What Limerence Does to Your Body
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ธ.ค. 2023
- I offer personal counseling with a scheduled appointment or on an "emergency" basis.
For my help, please contact me: fenna@followingfenna.com
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Hello there!
My name is Fenna van den Berg, I am a certified coach and counselor. I have worked in the mental health field for over 25 years.
Having been through episodes of Limerence, I have "earned my stripes" to help others with their recovery. I understand the obsession and suffering of Limerence. My passion is being able to share with you, and all limerents, a guided-way forward on your journey of healing. We do this through discovering and practicing self-love and compassion. As someone who has suffered through limerence, I have developed effective coaching for people with limerence. My Coaching has helped countless have a more purposeful life, and I want to help you. We will work together, so that you may have a life more in line with your values and integrity.
Together, we are blossoming a community of friendly people with the same debilitating feelings and experiences of Limerence. Here, we share with, support, and nurture each other in giving love to ourselves, perhaps for the first time.
When you’re ready to end your pain and suffering from seeking the "Other," I’m here to guide you in recognizing your true lovable self, with compassionate teaching, counseling and also private coaching.
For my help, please contact me: fenna@followingfenna.com or on followingfenna.com
The phrase "you've picked the wrong person" comes from Alan Robarge, the best relationship educator out there.
@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma
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Join a gym everyone....It greatly reduces the affects of Limerance.....Not to mention you get the same chemicals you get from your LO after a good workout....Only a workout is actually healthy for you.
Sadly, personally exercise hasn't helped me get rid of the constant state of anxiety my body seems to maintain. My body gets physically tired, sure, but my mind is still wide awake at night and my chest consistently still feels in a vice. My mental and physiological states seem to be more powerful than my physical state now...
I remember when I was enduring the first withdrawals from my limerent object; I had a picture of her with her new boyfriend on my phone and did a 5-hour workout with 2 hours straight on the rowing machine, just ruminating in my mind.
This was going on almost a year ago, I guess it takes some time for limerent conditions to workout.
I’ve learnt that not knowing is the smartest thing I can do in an obsession :)
The irony is I met my LO at the gym! I will never see them again, so the gym is "safe." I feel my best when I'm regularly training for sure.
Happy for you for finding solace in the gym. Exercise has definitely helped alleviate my mental stress. Unfortunately in my experience it never had any effect on my limerence.
Ive been in a severe limerant state for over a year. All of these things are really true. I will even say I've aged so much in this short time. It is truly scary.
I'm so sorry for you. I hope you have a great 2024.
For over 3 years I had all these problems. I am sometimes surprised how I navigated and survived those times in one piece. 😵💫😵💫
I remember having pain in my heart for months, I even contacted cardiology to ask if this was normal, and yes after longer periode of stress this is normal.
What you are saying is so true, limerence takes up so much space in your mind that even when it is gone it's like there are echoes of the thought process. Sometimes in my day my mind pops the question 'how do you feel about LO?', almost like an automatic check-in because of so many months thinking about them. I used the limerence episode to heal me of all that made me vulnerable to it in the first place, I've deconstructed it into tiny little bits and collected all the golden nuggets (with massive help to your videos). Limerence can destroy your life, but it can also be fertile soil for your metamorphosis into a more evolved, healed and authentic version of yourself. I'm actually glad I had limerence now, because I know how to grieve, I know how to be self-compassionate, I know the roots and causes, and more than anything - I am so freaking excited to one day meet a healthy match, but from the position of having grown from all of the trauma and pain that comes with limerence.
Well said!! Use the fertil soil ( it's there anyway, better use it) we grief, we heal, and we come out calmer.
And hopefully wiser 😌
This is a very good mindset. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Thanks, Fenna, for this very important information regarding health. Cheers! ☺
As always, you clearly explained how this hormonal “love illusion “ drug affects us who experience this tsunami of emotions. Thank you so much.
Very welcome 🙏 thanks for the comment
Thank you so much for this video. I'm 70 now, and with a lot of effort to regain my health and life after the loss of my beloved husband two and a half years ago -- physical exertion, better nutrition, making new friends, dating, taking classes, going out for fun, traveling, doing new work ... I'm still struggling with adrenal fatigue. I know it's from the stress of the political situation here in the U.S., and because I live in an extreme fire danger area, and our property isn't ready yet. But this video tells me it's also what I sense about the craziness in my nervous system for the last two years, from a married man who flirted with and tested me -- we didn't go further than that -- who happens to have all the qualities of my late mate, whom I still miss terribly. I'm building my new life, but I can't do more than I already am. I'm going to try a hypnotherapist, to see if she/he can help me get me free of it.
I hear you Biondna, thank you for sharing this, there is a lot of useful information in your comment. I hope you will feel better soon.
Thank you, and thank you for being here. @@followingfenna
Thank you.@@followingfenna
Nice tree, by the way.
Altered state. Hmmm. Disruptive. Good info. Chronic Stress. I gave myself anxiety and eczema with the stress.
Thank you so much for this. It's sometimes really nice just to hear someone tell you about and understand exactly what it's like to be in this limerence pain.
Yep. Been there, thank you for this comment.
Love the eyes. So smart. Good decorator.
:)
i always have all this - seem to fall for co-workers in a bad way. it takes so much time, being pre-occupied all the time with feelings and thoughts about certain individuals. My ups and downs of mood relies on any signals/ communication with him
Yep, that's limerence. Good luck Bass!
Even ADHD medicine could not help me focus on schoolwork when the Limerence started.
When I told the doctor, they were like, "It's so nice to be in Love"
Question though Fenna...
Is it possible to be limerent with the partner we are with?
I had these limerent signs while with my X wife. Even though we eventually got married, it was not a healthy situation, and the times where I knew she was wavering on the relationship, these limerence signs would show up, even though I was with her.
It's like you are "with them" but your not when the doubt seeps it's way into the relationship.
Yes you can for sure be limerent for whomever also for your own partner if the bond somehow feels unsafe.
@@followingfenna WOW - Very Insightful, Thank You!
Your nerve system does not care if you are married or not, if your bond is not safe it will react to it.
Also why do they keep coming back? My LO was extremely avoidant and I could identify that it wasnt going to work due to huge differences in our idea of what a healthy relationship looks like and whats required so Id try to walk away and she would then come back after 6 months, 7 months the second time and act like nothing ever happened?? I feel like it just kicked off all the feelings again and she would pull away as usual then id be in even deeper grief. Why do they not just move on, why keep showing up?
Because avoidants
A break up or demolishe the relationship with someone they really love in general
And B avoidants feel safe when there is enough space created. So those are just 2 of the many reasons the avoidant tents to comeback in general.
I have al these things. Still no contact for 2 months now.
Keep going! It will get better
Very proud of you btw
For me, your channel should be called "My limerence with Fenna" 🙌 Haha Just kidding. I'm a huge fan. You've really helped me with understanding on how to individualise myself and maintain balanced, healthy and happy relationships. Thank you Fenna! 🙏
You are very welcome D! Thank you for the nice comments you always write, 😊
Another winner. Thanks Fenna. Happy Holidays
Happy holidays to you too!!
Oh my! This is just what i have been going through for over a year. It has made me so sixk!
I'm sorry to read this. Hope you feel better now
Thank you Fenna for your helpful advice. I listened to it today. One orange for a day is really difficult :( I am glad you are better now. I didn't want to eat sometimes too.
Thank you D!
You're welcome Fenna :) @@followingfenna
I've had ALL of these!
We all did :)
How long did it take you Fenna to feel better or to feel like it was over?
2 years at least. There was progress very slowly 🐌
Thanks Fenna. I’m getting close to a year now of solid no contact. It’s getting better but by no means am I in the clear so to speak.
Do u think exposure therapy will help for social anxiety ?
and CBT helps with limerance ?
In general exposere works good on fear, so yes.
CBT can for sure give some insight in the biases and our distorted thinking, it will not get you out of limerence though, going no contact through the withdrawal is what gets us really out. Cbt can be a part of it, but like an alcoholic you will have to stop drinking.
I've found that not avoiding certain places that we were at together, and even going there, helps. It's very painful, but it helps me get over it quicker. It will still take time.
Is the limerent person body experiencing this whilst they are in limerence or when its over?
During the limerent episode
So why do they continue? Cant they not recognize that this is a strange kinda love with the highs and lows?