1. Do what you love to do. 2. Get out of comfort zone to grow to gain self confidence. Take baby steps. 3. Make list of what you want in life partner, all traits you want to have, list on how to feel in relationship. 4. Do affirmation, meditation to take charge. 5. Goals, dreams, purpose of life, what is happiness for you, what you want in life, how you want your life for yourself. 6. Take action. 7. Invest in yourself.
Feed your mind with books, workshops, positive affirmations, meditations. This has been massively transforming for me. 🙏🏼 Stephanie. your videos are inspiring and motivating.
I feel stupid for waiting 12 years in a toxic marriage I knew I was bad from the get go. I don't even KNOW what I love to do!! What makes me excited?? I have no idea. I've felt nothing but a deep darkness for so long.
First do not get down on yourself for waiting 12 years.. someone never ever get to where you are. They stay suck forever! You should actually be so very proud of yourself for getting out! Rediscovering who you are does take time especially after being in a toxic relationship for so long.. that is totally normal. Focus on learning how to love yourself and what that means. Learn how to start practicing mindfulness and having healthy and positive self-talk.. you will get there.
You aren’t alone . I was there after a 12 year toxic marriage . It took me 3 years to really leave my house . It was a struggle to force myself to get out and do things that i used to truly love doing . Take it one day at a time . I took up photography and i swear it saved my life because through the lens suddenly the world had color again .
Fuck me up too same 11years with girl friend wich I was going to leave here after 3 months and tricked 11years after she got older men and left me with out kids
Sarah Don’t beat yourself up ! I am currently ending my 17 year marriage I’m 35 and I quit my job all of this the same month. I am hopeful for my new life !
“I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul.” - Bob Dylan. Recently divorced after 11 year marriage where I lost myself in trying to “earn” the conditional love of my wife. I finally woke up and am enjoying learning to love myself again. Thank you for this and all of your videos. They are so helpful!
@@Runfastgo so strange I just got an email that you posted this and that my original post was 5 years ago... Honestly, I'd say it's taken me almost all of those 5 years as I was gaslighted for years during the marriage and even after our divorce. We recently passed the 5 year mark of our divorce being finalized. It's been a struggle to (re)connect with myself but I've been intent on doing so and feel I am way more fully loving myself now than I was back then. When I first posted that I was really "learning to love myself again," just like I wrote. I feel like now I am actually loving myself. I wish you well in your journey on this tough but incredibly rewarding road!
It's such a lovely and lonely road to travel. Starting all the way over with no $ no friends no idea exactly what you want to do etc etc. I know this will pay off one day... Healing my soul.
"Think about how you want to feel in a relationship". This had never crossed my mind. I definitely want to act on this going forwards. I never got this out of my last marriage, and absolutely want it in my next.
This video is so eye opening for me. I realized today after an introspection that the sadness I feel post breakup with a narcissist is because I am not the same person I used to be. I lost myself. People change I get that, but I didn’t want to change the things I liked about myself like my self confidence ( that I worked so hard to get through my teens ), my goofiness or the way I was unafraid of new experiences. 10 years later, almost 2 years post breakup and I still feel miserable and scared. I did not understand why I feel that way. Now after watching this and reading the comments, I feel a little better already knowing that I am normal and that I am not alone going through this and that I can I overcome this. I have been wanting to take a kickboxing class to meet people and get out of my house more. Plus martial arts help with self confidence too.. I guess it’s time I act on it for my own sake.
After being in a relationship for a year, realizing there was so many insecurities and getting into toxic cycle of arguments. Got out feeling all over the place, just feeling low. Also reflecting where we went wrong, and writing down this is what I need to work on. Creating a new life for my self with the best version of myself.This has helped me feel better, thank you.
Me too was in a toxic relationship for two years since day 3 of the Relationship. I didn’t pay attention to the red flags. This was a learning experience. Now it’s time for me to reflect and work on me this is about growth and finding me again.
Thank you so very much for this message. I could not sleep last night tossing and turning I am separated from my husband of 9yrs. I have a Degree in occupational therapy I tried to take the exam too soon before the stress of a divorce and I failed it anyway. Coming out of a failed marriage I did not want to feel this expensive exam again. I was very broken after the first attempt. You have encouraged me to get up and do what I have to do for my own happiness thank you!
Thank you for saying you’ll never go back to being the old you because of experiences, etc. I haven’t had life without a narc so I’ve always felt down when people say you’ll be able to go back to your old self. I’m cautiously letting my personality out as I’m not completely narc free yet but I think it’s going to be fun to grow into the person I was supposed to be. Letting my guard down is the biggest stumbling block at the moment. I’m having fun learning new skills and doing things I like that the narc complained about.
As someone who recently got hurt by someone who I have loved since childhood and spent the last 10 years building a relationship for the future, seeing her on the bike trail with someone else devastated me. At age 63, I'm not bitter as I love her enough that I want her to be happy, even if that means without me. As an RN for 30 years, I have rarely ran into a person who speaks with such clarity and purpose. Thanks for the advice. God Bless you and yours
 I was stuck in life, playing games all day and doing nothing, and then a friend introduced me to this program called Forwago. Now I'm on a clear path forward and enjoy every day.
This is one of the best talks that I have seen/heard we actually gave you tools and action plans instead of talking about the emotional disc healing that which is all good except without the tools in the plans I’ve continued to feel stuck. Thank you so much for this!
omg! my ex called me today and was saying such mean things again, usually i feel so bad, overwhelmed and wishing for her love back, but after watching your videos i was able to keep calm and really feel I still love myself. just got off the phone with her and its 11:04pm and i can actually sleep, about to cook up some chickennn before that tho :D im going to watch alll your videos!
You are so awesome. I have hired a personal trainer and have been working out daily. I have just won my 90 day challenge and I will be starting my second challenge next year to wear the swimsuit I bought. I will be looking forward to the new year and all the great videos you will have for me to continue to grow and shape myself for my ideal man. Thank you so much.
Rachellesuzanne Lincoln think of what your favorite electives were in school. Anything you found fulfilling before the relationship? Just don't ever give up on finding those things that make you smile ♡
The first step would be to recognize that you are exactly where you should be - lost, confuse, angry, depressed... and that's ok. It's normal. Instead of fighting these feelings, embrace them. Look at them, observe them. Give yourself time to acknowledge them. When you stop fighting this state of mind, it will stop fighting you back. Then, take slow but progressive steps to emerge from yourself. Start slowly, no rushes. Eat well, go out in the nature, listen to your favorite songs, cook your favorite food. Get a good book, take time for yourself. Do some meditation, do some sports you enjoy doing, get a new hair cut, go out with a couple of friends and hang out. I know that it doesn't go from zero to full potential. But the thing is... don't think about fully potential. Take it a day at a time. Each morning say to yourself "Only for today, I will be happy. I will find things that make me smile. If I don't find them, I will create them." If you want I can indicate you a couple of TH-cam videos that helped me a lot (and still do). Everything happens for a reason. Even the hardest things. They exist to make us grow into our next level. We grow through pain. What seems to you as a loss and excruciating pain, will reveal itself to you, down at the Life's road, as a gift. A liberation. You are much more than you think you are. I trust you. Have a blessed day
André Conceição I would love to have your recommended videos. I have been discarded after 26 years' moving countries twice and having to start over again a 3rd time with my 9 year old....I want to move on from the place of hurting but cannot see the future only the past...
@@cherrieparrisb4750 sure! I started meditation during a very dark season of my life. I tried before but never managed to understand it. They say the teacher appears when the student is ready - I guess I wasn't ready before. Some of the most helpfull videos I found belong to Ajahm Brahm, an australian budist monk. You can search for the topics "four ways of letting go" or "freeing our minds from the mental prisons" . Another video I recomend is the "A monk's guide to happiness" by another monk called Gelong Thubten. Meditation appart, I also started to read about the Law of Attraction and study about relashionships involving narcissists. It helped me to realize whom I was dealing with for the past 20 years. I hope you go through this and rise above. You have all the potential to do so. Stay strong and keep going!
It really helps to hear you describe how I feel without even knowing me, then saying "you'll be ok". That this is normal, considering. But when you said "if you're watching this you're probably a quality person", it hit me deep somewhere and made me feel so much better. I dont know if you'll even read this. But thank you for your videos. They're making a difference in my life, sincerely.
I can introduce you to the most powerful relationship restorer who helped me got my ex back permanently with more love and commitment. He can help you and bless your relationship perfectly
I just went through a breakup back in February. We lost the love before we broke up but for some reason we were both holding on, because of the 5 years we spent long distant just meant so much to us since we invested so much time with eachother, that I think because we were together for so long that we were holding onto this hope inside even though we didn’t love eachother anymore and it was toxic. After we broke up, I left back to my parents and to be honest the reason I left finally was because I was talking to this new guy. And it made it easier to let him go. But the new guy did not last, I think he was just my way of being able to let him go. Anyways.. so few months in living at home I was perfectly fine, but slowly I started to miss my ex. All our old good memories flooded back in, and I just realized what I had. Before we moved in with eachother it was amazing. And it was love. But life just made us bitter and we lost it. But I for some reason remembered everything how I used to feel, and I started to realize that I wasn’t over my ex. That I still loved him. Or that idea of him. So I been beating myself up like crazy. Blaming myself. He was so wonderful and I self sabotaged myself and our relationship. This was my first time being single since I was in middle school. I was always with someone and had the habit from talking to someone else when I knew the relationship was coming to an end. Instead of ending a relationship then talking to someone. Another toxic trait of mine showing how much I need to be single and have my time by myself. I am very codependent I believe and I have watched your videos on that to help me understand that I am. I was abused in my relationship psychologically that I think I abused my 2nd one the one I just had a break up with. I didn’t know I was but I wasn’t that good to him and I think it was just my own insecurities and past that made me so on edge all the time and everything was micromanaged because I was so paranoid of getting hurt that I was only hurting myself and keeping myself from being truly happy. Anyways... it’s hard to let him go. Last night I just pick up the rest of my things from his apartments, after not seeing him for 8 months. I know he’s moved on . And he even picked up smoking weed. And that kills me. Because it’s so unlike him. But I guess it’s legal in Oregon and Washington so it’s fine. It just sat wrong in my stomach. I just hope he doesn’t go down the wrong path. Anyways. It’s hard for me not to feel broken . I never felt this way before where I love a person, but I don’t need them to want me back to live .. honestly I just want him to be happy. I just needed the peace of mind that he’s okay that all I care about. And I think that’s the. Most love I’ve ever felt before for a guy. Anyways... I’m new to this single life and it feels so uncomfortable and alone. And it feels like someone punched through my heart. My stomach has dropped. It’s hard. And it’s really hard to be hopeful. But your video I will be religiously watching from now on to get me through this. You’re always giving me great advice and it makes me not feel so alone. Thank you
Read your story. It's eerie how similar our stories are emotional wise. After I left my ex, he changed so much and when I went to get the last of my stuff from his place. His room (we were living with his father, sister amd nephew.. Which I very much disliked.) was completely different. Like he wanted very much to change and have no affiliations with me. It hurt. He was now a complete stranger that I still had strong feelings for. This was a over a year ago now but my heart still sometimes craves the person I thought I knew him as. Sorry to pour my heart out like that but It felt good. Thank you. :)
@@KittenKuddler I understand this so much. It’s true , I recently found out my ex moved out of our apartment and bought a new truck It’s like he has a whole new life now. But A few months Ago, I decided to spill my heart out to him through text about my about how I feel, and honestly it doesn’t matter anymore if he wants me or not. All that mattered to me is that he knew how I felt because it’s was too painful tho hold in and I feel like it was only keeping me from moving on . If he replies..fine. If he doesn’t, at least I don’t have to live with the “what if’s” . he never end up replying but I feel free now and I don’t regret it because now I’m moving on because I know there’s nothing else I can do. I’m happy now :) You talking about still loving him but he’s a stranger now reminded me of this song - Somebody Else by Flora Cash.
It's good to take some time to heal and find yourself again, and become a healthier and best version of yourself by doing the things you like to do. Cooking, reading, listening to music, Dancing, painting drawings, Different hobbies new skills is important including workouts. self care is the best way to put self love. Self confidence self control self progress, self worth, self value, all important. Get out of comfortable zone, when your feel ready, not before. Feed mind with love and positive happiness. Self educated. Forget about ex boyfriend, like kryptonite. Avoid narrastic man. Be better version of self self investment. Be your own hero be your own light. Train yourself.
i am a male and after seeking to help a recovering friend from a toxic relationship; i found your channel. so uplifting and thought inspiring. its clear you are speaking from experience and much forethought? I love your channel. I was raised to love other and maybe i am an Empath because of it. I am a retired Freelance Artist of Paint. Your videos give me hope that I share with others. I am no expert but know that others want happiness like i have had.thank you .
Day 2 after I broke up with my bf due to toxicity and his battle with addiction and alcohol. I feel like a child, literally everything I do alone now is all of a sudden so foreign. When he met me I was a year into my single journey and finding myself and felt amazing.. and then I lost it.. I couldn't even tell you how it happened. I felt like I took a wrong turn for the last year and 8 months and now just getting back to where I left off before I met him. Only this time I have learned a lot but yet nothing at all at the same time! I forced myself out today to this little tiny house/ cabin called getaway. I HIGHLY SUGGEST IT FOR ANYONE LOOKING TO UNPLUG AND TAKE SPACE TO JUST BE! I was terrified at first but now I never want to leave! I had a glass of wine, cooked spaghetti, listened to music, wrote in my journal, skin care, showered, listened to a podcast, read a bit, and now just watched your video while drinking a cup of coffee. Now it's 2:55am but I'm enjoying myself too much for it to end tomorrow. Yet extremely thankful and excited beyond belief what is to come from all of this and the start of my new beginning from what I thought was a horrible ending. We all are feeling similar yet living through different experiences and all come from our own lifes path and even though we may all feel alone, or scared for what's to come, afraid of failure, heartbroken, angry, ect. At least we know that we are not alone by any means and thanks to TH-cam we can all come together here, in ways to support and to remind others and ourselves that we are NOT alone. You are not a failure, you are beautiful, talented, loved, and it's never too late beginning or restarting your journey within. If you need a reminder today, then this is exactly that, for you. YOU WILL MAKE IT, YOU WILL ACCOMPLISH WHAT YOU SET OUT TO. YOU ARE READY. YOU WILL NOT ALLOW FEAR, YOUR EMOTIONS, OR EVEN ANOTHER PERSON'S EMOTIONS CONTROL YOU. DON'T ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE HELD BACK. YOU DON'T DESERVE THAT. THIS MIGHT JUST BE THE STEP THAT MAKES YOUR EVERY DREAM COME TRUE. IT'S OKAY TO BE SCARED, TO CRY, LASH OUT, FEEL NUMB, TURNING TO THE WRONG THINGS, JUST TRYING TO COPE AND BLOCK OUT THE FEELINGS. BUT IN ALL HONESTY, THESE ARE ALL NORMAL WAYS OF FEELING. BUT I AM HERE TO REMIND YOU... YOU ARE CAPABLE, YOU ARE ONLY ONE THOUGHT AWAY, FROM TAKING THAT NECESSARY STEP. IT'S OKAY IF YOU ARE NOT READY TO RUN, NOR WALK. ALL IT TAKES IS A STEP OR EVEN JUST A SIMPLE SHUFFLE OF THE FEET. YOU DON'T NEED TO TAKE STRIDES OR LEAP ON YOUR FIRST ATTEMPTS. I PROMISE THOUGH, IF YOU GIVE YOURSELF TIME, SPRINKLED WITH SOME EFFORT, YOU WILL LOOK BACK IN ASTONISHMENT WITH ALL YOU'VE ACHIEVED. WITH ALL YOUR PROGRESS YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE WHERE YOU FIRST BEGAN. HOWEVER, YOU MADE IT. WE are ALL HERE, READY TO TAKE OUR LIVE'S BACK, CONTINUING TO PUSHING FORWARD. AS THE CLICHE SAYING GOES, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." Xx Cheers and Amen. Xx
hi Stephanie! thank you so much for this video. I've been kind of in a slump lately feeling heartbroken and unmotivated but your video is really helping me to feel better and makes the changes that I need to make. i'm going to post it on my facebook timeline and share it with my friends.
debbie baldus ohh thank you for the love and support! I am so glad that you are starting to feel better and if anything I talk about helps inspire you or feel better then mission accomplished!! 💗 You got this! All the best!
I lost myself in my spouses culture. The clothes I wore, learning the language, food, lifestyle, vacations. Part of my retirement was going to be spent there. Now that it’s over (19 years) there is such a huge hole. Letting go of it all can be overwhelming. I still have my photography, woodworking and music. For me keeping up with the basics is first. Work, exercise, eating right (at least not eating unhealthy), sleep and some volunteering/giving. But I still don’t know what I want.....
I can introduce you to the most powerful relationship restorer who helped me got my ex back permanently with more love and commitment. He can help you and bless your relationship perfectly
This has got to be one of your BEST videos I’ve watched to help motivate and help me to see the value I have inside. Thank you so much ! Your words & advice changed my life and views forever 💜💜💜
3 years, broke up not bc we didn't love each other, but bc we lost the time to spend with each other and depended on each other too much. I still hold on to those memories, not to torture myself, but to tell myself that you can't make this pain be in vain just to go back to being the shy quiet person you used to be. Like Ms Lyn says, become the best version of yourself.
Getting back to my "routines" made me smile so much because it only involved me and nobody else externally. I loved spending time with that particular person but because she didn't apreciate me, for the 3rd time, i would rather be in my own company.
First of your videos that I’ve seen and love the message! It’s definitely all about reaching inward instead of seeking external validation, happiness etc! I just ended a relationship, starting anew chapter of my life. This is the first month im paying rent in the apartment that was meant for us both, I’m making friends, spending more time working, but also it’s so important to make that space for yourself to turn off the screens, music, to get away from people to be still and quiet and feel how you truly feel. But when you’ve not had friends and you’ve deprived yourself of your hobbies due to a relationship, it seems EVERYthing is new after separating in a relationship. But it can be exciting instead of overwhelming! This has inspired me I’m very passionate about self improvement and have come so far on my own and I am ready to start my blog, youtube, to finally pursue my goals. Your first advice about getting out of your comfort zone and doing what you want is so great because often times doing what you love is out of your comfort zone but we gotta start BEFORE we are ready! 👏
Stephanie! I listen to so many of your videos and I feel so grateful to be able to watch them because they meet so many of my needs (connection, understanding, being heard, etc.). I have been in Self-help groups like adult children of alcoholics and I see a therapist. I go to Inner Child retreat, meditation workshop, friends and I surf, scuba, paddle board, paint and try to go to the gym. My ex, worked and went home. She would tell me things like, “you’re too busy for a relationship”, “you’re trying so hard to not be codependent that your not compassionate”, and “you don’t make me a priority”. We dated six months. Within two or so months she was staying at my place Saturday morning through Monday morning, texting every day and a phone call every night. I tried to compromise and meet once a week after work for dinner. She soon started staying over one night a week. She wanted me to meet her parents and family in like month two. I really tried to have balance and not loose myself as I’ve done in the past. When she would have a commitment one weekend (literally one weekend) I was totally ok with it. Anyhow, she broke up with me after storming out one night after I mentioned I don’t feel like cuddling. She blamed me for everything saying I was selfish, all about me and my schedule. This was my first relationship where I wasn’t overtly codependent and I really did try to compromise with her, communicate with her and also find balance. Why go fast if we will be together for decades? Water the flower slowly. Anyhow, I feel so scared and ashamed by her comments. She was really mean and immature at the break up.
If you aren't ready for more, you aren't ready for more and that's the end of that and you didn't like her display of character in pushiness and meanness either, so it's good you found out now. On the other hand, if you really liked her and kept purposely withholding yourself because of fear... She may have felt unwanted, rejected, and that you were cold, offering less than the warmth and connection than she needs and wants. So if she's right...its great you guys broke up so she can find someone more compatible and you too. If you actually would like a relationship with more closeness and you really liked her, then let her know how wanted she is and how loved but you just have to move very slowly toward that closeness. If when knowing your interest level she still crosses your boundaries then that's a big red flag.
Great message and points within. Thank you so much. You are helping me recover from a 8 yr relationship with a person suffering from BPD & NPD. Again thank you x
Hi, just want to say thanks for your videos... everything is a challenge for me right now. I've completely lost myself due to a recent break up where I saw everything I ever wanted. Now it's flipped literally overnight. I'm lost and can't remember who I was before. All I know is what I don't want I listen to what you have to say trying desperately to find direction. Many thanks 😊
Where have I been all this time? Why I'm I seeing this for the first time? Ooh! Almost forgot. Procrastinating replaced my self-confidence, self-conscious and happiness. I love and cherish so much who I was 24 years ago. It's refreshing to not just hear but understand that I need to be a better version of who I was and not just go back to who I was. Thank you so much. I'm coming back. Stronger, happier and better than before. We start by me saying no and shutting the door to anything , anyone and everything that reminds or has caused me pain, suffering and pushed me in the corner of fear. I still run around with my ex-husband's surname. That's the first door I will shut. I was and will be a better person with my maiden name.
Dr Steve can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him
Thank you so much. This video really hit home with me. Last couple of months have been really difficult after undergoing a divorce from a cheating manipulator. I had lost myself and I’m finally starting to feel like I’m grabbing on to who I want to be. I started playing guitar again and spending time with friends and family that I couldn’t spend time with while I was married. I’m starting a new job and God willing it goes somewhere. Finally starting to feel optimistic about the direction my life is going so thank you.
Hi Michael I am actually going through the same thing my husband of 14 years cheated on me with my best friend for months behind my back. He was so manipulative and emotionally abusive towards me in the last year or so that got me so down. I was constantly drained anxious and depressed. After catching them and moving out with the kids I am slowly getting my life back in order. Unfortunately we have kids together and I can't cut him off completely especially since he's moved her into our old home. I wish you the best and good luck with the new career! I'm going back to college next month to further my education and get myself out there more.
I was working from home selling software and life was way too comfortable after my breakup. Perfect place that I’ve known for so long, the same friends, same bars, same routine. Recently I said fuck it and took my work with me on the road and let my lease expire rendering me technically homeless. Now I’m backpacking the US and recently I’ve had some anxiety and loneliness creep in. BUT its something that challenges and scares me and I have euphoric moments too. This helps me remain confident in my decision to throw away excess comfort and backpack. Thank you! She also tried reaching out to me as she heard about this trip and my success in sales and totally hit me with some of the narcissistic behaviors you detail.
I love how you explain these things. In general, it seems easier said than done, but the way you explain it gives me motivation right now. Glad I came across this video.
I feel soo broken I don’t know where to start from, have gone back home with nothing after trusting someone with my life he tells me he is tired of me , am broke and broken but trusting God for a better tomorrow, thank you for the video
I love that you are so inclusive in your videos. Most of the videos I have watched from other coaches focus on just the female demographic. I really appreciate you including everyone, not just women.
Finding ourselves after loss is mandatory in creating new patterns and avoiding history repeating itself. Creating a focus was key in my early recovery, and its one of the strategies I guide others with, who are in transition from hurtful circumstances. TIP: To find ourselves, we must ACCEPT the PAST. Often, bringing the past into our present, not only prevents future growth, but it comes with continued pain. And nothing knocks the wind from our sails like pain. So ACCEPT what we cannot change, make a GOAL, and CREATE ACTION towards that goal, DAILY. Best PRACTICES and WISHES for us ALL!
Thank you for making this video, I definitely felt like this spoke to me. I have a journaling app, so as I watched this video, I paused to make notes on the things you suggested. I've been with someone for 5 years, with the last 5 months being engaged. This person was not good for me, we clash in every way possible. I slowly lost myself and at times don't even know who I am. Eventually I was just "going with the motion." Once I broke it off, I definitely was a mess for those first two weeks. But as of late, I've been able to think a lot clearer. Now I've just been looking for ways to rebuild myself, my confidence, some sort of guidance. I've also been meditating more. This will be an interesting journey of self healing and self discovery. This video definitely helps me with this journey! Thanks Stephanie! Peace and love
I have been watching Stephanie's videos for about 8 months. After all that time, my narcissist ex is finally out of my house and I am changing the locks. This is the first thing I watched after they drove off for good (lets hope). I am so excited to get life moving again. Thank you so much for all your advice and support Stephanie! I couldn't have gotten this far without you!
I have felt so much better listening to your videos. I was in a relationship for three and a half years. I really wanted our relationship to last forever. But he just didn’t give much to our relationship. Not knowing when I was seeing him. I think I must have seemed needy in the end. He just stopped calling me and haven’t seen or heard from in for months. I know l will have to give myself time to build self confidence and self loving myself. Then hopefully one day I will meet someone who will love me. xx
Your videos are helping me so much! I am already in a better place mentally than I was a month ago from listening to your videos. Learning so much and becoming more self aware every day! Thank you! 💜
thank you Stephanie! Your coaching videos are priceless. I'm trying to put one foot in front of the other. during my marriage to a covert narcissist I developed a brain tumor. I went through surgery to have it removed and made it through but still having to cohabitate with the narc. I don't know how I've done it thusfar I only have small deficits from the tumor but depression have it's grip on me. I've isolated myself and let myself go. I'm battling everyday to survive and I'm determined to find the new, improved and enlightened ME. The one positive side to this is knowing how empty and miserable my ex narc is only makes me love and appreciate the person I am more.
Hi Stephanie, Found your videos a few weeks ago. Today I'v been listening to a lot of them. Eye, mind and heartopening. Thank you for sharing, teaching and guiding.❤
This was awesome. You’re a very clear and selfless speaker… it’s quite moving. Very genuine in dishing out quality information to help intentional people. Thank you Stephanie ♥️
Super helpful video. I got dumped LAST July from a 5.5 year long relationship and am still struggling with it. He has moved on already which still hurts deep down regardless of me learning my self worth and I’m better off. It just hurts deep down and always makes me wonder why I wasn’t good enough
I can introduce you to the most powerful relationship restorer who helped me got my ex back permanently with more love and commitment. He can help you and bless your relationship perfectly
I was briefly married to a young girl who turned out to be codependent on her narcissistic grandmother....my ex-wife left me after only 2 months of marriage.....I tried so very hard to convince her to come back, but it was no good....the only thing that would get her to do that was for me to allow her grandmother to come live with us and for me to give her grandmother all the narcissistic supply she needed, and I was not going to do that. After our divorce, I tailspun into a huge depression.....every single thing that had brought me joy in my life no longer did that for me. It affected my health, I gained weight, it affected my job performance, and I just cried all the time in private. I actually thought a few times about ending my life, I jsut didn't want to live anymore. I felt that I was doomed to live out the rest of my life alone, broken, and worthless. It took me nearly 5 years but I finally pulled myself out of it, and made up my mind to start living again. I should have been in therapy a lot sooner, maybe it would not have taken so long. I am actually in therapy now to deal with the residual feelings, most notably a feeling that I never got complete closure from my ex-wife. Finding oneself is the key to recovering from this.
nursesteve2004 - The no closure thing is the one thing to have us never happy to be able to move on and constantly torture us ☝🏼 The key to totally disregarding the need for any closure has to be the absolute realisation that these “people” (vampires) do not have not and cannot possess the ability to love - ie: they do not care ! Think about it if someone does not care (mind bending for an Empath to accept) then they will not be thinking about you in the same ways you’ll be thinking about them - they will not miss you - they will not ache in any way for you (except your money) so once you realise that the hope you have that they might just think or care for you is actually a complete false hope then it’s time to stop wasting your time hoping for some sort of closure that WILL NEVER COME. Once you realise the closure thing is a complete waste of your time then it won’t matter any more. The fact you finally realised this person was completely incompatible for you is where the closure victory lives 🤓🙏🏼
well said .I need to invest in myself stop living for my spouse my grown kids .Thank you in tears love love the impact of your thoughts and ideas!! thank you so much Stephanie.
Im sitting here crying for the 1st time in months. Yes, I've lost myself after 14 yrs of emotional (learning the man i loved never loved me back. He admitted it and admitted he cant see me the same now that i cant work and earn money because he imagined a better life. He grew up rich and for 7 yrs I would just hand over my paycheck. He loved that but i didnt know that was why he showed me love. I genuinely thought he loved me for me) abuse but through that time I was diagnosed with a very rare debilitating disease and now i live with pain, often sick, and I cant do the things that used to fulfill me. Trying to discover new things is so hard. Doesnt help that i have to wait another yr for the divorce to go through and he has blocked me access to money. :(
Addiction destroyed me and my family and now that I am on the other side of it I don’t blame my wife for leaving after 32 years I’m alone and lost and feel the guilt and shame daily it’s torture. Being clean for several months I feel the pain in my heart and can’t believe I hurt everyone so horribly but it happened and I lost everything and everyone. Devastated. Have to learn to get my confidence back and self esteem back and dignity. But the hurt is overwhelming having to watch her eventually move on without me. So terrible it sent me to the hospital felt like my heart is breaking and beating out of my chest. Can’t stop thinking of her and her moving on it’s killing me.
First relationship I’ve ever had lasted 5 months. It doesn’t sound like much but I was a junior in Highschool, she abused me and made sure every second of every day was spent on her, she knows all about mentality and how to use people and destroy them when it’s over. I finally left her and she destroyed me and I’ve spent all my days just sleeping.
This is such a good and helpful video! I have never knew who i am but now after divorce it is even worse. I need to start living my own life and this video have given me directions. I can't thank you enough. Please do more videos on finding / returning to myself topic.
You are Awesome.💓💓💓 your Videos are So Very Helpful In so Many areas of My Life! I Appreciate your Life for the content you provide to this community!! I love the comments from others, lets me know I’m not alone or crazy in this life! Self Positive Love you are teaching me! Blessing to You🌈
Love this video...i have no idea the things I used to love...im just blank and numb and I have no drive to even be around people...This was super helpful😗
Just can’t wait to jump in my car before and after work just to listen to your videos. They help me so much. Without them, I’m not sure where I’ll be today. I’m so grateful, thank you so much and to your parents for giving you life.
I have been there, 4 month ago, just after a breakup from a loong relationship... and here i am listening to this for the second time and so proud of myself, and my journey. It is a process, still going on. But i surely can see the change. Thank youuu for this video. 🙏🏽❤❤
Its a long process but I am too starting to see hope of a new beginning after many months of hard time. I still have strong feeling for my EX bit coping better. Both the video and your comments people are helping. Thank you
Stephanie Lynn you're fantastic of what you're teaching I have gone through the divorce with a narcissistic person don't want them back know what to look for now after being around them for 7 years I'm happy I sleep better I'm calm I get to do what I want to do stop trying to do things to make them happy and never worked so I'm in a good place and I appreciate your help and all that you do your beautiful person inside and out and an intelligent on top of that thank you and I will continue to listen I've learned from you
When I wake up in the morning the first thing I like to do is watch your videos. Through my failed marriage that they cheated on me with and my 2nd failed looong relationship with a girl diagnosed with NPD who abandoned me with no contact or care. I would go AS FAR as to say that your videos have been one of the key factors that helped me stay afloat and not do anything I would regret heavily
I need to get my peace back, just went through 2 yrs of problems with my daughter, I have tell myself every 5 minutes..its Not my problem, I helped her the best I could ,
It's like that, u end up basing your whole existence on catering to them, that when u are free, your not sure what to do, there's alot u can do, but nothing is urgent! Your not rushing around trying to please them!
I listen to all your videos to just get me through the moment. What happens if there is really nothing you like to do? What happens if you don’t have the time or money? I want to get through this and start feeling better.
![ILLSLICK - WINTER IS COMING [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dwTMeM1zIhQ/mqdefault.jpg)
1. Do what you love to do.
2. Get out of comfort zone to grow to gain self confidence. Take baby steps.
3. Make list of what you want in life partner, all traits you want to have, list on how to feel in relationship.
4. Do affirmation, meditation to take charge.
5. Goals, dreams, purpose of life, what is happiness for you, what you want in life, how you want your life for yourself.
6. Take action.
7. Invest in yourself.
Feed your mind with books, workshops, positive affirmations, meditations. This has been massively transforming for me. 🙏🏼 Stephanie. your videos are inspiring and motivating.
i agree! :)
thank you for sharing. these things also help me a lot during the rock-bottom period.
I feel stupid for waiting 12 years in a toxic marriage I knew I was bad from the get go. I don't even KNOW what I love to do!! What makes me excited?? I have no idea. I've felt nothing but a deep darkness for so long.
First do not get down on yourself for waiting 12 years.. someone never ever get to where you are. They stay suck forever! You should actually be so very proud of yourself for getting out! Rediscovering who you are does take time especially after being in a toxic relationship for so long.. that is totally normal. Focus on learning how to love yourself and what that means. Learn how to start practicing mindfulness and having healthy and positive self-talk.. you will get there.
You aren’t alone . I was there after a 12 year toxic marriage . It took me 3 years to really leave my house . It was a struggle to force myself to get out and do things that i used to truly love doing . Take it one day at a time . I took up photography and i swear it saved my life because through the lens suddenly the world had color again .
Fuck me up too same 11years with girl friend wich I was going to leave here after 3 months and tricked 11years after she got older men and left me with out kids
Sarah Lundeen me too . Exactly. Feeling it right now
Sarah Don’t beat yourself up ! I am currently ending my 17 year marriage I’m 35 and I quit my job all of this the same month. I am hopeful for my new life !
“I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul.” - Bob Dylan.
Recently divorced after 11 year marriage where I lost myself in trying to “earn” the conditional love of my wife. I finally woke up and am enjoying learning to love myself again. Thank you for this and all of your videos. They are so helpful!
Michael D thank you so much! I am so glad you are enjoying them and that they are helping!
@@StephanieLynCoaching f
How long did it take you?
@@Runfastgo so strange I just got an email that you posted this and that my original post was 5 years ago... Honestly, I'd say it's taken me almost all of those 5 years as I was gaslighted for years during the marriage and even after our divorce. We recently passed the 5 year mark of our divorce being finalized. It's been a struggle to (re)connect with myself but I've been intent on doing so and feel I am way more fully loving myself now than I was back then. When I first posted that I was really "learning to love myself again," just like I wrote. I feel like now I am actually loving myself. I wish you well in your journey on this tough but incredibly rewarding road!
@@MD-mh6iu Ok thank you. I appreciate the feedback
It's such a lovely and lonely road to travel. Starting all the way over with no $ no friends no idea exactly what you want to do etc etc. I know this will pay off one day... Healing my soul.
"Think about how you want to feel in a relationship". This had never crossed my mind. I definitely want to act on this going forwards. I never got this out of my last marriage, and absolutely want it in my next.
Yeah, a lot of us who ended up in this situation had no idea this and many other things were a thing.
This video is so eye opening for me. I realized today after an introspection that the sadness I feel post breakup with a narcissist is because I am not the same person I used to be. I lost myself. People change I get that, but I didn’t want to change the things I liked about myself like my self confidence ( that I worked so hard to get through my teens ), my goofiness or the way I was unafraid of new experiences. 10 years later, almost 2 years post breakup and I still feel miserable and scared. I did not understand why I feel that way. Now after watching this and reading the comments, I feel a little better already knowing that I am normal and that I am not alone going through this and that I can I overcome this. I have been wanting to take a kickboxing class to meet people and get out of my house more. Plus martial arts help with self confidence too.. I guess it’s time I act on it for my own sake.
Hi my friend, how is it going now?
After being in a relationship for a year, realizing there was so many insecurities and getting into toxic cycle of arguments. Got out feeling all over the place, just feeling low. Also reflecting where we went wrong, and writing down this is what I need to work on. Creating a new life for my self with the best version of myself.This has helped me feel better, thank you.
Me too was in a toxic relationship for two years since day 3 of the
Relationship. I didn’t pay attention to the red flags. This was a learning experience. Now it’s time for me to reflect and work on me this is about growth and finding me again.
Thank you so very much for this message. I could not sleep last night tossing and turning I am separated from my husband of 9yrs. I have a Degree in occupational therapy I tried to take the exam too soon before the stress of a divorce and I failed it anyway. Coming out of a failed marriage I did not want to feel this expensive exam again. I was very broken after the first attempt. You have encouraged me to get up and do what I have to do for my own happiness thank you!
I am so glad! You got this! 💗
Thank you for saying you’ll never go back to being the old you because of experiences, etc. I haven’t had life without a narc so I’ve always felt down when people say you’ll be able to go back to your old self. I’m cautiously letting my personality out as I’m not completely narc free yet but I think it’s going to be fun to grow into the person I was supposed to be. Letting my guard down is the biggest stumbling block at the moment. I’m having fun learning new skills and doing things I like that the narc complained about.
As someone who recently got hurt by someone who I have loved since childhood and spent the last 10 years building a relationship for the future, seeing her on the bike trail with someone else devastated me. At age 63, I'm not bitter as I love her enough that I want her to be happy, even if that means without me.
As an RN for 30 years, I have rarely ran into a person who speaks with such clarity and purpose. Thanks for the advice. God Bless you and yours

I was stuck in life, playing games all day and doing nothing, and then a friend introduced me to this program called Forwago. Now I'm on a clear path forward and enjoy every day.
Ive just found your videos and theyre helping me so much. I'm gaining that self love and worth back, new subscriber!
This is one of the best talks that I have seen/heard we actually gave you tools and action plans instead of talking about the emotional disc healing that which is all good except without the tools in the plans I’ve continued to feel stuck. Thank you so much for this!
omg! my ex called me today and was saying such mean things again, usually i feel so bad, overwhelmed and wishing for her love back, but after watching your videos i was able to keep calm and really feel I still love myself. just got off the phone with her and its 11:04pm and i can actually sleep, about to cook up some chickennn before that tho :D im going to watch alll your videos!
How'd fair up, brother? Would love some tips, going through it.
You are so awesome. I have hired a personal trainer and have been working out daily. I have just won my 90 day challenge and I will be starting my second challenge next year to wear the swimsuit I bought. I will be looking forward to the new year and all the great videos you will have for me to continue to grow and shape myself for my ideal man. Thank you so much.
You did inspire me. I needed it. I took today to sleep and rest so I can get going. Wishing you the best as we launch into a new year.
Thank you! I'm so glad you felt inspired.. Mission Accomplished!
What if you're so damaged you don't even know what you like to do anymore let alone know where to start again?
Rachellesuzanne Lincoln think of what your favorite electives were in school. Anything you found fulfilling before the relationship? Just don't ever give up on finding those things that make you smile ♡
sorry to read your very sad message , please mind yourself , sending you a warm hugs..
The first step would be to recognize that you are exactly where you should be - lost, confuse, angry, depressed... and that's ok.
It's normal.
Instead of fighting these feelings, embrace them. Look at them, observe them. Give yourself time to acknowledge them. When you stop fighting this state of mind, it will stop fighting you back.
Then, take slow but progressive steps to emerge from yourself.
Start slowly, no rushes.
Eat well, go out in the nature, listen to your favorite songs, cook your favorite food. Get a good book, take time for yourself. Do some meditation, do some sports you enjoy doing, get a new hair cut, go out with a couple of friends and hang out.
I know that it doesn't go from zero to full potential. But the thing is... don't think about fully potential. Take it a day at a time. Each morning say to yourself "Only for today, I will be happy. I will find things that make me smile. If I don't find them, I will create them."
If you want I can indicate you a couple of TH-cam videos that helped me a lot (and still do).
Everything happens for a reason. Even the hardest things. They exist to make us grow into our next level. We grow through pain.
What seems to you as a loss and excruciating pain, will reveal itself to you, down at the Life's road, as a gift. A liberation.
You are much more than you think you are.
I trust you.
Have a blessed day
André Conceição I would love to have your recommended videos. I have been discarded after 26 years' moving countries twice and having to start over again a 3rd time with my 9 year old....I want to move on from the place of hurting but cannot see the future only the past...
@@cherrieparrisb4750 sure! I started meditation during a very dark season of my life. I tried before but never managed to understand it. They say the teacher appears when the student is ready - I guess I wasn't ready before.
Some of the most helpfull videos I found belong to Ajahm Brahm, an australian budist monk. You can search for the topics "four ways of letting go" or "freeing our minds from the mental prisons" .
Another video I recomend is the "A monk's guide to happiness" by another monk called Gelong Thubten.
Meditation appart, I also started to read about the Law of Attraction and study about relashionships involving narcissists. It helped me to realize whom I was dealing with for the past 20 years.
I hope you go through this and rise above. You have all the potential to do so.
Stay strong and keep going!
It really helps to hear you describe how I feel without even knowing me, then saying "you'll be ok". That this is normal, considering. But when you said "if you're watching this you're probably a quality person", it hit me deep somewhere and made me feel so much better. I dont know if you'll even read this. But thank you for your videos. They're making a difference in my life, sincerely.
I can introduce you to the most powerful relationship restorer who helped me got my ex back permanently with more love and commitment. He can help you and bless your relationship perfectly
What sApp him
+2347030894892🙏🏾 🙏🏾
I just went through a breakup back in February. We lost the love before we broke up but for some reason we were both holding on, because of the 5 years we spent long distant just meant so much to us since we invested so much time with eachother, that I think because we were together for so long that we were holding onto this hope inside even though we didn’t love eachother anymore and it was toxic. After we broke up, I left back to my parents and to be honest the reason I left finally was because I was talking to this new guy. And it made it easier to let him go. But the new guy did not last, I think he was just my way of being able to let him go. Anyways.. so few months in living at home I was perfectly fine, but slowly I started to miss my ex. All our old good memories flooded back in, and I just realized what I had. Before we moved in with eachother it was amazing. And it was love. But life just made us bitter and we lost it. But I for some reason remembered everything how I used to feel, and I started to realize that I wasn’t over my ex. That I still loved him. Or that idea of him. So I been beating myself up like crazy. Blaming myself. He was so wonderful and I self sabotaged myself and our relationship. This was my first time being single since I was in middle school. I was always with someone and had the habit from talking to someone else when I knew the relationship was coming to an end. Instead of ending a relationship then talking to someone. Another toxic trait of mine showing how much I need to be single and have my time by myself. I am very codependent I believe and I have watched your videos on that to help me understand that I am. I was abused in my relationship psychologically that I think I abused my 2nd one the one I just had a break up with. I didn’t know I was but I wasn’t that good to him and I think it was just my own insecurities and past that made me so on edge all the time and everything was micromanaged because I was so paranoid of getting hurt that I was only hurting myself and keeping myself from being truly happy. Anyways... it’s hard to let him go. Last night I just pick up the rest of my things from his apartments, after not seeing him for 8 months. I know he’s moved on . And he even picked up smoking weed. And that kills me. Because it’s so unlike him. But I guess it’s legal in Oregon and Washington so it’s fine. It just sat wrong in my stomach. I just hope he doesn’t go down the wrong path. Anyways. It’s hard for me not to feel broken . I never felt this way before where I love a person, but I don’t need them to want me back to live .. honestly I just want him to be happy. I just needed the peace of mind that he’s okay that all I care about. And I think that’s the. Most love I’ve ever felt before for a guy. Anyways... I’m new to this single life and it feels so uncomfortable and alone. And it feels like someone punched through my heart. My stomach has dropped. It’s hard. And it’s really hard to be hopeful. But your video I will be religiously watching from now on to get me through this. You’re always giving me great advice and it makes me not feel so alone. Thank you
Read your story. It's eerie how similar our stories are emotional wise. After I left my ex, he changed so much and when I went to get the last of my stuff from his place. His room (we were living with his father, sister amd nephew.. Which I very much disliked.) was completely different. Like he wanted very much to change and have no affiliations with me. It hurt. He was now a complete stranger that I still had strong feelings for. This was a over a year ago now but my heart still sometimes craves the person I thought I knew him as.
Sorry to pour my heart out like that but It felt good. Thank you. :)
@@KittenKuddler I understand this so much. It’s true , I recently found out my ex moved out of our apartment and bought a new truck It’s like he has a whole new life now. But A few months Ago, I decided to spill my heart out to him through text about my about how I feel, and honestly it doesn’t matter anymore if he wants me or not. All that mattered to me is that he knew how I felt because it’s was too painful tho hold in and I feel like it was only keeping me from moving on . If he replies..fine. If he doesn’t, at least I don’t have to live with the “what if’s” . he never end up replying but I feel free now and I don’t regret it because now I’m moving on because I know there’s nothing else I can do. I’m happy now :)
You talking about still loving him but he’s a stranger now reminded me of this song - Somebody Else by Flora Cash.
It's good to take some time to heal and find yourself again, and become a healthier and best version of yourself by doing the things you like to do.
Cooking, reading, listening to music, Dancing, painting drawings,
Different hobbies new skills is important including workouts.
self care is the best way to put self love. Self confidence self control self progress, self worth,
self value, all important.
Get out of comfortable zone, when your feel ready, not before.
Feed mind with love and positive happiness.
Self educated.
Forget about ex boyfriend, like kryptonite. Avoid narrastic man.
Be better version of self self investment. Be your own hero be your own light.
Train yourself.
i am a male and after seeking to help a recovering friend from a toxic relationship; i found your channel. so uplifting and thought inspiring. its clear you are speaking from experience and much forethought? I love your channel. I was raised to love other and maybe i am an Empath because of it. I am a retired Freelance Artist of Paint. Your videos give me hope that I share with others. I am no expert but know that others want happiness like i have had.thank you .
Thanks good message. Wake up call to start invest in myself so I can do the things that I need and want in life.
Day 2 after I broke up with my bf due to toxicity and his battle with addiction and alcohol. I feel like a child, literally everything I do alone now is all of a sudden so foreign. When he met me I was a year into my single journey and finding myself and felt amazing.. and then I lost it.. I couldn't even tell you how it happened. I felt like I took a wrong turn for the last year and 8 months and now just getting back to where I left off before I met him. Only this time I have learned a lot but yet nothing at all at the same time! I forced myself out today to this little tiny house/ cabin called getaway. I HIGHLY SUGGEST IT FOR ANYONE LOOKING TO UNPLUG AND TAKE SPACE TO JUST BE! I was terrified at first but now I never want to leave! I had a glass of wine, cooked spaghetti, listened to music, wrote in my journal, skin care, showered, listened to a podcast, read a bit, and now just watched your video while drinking a cup of coffee. Now it's 2:55am but I'm enjoying myself too much for it to end tomorrow. Yet extremely thankful and excited beyond belief what is to come from all of this and the start of my new beginning from what I thought was a horrible ending. We all are feeling similar yet living through different experiences and all come from our own lifes path and even though we may all feel alone, or scared for what's to come, afraid of failure, heartbroken, angry, ect. At least we know that we are not alone by any means and thanks to TH-cam we can all come together here, in ways to support and to remind others and ourselves that we are NOT alone. You are not a failure, you are beautiful, talented, loved, and it's never too late beginning or restarting your journey within. If you need a reminder today, then this is exactly that, for you. YOU WILL MAKE IT, YOU WILL ACCOMPLISH WHAT YOU SET OUT TO. YOU ARE READY. YOU WILL NOT ALLOW FEAR, YOUR EMOTIONS, OR EVEN ANOTHER PERSON'S EMOTIONS CONTROL YOU. DON'T ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE HELD BACK. YOU DON'T DESERVE THAT. THIS MIGHT JUST BE THE STEP THAT MAKES YOUR EVERY DREAM COME TRUE. IT'S OKAY TO BE SCARED, TO CRY, LASH OUT, FEEL NUMB, TURNING TO THE WRONG THINGS, JUST TRYING TO COPE AND BLOCK OUT THE FEELINGS. BUT IN ALL HONESTY, THESE ARE ALL NORMAL WAYS OF FEELING. BUT I AM HERE TO REMIND YOU... YOU ARE CAPABLE, YOU ARE ONLY ONE THOUGHT AWAY, FROM TAKING THAT NECESSARY STEP. IT'S OKAY IF YOU ARE NOT READY TO RUN, NOR WALK. ALL IT TAKES IS A STEP OR EVEN JUST A SIMPLE SHUFFLE OF THE FEET. YOU DON'T NEED TO TAKE STRIDES OR LEAP ON YOUR FIRST ATTEMPTS. I PROMISE THOUGH, IF YOU GIVE YOURSELF TIME, SPRINKLED WITH SOME EFFORT, YOU WILL LOOK BACK IN ASTONISHMENT WITH ALL YOU'VE ACHIEVED. WITH ALL YOUR PROGRESS YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE WHERE YOU FIRST BEGAN. HOWEVER, YOU MADE IT.
WE are ALL HERE, READY TO TAKE OUR LIVE'S BACK, CONTINUING TO PUSHING FORWARD.
AS THE CLICHE SAYING GOES, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
Xx Cheers and Amen. Xx
hi Stephanie! thank you so much for this video. I've been kind of in a slump lately feeling heartbroken and unmotivated but your video is really helping me to feel better and makes the changes that I need to make. i'm going to post it on my facebook timeline and share it with my friends.
debbie baldus ohh thank you for the love and support! I am so glad that you are starting to feel better and if anything I talk about helps inspire you or feel better then mission accomplished!! 💗
You got this! All the best!
Your child is gonna be so proud of you one day!
I lost myself in my spouses culture. The clothes I wore, learning the language, food, lifestyle, vacations. Part of my retirement was going to be spent there. Now that it’s over (19 years) there is such a huge hole. Letting go of it all can be overwhelming. I still have my photography, woodworking and music. For me keeping up with the basics is first. Work, exercise, eating right (at least not eating unhealthy), sleep and some volunteering/giving. But I still don’t know what I want.....
I can introduce you to the most powerful relationship restorer who helped me got my ex back permanently with more love and commitment. He can help you and bless your relationship perfectly
What sApp him
+2347030894892🙏🏾 🙏🏾
I feed myself with your wisdom for couple of days and I finnally feel that my healing moved ahead like a rocket. I love it. THANK YOU ❤️
Greatest Talk you hear
Is the Talk you give
yourself Daily 🗣
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This has got to be one of your BEST videos I’ve watched to help motivate and help me to see the value I have inside. Thank you so much ! Your words & advice changed my life and views forever 💜💜💜
3 years, broke up not bc we didn't love each other, but bc we lost the time to spend with each other and depended on each other too much. I still hold on to those memories, not to torture myself, but to tell myself that you can't make this pain be in vain just to go back to being the shy quiet person you used to be. Like Ms Lyn says, become the best version of yourself.
Same for us, we had to let go of each other but love was so much here
I'm going to finish my 4th book and start writing my scripts.
I like how you mentioned the list on yourself and what you could bring into a relationship. That was my favorite part thank you! :)
Getting back to my "routines" made me smile so much because it only involved me and nobody else externally. I loved spending time with that particular person but because she didn't apreciate me, for the 3rd time, i would rather be in my own company.
First of your videos that I’ve seen and love the message! It’s definitely all about reaching inward instead of seeking external validation, happiness etc! I just ended a relationship, starting anew chapter of my life. This is the first month im paying rent in the apartment that was meant for us both, I’m making friends, spending more time working, but also it’s so important to make that space for yourself to turn off the screens, music, to get away from people to be still and quiet and feel how you truly feel. But when you’ve not had friends and you’ve deprived yourself of your hobbies due to a relationship, it seems EVERYthing is new after separating in a relationship. But it can be exciting instead of overwhelming! This has inspired me I’m very passionate about self improvement and have come so far on my own and I am ready to start my blog, youtube, to finally pursue my goals. Your first advice about getting out of your comfort zone and doing what you want is so great because often times doing what you love is out of your comfort zone but we gotta start BEFORE we are ready! 👏
Stephanie! I listen to so many of your videos and I feel so grateful to be able to watch them because they meet so many of my needs (connection, understanding, being heard, etc.). I have been in Self-help groups like adult children of alcoholics and I see a therapist. I go to Inner Child retreat, meditation workshop, friends and I surf, scuba, paddle board, paint and try to go to the gym. My ex, worked and went home. She would tell me things like, “you’re too busy for a relationship”, “you’re trying so hard to not be codependent that your not compassionate”, and “you don’t make me a priority”. We dated six months. Within two or so months she was staying at my place Saturday morning through Monday morning, texting every day and a phone call every night. I tried to compromise and meet once a week after work for dinner. She soon started staying over one night a week. She wanted me to meet her parents and family in like month two. I really tried to have balance and not loose myself as I’ve done in the past. When she would have a commitment one weekend (literally one weekend) I was totally ok with it. Anyhow, she broke up with me after storming out one night after I mentioned I don’t feel like cuddling. She blamed me for everything saying I was selfish, all about me and my schedule. This was my first relationship where I wasn’t overtly codependent and I really did try to compromise with her, communicate with her and also find balance. Why go fast if we will be together for decades? Water the flower slowly. Anyhow, I feel so scared and ashamed by her comments. She was really mean and immature at the break up.
If you aren't ready for more, you aren't ready for more and that's the end of that and you didn't like her display of character in pushiness and meanness either, so it's good you found out now.
On the other hand, if you really liked her and kept purposely withholding yourself because of fear...
She may have felt unwanted, rejected, and that you were cold, offering less than the warmth and connection than she needs and wants. So if she's right...its great you guys broke up so she can find someone more compatible and you too. If you actually would like a relationship with more closeness and you really liked her, then let her know how wanted she is and how loved but you just have to move very slowly toward that closeness. If when knowing your interest level she still crosses your boundaries then that's a big red flag.
Great job on this video, you mentioned everything I wanted to know. Videos like this iz why I dumped my therapist. You`re awesome...
Thanks so much again.
Just signed up to my own Boot Camp.
Be Well
🙏☀️❤️🪶
Great message and points within. Thank you so much.
You are helping me recover from a 8 yr relationship with a person suffering from BPD & NPD.
Again thank you x
Hi, just want to say thanks for your videos... everything is a challenge for me right now. I've completely lost myself due to a recent break up where I saw everything I ever wanted.
Now it's flipped literally overnight. I'm lost and can't remember who I was before. All I know is what I don't want I listen to what you have to say trying desperately to find direction.
Many thanks 😊
Where have I been all this time? Why I'm I seeing this for the first time? Ooh! Almost forgot. Procrastinating replaced my self-confidence, self-conscious and happiness. I love and cherish so much who I was 24 years ago. It's refreshing to not just hear but understand that I need to be a better version of who I was and not just go back to who I was. Thank you so much. I'm coming back. Stronger, happier and better than before. We start by me saying no and shutting the door to anything , anyone and everything that reminds or has caused me pain, suffering and pushed me in the corner of fear. I still run around with my ex-husband's surname. That's the first door I will shut. I was and will be a better person with my maiden name.
Great set of advices! This woman is becoming my online guru....great for me!
I will find myself again..I promise.
Thank you for this awakening that you brought.
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I’ve been listening to a different one of your videos everyday for the past month and they help me every morning.🙏🏽
Thank you so much. This video really hit home with me. Last couple of months have been really difficult after undergoing a divorce from a cheating manipulator. I had lost myself and I’m finally starting to feel like I’m grabbing on to who I want to be. I started playing guitar again and spending time with friends and family that I couldn’t spend time with while I was married. I’m starting a new job and God willing it goes somewhere. Finally starting to feel optimistic about the direction my life is going so thank you.
Hi Michael I am actually going through the same thing my husband of 14 years cheated on me with my best friend for months behind my back. He was so manipulative and emotionally abusive towards me in the last year or so that got me so down. I was constantly drained anxious and depressed. After catching them and moving out with the kids I am slowly getting my life back in order. Unfortunately we have kids together and I can't cut him off completely especially since he's moved her into our old home. I wish you the best and good luck with the new career! I'm going back to college next month to further my education and get myself out there more.
Michael Cavett you will be okay just think and go out
You are my favorite TH-cam life coach!
I was working from home selling software and life was way too comfortable after my breakup. Perfect place that I’ve known for so long, the same friends, same bars, same routine. Recently I said fuck it and took my work with me on the road and let my lease expire rendering me technically homeless. Now I’m backpacking the US and recently I’ve had some anxiety and loneliness creep in. BUT its something that challenges and scares me and I have euphoric moments too. This helps me remain confident in my decision to throw away excess comfort and backpack. Thank you! She also tried reaching out to me as she heard about this trip and my success in sales and totally hit me with some of the narcissistic behaviors you detail.
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So helpful! I’ve listened to this several times. It is starting to sink in😀 Many thanks!!
Thank you for all your videos. So so helpful and the perfect one pops up on my TH-cam everyday!!
Thank you so much!! It feels so good to listen to your explanations and advices. Thank you.
I love how you explain these things. In general, it seems easier said than done, but the way you explain it gives me motivation right now. Glad I came across this video.
It is not easy to do these things but I am so glad the videos are giving you motivation to keep at it.
I feel soo broken I don’t know where to start from, have gone back home with nothing after trusting someone with my life he tells me he is tired of me , am broke and broken but trusting God for a better tomorrow, thank you for the video
I love that you are so inclusive in your videos. Most of the videos I have watched from other coaches focus on just the female demographic. I really appreciate you including everyone, not just women.
Finding ourselves after loss is mandatory in creating new patterns and avoiding history repeating itself. Creating a focus was key in my early recovery, and its one of the strategies I guide others with, who are in transition from hurtful circumstances. TIP: To find ourselves, we must ACCEPT the PAST. Often, bringing the past into our present, not only prevents future growth, but it comes with continued pain. And nothing knocks the wind from our sails like pain. So ACCEPT what we cannot change, make a GOAL, and CREATE ACTION towards that goal, DAILY. Best PRACTICES and WISHES for us ALL!
Thank you for making this video, I definitely felt like this spoke to me. I have a journaling app, so as I watched this video, I paused to make notes on the things you suggested. I've been with someone for 5 years, with the last 5 months being engaged. This person was not good for me, we clash in every way possible. I slowly lost myself and at times don't even know who I am. Eventually I was just "going with the motion." Once I broke it off, I definitely was a mess for those first two weeks. But as of late, I've been able to think a lot clearer. Now I've just been looking for ways to rebuild myself, my confidence, some sort of guidance. I've also been meditating more. This will be an interesting journey of self healing and self discovery. This video definitely helps me with this journey! Thanks Stephanie! Peace and love
This was so good, everyone needs to hear this👍🙏
I have been watching Stephanie's videos for about 8 months. After all that time, my narcissist ex is finally out of my house and I am changing the locks. This is the first thing I watched after they drove off for good (lets hope). I am so excited to get life moving again. Thank you so much for all your advice and support Stephanie! I couldn't have gotten this far without you!
I have felt so much better listening to your videos. I was in a relationship for three and a half years. I really wanted our relationship to last forever. But he just didn’t give much to our relationship. Not knowing when I was seeing him. I think I must have seemed needy in the end. He just stopped calling me and haven’t seen or heard from in for months. I know l will have to give myself time to build self confidence and self loving myself. Then hopefully one day I will meet someone who will love me. xx
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Your videos are helping me so much! I am already in a better place mentally than I was a month ago from listening to your videos. Learning so much and becoming more self aware every day! Thank you! 💜
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thank you Stephanie! Your coaching videos are priceless. I'm trying to put one foot in front of the other.
during my marriage to a covert narcissist I developed a brain tumor. I went through surgery to have it removed and made it through but still having to cohabitate with the narc. I don't know how I've done it thusfar I only have small deficits from the tumor but depression have it's grip on me. I've isolated myself and let myself go.
I'm battling everyday to survive and I'm determined to find the new, improved and enlightened ME.
The one positive side to this is knowing how empty and miserable my ex narc is only makes me love and appreciate the person I am more.
Hello Stephanie! I enjoyed this message so much. I'm in the process of doing exactly this. Thank you.
Hi Stephanie,
Found your videos a few weeks ago. Today I'v been listening to a lot of them. Eye, mind and heartopening. Thank you for sharing, teaching and guiding.❤
This was awesome. You’re a very clear and selfless speaker… it’s quite moving. Very genuine in dishing out quality information to help intentional people. Thank you Stephanie ♥️
This is exactly what I needed to hear
Thanks, Stephanie, this is so beautiful. You're special. Thank you.
Super helpful video. I got dumped LAST July from a 5.5 year long relationship and am still struggling with it. He has moved on already which still hurts deep down regardless of me learning my self worth and I’m better off. It just hurts deep down and always makes me wonder why I wasn’t good enough
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I was briefly married to a young girl who turned out to be codependent on her narcissistic grandmother....my ex-wife left me after only 2 months of marriage.....I tried so very hard to convince her to come back, but it was no good....the only thing that would get her to do that was for me to allow her grandmother to come live with us and for me to give her grandmother all the narcissistic supply she needed, and I was not going to do that. After our divorce, I tailspun into a huge depression.....every single thing that had brought me joy in my life no longer did that for me. It affected my health, I gained weight, it affected my job performance, and I just cried all the time in private. I actually thought a few times about ending my life, I jsut didn't want to live anymore. I felt that I was doomed to live out the rest of my life alone, broken, and worthless. It took me nearly 5 years but I finally pulled myself out of it, and made up my mind to start living again. I should have been in therapy a lot sooner, maybe it would not have taken so long. I am actually in therapy now to deal with the residual feelings, most notably a feeling that I never got complete closure from my ex-wife. Finding oneself is the key to recovering from this.
nursesteve2004 - The no closure thing is the one thing to have us never happy to be able to move on and constantly torture us ☝🏼 The key to totally disregarding the need for any closure has to be the absolute realisation that these “people” (vampires) do not have not and cannot possess the ability to love - ie: they do not care ! Think about it if someone does not care (mind bending for an Empath to accept) then they will not be thinking about you in the same ways you’ll be thinking about them - they will not miss you - they will not ache in any way for you (except your money) so once you realise that the hope you have that they might just think or care for you is actually a complete false hope then it’s time to stop wasting your time hoping for some sort of closure that WILL NEVER COME.
Once you realise the closure thing is a complete waste of your time then it won’t matter any more. The fact you finally realised this person was completely incompatible for you is where the closure victory lives 🤓🙏🏼
well said .I need to invest in myself stop living for my spouse my grown kids .Thank you in tears love love the impact of your thoughts and ideas!! thank you so much Stephanie.
Im sitting here crying for the 1st time in months.
Yes, I've lost myself after 14 yrs of emotional (learning the man i loved never loved me back. He admitted it and admitted he cant see me the same now that i cant work and earn money because he imagined a better life. He grew up rich and for 7 yrs I would just hand over my paycheck. He loved that but i didnt know that was why he showed me love. I genuinely thought he loved me for me) abuse but through that time I was diagnosed with a very rare debilitating disease and now i live with pain, often sick, and I cant do the things that used to fulfill me. Trying to discover new things is so hard. Doesnt help that i have to wait another yr for the divorce to go through and he has blocked me access to money. :(
I don't know where to start
How are you doing now?
Hey don't give up. Try meditation and law of attraction. The power is within you, never forget it
Coming across your videos has helped me get through everything!! 💕
Almost 2 months since we broke up, just started paddle boarding and going partnered Country dancing again! 🏄♀️💃💜💜💜
Grieving for that part of myself I’ve lost in the process of loving someone.
Addiction destroyed me and my family and now that I am on the other side of it I don’t blame my wife for leaving after 32 years I’m alone and lost and feel the guilt and shame daily it’s torture. Being clean for several months I feel the pain in my heart and can’t believe I hurt everyone so horribly but it happened and I lost everything and everyone. Devastated. Have to learn to get my confidence back and self esteem back and dignity. But the hurt is overwhelming having to watch her eventually move on without me. So terrible it sent me to the hospital felt like my heart is breaking and beating out of my chest. Can’t stop thinking of her and her moving on it’s killing me.
this has really helped me through a rough night. You have all the right words. Thank you!!
Excellent video. So very true and informative.
First relationship I’ve ever had lasted 5 months. It doesn’t sound like much but I was a junior in Highschool, she abused me and made sure every second of every day was spent on her, she knows all about mentality and how to use people and destroy them when it’s over. I finally left her and she destroyed me and I’ve spent all my days just sleeping.
This is such a good and helpful video! I have never knew who i am but now after divorce it is even worse. I need to start living my own life and this video have given me directions. I can't thank you enough. Please do more videos on finding / returning to myself topic.
You are Awesome.💓💓💓 your Videos are So Very Helpful In so Many areas of My Life! I Appreciate your Life for the content you provide to this community!! I love the comments from others, lets me know I’m not alone or crazy in this life! Self Positive Love you are teaching me! Blessing to You🌈
Thank you, recently found your channel, very useful.
I'm so grateful for your kind and generous guidance.
I need to read more and try to attend workshop that helps. Because when we are caught up with the responsibilities of everyday life, it's crazy.
Love this video...i have no idea the things I used to love...im just blank and numb and I have no drive to even be around people...This was super helpful😗
Totally understand.
Your vedio helped me because I feel very sad and crying all time but I'll never let my self like that
Just can’t wait to jump in my car before and after work just to listen to your videos. They help me so much. Without them, I’m not sure where I’ll be today. I’m so grateful, thank you so much and to your parents for giving you life.
I have been there, 4 month ago, just after a breakup from a loong relationship... and here i am listening to this for the second time and so proud of myself, and my journey. It is a process, still going on. But i surely can see the change. Thank youuu for this video. 🙏🏽❤❤
how are u doing now? currently going through a hard breakup too :(
@@lightimagay00 I am sorry, I am doing fine know. Heal is a process
Its a long process but I am too starting to see hope of a new beginning after many months of hard time. I still have strong feeling for my EX bit coping better. Both the video and your comments people are helping. Thank you
Stephanie Lynn you're fantastic of what you're teaching I have gone through the divorce with a narcissistic person don't want them back know what to look for now after being around them for 7 years I'm happy I sleep better I'm calm I get to do what I want to do stop trying to do things to make them happy and never worked so I'm in a good place and I appreciate your help and all that you do your beautiful person inside and out and an intelligent on top of that thank you and I will continue to listen I've learned from you
I recommend these kinda videos if u feel down or bored or up up
Thank you. Good reminder.
When I wake up in the morning the first thing I like to do is watch your videos. Through my failed marriage that they cheated on me with and my 2nd failed looong relationship with a girl diagnosed with NPD who abandoned me with no contact or care. I would go AS FAR as to say that your videos have been one of the key factors that helped me stay afloat and not do anything I would regret heavily
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Such quality good content videos, Steph your a really superb life coach 🙏
I need to get my peace back, just went through 2 yrs of problems with my daughter, I have tell myself every 5 minutes..its Not my problem, I helped her the best I could ,
I’m depressed. I don’t love to do anything. Unless I’m with the narc. Sad but true.
Am feeling the same too.
It's like that, u end up basing your whole existence on catering to them, that when u are free, your not sure what to do, there's alot u can do, but nothing is urgent! Your not rushing around trying to please them!
😢 thats very true for me right now
Denise Fuentes loool that’s where I’m at right now
Me too! Sad but true! Its like, I let you suck the life out of me please just love me back
You are amaizing!
Thank you so much for all the videos and hard work you do !
Phwoar this is what I needed to hear. As everything just says love yourself. But you are telling me HOW to get their
Great video! Invest in yourself and have courage to live a happy life!
❤ thanks for these videos, you've given me hope 🙏
Thank you for posting this.
Thank you so much Stephanie....your videos have helped me so much...your so down to earth and comforting...you have so much wisdom...I appreciate you.
I loved this video ❤️ so inspiring. I’m definitely motivated to keep working on myself! Thank you Stephanie 🤍💫
I listen to all your videos to just get me through the moment. What happens if there is really nothing you like to do? What happens if you don’t have the time or money? I want to get through this and start feeling better.