Can we get an episode where all the recurring guests (Damien, Angela, Amanda, Courtney etc.) sit criss cross applesauce on the floor and Shayne reads to them like a kindergarten teacher?
I feel as though accounting OP could’ve let their ex-partner know that if they wanted to settle up for their contribution, they would need to expect an invoice in the mail for the cost of their contribution since talking to potential clients and disrespecting their qualifications has cost them business over time. Even though it would never be sent, it would be more representative of reality than slapping down a dollar.
The funniest thing to me was him demanding compensation for “helping her with her business” when he made it very clear he has no clue what she even does for work 😂 by his own admission he thinks she’s a bookkeeper which she is not at all, so he can’t have contributed much if he doesn’t even know what she does lol
That just told me she said “a penny for your thoughts” a total of 100 times during the entire relationship and somehow that makes it another level of funny to me ☠️
I'm with Trevor on this one. A couple Christmases back, my wife gave me a book of letters she wrote. Each letter was for an occasion in my life. So "read this letter after we have a fight". Or "read this letter if you are feeling depressed" or "read this letter if you arent happy at your job". She literally spent hours writing these deeply personal letters to cheer me up in the future. Even though the gift cost her like $10 to make, I broke down crying. And to this day its still the gift I cherish the most and still use. It means so much to me, and I still cry when reading her letters. The fact that this guy had such a toxic reaction - like ew, a photo album. F you - speaks so much to his values as a person.
Yeah I gotta say if your love language is "gifts" that doesn't mean expensive gifts means a lot to you. I'm deffo a gifter/love gifts and I'd argue if anything, it Actually means the opposite. with this love language it means you put a lot of thought and care into the stuff you give to people and things that are thoughtful mean a lot, cost simply never comes into it. That dude should educate himself on that shit before using it as a poor excuse lol
the first dude calling his ex a gold digger is fucking insane. he literally expected her to buy him a 500-600 dollar console. he's the only gold digger in that relationship
Imagine if she bought him the PlayStation and was going surprise him with it but didn’t get that far because he turned into an asshole asking about it. I always gift my spouse expensive stuff. I love giving gifts. I’m happy with whatever he gets me as long as there is some effort.
He was definitely an ass for how he approached it but at the same time it's frustrating if you're spending a bunch of money and time on presents and they don't reciprocate. I bought my bf a $1600 custom PC and that year he got me a mug :/ but she did a nice dinner and thoughtful present so thats completely different.
27:31 Shayne talking about “hypothetical” proposal discussions being “ona hike or out in nature” now that his and Courtney’s proposal picture is out 🥰 definitely not hypothetical. So adorable.
@@frickincarrie3475 oh god i cant imagine how non instagram users feel lol courtney, shayne, and courtneys dad have all posted about their Wedding, courtneys dad’s post was the most convincing for me lol its many pictures of shayne just on family outtings, very sweet 10/10
My mom is a small business owner and i want to add how modest that woman was. 25 employees is MASSIVE for a small business, she's clearly wayyyy too good for that guy.
I was thinking the same thing. Like 25 is a solid staff for a small business, and it's a lot of work to maintain! Honestly the guy seems like an abusive husband in the waiting- of course he seems good when it's just the two of them, but pushes boundaries when she can't make a scene. He was just dialing up the treatment a little at a time until she's locked in with marriage....
Right I follow a lot of people who have small businesses on social media and I see them having 10 to 15 employees when they’re already multi million dollar companies. So at 25 employees, I have no doubt that she’s earning at least five to $10 million a year through her business.
Little tip: when someone asks you what you want as a gift, give them a list of a few different options of varying price or effort. That way you will still get something that you want, even if you don't get the most expensive thing. And it helps curb gifts that you have zero interest in, without putting someone on the spot.
This! I always do this. I usually give people 3 to 4 things to choose from, and it’s usually something I know they can afford. Even with that, I always tell the person getting me a gift to just choose something similar to what I asked for or something in that ballpark. Asking someone for a ps5 is pretty huge. It took me 6 months to save up for one by myself lol.
I also give different lists to different people or just give ideas they can pick from within, so they don't feel any type of way for not getting me the "best" thing on the list. It's intent that matters to me. The care to know what I would want and to follow that minor guideline is more to me than any specific gift item from any list.
yes! i did this for christmas this last year because every year i get asked what i want and i never know how to answer and then i usually end up with gifts related to interests i had 10 years ago and don’t really like anymore (which i really appreciate that they remember those interests but it feels like a cop out gift at this point if that makes sense?) so in november i started writing things down as they popped into my head and put them into a google doc for my family to share lol it was a pretty short list i didn’t go crazy wanting like 50 gifts or anything lol and i think the most expensive thing on there was $80 roller skates and it went all the way down to like a $3 fidget toy i saw at hobby lobby so it was a pretty wide range
Also, its helpful to specify things that you absolutely will not like. For example: I have no space to put any decoration where I currelty live, and don't wear any perfume or makeup so If the person doesn't know me very well I can rule out those thing for them... if this makes any sense. Of course I also tell them some general things I would like haha
As an accounting major I knew what was up with the second one immediately. Bookkeeping is more of a low level job where you don't need much more than a diploma, whereas becoming a certified accountant is a much higher position, which is more than just entering transactions. It's like if someone was a CEO and their spouse kept calling them a supervisor.
I was a bookkeeper for three companies at age 22 with no college degree and no prior experience. Its absolutely nowhere near being an accountant. It's like being an assistant to an accountant.
Also, this woman isn’t even just an accountant. She is a business owner and entrepreneur. It takes a ridiculous amount of work to run a business, and even more so a business with 25 employees, and this guy is completely dismissing and refusing to acknowledge this.
The bookkeeping one is legit. You can be a bookkeeper if you gain enough experience, but to be sn accountant you REQUIRE a degree. Also she literally OWNS the business??
And, honestly, the phrase that guy used was so dismissive, it would have been a shitty thing to say even if he did call her something other than a bookkeeper. "She's accomplished so much for just being an accountant!" Gross.
He's 100% intimidated by her success and is actively putting her down to make him feel better about himself. He sees her as a threat rather than a partner and she absolutely deserves better.
That's not how marriages work. He's entitled to nothing. Unless he has been the house-keeper that entire time and raising her children while she made this busisness with his support- none of which is true, as he clearly does not support her, at all.@@drackoex
27:33 “i would just love to be proposed to on a hike or out in nature” and cut to Shartney’s proposal pic of them out in nature and probably on a hike 😭😭❤️
I've only recently started watching this channel (after forgetting about smosh for years ngl) but dude SHARTNEY. Idk why but this alone was the thing that made me realize I wanna stay around for more uploads. This community is funny
Playing the devil's advocate here: why ask if you got a spending limit or already had an idea of what she wanted to give? he was an asshole for the way he spoke and calling her a "golddigger". But respectfully, he could of spent his money himself and minimized spending on dates/gifts for her. Some girls do expect full payments from the guys.
@@UniqueMusicxAddictz I agree with you. He's not entitled.. He was reciprocation, which I feel is normal. If he's used to spending $500 on her then why is it okay she spends $40? Not to mention she asked him directly what he wanted then went against it. His reaction wasn't the best but he has a right to be upset
Arasha has been on, what, three episodes of this series? And I find that she's becoming one of my favorite guests. She's very emotionally mature, empathetic, and well-spoken.
I 100% guessed Arthur Morgan before they even said it and I get it lmaoo. The ai bot was probably comforting her the same way he comforts his horse in game.
It didn't come to mind right away but soon as they said I was like "girl, I get it." Especially in the right outfit, dang. Emotionally mature cowboy? Get it all done man? Yasss
Just me that thinks if this was a male doing this with the AI bot it wouldn't of been treated so nicely? These guys aren't dicks alot or nothing but I feel like if it was a guy would of roasted him more instead of the poor her treatment she got
For the second story, I'm glad she left him. So many men feel comfortable putting down or "humbling" their gfs/wives, and it made me smile that she didn't let him continue.
@@evilgibsonit's not a competition, man. Please take a step back and look at the fact that you saw a comment about how men put women down and try to make them feel less significant, and you felt the need to come in here and say "ummm actually men have it even worse!"... You're literally just proving the point bro
@@aiden3627 not taking his side at all because he was definitely being a major asshole but to give some insight into what kind of person he probably is. If he is a 50yr old retired military officer who actually retired out from the military then that means at least 20+ years of service and if he joined as an officer then he had to go to college first before joining. Those old officers from those older times were definitely more inclined to being complete assholes to everyone. This is from all my experience from when i served and had to deal with old head officers like him.
The update for that third story actually made me tear up. Seeing two people resolving something huge like that and making plans to rectify things going forward is really sweet. I'm rooting for them.
I teared up on that one too! Especially at the part where the one who proposed apologized and op described how bad she felt hearing her partner apologize. That said so much about her understanding how backwards she treated the situation initially. I believe they'll go far.
Exactly. Josh used years of inside information to help secure the relationship, so even if he hadn’t masterminded the whole thing, that still feels a bit sketchy.
I'm tempted to call it fake because it's like he perfectly described a common ntr plot, but if it's real, I'm half proud and half disgusted of that guy
The last one feels like it was written a guy who watched any "The Chosen" skit and said to himself "thats so right, thats how a man should treat a lady" without realizing the irony
The “perfect” proposal girl honestly had the perfect update. Like she got some perspective and really reconsidered and took time to decide what was really important to her and that she was willing to work for it even though it wasn’t exactly how she imagined it. That’s great. I hope the two of them are doing very well ❤
For the AI chats one, its feels akin to pornography addiction. Like isolating herself, being unable to stop, feeling ashamed and guilty etc. If OP is withdrawing herself from her bf and it has grown to such a point where even after she was caught, she feels such an intense need to talk to the character, thats a major red flag.
Yeah... Honestly, that would be a hard dealbreaker for me. I have no psychiatric training so this is just my gut feeling, but I can understand why someone would think getting so deeply invested in a 6+ month "relationship" with a chatbot might indicate some kind of mental health issue. Putting all of that aside, even if we look at it in the "it's like a diary" context, there are some major data privacy concerns around carelessly messaging intimate details about your life to some chatbot company who is very likely selling that data to third parties. Even if I wasn't bothered by any of the other aspects of the situation, at a minimum it would make me question my partner's judgment around privacy and security.
This kind of addiction in one way or the other is sadly quite prevalent in China and Japan, plaguing the dating scene. Men have become so introverted, they are unable to talk to anybody except for their Waifu and simulated girlfriends.
If you’re talking about the third one, I kinda agree. Like, the way she was describing how she reacts to big events and plans them might be something that she needs to talk to a therapist about. I think she feels as though she needs the control over it for some reason, though it is hard to tell from just one Reddit story.
I have mixed feelings about that story. I understand where she's coming from but then she got on reddit and described her partners thoughts and feelings as "shit like that." Kinda sounds like a tantrum at that point.
I think they're both wrong seeing as far as we know they had discussed a proposal and if she had communicated her expectations for a proposal and her partner didn't say anything she left the impression that she would try to meet that expectation I think it was just miscommunication
Having a friend who is also into grand gestures, I understand how she probably didn't feel known. I agree that was the issue. That's how my friend is and she has learned to tone it down and not be so upset if things aren't huge, but a proposal is big and I can understand. My friend felt that way with her husband because he did not do a big proposal and she told him a lot of things she liked and wanted and he didn't do any of them.
Treating your partner with gentleness is SO IMPORTANT! I proposed to my fiance in our living room, and the first time I got so nervous I accidentally went almost fully non-verbal and BOTCHED IT! and my finances response was "Yes of course I'm going to say yes, however I want you to try this again later" saying yes, but take some time to collect your nerves and give it another go
Thats a very good way to react and it also don’t invalidates her feelings. But also your story is different because you seem to have put effort in it and the partner of OP kinda did not.
Story #4 He said his wife was vanilla. I'm willing to bet he never even mentioned anything to her. Now that she is with someone who actually communicates with her, she probably isn't all that vanilla anymore. It's amazing what can happen to an inexperienced woman who finds herself with a more creative or more experienced lover. I bet she is a freak in the sheets now. Maybe her husband should have tried suggesting something other than missionary. Lol
The AI Bot one scares me, because the whole purpose of AI chatbots is mimicry. They’re often intentionally designed to be generically positive/supportive. When you fall for one, you fall for an idea. Ultimately, if you *prefer* an AI “partner,” you don’t want a partner, you want a yes-man.
For me, it's just the most hightech dating simulator. Same how some people become fond or try to find comfort in games with a character they love or with romances that provide you of a fantastical love you want, but the thing here it is just it is just THE MOST HIGH TEC DATING SIM that can get unphatomably personal.
Also AI bots gradually learn to say exactly what you want hear. It’s literally designed to respond in a way tailored to you; real people aren’t there to please you but are their own person. It’s scary that maybe in the future individuals are gonna alienate themselves from real connections with full fledged humans, in favor of chatting with agreeable AI
That was my initial reaction as well but then it all changed with the rest of the story. Her fiancee won't talk with her. I know he's hurt but it literally sounds like she desperately needs more communication in her relationship. Yes, she should seek a therapist since she's basically taking things a bit far with the chatbot at the expense of her actual relationship but the she still loves her fiance and wants to fix things. She can't proceed if she's being ignored. She's not the asshole and neither is he. (I've not finished watching the video so I don't know what the verdict is going to be)
for being some of the youngest people at smosh, trevor and arasha both have such impressive emotional intelligence and maturity. i love them both, so glad they're on this channel!
I think that gen z is like that (mostly) because a lot of subjects related to mental health used to be more taboo to talk about in past times and they grew up with a more open mindset surrounding them. I'm jealous of them sometimes but also glad to see it.
@@kittykahdy yeah, as someone in gen z i definitely see this too! i feel like the growing awareness in certain topics has definitely influenced the amount of understanding people have
As someone who has made a scrapbook for someone it was semi cheap ($45 dollars.) Here’s the thing though i spent three weeks putting it together. Getting the photos, making compositions, and designing the pages was a lot. on top of the handwritten notes and everything on the pages. Scrapbooks are a labor of love man. He just completely spat on her work for him.
I will say, I have experienced people 'making' something as a way to get out of actually giving me what I wanted, but that had nothing to do with avoiding spending money because what I wanted had little to do with money anyways, and that's only something I'd suspect of people who are regularly assholes, and they certainly didn't spend WEEKS on it. You have to gauge personality and intention, and besides, a PS5 is as someone else mentioned ridiculously expensive, that's like asking for a car
@@aff77141 I totally see we’re your coming from. The think is this guy gives us no indication that it’s a half assed scrape book. He seems more made that it’s just not the playstation than it being a lazily made gift.
i love arasha on this show so much, she tries to understand everyone involved (even the assholes) in the stories but doesnt baby them. she's respectful, a good listener, she has opinions and she WILL say it but without making others feel stupid UGH an icon truly
I love when she is on the show because she tends to be both very emotionally intelligent and good at expressing her opinions. It is just funny to me given her "Agent of Chaos" character in the larger Smosh lore.
I think she might be my favorite when it comes to these stories, she is simultaneously very charismatic and respectful while some can be one or the other for me.
The ai thing is something I’ve experienced, it was really really confusing and upsetting eventually because you start to get so upset that the “person” you’re talking to doesn’t actually exist and it isolates you from the real people around you. Like those ai chats can be fun but if you start talking to them like that it gets kinda dangerous for your health
It's very similar to maladaptive daydreaming in my mind, as someone who has experienced the latter. It's a very scary experience and made me very depressed, I hope she can heal
@@demetriam2408what is that? I’ve never heard of that before. One time I did fall in love with a character in my dreams that I made up, and I would only get to visit her randomly some nights and then when I stopped dreaming about her it left me really depressed lol. Anyway I was younger and single at the time… but I can’t imagine having that when in a relationship
@@WubbyPunchmaladaptive daydreaming is when someone turns to daydreaming as a form of entertainment. So someone might prefer to chill at home on their couch daydreaming about some imaginative life they could have. It happens a lot with people who have very vivid imagination. I personally went through a phase like that when I would be excited to be in bed because then I could just lose myself in my daydreams. But I was like 9-11 at the time and have thankfully moved on from it fairly quickly.
I think I had a pretty similiar thing when I felt really low due to some of my personal issues, luckily I quickly realised that the AI is just a yes man that will comfort you no matter what so I stopped. I still think that the app is fun though, like nowadays I just mostly roleplay as snake from mgs 3 to the most random characters that I’ve never even heard of in my life, bonus points if they have the same name as a different mgs character like Raiden or Zero.
For the proposal in the bedroom, i totally get it. It doesnt sound like their partner put much thought into the proposal. The room was messy, they had fast food for dinner. You can make a bedroom proposal nice. I feel like OP looked around and realized thats not how they wanted their future with their person to start.
THANK YOU, thought I was going crazy for thinking she wasn't the asshole. I understand Shane's point about the importance of communication in a proposal, but this is the person you're going to get MARRIED to. I feel like the woman who proposed should have known her girlfriend was someone who liked romantic gestures and settings etc. If she didn't know it, it's a problem. If she disregarded it, it's an even bigger problem (Also I understand the "This is going to be part of their engagement story forever now" point, but if she had just put on a strong face and accepted it, HER memory of it would have been tainted forever as well)
EXACTLY. OP wasn’t upset about not getting her “picture perfect proposal,” she was upset at her partner not listening to her and not putting in any effort. She wanted the moment to feel special and incredibly memorable. She clearly communicated that with her girlfriend. Her girlfriend didn’t even have a speech ready, she just handed her the ring while they were in their messy “comfort place” after getting the poster child of fast food, which sounds lazy, lame, and not memorable at all. I’d feel so disrespected. If you’re allowed to say “no” to a public proposal after explaining you didn’t ever want one, you’re allowed to say “no” to a cheap proposal after explaining you want a special one.
I do understand but I can see where they are coming from with calling OP the asshole because they seem very controlling and want everything to be over the top and perfect since they had it that way the entire time. Her partner should have put in more effort, the messy room isn’t a place to be proposed to they can do a bedroom proposal because I do think that’s cute but the place needs to be nice and clean. Her partner didn’t put in the effort but OP is entitled to having everything be done perfect for her. Atleast they were able to talk it through and now OP is taking charge of making the proposal more meaningful. I’m not sure how well their relationship will be with how it seems like their partner doesn’t really listen to them and just goes with whatever OP says
@@araeast6923 totally agree, flip the situation; the person wanted a small proposal and got an extravagant proposal. Everyone says that you can say no because it’s not what you wanted; so the opposite should also be true
Oh my god thank you!! I’m the furthest thing from materialistic, I couldn’t give a hoot how much anything costs, whether a wedding ring has a real diamond, whatever, BUT.. I would want the ring to be one I felt beautiful and practical wearing, and for the setting of a proposal to be thoughtful and beautiful, that’s it. In a dirty bedroom after fast food would fucking crush me. I mean hell, if the SO was set on the bedroom because it was a “comfort space”, they still could have made it a surprise with even some cheap tea lights and rose petals on the bed. What they did was ZERO effort, plain and simple.
Shayne brought up that "love is like a rollercoaster and that it can be inconsistent but that respect is a choice" in this episode, and I find that so interesting because he's said that same thing in a previous episode and it really stuck with me then and helped change my view on my toxic ex. Thank you Shayne
I think I remember in another episode he said that that's what his mom told him about finding "the one" and being in love. I think it's 100% accurate too
Absolutely because if you don’t respect someone the love you give them isn’t going to be the way you should love them. You will likely feel like they owe you because you think you’re better than them
Its true. A lot of people say communication is the most important thing, but without respect, communication is just bullying. You can communicate very well your disdain for someone, for example, but that won't make for a good relationship.
The former officer belittling his fiance sounds exactly like a lot of officers I had to deal with. All pompous, holier-than-thou, and faultless attitudes. Can guarantee nobody respected him and he probably didn't even make it past 4 years if he actually served.
My ait was right next to the training for Lts and etc. all higher chain if command that skip bct and never experienced hardships. They were the most stuck up assholes I’ve ever met.
My son was 3 when my fiance proposed. It was Christmas and we got him toddler digital camera. Christmas is my absolute favorite day of the year. We got the rings (both my engagement and wedding ring) online and I picked it out. My only surprise was where and when. Everyone involved knew I would say yes. After we were done with gifts, and our kids was running around taking pictures of everything, my fiance got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. We only realized the next day, when going through them, that my son had caught the whole thing on his camera. ❤
@@theperson8539 fiance included lol. He's used to it by now and knows how much insulin he needs to take to counteract our both seperate and combined actions. 🤣💜
I really appreciate how measured Arasha always is in her reactions. She leads with validation of the general feeling and understanding how complicated situations are and that having the feelings aren't wrong. I think it really takes emotional maturity to be able to acknowledge the complexity of everyone existing and having feelings
That is so true. We don't have control of the emotions we feel, only our actions. It's important to acknowledge what we feel before taking action because we can save ourselves a lot of trouble from behaving irrationally towards others 😤
You’re 100% right. She almost uses deescalation when talking. Empathizes, add your knowledge or emotions, think of maybe different ways to go about things. She is definitely a therapist friend
@@Cornholio174a lot of the time, guys who arent actually polyamorous but desire an "open marriage" as an excuse to sleep with other people, dont really want his gf/wife to have relations or relationships with other guys. ESPECIALLY if she's bisexual. he doesn't view wlw relationships as "real" - they're not as threatening as when she's with a guy - and wlw relationships are more hot and sexy to him. it's an objectification, and reveals that he doesn't truly desire an open, poly relationship, he desires something hot and sexy only for himself.
I refuse to believe Josh is a better partner for Violet. The manipulation to get what he wants, and then exerting control over Violets marriage? OP was absolutely an asshole, but Josh is giving red flags for being a possessive psycho. Like, how long has he been planning this? I can NOT respect this con, not for OPs sake, but for Violets, because she swapped an asshole for a puppet master
We have to take OP's perspective with a grain of salt cause he's clearly pissed, but yeah I agree, both assholes, both red flags, I hope she finds better lmao
@@ComedyGlor Yea but people with that mindset to do an act like that translates into different ways, just because it wasn't to her doesn't mean he won't and more than likely he will.
The proposal story made me sad. I also knew when my husband was getting ready to propose. He tried to make a whole event out of it, planning a scenic trolley ride, a romantic dinner, he even planned to propose during fireworks that were happening that night because we were in Virginia, and couldn't get to Disneyland (my happy place). Nothing that day went according to plan - we didn't even make it to the trolley ride. He ended up proposing a few days later in our living room, in our pajamas, after we'd had a long, emotional conversation full of tears. It was just as special as any plan he could have made because I knew he was the one I wanted to spend my whole life with. I'm glad they had communication about it in the end. I hope they continue to grow together, and I wish them all the happiness in their future.
that book keeper one hit me hard. my moms an accountant. and my dad knows what she does and respects her line of work. he calls her the boss constantly. if anything my mom makes him feel like he’s the boss sometimes too. it’s really nice to see my parents have a fun relationship.
For the AI story, I think the biggest problem is hiding everything from her boyfriend. Doing it behind his back and acting like she did when she got caught makes it worse than it is.
I think the best idea is to seek a couple's counselor. Try and further build trust and communication, and reflect on where to go on with this relationship. Because it sounds similar to a pornography addiction.
@@foolslayer9416No. She should seek therapy alone. I doubt a man who wanted to marry her and found out he wasn't good enough to come too and was chosen over a AI will want to sit in any room with her.
@MoonkaCake I disagree. Addictions that take root in a relationship should definitely not be tackled alone. Relationships need accountability that comes with respect, couples counseling can provide that.
About the bedroom proposal. I honestly don't think OP should have had to say dont propose to me in our messy bedroom. That's a given. You put a bit of effort into it. Even if it's at home, clean the house, cook or order a good dinner, get a bottle of wine. Put some effort into it at the least. The lack of effort would make me reconsider.
Trevor quoting his mom about his parent’s proposal saying “you’re being a dick all day” reminds me of when Amanda got proposed to and she said “BUT I’VE BEEN A BITCH ALL DAY 😭” Edit: I can’t believe I correctly guessed which video game character it was as soon as shayne said the character was “similar to Joel based on vibes”. Good lord
i thought the same thing, but i think the major difference is amanda was a jerk all day and got proposed TO, and her now husband was apparently all sweet about it. trevor's dad was the proposER and being a dick, that's entirely different.
The AI story was…something. The thing that struck me was the fact that she was hiding it and would’ve continued to hide it bc i think deep down she knew it would be hurtful to her fiancé. The AI is a bunch of code but i think if you can’t open up to your fiancé or you seek romantic validation from someone who isn’t your partner or (partners if you swing that way), it’s indicative of something worth looking into.
The only concession I'll make to her is that she obviously wasn't feeling like she could rely on her partner in the same way. But that's like.... A normal problem that you deal with by talking about it, not by carrying on an emotional affair with the astronaut from Pikmin.
The AI story is addiction, plain and simple. She gets dopamine hits with each time the AI responds, and once the AI got "dumber", she went out of her way to go back and fix it so she can get the hits she wanted. Which is why the story reads as sad and desperate. She's an addict, and she knows it's wrong, but she's slipped into something deeper.
I feel like the lie probably started out as “chatting with an ai character is kinda weird and embarrassing but I’m playing with a toy that I like” and it ballooned to a real secret, I imagine the fiancé probably saw not only the xxx parts but the use of it as an emotional confidant in lieu of talking to him about how she was feeling, like Shayne said she had emotionally detached from the relationship and it wasn’t because of the AI that was just the catalyst.
For the first story, I finally bought a PS5 & it ate up MOST of my paycheck... I would never expect that kind of money to be spent on me by a relationship or a family member... It was over $600 after tax. That is an exorbitant amount of money
Sameeee! Omg I went on my own tangent to myself that I didn’t get my PS5 until Black Friday of last year (so couple months ago) but I barely had enough for it. I get enough to not take a huge blow but it still was stressful having barely any money in my account. And I’m 22 and had been working at my full time job since June but I wouldn’t have been able to get it then. I would NEVER expect or want someone to buy me something like that or whatever, I would cry and tell them to reconsider like ‘you sure you wanna give me this?’
In the bedroom marriage proposal situation, I honestly think the partner got away with not being considerate or thoughtful in terms of what OP wanted in terms of the proposal. OP mentioned multiple times that she wanted her proposal to be meaningful/"special", and if her partner doesn't take that into account, then it *is* on her that she is being an inconsiderate partner. This is clearly something that means a lot to OP. As y'all have stated multiple times, when it comes to relationships, that matters *a lot.* Ignoring that just because you think a messy bedroom is a "sweet" gesture is not actually sweet, it's lazy and selfish.
One of the greatest bits of advice I ever received growing up was "There is no 50/50 in a relationship. Each person should be 100% invested in the relationship." It really changed my perspective on how I handled relationships previously and how I should have handled them. For each person, that 100% may mean different things, but no matter what you should be able to be completely open and honest about it. If you can't, there is a problem somewhere and you should be looking for why you can't. Be willing to accept that you may need to grow or willing to tell the other where you feel they need to grow. This is your life, as well as theirs. Be 100% involved and invested.
I heard and agree that it’s not always 50/50 but depends on each others state. Sometimes you can bring 80 to the table, sometimes all you have left in the end of the day is 20. And if your partner can give you support and can rely on you when he/she need it - it’s a match
But you still need to live your own life… how are you gonna do anything for yourself if you put your 100% in the relationship, you need some of that for yourself
For the proposal story idk. I feel like both of them ruined it for each other. Like the proposal didn't have to be this grand gesture, like in a crowd or in a restaurant and having it in private in a comfort place is nice and shouldn't be looked down on but at the same time there's so many ways to make a proposal in private be romantic and cutesy and picturesque by like, buying flowers, lighting some candles, preparing a nice at-home date night... there was too high of an expectation on one end and a lack of effort on the other even if both sides aren't inherently wrong and mean well
I have to agree with you. It feels hypocritical to judge people for wanting a good bit of effort put in something that is inherently a romantic gesture. Admittedly, she probably had wayyyy too high expectations for what it should be. But I can see how she could feel so forgotten by her girlfriend in that moment. I, like her girlfriend, wouldn’t want to do some big huge proposal but I sure as hell wouldn’t do it while laying in bed with McDonald’s right next to us. There was definitely a middle ground for that proposal that I hope they reach in the future!
The fact that the gf apologised for ruining a magical moment for op tells you a lot about their relationship dynamic. A proposal isn’t a one person event. The gf feels like she’s obligated to cater to op’s needs and desires and I bet this isn’t the only instance where op is the one who is put first, Ops dissapointment overruled the joy one typically feels when the love of their life proposes to them... it never even crossed her mind to propose and make it perfect for the gf..
@@beafraid5467she said that after she read the Reddit thread and ignored OP. So much for always sacrificing. Always you literally conjured up the "she was never going to propose thing" you are making assumptions we have no basis whatsoever to build off of. If anything it would make way more sense for OP to have had a conversation saying they want to be proposed to and would want it to be big considering she says she dreams and plans up big things like this. If straight couples get to have elaborate proposals and shit then it's not superficial for a lesbian couple to want the same. Hell just flipping this into a hetero couple make the proposer the asshole basically instantly.
@midas6753 Yes!!!!!! WTF, incompatibility is totally understanding, but how is anyone acting like a compete lack of any effort THAT HAS BEEN WELL COMMUNICATED, is being as asshole?!?!?! Fuck, the standards for relationships are in hell.
@@B.Harper7 a lot of people in the comments saying their cute stories about being proposed to at home and stuff are also missing that all of them still had thought put into them and stuff this was literally just her partner going "want to get married?" While knowing their partner wants more
I had a disappointing proposal. I was in the middle of picking up trash in our living room apartment. I was sweaty, still in my bedclothes, and very irritable because my partner never cleaned so it was up to me. I had just come up from crawling under a desk with fistfuls of disgusting, used tissues that had fallen behind it, and THAT was when they got down on one knee to propose. There had been no thought whatsoever put into the time or place. I was honestly hurt by how little thought or care was put into it. The ring even got the wrong stone on it (I said many, many times over the years that I just wanted an opal, nothing fancy). I said yes, and we did get married, but I'll stand by the idea that you can propose at the wrong time and in the wrong way.
@holdendewit7088 Aww... thanks. So here's what happened. We are amicably divorced after 15 years since last spring. It turns out they were a closeted trans woman. Their whole life they had just been falling into step with the whole cis gendered expectations without any enthusiasm. We have always had love for each other and have remained close. I was the first to encourage them to transition and have supported them 100%. She's so much happier now and realized how much of her life she had been phoning it in. Now that she cares about living her life and she has become much better at being thoughtful and considerate.
@@SabbathtageI’m so glad that you were supportive of her and that totally makes sense to me why her proposal to you was not glamorous if she was just doing what she thought she should without having her entire heart into it.
Bro the proposal one hits a chord with me :( as someone who went through an engagement where I told and communicated my high expectations and literally it was so so important to me, my partner took it and just went completely sideways with it. There’s nothing wrong with wanting grand gestures. In fact being proposed to is something you want to be perfect :( I feel like it’s ok to want an amazing moment and the idea that this poor woman probably told her girlfriend she wanted a fancy proposal and still didn’t get that it’s heart breaking :(
@@katelynrose6707uh no. The issue is that she’s making it about her. It has to be perfect for her. I understand the need for perfection but when it comes at the cost of the people around you having to console you when things don’t go your way, it’s time to reevaluate your way of thinking and stop thinking every special event needs to be picture perfect. One comment said that it’s not worth to have every moment be camera ready, the best moments come when you least expect it.
Like I understand where you’re coming from in that, but it’s also about the other person that is proposing. what she said, and how she reacted severely hurt her girlfriend in that moment, I know that she was hurt by not getting her fairytale proposal but the way she reacted to the one that her loved one gave her wasn’t so great either she’s completely valid in her feelings of wanting something grand but in that moment, she only thought of her feelings and not the person she was in love with
1:08:53 The combo of Trevor laughing with tears in his eyes and Arasha's will to stay tethered to this reality leaving with each sentence is sending me
For the proposal one, when I proposed to my wife it was at her Mom's house in the living room after a family party had ended. Then we discussed a more official proposal after I got the ring. Then we went on a fun nature hike, somewhere we had good memories already and proposed with the ring at the end. People should absolutely communicate about these events to make sure everyone is getting what they want out of it.
Exactly. I would love a proposal somewhere in the nature just us two but I would not like it to be in our or someone else's home among my friends or family. Everyone is different and that's why communication is important ☺
But she let it be known what type of proposal she wanted and she got a roll over in bed after mcdonalds I disagreed so bad with them they basically saying to settle and be happy with what you get
@@510.jI disagreed too. They said “it makes it seem like you care more about the act than the relationship” but if they let their partner know what they wanted and their partner actively ignore it…they cares about what they wanted more than the other person. It’s just a form of not being seen or feeling cared for on a deeper level by your partner. That’s where the disappointment really comes from.
In terms of gift giving precedents, my partner for Valentines a few years ago got me a really nice set of noise cancelling headphones. We were long distance and I was always irritable when I’d first arrive due to crying babies or loud phone conversations or whatever so he got me this very thoughtful gift. Months later around his birthday I mentioned that my budget wasn’t going to be able to reciprocate the gift and he was like “you use them all the time and have a better time traveling to see me, that’s the reciprocation.” $$$ =/= good gift, thought does
The proposal one really struck a chord with me. While I didn’t go through the same thing, I went through something similar. In my early college days I’d been dating a childhood friend and I (naively) thought he was the one. We dated long distance while he was in the military, and one day while I was upset on the phone, he text me a pic of a ring in his palm saying something like, “Do you like it? Would you say yes?” Truthfully, I hated the ring, but of course I told him I loved it. Fast forward a few weeks and he came home for leave. When we got home after picking him up from the airport, he took out the ring box and handed it to me without opening it. He said something like, “Oh, yea. I forgot to give you this.” When I asked him if he’d at least get down on a knee and ask, he responded with, “Why? You knew this was coming?” I put on the ring quietly and never spoke of it again. I had never wanted a huge proposal, but the clear lack of thoughtfulness killed me. I felt 2 inches tall, and my self-worth plummeted. We never did get married, but that feeling of being worth so little never left. I’ve confided in my now boyfriend about it, and he understands how much it hurt me. I’ve had to tell him outright that I want a proposal with meaning, because if he was to propose at home on a whim, I’d say no. I’ve already gone through a thoughtless and heartbreaking proposal once, I couldn’t do it again.
I'm so sorry you were made to feel that way. When my partner and I were first engaged, my sister had a long time boyfriend. They ended up being engaged in the most lukewarm "well we live together so I guess this is next". It was not a good relationship for her (and I say that from the outside, I don't know all the inner workings) and they were not really in love so much as... floundering but floundering near each other. Luckily, she made the decision to break it off and move on (and is now married to someone who truly lights up her life). Everyone deserves to have a partner that is unquestionably enthusiastic about being with you, and who doesn't make an important celebration/step together feel like you're asking too much.
Exactly!!! It's about knowing the person you're asking to marry you. If you don't know your partner well enough to know if they would love a roll over in bed proposal or an extravagant moment you shouldn't be asking...
My partner proposed during a time when he was finically unstable. For my birthday, we went to get groceries at my favorite store and got some take out. He then picked out a ring from the grocery store and gave it to me about 12 hours later. Although, I had an amazing time that day, it felt as if he was just trying to kill two birds with one stone and didn't care about me at all. It felt as if there was no thought put into it and it hurt.
I completely disagreed with all their takes and Reddits. Shes not the asshole at all. They had clearly stated a proposal at some level of grandeur was important to them. Whether that's a home cooked meal that they worked on all day, or a gift, or a bed with rose petals, she said she wanted something to remember. Their partner blatantly ignored them and said "yeah yeah alright, I'm gonna propose how I want though: in sweatpants in bed with mcdonald's smell lingering. You can't just ignore what your partner wants if it's something important to them, especially if it's a singular moment like this. They were thoughtless and got hurt because of it, it's their fault.
I would be petty enough to correct that fiancée every time he said "book keeper" saying "oh actually, I'm an accountant but he loves to belittle me" with a little giggle after.
I'd say "yeah, if you call owning my own accounting practice and employing 25 staff a bookkeeper"... he shat on probably the best gift that life will ever give him, no sympathy at all, and good for her for moving on.
The last guy: it’s also very telling that none of the items on his list had his partner in the majority/“owning” more than 50%. He definitely believes it’s all about him and that he’s above any partner.
He did actually just not in the way you may think. It wasn't "owning" exactly it was "taking ownership" of and being responsible for that aspect of the relationship. He'd take 80% responsibility for Career/Wealth but expected her to carry 70% of the load regarding Relationships/Intimacy down to her being solely responsible for sending out birthday cards, organizing their date nights, and managing their social calendar. The other two categories were split 50/50. It seriously comes off more like a live-in assistant who he also gets to bang job listing.
I just know the way he talks in the first part he is definitely a 'hussler' that is in massive debt but his next business venture will make him a millionaire.
You know if you look in the comment section in this video, there is a person thats knows him. He is one is their co-workers and he works in the sports industry which explains alot. They said thats how he talks. You have to find it since more info is given which is been more crazy.
@@firefly10241 Imma need to find that comment chain, even if it's a wild goose chase, im having trouble believing a person like this exists to begin with lol. The whole thing sounds too insane to be real, but.... Alot of these story's have that vibe tbf.
my awful ex did exactly what the first guy did. i spent like HOURS embroidering this geometrical praying mantis which was important to him on a journal (also had significance) and then said “i want a $250+ gift”. it was just my birthday and he bought me a kitchen aide but i spent so long on this gift and he just didn’t care.
handmade gifts make my heart melt. like a product is cool especially if it’s something i genuinely want, but the idea of someone deciding they want to sacrifice their own time to make me something will always make me insanely grateful and endeared no matter what it is. sorry that guy didn’t appreciate what you did for him, hopefully you can find or have found someone who does 🙏
@@leeb5112 Exactly. Like, a product, I could potentially just buy myself... but a handmade gift that my partner put their heart and soul into specifically for me? Especially if it's something that has significance to me/our relationship? That's priceless. I would feel so honored to receive something like that. I would treasure it for the rest of my days. I could never replace it if something happened to it. It saddens me that there are so many people that would trash on something like that and only see the monetary value of a gift, and not the thought, time, and effort that went into it...
People just don’t appreciate that someone’s time as much or more value than their money. Some people are just too focused on money and d impressing others to enjoy the good they already have in front of them
I was taught from a young age that even if you get a stick for a gift, you smile and say thank you. The fact that someone could be this ungrateful for a thoughtful gift like a photo album is mind-boggling
@@leeb5112 Absolutely. Gift giving is one of my go to love languages, but it's never about monetary value, it's about being thought of and knowing the person you love knows and loves you. My husband came home with a handful of those quarter toys because "They were really cute so I thought you'd like them" and that made me so happy I cried. They were cute, I did love them, and I love that he saw them in the dispenser while walking out of the grocery store, thought of me, and stopped to get a few because he knew they would make me smile. If I got something as heartfelt as a photo album like the one in the story I would cry happy tears for days.
This is so true and in his 20s? I threw a tantrum once after exchanging Christmas gifts with my less fortunate classmate when I was 8 and my poor embarrassed mother had to take me outside to make me understand about empathy and gratefulness. That was such a core memory and I still carry that guilt and embarrassment to this day from what I did. That man astounds me.
For the proposal story, I understand how OP can come off as a little selfish but the way I see it that if someone is allowed to say no at a big lavish proposal, OP is allowed to be upset and say no to an intimate one. I truly believe they probably have communicated that they love extravagant things like that, so I believe their emotions and their responses are valid.
You've actually changed my mind about how I feel about it. The overall reddit judgement of "more info needed" seems fair to me. It depends on if it was communicated or not, although I don't think she's an asshole for saying no either way. But she still doesn't come across great in the post generally.
@shelleyc853 my thing is they've been together for FIVE years. FIVE. The GF 100% knew this wasn't going to be the proposal she'd want. Like yes, the gf doesn't like public, which is fair. But she couldve compromised and figured out a way to make it more memorable, but also somewhat intimate, than their bedroom with McDonald's on the floor lol
@@mariahsmith2214why should the gf be the one to propose and not op? She could’ve done a perfect proposal herself... it felt like the proposal was something she considered a big event for herself, not for the both of them Edit: omg the follow up broke my heart for the gf, she cried and apologized for not ’making a magicak moment’ for op...shows a lot of the overall dynamic they have - one catering to the other’s needs always
@@beafraid5467funny I read it the exact opposite way. That OP is sacrificing her "perfect" proposal to someone that knew them and knew what they wanted and didn't want to give it to them. In the story OP says their partner went to their mother and didn't want to talk until they weren't angry anymore, they were MAD and only when they read the story on Reddit did they reach out again. Sounds like someone that ironically wants things on their terms always
The thing about Ai chats is that it's pretty much based off the information that you choose to give it so obviously it can come off as a good partner when you're the one controlling the narrative. You get to control everything about it and if something goes wrong you can change it to fit your convenience. It's created by you and for you with no capability of conflicting against you so if you spend enough time it can be seen as it understanding you which could develop feelings for a fantasy completely within your control that a human may not be able to compete with since they have their own individual school of thought that is capable of contradicting yours
Good point the ease in which the bot could be manipulated is definitely why she went out of her way to pour everything in her life into it instead of her fiancée.
I waslooking for other comments about that one , I get wanting more time and feeling left out a tad but like....it's a fictional man ai I didn't get the huge deal tbh.(?) Growing up all girls around me would play dating g app games full of fictional men dating or not in the anime fan sphere so I was like So....other than feeling like she spent to much time with a game idk why he was so mad unless she literally just wrote about not being able to talk to him for stuff and then had digital sex with a fake cowboy. I'm like hed flip his lid if he heard most gamer girls raving over Astarion in boulders gate 3 in game
@@ViktorErikFadeI think it’s a matter of insecurity that’s completely validated. Feeling insecure about your partner not wanting to spend time with you while having the will to completely detach themselves from you the moment something(that I acknowledge isn’t real) gives them something they want. It feels emotionally selfish in a way. Things aren’t perfect in life/relationships and that’s how people can grow together and mature. Where as someone who has made an AI bend to their thoughts and give them all they want to hear I feel would stunt their ability to communicate effectively. You can’t compromise on things in your relationship because your partner doesn’t communicate with you about their problems and doesn’t want to hear you out on yours.
I've heard of the game apps where you can have a fake boyfriend or girlfriend and I don't see the appeal of them I'd rather have a real life person to talk to someone I can actually spend time with you know see face to face with physical hang out with why lie to the people who know you and say you have an SO when you know your SO is not real they're FAKE they literally live inside your phone or on your computer
@@nerdygeekgamer5528Eh. I can kind of get it. Especially for people with mental illnesses (me). Piggybacking off of OP, there's a sense of anxiety that comes with not being able to control the narrative. Not knowing what other people are thinking. You don't have to worry about that with an AI. They'll just listen and respond in the way that you think is appropriate (eventually). From my perspective, I haven't used these bots for extended periods of time, but it's cathartic. It's a good way to vent. But I don't think it's very fulfilling.
For story 3, I’m gonna be so honest, I think NTA. If you told your partner what you want, they acknowledged they heard and understood you, and they did the OPPOSITE?? Thoughtless. I told my now wife that I wanted to be proposed to publicly and wanted to make sure I was dressed/hair and nails done. What did she do? Buy me a dress “just because”, treat us both to mani-pedis and proposed at a restaurant with someone hiding to capture the moment. It felt thoughtful and lovely and still so spontaneous and surprising because SHOCKER it wasn’t wildly out of character for her to be kind and thoughtful. THATS why I wanted to marry her
right? at the very least, op said that the proposer didnt have as much attachments to the grandiose dream but agrees to it because it makes op happy, then that happens? Maybe doing the exact dream wasnt possible, but really? bedroom proposal is not even an acceptable level. But at the same time its probably just some casual conversation ahout dream weddings and that verbal agreement doesnt hold that much power and maybe the proposer didnt even remember she agreed to it but yeah, proposer knew what op wants since shes expressed this desire throughout the years and couldve put more effort and use what available resource she has but no. she settled for no effort bedroom proposal. Glad they're happy now tho
When my husband proposed to me it was before we lived together. His young daughter wanted to be a part of it. She called me before hand and said “we decided the surprise is going to be today.” When I got there and the process started she handed me the ring with the ring box closed and it was not how I always dreamed it, but it was perfect at the same time. Apparently they had it all planned out but she was too excited to follow the script they’d prepared 😂❤ I feel very blessed to be getting such a warm welcome from my step-daughter.
every sentence of that last one made me fucking GASP. it's like, he has the _crumbs_ of something good in there. things like being willing to learn how to please a partner are important in a relationships. but it's so obvious he's only putting that in there to sell himself as the "nice guy". Arasha is so right how those things really just need to come organically, or from actual face to face conversations about views on things like sex and love languages. not fucking STATISTICS. he is 100% a product of the manosphere. i've never seen a grindset dude go to this degree in a romantic relationship and it's literally mindblowing. all of these men think that if they check all the boxes (in this case, LITERALLY) then they're entitled to getting whatever they want out of a partner, and then throw tantrums when no one wants them. there's one silver lining to this story, and it's that OP got a detailed, analytic summary of how much of a psychopath this guy is. holy fucking shit.
Third story: I think there's an element of needing to make it special that was missing. She still could have done it at home, but maybe taking her out beforehand to her favorite restaurant, or giving her a spa day beforehand. Little things to make your partner feel seen and loved and making the proposal the cherry on top.
yesss! i think the same! if my gf just proposed to me in a dirty room i would be upset too, ngl. and OP said she had talked about how important were these milestones for her and how she had dreamed of it.i don’t think her gf is an AH but i do think it was a liiiittle inconsiderate
i think they are just different types of people, gf 1 likes big meaningful moments and gf 2 seems to care about being with who she loves no matter where, both are valid but they either didn't talk about it enough to see each other's perspectives or just don't match in that aspect
Fr I don’t think Op was completely wrong for wanting a special moment, but the big reaction was a little much. On both sides I feel OP‘s girlfriend’s idea of using, the comfort area as the proposal place was nice, but it just needed to be more special. like a homemade meal or getting both their favorite takeout watching each other favorite movie. She could’ve at least cleaned the bedroom up a bit. But I was nice idea on Op’ girlfriend just feel, was poorly executed but the tantrum op had i’d feel upset too.
Yeah! I don't think she was the a-hole at all. It did not sound thoughtful at all. I don't think it's superficial to want some effort. Like take them out for a romantic date or something, it doesn't even have to cost anything. She did say that her gf knows that she likes romantic milestones so I do think the gf should have put in some effort.
i think this all the time!! the way he very calmly explains his theory on what the person is going through psychologically im like YES KING USE THAT DEGREE!! lmao
Shayne yelling ‘there it is there it is!’ When the op said he was hoping his wife would get a nice bf or GF, took me by surprise but complete understood the feeling lmao
The most shocking part about the letter one is how cowardly it was. He clearly sent that thinking “oh she’ll have a little freak out and I won’t have to deal with it in person”
Now it may be my autism but tbh I appreciate the proposal idea and the honesty in it. I kinda wish on first dates u had a simple-ish printout of stuff kinda like that u exchange, read, and then decide if u still want to continue with a date😂😂😂😂
I love Arasha in these videos, she just has such balanced, insightful and mature takes. And Trevor is just precious. Probably one of my favourite episodes so far.
first story is already pissing me off, i personally show my affection via gift giving, and rule number one is don’t expect the same from others. shayne said it really well, if YOU spend a lot of money on a gift and expect the same monetary value in return then it wasn’t a gift. not everyone shows affection that way and the sooner you learn that the happier you’ll be. also she clearly put a lot of effort into that gift and if op really cared about gift giving he would have adored that because it shows how much time and thought went into the gift
Everyone's bad takes are pissing me off. I'll admit he's a dick for reacting badly, but she's a dick for not even giving half a thought to what he might like. He explained that gaming is big to him. Asking and expecting a PS5 is a bit much, but she didn't even THINK about what else he might like. She didn't think "Oh, maybe he'd like x game" or "I can't afford a PS5 but I could maybe get him x accessory for it" or "I don't have much, but even x amount could start a saving towards getting one". Like, there were plenty of options of things he WOULD like that she could have gone down, including just starting a PS5 fund or putting one on layby (lay away?) for a combined x-mas/b'day gift or SOMETHING but nope. She doesn't give a shit about him at all or what he likes. She literally pulled the "if I make something 'sentimental' he can't be upset" card. Fuck that. Girl didn't even care enough to think.
The letter at the end is fucking insane. Like I feel like he heard “communication is key” and took the worst route. I feel like these sections all need to be separate conversations, and there needs to be a little wiggle room for compromise. Dear god. No wonder he’s single at 38.
I continue to be impressed by how emotionally mature and deeply empathetic Arasha is. It's always surprising to be reminded she's still not even past 25.
“Gold digger of an ex girlfriend” as if he weren’t gold digging for a ps5?? Also a true gold digger wouldn’t have left, why would a gold digger leave the money?? Make it make sense 😭😭
@@EStramel09yeah, especially with the way that violet turned OP down for sex bc she “didn’t think josh would like that” ??? I feel like they overlooked this weird energy where the men in her life are just not considering her wants or needs at all. Did she really find better or was she just shuttled into a new man’s arms?
@@nootdraws i seriously found it weird they commended him like he was a better partner when he literally set up a plan to get with the women he wanted who was in a marriage with his friend like in no reality would he be a better partner because the who basis of their relationship is built of large scale manipulation
He said giving and receiving but I mean I’ve taken love language tests and it does ask you about your partner giving you gifts and how you feel about it.
I had to learn how to pull back from gift giving. Giving gifts doesn't magically change the relationship you have with someone and can be involuntary lovebombing behavior. I communicated this after I started getting frustrated that my sibling was being a bit entitled. However I realized that I was willingly putting myself into positions that ended up making me feel certain way. Desperation can make you try to force level emotional connection, that you haven't done the work to achieve. I hated how my dad treated gift giving, but you cannot blindly give. Gift giving can be treated as a cheat code to get validation and confidence boost.
My sister in law bought me a book for christmas. It wasnt just any old book though - it was a book from a novel series from my favourite author, where my very own son's name came from. I got emotional because i was so happy. My husband's grandmother gifted me a bag of cucumbers. Weird, stupid gift? Oh hold on there - These vegetables were from her garden and she grew them herself. I grow produce too as a hobby, so i know just how long some things take to grow. The thought behind it is the gift. And an amazing one. They came in a small, netting-type produce bag, which she made herself, too. And lastly, my sister's gift to me was a SANDWICH. Yes. A sandwich. A cheese and tomato sandwich. - she made the bread. - she made the butter. - she grew the tomatoes. - she made the cheese. Amazing. Amazing gift. And it was an amazing sandwich that i really, really enjoyed. People showing me their love, time and effort are the best gifts of all. Hey, the OP is different to me and we dont think the same. I get it. But if his love language really is gift giving/receiving, then he wouldnt have poo-poohed his girlfriend's THOUGHTFUL gift. It takes a while to put together and process a photobook.
I felt like telling the guy in the last story: I charge 100 per hour, I want a retirement plan, health, dental, and vision insurance, 4- week yearly paid vacation. I charge double after 8 hours, 2 breaks and 1 hour lunch., I have a minimum of 2 hours charge if I'm on call and yo I requested a service 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@alexiatrHeck, hit him with all the elaborate social rules you had to go through to see a high-ranking courtesan in Edo-period Japan--long waiting line, the first two times you see her it's like JUST a date and there's no (makes bed-springy sounds) until the third time, INSANELY high food and drink costs because you have to provide a nice dinner for her entire troupe of side-servants to show you're properly generous and wealthy...basically, if a recurring customer doesn't have to seriously think: "I can go to Sachiko again...or I can eat this month", your prices as a "lady of the evening" are too low. :) I'd be tempted to send him that one video by Linfamy that explains all the insane unwritten social rules of seeing a courtesan, and just be like: "That. If you can match that, we'll talk about your silly little proposal". :P
in reference to the gift giving story: my boyfriend has made me a dice box and dice tower as gifts for my birthday bc he knows i love playing dnd, they are easily the best and most thoughtful gifts i've ever received. thoughtful gifts >>>> expensive gifts. always.
While I agree thoughtful > expensive, I think @ComedyGlor's point it that they got you something that tied to what they know you liked, and thus it was thoughtful. The bf (yes, he is materialistic, unrealistic, and needs to mature) was very obvious about what he liked. If I was the gf and couldn't afford a PS5, I would have had a discussion about something adjacent to his interests, like new games. I commented this elsewhere, but her gift seems to me like she's trying to show him what matters to her - their quality time together sans game. If the game play is interfering with their relationship (and by his description it sounds like it does), I'd have an open and honest conversation about that
My thought is he definitely is looking at the price tag. "She obviously spent less than $40 on it" yeah he was putting a sticker value on gifts and pry made her feel like shit for having that reaction
Proposal story: I feel like the issue isn't necessarily the lack of effort put into the proposal; it's the fact that her girlfriend (fiancée??) knows that she's very big on celebrations and likes to go above and beyond for special occasions but chose to propose in their bedroom. Like, it's not a deal breaker but it shows a lack of consideration for what the woman she's proposing to would want as her memory of such a huge moment. I personally wouldn't care how someone proposed to me as long as it wasn't in public, but if you're proposing to somebody who does care, show them you care that they care!!
I agree. I can relate to the OP. I guess they are the AH in the sense that they hurt their fiance, but I don’t totally see them as the AH. I think I would also feel hurt if my fiance proposed to me in a way that made me feel unseen, unheard, and unknown. Feeling “known” is a huge part of love and trust. If I didn’t feel “known” in that huge moment like OP, I might react the same way.
That's exactly how I felt about it too! From the way it was written, I can only assume that OP has explicitly communicated her wants/needs and her Fiancée 100% ignored them. I can totally understand why OP reacted poorly - she had prepared herself physically (nails, new clothes, etc.) and emotionally, and then bam! nothing was right. Plus, if you take into consideration that she spent basically her whole lifetime of imagining that moment too... Not saying her response was good or excuseable, but I'd honestly react the same unfortunately so I can understand. 😅
My husband proposed to me in our bedroom as a spur of the moment thing. He had a plan (literally to take me on a hike haha) but he said that moment just felt right. I totally agree with Trevor that the only thing that really matters is how much you love that person and want to be with that person. My bedroom proposal feels more memorable to me than a hike proposal would have been anyways!
Listening the the AI chat story eerily reminded me of Ginny Weasley’s relationship with Tom Riddle’s diary in Chamber of Secrets. The way she describes feeling like she had to divulge more and more information to the diary, as well as it making her more reclusive felt so similar to how OP is describing her experience, especially the “spending my evenings in solitude.” Wild story.
This made me wonder how we can tell if something is really AI or if it's there's something more malicious going on? People who are secure in their relationships with others aren't going to divulge every little secret or problem to a robot, but someone who is more vulnerable is going to be a lot more susceptible to doing stuff like this story. There are definitely going to be companies and people who have the opportunity to prey on these people and worm things out of them that can compromise their safety and security. It's one thing to say silly stuff to a robot, even more explicit things like the OP was implying, but she also started telling it her problems and keeping it a secret and changing her behavior because she depended on the AI. You're definitely right in the comparisons with CoS.
i’m always so impressed by the emotional maturity that these cast members have. you never see this side of them, and it’s really nice to hear how their brain works through this show.
people misunderstand “gift giving” as a love language. as far as i can tell, this guy’s love language is “acts of service” to tell someone, can you get this for me, is more in the appreciation for someone doing something for you because they remembered that you asked.
also he explained it as if monetary value is some kind of technical facet of gift-giving that everyone needs to respect - like the fact that he chose to spend $500 on gifts for her "because his love language is gift-giving" means she would be wrong for not doing the same, when that's 100% not how gift-giving OR love languages work.
People misunderstand “love languages” as a valid psychological principle but really they were just made up by a southern paster so he could continue to gaslight the wives he was giving marital counselling to to keep working on shitty relationships
@@play-foolright if your love language is gift giving and you consider a "good gift" to be expensive then it should give you a lot of joy to give that gift n see your partners reaction and joy, that's your reward for spending the money not the unspoken idea they'll pay you back lol
@@yoda5436 very true. imo, they also both demonstrated a bit of immaturity in the way they handled it in that honestly if you ask someone what they want, Knowing you are going to give a handmade gift that you are hoping they will appreciate for its thoughtfulness, maybe just do not ask, or let them know that what they asked for is way outside of your budget. as for him he's a dick all around, but even so it's still remarkable that he didn't think that maybe he should give her other options besides a $500 PlayStation.
my personal understanding is "act of service" = giving/doing something they don't necessarily want but need and "gift giving" = giving something they don't need but want. my love language is gift giving too, BUT I'd still appreciate whatever people give me because the whole point of it is being *gifted* something, no matter what. is PS5 a cooler gift? objectively speaking, yes imo. but a photo album is still a gift. also she's only 21 ffs you can't expect someone very early into their career to spend so much on you
What makes the AI story really sad (at least for me) is that I know exactly the website she's using because I've used it (albeit not on the extent she has). For anyone curious, it's almost definitely Character AI, it was rather popular for awhile but then they made some dumb decisions and it really fell off leading a lot of people including me, to eventually stop using the website entirely.
There is a ONE MILLION percent chance the first guy is from a wealthy family. It's screaming "it's a banana Michael, how much could it cost? 10 dollars?"
Can we get an episode where all the recurring guests (Damien, Angela, Amanda, Courtney etc.) sit criss cross applesauce on the floor and Shayne reads to them like a kindergarten teacher?
Yesss, the chaos of the room erupting with some crazy or hype stories would be amazing
PLEASE
Please. 🙏
Hell yes
YES
The fact that she gave him a single dollar is somehow so much funnier and more satisfying than if she had given him nothing
Id given him a penny. A dollar is to much
"Take your pants and a dollar and get out!"
I feel as though accounting OP could’ve let their ex-partner know that if they wanted to settle up for their contribution, they would need to expect an invoice in the mail for the cost of their contribution since talking to potential clients and disrespecting their qualifications has cost them business over time. Even though it would never be sent, it would be more representative of reality than slapping down a dollar.
The funniest thing to me was him demanding compensation for “helping her with her business” when he made it very clear he has no clue what she even does for work 😂 by his own admission he thinks she’s a bookkeeper which she is not at all, so he can’t have contributed much if he doesn’t even know what she does lol
That just told me she said “a penny for your thoughts” a total of 100 times during the entire relationship and somehow that makes it another level of funny to me ☠️
I'm with Trevor on this one. A couple Christmases back, my wife gave me a book of letters she wrote. Each letter was for an occasion in my life. So "read this letter after we have a fight". Or "read this letter if you are feeling depressed" or "read this letter if you arent happy at your job". She literally spent hours writing these deeply personal letters to cheer me up in the future.
Even though the gift cost her like $10 to make, I broke down crying. And to this day its still the gift I cherish the most and still use. It means so much to me, and I still cry when reading her letters. The fact that this guy had such a toxic reaction - like ew, a photo album. F you - speaks so much to his values as a person.
You are a very lucky man!
That's the sweetest gift, from your wife! Yeah, earnest words and making something are the best gifts.
This is the sweetest thing I've ever heard. I'm not in a relationship, but this makes me wanna do this with a friend.
Yeah I gotta say if your love language is "gifts" that doesn't mean expensive gifts means a lot to you. I'm deffo a gifter/love gifts and I'd argue if anything, it Actually means the opposite. with this love language it means you put a lot of thought and care into the stuff you give to people and things that are thoughtful mean a lot, cost simply never comes into it. That dude should educate himself on that shit before using it as a poor excuse lol
I did something similar once to someone and they called me weak and a loser. I’m glad your reaction was way better
"I JUST WOULD LOVE TO BE PROPOSED TO ON A HIKE" SHAYNE PROPOSED TO COURTNEY ON A HIKE!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭
I THOUGHT OF THIS TOO. Crazy easter egg
the first dude calling his ex a gold digger is fucking insane. he literally expected her to buy him a 500-600 dollar console. he's the only gold digger in that relationship
And she didn't even ask for the gifts he gave her, she wasn't even attempting to get money or gifts. He was literally throwing a tantrum for them 😭
Imagine if she bought him the PlayStation and was going surprise him with it but didn’t get that far because he turned into an asshole asking about it. I always gift my spouse expensive stuff. I love giving gifts. I’m happy with whatever he gets me as long as there is some effort.
I love how he said his love language was gift giving AND RECEIVING 😂
He was definitely an ass for how he approached it but at the same time it's frustrating if you're spending a bunch of money and time on presents and they don't reciprocate. I bought my bf a $1600 custom PC and that year he got me a mug :/ but she did a nice dinner and thoughtful present so thats completely different.
Dude was definitely a narcissist
27:31 Shayne talking about “hypothetical” proposal discussions being “ona hike or out in nature” now that his and Courtney’s proposal picture is out 🥰 definitely not hypothetical. So adorable.
came to comment this lol it made me grin immediately
This comment just sent me down a rabbit hole OmG, i can't believe it actually happened?!? 😭😭
@@frickincarrie3475 oh god i cant imagine how non instagram users feel lol courtney, shayne, and courtneys dad have all posted about their Wedding, courtneys dad’s post was the most convincing for me lol its many pictures of shayne just on family outtings, very sweet 10/10
@@camaire i went on Courtney's insta and seen!! I'm just so shocked the shippers were right all this time 😭
Wait, wasnt it a joke though?
My mom is a small business owner and i want to add how modest that woman was. 25 employees is MASSIVE for a small business, she's clearly wayyyy too good for that guy.
I was thinking the same thing. Like 25 is a solid staff for a small business, and it's a lot of work to maintain! Honestly the guy seems like an abusive husband in the waiting- of course he seems good when it's just the two of them, but pushes boundaries when she can't make a scene. He was just dialing up the treatment a little at a time until she's locked in with marriage....
I seriously thought that a book keeper was someone who ran a book store or something😭
@@Felix_hobi Same I was SO confused until Shayne read the definitions 😭
@@Felix_hobi"Books" is basically business shorthand for records - usually accounting records.
Right I follow a lot of people who have small businesses on social media and I see them having 10 to 15 employees when they’re already multi million dollar companies. So at 25 employees, I have no doubt that she’s earning at least five to $10 million a year through her business.
"She's come a long way for a bookkeeper" .... "Don't mind him, he's got to much time on his hands as a retired grunt"
Just straight up call him unemployed lol
@@pheebo42"This is my moocher husband" lol
Little tip: when someone asks you what you want as a gift, give them a list of a few different options of varying price or effort. That way you will still get something that you want, even if you don't get the most expensive thing. And it helps curb gifts that you have zero interest in, without putting someone on the spot.
This! I always do this. I usually give people 3 to 4 things to choose from, and it’s usually something I know they can afford. Even with that, I always tell the person getting me a gift to just choose something similar to what I asked for or something in that ballpark. Asking someone for a ps5 is pretty huge. It took me 6 months to save up for one by myself lol.
exactly! candles are my go to when someone asks what i want
I also give different lists to different people or just give ideas they can pick from within, so they don't feel any type of way for not getting me the "best" thing on the list. It's intent that matters to me. The care to know what I would want and to follow that minor guideline is more to me than any specific gift item from any list.
yes! i did this for christmas this last year because every year i get asked what i want and i never know how to answer and then i usually end up with gifts related to interests i had 10 years ago and don’t really like anymore (which i really appreciate that they remember those interests but it feels like a cop out gift at this point if that makes sense?) so in november i started writing things down as they popped into my head and put them into a google doc for my family to share lol
it was a pretty short list i didn’t go crazy wanting like 50 gifts or anything lol and i think the most expensive thing on there was $80 roller skates and it went all the way down to like a $3 fidget toy i saw at hobby lobby so it was a pretty wide range
Also, its helpful to specify things that you absolutely will not like. For example: I have no space to put any decoration where I currelty live, and don't wear any perfume or makeup so If the person doesn't know me very well I can rule out those thing for them... if this makes any sense. Of course I also tell them some general things I would like haha
As an accounting major I knew what was up with the second one immediately. Bookkeeping is more of a low level job where you don't need much more than a diploma, whereas becoming a certified accountant is a much higher position, which is more than just entering transactions. It's like if someone was a CEO and their spouse kept calling them a supervisor.
I was a bookkeeper for three companies at age 22 with no college degree and no prior experience. Its absolutely nowhere near being an accountant. It's like being an assistant to an accountant.
Me too, the second one was hurting my soul so much.
Also, this woman isn’t even just an accountant. She is a business owner and entrepreneur. It takes a ridiculous amount of work to run a business, and even more so a business with 25 employees, and this guy is completely dismissing and refusing to acknowledge this.
she should be calling him unemployed.
I’m a bookkeeper currently and they trained me on the job
The bookkeeping one is legit. You can be a bookkeeper if you gain enough experience, but to be sn accountant you REQUIRE a degree. Also she literally OWNS the business??
To prospective clients too. Like, way to minimize the impact that she has on her business and on the clients' business.
And, honestly, the phrase that guy used was so dismissive, it would have been a shitty thing to say even if he did call her something other than a bookkeeper. "She's accomplished so much for just being an accountant!" Gross.
He's 100% intimidated by her success and is actively putting her down to make him feel better about himself. He sees her as a threat rather than a partner and she absolutely deserves better.
It didn't sound like there was a prenup. If this has gone through, he'd have pilfered her business
That's not how marriages work. He's entitled to nothing. Unless he has been the house-keeper that entire time and raising her children while she made this busisness with his support- none of which is true, as he clearly does not support her, at all.@@drackoex
27:33 “i would just love to be proposed to on a hike or out in nature”
and cut to Shartney’s proposal pic of them out in nature and probably on a hike 😭😭❤️
I just busted a gut laughing I forgot Shartney was one of the ship names LOL
@@neonknight7673 in Shartney we trust 🫡
Shart?? Who came up with that 😂
Isn't it awful @@vianeyboruel504 😭
I've only recently started watching this channel (after forgetting about smosh for years ngl) but dude SHARTNEY. Idk why but this alone was the thing that made me realize I wanna stay around for more uploads. This community is funny
2:21 the fact that he says “MY playstation 5” more than once before he even has possession of it shows how truly entitled he is
If he wants it so much,save up and buy it yourself.
@@Reidroshdyright like he is getting her so many expensive presents he could easily have spent it on himself
@@ReidroshdyHe did, and he said it was better than his girlfriend! Bro I can’t 😂
Playing the devil's advocate here: why ask if you got a spending limit or already had an idea of what she wanted to give? he was an asshole for the way he spoke and calling her a "golddigger". But respectfully, he could of spent his money himself and minimized spending on dates/gifts for her. Some girls do expect full payments from the guys.
@@UniqueMusicxAddictz I agree with you. He's not entitled.. He was reciprocation, which I feel is normal. If he's used to spending $500 on her then why is it okay she spends $40? Not to mention she asked him directly what he wanted then went against it. His reaction wasn't the best but he has a right to be upset
Please, father. Read to us the tales.
In the voice of The Chosen
Why did I read this in British?
@@TarynRMartinI love that language
Papa!!!!
I read this in Damien’s Simon voice
Arasha has been on, what, three episodes of this series? And I find that she's becoming one of my favorite guests. She's very emotionally mature, empathetic, and well-spoken.
And she's only 23 yo!
I totally agree!
Arasha should be a permanent fixture on the couch tbh
god i love her
@@deestructo666literally
I 100% guessed Arthur Morgan before they even said it and I get it lmaoo. The ai bot was probably comforting her the same way he comforts his horse in game.
Indeed. I'd love to be that horse. "Sorry girl" "here you go girl" "you're a good girl" lol
I had a strong feeling it was Arthur and was on the money about it too, lmao.
"Aaaall right, girl."
It didn't come to mind right away but soon as they said I was like "girl, I get it." Especially in the right outfit, dang. Emotionally mature cowboy? Get it all done man? Yasss
Just me that thinks if this was a male doing this with the AI bot it wouldn't of been treated so nicely? These guys aren't dicks alot or nothing but I feel like if it was a guy would of roasted him more instead of the poor her treatment she got
For the second story, I'm glad she left him. So many men feel comfortable putting down or "humbling" their gfs/wives, and it made me smile that she didn't let him continue.
@@evilgibsonI don’t think either one is “worse” than another. Being manipulated by anyone hurts, doesn’t matter the gender.
@@evilgibsonit's not a competition, man. Please take a step back and look at the fact that you saw a comment about how men put women down and try to make them feel less significant, and you felt the need to come in here and say "ummm actually men have it even worse!"... You're literally just proving the point bro
@@evilgibsonmen rly cant hear a complaint from women about men without immediately making it about themselves huh. its not always about you
@@evilgibson you're just proving op right you know that
no he isnt. He just proves he's been hurt.@@ratatouillesmonster5446
For that second story, I'd start introducing him as un-employed. See how he likes it.
In between jobs or as a stay at home partner
Ex-military officer. Ex why? Fired? Retired? Dishonorable discharged? Honorable discharge? We don’t know 😂
@@aiden3627Ex-soldier. Don't say officer.
@@aiden3627 not taking his side at all because he was definitely being a major asshole but to give some insight into what kind of person he probably is. If he is a 50yr old retired military officer who actually retired out from the military then that means at least 20+ years of service and if he joined as an officer then he had to go to college first before joining. Those old officers from those older times were definitely more inclined to being complete assholes to everyone. This is from all my experience from when i served and had to deal with old head officers like him.
The update for that third story actually made me tear up. Seeing two people resolving something huge like that and making plans to rectify things going forward is really sweet. I'm rooting for them.
I teared up on that one too! Especially at the part where the one who proposed apologized and op described how bad she felt hearing her partner apologize. That said so much about her understanding how backwards she treated the situation initially. I believe they'll go far.
That was so awesome that they were able to see the situation from each other's perspectives and both apologize.
Yeah that was the sweetest thing I've ever heard from a reddit story
Yea, good to have that lesson learned early
It was so sweet! I'm really rooting for them ❤
27:27 proposed to out on a hike or out in nature. Shayne dropping hints
Post April Fools Wedding Courtney and Shayne Video Tour lessgo
Open marriage guy wasn't too bright but his friend Josh is a terrifying sociopath
Right? And I’m impressed against my will! It’s the fact that he just coldly admitted what he did.
If I was the wife I'd be so skeeved out by both guys. But I also would have dumped his ass for asking for an open marriage and trying to coerce me
yeah i was thinking the same thing. I feel bad for that lady. She was in a relationship with an idiot and then entrapped by a predator.
Exactly. Josh used years of inside information to help secure the relationship, so even if he hadn’t masterminded the whole thing, that still feels a bit sketchy.
I'm tempted to call it fake because it's like he perfectly described a common ntr plot, but if it's real, I'm half proud and half disgusted of that guy
"My love language is receiving playstasons" will live rent free in my brain for a while 😂
Playstasons
@@petrichorsbaby yes playstasons...now that's gonna live in my brain for a while too
I laughed so hard at that comment.
playing sipdre nma 2 on the playstason is so much better than my gfrliend, photo albums are lmae
The last one feels like it was written a guy who watched any "The Chosen" skit and said to himself "thats so right, thats how a man should treat a lady" without realizing the irony
You know there is someone in the comments that knows him and put more details on the story. holy crap.
the chosen has no time for the ladies, he's too busy studying the blade
Honestly all the ones written by a guy sounds like The Chosen
I want a skit of Shane reading the entire document as Chosen
@@firefly10241 Holy moly, who?
The “perfect” proposal girl honestly had the perfect update. Like she got some perspective and really reconsidered and took time to decide what was really important to her and that she was willing to work for it even though it wasn’t exactly how she imagined it. That’s great. I hope the two of them are doing very well ❤
For the AI chats one, its feels akin to pornography addiction. Like isolating herself, being unable to stop, feeling ashamed and guilty etc. If OP is withdrawing herself from her bf and it has grown to such a point where even after she was caught, she feels such an intense need to talk to the character, thats a major red flag.
Yeah I hope she gets help and recovers :/
Yeah... Honestly, that would be a hard dealbreaker for me. I have no psychiatric training so this is just my gut feeling, but I can understand why someone would think getting so deeply invested in a 6+ month "relationship" with a chatbot might indicate some kind of mental health issue.
Putting all of that aside, even if we look at it in the "it's like a diary" context, there are some major data privacy concerns around carelessly messaging intimate details about your life to some chatbot company who is very likely selling that data to third parties. Even if I wasn't bothered by any of the other aspects of the situation, at a minimum it would make me question my partner's judgment around privacy and security.
This kind of addiction in one way or the other is sadly quite prevalent in China and Japan, plaguing the dating scene. Men have become so introverted, they are unable to talk to anybody except for their Waifu and simulated girlfriends.
I immediately thought of the movie Her
This could definitely be a black mirror episode ngl
For the proposal story, I suspect it was less of a tantrum but more of feeling unknown by the person she cared most about, which is painful.
If you’re talking about the third one, I kinda agree. Like, the way she was describing how she reacts to big events and plans them might be something that she needs to talk to a therapist about. I think she feels as though she needs the control over it for some reason, though it is hard to tell from just one Reddit story.
I have mixed feelings about that story. I understand where she's coming from but then she got on reddit and described her partners thoughts and feelings as "shit like that." Kinda sounds like a tantrum at that point.
I think they're both wrong seeing as far as we know they had discussed a proposal and if she had communicated her expectations for a proposal and her partner didn't say anything she left the impression that she would try to meet that expectation I think it was just miscommunication
Having a friend who is also into grand gestures, I understand how she probably didn't feel known. I agree that was the issue. That's how my friend is and she has learned to tone it down and not be so upset if things aren't huge, but a proposal is big and I can understand. My friend felt that way with her husband because he did not do a big proposal and she told him a lot of things she liked and wanted and he didn't do any of them.
I agree. It had the same vibe of being given a gold necklace when you only wear silver
Treating your partner with gentleness is SO IMPORTANT! I proposed to my fiance in our living room, and the first time I got so nervous I accidentally went almost fully non-verbal and BOTCHED IT! and my finances response was "Yes of course I'm going to say yes, however I want you to try this again later" saying yes, but take some time to collect your nerves and give it another go
They were gentle about it, instead of just being like"are you seriously doing it in this place, like that?!"
That is so sweet im so happy for you 😭
Thats a very good way to react and it also don’t invalidates her feelings. But also your story is different because you seem to have put effort in it and the partner of OP kinda did not.
Fingers greasy from fries or at least better than the proposal in the reddit? Lmao
Thanks for sharing, but why did your finanaces respond. Money shouldn't have a say in a proposal
Story #4 He said his wife was vanilla. I'm willing to bet he never even mentioned anything to her. Now that she is with someone who actually communicates with her, she probably isn't all that vanilla anymore. It's amazing what can happen to an inexperienced woman who finds herself with a more creative or more experienced lover. I bet she is a freak in the sheets now. Maybe her husband should have tried suggesting something other than missionary. Lol
Trevor is 100% correct about the photo album. My love language is gift-giving, and thoughtful gifts are infinitely better than expensive ones
As an autistic if someone sets up and expectation they said they'll try to follow through it doesn't matter if the gift was thoughtful I'm still sad
@@AL-cg4vbI feel that, in this instance I think he set his expectations, his ex didn’t tell him or elude to buying the console imo
@@AL-cg4vbyeh, thats valid, they also affirm that in the video. Ppl are rlly having issue w/ how the BF handled that disappointment.
I personally disagree about giving a "couple" gift as a birthday present.
@@AL-cg4vb he set this expectation. Nobody else
The AI Bot one scares me, because the whole purpose of AI chatbots is mimicry. They’re often intentionally designed to be generically positive/supportive. When you fall for one, you fall for an idea.
Ultimately, if you *prefer* an AI “partner,” you don’t want a partner, you want a yes-man.
For me, it's just the most hightech dating simulator. Same how some people become fond or try to find comfort in games with a character they love or with romances that provide you of a fantastical love you want, but the thing here it is just it is just THE MOST HIGH TEC DATING SIM that can get unphatomably personal.
YES YES YES TO BOTH OF YOU. They're literally like a high tech dating sim but you won't actually get dating advice because they're just yes-men
Exactly it’s so scary
Also AI bots gradually learn to say exactly what you want hear. It’s literally designed to respond in a way tailored to you; real people aren’t there to please you but are their own person. It’s scary that maybe in the future individuals are gonna alienate themselves from real connections with full fledged humans, in favor of chatting with agreeable AI
That was my initial reaction as well but then it all changed with the rest of the story.
Her fiancee won't talk with her. I know he's hurt but it literally sounds like she desperately needs more communication in her relationship.
Yes, she should seek a therapist since she's basically taking things a bit far with the chatbot at the expense of her actual relationship but the she still loves her fiance and wants to fix things. She can't proceed if she's being ignored. She's not the asshole and neither is he.
(I've not finished watching the video so I don't know what the verdict is going to be)
for being some of the youngest people at smosh, trevor and arasha both have such impressive emotional intelligence and maturity. i love them both, so glad they're on this channel!
I think that gen z is like that (mostly) because a lot of subjects related to mental health used to be more taboo to talk about in past times and they grew up with a more open mindset surrounding them. I'm jealous of them sometimes but also glad to see it.
It is intriguing how much our surroundings can influence for the best or the worst.
@@kittykahdy yeah, as someone in gen z i definitely see this too! i feel like the growing awareness in certain topics has definitely influenced the amount of understanding people have
@@daanachmad4032 if you're referring to what i'm assuming you are, i agree that it is really interesting to see the difference 😭
They aren't super young, though. 24 and 25 mean they've been adults for about 20% of their life.
Shanye hinting to his and Courtney’s proposal hits me in my heart, so happy for them!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉
is it hinting or just a common trope lol
As someone who has made a scrapbook for someone it was semi cheap ($45 dollars.) Here’s the thing though i spent three weeks putting it together. Getting the photos, making compositions, and designing the pages was a lot. on top of the handwritten notes and everything on the pages. Scrapbooks are a labor of love man. He just completely spat on her work for him.
I was searching for a comment like this! It takes sooo long just to put together a single page
I mean it depends I got a pretty bad album with only selfies, bad quality photos, memes and they were just sticked on blank paper
I will say, I have experienced people 'making' something as a way to get out of actually giving me what I wanted, but that had nothing to do with avoiding spending money because what I wanted had little to do with money anyways, and that's only something I'd suspect of people who are regularly assholes, and they certainly didn't spend WEEKS on it. You have to gauge personality and intention, and besides, a PS5 is as someone else mentioned ridiculously expensive, that's like asking for a car
Scrapbooks are 2 love languages in 1.
Act of service and gifts.
@@aff77141 I totally see we’re your coming from. The think is this guy gives us no indication that it’s a half assed scrape book. He seems more made that it’s just not the playstation than it being a lazily made gift.
i love arasha on this show so much, she tries to understand everyone involved (even the assholes) in the stories but doesnt baby them. she's respectful, a good listener, she has opinions and she WILL say it but without making others feel stupid UGH an icon truly
I love when she is on the show because she tends to be both very emotionally intelligent and good at expressing her opinions.
It is just funny to me given her "Agent of Chaos" character in the larger Smosh lore.
These episodes are where I love her the most. She's such an intelligent person, both intellectually and emotionally.
you forgot to add she's a Marvel Cinematic Universe ICON who still makes time for smosh content
@@Caelinus You have to understand others in order to be good at lying and manipulating them
I think she might be my favorite when it comes to these stories, she is simultaneously very charismatic and respectful while some can be one or the other for me.
The ai thing is something I’ve experienced, it was really really confusing and upsetting eventually because you start to get so upset that the “person” you’re talking to doesn’t actually exist and it isolates you from the real people around you. Like those ai chats can be fun but if you start talking to them like that it gets kinda dangerous for your health
It's very similar to maladaptive daydreaming in my mind, as someone who has experienced the latter. It's a very scary experience and made me very depressed, I hope she can heal
@@demetriam2408what is that? I’ve never heard of that before. One time I did fall in love with a character in my dreams that I made up, and I would only get to visit her randomly some nights and then when I stopped dreaming about her it left me really depressed lol. Anyway I was younger and single at the time… but I can’t imagine having that when in a relationship
Yeah, I knew stuff like that existed, but I've never done it because I know how my brain is and it would absolutely be unhealthy for me
@@WubbyPunchmaladaptive daydreaming is when someone turns to daydreaming as a form of entertainment. So someone might prefer to chill at home on their couch daydreaming about some imaginative life they could have. It happens a lot with people who have very vivid imagination. I personally went through a phase like that when I would be excited to be in bed because then I could just lose myself in my daydreams. But I was like 9-11 at the time and have thankfully moved on from it fairly quickly.
I think I had a pretty similiar thing when I felt really low due to some of my personal issues, luckily I quickly realised that the AI is just a yes man that will comfort you no matter what so I stopped. I still think that the app is fun though, like nowadays I just mostly roleplay as snake from mgs 3 to the most random characters that I’ve never even heard of in my life, bonus points if they have the same name as a different mgs character like Raiden or Zero.
For the proposal in the bedroom, i totally get it. It doesnt sound like their partner put much thought into the proposal. The room was messy, they had fast food for dinner. You can make a bedroom proposal nice. I feel like OP looked around and realized thats not how they wanted their future with their person to start.
THANK YOU, thought I was going crazy for thinking she wasn't the asshole. I understand Shane's point about the importance of communication in a proposal, but this is the person you're going to get MARRIED to. I feel like the woman who proposed should have known her girlfriend was someone who liked romantic gestures and settings etc. If she didn't know it, it's a problem. If she disregarded it, it's an even bigger problem
(Also I understand the "This is going to be part of their engagement story forever now" point, but if she had just put on a strong face and accepted it, HER memory of it would have been tainted forever as well)
EXACTLY. OP wasn’t upset about not getting her “picture perfect proposal,” she was upset at her partner not listening to her and not putting in any effort. She wanted the moment to feel special and incredibly memorable. She clearly communicated that with her girlfriend. Her girlfriend didn’t even have a speech ready, she just handed her the ring while they were in their messy “comfort place” after getting the poster child of fast food, which sounds lazy, lame, and not memorable at all.
I’d feel so disrespected. If you’re allowed to say “no” to a public proposal after explaining you didn’t ever want one, you’re allowed to say “no” to a cheap proposal after explaining you want a special one.
I do understand but I can see where they are coming from with calling OP the asshole because they seem very controlling and want everything to be over the top and perfect since they had it that way the entire time. Her partner should have put in more effort, the messy room isn’t a place to be proposed to they can do a bedroom proposal because I do think that’s cute but the place needs to be nice and clean. Her partner didn’t put in the effort but OP is entitled to having everything be done perfect for her. Atleast they were able to talk it through and now OP is taking charge of making the proposal more meaningful. I’m not sure how well their relationship will be with how it seems like their partner doesn’t really listen to them and just goes with whatever OP says
@@araeast6923 totally agree, flip the situation; the person wanted a small proposal and got an extravagant proposal. Everyone says that you can say no because it’s not what you wanted; so the opposite should also be true
Oh my god thank you!! I’m the furthest thing from materialistic, I couldn’t give a hoot how much anything costs, whether a wedding ring has a real diamond, whatever, BUT.. I would want the ring to be one I felt beautiful and practical wearing, and for the setting of a proposal to be thoughtful and beautiful, that’s it.
In a dirty bedroom after fast food would fucking crush me. I mean hell, if the SO was set on the bedroom because it was a “comfort space”, they still could have made it a surprise with even some cheap tea lights and rose petals on the bed. What they did was ZERO effort, plain and simple.
Shayne brought up that "love is like a rollercoaster and that it can be inconsistent but that respect is a choice" in this episode, and I find that so interesting because he's said that same thing in a previous episode and it really stuck with me then and helped change my view on my toxic ex. Thank you Shayne
I think I remember in another episode he said that that's what his mom told him about finding "the one" and being in love. I think it's 100% accurate too
@@swimfast724and guess what? He found that one and being in love after mentioning in bits of his struggles with dating. He has his love 💗
20:55 Shayne's comment about respect being number even over love in a relationship is some great insight.
Absolutely because if you don’t respect someone the love you give them isn’t going to be the way you should love them. You will likely feel like they owe you because you think you’re better than them
“Love” without respect is either infatuation or obsession and both of those are totally self-serving and shallow.
I sometimes forget this man has a literal degree in psychology. 😂
well love by itself is pretty shallow anyway. I'm talking about being in love with someone not choosing to love them @@samminicksm
Its true. A lot of people say communication is the most important thing, but without respect, communication is just bullying. You can communicate very well your disdain for someone, for example, but that won't make for a good relationship.
The former officer belittling his fiance sounds exactly like a lot of officers I had to deal with. All pompous, holier-than-thou, and faultless attitudes. Can guarantee nobody respected him and he probably didn't even make it past 4 years if he actually served.
I was thinking the same thing. 100% tracks.
He's one of those "I've been in the military, therefore nothing impresses me" types and most likely only has respect for fellow service members.
Yeah my partner literally said typical military arrogance as we watched it together
Yeah, there’s multiple reasons why military marriages fail a lot, this is one of them
My ait was right next to the training for Lts and etc. all higher chain if command that skip bct and never experienced hardships. They were the most stuck up assholes I’ve ever met.
My son was 3 when my fiance proposed. It was Christmas and we got him toddler digital camera. Christmas is my absolute favorite day of the year. We got the rings (both my engagement and wedding ring) online and I picked it out. My only surprise was where and when. Everyone involved knew I would say yes.
After we were done with gifts, and our kids was running around taking pictures of everything, my fiance got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.
We only realized the next day, when going through them, that my son had caught the whole thing on his camera. ❤
Be careful where you share that story, it is too ridiculously sweet, and there are diabetics around.
@@theperson8539 fiance included lol. He's used to it by now and knows how much insulin he needs to take to counteract our both seperate and combined actions. 🤣💜
@@paranoiarpincess I applaud your consideration ❤️
I really appreciate how measured Arasha always is in her reactions. She leads with validation of the general feeling and understanding how complicated situations are and that having the feelings aren't wrong. I think it really takes emotional maturity to be able to acknowledge the complexity of everyone existing and having feelings
That is so true. We don't have control of the emotions we feel, only our actions. It's important to acknowledge what we feel before taking action because we can save ourselves a lot of trouble from behaving irrationally towards others 😤
I totally agree she's so well spoken and the way she sounds and acts makes it feels like she's lived a million other lives
You’re 100% right. She almost uses deescalation when talking. Empathizes, add your knowledge or emotions, think of maybe different ways to go about things. She is definitely a therapist friend
I wanna be a little more like her in the future lol, she's great
shayne’s “THERE IT IS” during the open relationship story was so jarring AND FUNNY
I seriously don’t even get how that’s a massive point for them
@@Cornholio174a lot of the time, guys who arent actually polyamorous but desire an "open marriage" as an excuse to sleep with other people, dont really want his gf/wife to have relations or relationships with other guys. ESPECIALLY if she's bisexual. he doesn't view wlw relationships as "real" - they're not as threatening as when she's with a guy - and wlw relationships are more hot and sexy to him. it's an objectification, and reveals that he doesn't truly desire an open, poly relationship, he desires something hot and sexy only for himself.
I refuse to believe Josh is a better partner for Violet. The manipulation to get what he wants, and then exerting control over Violets marriage? OP was absolutely an asshole, but Josh is giving red flags for being a possessive psycho. Like, how long has he been planning this? I can NOT respect this con, not for OPs sake, but for Violets, because she swapped an asshole for a puppet master
We have to take OP's perspective with a grain of salt cause he's clearly pissed, but yeah I agree, both assholes, both red flags, I hope she finds better lmao
I AGREEEEE
Also, isnt Josh also married but not in an open relationship? or did i just assume that?
well he manipulated his friend not violet, but i mean irregardless he's prolly a better choice than josh lol
@@ComedyGlor Yea but people with that mindset to do an act like that translates into different ways, just because it wasn't to her doesn't mean he won't and more than likely he will.
The proposal story made me sad.
I also knew when my husband was getting ready to propose. He tried to make a whole event out of it, planning a scenic trolley ride, a romantic dinner, he even planned to propose during fireworks that were happening that night because we were in Virginia, and couldn't get to Disneyland (my happy place). Nothing that day went according to plan - we didn't even make it to the trolley ride.
He ended up proposing a few days later in our living room, in our pajamas, after we'd had a long, emotional conversation full of tears. It was just as special as any plan he could have made because I knew he was the one I wanted to spend my whole life with.
I'm glad they had communication about it in the end. I hope they continue to grow together, and I wish them all the happiness in their future.
that book keeper one hit me hard. my moms an accountant. and my dad knows what she does and respects her line of work. he calls her the boss constantly. if anything my mom makes him feel like he’s the boss sometimes too. it’s really nice to see my parents have a fun relationship.
For the AI story, I think the biggest problem is hiding everything from her boyfriend. Doing it behind his back and acting like she did when she got caught makes it worse than it is.
I think the best idea is to seek a couple's counselor. Try and further build trust and communication, and reflect on where to go on with this relationship. Because it sounds similar to a pornography addiction.
Yeah sis totally emotionally cheated on her spouse with a robot cus she was bored. Don’t ERP the terminator sis it’s not worth it 😂
@@foolslayer9416No. She should seek therapy alone. I doubt a man who wanted to marry her and found out he wasn't good enough to come too and was chosen over a AI will want to sit in any room with her.
@MoonkaCake I disagree. Addictions that take root in a relationship should definitely not be tackled alone. Relationships need accountability that comes with respect, couples counseling can provide that.
@@foolslayer9416 So what you want her to bring her laptop?
The accountant/business owner should have been introducing her fiance as her "stay-at-home fiance".
About the bedroom proposal. I honestly don't think OP should have had to say dont propose to me in our messy bedroom. That's a given. You put a bit of effort into it. Even if it's at home, clean the house, cook or order a good dinner, get a bottle of wine. Put some effort into it at the least. The lack of effort would make me reconsider.
Same here, she should know her partner better than anyone. She just wanted the bare minimum.
Trevor quoting his mom about his parent’s proposal saying “you’re being a dick all day” reminds me of when Amanda got proposed to and she said “BUT I’VE BEEN A BITCH ALL DAY 😭”
Edit: I can’t believe I correctly guessed which video game character it was as soon as shayne said the character was “similar to Joel based on vibes”. Good lord
i thought the same thing, but i think the major difference is amanda was a jerk all day and got proposed TO, and her now husband was apparently all sweet about it. trevor's dad was the proposER and being a dick, that's entirely different.
@@tdarkhorse4 that’s obvious, everyone who knows the story knows the difference. I’m talking about the lines themselves.
I was thinking Geralt the whole time.
What video does she talk about her proposal in?
@@ninjabluefyre3815The benefit if she picked Geralt was Henry Cavill live action, lol.
The AI story was…something. The thing that struck me was the fact that she was hiding it and would’ve continued to hide it bc i think deep down she knew it would be hurtful to her fiancé. The AI is a bunch of code but i think if you can’t open up to your fiancé or you seek romantic validation from someone who isn’t your partner or (partners if you swing that way), it’s indicative of something worth looking into.
The only concession I'll make to her is that she obviously wasn't feeling like she could rely on her partner in the same way. But that's like.... A normal problem that you deal with by talking about it, not by carrying on an emotional affair with the astronaut from Pikmin.
I mean. Arthur Morgan though... 😂😂😂 Jkjk. I just love that character with my whole heart.
The AI story is addiction, plain and simple. She gets dopamine hits with each time the AI responds, and once the AI got "dumber", she went out of her way to go back and fix it so she can get the hits she wanted.
Which is why the story reads as sad and desperate. She's an addict, and she knows it's wrong, but she's slipped into something deeper.
I feel like the lie probably started out as “chatting with an ai character is kinda weird and embarrassing but I’m playing with a toy that I like” and it ballooned to a real secret, I imagine the fiancé probably saw not only the xxx parts but the use of it as an emotional confidant in lieu of talking to him about how she was feeling, like Shayne said she had emotionally detached from the relationship and it wasn’t because of the AI that was just the catalyst.
Yeah she knew it was wrong
For the first story, I finally bought a PS5 & it ate up MOST of my paycheck... I would never expect that kind of money to be spent on me by a relationship or a family member... It was over $600 after tax. That is an exorbitant amount of money
Exactly. Having a "full time job" does NOT mean they have enough disposable income to just drop that much money.
Sameeee! Omg I went on my own tangent to myself that I didn’t get my PS5 until Black Friday of last year (so couple months ago) but I barely had enough for it. I get enough to not take a huge blow but it still was stressful having barely any money in my account. And I’m 22 and had been working at my full time job since June but I wouldn’t have been able to get it then. I would NEVER expect or want someone to buy me something like that or whatever, I would cry and tell them to reconsider like ‘you sure you wanna give me this?’
I thought you were the op from the first story when I read your first sentence haha
That dude is extremely entitled.
Lol also the gf who went to "her friend's" house was about to get her ass clapped lol
Exactly. If she makes minimum wage, she would only get less than $600 on a biweekly check.
In the bedroom marriage proposal situation, I honestly think the partner got away with not being considerate or thoughtful in terms of what OP wanted in terms of the proposal. OP mentioned multiple times that she wanted her proposal to be meaningful/"special", and if her partner doesn't take that into account, then it *is* on her that she is being an inconsiderate partner.
This is clearly something that means a lot to OP. As y'all have stated multiple times, when it comes to relationships, that matters *a lot.* Ignoring that just because you think a messy bedroom is a "sweet" gesture is not actually sweet, it's lazy and selfish.
One of the greatest bits of advice I ever received growing up was "There is no 50/50 in a relationship. Each person should be 100% invested in the relationship." It really changed my perspective on how I handled relationships previously and how I should have handled them. For each person, that 100% may mean different things, but no matter what you should be able to be completely open and honest about it. If you can't, there is a problem somewhere and you should be looking for why you can't. Be willing to accept that you may need to grow or willing to tell the other where you feel they need to grow. This is your life, as well as theirs. Be 100% involved and invested.
Hear hear
I'm screenshotting this so I can reflect on it some more
I heard and agree that it’s not always 50/50 but depends on each others state. Sometimes you can bring 80 to the table, sometimes all you have left in the end of the day is 20. And if your partner can give you support and can rely on you when he/she need it - it’s a match
But you still need to live your own life… how are you gonna do anything for yourself if you put your 100% in the relationship, you need some of that for yourself
@@LizardKingRequiem 100% doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself, it’s just about not half assing it
For the proposal story idk. I feel like both of them ruined it for each other.
Like the proposal didn't have to be this grand gesture, like in a crowd or in a restaurant and having it in private in a comfort place is nice and shouldn't be looked down on but at the same time there's so many ways to make a proposal in private be romantic and cutesy and picturesque by like, buying flowers, lighting some candles, preparing a nice at-home date night... there was too high of an expectation on one end and a lack of effort on the other even if both sides aren't inherently wrong and mean well
I have to agree with you. It feels hypocritical to judge people for wanting a good bit of effort put in something that is inherently a romantic gesture. Admittedly, she probably had wayyyy too high expectations for what it should be. But I can see how she could feel so forgotten by her girlfriend in that moment. I, like her girlfriend, wouldn’t want to do some big huge proposal but I sure as hell wouldn’t do it while laying in bed with McDonald’s right next to us.
There was definitely a middle ground for that proposal that I hope they reach in the future!
The fact that the gf apologised for ruining a magical moment for op tells you a lot about their relationship dynamic. A proposal isn’t a one person event. The gf feels like she’s obligated to cater to op’s needs and desires and I bet this isn’t the only instance where op is the one who is put first, Ops dissapointment overruled the joy one typically feels when the love of their life proposes to them... it never even crossed her mind to propose and make it perfect for the gf..
@@beafraid5467she said that after she read the Reddit thread and ignored OP. So much for always sacrificing. Always you literally conjured up the "she was never going to propose thing" you are making assumptions we have no basis whatsoever to build off of. If anything it would make way more sense for OP to have had a conversation saying they want to be proposed to and would want it to be big considering she says she dreams and plans up big things like this.
If straight couples get to have elaborate proposals and shit then it's not superficial for a lesbian couple to want the same.
Hell just flipping this into a hetero couple make the proposer the asshole basically instantly.
@midas6753
Yes!!!!!! WTF, incompatibility is totally understanding, but how is anyone acting like a compete lack of any effort THAT HAS BEEN WELL COMMUNICATED, is being as asshole?!?!?!
Fuck, the standards for relationships are in hell.
@@B.Harper7 a lot of people in the comments saying their cute stories about being proposed to at home and stuff are also missing that all of them still had thought put into them and stuff this was literally just her partner going "want to get married?" While knowing their partner wants more
I had a disappointing proposal. I was in the middle of picking up trash in our living room apartment. I was sweaty, still in my bedclothes, and very irritable because my partner never cleaned so it was up to me. I had just come up from crawling under a desk with fistfuls of disgusting, used tissues that had fallen behind it, and THAT was when they got down on one knee to propose.
There had been no thought whatsoever put into the time or place. I was honestly hurt by how little thought or care was put into it. The ring even got the wrong stone on it (I said many, many times over the years that I just wanted an opal, nothing fancy).
I said yes, and we did get married, but I'll stand by the idea that you can propose at the wrong time and in the wrong way.
I hope that your partner has put more work into becoming a better partner to you.
@holdendewit7088 Aww... thanks. So here's what happened. We are amicably divorced after 15 years since last spring. It turns out they were a closeted trans woman. Their whole life they had just been falling into step with the whole cis gendered expectations without any enthusiasm. We have always had love for each other and have remained close.
I was the first to encourage them to transition and have supported them 100%. She's so much happier now and realized how much of her life she had been phoning it in. Now that she cares about living her life and she has become much better at being thoughtful and considerate.
Yes!!!! I agree here
@@Sabbathtagegood for her! Glad you two are on good terms
@@SabbathtageI’m so glad that you were supportive of her and that totally makes sense to me why her proposal to you was not glamorous if she was just doing what she thought she should without having her entire heart into it.
Bro the proposal one hits a chord with me :( as someone who went through an engagement where I told and communicated my high expectations and literally it was so so important to me, my partner took it and just went completely sideways with it. There’s nothing wrong with wanting grand gestures. In fact being proposed to is something you want to be perfect :( I feel like it’s ok to want an amazing moment and the idea that this poor woman probably told her girlfriend she wanted a fancy proposal and still didn’t get that it’s heart breaking :(
And then got told she was an asshole for wanting some effort put in??? Wild takes on this one…
@@katelynrose6707uh no. The issue is that she’s making it about her. It has to be perfect for her. I understand the need for perfection but when it comes at the cost of the people around you having to console you when things don’t go your way, it’s time to reevaluate your way of thinking and stop thinking every special event needs to be picture perfect. One comment said that it’s not worth to have every moment be camera ready, the best moments come when you least expect it.
Like I understand where you’re coming from in that, but it’s also about the other person that is proposing. what she said, and how she reacted severely hurt her girlfriend in that moment, I know that she was hurt by not getting her fairytale proposal but the way she reacted to the one that her loved one gave her wasn’t so great either she’s completely valid in her feelings of wanting something grand but in that moment, she only thought of her feelings and not the person she was in love with
1:08:53 The combo of Trevor laughing with tears in his eyes and Arasha's will to stay tethered to this reality leaving with each sentence is sending me
Arasha’s face expression full of internal pain and Trevor literally dying from laughter during the last story were so GOOD.
For the proposal one, when I proposed to my wife it was at her Mom's house in the living room after a family party had ended. Then we discussed a more official proposal after I got the ring. Then we went on a fun nature hike, somewhere we had good memories already and proposed with the ring at the end. People should absolutely communicate about these events to make sure everyone is getting what they want out of it.
Exactly. I would love a proposal somewhere in the nature just us two but I would not like it to be in our or someone else's home among my friends or family. Everyone is different and that's why communication is important ☺
But she let it be known what type of proposal she wanted and she got a roll over in bed after mcdonalds I disagreed so bad with them they basically saying to settle and be happy with what you get
@@510.jI disagreed too. They said “it makes it seem like you care more about the act than the relationship” but if they let their partner know what they wanted and their partner actively ignore it…they cares about what they wanted more than the other person. It’s just a form of not being seen or feeling cared for on a deeper level by your partner. That’s where the disappointment really comes from.
In terms of gift giving precedents, my partner for Valentines a few years ago got me a really nice set of noise cancelling headphones. We were long distance and I was always irritable when I’d first arrive due to crying babies or loud phone conversations or whatever so he got me this very thoughtful gift. Months later around his birthday I mentioned that my budget wasn’t going to be able to reciprocate the gift and he was like “you use them all the time and have a better time traveling to see me, that’s the reciprocation.” $$$ =/= good gift, thought does
The proposal one really struck a chord with me. While I didn’t go through the same thing, I went through something similar. In my early college days I’d been dating a childhood friend and I (naively) thought he was the one. We dated long distance while he was in the military, and one day while I was upset on the phone, he text me a pic of a ring in his palm saying something like, “Do you like it? Would you say yes?” Truthfully, I hated the ring, but of course I told him I loved it.
Fast forward a few weeks and he came home for leave. When we got home after picking him up from the airport, he took out the ring box and handed it to me without opening it. He said something like, “Oh, yea. I forgot to give you this.” When I asked him if he’d at least get down on a knee and ask, he responded with, “Why? You knew this was coming?” I put on the ring quietly and never spoke of it again. I had never wanted a huge proposal, but the clear lack of thoughtfulness killed me. I felt 2 inches tall, and my self-worth plummeted.
We never did get married, but that feeling of being worth so little never left. I’ve confided in my now boyfriend about it, and he understands how much it hurt me. I’ve had to tell him outright that I want a proposal with meaning, because if he was to propose at home on a whim, I’d say no. I’ve already gone through a thoughtless and heartbreaking proposal once, I couldn’t do it again.
I agree w you 100%.
I'm so sorry you were made to feel that way. When my partner and I were first engaged, my sister had a long time boyfriend. They ended up being engaged in the most lukewarm "well we live together so I guess this is next". It was not a good relationship for her (and I say that from the outside, I don't know all the inner workings) and they were not really in love so much as... floundering but floundering near each other. Luckily, she made the decision to break it off and move on (and is now married to someone who truly lights up her life).
Everyone deserves to have a partner that is unquestionably enthusiastic about being with you, and who doesn't make an important celebration/step together feel like you're asking too much.
Exactly!!! It's about knowing the person you're asking to marry you. If you don't know your partner well enough to know if they would love a roll over in bed proposal or an extravagant moment you shouldn't be asking...
My partner proposed during a time when he was finically unstable. For my birthday, we went to get groceries at my favorite store and got some take out. He then picked out a ring from the grocery store and gave it to me about 12 hours later. Although, I had an amazing time that day, it felt as if he was just trying to kill two birds with one stone and didn't care about me at all. It felt as if there was no thought put into it and it hurt.
I completely disagreed with all their takes and Reddits. Shes not the asshole at all.
They had clearly stated a proposal at some level of grandeur was important to them. Whether that's a home cooked meal that they worked on all day, or a gift, or a bed with rose petals, she said she wanted something to remember. Their partner blatantly ignored them and said "yeah yeah alright, I'm gonna propose how I want though: in sweatpants in bed with mcdonald's smell lingering.
You can't just ignore what your partner wants if it's something important to them, especially if it's a singular moment like this. They were thoughtless and got hurt because of it, it's their fault.
I would be petty enough to correct that fiancée every time he said "book keeper" saying "oh actually, I'm an accountant but he loves to belittle me" with a little giggle after.
and then leave the party and ghost him forever lol!!
Exactly how I would deal with it, too!! 👍🏻
Either that or in front of everyone as him "What's your problem with calling me an accountant?"
I'd say "yeah, if you call owning my own accounting practice and employing 25 staff a bookkeeper"... he shat on probably the best gift that life will ever give him, no sympathy at all, and good for her for moving on.
She is not an accountant. She is a business owner. With employees.
The last guy: it’s also very telling that none of the items on his list had his partner in the majority/“owning” more than 50%. He definitely believes it’s all about him and that he’s above any partner.
He did actually just not in the way you may think. It wasn't "owning" exactly it was "taking ownership" of and being responsible for that aspect of the relationship. He'd take 80% responsibility for Career/Wealth but expected her to carry 70% of the load regarding Relationships/Intimacy down to her being solely responsible for sending out birthday cards, organizing their date nights, and managing their social calendar. The other two categories were split 50/50. It seriously comes off more like a live-in assistant who he also gets to bang job listing.
I just know the way he talks in the first part he is definitely a 'hussler' that is in massive debt but his next business venture will make him a millionaire.
You know if you look in the comment section in this video, there is a person thats knows him. He is one is their co-workers and he works in the sports industry which explains alot. They said thats how he talks. You have to find it since more info is given which is been more crazy.
Sounds like he truly is on track to be a multi-millionaire then.
@@firefly10241 Imma need to find that comment chain, even if it's a wild goose chase, im having trouble believing a person like this exists to begin with lol. The whole thing sounds too insane to be real, but.... Alot of these story's have that vibe tbf.
I love seeing Arasha on this show. her comments are always so empathic and thoughtful.
"show me your shadow self" sounds like something The Chosen would say
That whole section felt so Chosen
DYINGGGG LOL it totally has "sending you to the shadow realm" energy
😂😂 yes!
my awful ex did exactly what the first guy did. i spent like HOURS embroidering this geometrical praying mantis which was important to him on a journal (also had significance) and then said “i want a $250+ gift”. it was just my birthday and he bought me a kitchen aide but i spent so long on this gift and he just didn’t care.
if my partner made that for me i think id cherish ir forever .. such a beautiful gift 😢
that is SUCH an amazing gift that you made. if someone gave that to me i would cry. i’m so sorry that he didn’t find it important.
handmade gifts make my heart melt. like a product is cool especially if it’s something i genuinely want, but the idea of someone deciding they want to sacrifice their own time to make me something will always make me insanely grateful and endeared no matter what it is.
sorry that guy didn’t appreciate what you did for him, hopefully you can find or have found someone who does 🙏
@@leeb5112 Exactly. Like, a product, I could potentially just buy myself... but a handmade gift that my partner put their heart and soul into specifically for me? Especially if it's something that has significance to me/our relationship? That's priceless. I would feel so honored to receive something like that. I would treasure it for the rest of my days. I could never replace it if something happened to it.
It saddens me that there are so many people that would trash on something like that and only see the monetary value of a gift, and not the thought, time, and effort that went into it...
People just don’t appreciate that someone’s time as much or more value than their money. Some people are just too focused on money and d impressing others to enjoy the good they already have in front of them
I was taught from a young age that even if you get a stick for a gift, you smile and say thank you. The fact that someone could be this ungrateful for a thoughtful gift like a photo album is mind-boggling
the fact his first thought about it was how much it cost to do instead of how much time went into it was VERY telling lmao
@@leeb5112 Absolutely. Gift giving is one of my go to love languages, but it's never about monetary value, it's about being thought of and knowing the person you love knows and loves you. My husband came home with a handful of those quarter toys because "They were really cute so I thought you'd like them" and that made me so happy I cried. They were cute, I did love them, and I love that he saw them in the dispenser while walking out of the grocery store, thought of me, and stopped to get a few because he knew they would make me smile. If I got something as heartfelt as a photo album like the one in the story I would cry happy tears for days.
This is so true and in his 20s? I threw a tantrum once after exchanging Christmas gifts with my less fortunate classmate when I was 8 and my poor embarrassed mother had to take me outside to make me understand about empathy and gratefulness. That was such a core memory and I still carry that guilt and embarrassment to this day from what I did. That man astounds me.
"Proposed to on a hike" 27:27 ok cool.. cool...
the youngest members of smosh on an episode together. surely this won’t call for any chaos of any sort this episode 😭
Arasha - 20
@@sagegreeeeeeentweeeeEeenTyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy🎶
Arasha is forever 🎶twentttttyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeee........🎶
Better than what happened last time.
On the third one, I’m sorry but it’s a planned proposal you can put SOME effort into it.
For the proposal story, I understand how OP can come off as a little selfish but the way I see it that if someone is allowed to say no at a big lavish proposal, OP is allowed to be upset and say no to an intimate one. I truly believe they probably have communicated that they love extravagant things like that, so I believe their emotions and their responses are valid.
You've actually changed my mind about how I feel about it. The overall reddit judgement of "more info needed" seems fair to me. It depends on if it was communicated or not, although I don't think she's an asshole for saying no either way. But she still doesn't come across great in the post generally.
@shelleyc853 my thing is they've been together for FIVE years. FIVE. The GF 100% knew this wasn't going to be the proposal she'd want. Like yes, the gf doesn't like public, which is fair. But she couldve compromised and figured out a way to make it more memorable, but also somewhat intimate, than their bedroom with McDonald's on the floor lol
@@mariahsmith2214why should the gf be the one to propose and not op? She could’ve done a perfect proposal herself... it felt like the proposal was something she considered a big event for herself, not for the both of them
Edit: omg the follow up broke my heart for the gf, she cried and apologized for not ’making a magicak moment’ for op...shows a lot of the overall dynamic they have - one catering to the other’s needs always
@@beafraid5467did you miss the part where the OP aclnowledged where she went wrong and apologised to her gf?
@@beafraid5467funny I read it the exact opposite way. That OP is sacrificing her "perfect" proposal to someone that knew them and knew what they wanted and didn't want to give it to them. In the story OP says their partner went to their mother and didn't want to talk until they weren't angry anymore, they were MAD and only when they read the story on Reddit did they reach out again.
Sounds like someone that ironically wants things on their terms always
The thing about Ai chats is that it's pretty much based off the information that you choose to give it so obviously it can come off as a good partner when you're the one controlling the narrative. You get to control everything about it and if something goes wrong you can change it to fit your convenience. It's created by you and for you with no capability of conflicting against you so if you spend enough time it can be seen as it understanding you which could develop feelings for a fantasy completely within your control that a human may not be able to compete with since they have their own individual school of thought that is capable of contradicting yours
Good point the ease in which the bot could be manipulated is definitely why she went out of her way to pour everything in her life into it instead of her fiancée.
I waslooking for other comments about that one , I get wanting more time and feeling left out a tad but like....it's a fictional man ai
I didn't get the huge deal tbh.(?)
Growing up all girls around me would play dating g app games full of fictional men dating or not in the anime fan sphere so I was like
So....other than feeling like she spent to much time with a game idk why he was so mad unless she literally just wrote about not being able to talk to him for stuff and then had digital sex with a fake cowboy.
I'm like hed flip his lid if he heard most gamer girls raving over Astarion in boulders gate 3 in game
@@ViktorErikFadeI think it’s a matter of insecurity that’s completely validated. Feeling insecure about your partner not wanting to spend time with you while having the will to completely detach themselves from you the moment something(that I acknowledge isn’t real) gives them something they want. It feels emotionally selfish in a way. Things aren’t perfect in life/relationships and that’s how people can grow together and mature. Where as someone who has made an AI bend to their thoughts and give them all they want to hear I feel would stunt their ability to communicate effectively. You can’t compromise on things in your relationship because your partner doesn’t communicate with you about their problems and doesn’t want to hear you out on yours.
I've heard of the game apps where you can have a fake boyfriend or girlfriend and I don't see the appeal of them I'd rather have a real life person to talk to someone I can actually spend time with you know see face to face with physical hang out with why lie to the people who know you and say you have an SO when you know your SO is not real they're FAKE they literally live inside your phone or on your computer
@@nerdygeekgamer5528Eh. I can kind of get it. Especially for people with mental illnesses (me). Piggybacking off of OP, there's a sense of anxiety that comes with not being able to control the narrative. Not knowing what other people are thinking.
You don't have to worry about that with an AI. They'll just listen and respond in the way that you think is appropriate (eventually). From my perspective, I haven't used these bots for extended periods of time, but it's cathartic. It's a good way to vent. But I don't think it's very fulfilling.
For story 3, I’m gonna be so honest, I think NTA. If you told your partner what you want, they acknowledged they heard and understood you, and they did the OPPOSITE?? Thoughtless. I told my now wife that I wanted to be proposed to publicly and wanted to make sure I was dressed/hair and nails done. What did she do? Buy me a dress “just because”, treat us both to mani-pedis and proposed at a restaurant with someone hiding to capture the moment. It felt thoughtful and lovely and still so spontaneous and surprising because SHOCKER it wasn’t wildly out of character for her to be kind and thoughtful. THATS why I wanted to marry her
right? at the very least, op said that the proposer didnt have as much attachments to the grandiose dream but agrees to it because it makes op happy, then that happens? Maybe doing the exact dream wasnt possible, but really? bedroom proposal is not even an acceptable level. But at the same time its probably just some casual conversation ahout dream weddings and that verbal agreement doesnt hold that much power and maybe the proposer didnt even remember she agreed to it but yeah, proposer knew what op wants since shes expressed this desire throughout the years and couldve put more effort and use what available resource she has but no. she settled for no effort bedroom proposal.
Glad they're happy now tho
When my husband proposed to me it was before we lived together. His young daughter wanted to be a part of it. She called me before hand and said “we decided the surprise is going to be today.” When I got there and the process started she handed me the ring with the ring box closed and it was not how I always dreamed it, but it was perfect at the same time. Apparently they had it all planned out but she was too excited to follow the script they’d prepared 😂❤ I feel very blessed to be getting such a warm welcome from my step-daughter.
Not remotely comparable to the issue with the proposal in the thread, but very cute.
Oh my goodness 🥹 - this is so adorable!!
every sentence of that last one made me fucking GASP. it's like, he has the _crumbs_ of something good in there. things like being willing to learn how to please a partner are important in a relationships. but it's so obvious he's only putting that in there to sell himself as the "nice guy". Arasha is so right how those things really just need to come organically, or from actual face to face conversations about views on things like sex and love languages. not fucking STATISTICS. he is 100% a product of the manosphere. i've never seen a grindset dude go to this degree in a romantic relationship and it's literally mindblowing. all of these men think that if they check all the boxes (in this case, LITERALLY) then they're entitled to getting whatever they want out of a partner, and then throw tantrums when no one wants them.
there's one silver lining to this story, and it's that OP got a detailed, analytic summary of how much of a psychopath this guy is. holy fucking shit.
All the cringe!!
I know that last one had my jaw on the floor. It’s so wild to me that there’s people who think like that.
It sounds like it was either written by ChatGPT or is the result of combining autism, linkedin culture and red pill podcasts.
His differently is a Andrew tate fan
Third story: I think there's an element of needing to make it special that was missing. She still could have done it at home, but maybe taking her out beforehand to her favorite restaurant, or giving her a spa day beforehand. Little things to make your partner feel seen and loved and making the proposal the cherry on top.
yesss! i think the same! if my gf just proposed to me in a dirty room i would be upset too, ngl. and OP said she had talked about how important were these milestones for her and how she had dreamed of it.i don’t think her gf is an AH but i do think it was a liiiittle inconsiderate
i think they are just different types of people, gf 1 likes big meaningful moments and gf 2 seems to care about being with who she loves no matter where, both are valid but they either didn't talk about it enough to see each other's perspectives or just don't match in that aspect
Fr I don’t think Op was completely wrong for wanting a special moment, but the big reaction was a little much. On both sides I feel OP‘s girlfriend’s idea of using, the comfort area as the proposal place was nice, but it just needed to be more special. like a homemade meal or getting both their favorite takeout watching each other favorite movie. She could’ve at least cleaned the bedroom up a bit. But I was nice idea on Op’ girlfriend just feel, was poorly executed but the tantrum op had i’d feel upset too.
Yeah! I don't think she was the a-hole at all. It did not sound thoughtful at all. I don't think it's superficial to want some effort. Like take them out for a romantic date or something, it doesn't even have to cost anything. She did say that her gf knows that she likes romantic milestones so I do think the gf should have put in some effort.
Exactly, it'd be different if she put in effort, but she didnt
27:30 giving examples of places to be proposed to and the first one he says is on a hike... where he proposed, how cute!
Shaynes psychology degree really shines in this series.
i think this all the time!! the way he very calmly explains his theory on what the person is going through psychologically im like YES KING USE THAT DEGREE!! lmao
Shayne yelling ‘there it is there it is!’ When the op said he was hoping his wife would get a nice bf or GF, took me by surprise but complete understood the feeling lmao
The most shocking part about the letter one is how cowardly it was. He clearly sent that thinking “oh she’ll have a little freak out and I won’t have to deal with it in person”
Honestly it sounds to me like he just treated it like a business proposal and not like a real relationship 🙄
@@raeg1100yeah the dude wanted a business partner, not a girlfriend lol
@@bunnyellabellyour partner is most definitely either your greatest investment or your biggest liability
@@bunnyellabell Its christian gray with a bit of sheldon cooper which is creepy.
Now it may be my autism but tbh I appreciate the proposal idea and the honesty in it. I kinda wish on first dates u had a simple-ish printout of stuff kinda like that u exchange, read, and then decide if u still want to continue with a date😂😂😂😂
I love Arasha in these videos, she just has such balanced, insightful and mature takes. And Trevor is just precious. Probably one of my favourite episodes so far.
first story is already pissing me off, i personally show my affection via gift giving, and rule number one is don’t expect the same from others. shayne said it really well, if YOU spend a lot of money on a gift and expect the same monetary value in return then it wasn’t a gift. not everyone shows affection that way and the sooner you learn that the happier you’ll be. also she clearly put a lot of effort into that gift and if op really cared about gift giving he would have adored that because it shows how much time and thought went into the gift
Everyone's bad takes are pissing me off. I'll admit he's a dick for reacting badly, but she's a dick for not even giving half a thought to what he might like. He explained that gaming is big to him. Asking and expecting a PS5 is a bit much, but she didn't even THINK about what else he might like. She didn't think "Oh, maybe he'd like x game" or "I can't afford a PS5 but I could maybe get him x accessory for it" or "I don't have much, but even x amount could start a saving towards getting one". Like, there were plenty of options of things he WOULD like that she could have gone down, including just starting a PS5 fund or putting one on layby (lay away?) for a combined x-mas/b'day gift or SOMETHING but nope.
She doesn't give a shit about him at all or what he likes. She literally pulled the "if I make something 'sentimental' he can't be upset" card. Fuck that. Girl didn't even care enough to think.
Finally someone says what I've been thinking @@7thlittleleopard7
agreed but tbh his problem isnt even the gift giving but like help he shld NEVER date until his mindset abt r/s and love change
@@7thlittleleopard7 lol “everyone’s bad takes are pissing me off so here’s my even worse take.”
She could have told him she couldn’t afford it. Why’s everyone acting like because it’s handmade, he was to be so grateful for it
The letter at the end is fucking insane. Like I feel like he heard “communication is key” and took the worst route. I feel like these sections all need to be separate conversations, and there needs to be a little wiggle room for compromise. Dear god. No wonder he’s single at 38.
4:55 "My love language is receiving Playstations" - probably true for most teenage boys
Proposed to on a hike? Now we know why Shayne
I passively said "The friend just wants to sleep with her" while watching this and that actually being the case is so funny
I never would've guessed that but then again I've never really understood men so 😅
I continue to be impressed by how emotionally mature and deeply empathetic Arasha is. It's always surprising to be reminded she's still not even past 25.
she booked!
“Gold digger of an ex girlfriend” as if he weren’t gold digging for a ps5?? Also a true gold digger wouldn’t have left, why would a gold digger leave the money?? Make it make sense 😭😭
Classic projection + lack of self-awareness combo.
@@JUNJYR Also major copium
Okay but the "friend", Josh, in story number 4. A legend maybe, but also a complete sociopath.
Oh, 100%. But maybe he thinks he's using his sociopathy for good?
Yeah, that was extremely skeevy from both the husband and Josh. Both sides were bad, but Josh was just creepy and predatory.
@@EStramel09yeah, especially with the way that violet turned OP down for sex bc she “didn’t think josh would like that” ??? I feel like they overlooked this weird energy where the men in her life are just not considering her wants or needs at all. Did she really find better or was she just shuttled into a new man’s arms?
Yeah the manipulation thing was really weird
@@nootdraws i seriously found it weird they commended him like he was a better partner when he literally set up a plan to get with the women he wanted who was in a marriage with his friend like in no reality would he be a better partner because the who basis of their relationship is built of large scale manipulation
1st guy said his love language is RECIEVING gifts lmao
He said giving and receiving but I mean I’ve taken love language tests and it does ask you about your partner giving you gifts and how you feel about it.
He also GIVES GIFTS!
I had to learn how to pull back from gift giving.
Giving gifts doesn't magically change the relationship you have with someone and can be involuntary lovebombing behavior.
I communicated this after I started getting frustrated that my sibling was being a bit entitled.
However I realized that I was willingly putting myself into positions that ended up making me feel certain way.
Desperation can make you try to force level emotional connection, that you haven't done the work to achieve. I hated how my dad treated gift giving, but you cannot blindly give.
Gift giving can be treated as a cheat code to get validation and confidence boost.
He was giving prince charming shrek 2 but without the prince or charming
* Receiving Expensive cost 500+ 😂😂😂😂
The whiplash from having Sabrina on in the last one and Arasha in this one is insane. Arasha is such a nice, warm, genuine and thoughtful person.
Sabrina is also genuine and thoughtful lol… backhanded as hell
@@edward3591 didn't get that impression from the last episode, some absolutely garbage takes with 0 empathy
Right! I felt so relieved when I saw that Arasha was on this episode.
WHY DOESNT THIS HAVE MORE LIKES?! It’s so true🫣
I was just about to comment this! I totally agree, the whiplash is real.
My sister in law bought me a book for christmas.
It wasnt just any old book though - it was a book from a novel series from my favourite author, where my very own son's name came from.
I got emotional because i was so happy.
My husband's grandmother gifted me a bag of cucumbers.
Weird, stupid gift?
Oh hold on there -
These vegetables were from her garden and she grew them herself. I grow produce too as a hobby, so i know just how long some things take to grow.
The thought behind it is the gift. And an amazing one.
They came in a small, netting-type produce bag, which she made herself, too.
And lastly, my sister's gift to me was a SANDWICH.
Yes. A sandwich.
A cheese and tomato sandwich.
- she made the bread.
- she made the butter.
- she grew the tomatoes.
- she made the cheese.
Amazing. Amazing gift.
And it was an amazing sandwich that i really, really enjoyed.
People showing me their love, time and effort are the best gifts of all.
Hey, the OP is different to me and we dont think the same. I get it.
But if his love language really is gift giving/receiving, then he wouldnt have poo-poohed his girlfriend's THOUGHTFUL gift.
It takes a while to put together and process a photobook.
Seems like you have some amazing people in your life!
@@KJ-co5bn
Yeah, I really do.
I'm incredibly blessed and very, very grateful 🙏
The guy with the relationship proposal took the plot of Fifty Shade to heart.
I felt like telling the guy in the last story: I charge 100 per hour, I want a retirement plan, health, dental, and vision insurance, 4- week yearly paid vacation. I charge double after 8 hours, 2 breaks and 1 hour lunch., I have a minimum of 2 hours charge if I'm on call and yo I requested a service 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Immediately thought this is 50 shades... But vanilla af 😂
@@alexiatrHeck, hit him with all the elaborate social rules you had to go through to see a high-ranking courtesan in Edo-period Japan--long waiting line, the first two times you see her it's like JUST a date and there's no (makes bed-springy sounds) until the third time, INSANELY high food and drink costs because you have to provide a nice dinner for her entire troupe of side-servants to show you're properly generous and wealthy...basically, if a recurring customer doesn't have to seriously think: "I can go to Sachiko again...or I can eat this month", your prices as a "lady of the evening" are too low. :)
I'd be tempted to send him that one video by Linfamy that explains all the insane unwritten social rules of seeing a courtesan, and just be like: "That. If you can match that, we'll talk about your silly little proposal". :P
in reference to the gift giving story: my boyfriend has made me a dice box and dice tower as gifts for my birthday bc he knows i love playing dnd, they are easily the best and most thoughtful gifts i've ever received.
thoughtful gifts >>>> expensive gifts.
always.
yeah but you actually wanted that
@@ComedyGlor I actually never mentioned wanting anything like that to him, all my bf knew was that I like playing DND!
While I agree thoughtful > expensive, I think @ComedyGlor's point it that they got you something that tied to what they know you liked, and thus it was thoughtful. The bf (yes, he is materialistic, unrealistic, and needs to mature) was very obvious about what he liked. If I was the gf and couldn't afford a PS5, I would have had a discussion about something adjacent to his interests, like new games. I commented this elsewhere, but her gift seems to me like she's trying to show him what matters to her - their quality time together sans game. If the game play is interfering with their relationship (and by his description it sounds like it does), I'd have an open and honest conversation about that
My thought is he definitely is looking at the price tag. "She obviously spent less than $40 on it" yeah he was putting a sticker value on gifts and pry made her feel like shit for having that reaction
Proposal story: I feel like the issue isn't necessarily the lack of effort put into the proposal; it's the fact that her girlfriend (fiancée??) knows that she's very big on celebrations and likes to go above and beyond for special occasions but chose to propose in their bedroom. Like, it's not a deal breaker but it shows a lack of consideration for what the woman she's proposing to would want as her memory of such a huge moment. I personally wouldn't care how someone proposed to me as long as it wasn't in public, but if you're proposing to somebody who does care, show them you care that they care!!
Same I wouldn’t care as long as there is no family there or in public. I feel more embarrassed if was in front of family than a few friends
I agree with you. It felt very nuanced to me
It’s very much like the PRINCIPLE of the proposal
I agree. I can relate to the OP. I guess they are the AH in the sense that they hurt their fiance, but I don’t totally see them as the AH. I think I would also feel hurt if my fiance proposed to me in a way that made me feel unseen, unheard, and unknown. Feeling “known” is a huge part of love and trust. If I didn’t feel “known” in that huge moment like OP, I might react the same way.
That's exactly how I felt about it too! From the way it was written, I can only assume that OP has explicitly communicated her wants/needs and her Fiancée 100% ignored them. I can totally understand why OP reacted poorly - she had prepared herself physically (nails, new clothes, etc.) and emotionally, and then bam! nothing was right. Plus, if you take into consideration that she spent basically her whole lifetime of imagining that moment too...
Not saying her response was good or excuseable, but I'd honestly react the same unfortunately so I can understand. 😅
My husband proposed to me in our bedroom as a spur of the moment thing. He had a plan (literally to take me on a hike haha) but he said that moment just felt right. I totally agree with Trevor that the only thing that really matters is how much you love that person and want to be with that person. My bedroom proposal feels more memorable to me than a hike proposal would have been anyways!
Listening the the AI chat story eerily reminded me of Ginny Weasley’s relationship with Tom Riddle’s diary in Chamber of Secrets. The way she describes feeling like she had to divulge more and more information to the diary, as well as it making her more reclusive felt so similar to how OP is describing her experience, especially the “spending my evenings in solitude.” Wild story.
Well much like Tom Riddle himself, AI knows exactly what the person listening wants to hear
This is such an accurate and smart way to explain it!! Cause the thing is as cool as AI is ot can get dangerous
This is the best description I've read so far. 10 points to [your house]. 🏆
This made me wonder how we can tell if something is really AI or if it's there's something more malicious going on? People who are secure in their relationships with others aren't going to divulge every little secret or problem to a robot, but someone who is more vulnerable is going to be a lot more susceptible to doing stuff like this story. There are definitely going to be companies and people who have the opportunity to prey on these people and worm things out of them that can compromise their safety and security.
It's one thing to say silly stuff to a robot, even more explicit things like the OP was implying, but she also started telling it her problems and keeping it a secret and changing her behavior because she depended on the AI.
You're definitely right in the comparisons with CoS.
i’m always so impressed by the emotional maturity that these cast members have. you never see this side of them, and it’s really nice to hear how their brain works through this show.
The takes in this episode were definitely better than the last one
Yeah, it can be hit or miss but when it hits it hits hard
i mean arasha has always been so well spoken when she's on this series
people misunderstand “gift giving” as a love language. as far as i can tell, this guy’s love language is “acts of service”
to tell someone, can you get this for me, is more in the appreciation for someone doing something for you because they remembered that you asked.
also he explained it as if monetary value is some kind of technical facet of gift-giving that everyone needs to respect - like the fact that he chose to spend $500 on gifts for her "because his love language is gift-giving" means she would be wrong for not doing the same, when that's 100% not how gift-giving OR love languages work.
People misunderstand “love languages” as a valid psychological principle but really they were just made up by a southern paster so he could continue to gaslight the wives he was giving marital counselling to to keep working on shitty relationships
@@play-foolright if your love language is gift giving and you consider a "good gift" to be expensive then it should give you a lot of joy to give that gift n see your partners reaction and joy, that's your reward for spending the money not the unspoken idea they'll pay you back lol
@@yoda5436 very true. imo, they also both demonstrated a bit of immaturity in the way they handled it in that honestly if you ask someone what they want, Knowing you are going to give a handmade gift that you are hoping they will appreciate for its thoughtfulness, maybe just do not ask, or let them know that what they asked for is way outside of your budget. as for him he's a dick all around, but even so it's still remarkable that he didn't think that maybe he should give her other options besides a $500 PlayStation.
my personal understanding is "act of service" = giving/doing something they don't necessarily want but need and "gift giving" = giving something they don't need but want. my love language is gift giving too, BUT I'd still appreciate whatever people give me because the whole point of it is being *gifted* something, no matter what. is PS5 a cooler gift? objectively speaking, yes imo. but a photo album is still a gift. also she's only 21 ffs you can't expect someone very early into their career to spend so much on you
What makes the AI story really sad (at least for me) is that I know exactly the website she's using because I've used it (albeit not on the extent she has). For anyone curious, it's almost definitely Character AI, it was rather popular for awhile but then they made some dumb decisions and it really fell off leading a lot of people including me, to eventually stop using the website entirely.
There is a ONE MILLION percent chance the first guy is from a wealthy family. It's screaming "it's a banana Michael, how much could it cost? 10 dollars?"