In this video I explained =how what I experienced at home affected me and even affected my sisters. =how I thought it was the norm in Igbo land. The key word is "thought" =how it affected my decision =I talked about how most Nigerian cultures do not favour women = and most impotently, I said that we as parents should be careful what we allow our children to experience because it can leave negative impressions in their hearts forever But what some people hear is =Igbo culture is bad =other cultures are better than Igbo culture. But I never said or implied that. All I shared is my personal experience at home. My home is not the entirety of Igbo land. I never generalised. I simply talked about what happened at my home. Isn't it unfortunate that instead of people concentrating on the message in this video, they choose to start a fight that does not exist. Tell me a single thing I said in this video that should be offensive. Quote a sentence I made that is wrong. My experience; my life
Summer Aku Vlogs my dear I think your vidoes are only for martured and open minded people .even Though u try as much to break it down and be logical some people will still misinterpret you...not every student will pass exams no matter how easy...
Kyrian Uwandu You are the stupid one here. The video said "girl that didn't want to" know the meaning of didn't? It's paste tense but your stupid brain only wants to come and throw insults. Didn't and does not are two different things. And you're an animal for insulting my mother who you have never met. One of her crimes was allowing my brother to kill our hen that was hit by a car and was dying already. My father was not In town so she told my brother, the fist so to kill it before it dies completely. When my father returned and heard about it, he said it was an abomination for his son to kill a hen while he is still alive and my mother had to kill a goat to apologise. So you're very stupid for insulting my mother. IDIOT!!!
Kyrian Uwandu there is something seriously wrong with you. It's because of people like you who likes sweeping all our problems under a carpet until it chock us. I'm from another west African country every thing this young lady being saying happen to one of my sisters in the end her husband killed her left two children of five years and one year. It's my 69 year old mother looking after the kids with our help. This young lady is not saying all men are bad but the truth is a lots of women are in bad marriage which affect their children
Sorry for all you went through. I was lucky to have a different experience. My father was an epitome of loyalty and Love. He bought a car for my mum whilst he walked to work every day. My husband is a great husband and father. Spoils me to bits. My father and my husband are both Igbos.
Nne you and I grew up in the same home. I felt you were describing my father. It didn’t stop me from wanting to marry an Igbo man though because I knew other Igbo fathers that weren’t like my father. I knew my father was simply a wicked man.
I'm a proud Igbo man. Nne you have made your point. I know where you're coming from and I want you to know that you are brave. Lesson well taught. Got ya!
@Tired Siren I never heard that women were buried with their husbands. Do you know that in England, women and children did not owe property until very recently. This is the genesis of the law of Trust in English law. Check this "1918 Women over 30 are granted the right to vote in Britain. 1920 The Sex Discrimination Removal Act allows women access to the legal profession and accountancy. 1921 Unemployment benefits are extended to include allowances for wives. 1923 The Matrimonial Causes Act makes grounds for divorce the same for women and men." But in traditional Igbo societies women had rights to vote in Ohaneze. Umu ada (daughters of the land) and umu ndom (wives of the land) had rights. Women in Igbo traditon have property rights. However she did have the right to sell. A widow will retain her husband's property till her sons grow or till she dies. She cannot sell neither can another person sell it as far as she is alive. Same with the daughter if she is the only child. If she had a son out of wedlock, the boy will inherit all of his grand father's property. My dear, our traditional culture was not bad.
@Tired Siren pls In nigeria Igbo women Have More right than some tribe And they killing of twins Was not mainly igbo Tribe It was the people of calabar and ibibio tribe
Im Latin and Caribbean ever since my college days Igbo man always pursued me. They said I could pass for Igbo lol. There were some yurubas that came after me but I couldn’t relate to them. Finally I ended getting married to Igbo man , he’s awesome, funny and loving.
Green Greener well he’s quite proud of his heritage, he’s not diluting himself we just happen to fall in love and got married. I’m a mix off everything I have African ancestry in me, Native American and less then 10% European. In my case your theory does not apply.
I can not express how relieved that someone is talking about something that I have lived with. Summer I absolutely feel and agree with you on this. I was scared of marriage and had to ask God to teach me what marriage was all about and to remove the fear of marriage from me and God in his mercies removed the fear and showed me that marriage was a beautiful thing and not what I grew up seeing. My aunt married an Igbo monster but I am dating an amazing Igbo man and I thank God for giving him to me as a gift and a sign to show that there are amazing men out there. Women if we want our men to change, we should train out sons the way we want our husbands to love and treat us. Let our daughter in-laws who get married to our sons come and say thank you to us for training our sons to be amazing men. Thank you Summer. Daalu
Uzodi You've made so many comments but nothing tangible. If you hate what I do so much, Why not leave? Wouldn't it be easier to do that? All I did was share my personal life experience. You don't have to like it... but that does not change the fact that it's my experience.
Uzodi She never made any sweeping statements. She categorically stated that she was making her point based off of her personal experience and the perculiar dynamics of the home that she grew up in
Abigail Alexander most Igbo men are good it depends on individual or the family background where someone comes from, this is just her story but not the stories of Millions of Igbo children. People always spew trash on social media i think this should be private.
Abigail Alexander I'm also Caribbean in the U.S.A. dating a Nigerian Igbo man. Him and his family are a dream come true. They call and check-up on me all the time. They love me more than him, Especially his uncle who's a preist he calls me princess👑Diana.....LOL😀😁😂.
Anita Done kindly desist from making general and sweeping statements such as the ones you have made about all the different cultures and how they conduct their marriages. I hsppen to know men across all the cultures you mentioned as well as other cultures not mentioned, who are all different shades of loyal and faithful and monogamous! I know Yoruba men who don't even have the desire for any other woman apart from the one they married, and i equally have philandering igbo friends! I remember telling an Igbo pal of mine how beautiful his wife is, yet he's out here scouting a less beautiful woman! I also know very monogamous Hausa men. Everyone can share their own personal experience, as Summer did, but that's all it is: your personal experience! Fact is that there are all shades and colours of human personality and you will find every kind represented in every tribe. If you have been married to a great Igbo man for 20yrs, good for you, and I'm happy for you! But there are people who are not. So no sweeping statements please.
I understand you perfectly summer, mine was what happened to my widowed mother scarred my mind towards marrying in igboland, but, I also understand that Yoruba or other Nigerian tribes are not better either, more like jumping from frying pan into fire proper!
Books and education saved my life. Books were my escape and introduction to strong women. I got admission to uni and that’s it, as soon as I graduated, served, got a job, I left the house and rented a place so the captain can have his ship to himself. His favourite phrase was always there can never be two captains in a ship.
😂😂😂that's my dad's escape clause too to justifying anything he does😂😂 Also he will always remind you that this is house and if you feel uncomfortable with his rules then you should leave 😂😂. I had a very mean father too but he was sometime very loving and caring. I miss him now everyday.
Yessoo sis, its his ship afterall. I cant tell you the freedom I got the day I moved out. It was a breath of fresh air. It was one of the best decision of my life. I didn't even care if i never get married like some people hinted.
You are so right my sister i refused to be treated like that thanks be to God for coming to America. I know better and no man will treat me like that even when we go home. Thanks my sister for this topic. Be bless and don't let anyone treat you like so.
Phoeeeeeeeeeey,Mr John. You know nothing about Summer. Sit your ass down and keep your macho views to yourself. Go watch some football or do some other 'manly' thing. I'm sure you'll find great wisdom there!
My sister, i am not fighting ohhh, but if you end up with any body not just igbo, who lacks home training, your children story won't be different from hers!
One of your best videos .keep going you are doing GREAT Summer. you are intelligent and never doubt yourself. You are going to change a lot of peoples lives young and old.
In my opinion, Summer, you are a very brave, intelligent, respectful and empathetic woman. I hope that your thoughtful commentary on this volatile issue will, at least, spark some mature dialogue amongst individuals and or groups. Who knows...someone's mind set may actually be changed...some very "traditional-thinking" husband may even recognize his wife as a partner, not some wayward child to be scolded and chastised . Thank you again for relaying, to us, your family's experiences and perspectives.
As for me I notices that any igbo man that like omenana too much they are very hard to please some of them you can never pleased them they will always find one fact or the other. Can u image I have a friend that married omenana man, the man they will always quarrel for some stupid stuff like the wife didn't prepare his food, she forget to bring washing hand water, drinking water when he is eat,or the wife ask him where he is going, the man will beat her. But when you marry a good igbo man he will treat you like a princess
Summer, you are very brave, expect more attack responses from your people. I am a Nigerian but not an Igbo, the situation described or narrated by you happened, and still happens in some of our societies till this day. Even some of us who live in the western societies at the moment still engage in this cruel and uncivilized practice.
Thanks for sharing your truth! I’m Yoruba & we ignorantly envied Igbo women bcos we only saw how Igbo men provided for their families & the men’s wealth was displayed on their wives & children, we didn’t see the domestic abuse my Igbo friends would talk about as the bad aspect. One said “an Igbo man would beat the living daylights out of his wife & then buy her the most expensive George wrapper to wear & put her on display for all to see....As for Yoruba guys, generally speaking, best boyfriends, worst husbands...But with maturity one sees that there is no good or bad culture , race or ethnicity, but good & bad people...
You are so right because most kids that are coming up now with parents that are fighting and arguing and that's all they see on a norm yes indeed they do feel like that's normal I've never seen my parents fight or argue my children never seen me and their father argue or fight my husband and I we do not fight or argue we talk and we've been together for 39 years we've been married 36 years and he has never been abusive physically or verbally to me and me either and just so happens this man was speaking to him about his wife how she calls him names and get upset and throw things around and he asked about me what does your wife do that he said no man he's at my wife don't cuz she said so whatever kids see and there around that all the time they're going to think that it's normal and I feel sorry for you so much, this was very educational! GOD BLESS YOU 🙏
That's new York sis,if you are in Nigeria you will understand better.....so you are a new Yorkers that's why you are talking like that, an Igbo men are very intelligent when it comes to business, but little of them are acedemician also ,and very hard workin
Please don't mind what that woman said ahe didn't tell us the evil side of her mother to her father I am an Igbo man and if her father is wicked should she use it to qualify all the Igbo men their are women and men everywhere allover the world why should permanently taking it to the Igbo men and don't mind that woman who told you when you come back home ask other Igbo married woman and hear from them and one thing I want you to know is that we Igbo men will not support anything evil because it will backfire to the man or his children thanks
Oh Summer, I love that you're speaking on this. So relatable. Also worried about marriage but I do not think it is everyone. I do not think it is a goal. It is perfectly fine to decide not to do it.
Thanks for sharing sis, I can relate in the sense of when I went to Nigeria in the early 90’s: Women seem to be at the mercy of their husbands - this put me off Nigerian marriage at 14yrs old.
Yes I agree and I said it in the video that Nigerian culture does it favour women. But I addressed what I went through as a kid as how I thought it was only an Igbo thing until I later realised when I grew up that it's Nigerian culture does it favour women. But as I kid, all I saw was what I saw at home
ant Nam, happy you didn't experience such. while I was in Nigeria my best friend was a Yoruba girl her name is Yemisi , there was aways a fight between her parents that most of the time with tears and fear she sleeps in our house with her mum beaten and driven out by her dad not in all homes but in all tribes, including yoruba.
I applaude you summer, you are speaking YOUR truth, and you are correct, when women are not valued in any culture, it is very bad, make no mistake about it, I am with you, you deserve to be heard, respected, and shown love, and if a culture does not adhere to it, then it is not something that you should be a part of, when we know better, we do better!
Summer I understand what you are saying, but I disagree with you about Igbo men,, because of the experience u had with your father does not mean that all Igbo men are desame,, we have alot of good Igbo men out there,, am sorry to say this, like what you've just said about your people, that u must get married to an Igbo man, and it must be from your side,, it's Anambra people that mostly say that to their children ,, especially traditional men,, and they mostly put fear in their children from getting married to their choice of man,, and at the end their daughters will not get married,, I know a family friend from Anambra state,, their father is a real traditional man,, and has 4 girls,, suitors do come asking der hand's in marriage, der father keep rejecting them,, unless it must be a man from their side,, an Anglican, and all those rubbish he said,, and this man is a no no man,, very strict,,, its 8 years now,, those girls are still leaving with their parents, unmarried,,, my dear summer am an Igbo lady,, my parents are Igbo too,, and am married to an Igbo man too, loving and caring,, and my parents never told us one day, that the man we must get married to, must be an Igbo man, or from my town, no no no,, they will only tell you to get married to a man of ur choice that you love and he will love you too, and both of u should leave happily..... All men are not desame,, it depends on the kind of family you come from... I love my Igbo people 👨👨👦,,,Ndi Igbo kwenu!
I think what she means is that, the home front shapes the childrens view of the outside world. I knew I could not marry an Igbo man based on MY experience. It was awful. Yours was great but the greater message is PARENTS SHAPE THE WORLD VIEW OF THEIR CHILDREN. The parents is the childs 1st example of the how the world works, lets try to improve our collective treatment of women and children.
Chyena 🙏🏼 Finally!!! Some one that gets my message. My main message is for parents to be careful what experiences they leave in their children's memories. The only man I talked about here is my father. I didn't say all Igbo men. We've all had different life experiences and these experiences shape us. I even said it at 15:03.. parents be careful
I got married to an Igbo man from Anambra the first son of the home. To God be the glory they are wonderful people. I said I am not going to marry an Esan man because of too much tradition and rules.
Adanne I followed what you just said. I believe they are all true. It's a pity the trauma you passed through growing up. It should only make you stronger and not break you. There are families that have it worse and yet they didn't give up. God is your strength. Life is full of challenges and we just have to keep fighting
My sister, I don't know whether you are Yoruba or Igbo.But what am trying to say is that am Igbo born and brought up in Igbo land.My parents are both Igbo's and they are so lovely to have us all.I think the problem is from your father. This is individual difference.. My father have not took my mother out to kindsmen .#if you open your doors,mosquito will eventually fly in. This is every where not only Igbo men.In my own Case you are allowed to marry any man of your choice. But they will question you first,........ If you thoroughly love the man so be it.
You hit the nail on the head. I am a full-Yoruba man. My decision to marry a non-Yoruba was borne out of my adventurous spirit. How many years am i going to spend on earth and then restrict myself to the same set of people/tribe? It was a no no for me. I grew up with the mindset and conviction of marrying a non-Yoruba (whether igbo or hausa, i didn't mind so far she is a christian). This made me to be open-minded to people of all tribes. I wanted to learn and know other people/tribe. Funny enough, i ended up with a Delta-Isoko lady. My closest friends are Igbos. I never generalize on a tribe, i see individuals differently. When my colleagues were "runsing" where NYSC will post them. I was not moved nor interested. I was just interested to go out of my comfort zone. Interestingly, i was posted to ABIA - God's own state and precisely UMUAHIA NORTH ( my second home after Ibadan). I made lot of friends and after 6yrs of passing out of NYSC, i have revisited like 3 different times. Let me just pause here before i write an epistle.
I think I understand you perfectly. Am an igbo girl too who got married to a man of similar mentality and cultural beliefs, it's been difficult for me and most women in Nigeria and Africa as a whole. I think this issue is African based but many people are beginning to awake to the fact that that is no marriage at all but bondage and slavery. That marriage should be based on love, understanding, tolerance, selflessness and forgiveness. Nevertheless there are still some good igbo, Nigerian and African guys out there, one just have to prayerfully find your God ordained spouse.
I must say you are very brave. A lot of people who grew up in this kind of set up will never speak up and they do go on to repeat what they saw. I will say you are brave my experience is very different because my dad was raised by only his mum who obviously lavished attention on him making my dad very loving. What you have said here explains why marriages are failing abroad because in most cases the men never own up.
Yes, Sister, the experiences we give our children is extremely important as children are impressionable and indeed. That poem (I think it is classified as a poem), "Children live what they see... " comes to mind. God also gave you a lot of wisdom, my Sister. Peace & Blessings in the name of Jesus.
Hi Summer, thanks for your honesty. Hopefully we as parents will not make same mistakes. But the said thing is behaviours like that are still amongst us Nigerians even in the Western world.
That’s true Summer, I’m from Igbo land too but it’s actually found in ungodly men who loves massaging their ego. Thank goodness my dad wasn’t like that. Thank God you have healed from that
This video brought tears to my eyes as it reminded me of my childhood, although my father wasn’t Igbo but he was the typical African man and my mother suffered and is still suffering till today. Culture has done a lot of damage to a lot of people especially women.
This girl's videos are so highly addictive. I am an Igbo girl that has lived abroad since the age of 4. I am 18 now and not speaking or understanding Igbo is my biggest shame/dissapointment in life. My experience was very different as my family on both sides are filled with men that have such an incomprehensible amount of respect, adoration and love for their women. We are Igbo as far as can be dated back in time and the amount of happy homes and lack of any broken marriages lead me to believe this was a very Igbo thing. In fact, this in combination with the amount of Yoruba men I know that have a complete disregard for women as equals has resulted in a fear of Yoruba men for me. Countless Yoruba men have tried to approach me not knowing that my mind was already made up against them. I am currently dating an Igbo man who respects me and loves me unconditionally. However, this video has really been an eye opener that I should not limit myself to just one tribe of people. Growing up, I witnessed several of the sexist elements you spoke of within the Igbo culture I was exposed to but chose to ignore them because of my parents never condoned such things. My mother is the most outspoken out of her sisters and has always been a feminist, which is quite rare in her generation. A lot of my Igbo friends have parents with marriages that are similar to your parents' marriage.
The truth is, that practice is not synonymous to only Igbos but to all tribes. On top of that, take a look at the divorce rate within Nigeria community in U.S and U.K. This has got nothing to do with tribes but individuals. The same way Nigeria men are killing their spouses in U.K and U.S. evil knows no tribe. The thing is, a lot of people have been have been brainwashed that other tribes are useless besides their tribe. Summer is just sharing her personal experience.
My dear marry whoever who love and cherish you dont ever fo tribe thing because not all igbo men are caring and loving the samething not all Yoruba men are irresponsible it depends on individuals there are Yoruba men that are responsible too I am an igbo and I was brought up not to hate anyone on our family we have both Yoruba son inlaw and daughter inlaw
I am truly sorry to hear your personal experience. It is very important not to get stuck in the past, a lot of Igbo families do not adopt most of the things pointed out in this video. Even with these bad experiences, I think it’s still important to value your culture and family.. because in some way that’s all they knew. It’s like growing up in Nigeria & being flogged in school, we still appreciate the discipline even though it’s not the best strategy. Anyways, thanks for sharing & I hope other men (regardless of culture) can learn to treat their significant other better.
Nne isiri ike nwanyi. I'm very proud of you. I completely relate to your story and ended up staying away from Nigerian men altogether. Im happy you found love and i hope you heal from the traumatic experiences you had. Thanks for sharing.
As an African American, well in title anyway, I have seen these cultural practices in our families too. Men cheat, beat and if they provide, then the woman especially does not have a say. We women work and provide for our children and in some respects, we have endured cultural similarities that seem to span tribes even if they are continents and oceans apart. I know my mother, grandmother, aunts and uncle wives have been physically and mentally abused and I have seen it passed on to my male and female cousins and their children. And my siblings and I as well. The worse cultural practices seem to stick in our memories and influence our behaviors especially when we don't have exposure to something different. I watch many of my African sisters explain and reveal to us in the west that even in our differences there are many, many similarities and I think I have watched you say it on more than one occasion, that it should be about being human not a man or a woman or allowing a cultural practice to dominate or supersede what is fair and decent. I thank the most high Yahuah, for social media which when used correctly, can expand our understanding globally of each other. We have to learn to love and respect each other more and consistently world wide in order to heal our cultures, tribes and relationships. Shalom!
Am a huge fan. You are what you are now because of what you saw, read, and was fed. And other factors. I like what you are now and this is why the Ibos love thier mum, more
Thank you for this video.You are so right.My dad was a very nice man and my mom is a strong woman.She taught us culture and also taught us not to tolerate any nonsense or abuse from anyone in live generally and also in marriage. I am bringing up my girls that way. No one is a slave and married should be a good and happy thing. Not a place of humiliation of either man or woman. If you are in a toxic place. Please seek for help.
Nwanne m I know how you feel because I grew up in toxic household with my parents constantly beating each other, using us little children as their soundboards to vent their frustrations, mistrust and just crazy horrors that children should not have to witness. I used to think I was the only one that went through this but now I'm hearing more stories. My dad blamed us children for not solving the marriage and the community said similar things. I felt so guilty, useless and drained for years. The experience put me off of marriage altogether, though I am married now. I saw that the same people who were judging us children for being problem-solvers were having mature marriages themselves so I knew it was just my father being spineless rather than Igbo men and these people enjoying the power to judge and control others.
Thanks summer Aku for the video but frankly igbo tradition is not as you thought. ..I am an igbo man from imo state...the fact remains that your father is a hard man who never had respect for the wife...the umunna judged their matter based on what your father told them..if your father really loved your mother. .he would have settled every dispute between him and your mother privately without letting you the children know let alone inviting those drunkards that called themselves umunna.they will come eat and drink and judge in the favour of your father as the head of the house. .pls my dear if you see a nice suitor irrespective of him tribe and you know that he will love you..adore and respect you..please marry him...marriage is all about love and happiness. ....sometimes I do have issues with my wife...we settle it inside our bedroom without anyone knowing about it. ..in conclusion. .you sleep on your mat the way you spread it..thanks
summer God bless you, i went through the very same thing if not worse my mum was not at home other wives were. i remember very well how my dad called family meetings upon meeting against his own children and they would judge against us our dad constantly blamed us for everything he did not do right. my childhood experience put me off marriage i can't go through the rigours of inlaws, obey all what husband says if not you aren't a good wife, so called family meetings i adore my freedom and independence, love my life , joy and peace..
Ife di na'ebe di na'ebo, it means as it is in one place so it is in another (Delta Ibo). There are many things wrong in our culture, the mindset is archaic. Your story is a universal problem though. As one who loves biblical truth and principles, I try to educate our people on the need to act through love and justice rather than through the burden of misplaced traditions. Do unto others as you will love them to do unto you. It's hard to persuade a people to shift from set ways and so by ourselves through conversations and various media as you are doing, express the right way to behave. That's the whole point of the gospel of Christ, love one another, this can only happen after the mindset has been totally overhauled through studying and meditating on words of truth. Thanks for sharing.
it's an unfortunate experience. However, remember that this thing called marriage can go wrong sometimes, in virtually every culture and region of the world. It can also be very lovely when you get it right. My advice is to pick a friend first, before a partner, forget wealth which often misleads many. The key message of your video is very important - and I applaud you for your intellect and bravely. Parents, please take note. Some men do all those weird things perhaps because they didn't trust their partner. A lot of men are really worried about their partner cheating on them, unfortunately.
Hello summer i always watch your videos but have never left a comment but this is so touching i,m Igbo and married to an Igbo man i understand i think it's your background all Igbo men are not the same i think it has to do with the individual we should be careful of so many things we do before our children because it might affect them in future it doesn't really have to do with Igbos alone it includes all tribes and races.
Chidest Ugo Thanks for your contribution but At 6:36 I said that most Nigerian cultures favour men. So I wasn't talking about Igbo culture only. At 9:24 I said 'I'm not saying all men are bad" At 9: 30 I said " I didn't realise not all households were like mine" At 15:03 Main point of my video; what I saw at home shaped me and my thinking .. parents be careful what you allow your children to experience.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I’ll like to caution those who are criticizing her and saying she is wrong and not all Ibo men are like that; she never said all Ibo men are like that . Even her title personalized her experience: “ I am that Igbo girl who didn’t want to marry an Igbo man : here is why” We should listen to others and not be quick to judge them
You are very honest. Everything you said in this video happen in my place as well, I'm from Edo state. The men are never wronged. Just as you said proved, they just want to they are the man of the house, they want to make you feel inferior. This video brought me memories of how my father treated my mum. Many Africa men have killed their wife just because they want to prove that they are the man of the house. If they can be human as you said every thing will be okay. It's their low mentality they think they are wise, of which they are not. Would they allow any man to treat their own daughters the way they treated our mothers.? Marriage of those days were slavery thank God for civilisation. Imagine in some family in Africa most especially Nigeria they will only send the boys to school and they Will not send the girls to school just because they are girls.
Everything you’ve said is the truth, most Nigerian women are afraid of this but those that have the courage are married now. I have experienced stuffs from my environment as well, d.v very rampant ,people talking down on their wives and the rampant noise from neighbors shouting st their spouses in the middle of the night. It’s sad and I’m happy women are now speaking up and they are now understanding the importance of being whole without looking for people to validate them. Unfortunately, ppl are still in this bondage; we wish one day this will be a thing of the past. Ps: don’t comman tell me it’s our culture because I believe everything can be unlearned especially if one party is feeling victimised Thanks for this piece
Hello summer aku , I really enjoyed this video and it’s sad to say but you saying the truth. I have experienced such in my family as well to the extent that it makes me hate my tribe and although not everyone is like that. I can’t begin to explain the abuse I went through and the discord sown into the family by my parents. If u don’t mind we could connect through email
I think it's our choice whom we want to marry. My dad and mom are Igbo and my dad is a very humble, peaceful, educated loving gentleman which i always tell people that i can only describe him with Jesus of Nazareth. My mom was the troubled person in the family because i think she is a worrior. (Nwanyi agu ;-) ) I first married a Yoruba lady who got pregnant by another man in our matrimonial home after we already had 3 children. It is not about blaming anybody because i leaned a lot in a hard way from her after she broke my heart because i truly loved her. Now i am with a white woman who understands me better. @summer Aku, i can feel your pain due to your own experiences with your dad. As you said yourself that all Igbo men cannot be the same irrespective of the Igbo's or men general "I am a man syndrome" I suggest u meet a professional to be specific a therapist that you can open up your pain trauma. Dont underestimate that childhood pain. I think Igbo men are one of the tribe in Nigeria who respect women in Nigeria but you also have wicked men everywhere in the world. So, its not a tribe thing but ' individuals ' whom you are dealing with. Thanks for sharing your story. Jah bless nne ;-)
Wow Summer, you are so young and yet you experienced this wicked act. I hear stories of this omenala but then I heard it took place way way back in the olden days. So imagine my shock to hear you actually experienced it not so many years ago. This made me sad. Am glad the trauma of all you saw and went through did not affect your lovely personality.
You are hundred percent right .my father was different but I got married to a man like you described. I thank God I was in the country that gives women right to get away from slavery
You and me both! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 And we’re not alone. A lot of igbo women prefer men from elsewhere. I’m in a yoga group of 95% igbo women and only one of us is married to an igbo man. We all admitted to consciously not wanting to marry igbo men. The high handed mess is something I will never be able to deal with. I’m still terrified of igbo men. Especially those who were raised in the east. It’s an epidemic. I couldn’t accept it. It was inevitable that I’d marry outside igbo land.
Big sist I think it happens almost in the culture of Nigerian olding days, where they thinks or take MAN like GOD, I remember growing up as a kid I was having discussion with my grandmother so she said my daughter am happy u are born in this generation when women also have right to talk or move out of marriage when is not working out for the both parnter, she said in their time anything man do he's always right, when u have problem with your husband his people will come and say women must be submissive to her husband they will ask for white chickens without sopt to apologise to her so called husband, I thank GOD for everything am married to am igbo man I can tell he's the best thing that ever happens to me
😀😀 see me. Yes this is among the video i watched when we arrived but guess what I don't even know where to comment then or like. Thanks so much dear for your encouragement because you are my role model in the ministry. That is How I was brought up too. My mother is always wrong. It still happens in some places that the woman will kill goat or hen to apologize. That Ego still dem. Let some men be human. May her gentle soul rest in peace.
I am ibo, Summer you r 100% right. The men r always right,. They don’t know how to say I am sorry!! I live in America so I don’t experience that much. Back home, I hope things have changed especially with in-laws interfering in the marriage
Summer my sister, I should start by saying I am sorry for what you went through as a child, it was by no means justified and I am sorry it affected your decision on marriage. Having said that, you should realize that Imo and Anambra have different cultures, I grew up in a family where my mother’s voice counted and all my uncles ‘s wives are well respected by their husbands. I have been married for more than twenty years and never had any reason to regret marrying my husband, we met here in the United States. My daughter one day told her dad (my husband) that if cannot find a man like him, that she will not get married and her dad smiled and told her a man better than him will marry her. There are bad men everywhere including in western world. I have some of my female patients who are constantly live in fear of their spouses and these are white women. Any way I enjoy your honesty and sincerity. May God help us.
Thank you. I can not and didn't generalise on all Igbo men oo. All I said is, my experience at home made me afraid of Igbo men and I'm advising parents to be careful what experiences they allow into their children's memory.. and what your daughter said to her dad confirms what I'm saying.. All I narrated here is what happened at my house not what happens all over Igbo land. Thanks for sharing ❤️
Then change the title of this video, please, because am so concerned with how your family issues will end up crashing another persons interest in an igbo man.
Your title was totally wrong...... That's why people comment without watching. How can you equate all men? If your dad was terrifying, does it meant that every igbo men are terrifying?
Where in this video did I equate all men? And where did I say that all Igbo men are terrifying? My title is perfect 👌🏽 The whole story that I shared here still leads to the fact that "I'm that Igbo girl that didn't want to marry an Igbo man". Anyone with common sense will watch the video first to find out why.. It's there in the title "I'm that Igbo girl that didn't want to marry an Igbo man. Here's why" There is no where in this video that I said all Igbo men are bad, or that the whole of Igbo people are bad. At the end of the day, our life experiences shape us. I simply shared my life experience... I talked about my family and things that happened in my family. Not what happened in other people's family. My personal story. And I'm not changing my story for anyone. NO ONE!! Everyone is free to comment but anyone that comments to abuse me, I DELETE & I BLOCK!!!
Juliet Mozia So TH-cam will delete a channel because someone shared her life story? You're very funny and ignorant. Search TH-cam and see people sharing their life stories daily but ignorant and hateful people like you think you have the right to shut people up just because you do not want their story to be shared. It's good to see that blocked people like you are creating more profiles just to come leave a comment. I will continue to share my story. Is you don't like, don't watch and yes I will continue to block anyone that throws insults at him for sharing my story.
My sister you are right. Everything you said is true. I am an igbo woman myself, grew up in igbo culture and speak igbo as my first language. What you said is true our culture allow igbo man who are married to get away with stuff.
Summer I am so sorry for everything you went through. God Blessed you with a wonderful husband and children. You have a wonderful life now and just to look at you I can tell you are very happy now.
Summer I love all ur Testimonied because they are unique, different from what others are doing.this is pure Evangelism, I tell because u are a witness to the things u say ,it make sense.good job,ok, we do appreciate u .all ur stories are true so it is helping some one
Hi Summer, So sorry to hear what you went through with your parents. Sorry O! Pele my Dear. 😘🤗 I pray that God heals all your wounds and helps turn all those tears and thoughts of sorrow into tears of Great Joy and Laughter! IJMNA 🙏 Don’t know you... But I feel you Girl... And I love you. Most importantly, God loves you! He’ll “Turn your mourning into Dancing Again! He’ll lift your Sorrows!” 😀💃🏼 And I can only guess that you went through all that you did, in order to SAVE others from going through the same thing or worse!! Because you WILL be an Ambassador for Loving Relationships! And a Torch Bearer for Peace, Love and Respect in Marriages, Families and many Homes!! IJMNA, By the time Jehovah, God our Father washes you and comforts you with HIS LOVE 💖 Amen. 🙏 Shalom and Agape my Dear! I ✌️💝 I leave you in the bosom of our Heavenly Father. 🤗 Much Love, Princess Shalom
Hello Sumner, I stumbled on your channel. I enjoyed your videos and I just subscribed because you are down-to-earth and your stories are real. I think you are brave to share lots about your family😂😁 My parents marriage was the exact opposite of yours. It was full of love. And I craved the same. Thank God I have had the best 18 and a half yrs of my life with my loving husband 🙏 But I have a friend here in London who experienced the kind of king-husband vs servant-wife marriage. He was physically abusive😶😑🤨 They eventually split up. Parents have to exemplify love and discipline. Nigerian men have to be re-oriented to know that loving their wives is a sign of strength and not weakness 😏 Also they need to know that hitting their wives is a sign of weakness and insecurity, not at all a show of strength🤣 They need their heads checked by psychiatrists, seriously. I was born in Benin City, but I now live in London with my husband and two teenagers 😍 I write Romance Novels. I visited Abies and Tom's channel after you laughed your way through one of your videos walking in the park on a wet day talking about them. Nice couple. I have now subscribed to their channel🤣 Keep Vlogging👍😂
Summer, it is sad to learn that you went through that. I can only imagine how tough it must have been for you. First, I am Igbo. Second, I am a man. Third, I like to think that I am loving and caring. Fourth, I am convinced that what you described happens in many Igbo homes. Fifth, I don't agree with that aspect of our culture. Sixth, my late father was the most loving man in the whole wide world. I miss him so much more than I can explain. Seventh, we need to fix some aspects of our culture. Not sure it would happen soon, considering that Igbos are so damn had to control. Eighth, apart from my father, I know a lot of other loving and caring Igbo men, who won't allow such to take place in their families. One was my loving grand dad. The others are some of my brothers and friends. Ninth, when a certain black man does something wrong, some people pounce on it to decry black people. Well, we call that racism, because that certain black man does not represent all black men. Your father, is/was not a reflection of all Igbo men. Sure, he had the support of other men in the community you grew up in. They still do not reflect all Igbo. I too have issues with certain Igbo practices and aspects of our culture. As you alluded to at some point, not all Igbo men, not all Nigerians, not all Igbo hones are like that. Issues exist for sure, but we still have to try, hard as it can be to draw some lines and not generalize. I like your videos by the way, and I agree so many things need to change. I know some men who fit your father's description, but I also know many who shaped my life with love, warmth, care, open-mindedness, and charisma. By the way, I married a white woman, so I went far away from the Igbo culture. Sad you went through all that.
Nne.. my sister... the things some of our mothers and women go through in Nigeria eh. I just thank God that I am born in this generation and live in North America because if I was a woman back then.... only God knows where I'd be. I thank God for my husband oh.
Summer, you are right, some may not understand you, some of us that saw abusive marriage in our parents will understand you MINE is a polygamous family, my dad was authority in the house, a non nonsense man, so authoritative strong displinarian, a tyrant husband. Just as you said kinsmen will always come to settle, my mom will cry in the midst of the kinsmen, at the end my innocent mom will be ask to cook with chicken and beg dad. Many a times, after they have gone, mom will hold us to chest and said, I WAS ORPHAN AT A VERY TENDER AGE, I SUFFERED TO GROW UP AND THAT'S WHY, SHE MARRIED DAD AS A SECOND WIFE, SHE WILL NOT GO BCOS WE WILL SUFFER", WE ALL WILL START CRYING AGAIN AND BEGGING HER NOT TO LEAVE US WITH DAD", beside, she don't even have where to go ............... OMG, I am crying again as I am writing this comment. ........ When I grew up, MANY GUYS WERE COMING TO ASK MY HAND IN MARRIAGE, I REFUSE TO MARRY THEM, because of what I saw in my parents. God's will, I end up marrying a guy from my place, who grow up OUTSIDE our place (complete outside igbo land, don't even behave like igbo, don't understand igbo language ), I refused him BCOS he is from my place, MY brothers talked me into marrying him, that he will not behave like our people BCOS he left our home at age 5, and never visit till around age 28. We both actual grew up outside our place, the same city and never knew we are from the same town for the first time. . We have been marrying for 20years + and still counting by God's grace, and he never raise his hands on me oooooo
She is not lying at all. My home was very calm but if you examine the culture you will see the foundations for the attitudes that created a home such as the one she had to live in. Read Dympna Ugwu's " What will my Mother say" . She corroborates the same things.. So I can relate and can imagine. I am a guy, yet I know she is not lying. Although she is of my generation, we are more lovie dovie and I believe the one under us even more so. A change is happenning in the culture.
Nne, it's like your father and my father are brothers from different mothers. I don't know if any man can match my father's wickedness. You don't want to know. He got his kick by making my mom and us children miserable. I don't know that I will ever get over the trauma of being my father's daughter. I hope that I will make out time and tell my story as you are doing here. Meanwhile, keep shining. You are very bold and very brave and obviously, very beautiful and for that I admire you a lot. Godbless!
Sister don't take what happened to you referring to all lgbo mam all father are not the same I have a lovely father my father love mother the same applies to lgbo women
In this video I explained
=how what I experienced at home affected me and even affected my sisters.
=how I thought it was the norm in Igbo land. The key word is "thought"
=how it affected my decision
=I talked about how most Nigerian cultures do not favour women
= and most impotently, I said that we as parents should be careful what we allow our children to experience because it can leave negative impressions in their hearts forever
But what some people hear is
=Igbo culture is bad
=other cultures are better than Igbo culture.
But I never said or implied that. All I shared is my personal experience at home. My home is not the entirety of Igbo land. I never generalised. I simply talked about what happened at my home.
Isn't it unfortunate that instead of people concentrating on the message in this video, they choose to start a fight that does not exist.
Tell me a single thing I said in this video that should be offensive. Quote a sentence I made that is wrong.
My experience; my life
Summer Aku Vlogs my dear I think your vidoes are only for martured and open minded people .even Though u try as much to break it down and be logical some people will still misinterpret you...not every student will pass exams no matter how easy...
Kyrian Uwandu
You are the stupid one here.
The video said "girl that didn't want to" know the meaning of didn't? It's paste tense but your stupid brain only wants to come and throw insults. Didn't and does not are two different things. And you're an animal for insulting my mother who you have never met.
One of her crimes was allowing my brother to kill our hen that was hit by a car and was dying already. My father was not In town so she told my brother, the fist so to kill it before it dies completely. When my father returned and heard about it, he said it was an abomination for his son to kill a hen while he is still alive and my mother had to kill a goat to apologise. So you're very stupid for insulting my mother. IDIOT!!!
Lizette Lum
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Kyrian Uwandu there is something seriously wrong with you. It's because of people like you who likes sweeping all our problems under a carpet until it chock us. I'm from another west African country every thing this young lady being saying happen to one of my sisters in the end her husband killed her left two children of five years and one year. It's my 69 year old mother looking after the kids with our help. This young lady is not saying all men are bad but the truth is a lots of women are in bad marriage which affect their children
Kyrian Uwandu Are you ok?
Sorry for all you went through.
I was lucky to have a different experience.
My father was an epitome of loyalty and Love. He bought a car for my mum whilst he walked to work every day.
My husband is a great husband and father. Spoils me to bits.
My father and my husband are both Igbos.
Thanks for sharing sis
That's life, our stories are all different.
You are truly blessed. I wish I had that.
❤️Summer
joyce ngozi [private]
Aha !! Individuals vary so a I'm really surprised that people from same tribe are judged as being the same !! Very wrong.
Thank you let her be dwelling on the past.
Nne you and I grew up in the same home. I felt you were describing my father. It didn’t stop me from wanting to marry an Igbo man though because I knew other Igbo fathers that weren’t like my father. I knew my father was simply a wicked man.
ASK THE REAL GOD TO GIVE YOU THE RIGHT PERSON AND THE BIBLE SAYS MARRY TO YOUR TRIBE
she should have made the video solely about her home front, and not the 'IGBO TRADITION'.
I'm a proud Igbo man. Nne you have made your point. I know where you're coming from and I want you to know that you are brave.
Lesson well taught. Got ya!
@Tired Siren I never heard that women were buried with their husbands. Do you know that in England, women and children did not owe property until very recently. This is the genesis of the law of Trust in English law. Check this "1918 Women over 30 are granted the right to vote in Britain. 1920 The Sex Discrimination Removal Act allows women access to the legal profession and accountancy. 1921 Unemployment benefits are extended to include allowances for wives. 1923 The Matrimonial Causes Act makes grounds for divorce the same for women and men."
But in traditional Igbo societies women had rights to vote in Ohaneze. Umu ada (daughters of the land) and umu ndom (wives of the land) had rights.
Women in Igbo traditon have property rights. However she did have the right to sell. A widow will retain her husband's property till her sons grow or till she dies. She cannot sell neither can another person sell it as far as she is alive. Same with the daughter if she is the only child. If she had a son out of wedlock, the boy will inherit all of his grand father's property.
My dear, our traditional culture was not bad.
@Tired Siren pls
In nigeria
Igbo women
Have
More right than some tribe
And they killing of twins
Was not mainly igbo
Tribe
It was the people of calabar and ibibio tribe
Im Latin and Caribbean ever since my college days Igbo man always pursued me. They said I could pass for Igbo lol. There were some yurubas that came after me but I couldn’t relate to them. Finally I ended getting married to Igbo man , he’s awesome, funny and loving.
kutita kerida that's great to hear you got a good one 😊
Green Greener well he’s quite proud of his heritage, he’s not diluting himself we just happen to fall in love and got married. I’m a mix off everything I have African ancestry in me, Native American and less then 10% European. In my case your theory does not apply.
I can not express how relieved that someone is talking about something that I have lived with. Summer I absolutely feel and agree with you on this. I was scared of marriage and had to ask God to teach me what marriage was all about and to remove the fear of marriage from me and God in his mercies removed the fear and showed me that marriage was a beautiful thing and not what I grew up seeing.
My aunt married an Igbo monster but I am dating an amazing Igbo man and I thank God for giving him to me as a gift and a sign to show that there are amazing men out there. Women if we want our men to change, we should train out sons the way we want our husbands to love and treat us. Let our daughter in-laws who get married to our sons come and say thank you to us for training our sons to be amazing men.
Thank you Summer. Daalu
Your father is the guilty one. Am 47 years old, and I have never seen my parents fight , not to talk about inviting Umunna or similar groups
your case may be different....childhood memories influence our decisions in life. No one should be blamed.
Rapidcabin -Portacabin
Thank you for sharing your story.
And I'm Happy for you that you didn't experience what I did.
No child should.
Uzodi
You've made so many comments but nothing tangible. If you hate what I do so much, Why not leave? Wouldn't it be easier to do that?
All I did was share my personal life experience. You don't have to like it... but that does not change the fact that it's my experience.
Uzodi She never made any sweeping statements. She categorically stated that she was making her point based off of her personal experience and the perculiar dynamics of the home that she grew up in
Uzodi you're saying utter claptrap!
Try to learn not to project your faults on other people.
I'm Caribbean woman living in canada dating this igbo guy he's very nice
Abigail Alexander most Igbo men are good it depends on individual or the family background where someone comes from, this is just her story but not the stories of Millions of Igbo children. People always spew trash on social media i think this should be private.
Golden Alberts you're so right we've been together 6yrs he does my laundry he cook for me i do appreciate him
Abigail Alexander I'm also Caribbean in the U.S.A. dating a Nigerian Igbo man. Him and his family are a dream come true. They call and check-up on me all the time. They love me more than him, Especially his uncle who's a preist he calls me princess👑Diana.....LOL😀😁😂.
DianaSoleil M That is good that his family likes you because Nigerian parents don't want their children marrying Caribbeans
Anita Done kindly desist from making general and sweeping statements such as the ones you have made about all the different cultures and how they conduct their marriages. I hsppen to know men across all the cultures you mentioned as well as other cultures not mentioned, who are all different shades of loyal and faithful and monogamous! I know Yoruba men who don't even have the desire for any other woman apart from the one they married, and i equally have philandering igbo friends! I remember telling an Igbo pal of mine how beautiful his wife is, yet he's out here scouting a less beautiful woman! I also know very monogamous Hausa men. Everyone can share their own personal experience, as Summer did, but that's all it is: your personal experience! Fact is that there are all shades and colours of human personality and you will find every kind represented in every tribe. If you have been married to a great Igbo man for 20yrs, good for you, and I'm happy for you! But there are people who are not. So no sweeping statements please.
I understand you perfectly summer, mine was what happened to my widowed mother scarred my mind towards marrying in igboland, but, I also understand that Yoruba or other Nigerian tribes are not better either, more like jumping from frying pan into fire proper!
😭😭😭 you just described my family. It’s still happening till date...... I had to stand up for my mum when my limbs got strong. Big ups Summer!!!❤️
ifechukwu john truly
Books and education saved my life. Books were my escape and introduction to strong women. I got admission to uni and that’s it, as soon as I graduated, served, got a job, I left the house and rented a place so the captain can have his ship to himself. His favourite phrase was always there can never be two captains in a ship.
Nelo Suji sounds like we had same captain 😃
Nelo Suji
You coment got me laughing so loud when you got to the part about "so the captain can have his ship" 😂
😂😂😂that's my dad's escape clause too to justifying anything he does😂😂 Also he will always remind you that this is house and if you feel uncomfortable with his rules then you should leave 😂😂. I had a very mean father too but he was sometime very loving and caring. I miss him now everyday.
Lol, I didnt think there could ever be two of this type of Captain
Yessoo sis, its his ship afterall. I cant tell you the freedom I got the day I moved out. It was a breath of fresh air. It was one of the best decision of my life. I didn't even care if i never get married like some people hinted.
This also happened to my mum...i watched her wail after the meeting.it was so heart breaking😢for me
You are so right my sister i refused to be treated like that thanks be to God for coming to America. I know better and no man will treat me like that even when we go home. Thanks my sister for this topic. Be bless and don't let anyone treat you like so.
I just love your wisdom and understanding, keep it up and remain bless Summer.
Mister John i don't think so. ..but if you feel so, me myself and i. ..abùm nwa afor...true biafran blood and her story is not far from my own thanks
Phoeeeeeeeeeey,Mr John. You know nothing about Summer.
Sit your ass down and keep your macho views to yourself.
Go watch some football or do some other 'manly' thing.
I'm sure you'll find great wisdom there!
My sister, i am not fighting ohhh, but if you end up with any body not just igbo, who lacks home training, your children story won't be different from hers!
You are an amazing woman Summer. You speak your truth and it resonate with some of us who are not Igbo. Thank you for telling our story.
Hahahahaha!!!!! Mr John, you are not Igbo, your name denotes that.
One of your best videos .keep going you are doing GREAT Summer. you are intelligent and never doubt yourself. You are going to change a lot of peoples lives young and old.
In my opinion, Summer, you are a very brave, intelligent, respectful and empathetic woman. I hope that your thoughtful commentary on this volatile issue will, at least, spark some mature dialogue amongst individuals and or groups. Who knows...someone's mind set may actually be changed...some very "traditional-thinking" husband may even recognize his wife as a partner, not some wayward child to be scolded and chastised . Thank you again for relaying, to us, your family's experiences and perspectives.
As for me I notices that any igbo man that like omenana too much they are very hard to please some of them you can never pleased them they will always find one fact or the other. Can u image I have a friend that married omenana man, the man they will always quarrel for some stupid stuff like the wife didn't prepare his food, she forget to bring washing hand water, drinking water when he is eat,or the wife ask him where he is going, the man will beat her. But when you marry a good igbo man he will treat you like a princess
Very brave of you to share. This will help a lot of people out there.
Summer, you are very brave, expect more attack responses from your people. I am a Nigerian but not an Igbo, the situation described or narrated by you happened, and still happens in some of our societies till this day. Even some of us who live in the western societies at the moment still engage in this cruel and uncivilized practice.
Thanks for sharing your truth! I’m Yoruba & we ignorantly envied Igbo women bcos we only saw how Igbo men provided for their families & the men’s wealth was displayed on their wives & children, we didn’t see the domestic abuse my Igbo friends would talk about as the bad aspect. One said “an Igbo man would beat the living daylights out of his wife & then buy her the most expensive George wrapper to wear & put her on display for all to see....As for Yoruba guys, generally speaking, best boyfriends, worst husbands...But with maturity one sees that there is no good or bad culture , race or ethnicity, but good & bad people...
Rubbish!
As am Igbo man, my father is the best man i have ever seen,great man of Love
You are so right because most kids that are coming up now with parents that are fighting and arguing and that's all they see on a norm yes indeed they do feel like that's normal I've never seen my parents fight or argue my children never seen me and their father argue or fight my husband and I we do not fight or argue we talk and we've been together for 39 years we've been married 36 years and he has never been abusive physically or verbally to me and me either and just so happens this man was speaking to him about his wife how she calls him names and get upset and throw things around and he asked about me what does your wife do that he said no man he's at my wife don't cuz she said so whatever kids see and there around that all the time they're going to think that it's normal and I feel sorry for you so much, this was very educational! GOD BLESS YOU 🙏
Sapphire wish all parents acted like you.
God bless your family.
Nice One Sis, your children will be well balanced adults.
EXTREMELY VALUABLE INFORMATION. I can FEEL ur the SOUL. BRAVE, HONESTY, & SINCERE. Thanks for SHARING ur EXPERIENCE.
I'm caribbean living in New york Married to an intelligent, smart, educated descent igbo man.who came from a good family.
That's new York sis,if you are in Nigeria you will understand better.....so you are a new Yorkers that's why you are talking like that, an Igbo men are very intelligent when it comes to business, but little of them are acedemician also ,and very hard workin
Please don't mind what that woman said ahe didn't tell us the evil side of her mother to her father I am an Igbo man and if her father is wicked should she use it to qualify all the Igbo men their are women and men everywhere allover the world why should permanently taking it to the Igbo men and don't mind that woman who told you when you come back home ask other Igbo married woman and hear from them and one thing I want you to know is that we Igbo men will not support anything evil because it will backfire to the man or his children thanks
@@thugrighteous8755 You are damn wrong
Sister you said it all and you are very correct God bless you for this
Oh Summer, I love that you're speaking on this. So relatable. Also worried about marriage but I do not think it is everyone. I do not think it is a goal. It is perfectly fine to decide not to do it.
Thanks for sharing sis, I can relate in the sense of when I went to Nigeria in the early 90’s: Women seem to be at the mercy of their husbands - this put me off Nigerian marriage at 14yrs old.
This happens every were in Nigeria not only with the Igbos, women and children don't have a say.
Yes I agree and I said it in the video that Nigerian culture does it favour women. But I addressed what I went through as a kid as how I thought it was only an Igbo thing until I later realised when I grew up that it's Nigerian culture does it favour women. But as I kid, all I saw was what I saw at home
ant Nam, happy you didn't experience such. while I was in Nigeria my best friend was a Yoruba girl her name is Yemisi , there was aways a fight between her parents that most of the time with tears and fear she sleeps in our house with her mum beaten and driven out by her dad not in all homes but in all tribes, including yoruba.
Ehis Vera, completely agree! If we all put tribalism and ego aside, we are all the same.
Very sad
Ehis Vera! Yeah you are right... until the government has strong social welfare scheme and the society attains gender equality
I applaude you summer, you are speaking YOUR truth, and you are correct, when women are not valued in any culture, it is very bad, make no mistake about it, I am with you, you deserve to be heard, respected, and shown love, and if a culture does not adhere to it, then it is not something that you should be a part of, when we know better, we do better!
summer I enjoy your vlogs, you are so strong and brave.
Unfortunately, I know exactly what you are saying. My mother showed partiality to my brothers as well.
Summer I understand what you are saying, but I disagree with you about Igbo men,, because of the experience u had with your father does not mean that all Igbo men are desame,, we have alot of good Igbo men out there,, am sorry to say this, like what you've just said about your people, that u must get married to an Igbo man, and it must be from your side,, it's Anambra people that mostly say that to their children ,, especially traditional men,, and they mostly put fear in their children from getting married to their choice of man,, and at the end their daughters will not get married,, I know a family friend from Anambra state,, their father is a real traditional man,, and has 4 girls,, suitors do come asking der hand's in marriage, der father keep rejecting them,, unless it must be a man from their side,, an Anglican, and all those rubbish he said,, and this man is a no no man,, very strict,,, its 8 years now,, those girls are still leaving with their parents, unmarried,,, my dear summer am an Igbo lady,, my parents are Igbo too,, and am married to an Igbo man too, loving and caring,, and my parents never told us one day, that the man we must get married to, must be an Igbo man, or from my town, no no no,, they will only tell you to get married to a man of ur choice that you love and he will love you too, and both of u should leave happily..... All men are not desame,, it depends on the kind of family you come from... I love my Igbo people 👨👨👦,,,Ndi Igbo kwenu!
I think what she means is that, the home front shapes the childrens view of the outside world. I knew I could not marry an Igbo man based on MY experience. It was awful. Yours was great but the greater message is PARENTS SHAPE THE WORLD VIEW OF THEIR CHILDREN. The parents is the childs 1st example of the how the world works, lets try to improve our collective treatment of women and children.
Chyena 🙏🏼
Finally!!! Some one that gets my message.
My main message is for parents to be careful
what experiences they leave in their children's memories. The only man I talked about here is my father. I didn't say all Igbo men.
We've all had different life experiences and these experiences shape us.
I even said it at 15:03.. parents be careful
Uzodi.. Yesoo, Igbo Ndi oma
I got married to an Igbo man from Anambra the first son of the home. To God be the glory they are wonderful people. I said I am not going to marry an Esan man because of too much tradition and rules.
Ify Bekee HEI!
Adanne I followed what you just said. I believe they are all true. It's a pity the trauma you passed through growing up. It should only make you stronger and not break you. There are families that have it worse and yet they didn't give up. God is your strength. Life is full of challenges and we just have to keep fighting
My sister, I don't know whether you are Yoruba or Igbo.But what am trying to say is that am Igbo born and brought up in Igbo land.My parents are both Igbo's and they are so lovely to have us all.I think the problem is from your father. This is individual difference.. My father have not took my mother out to kindsmen .#if you open your doors,mosquito will eventually fly in. This is every where not only Igbo men.In my own Case you are allowed to marry any man of your choice. But they will question you first,........ If you thoroughly love the man so be it.
Keep quiet you dont know what you talking about..
You hit the nail on the head. I am a full-Yoruba man. My decision to marry a non-Yoruba was borne out of my adventurous spirit. How many years am i going to spend on earth and then restrict myself to the same set of people/tribe? It was a no no for me. I grew up with the mindset and conviction of marrying a non-Yoruba (whether igbo or hausa, i didn't mind so far she is a christian). This made me to be open-minded to people of all tribes. I wanted to learn and know other people/tribe. Funny enough, i ended up with a Delta-Isoko lady.
My closest friends are Igbos. I never generalize on a tribe, i see individuals differently. When my colleagues were "runsing" where NYSC will post them. I was not moved nor interested. I was just interested to go out of my comfort zone. Interestingly, i was posted to ABIA - God's own state and precisely UMUAHIA NORTH ( my second home after Ibadan). I made lot of friends and after 6yrs of passing out of NYSC, i have revisited like 3 different times.
Let me just pause here before i write an epistle.
Obey Always awesome.. i love this
Agreed with her 100%
I think I understand you perfectly. Am an igbo girl too who got married to a man of similar mentality and cultural beliefs, it's been difficult for me and most women in Nigeria and Africa as a whole. I think this issue is African based but many people are beginning to awake to the fact that that is no marriage at all but bondage and slavery. That marriage should be based on love, understanding, tolerance, selflessness and forgiveness. Nevertheless there are still some good igbo, Nigerian and African guys out there, one just have to prayerfully find your God ordained spouse.
In fact your message is very educating. It's really igbo man's culture but I think it's no more that way now.
I'm so pleased that you are open and honest
I must say you are very brave. A lot of people who grew up in this kind of set up will never speak up and they do go on to repeat what they saw. I will say you are brave my experience is very different because my dad was raised by only his mum who obviously lavished attention on him making my dad very loving. What you have said here explains why marriages are failing abroad because in most cases the men never own up.
You always make yourself very clear but yet some people still bash you because they can't comprehend well. Nice video.
Yes, Sister, the experiences we give our children is extremely important as children are impressionable and indeed. That poem (I think it is classified as a poem), "Children live what they see... " comes to mind. God also gave you a lot of wisdom, my Sister. Peace & Blessings in the name of Jesus.
My dear I can relate to your stories....well summarized.
I feel exactly how you feel. Growing up in Nigeria.
This is so sad summer sorry you went through all this. I was thinking my dad was strict until i watch this omg this is worst
Wow
Thanks for sharing
It’s your Life story and hope this can be a learning curb for change
Hi Summer, thanks for your honesty. Hopefully we as parents will not make same mistakes. But the said thing is behaviours like that are still amongst us Nigerians even in the Western world.
AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH. THAT'S WHY WE DODGE EM SO HARD!!!
This is very informative thank you very much Summer for sharing with us. This does not stop one being a man. This is a very strange tradition 🤝
That’s true Summer, I’m from Igbo land too but it’s actually found in ungodly men who loves massaging their ego. Thank goodness my dad wasn’t like that. Thank God you have healed from that
This video brought tears to my eyes as it reminded me of my childhood, although my father wasn’t Igbo but he was the typical African man and my mother suffered and is still suffering till today. Culture has done a lot of damage to a lot of people especially women.
Sending lots of hugs to you
💋❤️
Summer Aku Vlogs thank you 🙏
Absolutely 💯correct 👏👌👍🙌
This girl's videos are so highly addictive. I am an Igbo girl that has lived abroad since the age of 4. I am 18 now and not speaking or understanding Igbo is my biggest shame/dissapointment in life. My experience was very different as my family on both sides are filled with men that have such an incomprehensible amount of respect, adoration and love for their women. We are Igbo as far as can be dated back in time and the amount of happy homes and lack of any broken marriages lead me to believe this was a very Igbo thing. In fact, this in combination with the amount of Yoruba men I know that have a complete disregard for women as equals has resulted in a fear of Yoruba men for me. Countless Yoruba men have tried to approach me not knowing that my mind was already made up against them. I am currently dating an Igbo man who respects me and loves me unconditionally. However, this video has really been an eye opener that I should not limit myself to just one tribe of people. Growing up, I witnessed several of the sexist elements you spoke of within the Igbo culture I was exposed to but chose to ignore them because of my parents never condoned such things. My mother is the most outspoken out of her sisters and has always been a feminist, which is quite rare in her generation. A lot of my Igbo friends have parents with marriages that are similar to your parents' marriage.
The truth is, that practice is not synonymous to only Igbos but to all tribes. On top of that, take a look at the divorce rate within Nigeria community in U.S and U.K. This has got nothing to do with tribes but individuals.
The same way Nigeria men are killing their spouses in U.K and U.S. evil knows no tribe.
The thing is, a lot of people have been have been brainwashed that other tribes are useless besides their tribe.
Summer is just sharing her personal experience.
My dear marry whoever who love and cherish you dont ever fo tribe thing because not all igbo men are caring and loving the samething not all Yoruba men are irresponsible it depends on individuals there are Yoruba men that are responsible too I am an igbo and I was brought up not to hate anyone on our family we have both Yoruba son inlaw and daughter inlaw
I am truly sorry to hear your personal experience. It is very important not to get stuck in the past, a lot of Igbo families do not adopt most of the things pointed out in this video.
Even with these bad experiences, I think it’s still important to value your culture and family.. because in some way that’s all they knew. It’s like growing up in Nigeria & being flogged in school, we still appreciate the discipline even though it’s not the best strategy.
Anyways, thanks for sharing & I hope other men (regardless of culture) can learn to treat their significant other better.
Macho macho still haven't change I can totally relate to your story.
Nne isiri ike nwanyi. I'm very proud of you. I completely relate to your story and ended up staying away from Nigerian men altogether. Im happy you found love and i hope you heal from the traumatic experiences you had. Thanks for sharing.
As an African American, well in title anyway, I have seen these cultural practices in our families too. Men cheat, beat and if they provide, then the woman especially does not have a say. We women work and provide for our children and in some respects, we have endured cultural similarities that seem to span tribes even if they are continents and oceans apart. I know my mother, grandmother, aunts and uncle wives have been physically and mentally abused and I have seen it passed on to my male and female cousins and their children. And my siblings and I as well. The worse cultural practices seem to stick in our memories and influence our behaviors especially when we don't have exposure to something different. I watch many of my African sisters explain and reveal to us in the west that even in our differences there are many, many similarities and I think I have watched you say it on more than one occasion, that it should be about being human not a man or a woman or allowing a cultural practice to dominate or supersede what is fair and decent. I thank the most high Yahuah, for social media which when used correctly, can expand our understanding globally of each other. We have to learn to love and respect each other more and consistently world wide in order to heal our cultures, tribes and relationships. Shalom!
Am a huge fan. You are what you are now because of what you saw, read, and was fed. And other factors. I like what you are now and this is why the Ibos love thier mum, more
oh my world my dad did de same fin to my mum it's not only the igbo's am from delta state warri and am married to an edo man and am very happy
Joy erilibe edo to the word
Thank you for this video.You are so right.My dad was a very nice man and my mom is a strong woman.She taught us culture and also taught us not to tolerate any nonsense or abuse from anyone in live generally and also in marriage. I am bringing up my girls that way. No one is a slave and married should be a good and happy thing. Not a place of humiliation of either man or woman. If you are in a toxic place. Please seek for help.
Nwanne m I know how you feel because I grew up in toxic household with my parents constantly beating each other, using us little children as their soundboards to vent their frustrations, mistrust and just crazy horrors that children should not have to witness. I used to think I was the only one that went through this but now I'm hearing more stories. My dad blamed us children for not solving the marriage and the community said similar things. I felt so guilty, useless and drained for years.
The experience put me off of marriage altogether, though I am married now. I saw that the same people who were judging us children for being problem-solvers were having mature marriages themselves so I knew it was just my father being spineless rather than Igbo men and these people enjoying the power to judge and control others.
Thanks summer Aku for the video but frankly igbo tradition is not as you thought. ..I am an igbo man from imo state...the fact remains that your father is a hard man who never had respect for the wife...the umunna judged their matter based on what your father told them..if your father really loved your mother. .he would have settled every dispute between him and your mother privately without letting you the children know let alone inviting those drunkards that called themselves umunna.they will come eat and drink and judge in the favour of your father as the head of the house. .pls my dear if you see a nice suitor irrespective of him tribe and you know that he will love you..adore and respect you..please marry him...marriage is all about love and happiness. ....sometimes I do have issues with my wife...we settle it inside our bedroom without anyone knowing about it. ..in conclusion. .you sleep on your mat the way you spread it..thanks
I wish I had this same trepidation. I would have been smarter about who I married.
Don't Waste Your Precious Time my sister, Yoruba is in the house 😂😂
summer God bless you, i went through the very same thing if not worse my mum was not at home other wives were. i remember very well how my dad called family meetings upon meeting against his own children and they would judge against us our dad constantly blamed us for everything he did not do right. my childhood experience put me off marriage i can't go through the rigours of inlaws, obey all what husband says if not you aren't a good wife, so called family meetings i adore my freedom and independence, love my life , joy and peace..
Ife di na'ebe di na'ebo, it means as it is in one place so it is in another (Delta Ibo). There are many things wrong in our culture, the mindset is archaic. Your story is a universal problem though. As one who loves biblical truth and principles, I try to educate our people on the need to act through love and justice rather than through the burden of misplaced traditions. Do unto others as you will love them to do unto you. It's hard to persuade a people to shift from set ways and so by ourselves through conversations and various media as you are doing, express the right way to behave. That's the whole point of the gospel of Christ, love one another, this can only happen after the mindset has been totally overhauled through studying and meditating on words of truth. Thanks for sharing.
it's an unfortunate experience. However, remember that this thing called marriage can go wrong sometimes, in virtually every culture and region of the world. It can also be very lovely when you get it right. My advice is to pick a friend first, before a partner, forget wealth which often misleads many. The key message of your video is very important - and I applaud you for your intellect and bravely. Parents, please take note. Some men do all those weird things perhaps because they didn't trust their partner. A lot of men are really worried about their partner cheating on them, unfortunately.
Hello summer i always watch your videos but have never left a comment but this is so touching i,m Igbo and married to an Igbo man i understand i think it's your background all Igbo men are not the same i think it has to do with the individual we should be careful of so many things we do before our children because it might affect them in future it doesn't really have to do with Igbos alone it includes all tribes and races.
Chidest Ugo
Thanks for your contribution but
At 6:36 I said that most Nigerian cultures favour men. So I wasn't talking about Igbo culture only.
At 9:24 I said 'I'm not saying all men are bad"
At 9: 30 I said " I didn't realise not all households were like mine"
At 15:03
Main point of my video; what I saw at home shaped me and my thinking .. parents be careful what you allow your children to experience.
+Summer Aku Vlogs: Summer thank you for sharing your story.
@@summeraku why people get offended,you said it from a begining that this is based on your experience....greetings 😀
Thanks for sharing your experience. I’ll like to caution those who are criticizing her and saying she is wrong and not all Ibo men are like that; she never said all Ibo men are like that . Even her title personalized her experience: “ I am that Igbo girl who didn’t want to marry an Igbo man : here is why” We should listen to others and not be quick to judge them
You are very honest. Everything you said in this video happen in my place as well, I'm from Edo state. The men are never wronged. Just as you said proved, they just want to they are the man of the house, they want to make you feel inferior. This video brought me memories of how my father treated my mum. Many Africa men have killed their wife just because they want to prove that they are the man of the house. If they can be human as you said every thing will be okay. It's their low mentality they think they are wise, of which they are not. Would they allow any man to treat their own daughters the way they treated our mothers.? Marriage of those days were slavery thank God for civilisation. Imagine in some family in Africa most especially Nigeria they will only send the boys to school and they Will not send the girls to school just because they are girls.
Everything you’ve said is the truth, most Nigerian women are afraid of this but those that have the courage are married now.
I have experienced stuffs from my environment as well, d.v very rampant ,people talking down on their wives and the rampant noise from neighbors shouting st their spouses in the middle of the night.
It’s sad and I’m happy women are now speaking up and they are now understanding the importance of being whole without looking for people to validate them.
Unfortunately, ppl are still in this bondage; we wish one day this will be a thing of the past.
Ps: don’t comman tell me it’s our culture because I believe everything can be unlearned especially if one party is feeling victimised
Thanks for this piece
Blessing Edem pls are u full nigerian
Cynthia Larbi what difference does that make ? Please enlighten me.
Hello summer aku , I really enjoyed this video and it’s sad to say but you saying the truth. I have experienced such in my family as well to the extent that it makes me hate my tribe and although not everyone is like that. I can’t begin to explain the abuse I went through and the discord sown into the family by my parents. If u don’t mind we could connect through email
I think it's our choice whom we want to marry. My dad and mom are Igbo and my dad is a very humble, peaceful, educated loving gentleman which i always tell people that i can only describe him with Jesus of Nazareth. My mom was the troubled person in the family because i think she is a worrior. (Nwanyi agu ;-) )
I first married a Yoruba lady who got pregnant by another man in our matrimonial home after we already had 3 children. It is not about blaming anybody because i leaned a lot in a hard way from her after she broke my heart because i truly loved her. Now i am with a white woman who understands me better. @summer Aku, i can feel your pain due to your own experiences with your dad. As you said yourself that all Igbo men cannot be the same irrespective of the Igbo's or men general "I am a man syndrome" I suggest u meet a professional to be specific a therapist that you can open up your pain trauma. Dont underestimate that childhood pain. I think Igbo men are one of the tribe in Nigeria who respect women in Nigeria but you also have wicked men everywhere in the world. So, its not a tribe thing but
' individuals ' whom you are dealing with. Thanks for sharing your story. Jah bless nne ;-)
Wow Summer, you are so young and yet you experienced this wicked act. I hear stories of this omenala but then I heard it took place way way back in the olden days. So imagine my shock to hear you actually experienced it not so many years ago. This made me sad. Am glad the trauma of all you saw and went through did not affect your lovely personality.
You are hundred percent right .my father was different but I got married to a man like you described. I thank God I was in the country that gives women right to get away from slavery
You and me both! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
And we’re not alone. A lot of igbo women prefer men from elsewhere. I’m in a yoga group of 95% igbo women and only one of us is married to an igbo man. We all admitted to consciously not wanting to marry igbo men. The high handed mess is something I will never be able to deal with. I’m still terrified of igbo men. Especially those who were raised in the east. It’s an epidemic. I couldn’t accept it. It was inevitable that I’d marry outside igbo land.
Ha, Summer wetin we do you wey you run😃🤣 it is not good to discriminate against any tribe o!
Big sist I think it happens almost in the culture of Nigerian olding days, where they thinks or take MAN like GOD, I remember growing up as a kid I was having discussion with my grandmother so she said my daughter am happy u are born in this generation when women also have right to talk or move out of marriage when is not working out for the both parnter, she said in their time anything man do he's always right, when u have problem with your husband his people will come and say women must be submissive to her husband they will ask for white chickens without sopt to apologise to her so called husband, I thank GOD for everything am married to am igbo man I can tell he's the best thing that ever happens to me
😀😀 see me. Yes this is among the video i watched when we arrived but guess what I don't even know where to comment then or like. Thanks so much dear for your encouragement because you are my role model in the ministry. That is How I was brought up too. My mother is always wrong. It still happens in some places that the woman will kill goat or hen to apologize. That Ego still dem. Let some men be human.
May her gentle soul rest in peace.
Preach, much respect to you sistah
I am ibo, Summer you r 100% right. The men r always right,. They don’t know how to say I am sorry!! I live in America so I don’t experience that much. Back home, I hope things have changed especially with in-laws interfering in the marriage
Ruth AdaYeshua continue living in America as a slave, what da hike y’all know about Igbo culture? Absolutely nothing.
Summer my sister, I should start by saying I am sorry for what you went through as a child, it was by no means justified and I am sorry it affected your decision on marriage. Having said that, you should realize that Imo and Anambra have different cultures, I grew up in a family where my mother’s voice counted and all my uncles ‘s wives are well respected by their husbands. I have been married for more than twenty years and never had any reason to regret marrying my husband, we met here in the United States. My daughter one day told her dad (my husband) that if cannot find a man like him, that she will not get married and her dad smiled and told her a man better than him will marry her. There are bad men everywhere including in western world. I have some of my female patients who are constantly live in fear of their spouses and these are white women. Any way I enjoy your honesty and sincerity. May God help us.
Thank you.
I can not and didn't generalise on all Igbo men oo.
All I said is, my experience at home made me afraid of Igbo men and I'm advising parents to be careful what experiences they allow into their children's memory.. and what your daughter said to her dad confirms what I'm saying..
All I narrated here is what happened at my house not what happens all over Igbo land.
Thanks for sharing ❤️
extrela son Did I ever say she was generalizing?
Uzodi You if understand it that way so be it dear. This is free world. The fact is Imo and Anambra cultures are not the same.
Then change the title of this video, please, because am so concerned with how your family issues will end up crashing another persons interest in an igbo man.
Chifinebabe Chifinebabe Well said sis, may God bless your home...
Marry whom you love and who your heart feel happy with.
Your title was totally wrong...... That's why people comment without watching. How can you equate all men? If your dad was terrifying, does it meant that every igbo men are terrifying?
Where in this video did I equate all men?
And where did I say that all Igbo men are terrifying?
My title is perfect 👌🏽
The whole story that I shared here still leads to the fact that "I'm that Igbo girl that didn't want to marry an Igbo man".
Anyone with common sense will watch the video first to find out why..
It's there in the title
"I'm that Igbo girl that didn't want to marry an Igbo man. Here's why"
There is no where in this video that I said all Igbo men are bad, or that the whole of Igbo people are bad. At the end of the day, our life experiences shape us. I simply shared my life experience... I talked about my family and things that happened in my family. Not what happened in other people's family.
My personal story. And I'm not changing my story for anyone. NO ONE!!
Everyone is free to comment but anyone that comments to abuse me, I DELETE & I BLOCK!!!
Juliet Mozia
So TH-cam will delete a channel because someone shared her life story? You're very funny and ignorant.
Search TH-cam and see people sharing their life stories daily but ignorant and hateful people like you think you have the right to shut people up just because you do not want their story to be shared.
It's good to see that blocked people like you are creating more profiles just to come leave a comment. I will continue to share my story.
Is you don't like, don't watch and yes I will continue to block anyone that throws insults at him for sharing my story.
My sister you are right. Everything you said is true. I am an igbo woman myself, grew up in igbo culture and speak igbo as my first language. What you said is true our culture allow igbo man who are married to get away with stuff.
Summer I am so sorry for
everything you went through.
God Blessed you with a wonderful
husband and children.
You have a wonderful life now
and just to look at you I can tell
you are very happy now.
Summer I love all ur Testimonied because they are unique, different from what others are doing.this is pure Evangelism, I tell because u are a witness to the things u say ,it make sense.good job,ok, we do appreciate u .all ur stories are true so it is helping some one
Hi Summer,
So sorry to hear what you went through with your parents.
Sorry O!
Pele my Dear. 😘🤗
I pray that God heals all your wounds and helps turn all those tears and thoughts of sorrow into tears of Great Joy and Laughter! IJMNA 🙏
Don’t know you...
But I feel you Girl...
And I love you.
Most importantly, God loves you!
He’ll “Turn your mourning into Dancing Again! He’ll lift your Sorrows!” 😀💃🏼
And I can only guess that you went through all that you did, in order to SAVE others from going through the same thing or worse!!
Because you WILL be an Ambassador for Loving Relationships! And a Torch Bearer for Peace, Love and Respect in Marriages, Families and many Homes!! IJMNA, By the time Jehovah, God our Father washes you and comforts you with HIS LOVE 💖
Amen. 🙏
Shalom and Agape my Dear! I ✌️💝
I leave you in the bosom of our Heavenly Father. 🤗
Much Love,
Princess Shalom
Summer, my sister, you are right on the dot!
Hello Sumner, I stumbled on your channel. I enjoyed your videos and I just subscribed because you are down-to-earth and your stories are real. I think you are brave to share lots about your family😂😁
My parents marriage was the exact opposite of yours. It was full of love. And I craved the same. Thank God I have had the best 18 and a half yrs of my life with my loving husband 🙏
But I have a friend here in London who experienced the kind of king-husband vs servant-wife marriage. He was physically abusive😶😑🤨 They eventually split up. Parents have to exemplify love and discipline.
Nigerian men have to be re-oriented to know that loving their wives is a sign of strength and not weakness 😏 Also they need to know that hitting their wives is a sign of weakness and insecurity, not at all a show of strength🤣 They need their heads checked by psychiatrists, seriously.
I was born in Benin City, but I now live in London with my husband and two teenagers 😍 I write Romance Novels.
I visited Abies and Tom's channel after you laughed your way through one of your videos walking in the park on a wet day talking about them. Nice couple. I have now subscribed to their channel🤣
Keep Vlogging👍😂
You can only choose to divorce if your partner commit adultery or if your life is at risk. Apart from these, there's no reason to divorce.
Wow, I like your mindset. What about if your man is going through financial difficulties?
I love your analysis Summer. I am Ibo but some of our culture shock me. Please I want you to talk about ibo women and inheritance.
Summer, it is sad to learn that you went through that. I can only imagine how tough it must have been for you. First, I am Igbo. Second, I am a man. Third, I like to think that I am loving and caring. Fourth, I am convinced that what you described happens in many Igbo homes. Fifth, I don't agree with that aspect of our culture. Sixth, my late father was the most loving man in the whole wide world. I miss him so much more than I can explain. Seventh, we need to fix some aspects of our culture. Not sure it would happen soon, considering that Igbos are so damn had to control. Eighth, apart from my father, I know a lot of other loving and caring Igbo men, who won't allow such to take place in their families. One was my loving grand dad. The others are some of my brothers and friends. Ninth, when a certain black man does something wrong, some people pounce on it to decry black people. Well, we call that racism, because that certain black man does not represent all black men. Your father, is/was not a reflection of all Igbo men. Sure, he had the support of other men in the community you grew up in. They still do not reflect all Igbo. I too have issues with certain Igbo practices and aspects of our culture. As you alluded to at some point, not all Igbo men, not all Nigerians, not all Igbo hones are like that. Issues exist for sure, but we still have to try, hard as it can be to draw some lines and not generalize. I like your videos by the way, and I agree so many things need to change. I know some men who fit your father's description, but I also know many who shaped my life with love, warmth, care, open-mindedness, and charisma. By the way, I married a white woman, so I went far away from the Igbo culture. Sad you went through all that.
lovely. thanks for sharing.
You're beautiful and intelligent
You are right, I thank God I am not living there any more👍
Nne.. my sister... the things some of our mothers and women go through in Nigeria eh. I just thank God that I am born in this generation and live in North America because if I was a woman back then.... only God knows where I'd be. I thank God for my husband oh.
Summer, you are right, some may not understand you, some of us that saw abusive marriage in our parents will understand you MINE is a polygamous family, my dad was authority in the house, a non nonsense man, so authoritative strong displinarian, a tyrant husband. Just as you said kinsmen will always come to settle, my mom will cry in the midst of the kinsmen, at the end my innocent mom will be ask to cook with chicken and beg dad. Many a times, after they have gone, mom will hold us to chest and said, I WAS ORPHAN AT A VERY TENDER AGE, I SUFFERED TO GROW UP AND THAT'S WHY, SHE MARRIED DAD AS A SECOND WIFE, SHE WILL NOT GO BCOS WE WILL SUFFER", WE ALL WILL START CRYING AGAIN AND BEGGING HER NOT TO LEAVE US WITH DAD", beside, she don't even have where to go
............... OMG, I am crying again as I am writing this comment. ........
When I grew up, MANY GUYS WERE COMING TO ASK MY HAND IN MARRIAGE, I REFUSE TO MARRY THEM, because of what I saw in my parents.
God's will, I end up marrying a guy from my place, who grow up OUTSIDE our place (complete outside igbo land, don't even behave like igbo, don't understand igbo language ), I refused him BCOS he is from my place, MY brothers talked me into marrying him, that he will not behave like our people BCOS he left our home at age 5, and never visit till around age 28. We both actual grew up outside our place, the same city and never knew we are from the same town for the first time. .
We have been marrying for 20years + and still counting by God's grace, and he never raise his hands on me oooooo
She is not lying at all. My home was very calm but if you examine the culture you will see the foundations for the attitudes that created a home such as the one she had to live in.
Read Dympna Ugwu's " What will my Mother say" . She corroborates the same things.. So I can relate and can imagine. I am a guy, yet I know she is not lying.
Although she is of my generation, we are more lovie dovie and I believe the one under us even more so. A change is happenning in the culture.
Nne, it's like your father and my father are brothers from different mothers. I don't know if any man can match my father's wickedness. You don't want to know. He got his kick by making my mom and us children miserable. I don't know that I will ever get over the trauma of being my father's daughter. I hope that I will make out time and tell my story as you are doing here. Meanwhile, keep shining. You are very bold and very brave and obviously, very beautiful and for that I admire you a lot. Godbless!
It’s our culture LoL well happy you living your best life
Sister don't take what happened to you referring to all lgbo mam all father are not the same I have a lovely father my father love mother the same applies to lgbo women