Stop Settling For Breadcrumbs in Limerence!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ม.ค. 2024
- followingfenna.com
I offer personal counseling with a scheduled appointment or on an "emergency" basis.
For my help, please contact me: fenna@followingfenna.com
or followingfenna.com
Hello there!
My name is Fenna van den Berg, I am a certified coach and counselor. I have worked in the mental health field for over 25 years.
Having been through episodes of Limerence, I have "earned my stripes" to help others with their recovery. I understand the obsession and suffering of Limerence. My passion is being able to share with you, and all limerents, a guided-way forward on your journey of healing. We do this through discovering and practicing self-love and compassion. As someone who has suffered through limerence, I have developed effective coaching for people with limerence. My Coaching has helped countless have a more purposeful life, and I want to help you. We will work together, so that you may have a life more in line with your values and integrity.
Together, we are blossoming a community of friendly people with the same debilitating feelings and experiences of Limerence. Here, we share with, support, and nurture each other in giving love to ourselves, perhaps for the first time.
When you’re ready to end your pain and suffering from seeking the "Other," I’m here to guide you in recognizing your true lovable self, with compassionate teaching, counseling and also private coaching.
For my help, please contact me: fenna@followingfenna.com or on followingfenna.com
The phrase "you've picked the wrong person" comes from Alan Robarge, the best relationship educator out there.
@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma
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Followingfenna.com for help in your limerence
Breadcrumbs like getting a 2 word text msg 😖😖
Yep, thats a breadcrumb alright
A strong clue
I find that memories of the past breadcrumbs are having the same effect as the actual breadcrumbs. Vacuuming them all out of my mind takes forever. Please don’t give up on your healing, you are worth it and worth respect
This young lady really knows what she is talking about.
Im not even getting crums any more,im getting out of this low grade relationship.
Thanks for your guidance
Young lady!!! I'm 50 but thank you 😊 🙏 ☺️ 😌
so true! it's all about scarcity..it makes us love them even more!
Yep, it does 😞
Your videos are so on point, and extremely accurate. I can tell you’re speaking from experience. Over time I’ve realised how my LO gradually turned the tap off, and enjoyed having that sense of control. Having feelings for someone else makes us extremely vulnerable, we basically put our well-being in someone else’s hands. I regret ever allowing that to happen, because undoing it is a long and painful process.
I so agree, undoing it all is hard, but then again, we only wanted to love and be loved
Oh the breadcrumbs!
YES, those
@@followingfenna I know this is not healthy for me.
I totally never really thought about it like this in a friendship. Thx. Walk away and take a loss - 🤝it’s a win now thx
Exactly, if we walk away we thank ourselves later
Amazing information, thankyou!!
Sounds like my mom with the breadcrumbs. Once in awhile, she would give a compliment or some small acknowledgement, enough to give hope to a starving child. Looking back, it was so cruel! I don’t know if she consciously calculated this, but, it gave her all of the power!
Thank you for sharing this Tina
I have been following hope for months now
"You won't be crying every day for a year." I have. 14 months.
I'm so sorry to hear that, good luck to you.
they know when they leave scraps for us...that's right though - love should not make us feel desperate..
I broke NC unfortunately after 4 months - holidays! Ugh! And we bread crumbed each other - it was kind of positive. Seems we are no contact again just before NYE into NY. The pain of our mutual limerence is definitely greater than any pleasure now so I will use the relapse of NC as a reinforcement of its purpose. Back to working on myself and realities into the New Year. Happy New Year Fenna!
Happy new year. Relapsing after 4 months is quite common so don't beat yourselve up. Good luck to you!
Thank you Fenna,new sub✌️👍🌹
Yeah ! Thank you
Good one!
Thank you!
Great tree and great hair. Happy New Year
Happy new year mister
Hi Fenna I love your videos you are so spot on it it's spooky! however in the video you never touch on what makes the other person behave the way they do it's very perplexing to say the least
Thank you!! and you are right, my channel is about the limerent not so much on our LOs. Although I'm making a video on what to do when you are a LO.
www.youtube.com/@followingfenna/community
Hehehe, so long lovers, I get whole croutons :)
😢
Then I guess the worst kind of limerence would be when there is absolutely no bread crumbing, and yet you keep on following keep on longing for someone who has shown zero interest towards your advances for 7 years straight
No bread crumbs yet no self respect to not follow
I meant my comment above as a response to you in particular. Wishing you the best
@@5gx673I read it now. And I relate. Still waiting for that rainbow after rain though 😞
I think when that person is someone you dated and made you feel so special then discarded you like trash overnight is more painful.
❤💔
Hi Fenna do you also know a cause of being serial limerent? And what the difference is against being "incidental" limerent? Best wishes from Limburg for 2024 🤭
I heard from a therapist once that when you're used to absence, longing feels more comfortable than the reality of a real relationship. So someone with a neglectful or completely absent parent or a parent who died might be prone to serial limerence because they're very comfortable in the state of longing and missing.
Being a serial limerent might be caused by attachment wounds, we pick unavailable partners. I've never heard about incidental limerence, maybe they mean when you've experienced 1 episode in your life.
Wich is 1 episode too many :D
@@rebecca9949 This is true. I did not really have parents where I could rely on. I didn't see my dad for 25 years summed up. And my mom always went working after I got home from school. I never really talked to my parents as well. They both where emotionally very closed.
@@followingfenna I meant that I have been in serial limerence episodes when I broke up with my ex-narcist in 2018 after a "relationship" of 15 years. When I ended one episode, a new one started right after. Last episode though is still running through my mind although I have not had any real contact with them after July 2023.
Do you think it's quite likely that the LO could be a narcissist? or any Cluster B?
Since unpredictable behaviour feeds limerence, that might be the case.
Your advice is not to be in love. Much easier to say than do. Ok, I was in this situation. I was in relationship with a woman who rejected and then dumped me. I was furious. Could not stop thinking about her. But finally I decided to cut the cord and started to date other women. I found several decent women who wanted me a lot. But problem was -- I did not want them. They were boring. So I cool and calm way returned to contact with my first love.
Of course that's not my advice :) but continuing an unhealthy situation for years is such a waste of time.
The mechanics of infidelity.