Zemen H Considering you should be raising your kids, not someone else raising them, yes. They need to tell you about that even if it's just giving you a website or book to look into, that's not a schools job. It's more personal then that. In my school, they didn't know how to teach it properly, we couldn't understand it that way(in a classroom style).
@@zhabtema It's extremely concerning you see a parallel here. There is no parallel between teaching acceptable behavior to live peacefully in our society and sex. Some things involving sex may be included in behavior, like don't touch yourself in public, but there's NO direct parallel. Frankly, it's a creepy proposition and I hope it stems more from the privilege of not having undisciplined children of your race being shot in the street than something more nefarious
Honestly, it all comes down to your child's personality. Not all children can learn discipline from spanking, some learn from other methods like time out, grounding, or even just sitting them down to talk to them. Different methods for different children, figure out your child first before you decide the best method of discipline that will get through to them.
That's all it is, parents who see spanking as a problem don't understand their own children and that's why they get confused when talking with the first child worked as discipline but not with the second.
+Kazimo Yes, I had four children and they all were disciplined in different ways. I never used "time-out" though (that was before my time) and I never had to ground my teenagers.... because the discipline from when they were young had done it's job. I would never spank a teenager... and probably not even a child over 6 years of age.... I didn't have to... but I'm thinking these are now times to talk a lot with them..... if needs be, take away a privilege or give them a job to do...." let the punishment fit the crime".
more like3-9 spankings from then on out grounding restricted gaming, tv, any type of fun for the most part.......getting know your kid...your kid needs to get to know your rules and abide by them....
Coincidence that the females who support spanking also seem to get the most riled up/ are the loud ones who interrupt? Doesn’t seem like they’re very patient people.
Guess they didn't get enough spankings as children to know not to interrupt or talk calmly. Seriously though, all they're doing is showing how angry they are, even though they want people to believe they don't spank out of anger. They can't even hold a difficult conversation with an adult without getting upset, but they don't get angry with their children that can sometimes work a person's nerves? Yeah right.
@rayising even if I gave you the benefit of the doubt and believed that that happened, what's your point? It's anecdotal. This is just like when we have the single mother conversation and people say "well I grew up without a father and I'm doing well." Statistics and probabilities matter more than a single person's individual experience.
@rayising I wasn’t spanked. I got all As in school and now im a student nurse who worked hard to help keep my country alive during the pandemic. Im a polite, kindhearted individual with lots of interests, humility and a drive to help those who need it. You know what the difference between our stories are? There isn’t one. Both are anecdotal and not necessarily relevant. However, I have done placements and worked with children and their parents in child and adolescent mental health services in my country. Including those who have been spanked. I have read countless peer reviewed journal articles and studies that prove that spanking is a negative reinforcer and damages children. It doesn’t matter what either of our anecdotes say because the statistics prove the negative effects spanking has on children, their development and their actions later in life.
@@davidbloxham5062 glad you said that. I bet you the pro spankers would never allow you to spank them for breaking the rules - its just ok for them to spank their kids.
@@geremymason5936 You know my comment about false equivalency here is a prime example. We are talking about kid punishments not adults. To spank a child is perfectly acceptable because they are children and the punishment is relatively minor. When you become an adult, the spanking goes away into more adult punishments like jail, tickets, being shot, tazed etc. When an adult breaks the rules, there are consequences that are far worse than a few whacks on the behind. Can we cut the dumb stuff out?
@@Ryooken it's not a false equivalency and it for damn sure isn't "dumb stuff." Why can't you get a spanking for minor infractions (your words)? If anyone puts their hands on any other person that is not a child, they're getting arrested for assault. Additionally, why can other adults not spank a child for minor infractions? Why is it that a teacher or a principal can't spank a child for minor infractions because that person gets arrested for child abuse? The point is that putting hands on anyone is abuse unless a parent (or possibly another family member that they give permission to) wants to hit their child. In those cases it's OK. Anyone else hitting a child, even for breaking rules and used as a form of discipline, would be taken to jail for abuse. Give me a break.
Sounds like something a slave master says to a slave. That man clearly has anger issues. I mean listen to his entire opening statement. He starts by saying "I don't spank my kids out of anger" then immediately says he spanks his kids if they don't immediately listen BECAUSE it makes him angry.
If you don't do something that your boss tells you to do right that second are you disobedient or just thinking for yourself? We have been hard wired into raising children that will be good middle class workers that have to do things on their own and do what they are told the first time. We hit them until they fear thinking for themselves. Yes, parents usually know best for their toddles but, toddles understand things when you explain things, they don't nee to be hit.
Spanking doesn't make your children respect you, it makes them fear you. Although, sometimes fear turns into hate and you will start asking 'what did I do wrong? '.
It makes them respect you and fear you. And what's wrong with your child fearing you if it causes them not to do wrong? And by the way fruity loop what a stupid name that is even even a TH-cam name, They don't fear you they fear the consequences. I know you'll have a stupid response.
While this is true, saying no repeatedly without a proper punishment can give a child the idea that they can continue doing it because if the parent isn’t gonna stop it who will?
When I was younger and got spanked by my parents, it wouldn't make me understand "discipline", instead I felt anger towards them and it made me want to do the same thing over again. So spanking does not work well for everyone.
Dre I don’t like when some people do that to there own kids they are still baby’s this really crazy it’s not going to help what they are doing if they go to school someone will see something on the kids body’s there’s something wrong with them really they will ask or the kids will say something they are not stupid theses kids they will say something to someone like in school or some family out there. mom & dad never ever spank me and my sister when we where kids till now never ever we know what’s wrong & right there’s something wrong with it.
This man gets it. Violence only breed anger and potentially more violence. Or fear and avoidance behavior. Kids don't learn anything from violence. Ill say this as always - anytime someone condones hitting their kids as punishment for breaking rules, just ask them if they are ok with the police hitting them for breaking the law. When they say no, youll know they're a hypocrite.
You obviously dont know what you are talking about. Maybe you should start doing real research. How disciplined are your kids. Its funny how those that were spanked understand what its about compared to those who werent. If you dont know about it, mind your business
How does using a different word change anything? You can say that killing is not the same as murdering, such as if a soldier 'kills' a person, but this does not take away from the fact that a person is dead due to the actions of another. You can say that spanking is different to hitting or abuse but they achieve the same results (www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2016/04/27/study-spanking-nearly-detrimental-abuse/X44bY3WymbVSv9LSRrKLWL/amp.html). So go ahead and use a different word, but all you're doing is giving yourself an excuse to justify using physical violence over reason and compassion with your own child.
there is a complete difference between Spanky and abuse, spanking as it's just a couple of Pops on their behind as far as abuse you're going out of your way to hurt someone else for no reason just to inflict pain.
Spanking is no excuse for not trying another form of punishment. There have been countless studies that say spanking or physical abuse is the least effective method for correcting bad behavior. It’s way better to know what things your kid likes and dislikes and use that to your advantage. Be smart. Be consistent. Don’t spank.
The woman who said “I talk to my kids first and tell them why they are getting a spanking”, that was my mom. I still didn’t appreciate it. It didn’t work, I would still do the same things over and over. But thankfully, my mom changed, she started using love and teaching moments and then all of sudden I became a better child. The whoooings didn’t help me.
And the non spanking lady made a good point "if you're gonna tell them, then why the spanking?" And all they could do was loudly scream over them with Bible quotes. Sums up the mindset of the pro spanking crowd quite well.
By hitting a child when not angry this gives the clear message that physical abuse can be a normal and acceptable way to get something from another person. It also teaches the child to be 'good' and act a certain way out of fear of punishment instead of a want to be nice and good; which teaches them to lie to and hide things from their parents due to a lack of trust and also to not use reason to know how to act but instead just blindly follow what someone bigger and scarier than them tells them to do.
I've been spanking my daughter and I've come to realize spanking isn't a good form of punishment. My daughter was role playing mum with my neighbours kid and she was acting exactly like me. Yelling and ordering her threatening her with smacking etc and I realised that is what she relates being a mum to be and it was wake up call.
@@blakejameson1114 Let's be rational when it comes to this. We aren't comparing two adults in an equal relationship. We are talking about a parent and child.
That was your first mistake. It's not that you shouldn't spank your child. It's that you are out of control. How can you establish control when you are not in control of yourself? Here is the other thing, spanking doesn't work on everyone. Some people it works and some it doesn't. You have to know that.
@Blake Jameson That's not true either violence while unpleasant is sometimes necessary. What's irrational is to create false equivalents that promote a false premise.
I respectfully disagree with Ms. Lisette and Ms. Toya on that particular quote. The phrase "spare the rod, spoil the child" comes from a 1662 satirical poem called "Hudibras" written by Samuel Butler, and it wasn't written anywhere in the Bible. However, the phrase from Proverbs 13:24 is "Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him." That quote means teaching a child through discipline, responsibility and accountablity, it doesn't mean advocating for corporal punishment.
Thank you for this! Parents that yield to corporal punishment in my observation do so as a result of their own programming, conditioning, and emotional & intellectual capacities. At a certain point, just as with any evolutionary process in life, there is a smart way and dumb way to do things. While spankings aren’t completely ineffective when it comes to giving a child of sense of discipline, there are more healthier, wholistic, smarter and efficient ways to go about discipline where you can get the same if not better result out of your child 🙏🏽❤️
@FlavoredGenuine I agree with what you unpacked is truth. I'm not trying to be condescending or petty lol. I'm really trying to seek knowledge and prespective because I'm a dad of a soon to 5 year old and 3 year old and am a believer. I hate spanking and yelling at my kids. I want to stop cold turkey cause I feel it's not worth it. My youngest already is started to avoid me. But my question to you in your opinion, Why did the Father God in the scripture allow Jesus the son to get get whipped and beat to death? Is that an argument there to say out of love he allowed that punishment to his only begotten son? So that justify the spanking camp to whip their kids out of love? I hope you understand what I am trying to convey. I'm interested in your response. Thanks in advance.
Notice how the parents who don't spank are more peaceful and more patient when they state their opinions on spanking , and notice when the parents who do spank throw shade and glance mean looks to them . The minute they start speaking , you can actually see their anger and how hot headed they can be...yikes, I am scared; wouldn't want to make them angry😲
They all have anger and take it out against their children. Spanking is just a "nice" way of saying hitting a child. Its just violence against children.
@@geremymason5936 That’s not true. This is a selected group of parents and this is tv. Abuse is different from spankings. If seems that your just being soft and can’t handle getting slapped on the butt.
@@fantasybouthour6679 as a kid who was spanked, I don't want your pity. Like Steve said, I'm grateful on how I was raise and that's something you just cannot understand
The first thing the dude says is "I don't spank out of anger" then immediately he says he spanks his kids if they don't listen because it makes him angry.
He said he does it when they don’t listen the first time Bc if he let them do it more than that then it’d make him angry. So technically he’s actually not spanking out of anger
@@lovelybae9451 That's like me saying "I slap my wife around twice a day because if I don't then I might punch her once a week". He basically admits he's taking his anger out on his kids early because he can't handle himself if he's angrier. He's saying "If you make me mad I'm going to hurt you much worse than if you hadn't made me mad".
Well at the end of day spanking is legal. And if that type of discipline works best for that specific child, then the parents have the right to do that.
@@lovelybae9451 So is domestic violence as long as the woman doesn't press charges. You'd think that people would understand the law isn't always right. It doesn't force compliance and it doesnt protect the people.
So without someone using physical force against you you wouldn't have been able to become a reasonable or kind person? You have such a low opinion of yourself 😢
There are no one size fits all method that will work on all children, it depends on each individual child. Spanking may work on some child but not the others, same thing goes to other method such as timeout/naughty step, grounding, loss of privileges etc. I'm Asian, I do spank my kids as well, but only as the consequences for misbehavior that serious injury is foreseeable. Other wise I would use other methods like timeout, grounding, or other consequences that fits that particular misbehaving. The most important thing when discipline your child is to be consistent and not in anger. You should also explain reason why you discipline them.
Not to mention that they are OBVIOUSLY supported by Steve...I love how he opens up a given topic that he can't be objective on, nor his audience, but seems to act as a moderator...
Yeah, lets see you act all calm when random people accuse you of abusing your beloved children on national TV. I am sure you would just sit back and say nothing huh?
@@catmani2 you don't love your children truly if you spanked them. But I would stay calm. Definitely. I think the person not answering your dumb question is because: There won't be situations where it would happen because you know she doesn't spank her kid and doesn't agree with it. Stop spanking your kids if you have one and read books on how to treat your kid. There are so many ways. You have to do them and not resort to violence which causes damage to them later in life. Or become like you.
I was spanked as a kid all the time. Sometimes it went borderline abusive. I kneeled on salt or green peas in front of the altar. My parents were trying hard to be religious. I cant even remember what i did wrong. It didnt work. Now i dont go to church or communicate with my parents. I dealt with my childhood differently perhaps. I didnt grow up unruly. I grew up normal. I think its my own conscience that tells me right from wrong. Its not because out of fear that my parents would hurt me. Its the consequences of my mistakes that prevents me from making it. Thats what needs to be taught to children. Physical punishment teaches fear and pain but not the responsibility or consequences.
Well thats ur experience So sorry But wat ur saying is wrong For someone who doesint know ryt from wrong (KIDS) Fear is the way to teach them Kids respond to fear not to motivational talks and all T They dont care wat u think because they dont understand it
@@mandlamajola8500 don’t sit up here and invalidate someone’s else’s experience and say what their saying is “wrong” cause it’s not kids learn in different ways and fear shouldn’t be one of them
the ladies who were said to be old fashioned were so aggressive. if that is the kind of behaviour they condone or show their children i would be afraid for the kids. and they said they wouldn't do it out of anger when the got angry just because they disagreed with the ladies.
@@sorryimwrong433 I don't care if it's tv - these people were not acting. That's how they really are and they obviously have a lot of anger because they can't even have a civilized conversation with adults without getting angry.
I think that SOME individuals who are for the "new school" parenting were ABUSED as a child, beat out of anger (some of which may have had nothing to do with them) I.e. Alcohol & therefore are afraid to be repeat offenders.
In my perspective there is a thin line between abuse and spanking. Both inflict pain, but it's for different reasons and on different levels of pain. The moment a parent starts hitting out of anger it's abuse, because it's not about what the child did wrong anymore, it's the parent taking their anger out on the child. While in some situations spanking with the correct motive is okay, it's not alright for every child because it confuses some. In their perspective it's like "You just told me you loved me, and now you're hurting me??" Or something along the lines of that. It's preferable to me to go through a more peaceful practice of discipline by taking certain privileges away or let the child calm down on its own if it's destructive in its melt downs. Even if you would want to make sure the child gets better and try to comfort them, they could end up hitting you or learning it's okay to have destructive meltdowns. Regular meltdowns which is basically just balling and crying, you should comfort the child and make them know it's okay to cry. You just can't be destructive about it.
It’s not that they are afraid to be repeat offenders themselves it’s that they literally know the emotional pain and suffering that comes from being smacked as a kid. There is such a thin line between spanking on the wrist for going to touch a hot stove and smacking your kid. It’s best to just avoid it all together and not lay hands on your child.
Or they studied sociology where mostly low-class individuals spank there kids. Lol most low-class citizens are also more likely to be in jail, commit suicide, and etc. Most bad kids I’ve met are from the lower class. In psychology, spanking increases aggression and depression. (Don’t believe me, I have countless research on this subject). Notice how the old school side seem to be more of the aggressors here. Plus those who use the Bible as justification for spanking also must know that at this time, that religion is falling. (Shows the affectiveness of spanking right there) and In more civilized countries than the US (in terms of education, career success, and crime rates) spanking is actually outlawed. (Sweden, norway, etc). It’s funny that most Americans agree with this method as it’s actually a rather new. “What do you mean?” You say, well children were treated way different before the Atlantic slave trade. Now during that time, many Africans were whipped if they did not obey their masters (which I believe is where spanking was originated from). Hence why many African Americans believe it is an effective way of discipline. Although the aftermath of slavery was drastic with the effects of it still happening today. Many African Americans that I know personally lack the self-esteem to rise up and help out their community due to the way they were disciplined.
Physical abuse is not spanking. When they talk about spanking, it isn't meant to be punching and beating up. Spanking is getting a belt or smacking your child's bottom. Yes, you inflict pain, but not enough to actually cause physical damage. My three siblings and I were spanked as kids and we hated it but we're definitely going to be spanking our future kids because we know the logic and effectivity behind it. I honestly CANNOT think of better parents than mine. My dad is the safest place for me and there is no one in this world more incredible and loving than my mom.
I grew up being spanked by my parents, mostly by hand, sometimes with my dad's belt. I've always thought I would do the same with my children, but recently i've begun to wonder if it may subconsciously teach children that getting physical is the way to solve problems. Now, I would not be the flowy "let's just sit and discuss" parent, but I feel like maybe time-outs and losing priviledges could be enough, and they can be done calmly.
Children are capable of understanding that parents hold the authority to spank them, and that they do not hold that same parental authority over a peer that does them wrong
Every kid responds differently. Some that don’t respond to time outs might respond to grounding. Some that’s don’t respond to grounding might respond to spanking. It’s all about how your child is
Haley .JustHaley they can be. They know they are not stupid sweetie theses are kids you can’t just hate them they will till anyone. On body of little kid it can live a mark on the body what’s theses mom out there think doing to there own kids come on it not going to nothing really it’s crazy it’s not the 80’s. If there where teenagers that’s different going out with the wrong people
Morbid, you wrote that you didn't spank, yet your children are "respectful" as teens. I believe I understand that you are keeping it short, and you intend that they are good, decent, self-disciplined human beings. There are people who will respond, "Yeah. For now. Just wait." Well let me tell you something: I didn't spank either. I had ZERO regrets about that back then. Now, they are both nearly 50. I have ZERO regrets about that now. They are good, loving wonderful people still.
I was spanked and I’ll never do it to my kid. I love and respect my parents but I had to go through therapy to undo trauma in my physical body as a result. I’m a yoga teacher and very in tune with my sympathetic nervous system responses as an adult. A lot of in is programming from being hit as a kid. Parents, do some yoga and meditation. You won’t want to cause physical pain to your child in the name of “discipline”. You kid needs a hug not a hit. Physical pain leads to deep seeded resentment and therapy sessions as an adults. What most parents think is spanking is abuse. It often escalates. Long term depression and anxiety are the result. Spanking will be long gone in a few generations.
Seriously? Therapy for getting spanked? Everone was spanked including me. And in retrospect, I deserved it because my parents only spanked me when they warned me twice or thrice.
Personally I am on the new style side of the punishment I think that if you can’t solve a problem with violence in any other scenario, then why would it be ok to do that with a small child? To me it seems like society does not view children as humans otherwise the people that do spank would not see a difference of hitting another adult to solve a problem vs hitting a kid to solve a problem. Either way you’re hitting another human which the last time I checked, you can’t do
Why do worthless people like Mr. Brown compare spanking your child with hitting someone else? Also why do worthless people like Mr. Brown call it violence when it's nowhere near violence? Also why do worthless people like Mr. Brown call it violence when it's nowhere near violence? Stop trying to make yourself appear smart because you're stupid.
I will never spank my children. I was spanked and it had negatively affected me and traumatized me. It was borderline abuse. I would be doing my math homework and if I didn't get the correct answer, boom, I would be smacked. And then through the tears all I would be focused on is what can I say so I don't get hit, not the freaking math problem. I love my parents but that is one area I do not agree with. They would get so frustrated with me, because obviously you're not very good at explaining the problem, so they would take their anger out on me. Instead of finding another way of explanation. Oh and I never had any behavioral problems. All of my spankings and punishments were the results of me getting a C or worse on an assignment. Like I remember I got an F on my math quiz once, and I was so terrified of bringing it home, I ran to the bathroom and hid it. Like seriously, the emotional scars those punishments have caused, I'm still dealing with it. There is a better way to deal with children to where you don't stoop down and have to spank them to get your message across.
children need dicipline .. but when done in anger it can really affect their self esteem. . let them know who's in charge and following through with positive dicipline is key.
Its not that you are beating them up until they are almost dead, its to help the brains of the childs who are *YOUNGER* understand that what they did was wrong, because if they are getting their ass whooped every time they do it, they surely wont do it again. Now if its the first time of the child doing that thing thats wrong, i'd recommend you to talk to them, if they keep repeating and repeating that bad thing, i think they deserve to be spanked. Also they tend to respect you more. I repeat, it is NOT beating them up, its a little spank to make sure they wont do it again
@@manuelemilioaquinoaraujo3154 I agree and also it depends on what discipline is best for YOUR child, just because your child can't learn from whoopings doesn't mean others can't
@@lemonynya no it wasnt, the other side was much more quiet with ONE person speaking mainly and the other side was cutting them off, getting annoyed and impatient and not really listening to understand but to respond.
"I don't hit my child out of anger, I hit my child out of correction" "I'm not gonna tell you 10 or 12 times now I'm pissed off and I'm gonna hit you" I'm old school all the way but he contradicted himself
@@LegacyProVideo He didn't contradicted himself at all. Ya'll simple minded idiots just don't pay attention. That's what happens when you use emotions rather then common sense. Get yourself some common sense. He didn't contradicted himself at all.
@@jeremiahtray5621 Okay, so if you’re gonna argue and call people idiots, actually make an agrume the for your side...! The quotes above show that he did, in fact, contradict himself.
@@geremymason5936 yeah i do, why? The belt is just the punishment if I disobey or make a tantrum (which I didn't make even when I was just a kid) people will say it is wrong but for me it is not. Literally, I was raised completely differently from them. Because my dad would always be there for me. Forced me to go with him even and I learned more things from him then my generation could ever do. He not raised me by a belt, he raised me by being there for me, especially in my teen years. I want to say I grew up but I have much more to learn by him then anything at school. School grants you knowledge but my dad gave me skills and discipline, workmanship, and respect. And to have that is a must. In the end I realized how much my gen sucks
@@hoodlum4511 what youre talking about has nothing to do with hitting a child. The way you came off to me was you saying your dad abusing you made you a better person. Don't think its abuse? Go take your pet out in public and hit it with a belt for misbehaving and see how people react. Let someone find out youve been mistreating your pets - they have you locked up. Its abuse to hit an animal but hitting your child, well thats a-ok. Give me a break. Your father could have done all of that without hitting you. Just saying.
You didn't understand. He said, he did not use the method that you described “I've told you 12 times, now I'm pissed”, he said that he told his child one time and if the child didn't behave, then he would spank the child, not out of anger like in the scenario in the quotes. So you are faking the context in order to make the guy look inconsistent and bad. If you are doing it intentionally than you are a SOB, but if you truly misunderstood what he said than I hope I explained it to you in this comment.
@@gheorghebirca the fake context is what you typed. This big ole man says he will tell a 3 yr old something once, and then spank them if they don’t do it. That is insane. He just said a child doesn’t understand reason/verbal communication. They remember being hit!!! That’s what this man right here said. AND it’s a little boy. What 3 yr old learned a lesson the 1st time. Our community is a joke, starting with this man who obviously cannot lead using his words.
I'm with Steve. I grew up having a dad that beat my ass for everything..now granted my dad was young and didn't have the opportunity to learn different discipline methods. I got a spanking for talking in class . Looking back on the situation I'm more surprised my dad take this as a moment to pat me on the back because I never made new friends growing up. I was always the quite and tiny kid in the corner and for a while my mom, dad and teachers were getting concerned. So what one day I broke out of my shell and was talking. Tell me not to talk in class and be happy that I actually trying to make friends instead of spanking me for it
The “Spare the rod, spoil the child” quote is taken out of context often. The word “rod” in the Bible is also used for sheep herding sticks that sheep herders use to guide and direct sheep. In that context, the rod can be seen as not a tool for spanking, but a tool for correction.
“Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.” Proverbs 23:14. No honey. The “rod” in the discipline context absolutely literally means to strike. Look into the original language. You are incorrect.
@@D2014-u5i and no honey you are worshipping a "religion" that was derived from pagan beliefs and using it as an excuse to abuse your children. The bible also says not to provoke your children but its the selective hearing that has you justifying abuse. That same bible was a political apparatus to control people even in ancient times. But go off...
@@dofco3227 no youre just a horrible parent, impatient and lacking in emotional intelligence. you need to learn your kids. if they're "so bad" you need to take them to a psychologist
I must admit, as a parent, I become conflicted with generational physical discipline and modern-day discipline actions. I have uses corporal punishment when disciplining my children, they hate it, and don't understand it. My son, who is four, speaks ill of living and wants to be on another planet. I have and am still learning how to use communication, patience, eye contact, time outs (when necessary). When I am repetitive, and ask him to repeat verbal standards, he gets it. When we start off with a new job, relationship, or skill, we stumble/make mistakes. Same for kids. They are new to life. They are so curious, anxious to see, touch, and gain experience with technology, interactions, and life's infinite curiosities. They should not be struck. At no age. Kids who get disciplined, tend to have unhealthy copping mechanisms, and more likely to get into fights due to the lack of patience that has been taught. I understand the ignorance of corporal punishment, however, I condone modern methods of parenting.
Thank you for being so candid about your own personal experiences and educating others on such an important subject. This should be standard knowledge.
Decades of science have proved hitting a child is at best ineffective and at worst harmful. It has been linked to behavioural problems, lower self-esteem, less resilience, mental health issues and unhealthy parent-child relationships
I'm 21 and I was spanked hard when I was child. And everyone of those moments I learned that my dad and mother were the authority and they thought me values and principles that till this day I still practice. Now a days people my age I see them cussing and disrespecting there parents and parents suffer, why it is because they failed to discipline their children when young. Lord knows that if ever comes a day I disrespect my mom or dad a broom will be thrown at my face, and the guilt will make it even worse. So I believe spanking is a gift that has helped me become the man I am today.
+Warsie really? Lol that's funny cause I'm here in a university and I am stupid. It depends how the parent spanks of course if he or she demolishes them then that's messed up
I am old school, I didn't like it when I was young but now I see what it did for me.... it did good. In fact, I look to younger people now whose parents were all easy with them and most of them didn't turn out good at all.
No disrespect to those on the right side, but there is value in learning from the people on the left side if their methods are working. I grew up getting spanked and it worked for me, but if there was a way to discipline without it, I would love to use it. Although many use spanking correctly, I grew up with far too many who used it poorly and left lasting scars (physically, mentally and emotionally) on their children
The same can be said for the new school panel. No one is saying that EVERYONE should spank their kids, but to sit there and act like all spanking is abuse and the worst thing you can do, is ridiculous. There are benefits and that's a fact. Parents who spank aren't saying that you should spank randomly and for any and every reason. If that happens, then yes that's probably abuse, but spanking as a method of discipline works. I was spanked pretty young and I truly don't remember one time it happened. As I got older, I didn't really need to be spanked again because being the child that I was, talking to me worked. During those latter years I was spanked a total of 2 times. My brother on the other hand, he was a different child and needed to be spanked. We both grew up to be completely respectable individuals and we wouldn't change a thing about how we were raised. My brother says all the time how grateful he is for his spankings. Two siblings grown up together, disciplined with two different methods. The panel on the left needs to be more open minded I say!
@@SwaggerChiick1 too many parents on here as well saying they dont or wont spank when they do Too many people judge the parents that use spanking when it dont concern them
i agree. it did not impact me as bad, but it did impact my older brother badly. him being an older sibling makes him mirror my parents' parenting method towards me. and for years i have been hit whenever he got angry, and i believe he has anger issues because of how he was disciplined. i believe it is not the same for every child, but it sure does impact a child's behavior. i used to think it did me well, and while it did because i was rarely misbehaving, my brother didn't take it well. i think it's important that parents should know that they can parent their children without spanking. while it isn't abuse , it is still painful for children. maybe it won't hurt then but it might in the future.
EXACTLY! Spanking is wrong and abuse, period. Child hitters know they are wrong that's why they always use excuses and try to minimize it. They say stuff like 'i don't hit them that hard,' 'i don't hit them to hurt.' The excuses they make shows they know they are wrong
@@CrusaderDom3 hi . Appreciate your statement. I am asian. Ive not only been spanked but been hit with belt as well many times by my mom during my childhood as discipline. Now that I am an adult. I actually felt grateful for her doing that. I understand I needed discipline and there are always painful consequences should I do wrong. Now, am I messed up for thinking this way?
@@idgafidgaf3059 Yes, you probably are. First of all, I know you're damaged because you are justifying it. You are justifying violence against children. That is messed up. You are defending someone who victimized you. Whenever we defend someone who victimize us, it's called Stockholm syndrome. No, hitting your children isn't for discipline. The word "discipline" doesn't mean punishment, it means self-control. Hitting your children because you have no other way of getting compliance from your children is the opposite of discipline.
Old school all the way, it made me a better person I sure have common sense because of that , I sure know know right for wrong. Unlike kids now a days they disrespect their parents
New school all the way, it made me a better person I sure have common sense because of that, I sure know right for wrong. Unlike kids now a days, they have no respect for their parents, only fear.
To me it seems these 'bratty' kids who are told they are precious act out because their parents choose to throw money at their problems and focus on building up their kid's ego's to astronomical proportions instead of focusing on building an authentic parent-child relationship...
@@garbagecan6218 They grown and out my house, as long as you in my house you play by my rules. I am blessed to have a child that learned quickly what i say goes and we don't have that many issues. Spanking a child is in parent hand books written by professionals, took a parenting class. Beating and spanking is 2 different things that most get twisted. I puinsh, talk and spanking is last result (didn't have to do alot) and after any we talked again
When you discipline a child. You teach them how to act, but also how to react. If you spank a child for stealing, they learn not to steal. But they also learn that violence is the solution to stealing. When they get older, they’ll react with violence when someone steals from them.
You are very incorrect. Children are capable of understanding that parents hold the authority to spank them, and that they do not hold that same parental authority over a peer that steals from them, therefore they can conclude through their own internal rationalizations that they cannot resort to spanking as a way of handling being stolen from. Your “logic” comes off as really far reaching, which is what people do when they try their hardest to come up with an explanation that supports their delusional position.
@@LoshYT Your child is not a possession of yours. Just because you have authority over them doesn’t give you a right to hit them. A human being has a right not to want to be hit.
Yo James pretty much quoted my Dad. Dad would say something like Didn't I tell you to take out the trash? Me-Yes. Dad-Why isn't it done? Me-Well dad I had to do my homework, then I was going to... Dad interrupts " BUT WHAT DID I SAY"! Me- Yeah Let me get that trash real quick.
Spanking is an adult temper tantrum. Why is an adult allowed to have a “bad day” when they are tired or annoyed or just feel like it but a child is t allowed too. Why “hit” someone you are legally obligated to protect.
I can't imagine a spanking which isn't out of anger. You say you do it because they aren't listening, that's frustration which is a form of anger. It is physical discipline and there are other, better ways to discipline. You essentially become a bully.
Do you have kids of your own? ok I will clear this up for you sometimes children like to push their parents to a limit I myself have four kids and sometimes disciplining them is the only way some kids are hard if hearing or hard headed I was raised on if you can't hear you will feel and becoming a bully will be in a case where the parent or step parent is constantly beating which has turned into it being abuse. ppl need to learn the difference. why do you guys think that Caribbean children and ppl from the Caribbean have a lot of respect for their elders and such because we were taught right from wrong. I'm a big 32 year old woman own kids won apartment one life I could never be rude to my mother else she will cut me down to size so in effect there is a thin line between giving discipline and being abusive
Because the one mom was basically saying that they were abusing their children. We need to quit acting like we know everything about someone else's home life and focus on our own kids
The moms came off angry (though I'll agree with Melinda), but both fathers on the spanking side, Steve Harvey and James Harrison, came off calm and thought out, so it's not a one sided thing.
I am just so shocked at the amount of ignorace on this subject. Research shows spanking causes mental health issues, suicide attempts and physical health conditions, along with developmental behavior, social and cognitive problems. (Quoted) The old way is not always the right way. Do your research before damaging your child for life. If your short and long-term memory was wiped completely and you had to re-learn everything, would you want to get spanked/hurt (spanking is way harsher when you are that small) every time you made a mistake? So, why do it to an innocent child? This is NOT about being soft - it's about your child's future. If you really care about your child, at least READ and educate yourself on the subject instead of mindlessly making an uninformed personal opinion. And then we wonder why our society is so messed up. Smdh.
It’s not for a harmless mistake though...there are positive aspects to spanking as well. I do not believe that you should just hit a child out of anger but in some cases I can see where spanking may be a positive consequence.
@@dylankylee5127 Imagine using that argument towards the elderly or disabled people. Spanking is never fine in any way, shape, or form. The only thing we are teaching our children is that violence is okay, and causing them trauma. We can teach children about danger in other ways that don't involve spanking. Please stop spreading harmful misinformation.
@@KeishondraMusic People always say that they are "I was spanked and I'm fine", when in fact they typically suffer from anxiety or anger issues, or addictions -or other mental health issues, as slight as they might be. The truth is that you might not even be fully aware of how spanking might have affected you. Also, just because "you're fine" doesn't mean that others will be "fine" too. "I was raped and I'm fine," as an example. Everyone responds to trauma differently.
Quoting: A M @rayising I wasn’t spanked. I got all As in school and now I'm a student nurse who worked hard to help keep my country alive during the pandemic. I'm a polite, kindhearted individual with lots of interests, humility and a drive to help those who need it. You know what the difference between our stories are? There isn’t one. Both are anecdotal and not necessarily relevant. However, I have done placements and worked with children and their parents in child and adolescent mental health services in my country. Including those who have been spanked. I have read countlesspeer-reviewedd journal articles and studies that prove that spanking is a negative reinforcer and damages children. It doesn’t matter what either of our anecdotes say because the statistics prove the negative effects spanking has on children, their development and their actions later in life.
I think it was because the fist lady seemed to be accusing. As if they were punching the children in the face. She even said "smacking them around". Which it isn't. And both sides were talking over each other.
Yes I completely agree with Steve because (and for the record I don't have kids but I was spanked as a child). In the bible, Proverbs 13:24, it says "If one spares the rod, hates their children. But those who are careful to disincline, loves them." Let me start out by saying that when it says they hate their children, it's figurative. I'm almost positive that those who don't spank hate their children. What this means is that you aren't disciplining them in the correct way. Spanking should be out of love, because the parent wants to show them right from wrong. Eventually when that concept is seen in the child they will learn that they wrong way leads to pain. For example getting addicted to drugs or something, if it gets to the point where you have to go to rehab, withdrawal hurts. Your body wants to feel better but because you had let yourself do the wrong, they corrective discipline is pain. My point is that when I have children I will spank them, not out of anger, but out of love.
RiseLikeLions You can say the same thing about rewards. If you’re kind to someone you’ll get something in return. It shouldn’t be that way either, but not everyone can do something just for the sake of doing it.
Amen sister! I agree 1000000000%. I was raised on spanking and as a result, I am now 20 and I have respect and common sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. People nowadays need to discipline their children and not have them run amuck screaming their heads off in a public place basically ignoring them and not doing anything about it. It’s just plain rude to those around them.
Clarissa Vollrath That is literally the stupidest thing I have ever heard. First, using a religious text to justify your actions. Second, how dare you make a claim that if you don't hit your kid, it means you hate them. OK, my mother never once hit me as a child, yet she has shown more love to me than you have ever known. Honestly, some people.
With all of the cool gadgets and technology in this generation, it's so much easier to discipline a child. Taking away video games or letting your kids lose their internet privileges, and being limited to school and homework is probably the most effective way. Kids HATE being bored, and when they're sitting there with no video games or any other fun things to do, all they really can do is reflect on their behavior
When my sons were younger (they are 32 & 26 now). I made them do they things they hated most. Like yard work for 1 and house work for the other. Back I even rented them out to my mom and sister. Punishment works, just learn what your kids hate and made them do it.
use what ever method works. people are to arrogant and narrow minded and think only one way works. whatever method you use as long as you explain why you are giving this punishment to you child then it can work
A child will never understand why their parent hit them - i don't care if you explain it. Since you're ok with kids being spanked as punishment, you would be ok with the police hitting you if you broke the law right? Its the same thing - theyre trying to teach you to follow the rules and refrain from bad behavior. Theyre not beating you - just a spanking.
I was NEVER spanked growing up and I'm a law abiding all around repsctful person My daughter is 3 and she has never and will never get a spanking she too is a great kid 🤷🏼♀️ Every family is different
I got spanked and I’m the exact same as you. My parent wasn’t abusive and my family are considered one of the kindest in our neighborhood. Your definitely right it all depends on the child. Also I think a lot of people think that when a parent says they spank their kids it means they right away spank my parents would give me 5 to 3 and even 10 chances to do better but I wouldn’t. It wasn’t like I got spanked for nothing. Even then I wouldn’t get spanked if it was as small as not doing my chores right
I just don't understand how people hurt someone they care about. You spent all your time making this thing, birthing it, all that, just to make it mad at you, upset and scared of you? What? You are respectable an I agree.
@@calli.gio82 honestly even if you don't spank your child will get mad at you at some point in your life it's apart of being a parent you can't fear your child getting upset with you it's going to happen regardless even when you the ground them even when you say no to something it's going to happen and that's okay your job as a parent is to protect and teach them right from wrong & also be there for them and love them even when they're mad at you spanking isn't a bad thing when done correctly and with thought and reason all I'm going to say you better discipline your kids because if you don't the world will and the world won't be so nice about it like you were
@@shardaemitchell3053 of course I would discipline my kids, and of course getting mad is part of the process. What I don't understand is how people hit children. IT is confusing٫ and there have been studies proven that it is overall not effective, and it only creates fear, and distrust. I don’t want that with my kids.
This is a very controversial subject. I am a Childcare Provider and I have worked with so many families through a period of 15 to 20 years. I have two adult daughters. However, I am not an expert on anyone's child nor am I able to care successfully for a child without working with the family. Your child did not come with any other manual but the one God gave to the two parents that brought him/her into this world. So I would say, raise your child. Whatever it takes to get the task down. Get to know your child. Give your child guidance, discipline, opportunity, and most of all LOVE.
I wasn't spanked as a child and that worked because I don't see my parents as enemies. I respect my parents and see them as friends, I behave the way they want because I wanna be on one line with them.
It sounds like the people spanking are just impatient. Look at their behavior! Jumping over each other speaking to defend themselves. The parents not spanking patiently sit there, obedient, and wait their turn to talk. They are also not as aggressive as the spanking parents. It takes a lot of self-control for anyone to not pass the threshold into anger territory. Do you hit your husband or wife when they do something bad!? Adults are still learning and making mistakes in life... sometimes at the expense of their families. Should we spank them? LOL No!!!! That would be considered domestic violence. What are we really teaching our kids? That love comes with a “healthy” dose of physical pain! No one really knows the damage spanking can have because it’s different for every child and there is no measurable way to assess, how much spanking is too much. At some point they yell back it doesn’t hurt/phase them anymore, “Do it again!”. Spanking is conditioning but it’s not love. How do you teach your kid when mommy or daddy hits you it’s okay but when your partner does, as an adult, it’s a red flag and to run in the other direction!? It's very confusing. Just to be fair, the next time you as an adult step out of line and your parent isn’t there to spank you, give yourself a good one! If your kids are defying you for punishment I can bet there is an underlying cause that can explain their behavior if only they could articulate that better. But you’re never gonna get there if you don’t dig deeper to get to the root of it. If you just stay on the reactive level of spanking for their bad choices you’re teaching them how to avoid you and the punishment. If you can’t find another way to communicate your point about their mistakes, changing your approach to increase your effectiveness, then you aren’t being creative enough. We don’t come home and hit or kick the dog when it does something we don’t like... we condition the dog to do what we want by conditioning/training without getting physical. Why is it different for kids!? To this day my grandfathers and father still refer to it as “discipline” and “punishment” but whose the real judge of that!? The one giving or the one receiving? I was brainwashed to believe I deserved that treatment and that it was "for my own good". Any time a person should get physical with someone is in self defense. Don’t confuse spanking with being a permissive form of abuse. Also on that note I was surprised to grow up to learn three men were difficult boys who made trouble but were never laid a hand on by their parents. They all grew up to make over six figures with healthy positive views of the world and good self esteem. I would have preferred the gentle guidance instead of the physical control.
this is very good take on the matter people feel as though that spanking is the initial default setting . When i think in my opinion on my personal experience made it hard for me to articulate and express how i feel without getting angry or upset. It’s damaging because a lot of people go on by saying that you deserved it when it reality you’re a child trying express and see the world around you. We aren’t perfect human being it’s depressing to see that people use spanking or these excuses to beat children but if it was different instances like partners hitting you it’s wrong . Violence to get a wanted behavior is selfish and it’s inhuman.
Exactly! The Old School parents just come across as controlling and mean..they want to be in control of even the adults that don't agree with them!! They show what kind of parent's they are and guess what? Their kids won't ever see them in their old age! They will rot along in a nursing home or state care because kids don't forget how parents treat them!
RR aye Clart wow you peop are horrible I got spank like a normal amount as a kid and it cause me lots of mental trauma like I flinch when people raise there hands at me your kids are supposed to see love in you not fear it’s parents like you who cause kids problems just cause you can’t go out of your way to parents a way they not hurt your kids
The spanking parents are just shouting while the non spankers just wanna say what they wanna say. Stop being so immature and let people talk, they're just talking about "my parents taught me this and this" but didn't they teach you to let people talk first and not interrupt? Or did they not spank you for that so you just forgot about it? I'm not against spanking btw. Just CORRECTING the child is okay, but when you're hurting the child very badly that's when I say no..
+Aïcha EXACTLY!! Shows the calm nature of the people who come from backgrounds of other discipline methods whereas the spankers seem to want to be right, on top and become irate- irritability like this is the reason alot of parents spank!
spanking parents are immature, that's why they spank their kids. because by doing so, they are allowing themselves to become immature, which doesn't make the parent seem like an adult. more like a kid with bipolar disorder
Hurting the child how I was hurt as a child I was abused as a child I was adopted thank goodness but like I said my biological mother's boyfriend and her both beat the crap out of me and it wasn't spank on the butt it was a punch in the face at kick in the mouth change of the doghouse peed on by raccoons and dogs and feces all over me when a child gets spanked that is not child abuse you're wrong what I told you is correct what I said was all those things that I told you what happened to me that's child abuse that's not discipline that's wrong doing you're beating the child to death but when I go up and I spanked my two-year-old son on the hind in or soon-to-be two year old son I'm not hurting you anyway I'm disciplining you to let him know that hey you know this is not okay to do but do I still love him absolutely but I would never abused my child and if you honestly think spanking is abuse then you're sadly mistaken
Honestly id be like "what? You gonna hit *me* because you don't like that I disagree with you?". Spanking works for some kids but not every single one. When I was small, I was spanked and it was not for me because I'm super sensitive and take things to heart. Because of this, when I was a kid I thought it was okay to hurt people if they didn't do what I wanted them to, and later on I started to equate pain with love because my parents would tell me they love me and that's why they spanked me. I've been in and out of abusive relationships and every time I get hurt I figure it's probably my fault. I wasn't a bad kid. I had my moments but I wasn't a little brat. And I grew up okay but definitely screwed up in more ways than one.
There are different ways to discipline a child. I hate how the people that Are for spanking are attacking the ones that don’t spank. Every child is different.
Exactly this. And if you're one to spank on a case-by-case basis you'll find you don't need to do it often, if at all. Not every kid needs it, and not every bit of bad behaviour warrants it... but spanking can't be off the table.
I was spanked and being humiliated like that didn’t teach me anything. It made me resentful and upset. Maybe it works with other kids but it didn’t make me want to behave-if my mother threatened to spank me it made me want to misbehave out of anger on my part
The old school panel never listens...they never seem open minded to anything the new school panel says. I mean that lady laughed in the middle of the other parent explaining her reasoning.
I didn't believe any of them when they said they don't get angry with their children😂😂 they came to the show angry and it only progressed with the discussion😂😂😂😂
I'm an old school parent. i was raised & disciplined but i wasn't abused/beaten. there is a BIG difference between discipline & abuse. it is our job as parents to teach our kids between right & wrong.don't get me wrong, don't resort to spanking as a first option but as a 2nd or last resort. some kids do respond to a verbal warning but not all kids do. thats when a spanking is called for gain their attention and retain the message we're trying to relay to them. a spanking isn't meant to bruise or harm the child. i also agree with the poll that steve took, i agree that spanking isn't outdated.
You only hit a child because you know they can't defend themselves. You won't hit someone your own size that you feel is misbehaving. You won't hit your child once they become old enough to defend themselves. Capital punishment only teaches kids that violence is the solution or that violence will be used against them if they are not perfect which will cause avoidant behavior, lying, deceit, etc to keep from being punished. I bet you none of these people would be ok if someone hit them for misbehaving. Would you allow you boss to come up and spank you for mistaking on the job? Or your significant other if you did something they didn't like? Would you be ok with a police officer hitting you for breaking the law?Guarantee you wouldnt.
As a parent, you have to lead by example. You’re not only teaching kids how to act, but also how to react. If you whip your child for talking back, then don’t be surprised when you get a phone call that your child has been locked up in prison for beating or killing someone for talking back.
I think there is a fine line between disciplining your child and abusing your child. I believe when a child acts up and doesn't listen you discipline them. I also agree with that man I'm only gonna tell you once don't make me repeat myself. No child deserves to be abused but there are some kids out there nowadays that I look at and say your parents should of whooped your ass when you were younger because they don't respect nobody. The problem nowadays is the parents are more scared of their kids then the kids are of them.
@0:58 Those women couldn't logically answer Stephanie's question. They had to go to their old bag of religious cliches. @2:25 These women can't even let Stephanie finish her point (or ask the question), with out talking all loud over her.
+lizah boss She used a "get out jail free card" aka typical religious cliche, looking at the ceiling, to respond with. She and those other women couldn't deal with how Stephanie was breaking things down and analyzing the issue at hand. So the only thing they could do is yell over everybody, when somebody else disagrees and profess, common religious cliches.
obviously spanking traumatized her that's why she doesn't understand. she's Asian. Asian parents do use anger when disciplining and she just doesn't know anything else but her parents.
I totally agree. The women were trying to be intimidating to the other women in order to get their point across. Instead of being able to articulate a true reason to justify physically violating a child they chose to raise their voice and cut the other women off. That is not respect. they are a living example it teaches disrespect and completely removes communication from a situation.
joe sanchez not when they get accused like this lady stating and comparing a spanking with a beating and therefore calling them child beaters. I don't condone the abuse of a child since I'm a single father of 3 daughters. but I do practice disciplinary action like grounding,talking and a spank once it's and only necessary to assort your responsibility as a parent. methods: not all are bad,but not all are great.
If you don't like being accused of acting violently then educate yourself on the most peaceful way to parent instead of ignoring research and just copying the parenting method used on you.
RiseLikeLions like they said in the panel, different kids need different things. If my child is anything like me then they’re gonna need some extra help, but also like Steve said. Every spanking I got, I deserved. I wasn’t spanked for no reason and I never saw it as abuse.
why does the pro spank ppl who wanna punish kids for bad behavior...like interrupting others while whey talk... talk over the anti spank ppl constantly in this vid, i find that funny, but it also makes the convo hard to follow :(
The spankings, although my mom stopped, really had a long lasting effect. I’m 33 now and still remember having to take all of my clothes off and get beaten.
Hopefully you remind her of this!! She needs to know this and also remind her that in her old age she needs to make plans for her long term care that do NOT involve you!!! Although this could also be a great time for revenge too! My mom NEVER touched me so in my mom's old age she was treated like a queen..I bought her a Cadillac a home in a senior community and took care of her after a stroke to keep her out of a nursing home..Had she did like your mom did, spanking with clothes off..(How horrible is that!OMG) I would have dumped her ass in a home!! Because she was a loving parent that knew spanking was abuse, she had great Golden Years instead of The Twilight zone years haha
You weren't getting spanked, you got abused. There is a difference. If you had to take your clothes off to get disciplined then your mother had some deep rooted issues and passed that on to you. Getting spanked is a last resort for being deliberately disobedient and even then, it should not be to the extreme in which you had the experiences you had
The root problem is really the parenting. I have seen kids misbehave and being rude at my kid's school for the past 7 years. When I see them around there parents, the kids seem to be in control and not listening because many parents don't discipline their kids. They think its the school's responsibility. Nope, it is your job to teach your kid to be a good person and do the right thing.
It's depends on the child. When you know your child, you figure out the best method to deal with them. I know quite a few kids that you just have to talk calmly and be chill and they're good. Then there's some where the only thing that gets them in line is a spanking or sending them back to their home country and they come back as grateful angels.
Lol i know this little girl she's the sweetest thing ever.....but when she's bad....talking doesn't work yet and spanking doesn't phase her. Rewarding her for good behavior so she does more of it, is the only method that she responds too.
@@han2d025 majority of people who were spanked get negative effects like social anxiety and become violent. It is abuse. You are all shameful deniers. Why is it so hard to just admit it?
@@TheNoraa890 As A person who's currently battling severe depression. I can tell you "spanking" didn't cause my depression. I grew up with a strict father. I can tell u this, All the Spanks and punishments made me the better person I am today. Period. I think bringing depression or Anxiety in this situation is irrelevant. Because those 2 issues are caused by Imbalanced chemicals in your brain and not From your skin getting a spank. 😏. Much love ❤.
Question for the old school parenting style people. How hard should you hit your child? I know the open hand justification but what if you hit them too light?! Will they think you are playing with them?? (If so than the punishment is ineffective). If you are not angry doing it, will they fully understand you message!? “Spare the rod, spoil the child” was used and I have a question about that. The verse before it says use the rod like a shepherd. My question is do shepherd spank sheep!? I mean I read a study that most animals would react either scared or go into attack mode if hit. Also society would go ballistic if we “spank” our personal pets. Now I know a lot of people mentioned that spankings have been very effective for them but my question here is what is the percentage of people it was effective for?? (Like conduct a study based on social class, career success, and education success on those who were spank). Isn’t it odd that mostly (emphasis on mostly) lower class and uneducated people use this method? Also in more civilized countries where education success and crime rates are low (hence Sweden) spanking is outlawed and considered abuse. Even psychology mentions that spanking will more likely increase aggression and / or depression with children. Since most adolescents don’t have a full understanding of the world then what makes you think they would know the different definitions between Abuse and Spankings?? Also for the old school parents, do you know about how the brain develops as a child!? And how spanking your child effects brain development?? I have a lot of questions here
I'd say old school NOT all the way, because believe it or not MANY parents can't tell the difference between spanking and abusing. In fact spanking and abusing is pretty much the SAME thing. Since when did hitting a child become 2 separate terms that mean the exact same thing??? To me spanking should be the LAST RESORT. If a kid is hit every single day for simple slap on the wrist things, then that my friends is ABUSING.
I was a hot headed child so I didn't learn from spanking or any discipline methods believe it or not I got worse from that I only got out of my past personality cause I knew that my parents were having trouble with economy my personality changed because of learning my parents hardships so my personality changed from anger to supporting and mild anger I was pretty smart back then but I was smarter to understand peoples hardships some people can't get better with discipline methods
No... beating your children is wrong.. just because your parents did it to you does not make it right. Its 2016.. Why do we still need to make grown adults understand this?
there's a difference between spanking and beating though....spanking is a form of discipline to let the child know there are consequences for your actions. if you beat your child, that's abuse. we have to separate the two, and that means the parents need to be responsible enough to tell the difference
It’s because you’re probably raised by a single mother. Women can help a baby grow into a healthy child, but they can not grow a teenager into an adult. That’s what the father is for.
That's most likely because there was a constant contradiction. She cant gain respect with a switch if she has no personal power to follow through with her threats/demands/requests. Her words mean nothing, zero value. If she had any power at all, just ONE LOOK across the room would make you surrender and comply. Her words are just background noise so she uses the switch instead to see if that will give her additional leverage over you but it doesnt. Actions must be in alignment with words if they're not it's all over. You're rebelliousness is directly proportional to her lack of control, reliability with her rules, and expectations of you. You actually want her to not be such a pushover with her words, be reliable and put the switch down.
my parents spank me out of anger every time, I think, cuz spanking is usually accompanied by yelling and sometimes even insulting. and those moments are specially embarrassing cuz we live in the neighborhood where houses abutting one another and every body around can hear those curses 😛 I don't think that spanking is good in anyway. it hurts me mentally and physically. now just when I hear my father coughing I would cower in fear for no apparent reason at all 😛
Ha LT Rei then your parents did it the wrong way, I got spanked and learned to respect both my mother and father, children are not the same if lecturing helps by all means go for it.
First: www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2016/04/27/study-spanking-nearly-detrimental-abuse/X44bY3WymbVSv9LSRrKLWL/amp.html. Second: are you afraid of authority, be it God, police, teachers or parents? Are you desperate to act in a way that pleases other people? Did you learn how to lie and keep secrets from the people you love for fear of judgement and lack of trust? Just a couple side effects of authoritarian parenting and third: just because you are grateful for someone spanking you, this does not mean that it is then certain that no one is ever effected negatively by it...
I personally think it all depends on how the kids is raised and what they are exposed to. I look at these kids today and they are outrageous. I'm only 21, but I grew up the old school ways. Some of these kids needs spankings and some need other discipline procedures. Anger only comes out when the child was told constantly.
+kelly donovan Its not suppose to feel good. Its called discipline. That's the punishment if the child is told to not do something bad more than 3 times. Spankings is the last resort. I wasn't talking about right off the hand spanking them. I got spankings when I was a child and it helped me to be a better me when I grow up. I'm 21 now and never did any drugs, commit any crimes, nor drinking liquor. Maybe you and the other person misunderstood.
Spanking is wrong for many reasons, i have had experiences with pushing, slaps afrost face, punches, and spankings. I have only learned one thing from the things my parents have to done to me is that self harm is ok. I have thought about it alot, and the fact is, when you hurt a child they think” If you can hurt me, than i can hurt myself.” Kids will reach the point where they are debating to self harm, or not to self harm, and in that moment, if you have spanked them they will think back to that moment and remind themselves that since they can hurt me i can hurt myself. My opinion is that if your child is old enough to understand that what they did was wrong, then they don't need to be physically disciplined, and if they are to young to understand the spanking, then it is just as useless. At that point, the child will be angry at you, and have learned nothing from the spanking. Even worse than spanking in general, is spanking out of anger. It is one thing to talk to kids about what they have done wrong, and explain why they are getting a spanking. But to spank out of anger is never ok, becvause chances are, you weigh almost double your child, and when you go full force at something half the weight as you, it causes double the damage, and at some pointe, theline between abuse and corection will be crossed if you hit in anger. Children can not tell the difference from hitting in anger, and hitting in correction. So maby it would be a good idea to concider a diferent punishment, because there are far more than spanking. It is confusing for a child to hear “ I Love you one moment, then the next moment to be spanked. Children are just learning about life. They are not yet aware that they can fight back, and that they should fight back. Adults think that they are always right, but they aren't always, and it's frustrating for a child to be punished when they aren't wrong. So parents, spanking does not teach
I think, what our children need is TIME with them. Both quality and quantity time. Time to explain to them rules, respect and love. Whether you spank or not, they need to understand why your doing such. The more you spend time with them, the more they understand and trust your way of nurturing them. After all parenting is challenging, but I still believe in the old school way of doing it with some modifications(adapting and omitting what is not relevant in today's world). This one has worked for centuries 😍. We parents need each other for this and a lot of wisdom from Above😊
Spanking instills fear and anger in the child of the parent. It could scar the child and help them develop anxiety issues into later life. You are being violent to your child, the person who relies on you for food and shelter, under law having to stay with you until 18. It creates an environment where fear and punishment rules. They will not feel safe and calm with the parents around. They will grow up feeling like they have no voice and have to watch every thing they do. It is abusive. No question.
You need to explain to your child WHY you did. Most times, spanking is only if your child doesn't have a good enough conscience to discipline themselves.
That's abuse you have to communicate to your child why they are getting a spanking on the butt or a tap on the hand or etc you should never BEAT your child because yes it does cause fear/depression/ anxiety etc
"Don't let the world teach your child what should have been taught at home by you"
Would you also apply that quote to teaching your kids about sex? It's not a criticism, I'm just seeing a potential parallel between the two...
Zemen H Considering you should be raising your kids, not someone else raising them, yes. They need to tell you about that even if it's just giving you a website or book to look into, that's not a schools job. It's more personal then that. In my school, they didn't know how to teach it properly, we couldn't understand it that way(in a classroom style).
Zemen H It applies to everything. What are you trying to say, have sex with your kids to teach them? That's stupid!
Like self respect and boundaries?
@@zhabtema It's extremely concerning you see a parallel here. There is no parallel between teaching acceptable behavior to live peacefully in our society and sex. Some things involving sex may be included in behavior, like don't touch yourself in public, but there's NO direct parallel. Frankly, it's a creepy proposition and I hope it stems more from the privilege of not having undisciplined children of your race being shot in the street than something more nefarious
Honestly, it all comes down to your child's personality. Not all children can learn discipline from spanking, some learn from other methods like time out, grounding, or even just sitting them down to talk to them. Different methods for different children, figure out your child first before you decide the best method of discipline that will get through to them.
That's all it is, parents who see spanking as a problem don't understand their own children and that's why they get confused when talking with the first child worked as discipline but not with the second.
+Kazimo Yes, I had four children and they all were disciplined in different ways. I never used "time-out" though (that was before my time) and I never had to ground my teenagers.... because the discipline from when they were young had done it's job. I would never spank a teenager... and probably not even a child over 6 years of age.... I didn't have to... but I'm thinking these are now times to talk a lot with them..... if needs be, take away a privilege or give them a job to do...." let the punishment fit the crime".
True
+Kazimo agreed, its does depend on the child and/or the situation if discipline is needed.
more like3-9 spankings from then on out grounding restricted gaming, tv, any type of fun for the most part.......getting know your kid...your kid needs to get to know your rules and abide by them....
Coincidence that the females who support spanking also seem to get the most riled up/ are the loud ones who interrupt? Doesn’t seem like they’re very patient people.
Guess they didn't get enough spankings as children to know not to interrupt or talk calmly. Seriously though, all they're doing is showing how angry they are, even though they want people to believe they don't spank out of anger. They can't even hold a difficult conversation with an adult without getting upset, but they don't get angry with their children that can sometimes work a person's nerves? Yeah right.
@@geremymason5936 thank you both!! I was literally thinking this!!!
@rayising even if I gave you the benefit of the doubt and believed that that happened, what's your point? It's anecdotal. This is just like when we have the single mother conversation and people say "well I grew up without a father and I'm doing well." Statistics and probabilities matter more than a single person's individual experience.
@@geremymason5936 Thats not what I saw. Off the bat the Asian lady in glasses interrupts the short haired Karen style white lady. You also see it?
@rayising I wasn’t spanked. I got all As in school and now im a student nurse who worked hard to help keep my country alive during the pandemic. Im a polite, kindhearted individual with lots of interests, humility and a drive to help those who need it. You know what the difference between our stories are? There isn’t one. Both are anecdotal and not necessarily relevant. However, I have done placements and worked with children and their parents in child and adolescent mental health services in my country. Including those who have been spanked. I have read countless peer reviewed journal articles and studies that prove that spanking is a negative reinforcer and damages children. It doesn’t matter what either of our anecdotes say because the statistics prove the negative effects spanking has on children, their development and their actions later in life.
i wish people would speak one at a time so we can hear their points of view
Yeah and if they break the rules spank them 💪
@@davidbloxham5062 glad you said that. I bet you the pro spankers would never allow you to spank them for breaking the rules - its just ok for them to spank their kids.
@@davidbloxham5062 Uh no sir!
@@geremymason5936 You know my comment about false equivalency here is a prime example. We are talking about kid punishments not adults. To spank a child is perfectly acceptable because they are children and the punishment is relatively minor. When you become an adult, the spanking goes away into more adult punishments like jail, tickets, being shot, tazed etc. When an adult breaks the rules, there are consequences that are far worse than a few whacks on the behind. Can we cut the dumb stuff out?
@@Ryooken it's not a false equivalency and it for damn sure isn't "dumb stuff." Why can't you get a spanking for minor infractions (your words)? If anyone puts their hands on any other person that is not a child, they're getting arrested for assault. Additionally, why can other adults not spank a child for minor infractions? Why is it that a teacher or a principal can't spank a child for minor infractions because that person gets arrested for child abuse? The point is that putting hands on anyone is abuse unless a parent (or possibly another family member that they give permission to) wants to hit their child. In those cases it's OK. Anyone else hitting a child, even for breaking rules and used as a form of discipline, would be taken to jail for abuse. Give me a break.
I like that quote... "Delayed obedience is disobedience" #Word
Sounds like something a slave master says to a slave. That man clearly has anger issues. I mean listen to his entire opening statement. He starts by saying "I don't spank my kids out of anger" then immediately says he spanks his kids if they don't immediately listen BECAUSE it makes him angry.
Right just like counting to 5 gives them 4 seconds to be disobedience
Mike Murdock 3:16
@@DrArthurCGarp ikr
If you don't do something that your boss tells you to do right that second are you disobedient or just thinking for yourself? We have been hard wired into raising children that will be good middle class workers that have to do things on their own and do what they are told the first time. We hit them until they fear thinking for themselves. Yes, parents usually know best for their toddles but, toddles understand things when you explain things, they don't nee to be hit.
Spanking doesn't make your children respect you, it makes them fear you. Although, sometimes fear turns into hate and you will start asking 'what did I do wrong? '.
Spare the rod hate the child
Exactly!
Sometimes it works sometimes it doesnt every child is different
It makes them respect you and fear you. And what's wrong with your child fearing you if it causes them not to do wrong? And by the way fruity loop what a stupid name that is even even a TH-cam name, They don't fear you they fear the consequences. I know you'll have a stupid response.
While this is true, saying no repeatedly without a proper punishment can give a child the idea that they can continue doing it because if the parent isn’t gonna stop it who will?
When I was younger and got spanked by my parents, it wouldn't make me understand "discipline", instead I felt anger towards them and it made me want to do the same thing over again. So spanking does not work well for everyone.
Dre I don’t like when some people do that to there own kids they are still baby’s this really crazy it’s not going to help what they are doing if they go to school someone will see something on the kids body’s there’s something wrong with them really they will ask or the kids will say something they are not stupid theses kids they will say something to someone like in school or some family out there.
mom & dad never ever spank me and my sister when we where kids till now never ever we know what’s wrong & right there’s something wrong with it.
This man gets it. Violence only breed anger and potentially more violence. Or fear and avoidance behavior. Kids don't learn anything from violence. Ill say this as always - anytime someone condones hitting their kids as punishment for breaking rules, just ask them if they are ok with the police hitting them for breaking the law. When they say no, youll know they're a hypocrite.
So why am i not violent. 99 percent of the people i know arent violent.
@@ESKAIELOS if you spank (ie hit your kids), you're violent. You probably just aren't violent against someone that can defend themselves against you.
You obviously dont know what you are talking about. Maybe you should start doing real research. How disciplined are your kids. Its funny how those that were spanked understand what its about compared to those who werent. If you dont know about it, mind your business
Can we please take a moment to understand that there is a HUGE difference between spanking and abusing...
AMEN
RIGHT. but they dont see it that way. they see touching a child in any way as abuse smh
Bebe A-lizz YES AMEN
How does using a different word change anything? You can say that killing is not the same as murdering, such as if a soldier 'kills' a person, but this does not take away from the fact that a person is dead due to the actions of another. You can say that spanking is different to hitting or abuse but they achieve the same results (www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2016/04/27/study-spanking-nearly-detrimental-abuse/X44bY3WymbVSv9LSRrKLWL/amp.html). So go ahead and use a different word, but all you're doing is giving yourself an excuse to justify using physical violence over reason and compassion with your own child.
there is a complete difference between Spanky and abuse, spanking as it's just a couple of Pops on their behind as far as abuse you're going out of your way to hurt someone else for no reason just to inflict pain.
Spanking is no excuse for not trying another form of punishment. There have been countless studies that say spanking or physical abuse is the least effective method for correcting bad behavior. It’s way better to know what things your kid likes and dislikes and use that to your advantage. Be smart. Be consistent. Don’t spank.
Nah. Have fun with the timeout corner
@@reggielacey2235 LMAO
The woman who said “I talk to my kids first and tell them why they are getting a spanking”, that was my mom. I still didn’t appreciate it. It didn’t work, I would still do the same things over and over. But thankfully, my mom changed, she started using love and teaching moments and then all of sudden I became a better child. The whoooings didn’t help me.
same
That's so funny because that's kinda how it is when a man is abusing a woman in a relationship. Except he usually tells her afterwards..
And the non spanking lady made a good point "if you're gonna tell them, then why the spanking?" And all they could do was loudly scream over them with Bible quotes. Sums up the mindset of the pro spanking crowd quite well.
Sounds like you the problem not your mom.
By hitting a child when not angry this gives the clear message that physical abuse can be a normal and acceptable way to get something from another person. It also teaches the child to be 'good' and act a certain way out of fear of punishment instead of a want to be nice and good; which teaches them to lie to and hide things from their parents due to a lack of trust and also to not use reason to know how to act but instead just blindly follow what someone bigger and scarier than them tells them to do.
Thats not true for everyone
Very well put
I've been spanking my daughter and I've come to realize spanking isn't a good form of punishment. My daughter was role playing mum with my neighbours kid and she was acting exactly like me. Yelling and ordering her threatening her with smacking etc and I realised that is what she relates being a mum to be and it was wake up call.
@Chanel White do you hit adults when you are fed up or angry or they aren't listening or not doing what you want them to do?
@@blakejameson1114 Let's be rational when it comes to this. We aren't comparing two adults in an equal relationship. We are talking about a parent and child.
That was your first mistake. It's not that you shouldn't spank your child. It's that you are out of control. How can you establish control when you are not in control of yourself? Here is the other thing, spanking doesn't work on everyone. Some people it works and some it doesn't. You have to know that.
@@Ryooken you are right on. Violence is not rational, especially when committed against a child.
@Blake Jameson That's not true either violence while unpleasant is sometimes necessary. What's irrational is to create false equivalents that promote a false premise.
the fact that the parents who spank kept interrupting the others tells us so much
exactly. lack of self-control
@@annaperez7308 no sweethart , you are wrong
I respectfully disagree with Ms. Lisette and Ms. Toya on that particular quote.
The phrase "spare the rod, spoil the child" comes from a 1662 satirical poem called "Hudibras" written by Samuel Butler, and it wasn't written anywhere in the Bible.
However, the phrase from Proverbs 13:24 is "Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him."
That quote means teaching a child through discipline, responsibility and accountablity, it doesn't mean advocating for corporal punishment.
Thank you for this! Parents that yield to corporal punishment in my observation do so as a result of their own programming, conditioning, and emotional & intellectual capacities. At a certain point, just as with any evolutionary process in life, there is a smart way and dumb way to do things. While spankings aren’t completely ineffective when it comes to giving a child of sense of discipline, there are more healthier, wholistic, smarter and efficient ways to go about discipline where you can get the same if not better result out of your child 🙏🏽❤️
Your interpretation is your perception.
@FlavoredGenuine I agree with what you unpacked is truth. I'm not trying to be condescending or petty lol. I'm really trying to seek knowledge and prespective because I'm a dad of a soon to 5 year old and 3 year old and am a believer. I hate spanking and yelling at my kids. I want to stop cold turkey cause I feel it's not worth it. My youngest already is started to avoid me. But my question to you in your opinion, Why did the Father God in the scripture allow Jesus the son to get get whipped and beat to death? Is that an argument there to say out of love he allowed that punishment to his only begotten son? So that justify the spanking camp to whip their kids out of love? I hope you understand what I am trying to convey. I'm interested in your response. Thanks in advance.
@@brixandblooms girl stfu you just want to beat them kids because you tired of telling them stop 10 times although kids are kids for a reason
they need a talking stick
Eleanor Phillips 😄😄😄😄
Eleanor Phillips a stick on their asses
lmaoo
Eleanor Phillips I didn't catch almost any of what they we're talking about lol but I'm old school all the way
Eleanor Phillips i know right all the girls talking the same time.
Notice how the parents who don't spank are more peaceful and more patient when they state their opinions on spanking , and notice when the parents who do spank throw shade and glance mean looks to them .
The minute they start speaking , you can actually see their anger and how hot headed they can be...yikes, I am scared; wouldn't want to make them angry😲
They all have anger and take it out against their children. Spanking is just a "nice" way of saying hitting a child. Its just violence against children.
This is just a selected group of parents. It’s gonna be a different response for all parents and understand how this is on tv.
@@geremymason5936 That’s not true. This is a selected group of parents and this is tv. Abuse is different from spankings. If seems that your just being soft and can’t handle getting slapped on the butt.
Right, it’s like they wanted to physically attack ones on the other side of the issue. I feel for their kids I really do.
@@fantasybouthour6679 as a kid who was spanked, I don't want your pity. Like Steve said, I'm grateful on how I was raise and that's something you just cannot understand
The first thing the dude says is "I don't spank out of anger" then immediately he says he spanks his kids if they don't listen because it makes him angry.
He said he does it when they don’t listen the first time Bc if he let them do it more than that then it’d make him angry. So technically he’s actually not spanking out of anger
@@lovelybae9451
That's like me saying "I slap my wife around twice a day because if I don't then I might punch her once a week".
He basically admits he's taking his anger out on his kids early because he can't handle himself if he's angrier. He's saying "If you make me mad I'm going to hurt you much worse than if you hadn't made me mad".
@@lovelybae9451 Look at the mental gymnastics you're playing here. Let's all call a spade a spade. He's pissed off and hitting out of anger.
Well at the end of day spanking is legal. And if that type of discipline works best for that specific child, then the parents have the right to do that.
@@lovelybae9451
So is domestic violence as long as the woman doesn't press charges.
You'd think that people would understand the law isn't always right. It doesn't force compliance and it doesnt protect the people.
Spanking and abuse are not the same thing.. I'm grateful for every spanking i got because without that discipline, I wouldn't be who I am today.
Amen to that!!
There's different types of discipline other than spanking that work just as well
So without someone using physical force against you you wouldn't have been able to become a reasonable or kind person? You have such a low opinion of yourself 😢
There are no one size fits all method that will work on all children, it depends on each individual child. Spanking may work on some child but not the others, same thing goes to other method such as timeout/naughty step, grounding, loss of privileges etc.
I'm Asian, I do spank my kids as well, but only as the consequences for misbehavior that serious injury is foreseeable. Other wise I would use other methods like timeout, grounding, or other consequences that fits that particular misbehaving.
The most important thing when discipline your child is to be consistent and not in anger. You should also explain reason why you discipline them.
Can I get a Amen!!!!!!!!!
I love that the spankers are much more aggressive than the other parents. Doesn't really help their case
Not to mention that they are OBVIOUSLY supported by Steve...I love how he opens up a given topic that he can't be objective on, nor his audience, but seems to act as a moderator...
Sasha Blazevic I think they were just a bit upset that people thing spanking and abuse is the same.
Big Z right
Yeah, lets see you act all calm when random people accuse you of abusing your beloved children on national TV. I am sure you would just sit back and say nothing huh?
@@catmani2 you don't love your children truly if you spanked them. But I would stay calm. Definitely. I think the person not answering your dumb question is because:
There won't be situations where it would happen because you know she doesn't spank her kid and doesn't agree with it.
Stop spanking your kids if you have one and read books on how to treat your kid. There are so many ways. You have to do them and not resort to violence which causes damage to them later in life. Or become like you.
I was spanked as a kid all the time. Sometimes it went borderline abusive. I kneeled on salt or green peas in front of the altar. My parents were trying hard to be religious. I cant even remember what i did wrong. It didnt work. Now i dont go to church or communicate with my parents. I dealt with my childhood differently perhaps. I didnt grow up unruly. I grew up normal. I think its my own conscience that tells me right from wrong. Its not because out of fear that my parents would hurt me. Its the consequences of my mistakes that prevents me from making it. Thats what needs to be taught to children. Physical punishment teaches fear and pain but not the responsibility or consequences.
Well that was extreme punishment that yr parents used on you.
Too much of everything isn't good.
That was abuse
Well thats ur experience
So sorry
But wat ur saying is wrong
For someone who doesint know ryt from wrong (KIDS)
Fear is the way to teach them
Kids respond to fear not to motivational talks and all
T
They dont care wat u think because they dont understand it
U were abused not spanked
So i think u should have shared ur experience at another comment section
That doesint darken the term spanking
@@mandlamajola8500 don’t sit up here and invalidate someone’s else’s experience and say what their saying is “wrong” cause it’s not kids learn in different ways and fear shouldn’t be one of them
the ladies who were said to be old fashioned were so aggressive. if that is the kind of behaviour they condone or show their children i would be afraid for the kids. and they said they wouldn't do it out of anger when the got angry just because they disagreed with the ladies.
All the people that hit their kids have anger.
UNFORTUNATELY THEY ARE IGNORANT OF THE DATA.
@@geremymason5936 that’s not true this is only a selected group of parents plus it’s on tv
@@sorryimwrong433 Wow! You really ARE that ignorant.
@@sorryimwrong433 I don't care if it's tv - these people were not acting. That's how they really are and they obviously have a lot of anger because they can't even have a civilized conversation with adults without getting angry.
I think that SOME individuals who are for the "new school" parenting were ABUSED as a child, beat out of anger (some of which may have had nothing to do with them) I.e. Alcohol & therefore are afraid to be repeat offenders.
LifeOfDyme Being beat out of love🤞💞💯
In my perspective there is a thin line between abuse and spanking. Both inflict pain, but it's for different reasons and on different levels of pain. The moment a parent starts hitting out of anger it's abuse, because it's not about what the child did wrong anymore, it's the parent taking their anger out on the child. While in some situations spanking with the correct motive is okay, it's not alright for every child because it confuses some. In their perspective it's like "You just told me you loved me, and now you're hurting me??" Or something along the lines of that. It's preferable to me to go through a more peaceful practice of discipline by taking certain privileges away or let the child calm down on its own if it's destructive in its melt downs. Even if you would want to make sure the child gets better and try to comfort them, they could end up hitting you or learning it's okay to have destructive meltdowns. Regular meltdowns which is basically just balling and crying, you should comfort the child and make them know it's okay to cry. You just can't be destructive about it.
It’s not that they are afraid to be repeat offenders themselves it’s that they literally know the emotional pain and suffering that comes from being smacked as a kid. There is such a thin line between spanking on the wrist for going to touch a hot stove and smacking your kid. It’s best to just avoid it all together and not lay hands on your child.
Or they studied sociology where mostly low-class individuals spank there kids. Lol most low-class citizens are also more likely to be in jail, commit suicide, and etc. Most bad kids I’ve met are from the lower class. In psychology, spanking increases aggression and depression. (Don’t believe me, I have countless research on this subject). Notice how the old school side seem to be more of the aggressors here. Plus those who use the Bible as justification for spanking also must know that at this time, that religion is falling. (Shows the affectiveness of spanking right there) and In more civilized countries than the US (in terms of education, career success, and crime rates) spanking is actually outlawed. (Sweden, norway, etc). It’s funny that most Americans agree with this method as it’s actually a rather new. “What do you mean?” You say, well children were treated way different before the Atlantic slave trade. Now during that time, many Africans were whipped if they did not obey their masters (which I believe is where spanking was originated from). Hence why many African Americans believe it is an effective way of discipline. Although the aftermath of slavery was drastic with the effects of it still happening today. Many African Americans that I know personally lack the self-esteem to rise up and help out their community due to the way they were disciplined.
Physical abuse is not spanking. When they talk about spanking, it isn't meant to be punching and beating up. Spanking is getting a belt or smacking your child's bottom. Yes, you inflict pain, but not enough to actually cause physical damage. My three siblings and I were spanked as kids and we hated it but we're definitely going to be spanking our future kids because we know the logic and effectivity behind it. I honestly CANNOT think of better parents than mine. My dad is the safest place for me and there is no one in this world more incredible and loving than my mom.
I grew up being spanked by my parents, mostly by hand, sometimes with my dad's belt. I've always thought I would do the same with my children, but recently i've begun to wonder if it may subconsciously teach children that getting physical is the way to solve problems. Now, I would not be the flowy "let's just sit and discuss" parent, but I feel like maybe time-outs and losing priviledges could be enough, and they can be done calmly.
At least someone here gets it.
Did you ever hit him back?
@@simonpedersen9703 No, I didn't.
Children are capable of understanding that parents hold the authority to spank them, and that they do not hold that same parental authority over a peer that does them wrong
Every kid responds differently. Some that don’t respond to time outs might respond to grounding. Some that’s don’t respond to grounding might respond to spanking. It’s all about how your child is
"Kids are smarter than you think" *ten seconds later* "I can't explain to my three year old..."
Haley .JustHaley they can be.
They know they are not stupid sweetie theses are kids you can’t just hate them they will till anyone. On body of little kid it can live a mark on the body what’s theses mom out there think doing to there own kids come on it not going to nothing really it’s crazy it’s not the 80’s.
If there where teenagers that’s different going out with the wrong people
Hah, got em.
@@shubhpreetnagra2602 wat?
The guy on the panel is a piece of work.
@@shubhpreetnagra2602 bruh you can’t even speak English. Take a seat or a casket.
I didn't spank my kids. They're now teenagers. All 3 of them are extremely respectful human beings.
Morbid, you wrote that you didn't spank, yet your children are "respectful" as teens. I believe I understand that you are keeping it short, and you intend that they are good, decent, self-disciplined human beings. There are people who will respond, "Yeah. For now. Just wait." Well let me tell you something: I didn't spank either. I had ZERO regrets about that back then. Now, they are both nearly 50. I have ZERO regrets about that now. They are good, loving wonderful people still.
@@rainaproske709 Yeah I was probably in a hurry.
@@PeacefulThoughts303 Well, I wrote that in admiration of your answer. I often don't know how to be so succinct.
@@rainaproske709 💕💕
Not all kids are the same and sometimes a whooping is needed not saying it should be done all the time but sometimes it is needed
I was spanked and I’ll never do it to my kid. I love and respect my parents but I had to go through therapy to undo trauma in my physical body as a result. I’m a yoga teacher and very in tune with my sympathetic nervous system responses as an adult. A lot of in is programming from being hit as a kid. Parents, do some yoga and meditation. You won’t want to cause physical pain to your child in the name of “discipline”. You kid needs a hug not a hit. Physical pain leads to deep seeded resentment and therapy sessions as an adults. What most parents think is spanking is abuse. It often escalates. Long term depression and anxiety are the result. Spanking will be long gone in a few generations.
I truly feel you bro in the same boat
True that
Seriously? Therapy for getting spanked? Everone was spanked including me. And in retrospect, I deserved it because my parents only spanked me when they warned me twice or thrice.
@@abebesatenaw2307 not everyone, also every clinical study says don't spank your kids by the way, including thr United nations
@Joel A. We will agree that spanking is not wrong but it's not right for everybody. I'm never wrong.
Personally I am on the new style side of the punishment I think that if you can’t solve a problem with violence in any other scenario, then why would it be ok to do that with a small child? To me it seems like society does not view children as humans otherwise the people that do spank would not see a difference of hitting another adult to solve a problem vs hitting a kid to solve a problem. Either way you’re hitting another human which the last time I checked, you can’t do
Nah
We spend so much time teaching them not to hit, steal, or kill only to turn around and celebrate when adults do these things.
@@bogkazealijamislim5998 stfu.
@@bogkazealijamislim5998 Stop trying to find reasons as to why spanking is wrong because it is not do you understand me?
Why do worthless people like Mr. Brown compare spanking your child with hitting someone else? Also why do worthless people like Mr. Brown call it violence when it's nowhere near violence? Also why do worthless people like Mr. Brown call it violence when it's nowhere near violence? Stop trying to make yourself appear smart because you're stupid.
I will never spank my children. I was spanked and it had negatively affected me and traumatized me. It was borderline abuse. I would be doing my math homework and if I didn't get the correct answer, boom, I would be smacked. And then through the tears all I would be focused on is what can I say so I don't get hit, not the freaking math problem. I love my parents but that is one area I do not agree with. They would get so frustrated with me, because obviously you're not very good at explaining the problem, so they would take their anger out on me. Instead of finding another way of explanation. Oh and I never had any behavioral problems. All of my spankings and punishments were the results of me getting a C or worse on an assignment. Like I remember I got an F on my math quiz once, and I was so terrified of bringing it home, I ran to the bathroom and hid it. Like seriously, the emotional scars those punishments have caused, I'm still dealing with it. There is a better way to deal with children to where you don't stoop down and have to spank them to get your message across.
That's not a spanking, thats abuse. Spanking and abuse are different and I'm sorry you had to go through that.
children need dicipline .. but when done in anger it can really affect their self esteem. . let them know who's in charge and following through with positive dicipline is key.
I would love to point out how uncivilised the side that likes spanking was as compared to those against spanking.
I thought it was opposite
@@lemonynya me too
Its not that you are beating them up until they are almost dead, its to help the brains of the childs who are *YOUNGER* understand that what they did was wrong, because if they are getting their ass whooped every time they do it, they surely wont do it again. Now if its the first time of the child doing that thing thats wrong, i'd recommend you to talk to them, if they keep repeating and repeating that bad thing, i think they deserve to be spanked. Also they tend to respect you more. I repeat, it is NOT beating them up, its a little spank to make sure they wont do it again
@@manuelemilioaquinoaraujo3154 I agree and also it depends on what discipline is best for YOUR child, just because your child can't learn from whoopings doesn't mean others can't
@@lemonynya no it wasnt, the other side was much more quiet with ONE person speaking mainly and the other side was cutting them off, getting annoyed and impatient and not really listening to understand but to respond.
"I don't hit my child out of anger, I hit my child out of correction"
"I'm not gonna tell you 10 or 12 times now I'm pissed off and I'm gonna hit you" I'm old school all the way but he contradicted himself
He didn't contradict himself at all. You just wasn't paying attention.
@@jeremiahtray5621 ...? Um, no. They just quoted the part where he contradicts himself.
@@LegacyProVideo He didn't contradicted himself at all. Ya'll simple minded idiots just don't pay attention. That's what happens when you use emotions rather then common sense. Get yourself some common sense. He didn't contradicted himself at all.
@@LegacyProVideo Nice try tho. But try again. Epic fail.
@@jeremiahtray5621 Okay, so if you’re gonna argue and call people idiots, actually make an agrume the for your side...! The quotes above show that he did, in fact, contradict himself.
I don’t mean to offend anyone. But the non-spankers, seem to display a much higher level of intelligence and self-control than pro-spankers.
Not spanking a child does require self control.
Let's see about the kids... Cause thats where the points really matter
@@hoodlum4511 you do realize its about more than just receiving a spanking and not receiving a spanking right?
@@geremymason5936 yeah i do, why? The belt is just the punishment if I disobey or make a tantrum (which I didn't make even when I was just a kid) people will say it is wrong but for me it is not.
Literally, I was raised completely differently from them. Because my dad would always be there for me. Forced me to go with him even and I learned more things from him then my generation could ever do. He not raised me by a belt, he raised me by being there for me, especially in my teen years.
I want to say I grew up but I have much more to learn by him then anything at school. School grants you knowledge but my dad gave me skills and discipline, workmanship, and respect. And to have that is a must.
In the end I realized how much my gen sucks
@@hoodlum4511 what youre talking about has nothing to do with hitting a child. The way you came off to me was you saying your dad abusing you made you a better person. Don't think its abuse? Go take your pet out in public and hit it with a belt for misbehaving and see how people react. Let someone find out youve been mistreating your pets - they have you locked up. Its abuse to hit an animal but hitting your child, well thats a-ok. Give me a break. Your father could have done all of that without hitting you. Just saying.
2:31 Props to Steve for using humour to break the tension.
1st guy: "I don't spank my kids out of anger."
Also 1st guy: "I've told you 12 times, now I'm pissed off."
why should he have to say there name 12 times.
You didn't understand. He said, he did not use the method that you described “I've told you 12 times, now I'm pissed”, he said that he told his child one time and if the child didn't behave, then he would spank the child, not out of anger like in the scenario in the quotes.
So you are faking the context in order to make the guy look inconsistent and bad. If you are doing it intentionally than you are a SOB, but if you truly misunderstood what he said than I hope I explained it to you in this comment.
also her: ''kids are smarter than you think'' then 10 seconds later ''I cant explain to my 3 year old''
@@mobblazeru4152 Why should you feel the urge to immediately hit people if they don’t listen to you?
@@gheorghebirca the fake context is what you typed. This big ole man says he will tell a 3 yr old something once, and then spank them if they don’t do it. That is insane. He just said a child doesn’t understand reason/verbal communication. They remember being hit!!!
That’s what this man right here said. AND it’s a little boy. What 3 yr old learned a lesson the 1st time. Our community is a joke, starting with this man who obviously cannot lead using his words.
I'm with Steve. I grew up having a dad that beat my ass for everything..now granted my dad was young and didn't have the opportunity to learn different discipline methods. I got a spanking for talking in class . Looking back on the situation I'm more surprised my dad take this as a moment to pat me on the back because I never made new friends growing up. I was always the quite and tiny kid in the corner and for a while my mom, dad and teachers were getting concerned. So what one day I broke out of my shell and was talking. Tell me not to talk in class and be happy that I actually trying to make friends instead of spanking me for it
Lies again? Sunday Bell + Spotify Barcelona + Spank Bang + Sell Backside + Small Boy
thank you for sharing 🙏
The “Spare the rod, spoil the child” quote is taken out of context often. The word “rod” in the Bible is also used for sheep herding sticks that sheep herders use to guide and direct sheep. In that context, the rod can be seen as not a tool for spanking, but a tool for correction.
“Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.” Proverbs 23:14. No honey. The “rod” in the discipline context absolutely literally means to strike. Look into the original language. You are incorrect.
@@D2014-u5i and no honey you are worshipping a "religion" that was derived from pagan beliefs and using it as an excuse to abuse your children. The bible also says not to provoke your children but its the selective hearing that has you justifying abuse. That same bible was a political apparatus to control people even in ancient times. But go off...
I have 4 kids and NEVER hit/spank my kids. They are well behaved and never act out. It's all about on how you treat your kid's.
That's because u were lucky
It depends on the kids
I doubt that
@@dofco3227 no youre just a horrible parent, impatient and lacking in emotional intelligence. you need to learn your kids. if they're "so bad" you need to take them to a psychologist
I must admit, as a parent, I become conflicted with generational physical discipline and modern-day discipline actions. I have uses corporal punishment when disciplining my children, they hate it, and don't understand it. My son, who is four, speaks ill of living and wants to be on another planet. I have and am still learning how to use communication, patience, eye contact, time outs (when necessary). When I am repetitive, and ask him to repeat verbal standards, he gets it. When we start off with a new job, relationship, or skill, we stumble/make mistakes. Same for kids. They are new to life. They are so curious, anxious to see, touch, and gain experience with technology, interactions, and life's infinite curiosities. They should not be struck. At no age. Kids who get disciplined, tend to have unhealthy copping mechanisms, and more likely to get into fights due to the lack of patience that has been taught. I understand the ignorance of corporal punishment, however, I condone modern methods of parenting.
Thank you for being so candid about your own personal experiences and educating others on such an important subject. This should be standard knowledge.
Decades of science have proved hitting a child is at best ineffective and at worst harmful. It has been linked to behavioural problems, lower self-esteem, less resilience, mental health issues and unhealthy parent-child relationships
I'm 21 and I was spanked hard when I was child. And everyone of those moments I learned that my dad and mother were the authority and they thought me values and principles that till this day I still practice. Now a days people my age I see them cussing and disrespecting there parents and parents suffer, why it is because they failed to discipline their children when young. Lord knows that if ever comes a day I disrespect my mom or dad a broom will be thrown at my face, and the guilt will make it even worse. So I believe spanking is a gift that has helped me become the man I am today.
spanking is awful though
look up what stefan molyneux says on soanking. it literally makes you stupid.
+Warsie really? Lol that's funny cause I'm here in a university and I am stupid. It depends how the parent spanks of course if he or she demolishes them then that's messed up
Spanking is bad.
I am old school, I didn't like it when I was young but now I see what it did for me.... it did good. In fact, I look to younger people now whose parents were all easy with them and most of them didn't turn out good at all.
No disrespect to those on the right side, but there is value in learning from the people on the left side if their methods are working. I grew up getting spanked and it worked for me, but if there was a way to discipline without it, I would love to use it. Although many use spanking correctly, I grew up with far too many who used it poorly and left lasting scars (physically, mentally and emotionally) on their children
The same can be said for the new school panel. No one is saying that EVERYONE should spank their kids, but to sit there and act like all spanking is abuse and the worst thing you can do, is ridiculous. There are benefits and that's a fact. Parents who spank aren't saying that you should spank randomly and for any and every reason. If that happens, then yes that's probably abuse, but spanking as a method of discipline works. I was spanked pretty young and I truly don't remember one time it happened. As I got older, I didn't really need to be spanked again because being the child that I was, talking to me worked. During those latter years I was spanked a total of 2 times. My brother on the other hand, he was a different child and needed to be spanked. We both grew up to be completely respectable individuals and we wouldn't change a thing about how we were raised. My brother says all the time how grateful he is for his spankings. Two siblings grown up together, disciplined with two different methods. The panel on the left needs to be more open minded I say!
@@SwaggerChiick1 too many parents on here as well saying they dont or wont spank when they do
Too many people judge the parents that use spanking when it dont concern them
Would you be ok getting a spanking now for not following the rules? Bet you wouldnt.
@@geremymason5936 I we are talking about kids not adults snowflake ❄️
i agree. it did not impact me as bad, but it did impact my older brother badly. him being an older sibling makes him mirror my parents' parenting method towards me. and for years i have been hit whenever he got angry, and i believe he has anger issues because of how he was disciplined. i believe it is not the same for every child, but it sure does impact a child's behavior. i used to think it did me well, and while it did because i was rarely misbehaving, my brother didn't take it well. i think it's important that parents should know that they can parent their children without spanking. while it isn't abuse , it is still painful for children. maybe it won't hurt then but it might in the future.
The first lady speaking is right on point!!!! They all interrupted her and are trying to defend themselves knowing they are wrong 😵💫
EXACTLY! Spanking is wrong and abuse, period. Child hitters know they are wrong that's why they always use excuses and try to minimize it. They say stuff like 'i don't hit them that hard,' 'i don't hit them to hurt.'
The excuses they make shows they know they are wrong
@@CrusaderDom3 hi . Appreciate your statement. I am asian. Ive not only been spanked but been hit with belt as well many times by my mom during my childhood as discipline. Now that I am an adult. I actually felt grateful for her doing that. I understand I needed discipline and there are always painful consequences should I do wrong. Now, am I messed up for thinking this way?
@@idgafidgaf3059 Yes, you probably are. First of all, I know you're damaged because you are justifying it. You are justifying violence against children. That is messed up.
You are defending someone who victimized you. Whenever we defend someone who victimize us, it's called Stockholm syndrome.
No, hitting your children isn't for discipline.
The word "discipline" doesn't mean punishment, it means self-control. Hitting your children because you have no other way of getting compliance from your children is the opposite of discipline.
Old school all the way, it made me a better person I sure have common sense because of that , I sure know know right for wrong. Unlike kids now a days they disrespect their parents
Yeah! Because hitting children brings happiness into a home....your an honest to god idiot.
Kaito Momota because unruly, ungrateful, and spoiled kids are totally what the world needs. You're the idiot... please don't reproduce.
Keep getting pissy over MY opinion kiddo😂
Kaito Momota don't tell someone idiot when yourself can't use the word you're in a sentence right...
New school all the way, it made me a better person I sure have common sense because of that, I sure know right for wrong. Unlike kids now a days, they have no respect for their parents, only fear.
The left side is SO loving. I wish I was raised that loving. If you spank an adult that is abuse. So why is it discipline or deserved by a child.
That's like saying fighting someone also classifies as abuse just because it's an act of "hitting" doesnt make the act abusive alone
Fighting or hitting an adult is asult 😃
people too damn soft now a days
Based on what? Most Americans still spank their kids. And the brattiest ones I've ever met were spanked a lot.
To me it seems these 'bratty' kids who are told they are precious act out because their parents choose to throw money at their problems and focus on building up their kid's ego's to astronomical proportions instead of focusing on building an authentic parent-child relationship...
That's because they don't get spanked. Lmao!!!!!
T. Davis I agree things are different from when we were younger kids run there parents back then parents run you
@@garbagecan6218 They grown and out my house, as long as you in my house you play by my rules. I am blessed to have a child that learned quickly what i say goes and we don't have that many issues. Spanking a child is in parent hand books written by professionals, took a parenting class. Beating and spanking is 2 different things that most get twisted. I puinsh, talk and spanking is last result (didn't have to do alot) and after any we talked again
When you discipline a child. You teach them how to act, but also how to react. If you spank a child for stealing, they learn not to steal. But they also learn that violence is the solution to stealing. When they get older, they’ll react with violence when someone steals from them.
You are very incorrect. Children are capable of understanding that parents hold the authority to spank them, and that they do not hold that same parental authority over a peer that steals from them, therefore they can conclude through their own internal rationalizations that they cannot resort to spanking as a way of handling being stolen from. Your “logic” comes off as really far reaching, which is what people do when they try their hardest to come up with an explanation that supports their delusional position.
@@LoshYT Your child is not a possession of yours. Just because you have authority over them doesn’t give you a right to hit them.
A human being has a right not to want to be hit.
@@bronxmade352 Unfortunately, they do have the right to hit their kids.😔😣
@@UniversalMysticsOfChrist sadly yeah, then those kids will become violent adults smh
@@UniversalMysticsOfChrist not according to the international bill of human rights, spanking is considered torture
Yo James pretty much quoted my Dad. Dad would say something like Didn't I tell you to take out the trash? Me-Yes. Dad-Why isn't it done? Me-Well dad I had to do my homework, then I was going to... Dad interrupts " BUT WHAT DID I SAY"! Me- Yeah Let me get that trash real quick.
Spanking is an adult temper tantrum. Why is an adult allowed to have a “bad day” when they are tired or annoyed or just feel like it but a child is t allowed too.
Why “hit” someone you are legally obligated to protect.
Because it's discipline
Spot on
@@reggielacey2235 nah
There is a difference between hitting because you had a bad day and hitting because your child is disobedient
@@emperoriro4391 nope, both are abuse. Your children aren’t here to “obey “you
I can't imagine a spanking which isn't out of anger. You say you do it because they aren't listening, that's frustration which is a form of anger. It is physical discipline and there are other, better ways to discipline. You essentially become a bully.
Do you have kids of your own? ok I will clear this up for you sometimes children like to push their parents to a limit I myself have four kids and sometimes disciplining them is the only way some kids are hard if hearing or hard headed I was raised on if you can't hear you will feel and becoming a bully will be in a case where the parent or step parent is constantly beating which has turned into it being abuse. ppl need to learn the difference. why do you guys think that Caribbean children and ppl from the Caribbean have a lot of respect for their elders and such because we were taught right from wrong. I'm a big 32 year old woman own kids won apartment one life I could never be rude to my mother else she will cut me down to size so in effect there is a thin line between giving discipline and being abusive
@@sweetie1753 well said
I just noticed the mothers on the spanking side are so angry!... even though I can agree with them at some parts but you can see the difference! 🤷🏻♀️
Because the one mom was basically saying that they were abusing their children. We need to quit acting like we know everything about someone else's home life and focus on our own kids
The moms came off angry (though I'll agree with Melinda), but both fathers on the spanking side, Steve Harvey and James Harrison, came off calm and thought out, so it's not a one sided thing.
No they’re not angry
@@damonfernandez8561 Thank you🙏
@@melindadowell4562And that’s exactly what spanking teaches people. That it’s okay to act however you want when you’re offended or angry.
I am just so shocked at the amount of ignorace on this subject. Research shows spanking causes mental health issues, suicide attempts and physical health conditions, along with developmental behavior, social and cognitive problems. (Quoted) The old way is not always the right way. Do your research before damaging your child for life. If your short and long-term memory was wiped completely and you had to re-learn everything, would you want to get spanked/hurt (spanking is way harsher when you are that small) every time you made a mistake? So, why do it to an innocent child? This is NOT about being soft - it's about your child's future. If you really care about your child, at least READ and educate yourself on the subject instead of mindlessly making an uninformed personal opinion. And then we wonder why our society is so messed up. Smdh.
It’s not for a harmless mistake though...there are positive aspects to spanking as well. I do not believe that you should just hit a child out of anger but in some cases I can see where spanking may be a positive consequence.
I was spanked and I'm fine....
@@dylankylee5127 Imagine using that argument towards the elderly or disabled people. Spanking is never fine in any way, shape, or form. The only thing we are teaching our children is that violence is okay, and causing them trauma. We can teach children about danger in other ways that don't involve spanking. Please stop spreading harmful misinformation.
@@KeishondraMusic People always say that they are "I was spanked and I'm fine", when in fact they typically suffer from anxiety or anger issues, or addictions -or other mental health issues, as slight as they might be. The truth is that you might not even be fully aware of how spanking might have affected you. Also, just because "you're fine" doesn't mean that others will be "fine" too. "I was raped and I'm fine," as an example. Everyone responds to trauma differently.
Quoting:
A M
@rayising I wasn’t spanked. I got all As in school and now I'm a student nurse who worked hard to help keep my country alive during the pandemic. I'm a polite, kindhearted individual with lots of interests, humility and a drive to help those who need it. You know what the difference between our stories are? There isn’t one. Both are anecdotal and not necessarily relevant. However, I have done placements and worked with children and their parents in child and adolescent mental health services in my country. Including those who have been spanked. I have read countlesspeer-reviewedd journal articles and studies that prove that spanking is a negative reinforcer and damages children. It doesn’t matter what either of our anecdotes say because the statistics prove the negative effects spanking has on children, their development and their actions later in life.
Am I the only one who noticed that the "spankers" are a hell of a lot more angry in their explaining, where the "non-spanking" people are fairly calm?
And they end up raising stubborn and disobedient kids
yes they are really crunk and they just talked over the other panel and didnt let them finish their points
I've noticed that about pro-spankers on other shows, too.
Damiën Smidt exactly!
I think it was because the fist lady seemed to be accusing. As if they were punching the children in the face. She even said "smacking them around". Which it isn't. And both sides were talking over each other.
Yes I completely agree with Steve because (and for the record I don't have kids but I was spanked as a child). In the bible, Proverbs 13:24, it says "If one spares the rod, hates their children. But those who are careful to disincline, loves them." Let me start out by saying that when it says they hate their children, it's figurative. I'm almost positive that those who don't spank hate their children. What this means is that you aren't disciplining them in the correct way. Spanking should be out of love, because the parent wants to show them right from wrong. Eventually when that concept is seen in the child they will learn that they wrong way leads to pain. For example getting addicted to drugs or something, if it gets to the point where you have to go to rehab, withdrawal hurts. Your body wants to feel better but because you had let yourself do the wrong, they corrective discipline is pain. My point is that when I have children I will spank them, not out of anger, but out of love.
It's sad to have the belief that for someone to act kindly they must be afraid of being hurt...
RiseLikeLions
You can say the same thing about rewards. If you’re kind to someone you’ll get something in return.
It shouldn’t be that way either, but not everyone can do something just for the sake of doing it.
Amen sister! I agree 1000000000%. I was raised on spanking and as a result, I am now 20 and I have respect and common sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. People nowadays need to discipline their children and not have them run amuck screaming their heads off in a public place basically ignoring them and not doing anything about it. It’s just plain rude to those around them.
Clarissa Vollrath are you black or african coz girl you just summarized that whole interview. You are 100% correct.Thanks gal
Clarissa Vollrath That is literally the stupidest thing I have ever heard. First, using a religious text to justify your actions. Second, how dare you make a claim that if you don't hit your kid, it means you hate them. OK, my mother never once hit me as a child, yet she has shown more love to me than you have ever known.
Honestly, some people.
Why do people who hit their chidren get so defensive, interrupting, and loud? People dont put themselves in the place of their children.
Very true
Because people mistake spanking for abuse
With all of the cool gadgets and technology in this generation, it's so much easier to discipline a child. Taking away video games or letting your kids lose their internet privileges, and being limited to school and homework is probably the most effective way. Kids HATE being bored, and when they're sitting there with no video games or any other fun things to do, all they really can do is reflect on their behavior
When my sons were younger (they are 32 & 26 now). I made them do they things they hated most. Like yard work for 1 and house work for the other. Back I even rented them out to my mom and sister. Punishment works, just learn what your kids hate and made them do it.
use what ever method works. people are to arrogant and narrow minded and think only one way works. whatever method you use as long as you explain why you are giving this punishment to you child then it can work
Exactly, especially because everyone is different.
What works for one kid may not work for another.
I agree 1000%
@@TheEmeybird agreed 1000% too
I mean giving your kids opiates works to calm them. It really works so its a safe and good way right? I will give my kids a lot of heroin :)
A child will never understand why their parent hit them - i don't care if you explain it. Since you're ok with kids being spanked as punishment, you would be ok with the police hitting you if you broke the law right? Its the same thing - theyre trying to teach you to follow the rules and refrain from bad behavior. Theyre not beating you - just a spanking.
I was NEVER spanked growing up and I'm a law abiding all around repsctful person
My daughter is 3 and she has never and will never get a spanking she too is a great kid 🤷🏼♀️
Every family is different
Parents still found ways to punish me to point of tears so there IS other ways to get a kids attention
I got spanked and I’m the exact same as you. My parent wasn’t abusive and my family are considered one of the kindest in our neighborhood. Your definitely right it all depends on the child. Also I think a lot of people think that when a parent says they spank their kids it means they right away spank my parents would give me 5 to 3 and even 10 chances to do better but I wouldn’t. It wasn’t like I got spanked for nothing. Even then I wouldn’t get spanked if it was as small as not doing my chores right
I just don't understand how people hurt someone they care about. You spent all your time making this thing, birthing it, all that, just to make it mad at you, upset and scared of you? What? You are respectable an I agree.
@@calli.gio82 honestly even if you don't spank your child will get mad at you at some point in your life it's apart of being a parent you can't fear your child getting upset with you it's going to happen regardless even when you the ground them even when you say no to something it's going to happen and that's okay your job as a parent is to protect and teach them right from wrong & also be there for them and love them even when they're mad at you spanking isn't a bad thing when done correctly and with thought and reason all I'm going to say you better discipline your kids because if you don't the world will and the world won't be so nice about it like you were
@@shardaemitchell3053 of course I would discipline my kids, and of course getting mad is part of the process. What I don't understand is how people hit children. IT is confusing٫ and there have been studies proven that it is overall not effective, and it only creates fear, and distrust. I don’t want that with my kids.
This is a very controversial subject. I am a Childcare Provider and I have worked with so many families through a period of 15 to 20 years. I have two adult daughters. However, I am not an expert on anyone's child nor am I able to care successfully for a child without working with the family. Your child did not come with any other manual but the one God gave to the two parents that brought him/her into this world. So I would say, raise your child. Whatever it takes to get the task down. Get to know your child. Give your child guidance, discipline, opportunity, and most of all LOVE.
I wasn't spanked as a child and that worked because I don't see my parents as enemies. I respect my parents and see them as friends, I behave the way they want because I wanna be on one line with them.
I was spanked by my parents when I crossed the line and my moms my best friend today lol we’re all very close and I’ve never once hated them
It sounds like the people spanking are just impatient. Look at their behavior! Jumping over each other speaking to defend themselves. The parents not spanking patiently sit there, obedient, and wait their turn to talk. They are also not as aggressive as the spanking parents.
It takes a lot of self-control for anyone to not pass the threshold into anger territory. Do you hit your husband or wife when they do something bad!? Adults are still learning and making mistakes in life... sometimes at the expense of their families. Should we spank them? LOL No!!!! That would be considered domestic violence. What are we really teaching our kids? That love comes with a “healthy” dose of physical pain! No one really knows the damage spanking can have because it’s different for every child and there is no measurable way to assess, how much spanking is too much. At some point they yell back it doesn’t hurt/phase them anymore, “Do it again!”. Spanking is conditioning but it’s not love. How do you teach your kid when mommy or daddy hits you it’s okay but when your partner does, as an adult, it’s a red flag and to run in the other direction!? It's very confusing.
Just to be fair, the next time you as an adult step out of line and your parent isn’t there to spank you, give yourself a good one!
If your kids are defying you for punishment I can bet there is an underlying cause that can explain their behavior if only they could articulate that better. But you’re never gonna get there if you don’t dig deeper to get to the root of it. If you just stay on the reactive level of spanking for their bad choices you’re teaching them how to avoid you and the punishment. If you can’t find another way to communicate your point about their mistakes, changing your approach to increase your effectiveness, then you aren’t being creative enough.
We don’t come home and hit or kick the dog when it does something we don’t like... we condition the dog to do what we want by conditioning/training without getting physical. Why is it different for kids!?
To this day my grandfathers and father still refer to it as “discipline” and “punishment” but whose the real judge of that!? The one giving or the one receiving? I was brainwashed to believe I deserved that treatment and that it was "for my own good". Any time a person should get physical with someone is in self defense. Don’t confuse spanking with being a permissive form of abuse.
Also on that note I was surprised to grow up to learn three men were difficult boys who made trouble but were never laid a hand on by their parents. They all grew up to make over six figures with healthy positive views of the world and good self esteem. I would have preferred the gentle guidance instead of the physical control.
this is very good take on the matter people feel as though that spanking is the initial default setting . When i think in my opinion on my personal experience made it hard for me to articulate and express how i feel without getting angry or upset. It’s damaging because a lot of people go on by saying that you deserved it when it reality you’re a child trying express and see the world around you. We aren’t perfect human being it’s depressing to see that people use spanking or these excuses to beat children but if it was different instances like partners hitting you it’s wrong . Violence to get a wanted behavior is selfish and it’s inhuman.
Cool
Don't care
Exactly! The Old School parents just come across as controlling and mean..they want to be in control of even the adults that don't agree with them!! They show what kind of parent's they are and guess what? Their kids won't ever see them in their old age! They will rot along in a nursing home or state care because kids don't forget how parents treat them!
@@chrisreed26 dude
Shut up
@@reggielacey2235 hitting children probably makes you feel powerful
Old school alllll the way👏👏👏👏👏👏
RR aye Clart agreed
Yep, exactly. I will tell you once, after that I'm whooping that ass.
RR aye Clart wow you peop are horrible I got spank like a normal amount as a kid and it cause me lots of mental trauma like I flinch when people raise there hands at me your kids are supposed to see love in you not fear it’s parents like you who cause kids problems just cause you can’t go out of your way to parents a way they not hurt your kids
RR aye Clart definitely been raised that way and all my family has !
RR aye Clart if you don’t discipline your kids the cops will do it later on
Spanking is lazy ass parenting. It takes more energy and patients on my part to discipline them without resorting to spanking.
The spanking parents are just shouting while the non spankers just wanna say what they wanna say. Stop being so immature and let people talk, they're just talking about "my parents taught me this and this" but didn't they teach you to let people talk first and not interrupt? Or did they not spank you for that so you just forgot about it?
I'm not against spanking btw. Just CORRECTING the child is okay, but when you're hurting the child very badly that's when I say no..
+Aïcha EXACTLY!! Shows the calm nature of the people who come from backgrounds of other discipline methods whereas the spankers seem to want to be right, on top and become irate- irritability like this is the reason alot of parents spank!
spanking parents are immature, that's why they spank their kids. because by doing so, they are allowing themselves to become immature, which doesn't make the parent seem like an adult. more like a kid with bipolar disorder
Aïcha it pains me to agree, but you're right
Scripted.
Designed to make them look bad.
Hurting the child how I was hurt as a child I was abused as a child I was adopted thank goodness but like I said my biological mother's boyfriend and her both beat the crap out of me and it wasn't spank on the butt it was a punch in the face at kick in the mouth change of the doghouse peed on by raccoons and dogs and feces all over me when a child gets spanked that is not child abuse you're wrong what I told you is correct what I said was all those things that I told you what happened to me that's child abuse that's not discipline that's wrong doing you're beating the child to death but when I go up and I spanked my two-year-old son on the hind in or soon-to-be two year old son I'm not hurting you anyway I'm disciplining you to let him know that hey you know this is not okay to do but do I still love him absolutely but I would never abused my child and if you honestly think spanking is abuse then you're sadly mistaken
Honestly id be like "what? You gonna hit *me* because you don't like that I disagree with you?". Spanking works for some kids but not every single one. When I was small, I was spanked and it was not for me because I'm super sensitive and take things to heart. Because of this, when I was a kid I thought it was okay to hurt people if they didn't do what I wanted them to, and later on I started to equate pain with love because my parents would tell me they love me and that's why they spanked me. I've been in and out of abusive relationships and every time I get hurt I figure it's probably my fault.
I wasn't a bad kid. I had my moments but I wasn't a little brat.
And I grew up okay but definitely screwed up in more ways than one.
I'm from the old school. Ass whooping are the key to obedience . But that's just me.
What is your reasoning behind that?
***** How exactly do white people raise their kids?
no they're not
👎
same here
Parents who spank are incompetent parents. Stop taking advantage of children because you are older, that's bullying.
Umm... not bullying it’s ABUSE
There are different ways to discipline a child. I hate how the people that Are for spanking are attacking the ones that don’t spank. Every child is different.
And vise versa
Exactly this. And if you're one to spank on a case-by-case basis you'll find you don't need to do it often, if at all. Not every kid needs it, and not every bit of bad behaviour warrants it... but spanking can't be off the table.
They should do 10 year reunion to see how the kids turned out.
4 more years to go
Spanked kids may appear to be fine on the outside, but on the inside they're anti social, depress, have anxiety, and a lot of other problems.
I was spanked and being humiliated like that didn’t teach me anything. It made me resentful and upset. Maybe it works with other kids but it didn’t make me want to behave-if my mother threatened to spank me it made me want to misbehave out of anger on my part
same
The old school panel never listens...they never seem open minded to anything the new school panel says. I mean that lady laughed in the middle of the other parent explaining her reasoning.
the people on the old school side are really aggressive.. :(
Right lol like damn you're that mad someone doesn't spank that child?
The so called greatest generation 🙄
They we're aggressive because she said "your ok with abusing your child" ...
Thats because they were basically calling them abusers.
I didn't believe any of them when they said they don't get angry with their children😂😂 they came to the show angry and it only progressed with the discussion😂😂😂😂
I'm an old school parent. i was raised & disciplined but i wasn't abused/beaten. there is a BIG difference between discipline & abuse. it is our job as parents to teach our kids between right & wrong.don't get me wrong, don't resort to spanking as a first option but as a 2nd or last resort. some kids do respond to a verbal warning but not all kids do. thats when a spanking is called for gain their attention and retain the message we're trying to relay to them. a spanking isn't meant to bruise or harm the child. i also agree with the poll that steve took, i agree that spanking isn't outdated.
You only hit a child because you know they can't defend themselves. You won't hit someone your own size that you feel is misbehaving. You won't hit your child once they become old enough to defend themselves. Capital punishment only teaches kids that violence is the solution or that violence will be used against them if they are not perfect which will cause avoidant behavior, lying, deceit, etc to keep from being punished. I bet you none of these people would be ok if someone hit them for misbehaving. Would you allow you boss to come up and spank you for mistaking on the job? Or your significant other if you did something they didn't like? Would you be ok with a police officer hitting you for breaking the law?Guarantee you wouldnt.
As a parent, you have to lead by example. You’re not only teaching kids how to act, but also how to react. If you whip your child for talking back, then don’t be surprised when you get a phone call that your child has been locked up in prison for beating or killing someone for talking back.
The one lady has no idea what sparing the rod meant. It was a shepherd's rod, used to guide and coax and redirect. Not an instrument to punish.
I never understand how parents who claim to care about kids try to justify physically hitting them, people are stupid
I think there is a fine line between disciplining your child and abusing your child. I believe when a child acts up and doesn't listen you discipline them. I also agree with that man I'm only gonna tell you once don't make me repeat myself. No child deserves to be abused but there are some kids out there nowadays that I look at and say your parents should of whooped your ass when you were younger because they don't respect nobody. The problem nowadays is the parents are more scared of their kids then the kids are of them.
Are they old enough to use reason?
Yes: then reason with them
No: then they don't understand the reason you're hitting them
@0:58 Those women couldn't logically answer Stephanie's question. They had to go to their old bag of religious cliches.
@2:25 These women can't even let Stephanie finish her point (or ask the question), with out talking all loud over her.
+lizah boss She used a "get out jail free card" aka typical religious cliche, looking at the ceiling, to respond with. She and those other women couldn't deal with how Stephanie was breaking things down and analyzing the issue at hand. So the only thing they could do is yell over everybody, when somebody else disagrees and profess, common religious cliches.
obviously spanking traumatized her that's why she doesn't understand. she's Asian. Asian parents do use anger when disciplining and she just doesn't know anything else but her parents.
I totally agree. The women were trying to be intimidating to the other women in order to get their point across. Instead of being able to articulate a true reason to justify physically violating a child they chose to raise their voice and cut the other women off. That is not respect. they are a living example it teaches disrespect and completely removes communication from a situation.
The old school panel are the worst listeners
joe sanchez not when they get accused like this lady stating and comparing a spanking with a beating and therefore calling them child beaters.
I don't condone the abuse of a child since I'm a single father of 3 daughters.
but I do practice disciplinary action like grounding,talking and a spank once it's and only necessary to assort your responsibility as a parent.
methods:
not all are bad,but not all are great.
If you don't like being accused of acting violently then educate yourself on the most peaceful way to parent instead of ignoring research and just copying the parenting method used on you.
both sides suck at that
RiseLikeLions like they said in the panel, different kids need different things. If my child is anything like me then they’re gonna need some extra help, but also like Steve said. Every spanking I got, I deserved. I wasn’t spanked for no reason and I never saw it as abuse.
And more angry . What a coincidence
Young children NEED to be told ten and twelve times. Their attention spans are so short...I cant even.
One time is enough. Spanking works well
exactly that's literally how people learn. Just like going to school or training for a new place or work.
why does the pro spank ppl who wanna punish kids for bad behavior...like interrupting others while whey talk... talk over the anti spank ppl constantly in this vid, i find that funny, but it also makes the convo hard to follow :(
The spankings, although my mom stopped, really had a long lasting effect. I’m 33 now and still remember having to take all of my clothes off and get beaten.
Hopefully you remind her of this!! She needs to know this and also remind her that in her old age she needs to make plans for her long term care that do NOT involve you!!! Although this could also be a great time for revenge too! My mom NEVER touched me so in my mom's old age she was treated like a queen..I bought her a Cadillac a home in a senior community and took care of her after a stroke to keep her out of a nursing home..Had she did like your mom did, spanking with clothes off..(How horrible is that!OMG) I would have dumped her ass in a home!! Because she was a loving parent that knew spanking was abuse, she had great Golden Years instead of The Twilight zone years haha
You weren't getting spanked, you got abused. There is a difference. If you had to take your clothes off to get disciplined then your mother had some deep rooted issues and passed that on to you. Getting spanked is a last resort for being deliberately disobedient and even then, it should not be to the extreme in which you had the experiences you had
That’s abuse. Two different things
Whaaaatttt? You had to be naked to be beaten? That's no good.
Used to be legal in US not long ago to "discipline" your wife...What do you all think of that?? Same not same thing?
It's not the same because, by the time the two married, the Wife was already disciplined for she's an adult.
Same... It's all about people seeing other people as posessions
The root problem is really the parenting. I have seen kids misbehave and being rude at my kid's school for the past 7 years. When I see them around there parents, the kids seem to be in control and not listening because many parents don't discipline their kids. They think its the school's responsibility. Nope, it is your job to teach your kid to be a good person and do the right thing.
ive also seen kids who got whupped turn out to be sociopathic failures. but I guess...
It's depends on the child. When you know your child, you figure out the best method to deal with them. I know quite a few kids that you just have to talk calmly and be chill and they're good. Then there's some where the only thing that gets them in line is a spanking or sending them back to their home country and they come back as grateful angels.
+Tisha Charles EXACTLY! Every single child is unique and you have to parent each child differently.
Lol i know this little girl she's the sweetest thing ever.....but when she's bad....talking doesn't work yet and spanking doesn't phase her. Rewarding her for good behavior so she does more of it, is the only method that she responds too.
Spanking and abuse are totally different
GwenaValerie True
Not really.
@@TheNoraa890 Yes Really
@@han2d025 majority of people who were spanked get negative effects like social anxiety and become violent. It is abuse.
You are all shameful deniers. Why is it so hard to just admit it?
@@TheNoraa890 As A person who's currently battling severe depression. I can tell you "spanking" didn't cause my depression. I grew up with a strict father. I can tell u this, All the Spanks and punishments made me the better person I am today. Period. I think bringing depression or Anxiety in this situation is irrelevant. Because those 2 issues are caused by Imbalanced chemicals in your brain and not From your skin getting a spank. 😏. Much love ❤.
“If I spank him for making a mistake he’s going to remember it”
Uh Yeah that’s called trauma
White people problem right.
depends how you put it
@@lemonynya it is trauma, it's not an opinion
Question for the old school parenting style people. How hard should you hit your child? I know the open hand justification but what if you hit them too light?! Will they think you are playing with them?? (If so than the punishment is ineffective). If you are not angry doing it, will they fully understand you message!? “Spare the rod, spoil the child” was used and I have a question about that. The verse before it says use the rod like a shepherd. My question is do shepherd spank sheep!? I mean I read a study that most animals would react either scared or go into attack mode if hit. Also society would go ballistic if we “spank” our personal pets. Now I know a lot of people mentioned that spankings have been very effective for them but my question here is what is the percentage of people it was effective for?? (Like conduct a study based on social class, career success, and education success on those who were spank). Isn’t it odd that mostly (emphasis on mostly) lower class and uneducated people use this method? Also in more civilized countries where education success and crime rates are low (hence Sweden) spanking is outlawed and considered abuse. Even psychology mentions that spanking will more likely increase aggression and / or depression with children. Since most adolescents don’t have a full understanding of the world then what makes you think they would know the different definitions between Abuse and Spankings?? Also for the old school parents, do you know about how the brain develops as a child!? And how spanking your child effects brain development?? I have a lot of questions here
I'd say old school NOT all the way, because believe it or not MANY parents can't tell the difference between spanking and abusing. In fact spanking and abusing is pretty much the SAME thing. Since when did hitting a child become 2 separate terms that mean the exact same thing??? To me spanking should be the LAST RESORT. If a kid is hit every single day for simple slap on the wrist things, then that my friends is ABUSING.
Disagree
I was a hot headed child so I didn't learn from spanking or any discipline methods believe it or not I got worse from that I only got out of my past personality cause I knew that my parents were having trouble with economy my personality changed because of learning my parents hardships so my personality changed from anger to supporting and mild anger I was pretty smart back then but I was smarter to understand peoples hardships some people can't get better with discipline methods
Notice how aggressive, arrogant, and interruptive pro spankers are. They sure turned out fine eh lol
No Spanking.
This is just a selected group of parents and this is tv so they might’ve been portrayed as that for drama reasons
@@sorryimwrong433 You're not that ignorant.
Exactly! Their facial expressions. The 1st guy said, "I've told you 12 times, now I'm pissed off."
@@UniversalMysticsOfChrist because his kid doesn't listen to him
No... beating your children is wrong.. just because your parents did it to you does not make it right. Its 2016.. Why do we still need to make grown adults understand this?
Beating and popping a kids hand or bum are 2 different things. It doesn't matter what yr it is. Lol
TotallyFreedomTV If the point is to hurt the child then no, its still wrong.. smh you ppl
there's a difference between spanking and beating though....spanking is a form of discipline to let the child know there are consequences for your actions. if you beat your child, that's abuse. we have to separate the two, and that means the parents need to be responsible enough to tell the difference
@@TotallyFreedomTV exactly well said
@LittleRockElevators I am sure the ones that say they do nothing have spanked in the past but now chose not too just saying
funny. my mom has hit me millions of times with sticks belts shoes everything it didnt make me more obedient it just made me more rebellious
+chris pine same.
It’s because you’re probably raised by a single mother. Women can help a baby grow into a healthy child, but they can not grow a teenager into an adult. That’s what the father is for.
Same here I don't spank!
That's most likely because there was a constant contradiction. She cant gain respect with a switch if she has no personal power to follow through with her threats/demands/requests. Her words mean nothing, zero value. If she had any power at all, just ONE LOOK across the room would make you surrender and comply. Her words are just background noise so she uses the switch instead to see if that will give her additional leverage over you but it doesnt. Actions must be in alignment with words if they're not it's all over. You're rebelliousness is directly proportional to her lack of control, reliability with her rules, and expectations of you.
You actually want her to not be such a pushover with her words, be reliable and put the switch down.
Jose B. Lmao😂 ignorant comment alert
my parents spank me out of anger every time, I think, cuz spanking is usually accompanied by yelling and sometimes even insulting. and those moments are specially embarrassing cuz we live in the neighborhood where houses abutting one another and every body around can hear those curses 😛 I don't think that spanking is good in anyway. it hurts me mentally and physically. now just when I hear my father coughing I would cower in fear for no apparent reason at all 😛
Ha LT Rei then your parents did it the wrong way, I got spanked and learned to respect both my mother and father, children are not the same if lecturing helps by all means go for it.
keyshawn AFRO DRAGON KING morrison “Spanked in the right way” sounds like apologetics to me.
@@Marquez2077 its always due to anger.
@@geremymason5936 it’s not dumbass.
I got spanked.. me & my siblings are fine
Some children are abused and still turn out fine later....that doesnt make abuse ok
there is a difference between abuse and spanking
D Alexandria Same!
Science not religion I don't know any battered children that are okay
First: www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2016/04/27/study-spanking-nearly-detrimental-abuse/X44bY3WymbVSv9LSRrKLWL/amp.html. Second: are you afraid of authority, be it God, police, teachers or parents? Are you desperate to act in a way that pleases other people? Did you learn how to lie and keep secrets from the people you love for fear of judgement and lack of trust? Just a couple side effects of authoritarian parenting and third: just because you are grateful for someone spanking you, this does not mean that it is then certain that no one is ever effected negatively by it...
I personally think it all depends on how the kids is raised and what they are exposed to. I look at these kids today and they are outrageous. I'm only 21, but I grew up the old school ways. Some of these kids needs spankings and some need other discipline procedures. Anger only comes out when the child was told constantly.
+kelly donovan Its not suppose to feel good. Its called discipline. That's the punishment if the child is told to not do something bad more than 3 times. Spankings is the last resort. I wasn't talking about right off the hand spanking them. I got spankings when I was a child and it helped me to be a better me when I grow up. I'm 21 now and never did any drugs, commit any crimes, nor drinking liquor. Maybe you and the other person misunderstood.
***** Who is to say that those problems was from just getting spanked?
***** I guess you're right
Spanking is wrong for many reasons, i have had experiences with pushing, slaps afrost face, punches, and spankings. I have only learned one thing from the things my parents have to done to me is that self harm is ok. I have thought about it alot, and the fact is, when you hurt a child they think” If you can hurt me, than i can hurt myself.” Kids will reach the point where they are debating to self harm, or not to self harm, and in that moment, if you have spanked them they will think back to that moment and remind themselves that since they can hurt me i can hurt myself.
My opinion is that if your child is old enough to understand that what they did was wrong, then they don't need to be physically disciplined, and if they are to young to understand the spanking, then it is just as useless. At that point, the child will be angry at you, and have learned nothing from the spanking.
Even worse than spanking in general, is spanking out of anger. It is one thing to talk to kids about what they have done wrong, and explain why they are getting a spanking. But to spank out of anger is never ok, becvause chances are, you weigh almost double your child, and when you go full force at something half the weight as you, it causes double the damage, and at some pointe, theline between abuse and corection will be crossed if you hit in anger. Children can not tell the difference from hitting in anger, and hitting in correction. So maby it would be a good idea to concider a diferent punishment, because there are far more than spanking.
It is confusing for a child to hear “ I Love you one moment, then the next moment to be spanked. Children are just learning about life. They are not yet aware that they can fight back, and that they should fight back. Adults think that they are always right, but they aren't always, and it's frustrating for a child to be punished when they aren't wrong. So parents, spanking does not teach
I think, what our children need is TIME with them. Both quality and quantity time. Time to explain to them rules, respect and love. Whether you spank or not, they need to understand why your doing such. The more you spend time with them, the more they understand and trust your way of nurturing them. After all parenting is challenging, but I still believe in the old school way of doing it with some modifications(adapting and omitting what is not relevant in today's world). This one has worked for centuries 😍. We parents need each other for this and a lot of wisdom from Above😊
Spanking instills fear and anger in the child of the parent. It could scar the child and help them develop anxiety issues into later life. You are being violent to your child, the person who relies on you for food and shelter, under law having to stay with you until 18. It creates an environment where fear and punishment rules. They will not feel safe and calm with the parents around. They will grow up feeling like they have no voice and have to watch every thing they do. It is abusive. No question.
You need to explain to your child WHY you did. Most times, spanking is only if your child doesn't have a good enough conscience to discipline themselves.
My friend does not believe in hitting his kids and his youngest daughter has severe anxiety issues. So Sigmund, what do you say to that?
Anna Brown spot on.
That's abuse you have to communicate to your child why they are getting a spanking on the butt or a tap on the hand or etc you should never BEAT your child because yes it does cause fear/depression/ anxiety etc
Lmao