To have a family that neither supports you nor understands you is painful. Whenever they try to pull me down and attack me with mean words I just start right away in the same moment talking to myself in a loving way. Cheering up myself, believing in me and forgiving them for their weaknesses. It‘s also important for me to keep distance what is sad but necrssary for the soul to flourish. Never allow anyone to pull you down. Not even your family has the right to do that. Love and believe in yourself unconditionally
Thank you, it is the same for me. They only discourage and put me down. I was suffering after such an incident now. They were actually blaming me for trying to work on my business and did not listen to logic. I was so upset and crying and having a panic attack. But, though I am still upset, your comment has helped me a little, thanks.
"you need to become the parent that you needed" this hurts so much I'm just here crying now, I wish had the emotional support that people who came from good families have, now crying online and alone with nothing, despite always treating other people right
@@Marisoualiasnanou It's a good question, it would depend on how one's past experiences shaped how they are now. The values, behaviors, attitudes, character, wisdom and how they treat others. I've seen many in this same boat just become a similar version of the parents and just repeat the same cycle. I'd have to see a certain higher level of conduct to see what happens
@@AverageAngel I like how well put out your reply is haha i would be honored to show you how some people can be completely different from their abusive parents hehe once you have the awareness you can go get the knowledge thanks to internet! ^^
Mel: "it's just incredible to know that you have someone who's always in your corner" Me: It's the first time in my life that i realize how alone i am .... that hit me hard
This one got to me...so much so that I'm actually commenting! I'm in my 40's and my parents have never told me they were proud of me. I do wonder what my life would have been like had they cheered me on? I'm incredibly luckily that I have a husband that does and I make sure I tell my children that I'm proud of them. I want them to always feel that I have their backs. I just need to work on cheering myself on...that's a tough one! Thank you Mel for your lovely words.
Same here. Recently I caught myself few times thinking what would've happened to me and my brother, what maybe we could achieved if our parents were capable of loving, caring, if our mother divorced our father.. It is sad story actually, she loves only him and he loves only himself. They're old people now but nothing's ever changed, only my brother and I now in our 40 dealing with our lives best that we can, not very happy and not very healthy. Silver lining, my brother and I have a great relationship, really being there for each other, knowing how important love and support is.
@@victoryragno your story sounds a bit like mine 💔Unfortunately there is not much we can do about our past. But we must try to find joy in our lives because we do deserve it. You are so lucky to have a close relationship with your brother. Now you must start looking after yourself too. Remember, the fact that your parents were incapable of loving you or anyone else does not mean you are unlovable. You are totally lovable, ask your brother. He will confirm. Just like you love him even tho your parents didn’t. It was your parents’ loss in the end. Sending you lots of love and cheering you on ❤️
I never had a parent who cheered for me. Like most other Asian parents, I had a single mom who would always criticize and constantly put me down while telling me how disappointed she is, as a way to 'motivate'' me LOL. Now, that NEVER worked. I am 37 years old, and I still don't feel comfortable around my mom although I do care for her, and I have never emotionally relied on her, ever. I have 2 daughters and I want to educate myself on being a great mom because I never had that type of role model, so I appreciate watching your videos as a great learning tool.
Good on you, I am proud of you and I feel from here in Australia that you must be doing a great job for your daughters. Don't give up. Keep going. It's like a plane, there hits a point when it's safer to be in the air than on the ground.
Probably out of frustration that your father wasn't there to help in the parenting together. It's better to have both parents when raising their children.
I'm 15 and having quite the same struggles now. My mom passed away when I was a toddler and my dad just left me to my aunt and grandmother. My aunt is a single mother with my cousin. They're always busy with work from 9 to 7 to provide for me and my cousin and barely manage to take proper care of themselves. They always express how it's so exhausting to bring food to our table. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but I just can't help but feel disappointed when my aunt drinks and comes home late, like every two days. I've already lost hope about her alcoholism, considering she's been like that since I've started to live with her. And my relationship with her has worsened lately because I can't stand being like nothing has happened anymore when she's constantly lying to me and disappointing me. Why I'm highlighting my aunt is that I just secretly want a supportive parent figure inside my heart. And it just feels like the closest person to that is my aunt. Let's just skip the fact that my dad exists, since he's been a total jerk to me every time I have met him ever since I was a kid. It's just that I need someone who I can rely on in some way. Recently I've come to realize that my aunt and grandmother aren't just dependable enough people. Sometimes I wonder if I really deserve any kind of nice things that I have. I just feel the way I live is neither here nor there.
I legit woke up today thinking I need to adopt some parents.... and this just nailed the box for me! Haven't had a mum or dad my whole life... I have a mad cheer squad... and cheer for myself but sometimes... I just need an adult!
@artofcreation_photos .... this lead up to Christmas has been emotionally kicking my ass..... I appreciate the freakin frick out of your comment... All the angels I've met.... are all here on earth homie 🤟 thank you again for the out reach 🖤👽🛸 I know the universe has been hearing me where I stand as the woman I am today.
I ran away from home when I was 18. I just couldn’t take the abuse anymore been on my own ever since. Had my first kickboxing match last year and even though I won I couldn’t help but notice the kid had family cheering him on and a coach who supported him giving him advice every step of the way while I was alone with everyone booing me. I wish I had that kind of love and support. couldn’t help but sit in my car and cry once it was over.
Legitimately just hear my mom shitting all over the work I've finally found, and am starting tomorrow. Acting like I'm stupid for taking work where i can get it like my failures haven't already made me feel like enough of a waste. Apparently even when I'm doing my best to have some kind of worth, it's just stupidity. I feel like shit right now, but i know if i cry I'll only feel worse. Thank you for this video. Truly. Thank you.
I'm really trying my best to succeed and become who really I aim to be. My parents didn't discourage me but neither support, they're like indifferent and I'don't talk with them very much. It's been almost like 2 years that I try to educate and motivate myself to be better every day but sometimes it's hard beacuse it's like a solitary route between you and yourself. But I guess life it's also this, thank you for this video ❤ Ps: sorry for my english, I'm not a native speaker
Great English! Your parents may have no clue how to cheer you on but I believe they love you and are proud of you in ways they can not be for themselves. I'm proud your bravery to share your story with us. Keep moving forward and upward!
You are very blessed to have that unconditional cheer squad Mel My parents of course love me but they have never been capable of supporting me! They have never understood my goals.. I ran a fitness studio for 5 years; my mum bless her told me it’s great I had a hobby! I told my dad I would write a book one day! He told me I did not have the vocabulary to write a book! That shattered my soul! But funnily as my life has rolled on, it’s through my writing and now my candid pep talks or I like to call them “morale boosts” on here, It’s in fact my words that are now beginning to touch others! Of course I could only hope one day to have even a percentage of the impact you have! But I will write that book! Actually I will write a series of books one day because I haven’t come this far through the storms of my life to go no further! Thank you! Your wisdom resonates always 💕
Sometimes i see people have fun and laugh with their parents, and still at 21 I just want to know what that's like. I've become everything I've wanted to become and I'm proud of who I am now but still, I just want a hug.
🫂🫂 I feel sorry that you've gone through that and you know what I'm going through the same . As a teenager all i want is a understanding parent but i know it's never gonna happen and I'm happy you've become what you wanted to , I want to pursue my dream too and I'm very well aware my parents won't be supportive of my dream . I will take you as an example to follow my path. Thank you for sharing ❤
Well coming from an enmeshed and emotional incest family I thought all that laughing and getting along was love yet it wasn't it was unknown boundary violations, altering yourself so much you thought you fit in, taking any grain of nice as love and rolling with it. I thought my family was the close family until I've done alot of healing now I'm seeing how not loving that was, how much crap fitting went into it, and how much unknown emotional incest we all were doing thinking it was normal expressions of love yet there is a line between caring, love, and emotional incest and we had no idea about lines cuz you'd have to know and apply boundaries for which our family had little to none amongst most members you were with the hive or rejected until they needed to siphon something from you.
thank you ❤ I feel terribly alone since i hit my 40.. its seem that i was numb and didnt realize i was sooo alone. im 44 now and going to hit 45 soon.. im trying my best to be strong.. but its seem my memory or headspace can heal from it.. matter im trying to think like you, be positive, cheer myslef up seem to not be enough to heal from having no familly.. maybe im doing things wrong because i feel more and more sad everyday.. and im doing my best!!!!!!!!!❤ thank you for your videos, I will try to make it better and not give up.
I understand you. I am 41 and live in a different country with my children and no family support or any support of anyone. I feel terribly alone and as if I have lost spark to live. As if there is nothing to live for. Of course I have my children but the loneliness inside, that feeling of no shoulder to cry on, no one to share or no one to hug you. It’s very sad. I am tired of being strong, my Soul is tired.
Appreciate this reminder, my parents aren't openly supportive but finding myself and being able to cheer myself on, and feeling good of what I'm doing, and how I'm doing things I never even imagined 🥰
I am sorry but without good support children grow up into insecure and wounded adults who feel alone in the world and lack self esteem. Yes, we have to cheer for ourself and all that … we know this rationally and we say this to ourselves. But we can’t override the inner feeling of the opposite. Everyone needs support in this World.
My daughter and I live by the motto: Friends are the family that you choose for yourself. People like you have cheered and supported us through some very hard times. The fact that your parents rooted for you made it possible for you to encourage others. And then we lift up coworkers and neighbors, and so on...
Thanks a lot, Mel for the beautiful message ❤️! I’d also like to add: surround yourself with supportive people and limit your interactions with people you have no meaningul connection with. Both in person and online. You’ll notice a great difference in your balance and emotions👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽. Much love!
Both of my parents are gone. I watched a movie yesterday where a mother was expressing her appreciation and pride in her daughter's life choices. I started bawling my eyes out as I do not remember my mother ever telling me these things. I'm 62 years old!! I've been through a lot. I got sober 25 years ago and raised my son on my own without support from anyone. I try to remember to say this to my staff regularly. It means so much to them.
Felt sad when you are giving your 100 percent still they asking for results so soon, in case of my family every day, have to struggle for money, even when you are studying they come up and ask when will you provide money, that's really sad also in this time when a child is providing their best still they taunt us That's really hurt me a lot of times.
Watching this right now, made me feel way more better than before, but also its kinda sad that u can get good Energie, positive vibes, from someone on yt, but meanwhile get the opposite kind of feelings from your parents, wich I find really sad, thank you so much for this video it really cheared me up
I want to be a professional footballer one day, at first my dad was giggling and then he found out about the improvements, My mom still isn’t supportive, she wants me to be a doctor or an engineer. Im not into that kind of stuff because I like sports more, and Football is a world sport. For a whole 2-3 months I’ve been playing football a lot, I was one of the worst in my class, after a month, Im the best in the class, a few more months and Im better than people that are older/more experienced than me. But I can see my mom slowly getting more and more supportive, In a few months I’ll have tryouts, Send prayers!
Wow, Mel Thank you for this! I needed this because my mother- (who I love so much) has been abusive physically, mentally and emotionally to me for years... seeing Happy Mothers Day cards and messages always breaks my heart. However I GOT ME! I got my back and I had to get myself back up and dust myself off. To see a woman like you, so genuine and so understanding I just wanted to say I heard this message and it resonated with me. Love Xx
THANK YOU SO MUCH MEL. As well as you are, I am an attorney but from Cuba . I decided to come to US and recently graduated law school again. Unfortunately, I did not have my parent's support to any of these decisions and resonate to this videos in so many ways. You're right, I had to be my own parent and step up, push myself in a diferente county, in a different language, and overcome everything. It is extremely tough, but ... Your videos are awesome. You're like my auntie :) ...
My parents are abolutely unable to understand me and my life choices and it really makes me sad. If I didn't believe in myself, my parents would make me so depressed. Sometimes it really feels like living with strangers. No matter what I say they will never understand, so it's better not to say anything at all.
people on this Earth will disappoint us hurt us and never show any empathy. But you are a child of God and have a father that loves you more than any Earthly person can. He will never leave you nor forsake you. You are a new creation in Christ. Amen
Took me a while to watch this as I knew I'd find it emotional! I love my folks but, for whatever reason they are not really ableto be supportive of me or my sisters and never have been. It is hard but I know how important it is to support myself. Mel, wise and caring as always, thanks for being there xxx
Hey Mel! I wanted to say I love this video... I just watched it and it literally made me cry, which I never really do... I want my parents to be there for me so so bad. And I am practicing accepting that they give what they can. Sometimes I slip and wish and expect them to be there to love and support me normally, but I can come back around, no matter how hurt I am from what they say or do to me, and I can remind myself .. it is their problem... Not mine! It's hard to do that, I'm barely learning but mainly I really wanted to say... Thank you for saying this. I have so little support no one will tell me they are proud of me esp my parents when I am a single mom in my own apt maintaining housing and foodstamps etc and home schooling making appts to better myself and my kid, the maintaining resources like housing, food stamps, etc. Is a job in itself. Then a single mama? That's a full-time job esp when I wasn't taught the right way to be a mama. So you saying just focus on being the parent I needed, it makes me cry because I never had the parent I needed my whole life. They can't be that person and if I can totally let that go, I can be the parent I'm supposed to be. I had my kid tell me today that when she grows up and has a kid... She is going to do things better than me. That shows me I am repeating patterns of my parents, even with the appts I go to to avoid that... The appts are now messed up and the ppl aren't helping much anymore, but anyways .. thank you for the video. It was the nicest thing anyone has said to me. I try so hard to get things done and all the places I deal w, housing, foodstamps, etc., They treat me horribly bcuz they don't wanna help anyone right now... It's so hard and I'm trying and now will start finding your videos more... I haven't seen. Lot of new ones I think bcuz you started a class?? I couldn't afford it but hopefully soon you can post a lot more this saved me at this point I'm not even kidding. Thank you with everything. Your the best and nicest person I know. You have accomplished so much I am very proud of you too!! 🙂 Thank you!
Thank you for sharing this. I’ve never experienced something like this from my parents and for a second there I was able to imaging how it would be like.
Narcissistic parents are so damaging - thank goodness for 80's TV; Family-of-choice is healing when family-by-blood is broken. (Robin of Sherwood HBO series from late 80's- highly recommend ;)
TV raised me too. I'd watch the Brady Bunch and think that they were extraordinary parents because they talked to their kids and listened. Turned out that's what parents are supposed to do.
Dear Mel, i'm so glad i've clicked on your video ! i'm one of too many people with a unsupportive parent, while having special needs, my world was based on their competition rules, i was never enough, and having a facial deformity i've been overprotected, and gaslighted all my life, now i'm 43 and my mom is getting really vicious, and she is now in the process to try to hurt me... i've been neglected from a lot in my life, so trying my best to heal from also waay to much stuff i would like to thank you for this super video !
I was raised by two narcissistic parents. No encouragement. I only remember my parents hugging me 4 times. If it wasn't for a few "church ladies" around me, learning how to journal, my books and music, I don't think I would have thrived. When I was a teenager, I read a teen novel called Honey, where I learned about what's called a Mother Pie. The whole pie symbolizes what we need from our mothers. When our mother is lacking, you find pieces of that Mother Pie in other people in your life. As a young girl, the book gave me permission to find Mothers elsewhere. It helped, and I felt less guilty for finding my chosen family. When my son was younger, I gave him permission to allow other people into his chosen family too. I still have self-esteem issues that crop up now and then but, I'm glad we're at a time where there is access to tools available to help with that.
Don’t give lecture when you don’t know. Lack of these things cause tangible deficit in tangible resources causing health issues where u can’t just change it. Stop lectures you don’t know - ❤
if this girl ever dies my life will be no meaning without her , shes like a mum or a big sister to me , when ever i watch this video when im down i feel alot more better my dream is to be a hip hop dancer i have my own dance seasons in my room when ever im sad or happy or just feeling nothing i dance i dance alot and i love it i started dancing ever since i was about 3 and im 15 now hoping to be a fame dancer when i group up dancing is a hoobie and my talent thank u for being an amazing person i love your videos so much they inspire me to work harder on my dreams i have unsupportive parents they dont want me to be a dancer they want me to become something that im not and its just not my thing so thank u so much .
Thanks a lot Mel, your good wishes and care are very conforting. Unfortunatelly not every parent deserves to be, so people Who are reading this and have loving and caring parents please LOVE them back a lot and appreciate them for being like that. Don't take them for granted.
So close to my heart. This video has changed my perspective. Thank you Mel Robbins. Grateful for getting this video... If anyone else need friends or family support, remember "I am here for you"
The first half of this video triggered me so hard! Like i was like is this lady trolling?? She is bragging and rubbing it in my face that nobody loves me???? Then she made a little more sense with the title lol but damn some people might not even make it to the rest of the video LOL
Thank you for the video. I have been in a bad moment with my mom but, hopefully, I will get out of this and show her that I was right to believe in myself. Thank you for the words saying that you're here with me and many others...
Thank you so much Mel beyond description😍🤩... For always being there & spreading such a great hope for millions of people who in need of that support... God bless you forever 🙏❤️
Without giving any details so I don't go back in that loop Mel thank you. I so need it and have to be the parent. It feels like I have the burden of the whole world because of my parents are against me and so is my family.
Hearing this filled me with calm, thank you so much for giving me what I have been searching for from people who have shown they cannot give it to me x
You have really been there for me when I needed you and I appreciate your clear practical posts on issues we all struggle with. My parents didn’t know they weren’t supporting me. They were working a lot and I spent most of my only child life between grandparents or a tv. I reacted badly and rebelled for attention. Later I entertained for attention eventually my codependency morphed into alcoholism and compulsive addiction. Finally when I gave up doing life on my own I used therapy and aa to connect for help. Learning to love me and be there for me has been a lifetime job. After 30 years of recovery and 3 failed alcoholic marriages I am finally putting the bat down and allowing myself to see life thru grateful eyes. I still need help not to hide from myself and to celebrate me so keep posting please.
My mom won’t let me follow my dream major cuz it doesn’t make enough money. I got so mad one time i told her i wish she’s dead. No matter what, she won’t let me. I want to find a boyfriend to help me escape.
You are blessed you are loved ....Thank God for life breath and being. I did not ask to be born but here I am I'm here for purpose so God help me b who you want me to be
Watching this video, I realized I've never done anything I have wanted to do. It's always just been my dad, molding me into some kind of perfect angel that wasn't anything like me. I'm 16 (a Junior) and my dad does anything but support me. He's narcissistic, toxic, and manipulative. He's controlled too much of my life, and I do not care anymore. I am going to do what I want, and I'm not letting him dictate my future anymore. I recently told my parents that I am going to become a firefighter and start that process as soon as I finish high school. My mom is supportive but a little worried, but my dad doesn't want that for me at all. He says it's too dangerous and he doesn't want me to be in any line of duty in my life, but lol. I am not listening to him. Firefighting has always been in the back of my mind since I was nine and watched my first 9/11 documentary in school. I've already planned out step-by-step and when I get my driver's license this summer I'm going to start volunteering at my local department, just to make sure this is what I really want. In the end though, I'm very positive that this is what I want to do in my life. I've had firefighters in my family and I haven't necessarily been surrounded by it my whole life, but I want to save people and be brave for once. I feel a calling for it and if my parents don't ever support me, that will be THEIR problem, not mine. It is my life and when I turn 18, I will follow my dreams, no matter what they say.
My parents told me, "Shame on you" 3x in the same conversation (same sentence) as discouraging my ultimate plans and dreams. (Among hundreds of others) I've been cheering myself double time since then, and I will conquer! :)
thank you for this video, thank you for all that you go on doing. I really appreciate everything and I hope to meet you in person in ITALY or USA. God bless you! Roberta from ITALY, Language Tutor and Writer x
this video saved my life. thank you for what you do. and I hope to be half the woman you are and to inspire, love, and help so many struggling children/adults one day.
Thanks Mel...for your kind words...wish you were my big sis! I feel very alone..just thinking about how more mentally stable I would be if I had support from my parents...but I dont...I get that we need to be our own parents...but sometimes you just need to be the kid and have someone tell you..it will all be ok...
I seek so desperately my mom’s support but I never get it and it hurts so bad. I get it from everyone else but her the person I crave it from. When I share with her or my sister good things that happen or what I’m working towards or my dreams my mom indirectly tells me how others have fail basically telling me I shouldn’t try! I have even confronted her about this telling her how much it hurts me and asked her why she does this. Her face was priceless a long silence fallowed and she came up with I say that to motive you! I told her it didn’t and it hurts me deeply and she just continues on with her so called hurtful motivation. I feel like this with my sister too she’s not as bad but close she completely dismisses me or brings up all the negative points. It has never stoped me and I do reach my dreams but with zero support from them and obviously no recognition once I do it!!! I am a huge dreamer but I act on them so it’s not like it’s just dreaming and I don’t at the very least try to go for it! It hurts, it sucks but I trek on. On top of this they are the first ones I want to share things with! I know it won’t change but I always hope it will. This time it’s huge and it requires me to move away . I even considered not doing it because I love them so much but after our last few interactions that feeling of guilt of leaving just vanished in thin air. It’s actually making it easier but it still sucks
You where close to the camera .. saw your beautiful details while telling me these beautiful touching simple words♥️ thank u,, on this state i just need beautiful speech, your speech I can see how much you try to be real to let us really feel ♥️✨
🦋💝 Thank you Mel ! It's hard to believe we deserve to be loved when not supported. But everyone has their own past and trauma. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgivness, but because you deserve peace" - Jonathan Lockwood Huie. Love yourself
Amen to that Sister ❤🙏 I can't say the sane. But, that's okay. I can honestly say I am sooo #grateful to God above that you had parents that #empowered & encouraged you. I'm afraid to think had that #not been the case...we would never have had the chance & the honor to know you #MelRobbins ❤❌
Its great to have supportive parents 🙂 I've been lucky enough to have parents who always stand by my side whenever storm hits me!! They always give me hope and I end up not giving up easily 😇
They are always there to discourage and compare me, more than they cheering me up.
Be your own parent, you got this 💖
Same here...
Same!
Damn true
they dont know different. Dont blame them. Just move on and find your life
To have a family that neither supports you nor understands you is painful.
Whenever they try to pull me down and attack me with mean words I just start right away in the same moment talking to myself in a loving way. Cheering up myself, believing in me and forgiving them for their weaknesses. It‘s also important for me to keep distance what is sad but necrssary for the soul to flourish.
Never allow anyone to pull you down. Not even your family has the right to do that.
Love and believe in yourself unconditionally
I'm really sorry your family isn't there for you, it must be a real pain dealing with life alone, you won't be alone forever that I can tell you
Thank you ❤
Absolutely
Thank you, it is the same for me. They only discourage and put me down. I was suffering after such an incident now. They were actually blaming me for trying to work on my business and did not listen to logic. I was so upset and crying and having a panic attack. But, though I am still upset, your comment has helped me a little, thanks.
Today I was showing my mom a video to prove why I should be homeschooled and she didn’t even watch and shoed me away and said no 😥
Tears rolled down my cheeks when she said "you have me, I'm proud of you"
🖐️
Me too I was crying the whole time
Me too
"you need to become the parent that you needed" this hurts so much I'm just here crying now, I wish had the emotional support that people who came from good families have, now crying online and alone with nothing, despite always treating other people right
Did you ever find that person to be in your corner? I was gonna type exactly your message so just wondering...
@@Marisoualiasnanou No I didn't yet, won't be giving up though, although it may take a while
@@AverageAngel ...o encouraging... lol.. What would happen if two people like us met one another?
@@Marisoualiasnanou It's a good question, it would depend on how one's past experiences shaped how they are now. The values, behaviors, attitudes, character, wisdom and how they treat others. I've seen many in this same boat just become a similar version of the parents and just repeat the same cycle. I'd have to see a certain higher level of conduct to see what happens
@@AverageAngel I like how well put out your reply is haha i would be honored to show you how some people can be completely different from their abusive parents hehe once you have the awareness you can go get the knowledge thanks to internet! ^^
Mel: "it's just incredible to know that you have someone who's always in your corner"
Me: It's the first time in my life that i realize how alone i am .... that hit me hard
Hello dr tuda can help you just as he did mine too
He helped me secure my marriage
Whzapp him
+ 2 3 4 8 1 5 6 8 9 6 4 3 6💞
Me too😭
This one got to me...so much so that I'm actually commenting!
I'm in my 40's and my parents have never told me they were proud of me. I do wonder what my life would have been like had they cheered me on? I'm incredibly luckily that I have a husband that does and I make sure I tell my children that I'm proud of them. I want them to always feel that I have their backs. I just need to work on cheering myself on...that's a tough one!
Thank you Mel for your lovely words.
Same here. Recently I caught myself few times thinking what would've happened to me and my brother, what maybe we could achieved if our parents were capable of loving, caring, if our mother divorced our father.. It is sad story actually, she loves only him and he loves only himself. They're old people now but nothing's ever changed, only my brother and I now in our 40 dealing with our lives best that we can, not very happy and not very healthy. Silver lining, my brother and I have a great relationship, really being there for each other, knowing how important love and support is.
I cheer for you Clare! You are doing a great job with your kids 👏 all power to you for deciding to be better and not bitter 💪
@@victoryragno your story sounds a bit like mine 💔Unfortunately there is not much we can do about our past. But we must try to find joy in our lives because we do deserve it. You are so lucky to have a close relationship with your brother. Now you must start looking after yourself too. Remember, the fact that your parents were incapable of loving you or anyone else does not mean you are unlovable. You are totally lovable, ask your brother. He will confirm. Just like you love him even tho your parents didn’t. It was your parents’ loss in the end. Sending you lots of love and cheering you on ❤️
@@SusanaSkies Thank you ❤️❤️
Are we related ? Lol . My parents were/are the same way. I broke the cycle with my daughter. She knows I'm her #1 supporter
I never had a parent who cheered for me. Like most other Asian parents, I had a single mom who would always criticize and constantly put me down while telling me how disappointed she is, as a way to 'motivate'' me LOL. Now, that NEVER worked. I am 37 years old, and I still don't feel comfortable around my mom although I do care for her, and I have never emotionally relied on her, ever. I have 2 daughters and I want to educate myself on being a great mom because I never had that type of role model, so I appreciate watching your videos as a great learning tool.
Good on you, I am proud of you and I feel from here in Australia that you must be doing a great job for your daughters. Don't give up. Keep going. It's like a plane, there hits a point when it's safer to be in the air than on the ground.
Probably out of frustration that your father wasn't there to help in the parenting together. It's better to have both parents when raising their children.
I'm 15 and having quite the same struggles now. My mom passed away when I was a toddler and my dad just left me to my aunt and grandmother. My aunt is a single mother with my cousin. They're always busy with work from 9 to 7 to provide for me and my cousin and barely manage to take proper care of themselves. They always express how it's so exhausting to bring food to our table. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but I just can't help but feel disappointed when my aunt drinks and comes home late, like every two days. I've already lost hope about her alcoholism, considering she's been like that since I've started to live with her. And my relationship with her has worsened lately because I can't stand being like nothing has happened anymore when she's constantly lying to me and disappointing me. Why I'm highlighting my aunt is that I just secretly want a supportive parent figure inside my heart. And it just feels like the closest person to that is my aunt. Let's just skip the fact that my dad exists, since he's been a total jerk to me every time I have met him ever since I was a kid. It's just that I need someone who I can rely on in some way. Recently I've come to realize that my aunt and grandmother aren't just dependable enough people. Sometimes I wonder if I really deserve any kind of nice things that I have. I just feel the way I live is neither here nor there.
You're very lucky mel! I started crying when I read what they wrote. Many of us do not have what you have. What a gift
I legit woke up today thinking I need to adopt some parents.... and this just nailed the box for me!
Haven't had a mum or dad my whole life...
I have a mad cheer squad... and cheer for myself but sometimes... I just need an adult!
You deserve a loving and supportive parent figure.
@@pandapower3369 thank you Lisa!
@artofcreation_photos .... this lead up to Christmas has been emotionally kicking my ass..... I appreciate the freakin frick out of your comment... All the angels I've met.... are all here on earth homie 🤟 thank you again for the out reach 🖤👽🛸 I know the universe has been hearing me where I stand as the woman I am today.
I ran away from home when I was 18. I just couldn’t take the abuse anymore been on my own ever since. Had my first kickboxing match last year and even though I won I couldn’t help but notice the kid had family cheering him on and a coach who supported him giving him advice every step of the way while I was alone with everyone booing me. I wish I had that kind of love and support. couldn’t help but sit in my car and cry once it was over.
The feeling of you don't have anyone is soul crusing
I’m so sorry ❤
Legitimately just hear my mom shitting all over the work I've finally found, and am starting tomorrow. Acting like I'm stupid for taking work where i can get it like my failures haven't already made me feel like enough of a waste. Apparently even when I'm doing my best to have some kind of worth, it's just stupidity. I feel like shit right now, but i know if i cry I'll only feel worse. Thank you for this video. Truly. Thank you.
I'm really trying my best to succeed and become who really I aim to be. My parents didn't discourage me but neither support, they're like indifferent and I'don't talk with them very much. It's been almost like 2 years that I try to educate and motivate myself to be better every day but sometimes it's hard beacuse it's like a solitary route between you and yourself. But I guess life it's also this, thank you for this video ❤
Ps: sorry for my english, I'm not a native speaker
Great English! Your parents may have no clue how to cheer you on but I believe they love you and are proud of you in ways they can not be for themselves. I'm proud your bravery to share your story with us. Keep moving forward and upward!
@@DatDamnNatashaa thank you Natasha, I really appreciate it 🥺❤
You do well for a non native speaker. 💕👯♀️🌞
Great English. You go girl!
Same here with me
You are very blessed to have that unconditional cheer squad Mel
My parents of course love me but they have never been capable of supporting me!
They have never understood my goals..
I ran a fitness studio for 5 years;
my mum bless her told me it’s great I had a hobby!
I told my dad I would write a book one day!
He told me I did not have the vocabulary to write a book!
That shattered my soul!
But funnily as my life has rolled on,
it’s through my writing and now my candid pep talks or I like to call them “morale boosts” on here,
It’s in fact my words that are now beginning to touch others!
Of course I could only hope one day to have even a percentage of the impact you have!
But I will write that book!
Actually I will write a series of books one day because I haven’t come this far through the storms of my life to go no further!
Thank you!
Your wisdom resonates always 💕
Sometimes i see people have fun and laugh with their parents, and still at 21 I just want to know what that's like. I've become everything I've wanted to become and I'm proud of who I am now but still, I just want a hug.
🫂🫂 I feel sorry that you've gone through that and you know what I'm going through the same . As a teenager all i want is a understanding parent but i know it's never gonna happen and I'm happy you've become what you wanted to , I want to pursue my dream too and I'm very well aware my parents won't be supportive of my dream . I will take you as an example to follow my path. Thank you for sharing ❤
🫂❤️❤️
Well coming from an enmeshed and emotional incest family I thought all that laughing and getting along was love yet it wasn't it was unknown boundary violations, altering yourself so much you thought you fit in, taking any grain of nice as love and rolling with it. I thought my family was the close family until I've done alot of healing now I'm seeing how not loving that was, how much crap fitting went into it, and how much unknown emotional incest we all were doing thinking it was normal expressions of love yet there is a line between caring, love, and emotional incest and we had no idea about lines cuz you'd have to know and apply boundaries for which our family had little to none amongst most members you were with the hive or rejected until they needed to siphon something from you.
🤗❤
Mel, I always liked watching ur videos...today u have touched my heart...thank u...im 47 and crying like a baby
Yep... I have one those non-supporters. I try my best not to let it affect me. Thanks for all that you do.
thank you ❤ I feel terribly alone since i hit my 40.. its seem that i was numb and didnt realize i was sooo alone. im 44 now and going to hit 45 soon.. im trying my best to be strong.. but its seem my memory or headspace can heal from it.. matter im trying to think like you, be positive, cheer myslef up seem to not be enough to heal from having no familly.. maybe im doing things wrong because i feel more and more sad everyday.. and im doing my best!!!!!!!!!❤ thank you for your videos, I will try to make it better and not give up.
I understand you. I am 41 and live in a different country with my children and no family support or any support of anyone. I feel terribly alone and as if I have lost spark to live. As if there is nothing to live for. Of course I have my children but the loneliness inside, that feeling of no shoulder to cry on, no one to share or no one to hug you. It’s very sad. I am tired of being strong, my Soul is tired.
literally started crying watching this, ilysm
Appreciate this reminder, my parents aren't openly supportive but finding myself and being able to cheer myself on, and feeling good of what I'm doing, and how I'm doing things I never even imagined 🥰
Noone has to support you! It is your journey! Be in love with it and don't be bothered of anyone's reaction to it!
Your right
Easy ro say.
People need support in life.
You'll never succeed if you need support so desperately.
I am sorry but without good support children grow up into insecure and wounded adults who feel alone in the world and lack self esteem.
Yes, we have to cheer for ourself and all that … we know this rationally and we say this to ourselves. But we can’t override the inner feeling of the opposite. Everyone needs support in this World.
Thank you, I really needed this today
My daughter and I live by the motto: Friends are the family that you choose for yourself. People like you have cheered and supported us through some very hard times. The fact that your parents rooted for you made it possible for you to encourage others. And then we lift up coworkers and neighbors, and so on...
im cryingggggg. thank you so much for this video and your kind words, i needed this so much, you beautiful soul! ❤🌺🌈
I'm literally bawling my eyes out right now. Thank you for making this
Thanks a lot, Mel for the beautiful message ❤️! I’d also like to add: surround yourself with supportive people and limit your interactions with people you have no meaningul connection with. Both in person and online. You’ll notice a great difference in your balance and emotions👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽. Much love!
I needed this today I felt down made me smile x thank you
Both of my parents are gone. I watched a movie yesterday where a mother was expressing her appreciation and pride in her daughter's life choices. I started bawling my eyes out as I do not remember my mother ever telling me these things. I'm 62 years old!! I've been through a lot. I got sober 25 years ago and raised my son on my own without support from anyone. I try to remember to say this to my staff regularly. It means so much to them.
Felt sad when you are giving your 100 percent still they asking for results so soon, in case of my family every day, have to struggle for money, even when you are studying they come up and ask when will you provide money, that's really sad also in this time when a child is providing their best still they taunt us
That's really hurt me a lot of times.
Watching this right now, made me feel way more better than before, but also its kinda sad that u can get good Energie, positive vibes, from someone on yt, but meanwhile get the opposite kind of feelings from your parents, wich I find really sad, thank you so much for this video it really cheared me up
I want to be a professional footballer one day, at first my dad was giggling and then he found out about the improvements,
My mom still isn’t supportive, she wants me to be a doctor or an engineer. Im not into that kind of stuff because I like sports more, and Football is a world sport. For a whole 2-3 months I’ve been playing football a lot, I was one of the worst in my class, after a month, Im the best in the class, a few more months and Im better than people that are older/more experienced than me.
But I can see my mom slowly getting more and more supportive, In a few months I’ll have tryouts, Send prayers!
I hope it went well for you.
I love this and I love you. I can't believe they had the nerve to cancel your show. You are such an inspiration.
After my experience with my parents i will always support my child and i will know how he feels
You also need to surround yourself only with those who love you for who you are and accept you with all of your humanness!
Wow, Mel Thank you for this!
I needed this because my mother- (who I love so much) has been abusive physically, mentally and emotionally to me for years... seeing Happy Mothers Day cards and messages always breaks my heart.
However I GOT ME! I got my back and I had to get myself back up and dust myself off.
To see a woman like you, so genuine and so understanding I just wanted to say I heard this message and it resonated with me.
Love
Xx
Strong lady, keep going! Yeah!
I feel like they’re so distant that it hurts but I know I was the one to pull back first, I wonder why.
Few words but yet so powerful! Thanks Mel!!!
Thank you MeL. I needed this. I love you.
My parent find ways to show how much they enjoy my pain. Disapproving of me is the family glue that holds everything together.
THANK YOU SO MUCH MEL. As well as you are, I am an attorney but from Cuba . I decided to come to US and recently graduated law school again. Unfortunately, I did not have my parent's support to any of these decisions and resonate to this videos in so many ways. You're right, I had to be my own parent and step up, push myself in a diferente county, in a different language, and overcome everything. It is extremely tough, but ... Your videos are awesome. You're like my auntie :) ...
Best luck for your career !
My parents are abolutely unable to understand me and my life choices and it really makes me sad. If I didn't believe in myself, my parents would make me so depressed. Sometimes it really feels like living with strangers. No matter what I say they will never understand, so it's better not to say anything at all.
Thank you so much, I do not have any parents, this made me cry...
Sending you much love ❤️
@@fc4660 awww thank you! 🤗
people on this Earth will disappoint us hurt us and never show any empathy. But you are a child of God and have a father that loves you more than any Earthly person can. He will never leave you nor forsake you. You are a new creation in Christ. Amen
@@chargennaro976 thank you so much 🤗
Im in your corner and cheering for you too your AWESOME Mel !! I cheer for my self every day. I love you too.
Thank you Mel. That's exactly what I needed to hear today.
I'm sobbing. Thank you
Took me a while to watch this as I knew I'd find it emotional! I love my folks but, for whatever reason they are not really ableto be supportive of me or my sisters and never have been. It is hard but I know how important it is to support myself.
Mel, wise and caring as always, thanks for being there xxx
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Hey Mel! I wanted to say I love this video... I just watched it and it literally made me cry, which I never really do... I want my parents to be there for me so so bad. And I am practicing accepting that they give what they can. Sometimes I slip and wish and expect them to be there to love and support me normally, but I can come back around, no matter how hurt I am from what they say or do to me, and I can remind myself .. it is their problem... Not mine! It's hard to do that, I'm barely learning but mainly I really wanted to say... Thank you for saying this. I have so little support no one will tell me they are proud of me esp my parents when I am a single mom in my own apt maintaining housing and foodstamps etc and home schooling making appts to better myself and my kid, the maintaining resources like housing, food stamps, etc. Is a job in itself. Then a single mama? That's a full-time job esp when I wasn't taught the right way to be a mama. So you saying just focus on being the parent I needed, it makes me cry because I never had the parent I needed my whole life. They can't be that person and if I can totally let that go, I can be the parent I'm supposed to be. I had my kid tell me today that when she grows up and has a kid... She is going to do things better than me. That shows me I am repeating patterns of my parents, even with the appts I go to to avoid that... The appts are now messed up and the ppl aren't helping much anymore, but anyways .. thank you for the video. It was the nicest thing anyone has said to me. I try so hard to get things done and all the places I deal w, housing, foodstamps, etc., They treat me horribly bcuz they don't wanna help anyone right now... It's so hard and I'm trying and now will start finding your videos more... I haven't seen. Lot of new ones I think bcuz you started a class?? I couldn't afford it but hopefully soon you can post a lot more this saved me at this point I'm not even kidding. Thank you with everything. Your the best and nicest person I know. You have accomplished so much I am very proud of you too!! 🙂 Thank you!
Thank you for sharing this. I’ve never experienced something like this from my parents and for a second there I was able to imaging how it would be like.
Thank you so much! i almost cried listening to this .
Thank you and I am so grateful to have see this. More kisses and hugs to my parents 🥰🥰🥰
Narcissistic parents are so damaging - thank goodness for 80's TV; Family-of-choice is healing when family-by-blood is broken. (Robin of Sherwood HBO series from late 80's- highly recommend ;)
TV raised me too. I'd watch the Brady Bunch and think that they were extraordinary parents because they talked to their kids and listened. Turned out that's what parents are supposed to do.
I really needed to hear this today. Thank you, Mel.
Dear Mel,
i'm so glad i've clicked on your video !
i'm one of too many people with a unsupportive parent, while having special needs, my world was based on their competition rules, i was never enough, and having a facial deformity i've been overprotected, and gaslighted all my life, now i'm 43 and my mom is getting really vicious, and she is now in the process to try to hurt me... i've been neglected from a lot in my life, so trying my best to heal from also waay to much stuff
i would like to thank you for this super video !
Thank you Mel ❤ I got this
I was raised by two narcissistic parents. No encouragement. I only remember my parents hugging me 4 times. If it wasn't for a few "church ladies" around me, learning how to journal, my books and music, I don't think I would have thrived. When I was a teenager, I read a teen novel called Honey, where I learned about what's called a Mother Pie. The whole pie symbolizes what we need from our mothers. When our mother is lacking, you find pieces of that Mother Pie in other people in your life. As a young girl, the book gave me permission to find Mothers elsewhere. It helped, and I felt less guilty for finding my chosen family. When my son was younger, I gave him permission to allow other people into his chosen family too. I still have self-esteem issues that crop up now and then but, I'm glad we're at a time where there is access to tools available to help with that.
Your parents raised such a beautiful daughter. You are such a lovely person.
You have the courage to take control of your life. You got this. Thanks for your inspiring everyone in the world. Love you.
I wish I had mom like you
You r amazing Mel . No bullshit just great content ! . I wish to meet you one day because im big fun of you Mel 😇5,4,3,2,1!
❤️🙏❤️ Thank You Mel
Don’t give lecture when you don’t know. Lack of these things cause tangible deficit in tangible resources causing health issues where u can’t just change it. Stop lectures you don’t know - ❤
Thank you Mel, Needed to hear this !!!
I’m so touched with 😭 tears Grateful for letting me recall my parents’ support.❤️
Wow, my parents would never do anything like this. They'd make me feel like a loser.
Love you so much Mel...... You are such a blessing....... Thank you so much for existing 💜💜🌈🌈✨✨
This brings up tears to me. Healing tears. Thank you for remembering me cheer up myself more often and less to judge. good luck to you and your work!
if this girl ever dies my life will be no meaning without her , shes like a mum or a big sister to me , when ever i watch this video when im down i feel alot more better my dream is to be a hip hop dancer i have my own dance seasons in my room when ever im sad or happy or just feeling nothing i dance i dance alot and i love it i started dancing ever since i was about 3 and im 15 now hoping to be a fame dancer when i group up dancing is a hoobie and my talent thank u for being an amazing person i love your videos so much they inspire me to work harder on my dreams i have unsupportive parents they dont want me to be a dancer they want me to become something that im not and its just not my thing so thank u so much .
Thanks a lot Mel, your good wishes and care are very conforting. Unfortunatelly not every parent deserves to be, so people Who are reading this and have loving and caring parents please LOVE them back a lot and appreciate them for being like that. Don't take them for granted.
Stay safe and stay blessed always those who reading this. Amen
So close to my heart. This video has changed my perspective. Thank you Mel Robbins. Grateful for getting this video...
If anyone else need friends or family support, remember "I am here for you"
Thank you so much, Mel , for sharing this motivational video with us. Gob bless you.
Thank you Mel! I really needed to hear this message.
This made me cry! Health and all the best to your parents and your family!!!
The first half of this video triggered me so hard! Like i was like is this lady trolling?? She is bragging and rubbing it in my face that nobody loves me???? Then she made a little more sense with the title lol but damn some people might not even make it to the rest of the video LOL
Thank you for the video. I have been in a bad moment with my mom but, hopefully, I will get out of this and show her that I was right to believe in myself. Thank you for the words saying that you're here with me and many others...
Thank you so much! I receive this message. 🖤
Thank you so much Mel beyond description😍🤩... For always being there & spreading such a great hope for millions of people who in need of that support... God bless you forever 🙏❤️
Without giving any details so I don't go back in that loop Mel thank you. I so need it and have to be the parent. It feels like I have the burden of the whole world because of my parents are against me and so is my family.
Hearing this filled me with calm, thank you so much for giving me what I have been searching for from people who have shown they cannot give it to me x
You have really been there for me when I needed you and I appreciate your clear practical posts on issues we all struggle with. My parents didn’t know they weren’t supporting me. They were working a lot and I spent most of my only child life between grandparents or a tv. I reacted badly and rebelled for attention. Later I entertained for attention eventually my codependency morphed into alcoholism and compulsive addiction. Finally when I gave up doing life on my own I used therapy and aa to connect for help. Learning to love me and be there for me has been a lifetime job. After 30 years of recovery and 3 failed alcoholic marriages I am finally putting the bat down and allowing myself to see life thru grateful eyes. I still need help not to hide from myself and to celebrate me so keep posting please.
You've come a long way baby 💃 Brave enough to stay in this journey 👏🦋
My mom won’t let me follow my dream major cuz it doesn’t make enough money. I got so mad one time i told her i wish she’s dead. No matter what, she won’t let me. I want to find a boyfriend to help me escape.
Thank you for inspiring and motivating me I also had some problems with my family and in the internet but you're here for us thank you Mel
Omg thank you so much for this video. I really needed to hear that today. Hugs
Hello dr tuda helpe dme restore back my broken relationship and I believe he can also help you just as he did mine too
Whtzapp him
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Thank you Mel, I need this. Thank you for making me feel loved and cared
You are blessed you are loved ....Thank God for life breath and being. I did not ask to be born but here I am I'm here for purpose so God help me b who you want me to be
mine always compare me with other people and total fake support for the public
Thank you Mel! I love and believe in you too! 💕💕🌹🌹😘😘
Watching this video, I realized I've never done anything I have wanted to do. It's always just been my dad, molding me into some kind of perfect angel that wasn't anything like me.
I'm 16 (a Junior) and my dad does anything but support me. He's narcissistic, toxic, and manipulative. He's controlled too much of my life, and I do not care anymore. I am going to do what I want, and I'm not letting him dictate my future anymore. I recently told my parents that I am going to become a firefighter and start that process as soon as I finish high school. My mom is supportive but a little worried, but my dad doesn't want that for me at all. He says it's too dangerous and he doesn't want me to be in any line of duty in my life, but lol. I am not listening to him. Firefighting has always been in the back of my mind since I was nine and watched my first 9/11 documentary in school. I've already planned out step-by-step and when I get my driver's license this summer I'm going to start volunteering at my local department, just to make sure this is what I really want. In the end though, I'm very positive that this is what I want to do in my life. I've had firefighters in my family and I haven't necessarily been surrounded by it my whole life, but I want to save people and be brave for once. I feel a calling for it and if my parents don't ever support me, that will be THEIR problem, not mine. It is my life and when I turn 18, I will follow my dreams, no matter what they say.
My parents told me, "Shame on you" 3x in the same conversation (same sentence) as discouraging my ultimate plans and dreams. (Among hundreds of others) I've been cheering myself double time since then, and I will conquer! :)
thank you for this video, thank you for all that you go on doing. I really appreciate everything and I hope to meet you in person in ITALY or USA. God bless you! Roberta from ITALY, Language Tutor and Writer x
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My mom has words but her actions don't support me. She does what she thinks she is supposed to do for show and that's it. Meaning the bare minimum
this video saved my life. thank you for what you do. and I hope to be half the woman you are and to inspire, love, and help so many struggling children/adults one day.
Thanks Mel...for your kind words...wish you were my big sis! I feel very alone..just thinking about how more mentally stable I would be if I had support from my parents...but I dont...I get that we need to be our own parents...but sometimes you just need to be the kid and have someone tell you..it will all be ok...
Thanks Mel, truly grateful for you.
I seek so desperately my mom’s support but I never get it and it hurts so bad. I get it from everyone else but her the person I crave it from. When I share with her or my sister good things that happen or what I’m working towards or my dreams my mom indirectly tells me how others have fail basically telling me I shouldn’t try! I have even confronted her about this telling her how much it hurts me and asked her why she does this. Her face was priceless a long silence fallowed and she came up with I say that to motive you! I told her it didn’t and it hurts me deeply and she just continues on with her so called hurtful motivation. I feel like this with my sister too she’s not as bad but close she completely dismisses me or brings up all the negative points. It has never stoped me and I do reach my dreams but with zero support from them and obviously no recognition once I do it!!! I am a huge dreamer but I act on them so it’s not like it’s just dreaming and I don’t at the very least try to go for it! It hurts, it sucks but I trek on. On top of this they are the first ones I want to share things with! I know it won’t change but I always hope it will. This time it’s huge and it requires me to move away . I even considered not doing it because I love them so much but after our last few interactions that feeling of guilt of leaving just vanished in thin air. It’s actually making it easier but it still sucks
You where close to the camera .. saw your beautiful details while telling me these beautiful touching simple words♥️ thank u,, on this state i just need beautiful speech, your speech
I can see how much you try to be real to let us really feel ♥️✨
🦋💝 Thank you Mel ! It's hard to believe we deserve to be loved when not supported. But everyone has their own past and trauma. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgivness, but because you deserve peace" - Jonathan Lockwood Huie. Love yourself
Tears
Same. T-T
Same...
T-T
Our Heavenly Father is the perfect parent, I couldn't recommend Him enough!
Amen to that Sister
❤🙏
I can't say the sane. But, that's okay.
I can honestly say I am sooo #grateful to God above that you had parents that #empowered & encouraged you. I'm afraid to think
had that #not been the case...we would never have had the chance & the honor to know you
#MelRobbins
❤❌
Its great to have supportive parents 🙂 I've been lucky enough to have parents who always stand by my side whenever storm hits me!! They always give me hope and I end up not giving up easily 😇