Google search ****Golden penis syndrome**** you will see hundred off articles confirming these college educated high earning guys have the golden ticket to Veejayjay. The corporate lawyer from Princeton,a physician from Duke or Columbia or have a FAANG senior Software Engineer from MIT or Stanford can make $400k+. Those average looks guys become very attractive around 27-28 because 25 is when women realize how different their lives will be with a guy who is on the way to make $400k vs a guy making $75k. Most start making big bank at ~33-34 and their dating pool is massive. And they know it.
Ehhh. Do we really think this guy working in Private Equity has low options? He'll be clearing around half a mil with bonus in 2-3 years. I'm putting my cards on him being able to land an Instagram model. The only issue is if you lead with the money, you attract people who want you for the lifestyle. Sure, they'll still love you, F you, etc. But without the gravy train, they most likely won't be around.
Do you need Ivy League research studies research to confirm there are not enough well educated wealthy men for all the beautiful women who want one. The research is consistent ****“Mating markets and bargaining hands: Mate preferences for attractiveness and resources in two national U.S. studies “**** Fale Et al and ****“Mismatches in the marriage market”**** Lichter Et aI. one of latter studies authors Price summarized “results indicate that there does seem to be a large structural mismatch in the marriage market with a shortage of men with college degrees and higher incomes.” “What might be causing this mismatch in the marriage market? Two patterns provide the strongest explanation. First, women are more likely to obtain a college degree compared to men (with women obtaining over 57% of the bachelor’s degrees). Second, ****there is strong evidence of hypergamy with men seeking out a spouse who is younger and has less education.**** The combination of these two patterns leaves a large number of highly educated women with a lower chance of finding a possible match.”…….try to get these guys in college or early in their careers because once they start making big bank it’s a nightmare trying to get one. Them streets is hard.
@@CourtneyRyan If he is comparing the options he would have today with the options he would have in 2-4 years, the over or under estimation seems to cancel out.
I used to work at this office as an Accountant, and all the married women wanted to go out with me. That schocked me and scared me at the same time because I though about myself being married one day and my wife cheating on me behind my back.
Yes, I was going through a divorce in a fairly small town a few years ago and was alarmed at the number of married women that started flirting with me. I travel for work and always have, so I looked at them as though I would be jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. No thanks.
Same here. Humbly, I’m told I’m a very good looking guy, and I’ve been hit on by tons of women. Many of them married. Kinda ruined the whole married dream for me. A lot of women absolutely cannot control themselves around very good looking guys, married or not.
You really assume that people are not going outside if they on social media? They are not having human interactions, they are nt meeting people instead or because they are on social media?Wild.
the main thing that gets me is that people don’t want to grow together anymore, they just want someone who is already at the top so they don’t have to make the journey and completely ditching “the journey is its own reward” saying. it’s people who grow together that form a solid relationship, grass doesn’t just get greener, you nurture your lawn till it grows thick and green.
There is no "top". Even successful people continue to grow and change in life. This isn't a videogame where your character just stops leveling or runs out of skills to learn.
Yeah don't depend on others for "growth" You should be going into a relationship full complete as a person or mostly complete. The 2 should compliment each other. So be alone and be content
I don’t agree with the grow together mindset. You both need to be stable and content individuals who know who you are before joining together in marriage and having a family. Children shouldn’t be raised in poverty, and codependency isn’t healthy.
@@becca53444The thing is you should know each other before marriage. Also it's about bonding. Building shared memories. Like painting your first flat together. At some point you will have your core memories, things like painting your first flat or celebrating a big promotion or something. If you don't have your partner at that time you will rarely think about them.
My career exploded in my mid-30s. While that success gave me more dating options, those extra options were, for the most part, bad apples. To avoid that sort of person, I exited the dating market and found success by circulating within my friends' social groups.
I think the approach that Courtney is reacting to highlights why many marriages fail. People expect a finished product when choosing a mate rather than truly understanding that whomever they choose will change over time. I think the key is finding someone who has similar goals, values, who comes from a decent family (ideally, but not always) and who is or could become your best friend. Yes, you need to be attracted to this person as well. Sounds like a tall order but it requires going beyond your personal checklist of surface qualities and really getting to know the person, including their flaws. The key is finding someone, even if they aren't a finished product, who has good foundational qualities and be willing to grow together. That's what builds a strong and lasting relationship.
People used to get married to help them to be a "finished product" to build their lives, now people wait and make their entire lives to be and find the "finished product"... and looking at the big picture it clearly not working. The script that was given to people in modern society isnt working for a substantial portion of the population, and this is across several societies, it isnt just the US.... we see it in Europe as well as marriage and family constitution goes. Or the lack of it.
You should also be able to accept the person's flaws as they are and not be expecting them to change all of them in the future. You should love the person as they are right now and who they could become in the future
Men are not playing a waiting game they have just had enough and left. Women are pretending they are waiting for the 'right' man because that is far better than admitting men have rejected her.
Do you know what's funny? They are "waiting" for the right man but no man wants her. She can keep waiting and complaining, in the end, she will blame men for her loneliness and her choices. Since most men are done with dating, she's fighting for an even smaller percentage of men who are willing to date. On top of that, from the pool of men willing to date women, a very small percentage of men would be even qualified to date her, according to the delusional standards of women these days. Congratulations women, you won absolutely nothing. Because the man you are waiting for, doesnt exist. And even if he did exist, he would never choose you, an expired woman, aged, old, used up, emotionally scarred or having emotional baggage, misandrist. He would rather choose the younger woman who is pure and fertile and still has her years, unlike the older women. It's no wonder jealous older women call men pedos for choosing younger women. They can see how men are going for the younger ones and not them. How men ignore older women like they don't exist, like how women ignore 90% of men, like we don't exist. What really pisses these old expired women, is that they spent their years working that job, getting that salary, getting ran through, they thought men like those and that they would be married. But then they see a younger woman, who has not worked a day in her life, getting the marriage these older women have always wanted. So what do these jealous salty women do? They will sabotage. They will call men pedos for choosing someone younger. Then they will convince these younger women with feminist lies and make them hate men so that these younger women end up like them. We know how spiteful a woman can be, and it's not hard to imagine that older women do this. Since they are not getting married, noone should. Rather than accept that they are wrong, these women will double down on their toxic behaviour and label it as empowering.
Women get caught in an endless loop. When their perfect man decides to lay up with them for a quick nut, it's almost impossible for most women to see themselves with someone less, even though the guy was clearly using them for sex. Female sexual liberation has actually permanently fucked up women's psyche.
The main issue I'm finding with women is that they want to spend spend spend. Men have to take the woman out every night. Men have to go on vacations often before she gets bored. This creates a negative finance loop where both partners are poor all the time and the woman is left frustrated when the marriage and children never happen. Women are wasting years and years dating men, gutting them of their finances and then wondering why the big and important things aren't happening. Meanwhile a ton of incel single men are swimming in money, buying homes doing their own thing and ignoring the dating standards because they are too expensive. Women have everything backwards, they don't want to accept the fact that a successful life is a boring life, it's mostly a routine, it's not going to be spontaneous and chaotic like a movie or TV show.
That’s true. I’ve actually met people who were financially well off and it was because they are stingy with their money. It’s honestly no way to live and it’s way more fun being middle class with some money to do fun stuff every once in awhile.
How many of you see women on dating sites that want to travel travel travel. And travel. Seriously how many vacation days do you get to blow all that money you haven't earned yet?
@@Blayzegood point. So many women and I mean really all women who claim to want a trad husband only talk about his responsibilities but never deferring to his traditional authority. Traditional husbands had a commensurate level of authority to effectively provide, protect, and be parentally invested. Women want allegedly 50/50 control/authority but he takes full responsibility when everything goes south. In effect women have the right to veto whatever he decides to do and then blame him for the failures caused by her vetoes.
Our society is broken, it was broken on purpose & we are in a spot where it is massively risky to start a family & if you're not planning on having kids, then why get married? It's really seeming pointless now days, just build a good life & hope you can hang onto it.
Agreed on the pointlessness of marriage if you're not going to procreate. I'm looking to procreate without getting married. Surrogacy sounds promising. In a few years I think I'll have the capital to afford a sitter to help me raise my kids. Cheaper than an unhinged harpy in divorce court.
Exactly right, there is absolutely NO reason for a young man in the USA in the 21st century to get married ... period. Even if you want to have children, you still don't need to get married. Get married and you place half of your net worth on a legal roulette table and the courts in this country will rape you financially.
The guy she was talking to was "friend zoned" so I don't blame him for being blunt with her and it shouldn't have "scared" her because she wasn't interested in him anyway. Courtney has it right. I'm old now and widowed but back in the day I did pretty well with the ladies ('70s) and dated some very pretty women but none of them would have been a good partner for me. Beauty is truly only skin deep. Try and find someone that shares your values and goals and you may just fall in love-or not-who knows. I hope dating changes for the sake of young men AND women.
Also an old widower(65). The difference dating then and now. Women used to say they had a good time and enjoyed going out with you. Now it is the man's job to Ask, Pay, make all the arangements AND say thank you after. -- A little gratitude would go a long way. But women are owed a special date. That's what kills it for me.
Don't think its gonna get better..... its likely gonna get far worse both in the west and in Asian cultures. Only the super rich and super poor are having kids now
The reality is that there are loads of attractive women out there and few successful men, so this is a valid stance to take on his end. Also, women appreciate older guys with experience so a successful 30 y/o guy pulling an attractive girl in her early 20s that hasn’t experienced as many hardships, traumas, stressors, etc. and is naturally a more pleasant woman is more likely than one would give credit to. These are also the common things men look for in their partner 9:25
I was very romantic in my 20s, was looking for someone with who we could take a chance on each other and grow together. That never happened. Now Im 33 and just focusing on getting back in to great shape, launching my career in to a better place, and focusing on accomplishing the goals in life Ive set for myself. I wanted something different but it wasnt in the cards. I might put some swimmers on ice just in case but otherwise Ill just bide my time and continue to improve myself. Also, sidebar, Ive watched a lot of your videos. I dont think you really realize how often your advise of what women are looking for boils down to money/resources. Its like you dont need to have money, you just need to have all of these things that money buys... totally different. It is what it is
I'm in the same boat, was really romantic in my 20's but after being screwed over by 3 different girls I've decided to just focus on myself and getting my career on the track that I want it to be on, I agree with the fact that some men aren't playing the waiting game some men have moved on from women period
@@coreymitchell3058 Your age group is tough. Don't give up. Just bide your time until they grow up. or maybe date cougars for a while. Just to see how it can be different.
If you have a girl who is loyal, mature, loving, caring, put in effort in the relationship, communicate properly and will not leave you high and dry because her fantasies are not being met, then marry her. Money and looks are not the yard standard for a healthy relationship and qualities of a parent. Be wise!
Most guys agree, which is why study after study shows that guys don't care about money. I think the look thing is just because it's an easy way to filter out people before you approach them. It's not like someone is ugly is automatically going to be a great person, they could also be ugly inside, and someone that is pretty isn't automatically going to not be any of these things. So if you are only going to approach a limited number of people you may as well only approach people that you are attracted to, not like you can approach and ask out every girl you see. Although I've certainly known and heard of people that basically tried to.
You say be wise and marry her in the same statement. A wise person doesn't sign a contract with someone who is awarded cash and prizes for breaking it. Regardless of the individual, as a man, you have a responsibility to your family and society to improve the world. That means standing up against tyranny and injustice, even if it comes at a small personal cost. Do not bend the knee. You're just enabling a system that will gladly enslave or murder any sons you may have.
When a man says what he wants/thinks, it's "harsh", unfair, or "could be worded better." When a woman says what she wants, it's "slay Queen👑" or "she knows what she wants." 🙄
I think that "hotness" is not the total sum of what makes beauty. Kindness, empathy, and patience are what make me feel safe enough to connect on an emotional level.
my dudes.. been with my share of hot woman.. they ae the ones who are most insecure and lead the worst sex and are least in touch with their bodies hence cant make love well. Goes hand in hand is all i can say.
Yes. Attractiveness is more than skin deep. Look around, many men are very happily married to a woman for decades and amazingly they aren't all married to supermodels.
@@mormegil84 I apreciate that, thank you. I recently got diagnosed with spinal stenosis and a herniated disc. I've made peace with not finding a partner, but not being able to be super active with my daughter and inevitably ending up in a wheel chair in my 60s has got me in a dark place mentally. I'm constantly physically in pain and work full time with overtime. But your kind words go a long way. First leaving a comment on TH-cam. Surprised someone actually responded.
I respect you for being wise enough to care for your child and health despite the disappointments and the difficulties you've been facing. I hope I will be as strong as you one day. I will pray for you, He always responds in some way or another.@@davidpineda3298
I got divorced in my mid thirties and focused on my two children. Maybe I was "high value," perhaps. Ultimately it did zero later on looking to date because many women never let you get to the point of even remotely knowing you.
I remember saying this almost verbatim two decades ago when talking to a group of female med students. These women were all fairly attractive, seemed nice enough to be around, and were going to be very successful later in life. And every single one of them could not figure out why they were still single. So I asked them what men they were looking to date, and all of them said they wanted to date men who were fellow med students. I explained to them that these guys are highly unlikely to want a long term relationship with anyone right now, specifically because they are also going to be wildly successful and have significantly more options in their futures. It was definitely an eye-opening moment for this group.
Those were med STUDENTS? I would think that more male med students would be willing to have a relationship with their fellow female med students. Why not? You get someone to talk to, emotional support, and you can schedule sex for Friday night or whatnot. Perhaps those female med students should count themselves lucky for not being used in this way. A female doctor on Quora told me "Male doctors want to marry other doctors because they understand what it is like to be a doctor." I know that more and more doctors are marrying each other, but I am skeptical. A male doctor doesn't necessarily want to prioritize a female doctor who understands what it is like to be a doctor. He would probably rather have a wife who is 5-7 years younger, is not a doctor, so she can focus more on taking care of his future children than being a doctor. I read an advice column from a woman who said, "I am in my late 30s, and just became a neurosurgeon. I delayed finding a partner until I finished my education. I want a kid before age 40. The man I have been dating for 10 weeks is wishy washy on commitment, what should I do?" She really should have looked for a partner while in medical school. A 37yo male neurosurgeon would rather date a woman 10 years younger who doesn't want to get married and have kids NOW. It makes me think that becoming a super-doctor like a neurosurgeon might be unrealistic for a woman who wants kids unless she is willing to marry a man who agrees to be a stay-at-home-dad, which most women are uninterested in.
@@truthlemonade9793do you not listen to the rates of college attendance / bacheloraureate degrees / master degrees / doctor degrees? The ratio of men to women is worse than in the 1970s when Title IX was passed to help women, and all sorts of scholarships set up solely for women. Only now attendence starts at 57 / 43 women to men and gets more imbalanced toward women from there. All these women buying into feminist propaganda climbing corporate success ladders, only to realize they've run out of time and prospects for chasing the wrong legacy. Selfish.
@@truthlemonade9793 In the case of 37 year old medical background women, perhaps they might have to put aside the idea of having children and shift their focus from men who were a few years older to men who were 10 years older. Older men were likely to be less interested in having children and who still saw 37 year old women as young. Not sure about the wishy-washy man in this example but based on known social norms, he was probably at least a few years older and perhaps not that keen on having children at all.
@@truthlemonade9793 lol the male doctors i know are not interested in female doctors they have an unlimited supply of dim nurses every single semester who throw themselves at them.
Men do value intelligence. But he's lying to you if he says her income matters. We want to show her experiences and what life has to offer; her portal to the world. While beauty matters, behaviors will always be most important for commitment from men.
100% agree, I just want to point out that a person can have High Intelligence even though they didn't go to College. In fact the more 'Degrees'/Diploma's a Woman has the harder her chances of finding that one person who meets all of her Criteria, diminishes!!
Yep. I want to find a woman to share my life, my adventures, and my opportunities with, and so has a life that I'm interested in sharing in return. I don't care one whit how much money she makes, but it is very important to me that she has built a life and career that she genuinely enjoys, is passionate about, makes her happy, and that I also find interesting even if it might very different from my own. Thus far I've only ever found one woman who checked all those boxes, but she had way too much issues and trauma to have a stable, healthy relationship with anyone...
5:04: Bingo! I waited to marry until I was sure I could support a family. I didn't hurt that my wife was well-educated and had a good career, but I was more interested in whether or not we could: (1) Take a 12 hour road trip in a tiny car without getting on each other's nerves. (2) Agree on child discipline and upbringing. (3) Build a house together. (4) Negotiate challenges without putting each other on an emotional roller coaster. (5) Compromise without holding anything over each other's heads. Are we both perfect at all these things, no. But still work at being better 12 years in...
@@Justanothercog24 Some do, but the vast majority of guys are perfectly fine with it if a woman doesen't check all of their boxes to their standards. It's a wishlist more than anything.
This is exactly why I look to couples that understand the concept of growth together. You can meet someone that checks all of your boxes but it's selfish to think they are not thinking the same. That's why both men and women must transparently compromise but still complement each other with the missing pieces and not be ashamed to do so.
Im trying not attack you personally but I hope that as a whole in 2024 we can leave the platitudes behind. "Couples that understand the concept of growth together" This is a sentence with no meaning. Just be plain and say what you mean
@@90sshuffle "Couples that understand the concept of growth together" - allow me to give you some substance to that, as a man who will celebrate his 26th wedding anniversary later this month. A relationship needs attention and contributions the same way a plant needs water and sunlight. BOTH partners need to do this on an ongoing basis. Consider the man the water and the woman the sunlight, for sake of illustrating the point: If the plant [relationship] is deprived of either, it withers and dies. The partner doesn't have to cheat, cause bodily harm, etc. for the relationship to fall apart; NEGLECT is enough. The man who stops providing, stops showing affection to his wife, stops communicating will lose his relationship. The woman who no longer attends to her husband's needs [whether in the bedroom or out], shows no appreciation for or takes for granted his work, or otherwise doesn't contribute, will also lose her relationship. One cannot let the relationship "go on automatic" - both of you need to agree on your mutual goals [and support each other's individual goals; while said individual goals don't have to always line up with mutual goals, they cannot run counter to the mutual ones]. What does that look like? Some things are common to all; e.g., how are you both going to raise your children [or are you having children]? Religion, if any? School? Do you allow corporal punishment, and if so, to what extent? Etc. Other things could be completely unique to the two of you. So it's not that the sentence has "no meaning"; it's custom defined for each person, each couple. I merely helped outline the framework. Salut.
The caliber of man a woman can get decreases with age. There is no “growing together” that makes sense for both parties. If you’re a guy and currently can’t get an attractive woman because you haven’t made it yet, waiting to date while grinding your life is 100% the best option. And expecting someone to change over time is foolish. If you don’t like what they are offering in the current moment, there is no guarantee that anything will improve. You just said a bunch of fluffy feel good nonsense.
I’m 25y/o and haven’t had a girlfriend yet. Always told myself it was because I never chased them. Finally found a great girl and we dated for four months. The truth why I never had a girl was I was so insecure. Always felt worthless and insecure so she ended it on Monday. Turned to the Bible for help but hopefully another girl rolls around soon :)
Yup work on yourself my man, keep yourself busy and be mindful of your attention don't watch to many videos stay on course. Focus on fixing those insecurities you have and understand that heartbreaks happen like this and in the long run good to have that experience you'll become more immune to them, be well my friend.
Breakups are always difficult, but 25 is still a very good age to be looking at these kinds of internal growth questions. You need to get comfortable in your own skin before any woman (who isn’t just trying to stay warm for one night) will see you as a potential partner
Hey, I am on the same boat here. 25 and relationship ended 3 months ago. I am working on myself by getting fit, getting enough sleep, etc. But, I do realize I need to work on my character because, just like you, I always had some type of insecurity. The next couple of years you should dedicate it to working on yourself and most likely you will be able to pull a woman you can build with. That's what my plan is for now.
Success in my opinion is attaining your goals (personal/financial/physical/mental etc.) without having to be manipulative, lie, cheat, steal, be exploitive, or treat people wrong to get where you want. That and how honest you are with yourself, and how much respect you currently treat yourself and others with, especially people inevitably in your life who aren't always or almost never on the same page with certain things.
@@evansmith8824 I have definitely learned lots & lots of things the hard way, and even being a generally terrible person at one time, at least a lot more than now 😅
@@mattlopez47I think pretty much everyone learns the hard way in something. If we didn't we would be "perfect" which doesn't really exist. I think that's what people maybe have a hard time understanding. We can always learn and grow with something. If we were maybe more sympathetic and maybe supportive as a society with this rather dismissive which I think maybe could be a old fight or flight response to this. We aren't too far away from having to fight for our lives if something was off with someone you never know. I think there's a right way of going about things and a process for pretty much everything. It's how we go about that process that's key.
"Finding someone to make you happy" is outdated from last century. Finding your purpose and finding your peace is alot more rewarding, beneficial and it attracts the right energy
Do not look for love within others, true love come from within. Dating requires 1 thing and 1 thing only. Respect. Look for someone who respects you. That's all you ever need.
My standards to date a woman are pretty simple and basic. Be pretty (not a supermodel or movie star, just somewhat pretty), be pleasant to be around and not an angry, bitter shrew, and don't have a massive body count. That's pretty much it.
I guess it's like this for about 95% of men. And yet it's hard, and gets increasingly harder, to find a woman who meets even those reasonable, down-to-earth standards.
@@kidddtho I can only speak for myself, but double digits becomes a concern. Body counts in the hundreds is a major, major red flag, regardless of gender.
This does not even come close to capturing how much harder and more frustrating dating is for most men than it is for most women. The gap is so enormous that there is literally no way women can understand it.
I couldn't agree with you more. I could ask a thousand women on a date where I live and I'd get rejected a thousand times despite being six feet tall and making over six figures. The last woman I asked for feedback regarding a rejection said it was because of my hairline (appreciate the honesty but, sadly, not too much I can do about it). I have also been told to my face "why date you when I can get somewhere way hotter with a swipe." Chad is very available for the fun but good luck with getting him to commit. Thankfully, I learned dating is so much easier outside the United States. I'm very thankful to have discovered the Passport Bro movement and encourage every man I know to date foreign women. It's refreshing!
The only woman on earth Whoever has literally deleted herself because of the hatred she was building for her own gender the way that they treated her when they thought she was a man😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 rest in peace Norah Vincent😢
@@szn1580who the hell told you so? Have you ever been afraid for your life on a date? Has any woman ever threatened your life? And we face it while dating
If you take care of both your physical and mental health. You should be fine. I've met peoke friends n their 70s and 80s that regularly go hiking and running. Tske care of yourself and yiu will have mire time with your kids.
I don’t think 60 would be considered old, of course it isn’t the same as being 40 or 50 but by no means is it considered old. You can still be in perfectly good health by then depending on your habits in life imo
I will be 61 when my youngest becomes 20. When the kids were little and super active I was doing just fine physically. Now that I am 55 I do not go racing after them but they do not need that from me anymore. My kids need help navigating school\dating and I can offer tons of help in these areas so all is great. I found a wife that l likes to save even more than me right from the start while dating. She the first woman that did not spend lots of my money. I met her in grad school and she was from India.
Nah, waiting till late 30s/ early 40s is the way to go for men in terms of having kids. Much better father material than some 25 year old kid who doesn’t know what the hell he is doing.
Frankly I'm just a little bummed that I made it in terms of career success without having a woman to struggle my way there with -- now I have to be careful not to show that status too much because I don't want to attract anyone for the wrong reasons
You can never make it enough for many modern women anyway. I made it to where I wanted to be. I made it to the top 2% income bracket as an independent consultant by my late 30s. I am not very materialistic or status driven, so my aspiration was always to retain this work, which I enjoy, with an acceptable work/life balance and be in a position to start cutting back how much I "need" to earn by my late 50s. This wasn't an important factor in my last partner picking me, but as soon as we were in a committed relationship, my lack of desire for more became something she was critical of. When I asked her to show me the sort of house she thought we should aspire to live in, she showed me one that cost £1.4m - an amount that would require me to step up in income and retire later. She could bring the equivalent of about 400k to the table on this in terms of equity and repayment ability, leaving me to fund a million pounds. Modern women seem to view men and relationships partly as a transactional means to an end. We need to fulfil their desire to work less and have more. We are expected to treat them as equals, whilst also being more than they are - more ambitious, more hardworking, more driven. I ALREADY was all of those things, earning more than double what she did... but it is seemingly never enough. It seems like they aren't happy unless they are making you feel inadequate. That one conversation led me to re-assess where I am at in life after we split. I stepped away from independent work and went back to full time employment on 50% less money - just inside the top 5% bracket - for less hours and less stress doing more interesting work. I work out most mornings now before work. I do about 40hrs a week. I am in a good place, and I don't give a shit about what any woman thinks about it. I live my life for me.
@@lightofall Haha that would never interest me. I mean it could never be a factor for me to want a woman, unless if she would be super beautiful with a nice personality and happy all together. hen it would be a plus. Not definitely as some main factor. And I am pretty sure that I speak for most men when I say that.
I got really sick and am now pretty much a financial liability for the rest of my life (goodbye women). And as embarrassing as that is, it’s honestly kind of liberating to have an excuse not to worry about any of this insufferable bullshit anymore.
Isn't it crazy how your poor health, in a weird twist of fate has become.... Liberating? I'm happy for you, I hope you find a way to make life fulfilling and find contentment in life.
if you can type, you can become a programmer or work in IT (said to me by a guy whose worked as a programmer for years)....and a lof of those jobs are remote....ive been dragging my feet for while now....but if i were to become a "financial liability" to anyone that would 100,000% light a fire under my ass!
I agree with you Courtney. Unfortunately, there are some that only push what they want in someone else without considering what that person he/she is interested wants.
Hi Courtney, "A bird in the hand is better than an egg in the bush". You never know when you will meet that someone and passing on him/her because you think will find someone better in the future seems ridiculous! Hope that you and your husband have a great weekend!
If You Continue To Do - What You’ve Always Done You Will Continue To Get - What You’ve Always Got Doing The Same Thing - Thinking Your Going To Get a Different Result!
If you hear a woman say shes in a situationship. This is the girl thats actually dating a guy thats dating 5 other women, and settling for none of them. They used to just say a woman was dating out of her league. Gen z women are attempting to rebrand it.
I'm so sick of this mindset today about checking boxes and all that stuff. Sure, have some standards and avoid red flags, but why do we have to mathematically determine if someone fits within some predetermined criteria all the time? I just want to find someone who I have a strong connection with and vice versa. I don't need someone to be perfect, I don't need to find the best person ever, I just want someone who will make me happy, who I can make happy, and together can raise good kids who will be happy.
@@mormegil84 just remember bezos got divorced and his kids arent even his. that is what hypergamy does. the worlds richest man for a while had no chance so how can the rest.
This is true, after my divorce I just focused on myself and my daily grind. I'm financially independent, make six figures, I have multiple real-estate properties, and I have a side business that makes a decent amount as well. I'm on dating apps just to re-learn the "game"
Put all of properties and assests into a Living Family Trust, and assign a trusted 3rd Party Trustee to oversee the Trust on your behalf... Do not enter into any living arrangement(s) with a Women before you set this up.
I know more and more men that are just doing sugar dating now. I guess woman have become so difficult that it is just cheaper and easier to just rent them. I did ask a guy why he was doing it and said that when he was married he paid for basically everything and his wife wouldn’t put out so now he just has an arrangement that is actually a lot cheaper with a much younger and more attractive woman.
I'm 35-year-old, not balding and not overweight, 5'5 and I never had a girlfriend or wife. The only women who have ever loved me is my dear mother. She was of a generation where women were women, not these social media freaks you have these days with ridicules' body count and who can't cook to save their lives. Anyways, Thank You For listening to My TED Talk
I married my wife when I was 35 and she was 27. It took me 15 years to find a woman worth taking the risk with. A woman’s looks catches my attention. Her character, intelligence, and personality keeps my attention. My wife has all of those.
@@stevec3526 Through some extraordinary fluke of luck, I dated a beautiful and fully compassionate Indian girl my own age. Things moved forward gracefully until Covid upended her life, and she chose to move home to take care and be with her family. Even if I could find an American date, I don't think I could settle with an American. My ex ruined dating for me, not just with her beauty, but with her character.
7:00 what is offensive about this? the fact that the person hearing this statement may not meet his standards? why does he have to tailor his speech to avoid hurting the feelings of women that don't measure up to his standards? women talk about over 6 feet tall, 6 figures & gym bods, things that men don't have all the time. the average american income is like $30K most men don't have 6 figures. do men cry about it when women don't state their preferences in the most elegant way? on the internet, sure. but men don't try to tell women how to speak & word what they say to tailor it to men's feelings. besides, as men, we all know modern american western women don't give a flying fuck about men's feelings. especially when it comes to dating & whether men meet women's standards or not.
Thinking in terms of what I have to offer that a woman may be looking for has been really helpful for me. Instead of just focusing on my flaws, I am accepting my positives. This makes it so much easier to work on the things I need to work on without all the self-doubt. I find I have more confidence and it's easier to relax and show who I am, instead of trying to apply some magical formula when I meet someone I really like.
A video on dating predictions sounds great. Very much looking forward to it. Movies, TV shows etc etc are pushing a lot of cultural standards that absolutely have a negative effect. Looks like culture is catching on to the trend. In closing, I am heavily interested in seeing a video and reading the comments on this topic. Great video and mad props 👏 👏👏💯
I don't understand any of this. The simple fact of the matter is that men (generally speaking) don't care how much money a girl makes or what kind of job she has. Hell we will marry the girl at the McDonalds drive thru if she is cute, pretty sweet and easy to get along with ie can she emotionally pair bond with you. Yet women get so hung up about what kind of a job a man has or how much money he makes. The simple fact of the matter is that generally speaking, men don't care in the slightest about any of that at all. It makes no sense at all.
Courtney, the problem with women is, after they've slept with Chad and Tyrone, they think that that's what they can get; they think that is their level, since they got Chad and Tyrone to sleep with them. What they don't realize is that Chad and Tyrone have options, and that they don't have to commit to anyone; they don't realize that Chad and Tyrone are above their level. When a woman reaches her late 20s after a series of situationships, she realizes that 30 is staring her in the face, and that her friends are starting to get married. She then figures that it's time to find her sucker, to find her nice guy. Even though these guys are on her level, looks wise; even though these guys are appropriate matches for them; these women view them as below their level, and they think that they're settling. That's because, after a series of situationships with Chad and Tyrone, they're now alpha widowed. They'll come to resent, and eventually hate, their husbands they settled for.
This is nothing new. There are decades, hell, centuries of advice about how to "catch" or "land" a man. Any decently attractive woman can get Chad by being cute, laughing at his jokes, and spreading her legs, but getting a man with options to commit and give her free retirement in her 20s/30s is harder.
FOMO is a double edged sword for both men and women. I would like the dating prediction video. Congrats on your success and hope your content gets you to 1,000,000 subscribers by the end of 2024. Another cool video would be to have an attractive female, who could be potentially popular on a dating platform, use an average male profile to see the difference between the two experiences. Then you could do a follow up video on how a couple changes to turn the average male profile into better performing, which means more opportunities to meet someone great. Sometimes all you have to do is get through the closed door.
fomo affects women vastly more than men. men don't get fomo because they *know* they are missing out from the get go, and they know what they're missing out on.
I date in NYC. Yes successful men here want a really hot woman, but speaking for myself and other men here I know who are successful and well put together were much more concerned with a woman’s behavior. There is absolutely no shortage of single, hot women with great careers here in NYC. However finding a loving and nurturing woman who understands men here is rare. These beautiful women here don’t seem to understand that guys who have their lives together are as picky as they are.
The problem with the red pill is they keep saying women just want money when it's not true. They just have incredibly high looks standards when it comes to the men they actually desire... People who disagree obviously don't see how women react to top 1% looking guys online or on live streams compared to other men. It's literally a night and day difference
I am basically in same situation as that dude, except my time frame is 3-4 years. But thanks to lifting weights consistently for almost 5 years, cleaning up my diet a bit, getting tattoos, improving my social skills I have skyrocketed on the market. Soon I'll be done with my education in a field that I love and has a promising future. Being almost 32 I am in zero hurry. I know what I want and I am 100% confident I will find it. In the meantime I will just enjoy my life, for the first time.
Men need to realize being in 30s-50s is the end of the world. You can still find a quality younger attractive woman just need to keep up with your appearance and purpose as a man. When your well put together and have worked on yourself and secure and stable it will be easy to attract decent women compared to trying to while your building yourself up still
Maybe you're focusing too much on some fantasy future and passing up a great partner that knows you in the present at your most humble. Then you'd know they're not going to be using you once you become "successful"
You made so many good points here I wish I could have a whole conversation about this. You were very fair here and I loved how you touched on the woman taking accountability on finding someone who wants what she wants rather than trying to change someone. As a man, I’ve had to deal with trying to tell someone I don’t want the same things as them and that someone else could fulfill those needs much better. But still she would rather be with me. At least she doesn’t try to change me.
Sometimes it’s best to meet someone in a social setting. She might have some attributes that you didn’t know you liked in a woman. It shouldn’t be based on checklists either. Good relationships take time to develop in my opinion.
0:32 funny how men simply having standards & options "scars her" because she knows she most likely doesn't measure up to his standards. because they're friends, he'd never tell her that outright. if she did measure up to his standards, she would be dating him herself lol smh
There used to be a saying that behind every great man there was a great woman, this seems to have been forgotten that success is most often a couple's affair. I haven't met many successful people in my life who did it alone, normally its because one has drive and the other has organisational skills, or something to that effect. Waiting to find an individual with success to disseminate seems a little foolish and highly unlikely.
I live in a town with many women who have Masters and PhD degrees. A lot of my female acquaintances really can't understand why top-shelf men aren't interested in them. Some of these women have pretty much turned themselves into the men they want, and then are confused when the men they want don't want them (except for sex if they're pretty). Add in the fact that the good-looking women tend to be passed around by the same top shelf men, and the situation gets ugly for them. They become angry, bitter, and jaded like the woman in your video. BTW, the man who was honest with her probably considered her to be a "Mid-Twenty-seven" and had little interest in her.
Which proves men are the problem : you can't want a young woman to ditch her financial independence for a man, if he leaves it's poverty. If you're looking for a wife and don't care about her professionnal situation, you don't care about your children's chances financially. Women in their 30s have money, stability and maternity leave...
Women already lowkey hate men and have unreasonable expectations for them. At least when they depended on men for things they had to sort of pretend they liked us. Now imagine that you're faced with the prospect of dating a woman who not only hates men and expects too much from them, but don't need them for anything, AND thinks she's a big deal because she got a degree and a job? What kind of toxic attitude is that woman going to have? What's that relationship going to be like? Of course men are going to nope out of anything except a one night stand or harem situationship - and of course the men getting those are going to be the "top shelf" men with options.
Why is anyone surprised by people wanting the best they can get? It's completely normal. What's not normal is the high view we have of ourselves. You deserve the things you have EARNED. Nothing more. Nothing about our new technology has changed how people should act. Every time you hear a "secret easy way" to reach a goal, think scam. The work you do on the journey is the only true way to reach goals. IVF doesn't give you a family.
All the future single 34 year old woman who spent her 20s going after the bad boys and getting ran through " Why can't I find a good man? Where are the good men at?" They're all under 6ft and/or in the friend zone. All the men you ignored because you were going after the 6ft+ F Boys for all your youth are now married with happy healthy fulfilling relationships, either with a high value woman or they found peace with being single as the best version of themselves.
Ok seriously so you are telling me that no man would actually date a woman his own age? Seriously are you saying 40 year old and higher men should date a 20 year old? Men sleep around just like women. If you want to hold me accountable for things as a woman then you should have your own sexual past held against you. The standards of both sides are bad. I know I made the right chioce by walking away from online dating and in essence dating period. I found no man who wasn't intereste din a hook up 90% of them well to be hoenst. Were all about hooking up even though I told them online that I wouldn't do that. Why did they act like they were entitled to have sex? I finally walked away from the idea that I was a loser at 37 for being single 5 years later I am happier and fulfilled without that trap that they taught me. Not all women need to be married and have kids to be happy. Just like not all men need that. If a man is too pathetic to date a woman around his age then that is on him and shows how immature he is. What does it matter how old she is? There are many ways to have children. So again if you are 40 and you are dating a 20 year old wow you really are pathetic.
There will come a time where arranged marriages will make a come back. Either mothers and fathers are going to force their daughters or maybe even the daughters will beg their parents. But it will return in the future.
While physical attraction plays a part in who we want to be with, it’s not the end all, be all of a relationship. Thinking like that dooms the relationship from the get go. intelligence (especially financial intelligence) helps a lot, as well as having personalities that bounce off each other, having common interests, and talking things out instead of going straight to drama are BIG pluses. And of course, having a woman who is in touch with her feminine side is nice. I’m sure someone else said something similar to this, but’s it’s just my two cents. Nice video.
You know maybe, just maybe, if people would look for someone they love instead of what "blocks" they "check" people might be more successful in their quest for happiness.
I’m not sure if it’s me or the ladies I’m meeting. Probably me idk, I’ve been following your channel for awhile now and I’ve been taking notes to what you’re saying. For some reason though a lot of women I meet they seem nice and sweet to me, but they don’t want to get married after how many years dating and don’t want kids eventually. So either I’m missing something or I’m in the wrong era when it comes to dating.
@@iancavon7125 A woman with no mother instinct? That is the biggest red flag you can get. That means something in her brain is malfunctioning badly and it will show eventually.
This guy, along with many other men, recognizes that he will have more options to land a quality partner in the future while young, attractive women realize they have more options now and likely won't in the future. These women try to land their perfect guy earlier while guys like this know they can wait it out. Different strategies, but same goal to get the best person possible by using people along the way. I do not like either strategy but this girl is only upset because the man's strategy counter acts hers.
Yes, but what men like that career guy never take into account is that when they're finally at the top of their value they'll most likely end up with not a genuine quality partner but a cunning gold digger who "loves" them for mainly materialistic reasons. Sure, such a woman will have the looks of a trophy wife, but she'll be shallow, cold, and scheming -- divorce almost guaranteed, or even planned ahead. That's not quality. Better to look for a serious relationship while there's still a (greater) chance of being loved for yourself, not for your status and money.
@@iancavon7125 Could not agree more. That is why I said I disagreed with both strategies. My point was that the cute girl in the video was upset about it even though she is doing a similar strategy.
@@iancavon7125 Just because a man gains more options doesn't automatically mean he is going to choose a bad one. Men have a lower bar when it comes to a woman's physical attractiveness. This is especially true when the man is older and he's less driven by his hormones.
@@iancavon7125Exactly. Tbh I just graduated school in a high earning field and I expect to be making pretty good money in the next few years. It kinda depresses me because right now I do okay with women but I haven’t found “the one” yet. Sometimes I wonder if my finances will change my dating success for the wrong reasons. I want to be loved for the person I am but it doesn’t seem like enough.
@@man_of_iron I am not so sure after observing the situation. It appears that the older men have become, the more they want to find women that is either in the 20s or as close to the 20s as possible. When they end up with women that are much younger but closer to their own age group (such as F33 with M40), some of these men may not be very happy. It is socially acceptable to tell older women they have less options. Try suggesting to older men with some $$$ that perhaps they need to adjust their expectations, the response is probably not very friendly. 😊😊
I seen your channel pop up and was like oh yaaah. There was a time where I actually was trying to find a relationship... its just ptsd residue now. I don't give women any attention, compliments, advice, or the time of day now. I know i don't have anything that matters to women. So now that I'm comfortable alone, Im never changing that. Your channel is so thoughtful it almost makes me want to date again but.. my cats and I are content
They aren't finally realizing it, they've known about it forEVER. Men are starting to realize it and women are pissed that we aren't playing their stupid games anymore.
Spot on Courtney. It shouldn’t sound controversial but some people focus on the soul, not merely the material things. A desirable mind and body will follow. I would say a better tactic is to create a checklist for desired qualities for yourself, work on them and if you exhibit those qualities God will send people with the same qualities to you. Be humble, kind, hard-working and discerning in a smart way and you will eventually find people and friends that value you for those qualities and not your checkbook.
It's hilarious in a very depressing way to me that women think men care how much money they make. The only part of career aspects I care about is social status, and I care about that fairly little. For example, it would be strange to see a doctor married to a woman who works at a fast food restaurant. By my measure, women need to be physically attractive (5/10 and up), be friendly, supportive, and have similar values to me. That's it. It's really not that hard. The women who are having trouble are the ones who are trying to date this woman's friend. He sounds like a 10/10 guy. Like he said, there is no pressure for him to settle down. He can pump and dump to his hearts content. Women, stop trying to date above the level you can retain. Just because they'll sleep with you does not mean they view you as long term material.
That is just why I stopped dating that's all men want women for, I am done with this rigged game. I'm happier now that I am no longer being pressured by men. I think it is important to learn about yourself. Also to remember that being single as a woman is not bad. Infact the Bible tells us that not all of us are made for marraige. That's a fact. Those who want and need familise sure. The pressures come from society and they are wrong! I can't tell you how many lies I heard from movies and books and just school I went to. Acting like there is a soul mate, or the one or whatever you want to call it. I also do not believe in love at first sight. It's just a myth. I think that men and women both can flourish single if they realize that the pressures of society can be ignored. I'm 42 and I have family and friends I'm not alone and I respect men! I'm not a fem who hates men just for existing. I do think the double standards need to stop. That is why I walked away from dating. You pressure us into sex then refuse to get married to the girls you pressured into sex. How is that ok? It's really not ok. If you want modest women to marry then be better men.
As someone who is planning to re-enter the dating scene later this year, I would love to see a video giving your predictions on dating shifts for 2024 👍
Women are making more money than ever before, so women not caring so much about how much a dude makes and only wanting to deal with top 2% looking guys only is going to be the future
When people date and are really in it to win it, I hope they don't overlook the two "Cs" : chemistry and compatibility. Once I realized how important those two things are, it narrowed my focus completely.
Chemistry is not enough. Because that might just be sexual attraction and leads to lust (sometimes) but not love. - I agree with you. But potential love and chemistry is even more important then compatibility. Because when there is love you'll make it work even when you are "not" fully compatible. And you'll do it with a smile on your face. But if it is only compatibility you might work because you are compatible. But it will still be only superficial - So yes I agree with you with the two "Cs" but I would add the heart and align it in the hierarchy of 'the Heart (love or potential for love) - chemistry and compatibility.
@@Atlas65 You don't need a partner for love. Love comes from within. Compatibility is not important at all. There is 1 thing and only 1 thing important in choosing a mate, respect. Respect is all you ever need in any relationship, whether a romantic or a business relationship.
I really hate that saying “build a garden then the butterflies will come” I see so many people comment that and it’s so f****** not true. I got a good job, licenses and certificates, on the verge of owning a home, I have 3 retirement plans and a bunch of other great things and I STILL can’t get a GF. These girls want the absolute BEST.
It seems to me that almost all women want the top 5% of men on paper (6ft, 6 figure income, and very fit). Yet, those guys know that, so they won't commit. So I agree there is a disconnect between men and women. Personally when I see a laundry list of requirements, I move on.
I can definitely appreciate your pretty objective perspective on dating. The only thing I’d say is you kind of make it seem like there are plenty of high earning guys that are tall, good looking, in shape, etc. when in reality there really isn’t. It’s less than 1% of the population. Prob closer to .2-.5%. If you tell females “there’s plenty of those guys out there” it’s not really helping their delusions. You need to flat out explain that women need to change their expectations of finding a guy who makes 6 figures and be comfortable finding a good hard working man earning $55k-$85k a year. Less than 10% of people make over 6 figures and half of that 10% are women, or someone not on the dating market. So literally 90% of women are competing for the same 2-5%. And that’s just earning, that doesn’t include looks, personality, background. Some of those guys could be huge lards, gay, or weirdos. Men are literally not picky at all. We just want loyalty, supportiveness, respect, and a teammate. Women are far more the issue here compared to men. I’d highly recommend to women considering more men in the trades. Trade jobs aren’t that high earning in the beginning but over time lots of guys get their experience for 10ish years then go off and start their own business. An electrician might only make $25/hr in the beginning but if he starts his own company he can easily be making $250k+ a year. Tons of women miss that completely. Guys in the trade can build, fix, and make things nice. They are down to earth, funny, strong, manly men. All the things girls want. The only thing preventing them from dating a tradesman is usually a lower income in the beginning. Ladies, go for tradesmen. It will solve 90% of your problems. They will protect you and be loyal for a lifetime. What more do you want? Most women think they are too good for construction workers/tradesmen. Even you ladies with meaningless college degrees. Allow me to humble you real quick. YOU AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR A TRADESMAN, THEY BRING FAR MORE VALUE TO THIS EARTH THAN YOU DO!!! Let that sink in real quick and let it marinate before all you feminists start blowing a head gasket. All of you are delusional and need to get checked ✅
Hello Courtney, I have commented before and do love your channel. So, from my perspective, I'd say that the biggest issue is that there are so many unrealistic expectations of dating and that materialism has also become a major factor. You made an interesting comment in your video that is certainly my dating experience, and that is women wanting you to meet an ideal rather than accepting you for who you are. It's perfectly normal to have expectations of a partner, but is the list really so rigid, we are, after all, just human. My predictions for the future of dating are that lots of single men and women who have a reluctance to become involved with the opposite sex.social media really does not help and to many people are engrossed in its form and are embroiled in its power. What ever happened to loving a person for who they are rather than what they own or can provide?
I am a silicon valley engineer and married when I was 35. My wife was a waitress and was 22 when we met. She was kind, looking for a husband, and amazingly great with kids. We have 4 children and have been married now for 24 years.
The problem is girls in their 20’s don’t believe they are mid. The large majority think they are a great option for all guys and no work/effort is required on their end. I have 100+ matches on hinge and maybe 5-10% are actually girlfriend material. I hate to generalize, but most women do not realize they are not putting in any effort. Their 100%, is actually just the bare minimum. It’s a huge problem I see across dating.
Guys work on yourself if you put in work on money and fitness you will have tons of options later on. Even in your 50s to 60s. If women can have standards then so can we , it’s okay to date younger prettier women with less baggage.
A guy who makes enough money to be self-sufficient has no need of a 'high earning woman". Women think that the stuff that impresses their female friends also impresses high value men, but they couldn't be more wrong.
Honestly, with what I've seen in the last few years in this horrific dating world, it's very difficult to keep trying. If these are my options, I may be better off alone
Being alone is the worst condition a human can experience. Life cannot be lived alone. Life is about people. If no one will miss you when you die, what is the point.
I feel like the big differnece between dating for mean and women these days is that on average the latter gets overwhelmed with options and the former gets no options which I thought would be addressed in this video but was not. Until women come to grips with that and the fact that what little attention women do give is to the same small number of men who have no incentive for things to change nothing will change.
Dear Courtney, my name is Paul Jones. I just wanted to thank you for your channel I have learn a lot about dating and your counseling of self- image you made a very good difference in my life I'm have a lot more confidence in my self. Keep up the good work. I know you made a good difference in other people life.
Men understand the materialistic nature of women and they find superficial objects attractive. No matter how many times women are told that men aren’t near as superficial and materialistic as women they refuse to listen to
From my perspective it is very hard to combine two careers as a couple without making compromises. Men go for younger women not only for their looks, but also in hope that the younger woman is more able/willing to compromise. My first gf left me because of her career. It was a hard lesson, but a lesson learned. Also, being in a relationship, and maintaining a relationship in a constructive way is something that needs to be learned. You become good at what you do most: If you stay single by choice, you will be good at being single, if you prioritize relationships, chances are that you will be able to maintain one in the future. In that sense, if you delay that forever relationship with your soulmate, you may not be prepared of it after all, because of the lack of relationship experience. Secondly, while men can delay fatherhood, waiting until their 40s will increase risk factors, aside from the aspect that your child might prefer growing up with a younger and more active father. There is is only one thing that is truly finite for all of us, and that is time.
super disappointing when dudes act like your forties are some sort of geriatric death sentence. I'm almost 39 and am in better shape than most 20 somethings. Ill tell you straight up, I've never attracted more females in my life than now. if a man is wanting to play the long game and utilize the strategy from the video, obviously it is paramount you maintain a physical fitness level that is competitive with her other potential suitors. what's a joke is dudes thinking they're gonna make some money at the expense of their health and it's going to make them more attractive. It's actually just going to make you a mark.
@@laktes8443 Right, you will attract more women in your 40s if you lived your life well. That was also the case for me. The issue however is that if you are family-oriented, you are running out of time quickly. Younger parents handle the stress of having kids better. It's also easier to make compromises earlier in your career. I became a father at 35, and from my perspective that was the longest I was willing to wait, and that was for the child's sake, regardless of the age of the mother of how many women I was able to attract. There is a distinct difference between being able to father a child and being able to raise one. Do you want to live long enough to see your child succeed? Do you want to see your grandchildren?
Horrible mindset. Imagine spending half of your "non-retirement" life just so a "hot girl" (whose looks will start to fade around 32) can secure the bag? How is that a win? Having a woman be with you for your money? Humiliating if anything.
@@aleksandar4756 I don't see how you guys don't get it. Women care about security and safety. It isn't that she's directly after your money. It's as evolutionary as you being after her looks via "healthiness" or 5/10 or above.
what are worth experiences which are not earned? Tell me, dude.. you got to suffer to feel success. This is why weman are still in their infancy after all the sociatal investmen that has been put into giving them same oppurtunies and equality. @@beowulf_of_wall_st
The woman from the first video forgot to mention the part where from 18 to 28 that man wasn't noticed by any woman his age. If they don't want us in their prime, we don't want them in their decline. ESPECIALLY when we've built ourselves up and have our pick of any woman as a successful 32 year old.
On the list of things that are first going in descending order are just not the same between men and women you might have exceptions, but the majority are going to be different, especially based on goals and usually the grass is greener in someone’s yard over their septic tank, so be careful, jumping fences for other peoples, joy, happiness, and so on because you never know what’s beneath it
Men understand their competition and women do not. For some reason, most women feel they’ll have unlimited access to top men. Hell…even in top markets it’s tough for women. He’s right, as long as he makes money…he can be 39 and nap a 21 year old . I’ve seen it.
I would really appreciate a dating predictions video. I think Hikikomori is the future of dating. There will be more and more men in the bottom 80% who socially withdraw and quit dating to be alone. I think women will start becoming more conservative, abandoning feminism & liberalism, waking up to how toxic most feminists are, with their hatred and resentment of men - along with all the other crazy ideologies of the far left. Last year I spoke to 3 women who turned away from the left and feminism. This whole process will probably take decades
@@mikefran1992 from my experience, an easy way to filter out immoral women who have no self control is to just go to a church. I am close friends with a Christian girl who’s about 24, still a virgin and quite beautiful (a lot of men find her physically attractive). Genuine Christian women in church are submissive as well, it clearly says in the Bible that women must submit to their husbands. I am sure this applies to other religions like Islam and Judaism too, I’m just using Christianity as an example because I’m a Christian. I enjoy being friends with her as she restores my faith in humanity that pure, innocent and beautiful women with morals do exist. I think a woman’s parents play a huge role. My ex had a history of sleeping around, hope a plethora of mental health issues, and was a hardcore feminist who believed she was oppressed by the patriarchy, casual sex was “empowering” for women, and “consent” magically makes any sexual morally justifiable. It’s no surprise that her mum was an absolute psycho and she had to move out, her entire family have cut the mother off. In a way you can forgive people for their evil actions when you really understand they are a product of their environment and their parents. But of course once you are an adult it’s your responsibility to sort yourself out.
I am fairly familiar with Japan since the late 1980s. Back then, the concept of arranged marriage had collapsed and young women rejected the old fashioned notion that they automatically gave up work when married. They wanted to earn their own money and say single. The net result is men and women are increasingly disengaged, Hikikomori, 'hookups' and the even weirder concept which you can see on TH-cam of 'renting a girlfriend' by the day.
@@brianthesnail3815 thank you for your comment, that’s really informative. As someone who’s familiar with Japan, do you agree that this distopia could be the future of the west? I know I sound pessimistic and I really don’t like to be. I’m almost ALWAYS an optimist. In the far far future I do have hope that it will all resolve. Perhaps women will go back to more traditional and conservative values as a response to so many men socially withdrawing. This is a controversial statement to say considering how woke some people are, but I do believe that women will get sick and tired of behaving like men, as feminism has taught them - and want to return to their biological & traditional role of being a mother and not working. Interested to hear your thoughts.
@@chenugent Yes I do believe that Western societies will follow Japan. Its already very visible in Italy where again young women specifically rejected marriage because it typically meant giving up work and living in the home of the mother in law with her husband. In large part this is being driven by basic economics. From a woman's point of view, she will typically look to 'marry up' and increase her economic position relative to where she is now. That means marrying a higher earning man. However, women now have their own earning power. That sets the bar far higher for the men they want to date and marry.
I really like your channel because of your middle-ground outlook. I have been feeling like a migtow, then realizing I was to far to that side. Your videos got me back to, "maybe I should open up to dating again?' I'm a hell of a guy. Many girls I know say your so good looking why don't ya have a girlfriend? I'd just like my equal. But I've been dating a long time and I see that most attractive girls are married or have a boyfriend. The things you see, are not necessarily the things you can find. Thanks for getting me out of the migtow frame of mind. Keep up the good work. thanks. again
That happened for me as well. Complete got out of dating for years and years focused complete on my self, got my house in order. Then came to find out 32 was getting really really late in the game.
M69 here. This video makes me laugh. All of these young people who think if they check all the boxes they can have everything they want. There is an old saying. Life is what happens while you are making other plans. The fact is you can do everything right and still not get what you want. Everyone is so overly focused on getting what they want. Maybe someone should start thinking about what they can give.
I spent 10 years focusing on building my career, not to get some hot 21 year old when I'm 30, but because that's how long it took me to make enough to be confident I could support a family. But it also does seem that at least on the surface that many women are way more interested in status than anything else. I was 6'1" and very athletic in my 20s but no one was at all interested in my 30k a year salary. I'm now just over 30, still reasonably athletic, but now have the 6 figure income. It's funny to me how much that one thing seems to change the picture. But, I also think it's now harder for me to "fall for someone" in the same way as may have been possible in the past. I'm far more set in my ways, much more independent, and maybe even slightly less agreeable. I can no longer build a life together with someone in the same way as when I was 20, because everything I have I achieved on my own. So those are factors to consider if you decide to wait until you're established.
Things will change but I promise it’ll be for the worst. With bad advice from tik tok and Twitter/X and more people becoming chronically online it’s not realistic to expect dating to ever get better. I don’t want to sound negative but it’s been getting worse and worse every year
I earn a 6 figure salary have a 7 fig net worth and don't advertise that it other than I drop a hint, like traveling around the world. I'm fit and kinda attractive but barely get any responses on dating sites. Oh well, better to be single than land a gold digger.
Men don't date for money. They date for youth and beauty. Women are the ones who date for money and status. Personality is the icing on the cake for most people.
Completely agree with what Courtney is saying in this video. I lived in NYC for 14 years, mostly in Manhattan. It's the worst place for dating. Would not recommend. That guy was honest with the woman in the TikTok video.
Every time i watch one of Courtneys videos discussing dating the general impression i get from the comments is that its a painful process, finding your ideal match of a partner is not easy, fair enough, but its ultimately worthwhile , a lot of things in life arent easy Be more social would be my advice
Ultimately worthwhile yes. But then again will those same people say that a few years from now? No, some of those will have been cheated on and either divorced or broken up. Sad but it is a reality.
I will say that sometimes people overestimate the options that they actually have, only leaving them disappointed when reality strikes.
Accurate lol
Google search ****Golden penis syndrome**** you will see hundred off articles confirming these college educated high earning guys have the golden ticket to Veejayjay. The corporate lawyer from Princeton,a physician from Duke or Columbia or have a FAANG senior Software Engineer from MIT or Stanford can make $400k+. Those average looks guys become very attractive around 27-28 because 25 is when women realize how different their lives will be with a guy who is on the way to make $400k vs a guy making $75k. Most start making big bank at ~33-34 and their dating pool is massive. And they know it.
Ehhh. Do we really think this guy working in Private Equity has low options? He'll be clearing around half a mil with bonus in 2-3 years. I'm putting my cards on him being able to land an Instagram model. The only issue is if you lead with the money, you attract people who want you for the lifestyle. Sure, they'll still love you, F you, etc. But without the gravy train, they most likely won't be around.
Do you need Ivy League research studies research to confirm there are not enough well educated wealthy men for all the beautiful women who want one. The research is consistent ****“Mating markets and bargaining hands: Mate preferences for attractiveness and resources in two national U.S. studies “**** Fale Et al and ****“Mismatches in the marriage market”**** Lichter Et aI. one of latter studies authors Price summarized “results indicate that there does seem to be a large structural mismatch in the marriage market with a shortage of men with college degrees and higher incomes.” “What might be causing this mismatch in the marriage market? Two patterns provide the strongest explanation. First, women are more likely to obtain a college degree compared to men (with women obtaining over 57% of the bachelor’s degrees). Second, ****there is strong evidence of hypergamy with men seeking out a spouse who is younger and has less education.**** The combination of these two patterns leaves a large number of highly educated women with a lower chance of finding a possible match.”…….try to get these guys in college or early in their careers because once they start making big bank it’s a nightmare trying to get one. Them streets is hard.
@@CourtneyRyan If he is comparing the options he would have today with the options he would have in 2-4 years, the over or under estimation seems to cancel out.
I used to work at this office as an Accountant, and all the married women wanted to go out with me. That schocked me and scared me at the same time because I though about myself being married one day and my wife cheating on me behind my back.
Well put. They act just as scandalous as some men, sometimes worse.
Yes, I was going through a divorce in a fairly small town a few years ago and was alarmed at the number of married women that started flirting with me. I travel for work and always have, so I looked at them as though I would be jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. No thanks.
Same here. Humbly, I’m told I’m a very good looking guy, and I’ve been hit on by tons of women. Many of them married. Kinda ruined the whole married dream for me. A lot of women absolutely cannot control themselves around very good looking guys, married or not.
EVERY DAY
@@truthteller4442How old are you?
In 2024 we should all collectively get off social media and realize that it’s easier to go outside and not to be tooo picky
Getting women off social media is like getting men off porn😂
Seriously..
You mean women. Men have perfectly reasonable standards and women refuse to meet them because they're just skanks.
You really assume that people are not going outside if they on social media? They are not having human interactions, they are nt meeting people instead or because they are on social media?Wild.
@@VeeShenge either way, their life will vastly improve if they get off social media
the main thing that gets me is that people don’t want to grow together anymore, they just want someone who is already at the top so they don’t have to make the journey and completely ditching “the journey is its own reward” saying. it’s people who grow together that form a solid relationship, grass doesn’t just get greener, you nurture your lawn till it grows thick and green.
There is no "top".
Even successful people continue to grow and change in life. This isn't a videogame where your character just stops leveling or runs out of skills to learn.
Yeah don't depend on others for "growth"
You should be going into a relationship full complete as a person or mostly complete. The 2 should compliment each other.
So be alone and be content
I don’t agree with the grow together mindset. You both need to be stable and content individuals who know who you are before joining together in marriage and having a family. Children shouldn’t be raised in poverty, and codependency isn’t healthy.
@@becca53444The thing is you should know each other before marriage. Also it's about bonding. Building shared memories. Like painting your first flat together. At some point you will have your core memories, things like painting your first flat or celebrating a big promotion or something. If you don't have your partner at that time you will rarely think about them.
@Camrynnsthanks for proving that person point
My career exploded in my mid-30s. While that success gave me more dating options, those extra options were, for the most part, bad apples. To avoid that sort of person, I exited the dating market and found success by circulating within my friends' social groups.
male?
lol I don’t have social groups
@@christopherpalmer4243 that is a silly question. A women’s financial success won’t make her dating options increase, her options will decrease.
@@christopherpalmer4243can only be a male.
exactly, your options get bigger, but alot are just bad people filtered inbetween
I think the approach that Courtney is reacting to highlights why many marriages fail. People expect a finished product when choosing a mate rather than truly understanding that whomever they choose will change over time.
I think the key is finding someone who has similar goals, values, who comes from a decent family (ideally, but not always) and who is or could become your best friend. Yes, you need to be attracted to this person as well. Sounds like a tall order but it requires going beyond your personal checklist of surface qualities and really getting to know the person, including their flaws.
The key is finding someone, even if they aren't a finished product, who has good foundational qualities and be willing to grow together. That's what builds a strong and lasting relationship.
I couldn’t agree more :) 28F
People used to get married to help them to be a "finished product" to build their lives, now people wait and make their entire lives to be and find the "finished product"... and looking at the big picture it clearly not working. The script that was given to people in modern society isnt working for a substantial portion of the population, and this is across several societies, it isnt just the US.... we see it in Europe as well as marriage and family constitution goes. Or the lack of it.
As my favourite saying goes, if you want to be the admiral's wife, you have to marry the lieutenant.
You should also be able to accept the person's flaws as they are and not be expecting them to change all of them in the future. You should love the person as they are right now and who they could become in the future
This is how it was with my wife and I. Similar background, goals, views, ect.
Men are not playing a waiting game they have just had enough and left. Women are pretending they are waiting for the 'right' man because that is far better than admitting men have rejected her.
or how hungry their cat truely is and a lot of womans cats have a loot of cravings
TRUTH aka the fat asses like lizzo claiming that they are single by CHOICE, FFS our world has become a clown world!
Do you know what's funny? They are "waiting" for the right man but no man wants her. She can keep waiting and complaining, in the end, she will blame men for her loneliness and her choices. Since most men are done with dating, she's fighting for an even smaller percentage of men who are willing to date. On top of that, from the pool of men willing to date women, a very small percentage of men would be even qualified to date her, according to the delusional standards of women these days. Congratulations women, you won absolutely nothing. Because the man you are waiting for, doesnt exist. And even if he did exist, he would never choose you, an expired woman, aged, old, used up, emotionally scarred or having emotional baggage, misandrist. He would rather choose the younger woman who is pure and fertile and still has her years, unlike the older women. It's no wonder jealous older women call men pedos for choosing younger women. They can see how men are going for the younger ones and not them. How men ignore older women like they don't exist, like how women ignore 90% of men, like we don't exist. What really pisses these old expired women, is that they spent their years working that job, getting that salary, getting ran through, they thought men like those and that they would be married. But then they see a younger woman, who has not worked a day in her life, getting the marriage these older women have always wanted. So what do these jealous salty women do? They will sabotage. They will call men pedos for choosing someone younger. Then they will convince these younger women with feminist lies and make them hate men so that these younger women end up like them. We know how spiteful a woman can be, and it's not hard to imagine that older women do this. Since they are not getting married, noone should. Rather than accept that they are wrong, these women will double down on their toxic behaviour and label it as empowering.
Women get caught in an endless loop. When their perfect man decides to lay up with them for a quick nut, it's almost impossible for most women to see themselves with someone less, even though the guy was clearly using them for sex. Female sexual liberation has actually permanently fucked up women's psyche.
Men very rarely reject women.
That's funny you think they do.
The main issue I'm finding with women is that they want to spend spend spend. Men have to take the woman out every night. Men have to go on vacations often before she gets bored. This creates a negative finance loop where both partners are poor all the time and the woman is left frustrated when the marriage and children never happen. Women are wasting years and years dating men, gutting them of their finances and then wondering why the big and important things aren't happening. Meanwhile a ton of incel single men are swimming in money, buying homes doing their own thing and ignoring the dating standards because they are too expensive. Women have everything backwards, they don't want to accept the fact that a successful life is a boring life, it's mostly a routine, it's not going to be spontaneous and chaotic like a movie or TV show.
Best comment here. Will not be topped. Cannot agree more (very sadly, for our society).
Sadly it’s true.
That’s true. I’ve actually met people who were financially well off and it was because they are stingy with their money. It’s honestly no way to live and it’s way more fun being middle class with some money to do fun stuff every once in awhile.
How many of you see women on dating sites that want to travel travel travel. And travel. Seriously how many vacation days do you get to blow all that money you haven't earned yet?
Too many want to live like the movies and internet "influencers" thinking that's real life for the other 99% of people.
The biggest disconnect is that the progressive woman still wants a man who is traditional. Either meet halfway or reset your expectations...
Every liberal woman I know has dated republicans.
Not real traditional, though; just a sanitised "traditional only when it benefits me and never stops me from doing anything".
cap
@@Blayzegood point. So many women and I mean really all women who claim to want a trad husband only talk about his responsibilities but never deferring to his traditional authority. Traditional husbands had a commensurate level of authority to effectively provide, protect, and be parentally invested. Women want allegedly 50/50 control/authority but he takes full responsibility when everything goes south. In effect women have the right to veto whatever he decides to do and then blame him for the failures caused by her vetoes.
Our society is broken, it was broken on purpose & we are in a spot where it is massively risky to start a family & if you're not planning on having kids, then why get married? It's really seeming pointless now days, just build a good life & hope you can hang onto it.
It's done to essentially break your spirit at a soul level. Try to not let them get too you.
Agreed on the pointlessness of marriage if you're not going to procreate. I'm looking to procreate without getting married. Surrogacy sounds promising. In a few years I think I'll have the capital to afford a sitter to help me raise my kids. Cheaper than an unhinged harpy in divorce court.
Genius post
Exactly right, there is absolutely NO reason for a young man in the USA in the 21st century to get married ... period. Even if you want to have children, you still don't need to get married. Get married and you place half of your net worth on a legal roulette table and the courts in this country will rape you financially.
The guy she was talking to was "friend zoned" so I don't blame him for being blunt with her and it shouldn't have "scared" her because she wasn't interested in him anyway. Courtney has it right. I'm old now and widowed but back in the day I did pretty well with the ladies ('70s) and dated some very pretty women but none of them would have been a good partner for me. Beauty is truly only skin deep. Try and find someone that shares your values and goals and you may just fall in love-or not-who knows. I hope dating changes for the sake of young men AND women.
Also an old widower(65). The difference dating then and now. Women used to say they had a good time and enjoyed going out with you. Now it is the man's job to Ask, Pay, make all the arangements AND say thank you after. -- A little gratitude would go a long way. But women are owed a special date. That's what kills it for me.
I've already had a couple women try and point me to where to find women my age.. screw that, not looking at ALL.@@elwoodrussell5097
He might of not been "friendzoned". 😂 The guy might be a situationship with the poster.
Don't think its gonna get better..... its likely gonna get far worse both in the west and in Asian cultures.
Only the super rich and super poor are having kids now
The reality is that there are loads of attractive women out there and few successful men, so this is a valid stance to take on his end. Also, women appreciate older guys with experience so a successful 30 y/o guy pulling an attractive girl in her early 20s that hasn’t experienced as many hardships, traumas, stressors, etc. and is naturally a more pleasant woman is more likely than one would give credit to. These are also the common things men look for in their partner 9:25
I was very romantic in my 20s, was looking for someone with who we could take a chance on each other and grow together. That never happened. Now Im 33 and just focusing on getting back in to great shape, launching my career in to a better place, and focusing on accomplishing the goals in life Ive set for myself. I wanted something different but it wasnt in the cards. I might put some swimmers on ice just in case but otherwise Ill just bide my time and continue to improve myself.
Also, sidebar, Ive watched a lot of your videos. I dont think you really realize how often your advise of what women are looking for boils down to money/resources. Its like you dont need to have money, you just need to have all of these things that money buys... totally different. It is what it is
I'm in the same boat, was really romantic in my 20's but after being screwed over by 3 different girls I've decided to just focus on myself and getting my career on the track that I want it to be on, I agree with the fact that some men aren't playing the waiting game some men have moved on from women period
@@coreymitchell3058 I ended up being so romantic, I got completely destroyed, and it took 10 years to even start talking to women again.
@@coreymitchell3058 Your age group is tough. Don't give up. Just bide your time until they grow up. or maybe date cougars for a while. Just to see how it can be different.
@@SirenaSpades Ew, hell no, he has much more value that dating older women. It's also kind of predatory to get with people much younger than yourself.
Don't date older women they will do your head in more 😂.
If you have a girl who is loyal, mature, loving, caring, put in effort in the relationship, communicate properly and will not leave you high and dry because her fantasies are not being met, then marry her. Money and looks are not the yard standard for a healthy relationship and qualities of a parent. Be wise!
I don't care how much a partner makes, I care about how much a partner spends.
No such thing. Women are opportunistic with dating. That will never last.
Most guys agree, which is why study after study shows that guys don't care about money. I think the look thing is just because it's an easy way to filter out people before you approach them. It's not like someone is ugly is automatically going to be a great person, they could also be ugly inside, and someone that is pretty isn't automatically going to not be any of these things. So if you are only going to approach a limited number of people you may as well only approach people that you are attracted to, not like you can approach and ask out every girl you see. Although I've certainly known and heard of people that basically tried to.
You say be wise and marry her in the same statement. A wise person doesn't sign a contract with someone who is awarded cash and prizes for breaking it. Regardless of the individual, as a man, you have a responsibility to your family and society to improve the world. That means standing up against tyranny and injustice, even if it comes at a small personal cost. Do not bend the knee. You're just enabling a system that will gladly enslave or murder any sons you may have.
Such a female does not exist.
When a man says what he wants/thinks, it's "harsh", unfair, or "could be worded better."
When a woman says what she wants, it's "slay Queen👑" or "she knows what she wants." 🙄
It's totally a double-standard!
I think that "hotness" is not the total sum of what makes beauty. Kindness, empathy, and patience are what make me feel safe enough to connect on an emotional level.
my dudes.. been with my share of hot woman.. they ae the ones who are most insecure and lead the worst sex and are least in touch with their bodies hence cant make love well. Goes hand in hand is all i can say.
Yes. Attractiveness is more than skin deep. Look around, many men are very happily married to a woman for decades and amazingly they aren't all married to supermodels.
As a broke ass single father at 31 years old. I lost absolutley all hope. I dont even bother with the idea of dating. Just focusing on my child.
Focusing on your kid? As far as I'm concerned, you are the definition of high value. You'll meet a great woman eventually, bro.
@@mormegil84 I apreciate that, thank you. I recently got diagnosed with spinal stenosis and a herniated disc. I've made peace with not finding a partner, but not being able to be super active with my daughter and inevitably ending up in a wheel chair in my 60s has got me in a dark place mentally. I'm constantly physically in pain and work full time with overtime. But your kind words go a long way. First leaving a comment on TH-cam. Surprised someone actually responded.
Man, i have so much respect from what you just said. Says a lot about you, someone will see it someday, and those who dont, their loss.
I respect you for being wise enough to care for your child and health despite the disappointments and the difficulties you've been facing. I hope I will be as strong as you one day. I will pray for you, He always responds in some way or another.@@davidpineda3298
I got divorced in my mid thirties and focused on my two children. Maybe I was "high value," perhaps. Ultimately it did zero later on looking to date because many women never let you get to the point of even remotely knowing you.
I remember saying this almost verbatim two decades ago when talking to a group of female med students.
These women were all fairly attractive, seemed nice enough to be around, and were going to be very successful later in life. And every single one of them could not figure out why they were still single.
So I asked them what men they were looking to date, and all of them said they wanted to date men who were fellow med students. I explained to them that these guys are highly unlikely to want a long term relationship with anyone right now, specifically because they are also going to be wildly successful and have significantly more options in their futures.
It was definitely an eye-opening moment for this group.
Those were med STUDENTS? I would think that more male med students would be willing to have a relationship with their fellow female med students. Why not? You get someone to talk to, emotional support, and you can schedule sex for Friday night or whatnot. Perhaps those female med students should count themselves lucky for not being used in this way.
A female doctor on Quora told me "Male doctors want to marry other doctors because they understand what it is like to be a doctor." I know that more and more doctors are marrying each other, but I am skeptical. A male doctor doesn't necessarily want to prioritize a female doctor who understands what it is like to be a doctor. He would probably rather have a wife who is 5-7 years younger, is not a doctor, so she can focus more on taking care of his future children than being a doctor.
I read an advice column from a woman who said, "I am in my late 30s, and just became a neurosurgeon. I delayed finding a partner until I finished my education. I want a kid before age 40. The man I have been dating for 10 weeks is wishy washy on commitment, what should I do?"
She really should have looked for a partner while in medical school. A 37yo male neurosurgeon would rather date a woman 10 years younger who doesn't want to get married and have kids NOW. It makes me think that becoming a super-doctor like a neurosurgeon might be unrealistic for a woman who wants kids unless she is willing to marry a man who agrees to be a stay-at-home-dad, which most women are uninterested in.
I know several doctors who met their husbands/wives in med school...
@@truthlemonade9793do you not listen to the rates of college attendance / bacheloraureate degrees / master degrees / doctor degrees? The ratio of men to women is worse than in the 1970s when Title IX was passed to help women, and all sorts of scholarships set up solely for women. Only now attendence starts at 57 / 43 women to men and gets more imbalanced toward women from there.
All these women buying into feminist propaganda climbing corporate success ladders, only to realize they've run out of time and prospects for chasing the wrong legacy.
Selfish.
@@truthlemonade9793 In the case of 37 year old medical background women, perhaps they might have to put aside the idea of having children and shift their focus from men who were a few years older to men who were 10 years older.
Older men were likely to be less interested in having children and who still saw 37 year old women as young.
Not sure about the wishy-washy man in this example but based on known social norms, he was probably at least a few years older and perhaps not that keen on having children at all.
@@truthlemonade9793 lol the male doctors i know are not interested in female doctors they have an unlimited supply of dim nurses every single semester who throw themselves at them.
Men do value intelligence. But he's lying to you if he says her income matters. We want to show her experiences and what life has to offer; her portal to the world. While beauty matters, behaviors will always be most important for commitment from men.
Couldn’t agree more!
100% agree, I just want to point out that a person can have High Intelligence even though they didn't go to College. In fact the more 'Degrees'/Diploma's a Woman has the harder her chances of finding that one person who meets all of her Criteria, diminishes!!
income does matter fool. the point of this whole video is to break down this whole black and white perspective that has been normalized
Yep. I want to find a woman to share my life, my adventures, and my opportunities with, and so has a life that I'm interested in sharing in return. I don't care one whit how much money she makes, but it is very important to me that she has built a life and career that she genuinely enjoys, is passionate about, makes her happy, and that I also find interesting even if it might very different from my own.
Thus far I've only ever found one woman who checked all those boxes, but she had way too much issues and trauma to have a stable, healthy relationship with anyone...
Women will never get this
5:04: Bingo! I waited to marry until I was sure I could support a family. I didn't hurt that my wife was well-educated and had a good career, but I was more interested in whether or not we could: (1) Take a 12 hour road trip in a tiny car without getting on each other's nerves. (2) Agree on child discipline and upbringing. (3) Build a house together. (4) Negotiate challenges without putting each other on an emotional roller coaster. (5) Compromise without holding anything over each other's heads. Are we both perfect at all these things, no. But still work at being better 12 years in...
Solid points.
To many more years...
No man has ever said "A woman who checks all my boxes."
Wait what. Are you claiming that we don't have standards?
@@Atlas65 no but if a woman checks let say 80% of his boxes most men are ok with that,if a man only checks 80% of her boxes she is setteling
Lol yeah they do.
@@Justanothercog24 Some do, but the vast majority of guys are perfectly fine with it if a woman doesen't check all of their boxes to their standards. It's a wishlist more than anything.
Men's boxes are about women getting plastic surgeries... and being anorexic
This is exactly why I look to couples that understand the concept of growth together. You can meet someone that checks all of your boxes but it's selfish to think they are not thinking the same. That's why both men and women must transparently compromise but still complement each other with the missing pieces and not be ashamed to do so.
Im trying not attack you personally but I hope that as a whole in 2024 we can leave the platitudes behind. "Couples that understand the concept of growth together" This is a sentence with no meaning. Just be plain and say what you mean
@@90sshuffle "Couples that understand the concept of growth together" - allow me to give you some substance to that, as a man who will celebrate his 26th wedding anniversary later this month.
A relationship needs attention and contributions the same way a plant needs water and sunlight. BOTH partners need to do this on an ongoing basis. Consider the man the water and the woman the sunlight, for sake of illustrating the point: If the plant [relationship] is deprived of either, it withers and dies. The partner doesn't have to cheat, cause bodily harm, etc. for the relationship to fall apart; NEGLECT is enough. The man who stops providing, stops showing affection to his wife, stops communicating will lose his relationship. The woman who no longer attends to her husband's needs [whether in the bedroom or out], shows no appreciation for or takes for granted his work, or otherwise doesn't contribute, will also lose her relationship. One cannot let the relationship "go on automatic" - both of you need to agree on your mutual goals [and support each other's individual goals; while said individual goals don't have to always line up with mutual goals, they cannot run counter to the mutual ones].
What does that look like? Some things are common to all; e.g., how are you both going to raise your children [or are you having children]? Religion, if any? School? Do you allow corporal punishment, and if so, to what extent? Etc. Other things could be completely unique to the two of you.
So it's not that the sentence has "no meaning"; it's custom defined for each person, each couple. I merely helped outline the framework.
Salut.
The caliber of man a woman can get decreases with age. There is no “growing together” that makes sense for both parties. If you’re a guy and currently can’t get an attractive woman because you haven’t made it yet, waiting to date while grinding your life is 100% the best option. And expecting someone to change over time is foolish. If you don’t like what they are offering in the current moment, there is no guarantee that anything will improve. You just said a bunch of fluffy feel good nonsense.
Well this was so spot-on, so I do not have to give any comments here ;)
I’m 25y/o and haven’t had a girlfriend yet. Always told myself it was because I never chased them. Finally found a great girl and we dated for four months. The truth why I never had a girl was I was so insecure. Always felt worthless and insecure so she ended it on Monday. Turned to the Bible for help but hopefully another girl rolls around soon :)
They will. Work on yourself. Keep your head up brother. Good things come to good people.
Yup work on yourself my man, keep yourself busy and be mindful of your attention don't watch to many videos stay on course. Focus on fixing those insecurities you have and understand that heartbreaks happen like this and in the long run good to have that experience you'll become more immune to them, be well my friend.
Breakups are always difficult, but 25 is still a very good age to be looking at these kinds of internal growth questions. You need to get comfortable in your own skin before any woman (who isn’t just trying to stay warm for one night) will see you as a potential partner
Hey, I am on the same boat here. 25 and relationship ended 3 months ago. I am working on myself by getting fit, getting enough sleep, etc. But, I do realize I need to work on my character because, just like you, I always had some type of insecurity. The next couple of years you should dedicate it to working on yourself and most likely you will be able to pull a woman you can build with. That's what my plan is for now.
Start watching video about narcissistic abuse. It will help you understand what is holding you back.
Success in my opinion is attaining your goals (personal/financial/physical/mental etc.) without having to be manipulative, lie, cheat, steal, be exploitive, or treat people wrong to get where you want. That and how honest you are with yourself, and how much respect you currently treat yourself and others with, especially people inevitably in your life who aren't always or almost never on the same page with certain things.
“Success is born out of arrogance. Brilliance comes from humility.” - Marco Pierre White
It's a process for some people. Nobody is perfect.
@@evansmith8824 I have definitely learned lots & lots of things the hard way, and even being a generally terrible person at one time, at least a lot more than now 😅
@@mattlopez47I think pretty much everyone learns the hard way in something. If we didn't we would be "perfect" which doesn't really exist. I think that's what people maybe have a hard time understanding. We can always learn and grow with something. If we were maybe more sympathetic and maybe supportive as a society with this rather dismissive which I think maybe could be a old fight or flight response to this. We aren't too far away from having to fight for our lives if something was off with someone you never know. I think there's a right way of going about things and a process for pretty much everything. It's how we go about that process that's key.
I concur. Being self accountable goes a long way too
"Finding someone to make you happy" is outdated from last century. Finding your purpose and finding your peace is alot more rewarding, beneficial and it attracts the right energy
Sad part is people are so messed up in the heads these days so it is near impossible to find true love.
Do not look for love within others, true love come from within. Dating requires 1 thing and 1 thing only. Respect. Look for someone who respects you. That's all you ever need.
It gets worse for women as they age. Lots of middle-aged women out there with mental issues.
My standards to date a woman are pretty simple and basic. Be pretty (not a supermodel or movie star, just somewhat pretty), be pleasant to be around and not an angry, bitter shrew, and don't have a massive body count. That's pretty much it.
I guess it's like this for about 95% of men. And yet it's hard, and gets increasingly harder, to find a woman who meets even those reasonable, down-to-earth standards.
YOUR standards, those are EVERYONES! what rock did you crawl out from under?
What's a massive body count
@@kidddtho I can only speak for myself, but double digits becomes a concern. Body counts in the hundreds is a major, major red flag, regardless of gender.
Reframe "massive body-count" as "a libido that approaches my own" and you might find that more palatable.
This does not even come close to capturing how much harder and more frustrating dating is for most men than it is for most women. The gap is so enormous that there is literally no way women can understand it.
They don’t care either. Women live easy mode life
I couldn't agree with you more. I could ask a thousand women on a date where I live and I'd get rejected a thousand times despite being six feet tall and making over six figures. The last woman I asked for feedback regarding a rejection said it was because of my hairline (appreciate the honesty but, sadly, not too much I can do about it). I have also been told to my face "why date you when I can get somewhere way hotter with a swipe." Chad is very available for the fun but good luck with getting him to commit. Thankfully, I learned dating is so much easier outside the United States. I'm very thankful to have discovered the Passport Bro movement and encourage every man I know to date foreign women. It's refreshing!
The only woman on earth Whoever has literally deleted herself because of the hatred she was building for her own gender the way that they treated her when they thought she was a man😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 rest in peace Norah Vincent😢
Theres nothing, since the dawn of mankind that MEN had it easier than females.
@@szn1580who the hell told you so? Have you ever been afraid for your life on a date? Has any woman ever threatened your life? And we face it while dating
As a man my biological clock is I don’t want to be 60 when my children are 20 I want to be in good health as they are starting off in the world.
If you take care of both your physical and mental health. You should be fine. I've met peoke friends n their 70s and 80s that regularly go hiking and running. Tske care of yourself and yiu will have mire time with your kids.
I don’t think 60 would be considered old, of course it isn’t the same as being 40 or 50 but by no means is it considered old. You can still be in perfectly good health by then depending on your habits in life imo
I will be 61 when my youngest becomes 20. When the kids were little and super active I was doing just fine physically. Now that I am 55 I do not go racing after them but they do not need that from me anymore. My kids need help navigating school\dating and I can offer tons of help in these areas so all is great. I found a wife that l likes to save even more than me right from the start while dating. She the first woman that did not spend lots of my money. I met her in grad school and she was from India.
Nah, waiting till late 30s/ early 40s is the way to go for men in terms of having kids. Much better father material than some 25 year old kid who doesn’t know what the hell he is doing.
Sounds like you have a good thing going there. And they probably look forward to what you can teach them.@@frankgriffin6293
Frankly I'm just a little bummed that I made it in terms of career success without having a woman to struggle my way there with -- now I have to be careful not to show that status too much because I don't want to attract anyone for the wrong reasons
I'm similar and I'm a woman actually. Male gold diggers are also a thing lol
You can never make it enough for many modern women anyway.
I made it to where I wanted to be. I made it to the top 2% income bracket as an independent consultant by my late 30s. I am not very materialistic or status driven, so my aspiration was always to retain this work, which I enjoy, with an acceptable work/life balance and be in a position to start cutting back how much I "need" to earn by my late 50s.
This wasn't an important factor in my last partner picking me, but as soon as we were in a committed relationship, my lack of desire for more became something she was critical of. When I asked her to show me the sort of house she thought we should aspire to live in, she showed me one that cost £1.4m - an amount that would require me to step up in income and retire later. She could bring the equivalent of about 400k to the table on this in terms of equity and repayment ability, leaving me to fund a million pounds.
Modern women seem to view men and relationships partly as a transactional means to an end. We need to fulfil their desire to work less and have more. We are expected to treat them as equals, whilst also being more than they are - more ambitious, more hardworking, more driven. I ALREADY was all of those things, earning more than double what she did... but it is seemingly never enough. It seems like they aren't happy unless they are making you feel inadequate.
That one conversation led me to re-assess where I am at in life after we split. I stepped away from independent work and went back to full time employment on 50% less money - just inside the top 5% bracket - for less hours and less stress doing more interesting work. I work out most mornings now before work. I do about 40hrs a week. I am in a good place, and I don't give a shit about what any woman thinks about it. I live my life for me.
@@lightofall Haha that would never interest me. I mean it could never be a factor for me to want a woman, unless if she would be super beautiful with a nice personality and happy all together. hen it would be a plus. Not definitely as some main factor. And I am pretty sure that I speak for most men when I say that.
I don't think men and women are waiting I think they've given up.
I got really sick and am now pretty much a financial liability for the rest of my life (goodbye women). And as embarrassing as that is, it’s honestly kind of liberating to have an excuse not to worry about any of this insufferable bullshit anymore.
Isn't it crazy how your poor health, in a weird twist of fate has become.... Liberating?
I'm happy for you, I hope you find a way to make life fulfilling and find contentment in life.
Jesus Christ can heal you
Solely an American problem because "free" (you pay taxes to finance that) health care is communism, am I right??
@@DottieHottie2002take your nasty, predatory religion and leave.
if you can type, you can become a programmer or work in IT (said to me by a guy whose worked as a programmer for years)....and a lof of those jobs are remote....ive been dragging my feet for while now....but if i were to become a "financial liability" to anyone that would 100,000% light a fire under my ass!
I agree with you Courtney. Unfortunately, there are some that only push what they want in someone else without considering what that person he/she is interested wants.
So women should change to get men?
Hi Courtney,
"A bird in the hand is better than an egg in the bush".
You never know when you will meet that someone and passing on him/her because you think will find someone better in the future seems ridiculous!
Hope that you and your husband have a great weekend!
If You Continue To Do - What You’ve Always Done
You Will Continue To Get - What You’ve Always Got
Doing The Same Thing - Thinking Your Going To Get a Different Result!
If you hear a woman say shes in a situationship. This is the girl thats actually dating a guy thats dating 5 other women, and settling for none of them. They used to just say a woman was dating out of her league. Gen z women are attempting to rebrand it.
I'm so sick of this mindset today about checking boxes and all that stuff. Sure, have some standards and avoid red flags, but why do we have to mathematically determine if someone fits within some predetermined criteria all the time? I just want to find someone who I have a strong connection with and vice versa. I don't need someone to be perfect, I don't need to find the best person ever, I just want someone who will make me happy, who I can make happy, and together can raise good kids who will be happy.
I'm in the same boat. It's just so frustrating. How perfect do we have to be until we're allowed to have a partner in our life?
Dude you read my mind.
@@mormegil84 just remember bezos got divorced and his kids arent even his. that is what hypergamy does. the worlds richest man for a while had no chance so how can the rest.
This is true, after my divorce I just focused on myself and my daily grind. I'm financially independent, make six figures, I have multiple real-estate properties, and I have a side business that makes a decent amount as well. I'm on dating apps just to re-learn the "game"
Good for you. Glad you are on your feet and doing well.
Nice, but the game will destroy your chances of finding a good woman
Put all of properties and assests into a Living Family Trust, and assign a trusted 3rd Party Trustee to oversee the Trust on your behalf...
Do not enter into any living arrangement(s) with a Women before you set this up.
"Re-learn the game"? Welcome to the pile of broken toys and trash that nobody else wants. The apps is what the bottom of the barrel looks like.
@@louisbee7923 Very true statement. Majority of those are exactly how described it. I am finding this out too.
I know more and more men that are just doing sugar dating now. I guess woman have become so difficult that it is just cheaper and easier to just rent them.
I did ask a guy why he was doing it and said that when he was married he paid for basically everything and his wife wouldn’t put out so now he just has an arrangement that is actually a lot cheaper with a much younger and more attractive woman.
True. And not a bad strategy if sexual pleasure is all you seek.
I'm 35-year-old, not balding and not overweight, 5'5 and I never had a girlfriend or wife. The only women who have ever loved me is my dear mother. She was of a generation where women were women, not these social media freaks you have these days with ridicules' body count and who can't cook to save their lives. Anyways, Thank You For listening to My TED Talk
lol, I'm older than you and have met young women with huge bodycounts. None of them were supermodels either.
I married my wife when I was 35 and she was 27. It took me 15 years to find a woman worth taking the risk with.
A woman’s looks catches my attention. Her character, intelligence, and personality keeps my attention. My wife has all of those.
I'm going to "go out on a Limb" and guess you got Married Twenty years ago.
Good for you. Try it again today lol.
@@r3games1985 My wife is an Asian foreign national. I gave up on American women decades ago. Too many were damaged back then. It is even worse now.
@@stevec3526
Through some extraordinary fluke of luck, I dated a beautiful and fully compassionate Indian girl my own age. Things moved forward gracefully until Covid upended her life, and she chose to move home to take care and be with her family.
Even if I could find an American date, I don't think I could settle with an American. My ex ruined dating for me, not just with her beauty, but with her character.
Ok don't cheat on her
7:00 what is offensive about this? the fact that the person hearing this statement may not meet his standards? why does he have to tailor his speech to avoid hurting the feelings of women that don't measure up to his standards? women talk about over 6 feet tall, 6 figures & gym bods, things that men don't have all the time.
the average american income is like $30K most men don't have 6 figures. do men cry about it when women don't state their preferences in the most elegant way? on the internet, sure. but men don't try to tell women how to speak & word what they say to tailor it to men's feelings.
besides, as men, we all know modern american western women don't give a flying fuck about men's feelings. especially when it comes to dating & whether men meet women's standards or not.
Thinking in terms of what I have to offer that a woman may be looking for has been really helpful for me. Instead of just focusing on my flaws, I am accepting my positives. This makes it so much easier to work on the things I need to work on without all the self-doubt. I find I have more confidence and it's easier to relax and show who I am, instead of trying to apply some magical formula when I meet someone I really like.
A video on dating predictions sounds great. Very much looking forward to it.
Movies, TV shows etc etc are pushing a lot of cultural standards that absolutely have a negative effect.
Looks like culture is catching on to the trend.
In closing, I am heavily interested in seeing a video and reading the comments on this topic.
Great video and mad props 👏 👏👏💯
I don't understand any of this. The simple fact of the matter is that men (generally speaking) don't care how much money a girl makes or what kind of job she has. Hell we will marry the girl at the McDonalds drive thru if she is cute, pretty sweet and easy to get along with ie can she emotionally pair bond with you. Yet women get so hung up about what kind of a job a man has or how much money he makes. The simple fact of the matter is that generally speaking, men don't care in the slightest about any of that at all. It makes no sense at all.
Courtney, the problem with women is, after they've slept with Chad and Tyrone, they think that that's what they can get; they think that is their level, since they got Chad and Tyrone to sleep with them. What they don't realize is that Chad and Tyrone have options, and that they don't have to commit to anyone; they don't realize that Chad and Tyrone are above their level.
When a woman reaches her late 20s after a series of situationships, she realizes that 30 is staring her in the face, and that her friends are starting to get married. She then figures that it's time to find her sucker, to find her nice guy. Even though these guys are on her level, looks wise; even though these guys are appropriate matches for them; these women view them as below their level, and they think that they're settling. That's because, after a series of situationships with Chad and Tyrone, they're now alpha widowed. They'll come to resent, and eventually hate, their husbands they settled for.
This is nothing new. There are decades, hell, centuries of advice about how to "catch" or "land" a man. Any decently attractive woman can get Chad by being cute, laughing at his jokes, and spreading her legs, but getting a man with options to commit and give her free retirement in her 20s/30s is harder.
Negotiating from a position of strength is important. Sadly, both men and women don't understand their true value at the time they are negotiating.
What is there even to negotiate? Dating requires 1 thing and 1 thing only. Respect, which is non negotiable by nature.
FOMO is a double edged sword for both men and women. I would like the dating prediction video. Congrats on your success and hope your content gets you to 1,000,000 subscribers by the end of 2024. Another cool video would be to have an attractive female, who could be potentially popular on a dating platform, use an average male profile to see the difference between the two experiences. Then you could do a follow up video on how a couple changes to turn the average male profile into better performing, which means more opportunities to meet someone great. Sometimes all you have to do is get through the closed door.
fomo affects women vastly more than men.
men don't get fomo because they *know* they are missing out from the get go, and they know what they're missing out on.
Doors close for a reason. Don't force your way open. Learn from it and move on somewhere else
I date in NYC. Yes successful men here want a really hot woman, but speaking for myself and other men here I know who are successful and well put together were much more concerned with a woman’s behavior. There is absolutely no shortage of single, hot women with great careers here in NYC. However finding a loving and nurturing woman who understands men here is rare. These beautiful women here don’t seem to understand that guys who have their lives together are as picky as they are.
True love is a rare diamond
The problem with the red pill is they keep saying women just want money when it's not true. They just have incredibly high looks standards when it comes to the men they actually desire... People who disagree obviously don't see how women react to top 1% looking guys online or on live streams compared to other men. It's literally a night and day difference
I am basically in same situation as that dude, except my time frame is 3-4 years.
But thanks to lifting weights consistently for almost 5 years, cleaning up my diet a bit, getting tattoos, improving my social skills I have skyrocketed on the market.
Soon I'll be done with my education in a field that I love and has a promising future.
Being almost 32 I am in zero hurry. I know what I want and I am 100% confident I will find it. In the meantime I will just enjoy my life, for the first time.
Men need to realize being in 30s-50s is the end of the world. You can still find a quality younger attractive woman just need to keep up with your appearance and purpose as a man. When your well put together and have worked on yourself and secure and stable it will be easy to attract decent women compared to trying to while your building yourself up still
@@aslysa2277 bruh 30-50 is the awesome times
Maybe you're focusing too much on some fantasy future and passing up a great partner that knows you in the present at your most humble. Then you'd know they're not going to be using you once you become "successful"
@@stephaniehendricks225 well duh, already found one
@@stephaniehendricks225shut up
You made so many good points here I wish I could have a whole conversation about this. You were very fair here and I loved how you touched on the woman taking accountability on finding someone who wants what she wants rather than trying to change someone. As a man, I’ve had to deal with trying to tell someone I don’t want the same things as them and that someone else could fulfill those needs much better. But still she would rather be with me. At least she doesn’t try to change me.
Women think they have a chance with Chads but are only 1 night stands forever
Nah im happy being fwb and just hanging out
@@hanalala3164like a feral animal.
Sometimes it’s best to meet someone in a social setting. She might have some attributes that you didn’t know you liked in a woman. It shouldn’t be based on checklists either. Good relationships take time to develop in my opinion.
0:32 funny how men simply having standards & options "scars her" because she knows she most likely doesn't measure up to his standards. because they're friends, he'd never tell her that outright. if she did measure up to his standards, she would be dating him herself lol smh
I'm surprised this is not common knowledge for women. How many men do they reject/flake/ghost/etc. on a regular basis? How could they NOT know this?
It's scientifically proven that they have no common sense.
There used to be a saying that behind every great man there was a great woman, this seems to have been forgotten that success is most often a couple's affair. I haven't met many successful people in my life who did it alone, normally its because one has drive and the other has organisational skills, or something to that effect. Waiting to find an individual with success to disseminate seems a little foolish and highly unlikely.
I live in a town with many women who have Masters and PhD degrees. A lot of my female acquaintances really can't understand why top-shelf men aren't interested in them. Some of these women have pretty much turned themselves into the men they want, and then are confused when the men they want don't want them (except for sex if they're pretty). Add in the fact that the good-looking women tend to be passed around by the same top shelf men, and the situation gets ugly for them. They become angry, bitter, and jaded like the woman in your video. BTW, the man who was honest with her probably considered her to be a "Mid-Twenty-seven" and had little interest in her.
Some guys don't like clever women and some guys don't mind.
My wife has a Masters and a PhD. Its the whole person I like though.
Which proves men are the problem : you can't want a young woman to ditch her financial independence for a man, if he leaves it's poverty. If you're looking for a wife and don't care about her professionnal situation, you don't care about your children's chances financially. Women in their 30s have money, stability and maternity leave...
Women already lowkey hate men and have unreasonable expectations for them. At least when they depended on men for things they had to sort of pretend they liked us. Now imagine that you're faced with the prospect of dating a woman who not only hates men and expects too much from them, but don't need them for anything, AND thinks she's a big deal because she got a degree and a job? What kind of toxic attitude is that woman going to have? What's that relationship going to be like? Of course men are going to nope out of anything except a one night stand or harem situationship - and of course the men getting those are going to be the "top shelf" men with options.
Why is anyone surprised by people wanting the best they can get? It's completely normal. What's not normal is the high view we have of ourselves. You deserve the things you have EARNED. Nothing more.
Nothing about our new technology has changed how people should act. Every time you hear a "secret easy way" to reach a goal, think scam. The work you do on the journey is the only true way to reach goals. IVF doesn't give you a family.
All the future single 34 year old woman who spent her 20s going after the bad boys and getting ran through " Why can't I find a good man? Where are the good men at?"
They're all under 6ft and/or in the friend zone. All the men you ignored because you were going after the 6ft+ F Boys for all your youth are now married with happy healthy fulfilling relationships, either with a high value woman or they found peace with being single as the best version of themselves.
We should start asking news stations to feature news stories of "Where are all the good women at?" in the same way they feature it about men. 😆
Is that why they kill themselves so much
@@kapsi men kill themselves because they know no one is going to save them.
women resort to their sexuality to save them.
Ok seriously so you are telling me that no man would actually date a woman his own age? Seriously are you saying 40 year old and higher men should date a 20 year old? Men sleep around just like women. If you want to hold me accountable for things as a woman then you should have your own sexual past held against you. The standards of both sides are bad. I know I made the right chioce by walking away from online dating and in essence dating period. I found no man who wasn't intereste din a hook up 90% of them well to be hoenst. Were all about hooking up even though I told them online that I wouldn't do that.
Why did they act like they were entitled to have sex? I finally walked away from the idea that I was a loser at 37 for being single 5 years later I am happier and fulfilled without that trap that they taught me. Not all women need to be married and have kids to be happy. Just like not all men need that. If a man is too pathetic to date a woman around his age then that is on him and shows how immature he is. What does it matter how old she is?
There are many ways to have children. So again if you are 40 and you are dating a 20 year old wow you really are pathetic.
There will come a time where arranged marriages will make a come back. Either mothers and fathers are going to force their daughters or maybe even the daughters will beg their parents. But it will return in the future.
While physical attraction plays a part in who we want to be with, it’s not the end all, be all of a relationship. Thinking like that dooms the relationship from the get go. intelligence (especially financial intelligence) helps a lot, as well as having personalities that bounce off each other, having common interests, and talking things out instead of going straight to drama are BIG pluses. And of course, having a woman who is in touch with her feminine side is nice. I’m sure someone else said something similar to this, but’s it’s just my two cents. Nice video.
Men aren't playing "a waiting game", we are OUT, PERMANENTLY!
You know maybe, just maybe, if people would look for someone they love instead of what "blocks" they "check" people might be more successful in their quest for happiness.
You could speak in any other language and you spoke in FACTS.
I’m not sure if it’s me or the ladies I’m meeting. Probably me idk, I’ve been following your channel for awhile now and I’ve been taking notes to what you’re saying. For some reason though a lot of women I meet they seem nice and sweet to me, but they don’t want to get married after how many years dating and don’t want kids eventually.
So either I’m missing something or I’m in the wrong era when it comes to dating.
Women who are nice and sweet, and DO NOT want to marry and have kids? Sounds like having hit the jackpot in the dating lottery, if you ask me.
@@iancavon7125 A woman with no mother instinct? That is the biggest red flag you can get. That means something in her brain is malfunctioning badly and it will show eventually.
This guy, along with many other men, recognizes that he will have more options to land a quality partner in the future while young, attractive women realize they have more options now and likely won't in the future. These women try to land their perfect guy earlier while guys like this know they can wait it out. Different strategies, but same goal to get the best person possible by using people along the way. I do not like either strategy but this girl is only upset because the man's strategy counter acts hers.
Yes, but what men like that career guy never take into account is that when they're finally at the top of their value they'll most likely end up with not a genuine quality partner but a cunning gold digger who "loves" them for mainly materialistic reasons. Sure, such a woman will have the looks of a trophy wife, but she'll be shallow, cold, and scheming -- divorce almost guaranteed, or even planned ahead. That's not quality. Better to look for a serious relationship while there's still a (greater) chance of being loved for yourself, not for your status and money.
@@iancavon7125 Could not agree more. That is why I said I disagreed with both strategies. My point was that the cute girl in the video was upset about it even though she is doing a similar strategy.
@@iancavon7125 Just because a man gains more options doesn't automatically mean he is going to choose a bad one. Men have a lower bar when it comes to a woman's physical attractiveness. This is especially true when the man is older and he's less driven by his hormones.
@@iancavon7125Exactly. Tbh I just graduated school in a high earning field and I expect to be making pretty good money in the next few years. It kinda depresses me because right now I do okay with women but I haven’t found “the one” yet. Sometimes I wonder if my finances will change my dating success for the wrong reasons. I want to be loved for the person I am but it doesn’t seem like enough.
@@man_of_iron I am not so sure after observing the situation. It appears that the older men have become, the more they want to find women that is either in the 20s or as close to the 20s as possible.
When they end up with women that are much younger but closer to their own age group (such as F33 with M40), some of these men may not be very happy.
It is socially acceptable to tell older women they have less options.
Try suggesting to older men with some $$$ that perhaps they need to adjust their expectations, the response is probably not very friendly. 😊😊
I seen your channel pop up and was like oh yaaah. There was a time where I actually was trying to find a relationship... its just ptsd residue now.
I don't give women any attention, compliments, advice, or the time of day now. I know i don't have anything that matters to women. So now that I'm comfortable alone, Im never changing that.
Your channel is so thoughtful it almost makes me want to date again but.. my cats and I are content
They aren't finally realizing it, they've known about it forEVER. Men are starting to realize it and women are pissed that we aren't playing their stupid games anymore.
Spot on Courtney. It shouldn’t sound controversial but some people focus on the soul, not merely the material things. A desirable mind and body will follow.
I would say a better tactic is to create a checklist for desired qualities for yourself, work on them and if you exhibit those qualities God will send people with the same qualities to you. Be humble, kind, hard-working and discerning in a smart way and you will eventually find people and friends that value you for those qualities and not your checkbook.
women focusing on a soul?hahahahahahahahaha. yeah if you look like jeremy meeks then yes :"omg his souls of so pure" lmao.
It's hilarious in a very depressing way to me that women think men care how much money they make. The only part of career aspects I care about is social status, and I care about that fairly little. For example, it would be strange to see a doctor married to a woman who works at a fast food restaurant.
By my measure, women need to be physically attractive (5/10 and up), be friendly, supportive, and have similar values to me. That's it. It's really not that hard.
The women who are having trouble are the ones who are trying to date this woman's friend. He sounds like a 10/10 guy. Like he said, there is no pressure for him to settle down. He can pump and dump to his hearts content.
Women, stop trying to date above the level you can retain. Just because they'll sleep with you does not mean they view you as long term material.
It shouldn't be that hilarious or depressing about women caring about men/money. Women care about security and safety. It's as simple as that.
@@SirenaSpades and men can count. body count
@@beowulf_of_wall_st but it shouldn't bother them that she does work.
That is just why I stopped dating that's all men want women for, I am done with this rigged game. I'm happier now that I am no longer being pressured by men. I think it is important to learn about yourself. Also to remember that being single as a woman is not bad. Infact the Bible tells us that not all of us are made for marraige. That's a fact. Those who want and need familise sure.
The pressures come from society and they are wrong! I can't tell you how many lies I heard from movies and books and just school I went to. Acting like there is a soul mate, or the one or whatever you want to call it. I also do not believe in love at first sight. It's just a myth. I think that men and women both can flourish single if they realize that the pressures of society can be ignored. I'm 42 and I have family and friends I'm not alone and I respect men! I'm not a fem who hates men just for existing.
I do think the double standards need to stop. That is why I walked away from dating. You pressure us into sex then refuse to get married to the girls you pressured into sex. How is that ok? It's really not ok. If you want modest women to marry then be better men.
@@MSBowen-pk6ww DO YOU GASLIGHT AS A HOBBY OR AS A PROFESSIONAL?
As someone who is planning to re-enter the dating scene later this year, I would love to see a video giving your predictions on dating shifts for 2024 👍
Women are making more money than ever before, so women not caring so much about how much a dude makes and only wanting to deal with top 2% looking guys only is going to be the future
When people date and are really in it to win it, I hope they don't overlook the two "Cs" : chemistry and compatibility. Once I realized how important those two things are, it narrowed my focus completely.
Chemistry is not enough. Because that might just be sexual attraction and leads to lust (sometimes) but not love. - I agree with you. But potential love and chemistry is even more important then compatibility. Because when there is love you'll make it work even when you are "not" fully compatible. And you'll do it with a smile on your face. But if it is only compatibility you might work because you are compatible. But it will still be only superficial - So yes I agree with you with the two "Cs" but I would add the heart and align it in the hierarchy of 'the Heart (love or potential for love) - chemistry and compatibility.
@@Atlas65 You don't need a partner for love. Love comes from within. Compatibility is not important at all. There is 1 thing and only 1 thing important in choosing a mate, respect. Respect is all you ever need in any relationship, whether a romantic or a business relationship.
I really hate that saying “build a garden then the butterflies will come” I see so many people comment that and it’s so f****** not true. I got a good job, licenses and certificates, on the verge of owning a home, I have 3 retirement plans and a bunch of other great things and I STILL can’t get a GF. These girls want the absolute BEST.
It seems to me that almost all women want the top 5% of men on paper (6ft, 6 figure income, and very fit). Yet, those guys know that, so they won't commit. So I agree there is a disconnect between men and women. Personally when I see a laundry list of requirements, I move on.
I can definitely appreciate your pretty objective perspective on dating. The only thing I’d say is you kind of make it seem like there are plenty of high earning guys that are tall, good looking, in shape, etc. when in reality there really isn’t. It’s less than 1% of the population. Prob closer to .2-.5%. If you tell females “there’s plenty of those guys out there” it’s not really helping their delusions. You need to flat out explain that women need to change their expectations of finding a guy who makes 6 figures and be comfortable finding a good hard working man earning $55k-$85k a year. Less than 10% of people make over 6 figures and half of that 10% are women, or someone not on the dating market. So literally 90% of women are competing for the same 2-5%. And that’s just earning, that doesn’t include looks, personality, background. Some of those guys could be huge lards, gay, or weirdos.
Men are literally not picky at all. We just want loyalty, supportiveness, respect, and a teammate. Women are far more the issue here compared to men.
I’d highly recommend to women considering more men in the trades. Trade jobs aren’t that high earning in the beginning but over time lots of guys get their experience for 10ish years then go off and start their own business. An electrician might only make $25/hr in the beginning but if he starts his own company he can easily be making $250k+ a year. Tons of women miss that completely. Guys in the trade can build, fix, and make things nice. They are down to earth, funny, strong, manly men. All the things girls want. The only thing preventing them from dating a tradesman is usually a lower income in the beginning.
Ladies, go for tradesmen. It will solve 90% of your problems. They will protect you and be loyal for a lifetime. What more do you want?
Most women think they are too good for construction workers/tradesmen. Even you ladies with meaningless college degrees. Allow me to humble you real quick. YOU AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR A TRADESMAN, THEY BRING FAR MORE VALUE TO THIS EARTH THAN YOU DO!!!
Let that sink in real quick and let it marinate before all you feminists start blowing a head gasket. All of you are delusional and need to get checked ✅
She talks about those numbers all the time.
Hello Courtney,
I have commented before and do love your channel.
So, from my perspective, I'd say that the biggest issue is that there are so many unrealistic expectations of dating and that materialism has also become a major factor. You made an interesting comment in your video that is certainly my dating experience, and that is women wanting you to meet an ideal rather than accepting you for who you are. It's perfectly normal to have expectations of a partner, but is the list really so rigid, we are, after all, just human. My predictions for the future of dating are that lots of single men and women who have a reluctance to become involved with the opposite sex.social media really does not help and to many people are engrossed in its form and are embroiled in its power. What ever happened to loving a person for who they are rather than what they own or can provide?
No thanks. My FREEDOM, my wallet and a quiet life are more important to me. Hatred and contempt for a man are the essence of modern relationships.
I am a silicon valley engineer and married when I was 35. My wife was a waitress and was 22 when we met. She was kind, looking for a husband, and amazingly great with kids. We have 4 children and have been married now for 24 years.
7:24 - uh, no. Actually what that man said is mild compared to the entitlement coming from women these days. You are way off on that one, Courtney.
I didn’t say it wasn’t 😅 I agree. But I think a lot of women will hear that and find it to be harsh is my point haha
@@CourtneyRyan true.
The problem is girls in their 20’s don’t believe they are mid. The large majority think they are a great option for all guys and no work/effort is required on their end.
I have 100+ matches on hinge and maybe 5-10% are actually girlfriend material.
I hate to generalize, but most women do not realize they are not putting in any effort. Their 100%, is actually just the bare minimum. It’s a huge problem I see across dating.
My ex was like that.
Have you considered that those 90% that you described just aren't that interested in you? Why not focus on that 5-10% who seem interested?
Guys work on yourself if you put in work on money and fitness you will have tons of options later on. Even in your 50s to 60s. If women can have standards then so can we , it’s okay to date younger prettier women with less baggage.
Men value BEAUTY in women. As a girl who talks to guys I can tell you that is very true of guys.
A guy who makes enough money to be self-sufficient has no need of a 'high earning woman".
Women think that the stuff that impresses their female friends also impresses high value men, but they couldn't be more wrong.
Honestly, with what I've seen in the last few years in this horrific dating world, it's very difficult to keep trying. If these are my options, I may be better off alone
Get your passport
At least you won't have to worry about someone lying to you. Not a bad life.
Leave your current environment to somewhere new
Being alone is the worst condition a human can experience. Life cannot be lived alone. Life is about people. If no one will miss you when you die, what is the point.
I feel like the big differnece between dating for mean and women these days is that on average the latter gets overwhelmed with options and the former gets no options which I thought would be addressed in this video but was not. Until women come to grips with that and the fact that what little attention women do give is to the same small number of men who have no incentive for things to change nothing will change.
Dear Courtney, my name is Paul Jones. I just wanted to thank you for your channel I have learn a lot about dating and your counseling of self- image you made a very good difference in my life I'm have a lot more confidence in my self. Keep up the good work. I know you made a good difference in other people life.
Men understand the materialistic nature of women and they find superficial objects attractive. No matter how many times women are told that men aren’t near as superficial and materialistic as women they refuse to listen to
From my perspective it is very hard to combine two careers as a couple without making compromises. Men go for younger women not only for their looks, but also in hope that the younger woman is more able/willing to compromise. My first gf left me because of her career. It was a hard lesson, but a lesson learned. Also, being in a relationship, and maintaining a relationship in a constructive way is something that needs to be learned. You become good at what you do most: If you stay single by choice, you will be good at being single, if you prioritize relationships, chances are that you will be able to maintain one in the future. In that sense, if you delay that forever relationship with your soulmate, you may not be prepared of it after all, because of the lack of relationship experience. Secondly, while men can delay fatherhood, waiting until their 40s will increase risk factors, aside from the aspect that your child might prefer growing up with a younger and more active father. There is is only one thing that is truly finite for all of us, and that is time.
super disappointing when dudes act like your forties are some sort of geriatric death sentence. I'm almost 39 and am in better shape than most 20 somethings. Ill tell you straight up, I've never attracted more females in my life than now. if a man is wanting to play the long game and utilize the strategy from the video, obviously it is paramount you maintain a physical fitness level that is competitive with her other potential suitors. what's a joke is dudes thinking they're gonna make some money at the expense of their health and it's going to make them more attractive. It's actually just going to make you a mark.
@@laktes8443 Right, you will attract more women in your 40s if you lived your life well. That was also the case for me. The issue however is that if you are family-oriented, you are running out of time quickly. Younger parents handle the stress of having kids better. It's also easier to make compromises earlier in your career. I became a father at 35, and from my perspective that was the longest I was willing to wait, and that was for the child's sake, regardless of the age of the mother of how many women I was able to attract. There is a distinct difference between being able to father a child and being able to raise one. Do you want to live long enough to see your child succeed? Do you want to see your grandchildren?
what that guy said was "once my ship comes in, I'll be able to afford to buy a trophy wife."
Horrible mindset. Imagine spending half of your "non-retirement" life just so a "hot girl" (whose looks will start to fade around 32) can secure the bag? How is that a win? Having a woman be with you for your money? Humiliating if anything.
@@aleksandar4756 I don't see how you guys don't get it. Women care about security and safety. It isn't that she's directly after your money. It's as evolutionary as you being after her looks via "healthiness" or 5/10 or above.
@@SirenaSpades Changing the societal status-quo always has consequences and feminism did exactly that.
@@SirenaSpades security and safety in one night stands😂
what are worth experiences which are not earned? Tell me, dude.. you got to suffer to feel success. This is why weman are still in their infancy after all the sociatal investmen that has been put into giving them same oppurtunies and equality. @@beowulf_of_wall_st
The woman from the first video forgot to mention the part where from 18 to 28 that man wasn't noticed by any woman his age. If they don't want us in their prime, we don't want them in their decline. ESPECIALLY when we've built ourselves up and have our pick of any woman as a successful 32 year old.
On the list of things that are first going in descending order are just not the same between men and women you might have exceptions, but the majority are going to be different, especially based on goals and usually the grass is greener in someone’s yard over their septic tank, so be careful, jumping fences for other peoples, joy, happiness, and so on because you never know what’s beneath it
Men understand their competition and women do not. For some reason, most women feel they’ll have unlimited access to top men. Hell…even in top markets it’s tough for women. He’s right, as long as he makes money…he can be 39 and nap a 21 year old . I’ve seen it.
I would really appreciate a dating predictions video.
I think Hikikomori is the future of dating. There will be more and more men in the bottom 80% who socially withdraw and quit dating to be alone. I think women will start becoming more conservative, abandoning feminism & liberalism, waking up to how toxic most feminists are, with their hatred and resentment of men - along with all the other crazy ideologies of the far left. Last year I spoke to 3 women who turned away from the left and feminism. This whole process will probably take decades
I hope this is true. I can't find any women with morals/values and I'm sure conservative women have the same issue.
@@mikefran1992 from my experience, an easy way to filter out immoral women who have no self control is to just go to a church. I am close friends with a Christian girl who’s about 24, still a virgin and quite beautiful (a lot of men find her physically attractive). Genuine Christian women in church are submissive as well, it clearly says in the Bible that women must submit to their husbands. I am sure this applies to other religions like Islam and Judaism too, I’m just using Christianity as an example because I’m a Christian.
I enjoy being friends with her as she restores my faith in humanity that pure, innocent and beautiful women with morals do exist. I think a woman’s parents play a huge role. My ex had a history of sleeping around, hope a plethora of mental health issues, and was a hardcore feminist who believed she was oppressed by the patriarchy, casual sex was “empowering” for women, and “consent” magically makes any sexual morally justifiable. It’s no surprise that her mum was an absolute psycho and she had to move out, her entire family have cut the mother off. In a way you can forgive people for their evil actions when you really understand they are a product of their environment and their parents. But of course once you are an adult it’s your responsibility to sort yourself out.
I am fairly familiar with Japan since the late 1980s. Back then, the concept of arranged marriage had collapsed and young women rejected the old fashioned notion that they automatically gave up work when married. They wanted to earn their own money and say single. The net result is men and women are increasingly disengaged, Hikikomori, 'hookups' and the even weirder concept which you can see on TH-cam of 'renting a girlfriend' by the day.
@@brianthesnail3815 thank you for your comment, that’s really informative.
As someone who’s familiar with Japan, do you agree that this distopia could be the future of the west?
I know I sound pessimistic and I really don’t like to be. I’m almost ALWAYS an optimist. In the far far future I do have hope that it will all resolve.
Perhaps women will go back to more traditional and conservative values as a response to so many men socially withdrawing.
This is a controversial statement to say considering how woke some people are, but I do believe that women will get sick and tired of behaving like men, as feminism has taught them - and want to return to their biological & traditional role of being a mother and not working. Interested to hear your thoughts.
@@chenugent Yes I do believe that Western societies will follow Japan. Its already very visible in Italy where again young women specifically rejected marriage because it typically meant giving up work and living in the home of the mother in law with her husband. In large part this is being driven by basic economics.
From a woman's point of view, she will typically look to 'marry up' and increase her economic position relative to where she is now. That means marrying a higher earning man. However, women now have their own earning power. That sets the bar far higher for the men they want to date and marry.
I really like your channel because of your middle-ground outlook. I have been feeling like a migtow, then realizing I was to far to that side. Your videos got me back to, "maybe I should open up to dating again?' I'm a hell of a guy. Many girls I know say your so good looking why don't ya have a girlfriend? I'd just like my equal. But I've been dating a long time and I see that most attractive girls are married or have a boyfriend. The things you see, are not necessarily the things you can find. Thanks for getting me out of the migtow frame of mind. Keep up the good work. thanks. again
MGTOW is cope. What a lonely existence.
That happened for me as well. Complete got out of dating for years and years focused complete on my self, got my house in order. Then came to find out 32 was getting really really late in the game.
8:36 - amnesia much? How about the female desire for the three 6’s?
M69 here. This video makes me laugh. All of these young people who think if they check all the boxes they can have everything they want. There is an old saying. Life is what happens while you are making other plans. The fact is you can do everything right and still not get what you want. Everyone is so overly focused on getting what they want. Maybe someone should start thinking about what they can give.
Very wise point.
I spent 10 years focusing on building my career, not to get some hot 21 year old when I'm 30, but because that's how long it took me to make enough to be confident I could support a family.
But it also does seem that at least on the surface that many women are way more interested in status than anything else. I was 6'1" and very athletic in my 20s but no one was at all interested in my 30k a year salary. I'm now just over 30, still reasonably athletic, but now have the 6 figure income. It's funny to me how much that one thing seems to change the picture.
But, I also think it's now harder for me to "fall for someone" in the same way as may have been possible in the past. I'm far more set in my ways, much more independent, and maybe even slightly less agreeable. I can no longer build a life together with someone in the same way as when I was 20, because everything I have I achieved on my own. So those are factors to consider if you decide to wait until you're established.
Things will change but I promise it’ll be for the worst. With bad advice from tik tok and Twitter/X and more people becoming chronically online it’s not realistic to expect dating to ever get better. I don’t want to sound negative but it’s been getting worse and worse every year
I earn a 6 figure salary have a 7 fig net worth and don't advertise that it other than I drop a hint, like traveling around the world. I'm fit and kinda attractive but barely get any responses on dating sites. Oh well, better to be single than land a gold digger.
if men and woman dated for personality rather than money alot of people would be different
Men don't date for money. They date for youth and beauty.
Women are the ones who date for money and status.
Personality is the icing on the cake for most people.
Thing is, personality won't get you and your descendants far.. money is required
@@pace1195 Stand out looking attractive lazy guys who don't wanna work can date women for their money, but they are quite rare obviously
Completely agree with what Courtney is saying in this video. I lived in NYC for 14 years, mostly in Manhattan. It's the worst place for dating. Would not recommend. That guy was honest with the woman in the TikTok video.
It comes down to values, maturity and sense of responsibility when finding a partner when dating..
Every time i watch one of Courtneys videos discussing dating the general impression i get from the comments is that its a painful process, finding your ideal match of a partner is not easy, fair enough, but its ultimately worthwhile , a lot of things in life arent easy Be more social would be my advice
Ultimately worthwhile yes. But then again will those same people say that a few years from now? No, some of those will have been cheated on and either divorced or broken up. Sad but it is a reality.
I think my ideal is jesus 😅