Change & Agency - trying to guide my life in France
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2024
- A very personal vlog about me trying to 'guide the ride' -- adapting to the changes happening in my life in France and trying to have some agency over them.
Let's have a look at the complexities of change and personal agency. That means reflecting on the inevitability of change and the challenge of navigating it -- and pondering the balance between external forces and individual control. Of course you have to acknowledge the unpredictability of life's twists and turns, but I think it is really important to actively shape one's own path.
Here I share some personal experiences of grappling with change, looking at the discomfort of routine and the desire to shake things up. Really though I guess it's a love-hate relationship with routines and I just keep aiming for continuous growth. Embracing change is a catalyst for personal development.
Activities such as acting classes and branching out into different books have helped my journey of self-discovery and adaptation. Despite some setbacks and frustrations, I am determined to embrace change and maintain a sense of agency over life's direction.
Look, in the end resilience and adaptability are part of the human experience, and they really help to confront change with openness and resilience.
** Shot on an iPhone, edited on LumaFusion **
** Music from Artlist **
![[TH] FS vs BME - VCT Ascension Pacific - Lower Bracket Final](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/wnygqsR2Fig/mqdefault.jpg)
Thank you for sharing this glimpse of your life "adventure". How remarkable that both grief and elation seem to reach down into that same place of your being and stir up who and what you are. Again, thank you for sharing.
Life is all that and more.... I'm glad it found an echo with you
Beautiful tribute. I'm so very sorry for your loss. No words can soothe this loss, I understand. I am a dog lover too and I loved Toby as a frequent star of your videos. He was the cutest chien. Sending you warm thoughts and lots of love.
Dog lovers truly understand how devastating it is. Thank you.
❤🩹@@amusingaida
I'm so sorry to hear that Toby has passed on. He looked like a fantastic character I'm sure you gave him a wondeful life.
Changes we choose are what life's all about. Changes forced upon us are where the trouble lies.
Best wishes
He was the absolute best, an utter gentleman of a dog (gentledog). And he lived the best that Paris had to offer but in the end it never feels like it was enough...
So sorry about the loss of your dog. Losing a pet is so hard!!
It truly is.... very much so
Aida, thank you for this video. It was very real, and straight from the heart, and touched on such major issues in this life. Something about your video made me think of one of my favorite movies of all time, "The Great Beauty" by Pauolo Sorrentino. I identify a lot with the main character, Jep Gambardella. There is a quote at the beginning of the movie from Celine's book "Journey to the End of Night." The quote is: "Travel is useful; it exercises the imagination. All the rest is disappointment and fatigue. Our journey is entirely imaginary. That is its strength." I have reflected a lot on this concept. I think I understand it. But, also, it has meant different things to me at different times....Routine vs. Non-Routine. I've grappled with this a lot over the years. For quite some time I toiled in the corporate world as an editor for the largest publisher in the world. I eventually walked away from it, and went the opposite direction. My wife and I now live the digital nomad life. We are constantly moving forward to new places, exploring new things, but I do often miss the comforts I once enjoyed of a single place to call home. I think a lot about the concept of "home' and what that means. I frequently feel untethered. Overall, though, I am happier with this life than the one I lived before. Most of the last decade or so, I've spent on the West Coast of the U.S., but soon we will be in Europe for a while---Paris actually, and then moving through Czech Republic, Italy, and Portugal. I haven't been to Paris for a while, and miss it a lot. Your videos are fantastic. You have inspired me to explore the 11th--I have never been to that arrondisement, and it looks amazing! Lastly, your loss...I lost my two cats who were literally like my kids not too long ago, and my father, so I can relate to how you must feel. I think of them every day. Someone once said: "Grief never leaves you, but over time, it changes shape." I think that's true. Merci beaucoup trop!
Thank you for the thoughtful, indepth response to this video. You're right, it was a personal video, touching on reflections about this current of life we are floating atop... and about my dog. I still have no definitive answer about routine vs non-routine, but I remain determined to stamp my direction on whatever comes my way. I may not end up fully in charge, but at least I'll feel like I added my individual spark to it all. And yes: do see the 11th arrondissement. If you've already ticked off all the landmarks to see, the 11th will be a delightful experience of day-to-day Paris life....
Your perspectives often strike a chord with me, being an expat in Paris et al. So thanks once again for wearing your heart on your sleeve and sharing. My condolences on Toby's passing. 😞
Thanks Rob. I hope your Paris living is treating you well.
I am sorry for your loss. It is so hard to lose so close a friend, I still grieve over my lost cat and dog, maybe more than my humans, though I miss them too. Ending a chapter in California soon. Moving back to Paris. My ex still lives there. Wish he could be my friend. Breaking up with him means he does not that. I do miss my home in Paris. I find it soothing to watch your films
Here's hoping you find another, different path in Paris, one that brings its own happiness...
@@amusingaida Merci! Writing!. Best kind of love. Also, my son is often in Paris as his girlfriend lives there
Wonderful heart felt video, sorry about Toby. This is the direction you should pursue for future vids, I enjoyed this one and the last one very much. Bon chance.
Thanks, that's good to know. I still haven't settled on any particular direction for my videos, but if this one resonates more I'll see about returning to some of the elements that made it so...
@@amusingaida The French philosophers invented 'Existentialism' so perhaps that's why it comes so easily. Do you know your MBTI? I am an INFP.
Desole pour tu chien! Parlez vous mi Francise. Parlez anglais, your English is very excellent for a French native, must be studying it by watching undubbed TV or listening to English music like Eurodance which was popular in the 90s
Désolé pour votre chien !
Merci. Il me manque terriblement.
@@amusingaida Courage
Been watching your channel for a while now - at least the last year since we were last visiting Paris (just before Christmas 2022). And got COVID. Sometimes, the unexpected happens and you have to just go with the flow.
I'm SOOOO sorry to hear about Toby. It was obvious from your prior videos how much you loved him. It is terrible that we humans WILL outlive our furry family members and have to face the loss of those we love, often multiple times throughout our lives. We've got cats; I'm an “animal” person equally in love with dogs and cats (snakes, not so much). We recently lost one I considered my best friend.
That hole never fills, but in time, you’ll realize that Toby's death allows you to give your love to another soul, to enrich another life, and to have your own enriched in the process.
I wish you all the best and hope you are able to recover without too much of the inevitable pain you’re feeling. And I hope that someday, when you're emotionally able, you can let us all know what happened.
On another note, I'm curious where you’re originally from and your ethnic background. I don’t think you've ever said in any of your videos.
Loved him, yes. I still love him, it's just that he's not there any more.
Interesting video, very introspective and provides much “food for thought “ for the viewer.
My sincerest condolences on the passing of your dog, that is very traumatic.
Thanks, I'm happy to hear it struck home and sparked some thinking. For me too....
When change happens how much do I have control?. depends of the situation some times there are some control but some times my circle of control is only me and how I decide to perceive the change, is very easy to say it, is not easy some times, some times there are frustration, but every thing pass, nothing in this life last. Some times are joy!!!. in every situation is better to adapt, other thing that is easy to say but some times difficult to admit. In every situation we have to count our blessings and what we have, and the joy of life... Ohh I wrote the previous without see at the end!!!, no the dog!!!....A hug to you!
What a wonderful edited video..to lose your dog is heartbreaking..sending you love
Heartbreaking is the word -- yet also doesn't come close to describing it
I’m so sorry your dog has passed 😢 It is difficult to lose the ones we love. Pets are family, and they accept us for who we are, always. ❤ It’s like losing part of ourselves
That sums it up pretty well, yes. A loss of part of self...
@amusingAida Lovely, thought-provoking vlog. So sorry to hear your sad news about Toby.
Thank you, and thank you for the tip of the hat to Toby
I always enjoy your vlog, the content and editing are quite unique. this is my first time to leave a message. sorry for your loss. hugs to you.
I appreciate you coming out of the shadows to make that comment. That touches me.
I love your videos Aida. This one is very philosophical and I think you are really questioning the meaning of life. I don't believe in a God (and from what you said about fate I suspect you don't either - sorry if that's presumptious) so it's hard to come up with a meaning to life. Having children for most people is as close as it gets I think, but when they fly the nest you're back to asking the same question. What's it all for? I think the best we can do is distract ourselves from the question by amusing ourselves somehow. Some people of course help others, either by the profession they choose or by charity work. Both of which I have selfishly avoided but these people seem happy.
Your comments on routine are very thought provoking. Surely it's a balance that's needed. Have you ever been on holiday doing or seeing interesting things? Isn't it nuce to get back home and just do nothing; i.e. the daily routine of looking after your dog and cat, seeing the same shop keepers, cafe waiters etc? Isn't there a safety in routine?
As for agency, usually the more money you have, the more agency you have. But that doesn't make you happy necessarily but it sure can stop you being miserable. Or maybe become a Buddhist and try to desire nothing. Good luck with that, as they say. :)
Thanks for the reflections, the thoughts you set out. You're right about the comfort of routines. I guess that's what you mean by safety? As for the link between agency and money -- I hope that's not true. Otherwise I'll be relegated to non-agency for the foreseeable future!
@@amusingaida Ha! I'm sure someone with your personality and presenting skills will always be able to earn a living. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you were able to get a TV program of your own here in England, or maybe a spot on another show. The BBC here have a travel program and you could give an insiders view of France. Why not send them a link to one of your videos? It's worth a shot, surely.
Ha! I have friends in the media and they assure me that breaking into TV ain't easy. But who knows? Maybe one day I'll get a shot at a show...
so sorry about your beautiful pup :(
Thanks - I miss him
You are amazing. Your partner is amazing. I lost a beloved dog, Taylor was almost human. Losing her was horrible. Yet, life goes on. If you continue this channel, I will be blessed and happy to watch. Please carry on.
Thanks so much, I know you understand what a dog means
To answer your question, you can 'guide the ride' a lot more than you realize.
Aida, you can fly higher and go farther and grow more than you realize.
What you must do first is not limit yourself in any way, beginning with how you perceive yourself.
You share this from my philosophy:
"You are your own party wherever you go. If you are bored, you are being boring!"
You have begun a thought process that will increase much in the future.
I WILL SHARE WISDOM:
INTRODUCTION:
Aida, when you are 56, 58 years old, and in your 60s, 70s and 80s after that, you will spend a LOT of time looking back on how you lived your life.
Today you see old people together swapping stories of their younger days.
That will be you one day.
It will be more than reminiscing; you will be judging yourself intensely. You will repeatedly review different choices you made, things you did and things you wish you had done.
You will realize what is most important is how you relate and interact with other people.
HERE IS THE WISDOM:
1. You must be aware you will arrive at that type of self-examination.
2. Between now and then, live your life in such a way that you will:
. . . A) Arrive at that point with as few regrets as possible.
. . . B) Arrive at that point with as many things possible to be proud of.
You will be proud of the times you gave your last euro to someone who is poor. You will be proud of the times you were a forgiving, patient woman who did not judge others.
You will be proud of the times you volunteered to serve a cause that helped others.
You will be proud of the times you were otherwise selfless.
Becoming a good skier or wine expert will be nice, but in general not matter that much.
Aida, you are having a life very few other people have.
You have a wonderful apartment in one of the great centers of beauty on the planet.
You are very intelligent and have found enough success to travel around the globe and have more control over your work than most people do. Most others are burdened with far more routine and financial constriction than you are.
You are a lovely woman, who has men looking at you everywhere you go, just because of your physical appearance.
You have style, youth, a superb outlook on life and you look beneath the surface.
You are using your brain and feeding your senses.
You seek more, therefore you will find more.
Yes, Aida, the future is a mystery. It should be.
Your future rests on such a strong foundation that it will be wonderful.
You may be certain you are going to continue to blossom as a woman.
At age 60, you will be a much better woman than you are right now.
Think about that.
I tell you the truth and there is no debate.
Smile, Aida.
Joie de vie, baby.
Garfield, it sounds like you want to share life lessons with people. Maybe consider starting a channel?
@@amusingaida You are too kind.
I do enjoy sharing life lessons and telling stories, but I do not know where to start and do not know if I have the time. I would need a lot of help.
Right now I am thinking of a series in which I describe my painting - you can see a little on the banner of my page.
Every word I told you is true and you know it.
Think about what I told you. Just stop and think about it.
Imagine yourself at age 70 looking back on your life and being pleased you have so few regrets and so many delicious, rewarding experiences and the knowledge you did a lot to help others.
Very intelligent people have a way of moving on to the next thing after they understand something. We also have a way of thinking important things must be complex, when really the most important things in life are simple to state and easy to learn.
I am enjoying your videos and it feels good if I can give you something in return.
Nobody likes routine. But big changes often need routine and discipline to come out. Routine and discipline helps you to change yourself. For example, some years ago I was fat and the only thing I could do well was to work. I decided to change it. Now I can play guitar, sing, run a marathon, dance salsa and I can speak some foreing languages. All this activities required me a lot of routine and discipline to be able to do.
It sounds like you grabbed life by the horns. That's quite a series of achievements!
What if perhaps there is a vein/dimension/realm of knowledge yet to be discovered…within, that will unveil mysteries without as well. The portal is yours to discover, and change is a sure path to it. As you evolve through loss the Angels are with you guiding you into the next version of You. On the other side you will have new eyes to see new things, and new ears to hear new things too. ✨ Thank you for such lovely storytelling, full of beauty, meaning, and honesty. God’s Best.
Thanks for eloquently expressed intention, that obviously comes from a place in the heart.
Your English is impeccable and your style is very unique.
Merci, c'est bien apprécié !
I am so sorry to hear that your beautiful dog died. I know how it feels. It's always so sad, and somewhat life-changing. ~ Your videos are creative, inspiring, and beautiful. Sending lots of ❤
Those are kind words, thank you Yvonne. It was cripplingly sad, though I am thankful for the years I had with him. And thanks for the encouraging words on the videos.
@@amusingaida ♥🥰♥
Aida, this was really touching. In memory ... I am so sorry for your loss. Just remember to keep going.
Thank you for the kind words
Perhaps your expectations are too high. Appreciate what you have and set your own standards. You have a lovely personality so you will achieve what you want, within reason. Sorry for your loss. Did you enjoy Maupassant?
Your perspective on routine is understandable. Who wants to be bored? But without a lot of routine, how do we build the capacity to be resilient to change? The unique moments might have to be relatively rare. Just like those moments of tumultuous change--- hopefully even more rare.Thanks for the thoughtful video!
Maybe there's a way of finding resilience in adapting to novelty rather than routine?
@@amusingaida You play music so you know if we want to have a good experience improvising in a jazz setting, we have to spend considerable time on routine practice (scales, triads, arpeggios, etc.) just to have those infrequent transcendental moments of grace in a performance… but maybe we can make our practice more interesting by mixing things up.
You know far more about music construction than I! But improvisation generally is an activity I can get down with...
gosh .. i was talking about this to my mom today ...
And what did she say?
I live in barcelona and travelling back home on wed and she was come home and we will talk 😂😂😂
That should be an interesting conversation
Just discovered your channel and watching your videos, and I can't get enough. They are artistic, informative, and entertaining ❤
That's some high praise there; thank you so much! Exactly the balance I'm looking to produce...
Ohhhh…such an insightful story which opens doors for us all…and, at the same time, makes us all so vulnerable and fragile with this brief time we (and our pets) are together. Everyday sacred. Merci and our hearts go out to you. 😢💕
Thanks for seeing it to the end, which packs a punch
What a sad ending! So sorry about your beastie. I lost mine, a 17 y.o. Blue Heeler about two years ago and it was awful. Dogs are very much the “spirit of the household,” and their absence is most keenly felt when you come home to an empty house.
It was crushing, losing him, it really was. He was such an integral part of the household.
I spy the window at Maison Proust! your videographer deserves a tip of the hat (x29!)
Sharp eyes sir! Yes indeed, that is the place.
I can't watch your videos without thinking of the movie Amelie. I keep expecting her to make a cameo in one of them. 😊
Haha! Really? Amélie was beautifully produced, but I hope that I'm doing my own thing and that that works too...
First, let me say sorry for the loss of your dog. Your personal quest of trying to understand change and control vs. fate is a timeles question in our lives
If science could unequivocally answer this question would you want the answer? There is certainly neurological evidence that all of our choices are fate and in fact all of our thoughts already exist, we simply become aware of them as they unfold.
Many physicists now debate this quest on a subatomic level. Theologians ponder this, Can Judas be blamed for betraying Jesus, he was always fated to do so. Could we have prophets without fate?
I also enjoy Sci Fi. A short story recommendation, "The Men Who Murdered Mohammed" by Alfred Bester.
Thanks for this latest vlog. I enjoyed it.
Thank you for the kind words, and the thoughtful comments on the subject of the video. I wasn't aware of scientific studies giving evidence of fate, so that's interesting (though I do know about evidence of predisposed character traits, so maybe that's on the same lines?).
@amusingaida I wouldn' go so far as to say there are scientific studies that give evidence of fate. Thete are scientific phenomenon that support the concept.Ver different. I simply asked if that evidence existed, would you want to know?
This video has very different feelings and make me happy and sad
Both feelings are enduring
Well this was interesting...a singular conversation about life going forward...control/no control...fatalism/or not...routine stability/change stimuli...reflection/anger/boredom. I sensed a contrarianism as you proceeded. Yes..shake it up so renew again. So sorry about losing your 🐕 buddy. 🖐 Wisconsin
What are humans but contrarianism incarnated? With the intelligence to justify or gloss over that? Thanks for engaging in the conversation...
@@amusingaida you're welcome...takes me back 50 years to comparative philosophy..which I have mostly forgotten...Sartre? Camus? Always interesting tho.
What if perhaps there is a vein/dimension/realm of knowledge yet to be discovered…within, that will unveil mysteries without as well. The portal is yours to discover and change is a sure path to it. As you evolve through this season of loss the Angels are with you guiding you into the next version of You. On the other side you will have new eyes to see new things, and new ears to hear new things too. 😊 Thank you for such lovely storytelling, full of beauty, meaning, and honest! God’s Best!
Salut Aida, t'es de quel pays? Ton anglais est superb! J'ai bcp aimée ton video, tes perspectives sur la vie Parisienne, la vie en générale, étaient "right on thé mark!" Brava et bon courage!
Thank you! I always had an interest in English (though never lived in an English-speaking country). Ce que je peux vous dire est que Paris est chez moi depuis bien un moment, et c'est la ville je connais mieux au monde. Vous êtes québécoise ?
@@amusingaida Non, non, pas québécoise du tout -- américaine :) Mais j'ai vécu huit belles années a Paris -- elle me manque bcp meme si j'y voyage assez souvent. J'ai toujours adoré le pays et la langue, je me sens toujours chez moi quand je suis la. Bon weekend, Aida
Félicitations sur votre français impeccable (j'ai demandé si vous étiez québécoise car vous avez utilisé le genre pour vidéo souvent préféré par nos cousins canadiens...)
😁😁😁😁✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌wow the dog 👍
Yeah -- he was the best
Love to you and your boy!
Thanks
A bit emotional and touching this vlog. It made me look a little inside myself and also to have a new perspective on the near future.. 'cause I plan to move to Paris for good :))
Yeah, the punch is at the end of the video. I'm happy -- and intrigued -- to hear it prompted a little insight. Any thoughts you want to share? Also: good stuff on taking the Paris plunge. Bon courage !
@@amusingaida, thanks for the encouragement about moving to Paris! Many would be tempted to think that at my age I allready have too much courage for this. 🙄😂
It's just that I don't see things that way at all. I treat this major change as something natural that comes with pluses and minuses. Most important in this process is my belief that this city is what suits me best. Basically, wherever we choose to live, life contains both good and less good things. Exactly how you feel - for example - both Parisian summers and winters. It's all in the package, right? :)))
Thoughts, you say?!
I don't know, maybe I should tell you that your vlogs about daily life in Paris are very close to what I think about what it means to live there.
The only difference would be - joking, of course 😁 - that arrondissements 16 and 6 suit me better than 11 - your favorite.
I'm glad I exchanged some impressions with you and I wish you a fabulous Parisian summer! ✌️
Honestly, there is no age barrier for moving to Paris. And your balanced outlook - realising that there are trade-offs - is the right attitude. Rose colored glasses get cracked if worn too long. And I'm happy if my vlogs offer some insights. But in the end, I'm speaking only for my own experiences and ambitions. Yours will of course be moulded differently. And the 16th and 6th may very well offer more advantages (and fewer disadvantages) for what you're looking for, absolutely!
Of course, the content of your vlogs is closely related to your personal experiences and ambitions. That is how I perceive them, and they have no inspirational effect on me at all. My love for this city is old, and it doesn't even come from this exaggerated (I say) romanticization of it, but from the French culture I was inundated with during a childhood spent under communism. I like all of France, but I choose Paris because I like very big cities, because it is the best French cultural center and for the real estate industry in which I have been active for 20 years.
But coming back, your vlogs help to discover correctly and validly the personality of Paris. When you decide to move entirely to another place it is important to know how every fiber of that place works.
Voila, that's why I appreciate your vlogs. And thank you for them.
@@dragosflorescu6769 I concur with your reasons for embracing Paris. And even if my videos appear romanticized, I can only imagine what the idea of French culture had on you under a communist upbringing (though France's socialist roots flirted in that direction too, at one time, meaning it never gave itself over to the capitalist model entirely). I'm glad my modest little chain can reflect some of the Paris you've built up for yourself over your visits, your upbringing and your own discernment.