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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.พ. 2025
- A trauma bond rooted in sexual dynamics can be confusing and damaging, often masking itself as deep connection or love. We'll break down the emotional, psychological, and physical cues to help you identify when intimacy and sex have become tools for manipulation or control. Understanding these signs is key to breaking free from unhealthy patterns and recognizing the difference between true love and a bond fueled by trauma.
Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Script Editor: Isadora Ho & Kelly Soong
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Claire Audrey
TH-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
REFERENCES:
McMahon, M. (2023 Nov). Beyond Love-Bombing - Sex-Bombing (Part 2) Emotional and Psychological Consequences. Narcissistic Abuse Healing. / beyond-love-bombing-se...
Nguyen, J. (2023 Aug 8). What Is Trauma Bonding? 5 Signs & How To End The Abusive Relationship Dynamic. mbg relationships. www.mindbodygr...
Perez, H. (2023 May 18). Trauma bond vs love (8 Key differences). Psych Mechanics. www.psychmecha...
Villines, Z. (2022 Dec 23). Sexual coercion: Definition, examples, and recovery. Medical News Today. www.medicalnew...
This channels has become very sex focused of late but honestly it's a appreciated and much needed info of it's psychological impact. Sex ed is often just "don't" or "use condoms" if you're lucky.
yup. There was a lot to learn about it.
Thank you for your support! We have noticed more viewers appreciating the topics.
They need more views
Without degenerate and overly sexual society has become, I would almost posit that sex education is more important now than ended. Been very interesting to hear about this stuff tbh
I think it's because we are approaching valentines day
Recognition: I know a red flag when I see one
Rationalization: Unfortunately, red is my favorite color
"My moma warned me about women like you ... and i hoped she was right" .- Johnny Bravo
@@justdracir8197 lmaoo 😂
The worst thing about being ♉ Taurus 🐂 this we see a red flag 🚩you'll just charged straight at it
Story of my sister's life, unfortunately. 😞
Lust is NOT love!! Thanks for speaking up about this topic.
Thanks for watching. Are there other topics you would like to see?
@@Psych2goCould you please talk about sexual coercion as well as consent? I find the definition of consent by Joyce Short the best 🙏
@@Psych2go Shut up you evil rat
@@Psych2goI agree with Katja about sexual consent and coercion. Thank you for your work!
Even the best feelings can turn into trauma with the wrong person.
@@MUSTAFA7ALMUKHTAR correction: even the best feelings can turn into trauma with the wrong connection
The 7 Signs -
1. Things Move Too Fast, Too Soon - The relationship escalates quickly, often with love bombing and rapid intimacy, creating an intense but unstable connection.
2. They Demean Your Sexual Performance - Instead of constructive communication, they criticize and insult your abilities to lower your self-esteem and maintain control.
3. You Have a Decreased Sex Drive - Anxiety and fear of judgment replace excitement, making intimacy stressful instead of enjoyable.
4. Your Self-Worth Depends on Their Approval - Your confidence fluctuates based on their validation, creating an addiction to their unpredictable affection (intermittent reinforcement).
5. They Use Sex as a Reward and Punishment - Sex becomes a tool for manipulation, given when you please them and withheld when they want to punish you.
6. You Use Sex to Solve Problems - Sex is used to avoid addressing real relationship issues, creating a false sense of intimacy instead of healthy communication.
7. You Ignore Their Red Flags - Despite recognizing toxic patterns, you rationalize their behavior, hold onto false hope, and struggle to break free from the bond.
I didn't think I'd stay this long, but now I don't want to leave
@@CasperExtension you are strong enough to do what is best for you.
Welcome to the psychological quicksand-once you're in, there's no escape. 😂🌀
The sad thing is that despite everything being so fucked up and her literally traumatizing me that i need constant therapy now.. i still miss that sex. So much that i don't feel like living is worth it without..
It’s a form co-dependency. You need the sex to fill that emotional void and get that dopamine boost from sex. What you need now isn’t the sex but healing from trauma
I hope you get the good ending
@@earlgrey2130 im sorry you go through that. Remember that what you want is the validating good feelings, and that is compleatly normal. We are very good at seperating the good and bad sides of our friends, families and partners. Craving the good side is normal. But its also a form of addiction. You can overcome it. You can find other focuses. And you dont have to force yourself to deny the attraktion you still feel. Just remind yourself that what you feel attracted to is only one part of her. And that its little more then a fantasy. You can still find her body attraktive without liking her as a person. You can still find plesure in people that look like her without betraying yourself. Just remind yourself always that you deserve better then the way she treated you. Also, try to find things compleatly diffrent from her that might give you pleasure, like toys or kinks compleatly opisit to her. Shifting the focus and finding yourself as a sexual beeing seperate from her is important. Remember to treat yourself with compassion, empathy and love. Not shame.
Sexual trama/abuse makes people grow up thinking it's an adult way of "having fun" resulting in misunderstandings about how the other person feels...
When you can be happy knowing someone you loved is happy without caring who they're new partner is/where they are, THAT is love💞
Other people think and act differently, you don't have to be involved with them, however your view of right/wrong isn't theirs nor your values.
this made me realize how toxic some of my past relationships have been but it’s been along time and i found myself with someone really special and this video definitely helped me put things into perspective thank u
Definitely had a trauma bond and he lied about having an STD as well. I was blessed it was curable. He blamed me when he was the one ruing our 21 questions game to ask sexual question. Known him for 10 years for him to temporarily destroy my life.
I'm so glad that this channel covers this topic a lot now. Sex Ed is really limited so having easy access like this is really helpful and informative.
20 years old never had sex, never been in a relationship in my life because I'm still healing from other bottled up things inside me and I don't want to rush anything including Intercourse too because I'm still focused on my goals and other desires and dreams
@@sandiletwala3001 👏 congrats,
Same
Proud of you
Same thing here
I'll be 21 soon, never had sex either, I don't think I can ever even get penetrated because I'm Afab and so scared of getting hurt blep :p
Had this happen once. Never experienced any such trauma myself, but in my early 20s was starved for affection and simple female attention. Got involved with a woman a bit older who fits these descriptions. I wanted to hold off on getting very intimate, but she pressed for more, to which I eventually gave in. Very intense, for about a month. But too much happened too fast.
Cant stop watching your videos it calms me down with your voice
why is this so relatable…🙃why everything mentioned is so relatable 🫠🙃
Could we get a video of dating trauma bond victims?
Why? You wanna learn how to use/seduce them?
@@coldshatterhand no it's for how we can't trigger them or hurt them
Or so I think
@@coldshatterhand no, my ex royally fucked me up emotionally
@@rachanachaudari3223 honestly I'm never going it again
I wish this clip would have been available to me over thirty years ago, when I was in such a relationship. Everything was as described in the video and I always blamed myself and found so many excuses for his behaviour. As a result it increased the violence against me. In the end on of his comments or "new ideas" was that I don't need to be awake during sex. In that moment even I finally saw and acknowledged the red flag. But I was almost too late as after I determined the relationship a couple of hours later, he tried to kill me.
As I was never given an help to process the experience, I sat down and wrote everything down and published it years later, only to find out now thanks to a lot of your great and helpful videos that everything I have experienced and went through is not my fault but calculated manipulation one part of the person I gave my heart to.
Even though I have been able to work through it, healed myself and was able to find self-love, I need these videos as a confirmation that I never stood a chance against his game and agenda.
You are doing fantastic and valuable work. You educate sufferers in a none blaming way and this is priceless. ❤❤❤❤❤
I wish I knew about this in 8th grade when I was trapped in a relationship. He started making sexual comments day two, then tell me how he doesn't actually like me but would get intimate right after, he kept saying how I need him and stuff, then he would always love bomb me, get intimate, then compare me to his ex, I didn't know how to leave, it took until he disrespected my mom for me to leave... and it was hard to. When telling my sister she told me how it's was wrong what he did, how he didn't listen to my no's and stuff, and I just covered it up with that's he was of showing love, well it isn't, or blamed myself but I never had a good display of love, my mom at that time boyfriend was a abusive alcoholic and my dads wife and him are always yelling and accusing each other of things.. so that was my escape and I didn't know how it was bad too. I hope more people learn about this and don't get stuck in this situation.. I know it's hard but it's better to not be in it.. I promise! Now my life is decent but I struggle with talking to males and don't think I'll be able to show affection other than hugs for a while. But what happened, can't be changed.
Also if anyone sees this please don't judge I know I was young, but I didn't have a choice or at least he made it feel like that
This is video I needed this Season, Love Bombing 💣 & S3XUAL Trauma Bond is Slyly Dangerous 4Real ⚠️ ... Thank you so much for your Video here.
I feel like this happened to me when I was around 7 or 8 year-old, and I won't like that to happened ever again..
Edit: I've hated to being touch somewhere where is not good, and I had two siblings, I AIN'T gonna let that happen to them like I experienced.
I’m really really sorry that happened to you Bella. I can’t stress this enough but IT WASN’T YOUR FAULT AND NEVER WILL BE. I’m so proud of you for choosing to be strong and resilient, I can only imagine how hard it must have been on you to handle something like SA. I’m so proud of you for keeping your head up high with confidence and determination, and importantly so, wanting to keep your younger siblings away from harm. Again, I’m truly sorry adults around you failed you, just know it wasn’t your fault and it’s always the responsibility of the grown up to protect younger people from any harm not be the perpetrators. I hope you get the justice you deserve Bella, may that person/persons rot in hell for what I care. We are grateful that you shared that story with us. Thank you so much and I’m proud of you.
5:18 I've been separated from my abuser for a couple months now... I still think about all the good qualities they had. I know I'm capable of so much love, I just wish I didn't spend my time looking for them in people who are arguably a lost cause (this sounds mean to say but my ex admits to not seeing a need to change)
A year and a half later and I'm still trying to shake it. I think I'm stuck with it for the rest of my life, it's just a matter of learning to live alongside the pain
I just love your voice madam🤗🤗so calming ♥️
You should do a video on how to reverse the damage and get out of a trauma bond
Most relationships are built primarily on sex under the guise of love. The distinction usually comes with emotional maturity and as far as my experience and the experience of others I've observed growing up, emotional maturity comes with disappointments and hurts. Also, maturity doesn't always come as a positive. Sometimes the maturity comes as being able to hurt them before they hurt you.
When I look at this, I have either subconsciously done it due to damaging past relationships that blinded me, or vice versa. Crazy how fast I analyzed that. In the midst of it, it may or may not be the case that I do it. But I have definitely experienced it. I am working on improvement, so if it is the case, then I'm glad I found this video so I would not get confused.
I put this comment on another video by them but, I honestly wish I had the support I give out now at the time when I was around 18 thinking about all this. If any of you want to wait before you have sex especially if you've been abused. I want to share that i had an abusive childhood amongst other situations and things but especially when it came to sexual trauma, so knowing about boundaries and my own inner turmoil, I wanted to wait aswell but at the same time I felt like it wouldn't matter anymore since so much of my sexual experience wasn't of my own choice already when growing up. Which is not true. But I had never had a loving sexual experience of my own where i actually felt fully safe in person and fully conscious and of age. And that made me feel so low. It felt like I wouldn't get to have that experience in the future or in my life in general, like it was taken from me or wasn't possible, which is also not true. But because I felt like that, it unfortunately made me feel less of myself in what I could choose for my own body, but i know now that i had that choice to make it better then, and i will always have even if i couldn't think straight. It's just a fact that it's actually up to me regardless of what people have done. What people choose to do to me or others have nothing to do with my self-worth. What matters to me is what matters to me. Especially when it comes to wanting sexual safety and a loving partner who respects my needs. So yes, stay true to yourself ❤️❤️it's worth it. What matters to you, matters to you and keep it true.
Around the time I was 18, I was taken advantage of when I was drunk as well by someone who didn't respect me at all, including my body. i was literally used for the fantasy of someone else while they used me, so that was it. At the same time, I knew how to deal with it to an extent. It's just i really came to terms with how some people can be and how i know that it really is worth the wait regardless despite the anxiety. And that i still have that choice regardless of what people have done to me and that you don't have to think that bad experiences are all that there is because of your past. You can recover from trauma, and you're not less of yourself. And a good life is possible. I wanted to share because I feel being honest about my story will help more people.❤❤️🙏
I crave affection in the kissing/snuggling/hand-holding sense, and seek a beautiful emotional and intellectual connection; but I'm also a people pleaser and overstep my own boundaries to receive what resembles the desired connection. Just an ounce of feeling seen, heard, wanted and understood. It upsets me beyond words, that I fall so easily to love-bombing, sexual coercion and guilt tripping. I struggle to use the term "traumatic" for most of my partners because these dudes are each a good human by themselves, yet I feel dirty and damaged when intimately involved with any of them. It doesn't compute. Even the memories are foggy, so I can't confidently recount what was so uncomfortable about the experiences. But regardless, we're on a path of healing now, right? 😄 Learn and grow from the mistakes.
0:00 no I'm not thank you.
😂😂😂😂
Same😂. But let's study what others experience.
*Focus on yourself first before focusing on others.* Before doubting yourself in such way, you must build the qualities that make you, *you* , along with building friendships. That’s when you will notice how far you’ve come, *and so will they…*
This video help me a lot thank you
The late stage of whirlwind is that the instigator of it is bored and disengaged. Earlier on they still had some interest in causing / instigating negative emotion - I find this interesting pillar on neuroticism trait, because the toxic mate will essentially be addicted to the negative emotions - what’s referred to as supply in the discussion of narcissistic personality behaviors. The whirl wind romance is actually just a giant misunderstanding which is repeated since the poor sufferer is hooked on the negative emotion of their attachment persons and they have never ending access to additional people because of internet / present day digital communication
Don't ignore this, try this!
This is so nice to know, thank you.
There also can be awesome sex but still a toxic relationship. So you find yourself caught in a trauma bond BECAUSE the sex is so good but the rest is terrible
Whoa, I MASSIVELY misunderstood what trauma bonding was. I thought it was two people experiencing a codependent bond over shared traumas. Jesus, I have a lot of reviewing to do!
By watching this video. I finally see how abusive and horrible my last relationship was. She was the one wanting to do things very quickly (first time we met home we were meant to at maximum just kissing… well I let you guess how far it went) but I stayed for multiple reasons (trauma bond and affective dependency)
🙏✝WE ARE NOT ALONE, GOD IS WITH US ☀💪
I was so confused that is the relationship toxic?. Or I'm the one who is toxic. Thank you for the video
I have definately been in and observed trauma bond sex based relationships. I still have hope to find true love, because i have observed a couple of those relationships
Thank you for this I understand a few things now
I been through this before. And the tex. It doesn't solve anything. Yet I still got accused for my loyalty. I sure do hope none of you go through a person who constantly accuses you. It's really draining
Please help me I have been in a relation ship almost exactly like this for 9 months but I cannot leave it most people say just make the choice but I literally cannot leave her no matter how badly she hurts me like I am actually physically and mentally incapable of leaving her like I get mad over something and she says I'm treating her like garbage so I say sorry and start being nice then she says speak to me like I'm a human or she'll tell me that if u leave her she will just Go to other people I do not know what to do I need help
@@lilonnit If she says she'll go to others, this shows ME that she had no serious interest in your relationship from the beginning. I had a friend like that and leaving them was the best thing I've ever done for myself. You might blame yourself at first, but that's normal and it will fade away with time. Also, you said that you get mad at things: I would say it depends on your reaction. If you have anger issues or u get mad for the most lame things, you gotta fix that for yourself first, because you might ruin everyone's mood. If you're not happy, just leave. If you think you're making someone unhappy bc of your behaviour, leave. I won't say that's what's best for you. This is just what I would do. But make sure to talk about this with her first. Let her know what makes you sad and what might affect her.
Just end the relationship now so you can spend the rest of your life being someone and be with someone who feels safe, secure and peaceful or even happy in a relationship. Otherwise instead you’ll feel stressed and constantly worried about the other person leaving you.
Think of it like a cold turky drug intervention. You could get into a psychriatric clinic and instruct the staff to refuse you any contact with her, including texting. If you cant take a clinic try moving away as far as possible. If thats not an option ask friends or family to take you in and block to contact. One way or another, you have to understand her like a drug dealer. Shes giving you something that feels good but kills you. Shes feeding you a sweet poison. And getting of that drug will hurt like hell for some time, but it WILL be better after some time. Your life will significantly improve a month or so after leaving her. She probably also cries, pleads with you, or shames you whenever you try to leave. And you probably feel yourself tear appart for just thinking of leaving. I know, because i was in your shoas. I stayed too long, lost my edjucation and almost lost my independence, and lost all my savings because of her. And almost ended up seriously hurting her in self defense.That was my wake up call that allmost came to late. I could have seriously hurt her, gotten hurt or ended up in prison. Do not wait for it to escalate.
Pick a time where she isnt home to quickly pack all your bags and move away, into a hotel or friends place, without giving her any way to find or contact you. Leave a note that just says 'we only hurt each other. Its over. Dont contact me'. Change your number or block her. You dont owe reconciliation or explanations. Ask people for help. Go now, or it WILL end in blood. Even if you dont think so. Even if it was never violent bevor. This can easily lead to self harm, finacial ruen, ect. Imagine she got pregnant, you dont want a kid in that environment. You dont want to live like this. She shouldnt live like this. You arent helping her by enabeling her. She needs help, but you cant be that help. dont even think about it anymore, you already made your choice. Its your brain chemistry keeping you prisionor in something you already checked out of. Leave. Now.
I need Psych2Go to stop reading my mind. Your vids always hit when I need them 😅
Thank you!!
Good video. Thanks.
Imo I'm more curious about that "abruptly being cold and distant" out of the blue. can someone elaborate?
well it's pretty to the point. A person that love bombs you but a day after or on the same day get's cold and distant outta nowhere.
I almost wish I could have someone send this to my daughter 💔 It's much too sensitive coming from me. Believe me, I have tried 🙄 The most "positive" thing that she said was, "Fine! I will go to stinking therapy, so everyone will SHUT UP!"
Hey can you make a video about how to decline someone’s love without being rude
Hey, Psych2Go made a video about my last relationship! I wonder how they knew about it 🤔
omg never been more on time
What happened to the intro with a tree and good relaxing music with pencil writing noise?
I always bring the topic of sex in far too quickly because I have the feeling that the men otherwise lose their interest in me if I don't😞
@@fraulein.S. that true some cases as men myself I respect women and man as human beings and my parents teach me
Early bird treatment Psych2Go 👍
Life is so much more free once you stop caring about copulation.
I have a strong trauma bond😢
can you please make a video on how mother's death at early age like 10 12 affect persons maturity and how they can cope up and be better at emotional maturity and intelligence , and for see relationships its urgent please I would be very grateful my friend is facing problem and that's a topic I think is not discussed on this channel I have seen all topics covered earlier please guy like it I need help to get noticed plssssssss
That's nice to know.
What can you do to heal from this kind of trauma bond? 🤔
Please could you do a video on cyclothymia (its similar to bipolar)
Thanks
crazy timing fr
Can you guys make a video about, communication styles.
YOO ALL THESE COMMENTS WERE SECONDS AGO
When will I get hearted by Psych2Go 😞
I love this, Psych2go has done a good job to ask questions and with the help of friendly visuals help people explore the connections they have with themselves and others. I do have to address a moment 3 minutes and 53 seconds that is framed in an incredibly dangerous way. If at any point your partner makes you feel like sex is being bargained then yes you should feel like sex addition is something to be concerned about and that sex might be a weapon used against you. THIS video however implies that going from lots of sex to no sex is inherently a bad thing the other person is doing to you. Lets please remember that sex is literally under the opposite of an obligation. NOBODY EVER OWES YOU SEX! This includes someone who used to provide you lots of sex. If at any point in time sex isn't something someone wants then there are not only a billion reasons to stop sex, but literally pressuring them to change their mind due to some sense of obligation is a sex crime and you should feel deep deeeeeeeeeeeep shame over any actions where your "desires" to have sex has gone as an unfulfilled "need" someone else is responsible for. Getting you off will never...... EVER... be the responsibility of another human being. It however, should you desire, should become a privilege both of you share enthusiastically with each other on a moment by moment basis amongst consenting.
@Psych2Go Please respond if you support the notion that sex isn't the responsibility of others but when healthy, safe, sane, and secure is a wonderful activity people share in on a moment by moment basis and on a person by person basis. Thank you for your support. Not looking for feedback on this comment its more of a PSA to all to remember that your own body and your own wants should never be the obligation of another. If you disagree, please for the love of all that is good and wonderful SEEK A THERAPIST!
Can you talk about being twice exceptional?
I'm about to turn into a thirty year old virgin, With this knowledge I'll make sure to not be desperate.
I want help I need to know how to actually treat someone that I love and give what they deserve. Love
EARLY GANGGGGGGGGGGGG
Why do most of the points mentioned here remind me of Fifty Shades of Grey? 🤧🤧
I have had similar things before, but none of them were sex here's my story: basically, I used to date this guy, and when we've only been dating for a month and we went to the bus stop together and he hugs me while I tried to pull away and he kissed me on the cheek and a student older then us saw it the next thing I know me and that boy I used to date were the talk of my school the next day we broke up but a month or two later we started dating again and it went on for about 4 or 5 months and it felt like recharged but then he broke up with me again and again started dating after my friend broke girl code and not to date their friends ex but she was kind of fake anyways and I broke up with him the next day we started dating and dated my guy bff for a month until he broke up with me I acted fine but i was devastated
how is it that people can be naturally manipulative
not even in a relationship, or ever was. idk why im watching
psych2go can i please have someone to talk to ?
I married someone like this. Sex was amazing but I didn't love him n couldn't seem to get to that point but I was pregnant and didn't want to return home to my abusive mom. Live n u learn.
I don't be having sex I'm innocent. 😇
I was sure I was going to be the abusive one but according to this, my gf is just as bad 😂
#soulmates
*cough, Babygirl, cough*
If you smash random words with the word trauma, than you too can make a video.
For instance. you're not fat, you have a food based trauma.
Bro I only have a crush...
I must admit me and my partner got close too fast but it was because we spent A LOT of time together, we've had so much quality time within a month or 2 and we always have a good time doing things we like, we spend all our time by the presence of each other and talk almost everyday, sleep together in call even when not physically together, I think we have a very passionate relationship, even with some misunderstandings here and there we always manage to fix things
Again? I'm telling this to amara and eliza
Just rmemeber if you don't get put it will get worse. Take it from someone who almost lost their life to it
Psy is so cute, like gingerbread💜
Well i still got my V card 😂 but good to know 😂
Keep it for as long as you can. The dating pool is a cesspool.
@abcefg4504 i don't i might try to dive in cause on some days it looks nice
hey, could you make another detailed video related to a more severe case of DID (multiple personality disorder)?
Hello 👋😊
Well shit, my fiancée had all signs
What is trauma bonding by the way?
hellooooo
Second!!!!!!!
This channel really fell off
1st
Thank you❤️🩹
" Thank You all at Psych2Go. This video is information needed in all ages and areas of human existence. The increasing number of 'Abusers and Trickle Down Abusers' will increase with a growing population. Make 'PERSONAL CHOICES'. not crowd choices."