Bible Games 3 - Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN)
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ธ.ค. 2012
- For Episode 106, the Nerd goes back to games based on the bible. He already reviewed many of them in AVGN: Bible Games and AVGN: Bible Games 2, but this time he's finishing off all the rest of the religious themed games from the past. Games reviewed include King James Bible for Game Boy, King of Kings on NES, Adam & Eve on the rare NES Caltron 6 in 1 cart, as well as Spiritual Warfare, Exodus Joshua, & Bible Adventures on Sega Genesis. Tune in as the Nerd finishes off all these ungodly games!
This is Angry Videogame Nerd episode 106
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These are the games the Flanders' kids grew up with.
True!
And they got more dull.
There was an episode where they played shit like this lol. You had to convert normal people into brainwashed Christians with magic lasers.
@@otakunthevegan4206 They were shooting them with bibles.
@@JackOfHarts96 There was an awful game a Christian put on steam valve thankfully pulled where you shot at LGBT people, it was made by a Christian and it was exactly what it sounds, disgusting and regressive.
The Gameboy had a battery life of approximately 30 hours. The King James Bible has 783,137 words. Assuming you read at approximately 200 words per minute (the human average), it would take 12 AA batteries to read the entire bible. As long as you asked.
HeadOfBucket
😭😂
@@pfannkuchesindgeil5348 I'm pretty sure that information can be googled.
@@pfannkuchesindgeil5348 How can anyone have that much time?
@@ArrowHeadedSku11B0y I don't have MS word anymore. I have nothing Microsoft related ever since I converted over to Apple.
"Heh, it says dumb ass in the Bible."
I don't know why that makes me laugh so hard.
Open his sack to give his ass...
DGGRevolution it's an old word for donkey but is still hilarious to see in the Bible
Because Red Foreman was apparently in the bible.
And sitting upon an ass
And I laughed a lot at that too. lol
How old are you idiots?
People you don't fuck with:
Chuck Norris
Noah
Chin
Chin is a killer machine
+grimTales1 Some say he's still killing fuckin' ugly reds to this day.
+LordAztahoth For the massacre of the reds, Chin is a Killer machine, killing 1.2 billion (I forgot the rest)
+Galan L 1.2 billion of the Red Communists
ScottL8 I know that Chin is under my mouth
Forbidden fruit gives you points... I don't think that's canon.
SquareWaveHeaven yeah
But points don't help in any way, so it's actually perfect.
Subtle, I like that one...
Forbidden fruit gives +10 to wisdom stats
Well they did gain infinite knowledge...downside is sin was born. now we're stuck with these shity controls.
avgn is the series on youtube where no matter how far back you go, you never feel outdated. you dont feel like youve gotten lost in some obscure corner in the internet. you're right where you belong.
It’s the nostalgia
"every pixel is a sin" lol
I declare Exterminatus on these heretic games.
This damned creation shalt be cast into Hell on an ass
We ALL sinned asf
^
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@@thexdude
^
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He played The King of Kings multiple times to be sure he did not skip part of the ending. You got to admire the dedication.
The bible on the Gameboy was cool in that it predates the now popular kindle. Reading on the Gameboy would be really hard but it shows they where thinking about portable electronic books way back then.
True but why would you read the bible in the first place? You don't that's why.
Durynspokemon Durynspokemon: Offending religion everywhere he goes.
It's 2014 an all I am going to change that cuz it's bothering the hell out of my"True but why read it on the gameboy isn't that what the actual bible is for?" DONE! If I offended anyone sorry I was stressed and didn't take my meds which makes me forget what I was writing. Hope that clears it up.
*Buys caltron 6 in 1 , prints miryad sticker , sticks it on the cartridge , sells it for triple the price*
That's true marketing lol
LeMon BLOCK YOU ARE A FUCKING GENIUS!!!
*Stonks*
*S*T*O*N*K*S*
If someone hasn't seriously tried to forge one of those it's certain to happen at some point in the future.
"Instead of Adam and Eve being a man and a woman, they're now asexual twins."
NES Bible games predicted the plot of Nier: Automata.
Fuuuuck, mind blown 🤯
Brain explodes
Holy shit
They must have been woke or something
I played that part literally a few hours ago 😂
"Part 3 is never as good"
I actually found it the best one.
CalamityAce Like the bible.
Desticler
Desticler yeah, it was great. XD
I never thought I'd see you here...
It's one of the best in ZA WARUDO!
"Look at the cans on that Toucan" XD XD XD
Nathaniel Bandy hey man wassup
Nathaniel Bandy AWSOME
Hey PINK GOLD PEACH IS DA BEST
Nathaniel Bandy is this were you got the triggered videos from
Nathaniel Bandy boom Nathaniel bandy every time even four years back
When he said,"Did the donkey stalk them in their sleep?" I cried of laughter
Stomp*
Smallanders Production It sounded like stalk to me. Y'know, cause of the donkey's face.
Smallanders Production Stalk*
the ass part had me in stitches
*2011
+Abomagoonios Entertainment 2012
+Abomagoonios Entertainment oh ok
lmao I had no idea the Bible was so lewd and ghey.
same here
There's enough Bible games out there that could span 4, 5, or even 6 episodes
But how many of them came out before the year 2000? Because the AVGN rarely goes beyond the Dreamcast, PS2, Xbox, and Gamecube.
@@Bauglir100
Enough to span 4, 5, or even 6 episodes
The real truth about Caltron is that they're a part of NTDEC or Nintendo Electronic Company, a Taiwanese company that produced unlicensed NES games. You can tell that a lawsuit was bound to happen and when they did, they went out of business. It was around the time that the 6-in-1 was made and the Nerd explained that. Though with Myriad, after they released the 6-in-1, they went out of business for unknown reasons.
Donkey = Ass
Donkey Kong = Ass Kong?
That's my new name for Donkey-I mean Ass Kong.
Expand Ass
***** Well he got it wrong. Dumb refers to the state of being silent or mute (As in "I was struck dumb" or "Deaf, Dumb and Blind)
***** Or one that couldn't bray.
Nightbane = Nightass
its just a joke ok.
Shann Balansag Does this mean I get the chance to call you Shann Balanass? Because... honestly any name is hilarious when it ends with ass. Let's see here... arlandyass. Naked Ass... LOL!
Mick Ass, Aiyetoro Metruass and Squareguy Mcass.
1:40 "Goodliest?!".... Had me f*cking ROLLING!!🤣😭👍
Rocking and rolling?
@@SandwichGlitch EXACTLY! 🤣👍
My favorite part of that is if you look at his last shot, he would have spelled noobliest lol. I thought that was funny.
Rolling down a river?
@@SnarkyRC Yep!!.... A river of laughter. A river of hilarium. A river of uncontrollable snickering. A river of accidental pig snort breathing. A river of goofy heaving. A river of... well,, you get the picture. 😂
AVGN has always been very neutral and respectful when it comes to religion and politics. Notice in the video he never attacks religion. He jokes but is never divisive about anything.
I know right? I thought i was the only one that noticed it
I mean I think James is a Christian, but I could be wrong. Idk much about him.
@@1967rhino i was thinking about that as well but im not sure either
@@adeelin776 I can pretty much guarantee that he is not a Christian. He might have been raised Christian and hold a nominally Christian worldview (my guess), but he is definitely not one of them "born again" types, for obvious reasons.
"Every pixel in this game is a sin" - classic!
When you consider that all those games were unlicensed by the videogame's manufacturer, that statement could be taken literally, as a matter of fact.
Games the Nerd absolutely needs to review:
Space Ace (SNES)
Takeshi's Challenge (Famicom)
Spider-Man (PS1)
Nazo no Murasamejou (FDS)
Sonic Adventure 7 (GBC hack)
So?
What's wrong with Spider-Man on the Playstation? It's one of the best superhero games out there, especially for its time.
I never said it was bad; it's not. But, it's glitchy beyond belief.
..Wait, what do you mean RIP Jontron?
***** If you bothered to look at the comments, you'd see I was asking Derpy what s/he meant by "R.I.P. Jontron."
Maybe people don't remember what the zelda save feature was? It was an actual battery backup with a custom SRAM chip. It would really difficult for third party developers to copy this as most of them sent their games to production companies to have the game data stuck in pre-built ROM boards. It would have required software companies to build their own hardware in-house and almost none of them were equipped for that. It wasn't until the 16 bit consoles came along that we started seeing EEPROM and flash ROM, and most of those were expensive enough that they were relegated to cards you had to buy that many games shared.
Sonic 3 on Genesis had a save system so there's no excuse.
I have to admit:
The little duck and the sheep are adoreable.
Krissi_Sue I love that little animation of the duck walking 😁
They’re the goodliest
The polar bear enemy at 12:51 looks adorable too.
Man those ass quotes from the bible had me laughing way too hard.
That jacket is so freaking awesome
"What airline is this, AssExpress?" that got me :D
Give your heart to Super Mecha Death Christ.
FUCKEEEEEEER!!!
WOT IS DOT SHIT
WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAAAAGE!!!
I’m scared. Was that his real heart?
It was because of this episode that I found out that it says "dumb ass" in the KJV Bible. When I shared that tidbit with one of my professors, he had to leave the room because it cracked him up so much. Thanks AVGN X'D
Wonder if AVGN will soon start making reviews for PS1 games, because yeah he does review retro games, but since we are currently 2015 the ps1 is kinda old school and it does have it's fair share of terrible games.
***** He did review Independance day and Pamela Anderson VIP for the PS1, but I also hope he does more.
***** I know about those 2, but come on the Pamela Anderson game was well kinda you know not 100%. What i mean is he did this 12 days of shitmass and it felt like he didn't actually went all in on it, i felt kinda the same for the Independence day. I mean compare those two reviews to something like his castlevania series or dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. Those were some awesome reviews and i don't expect him to go all in and do amazing every episode (he is only human after all), but i have a feeling when it comes to PS1 games he is holding back a bit.
***** Well he did a Dreamcast game recently so maybe he'll get to slightly newer games soon
+IronOrePickaxe true
that aint old school nigga
Part 3 here was the best one to me. "Goodliest?" "loose his ox or his ass* "Whose ass have I taken" "Ugh, I'm going to hell." Amazing!
lol so much ass. died laughing
The bible is full of ass XD
+Internet Anarchist™ and shit.
What about The Book of Genesis on the system Genesis while playing the band Genesis?
I can feel it coming in the air tonight... oh Lord
@@mrscat6234 That's not genesis, that's just phil collins
Playing the song "Jesus he knows me"
The Angry Video Game Nerd MUST do this!
Given the many types of stories and action in bible stories you would think there would be some actual fun games based on scripture.
I agree. Although I'm not exactly religious, I believe that the Bible would make excellent video game material if pulled off properly.
Yeah, like a game where you got to play as Abraham trekking across the Middle East building a party of warriors...kind of like Civilization but you are constantly moving around.
But if you actually put accurate content in there, like raping a girl and cutting her into 12 pieces, the soccer mom's get mad. So yeah.
Wait, a girl got RAPED in the Bible?
There are several situations where this happened, and no it's not made to look like it's okay...
DethGod187 yes though I don't think it says it's ok I would like to see where it says that slavery is bad since it says it is perfectly alright and raped yeah how was Mary impregnated by god? she didn't have much choice in the matter did she?
"Look at the cans on that Toucan"
Such a funny quote to me
whoa..sweet atari jacket! i want one of those.
+mr c eBay has them for $70.
Don't forget the Shasta
Why is there a Gundam in the 6 in 1 game?
Actually, the eggs dropping out of the bird would need to be fertilized in order to be more than yolk and stuff, so technically, it'll be more like a person running a marathon while having a period...
Most birds have internal fertilization, meaning that the eggs are fertilized before they're laid.
Ew
"oohhhh..I'm going to Hell." Don't worry James. More than half of your fan base will be joining you! ;D
Can't wait
xD
+shenloken2 The other half will be close by in Purgatory. :)
Hell doesn't exist, God doesn't exist, religion is bullshit.
The Fappening
YOU QUESTION THE TEACHINGS OF THE MIGHTY JIMMY?!?!?
Let there be shit XD
2:13 also this part killed me XD
AVGN is hilarious!! I love the channel, keep up the good work!!
Jonothan CaRon oh I didn't realize when you make a donation that is what happens. Thanks for that
I remember when this was new. Man, now it’s almost a decade.
Fun to realize that this one still looks relatively fresh because it was shot in Full HD, whereas BG1 was done in 360p and BG2 in 720p, so they both feel ancient by today's standards. Even though BG1 was only six years before BG3 and three years before BG2.
I really like the silver atari outfit for the nerd, looks like a rare cosmetic for a game
it's like a rare cosmetic for the Nerd too, he's only gone for it a small handful of times. makes it all the more special when it does make an appearance every once in a great while
The physics involved in balancing that ark on the point of the rock, not even centered properly is blowing my mind. Like if one titmouse flew from one side of the ark to the other, the whole production would crash and capsize, ending in a watery death. As a Christian, I find these games hilarious.
The guy playing joust was amazing. Pulling off that last second jump before he left the screen with only a fraction of a second to do it is quite impressive
That idea of walking around and up the mountain is pretty clever I think - certainly beats jumping vertically upwards.
2:10 to 2:42 one of the funniest things I’ve seen I almost died laughing 😂
Okay... whether you're Christian or atheist, you gotta admit, that was funny in the end😄😁🤣😂
That's what we'll all say in a version of the afterlife that no one expected.
@@President_Starscream not really.the end where James gives his heart to Jesus kinda scares me
Pretty sure Jesus would have found it hilarious.
OMG! When you said god is taking a shit, it's holy shit; I was laughing so hard.
literaly a holy shit
I shouldn't of laughed so hard on that
Plot twist:at the end of noahs ark, the rainbow appears and then the LJN logo comes up
It's kinda funny that out of all the animals possible, the example he used for how to differentiate genders is probably the easiest irl. Toucans have pretty different color patterns especially on their beaks between males and females.
The last AVGN episode I consider classic. Before the Schwarzenegger Games episode.
Imo episode 100 is what I call the last of the classic
I have a feeling that the AVGN purposefully searched "ass" because anyone with common knowledge knows that "ass" also means donkey.
Regardless, it's still funny.
I looooove the hidden meanings to his jokes. Inappropriate most of the time, yet anybody smart can see what he was also going for.
Wait, serious?
7:34 except for DKC trilogy, those songs are masterpieces and sometimes you pause the game just to listen to the awesomeness :)
By the way there's a Bible game called Zoo Race.
Oh my god Jontron
I heard there is a good bible game called Larry boy and the bad apple and it was based on a children bible show called VeggieTales
No, it's called the Poo Race.
@@pingu4938 Hey, a Caddicarus reference on an AVGN episode! Now if only I could see a comment on an AVGN episode from Caddy himself, then it would've been a match made in Heaven. (No pun intended)
you forgot to add the Mortal Kombat guy saying:
"Jesus wins
FATALITY"
I was scared for a moment that James hadn't heard of Balloon Fight. Nice save lol
Ah, that is where the holy shit comes from. Who knew.
*Meanwhile at Caltron studios circa 1990*
Tom: "Hey Jimmy! What song should we use for that Adam and Eve Balloon fight game we're developing?"
Jim:"uuuuuuuuuuuuuh...fucken uuuuh...Jamacia Farewell?"
Tom:"...Ifuckingloveit"
Part 3 is never as good.
Super Mario Bros. 3
Sonic 3 and Knuckles
Megaman 3
Zelda: a link to the past
Super Metroid
Castlevania 3
Contra 3
Do I need to say more?
RokerFM_a3.4 with mega man I think 2 was the best but that's just me
i agree
It's says "as good", meaning it's good like the previous one. Not the best one. :)
Super Mario bros 3 is the second one and it's good
Sevenshot619 The actual SMB 2 is the ball bastiling hard one that was only released in Japan because they thought we were too pussies to handle it even though we had games like Castlevania and Contra. Besides, if you think that SMB 3 is the second game in the series, then the 3rd game is Super Mario World which is even better than SMB3, in my opinion at least.
I'm sure people have mentioned it before, but the flight to Egypt is a story in the Bible, of course. So when the angel appears to Joseph, you're probably meant to already know what happens next.
(If you're curious, it's Matthew 2, presumably a few years after the actual journey to Egypt. The angel says to Joseph when he's already in Egypt, "Hey, Herod's dead, so you can come back home now." So they all trek back and move to Nazareth.) I guess it'd be a bummer to show the whole scene at the end of the game, since it would basically mean the journey to Egypt was pointless.
Also, I'm impressed that they included the 7 animals thing, even if they didn't stick to the Biblical species exactly. A lot of Christians don't even know about it.
Does it make me a bad person if Iaughed when he searched the word "ass" in the gameboy Bible? (and I know that they meant Donkey when they said Ass)
Maybe or maybe not but we might find out if we die
Well I'm sure you've done worse.. If you went to hell for something like that, humanity would go extinct.
Aaron Jones
except the afterlife has no effect on the living so....
Aaron Jones
Humanity going extinct has to do with complete human death not a mythical hell.
bebobli
Maybe Aaron means that if laughing over a few ass-jokes would send you to hell, humanity has done so much worse that God will eventually get fed up and just wipe out humanity... A lot of the ass-quotes comes from the old Testament, and back then, God would actively interfere and reward/punish humans for their virtues/sins. Supposedly, God stopped doing that after Jesus sacrificed himself, but it's only Christians who believes that. Jews (who lives by the old Testament) doesn't. And if the Jews has is right, God's fury may just strike upon us once again, and then we who laugh at ass-jokes may be doomed. Dooooooomed, I tell ya.
You should do a bible games 4 and look at The Zoo Race
he almost always does console games
He's done some C64 games before, and he looked at PC games for his episode on AVGN games
why? jontron already did that
Yes. Jontron and AVGN are absolutely the same, and there's nothing that the AVGN could do differently.
Jontrons inspiration was actually AVGN lol
7:52
Gotta love that subtle shift in tone.
It's just an suitcase floating in the sewer
I'll stick with the suitcase from Pulp Fiction, thank you very much.
*Laughs at the insanity that happens when searching for profane words like "ass", then sighs.* Laughing my bucking ass off is definitely worth it.
3:59 Those assholes ripped off my game!
***** Well, if you can find it that'd be a miracle. It's a bootleg also
Damn smug bear.
Sir Krigeon Smug son of a bitch, that is.
look at dis smug son of a bitch hes all like what its fuckin boxes world what you expect
Mary fucking Poppins? You seen the rest of these??
This would've been a perfect episode to bring back Super Mecha Death Christ.
'Look at the cans on that toucan!'.... I'll never stop laughing at this.
;Toucan play that game, isn't that right?
+An Di To tell you the truth, some Toucans, toucanets, and aracaris are sexually dimorphic. However most of the larger toucan species such as Black-billed, Toco, Keel-billed, etc. are not. Why would Noah be rescuing toucans anyway? Toucans are a New World species only. They do not exist in Asia or Africa.
I love when he searches the word ass lol. it's so something you'd do as a kid and laugh your ass off. even in a goofy mood as an adult it's someone we would do outta boredom
still waiting for the Quran games.
lol no
Any game where you blow up something
@Dcc
Lol.
We already have Quran game. Its called Hatred
Discorded nailed it.
6:47 So much for "Genesis does what Nintendon't."
im gonna use goodliest in my daily vocabulary from now on
Joust is one of my favorite games of all time. Every time it gets mentioned I get so excited.
"Part 3 is never as good"
Revenge of the Sith would like to have a word with you.
RotS was better than the other prequels but that’s still not saying much tbh...
South Park season 3 wants to know your location
Sonic 3 wants to talk to you
Arcana Heart 3, Digimon Tamers, Transformers: Cybertron, Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS, After War Gundam X, Army of Darkness, and Ultimate Marvel VS. Capcom 3: "Are we jokes to you?"
"Look at the cans on that toucan" 😂
Counterfeit comment alert.
How about Jesus Christ 64??
what like collecting bits of wood to make a cross? The final boss could be dragging the finished cross up a massive hill... Or wait is that an actual game...?
hawp reference
chris conrad
I read that. I laugh. I'm going to hell.
"I like the sheep sound effect..." xD
these reviews were all so great.
12:32 It would be Sahara (or some other desert) in night. Deserts are pretty freezing in the night. But have no idea where the ice comes from.
2:08 is just awesome.
Reading religious text out of context = Comedy.
Not sure how I missed this review. Always fun to watch an old one after thinking I seen them all
I love it when AVGN describes the backgrounds and coloring. :D
Ya know what I wonder? How did the word ass get used soo... curse like? I mean it is a word for donkey.
I mean, I don't know. Looking at the bible search result for 'dumb ass', it did look like they were talking about a person, so maybe ass always had a second bad connotation.
It could suggest some homophobic reasoning. I mean, the word for 'butt' became 'ass', because an ass was something you climbed and rode upon, and sodomy was very much a crime (still is in some places) back then, thought of as a dirty thing. But I could be overthinking it.
Mareepu True. I mean I've called a friend of mine quite some time ago an ass "You are an ass, you are an ass, Where is the ass, He's there THERE is the ass"
***** Well, calling someone a donkey would be kinda offensive anyways so?
Them anime references that no one got
It's just a corruption of "arse." That's what pretty much every other English-speaking country uses/says. Look it up, it's pretty interesting--"ass" just sorta became the American spelling and pronunciation.
That robot in Cosmos Cop is a fucking Gundam! :O
Guinea Pig Racer! Ikr
Anyone else rewatching old Avgn videos because the new thumbnails are so enticing?
This feels like I just came out yesterday I was so hyped when part 3 came out but damn it's really 7 years later
He should review ActRaiser next Christmas, thats a sort-of Bible game that's pretty damn good, in fact one of the best games in the SNES library IMO
True, but how much do these games really have to do with the bible? In the japanese version of Actraiser, the Master is simply called God and Tanzra is Satan, that's enough to make it biblical if you consider these games biblical
One of my avgn eps, i watch it way more often than is probably normal
2:02 I just calculated it would take anywhere from 10 - 57 AA batteries to read the entire bible.
goodliest sounds like something Ned Flanders would say
4:05 the carpet was kinda taken from mario 2
Part 3 isn't always lacking, Metal Gear Solid 3, Persona 3, Super Mario Bros 3, Devil May Cry 3, Grand Theft Auto 3, and Far Cry 3 were all great, sometimes better
2:26 Ah, this must be a Catholic bible
I think R* could bake a cool Adam/Eve game. Open world Eden. Get missions from talking animals, God, angels, and the devil. Fuck Eve in your down time. Use primitive weapons to fight off demons...
That's fuCKING RAD HOLY SHIT
holy fuck, this needs to exist
R* recently filed a trademark for a character name from the bible. Dead serious.look it up.
BullCityJimmy
Dude that'd be sick
4:45
No wonder Eve was fooled by the serpent. That is the friendliest looking snake I've ever seen.
Noah knows the gender of the animals because the females have a pink bow on their head.
This is a great Christmas episode of Avgn
Finally an AVGN episode I never saw before!!