not commenting on someones weight and eating habits, unless you know them really well.
💯 I am so glad you have people supporting you in helpful ways! Lack of appetite is a pretty horrible feeling and it is so much more difficult to navigate than people seem to understand. As a teen I was very skinny due to my metabolism just being crazy high and compensating for growing to 5’11” by the time I was 12. I absolutely hated how some girls would act so “concerned” over how much I ate because I ate plenty. It got to the point where I swear they were on the verge of an “intervention”. It was crazy insulting how they thought they knew my body better than me. You are absolutely right in that only people that you ask for help from should ever comment on how/what you eat. I’m dealing with appetite issues myself now and sadly the only things I can bring myself to eat consistently are usually pretty lacking in the health category but it’s either that or I don’t eat and I know I need to eat. I’m just glad that my metabolism slowed down and I have some extra fat now to compensate for my lack of appetite so I have some time to try and find a solution before I do too much damage to myself. I wish you the best of luck on your health journey and just know that you have value no matter how you look or how your health is doing ❤
@rebeccajesse4604 i also wish you best of luck on your health journey. ❤
I also still have some appetite issues but found ways to handle it better and while i still have days where i eat almost nothing, i am improving
I hope you find ways that work for you too
It’s not fair to share a name with a dog? Oh god what will they do when they find out He also shares a name with a cat? Yes I have a Cat Named Charlie
Charlie is a good name for a cat
@ we Also Have a almost year old Cat Named Chester and an Elder Cat Named Shadow
I actually know someone that has a cat named Charlie. He’s a very handsome orange boy.
OP's cousin in the last story should have been prepared for her pregnancy. Her lack of preparation is NOT OP's emergency to take care of. OP is NTA.
S1: Wow OP’s father is a monster. He only reached out because of his cancer but he didn’t even show up to OP’s sister’s funeral. I can’t believe that he is trying to get you to take care of his other family so no 1000% not the bad person. S2: What the *BEEP* OP’s sister expects them to change the name of their dog when OP named their dog before the kid even was a thing so not the bad person. S3: Wow they expect OP to continue to take care of them when they kept talking bad about him. Wow it doesn’t help that the family is constantly lashing out at you so not the bad person. S4: It depends on the situation but when her other friend friends constantly poke fun at OP’s weight. It’s not any kind of phobia or rudeness when she is constantly having her weight made fun of and when she slapped OP wow, not the bad person. S5: I’m sorry that had a major loss but when your sister basically kinda pokes fun or made light of a major loss WOW OP’s sister is the bad person not OP. FINAL: It’s not up to OP to take care of her cousin’s kid. She is the one who is pregnant not OP and if the family thinks she needs money then why don’t they help hmmmm
That last story: Lack of planning on your part doesnt constitute an emergency on my part
Story 1: tell him you'll be just as present for them as he was for your little sister when SHE was sick and needed her father.
Story 3: I'm skinny and although it's socially more acceptable, I get called "sickly" and all sorts of things all the time. It's exhausting and annoying. Like yeah, I'm skinny, I get it. But it's not my problem you're secure about YOUR weight
If someone gets confused whether they’re talking about a dog or a baby then that person has greater things to worry about, so that argument goes out the window.
*Always. Press. Charges.*
I respectfully disagree. I would say "You are always justified for pressing charges." However, just because you can do something doesn't mean you should do something. I would carefully look at the potential consequences of pressing charges first. Every action you take (or don't take), every word you speak (or don't speak) has consequences. The results spread out from you like ripples in a pond. And just like the pond ripples, they bounce off things and reflect back to the source.
@@MarkStockman-b4j Jabba pulled a Will Smiff and slapped The Opie right in the mouf. All for what's ultimately *thanking* Jabba for the comment she made? Naw, talk to the cops...
My wife was once slapped by a "friend" for a perceived insult which, like OP and Amanda, wasn't actually an insult. The woman who slapped my wife got a broken nose Charges were not filed because the police said my wife's action was a reasonable response to an assault. Nobody ever tried slapping my wife again.
Story 3: NTA. As many stories go which is related to money, your money, your rules. Whether they are nice to you or not, you aren't obligated to give them anything. They talk down to you? Then good! You have even more of a reason to not give them a single cent.
Exactly. You can’t throw stones at a golden goose then expect it to give you eggs
Sadly, roughly half the human population believes that it's "greedy and selfish" to want to keep the fruits of your own labor, but morally justified to demand the fruits of others' labor without offering a voluntary exchange of value for value. That belief is more dangerous to humanity than either nuclear weapons or climate change.
It's as simple as the difference between "You have an apple tree, and I don't, so I deserve apples" and "Hey, if I pick up your apples as they fall so they don't rot, and keep your yard raked until snow flies, will you pay me with a share of the apples?"
First story: "My family is innocent!" Well the kids are, but the affair partner wife certainly isn't. Also the kids will still have a mom, she can take care of them.
Skinny: Amanda getting 2/5 BH's... one for each ton she weighs.
Re Namjng:
“The DOG?! You were named after the family DOG?!”
“…I have a lot of fond memories of that dog!”
I'm subscribed with all notifications on, but for several weeks now I've got to go find this video on RSlash's page manually. This is ridiculous.
Yeah, same with me, and I have all notifications on 😂
Check that you are still subscribed. TH-cam sometimes decides that you don't want to be subscribed anymore.
Skinny story cracks me up. The constant sneering remarks about OPs appearance were already indicative of either a fixation or envy - and the reflex to slap her when all she did was remark that she was happy to be the thing the other girl was sneering at her for?? LOLOLOLOL that girl’s got problems. It’s a pity everyone around OP has internalised ‘don’t be anti-fat’ to the point where it overrides ‘don’t dish it out if you can’t take it’.
47 seconds, 42 likes, already 18 comments
Y'all are wild😂
Growing up, I had a very similar name to my uncles dog. it was literally never an issue. It actually became a fun joke. They would call the dog, and I'd come running too. We were besties lol
good morning yall dont let nobody play with you today !!!!
As a person who has been thin my entire life, even after 3 babies, it is so uncomfortable when people comment on my body. Like, if I say thank you, will they think I'm self-absorbed.
UwU
And once again a second UwU for good luck... And an OwO for my homies.
WuW for the weirdos of us( I am no different)
"Then why don't YOUUUUUUU do it?" :D :D :D Gets me every time.
That needs to be on a t-shirt