We were not made for it... Our brain runs on pre historic software. Lonely = no tribe = die... It's a pandemic that is nit being taken seriously enough because the lonely ones blame themselves. Part of it is the individualistic culture that also puts so much responsibility on the individual. Even though most of people's success is actually due to luck and all the rest of society's support.
@@Alsatiagent well solitary confinement is a crime, torture and cruel as well as known to be involuntary often experimental. Goes along with white room.
Coming from a guy who's been lonely his entire, I can really feel your pain. For so long, I been trying real hard building connections at home, work and gym because I been feeling very lonely and anxious that it's killing me. I just wanted a partner who loves me for me and people who make me feel important. It's so hard to find company nowadays.
I can relate. Never having a close-knit and loving family right from the get-go, I mean like they say "Family is Forever"🥲While most people look forward to the holidays or whatever, I feel depressed instead.I was diagnosed with MDD, GAD and Inattentive ADHD 5 years ago. I'm 43 and my middle name is Void. I know it's not an Asian name, I'm Asian by the way 😂. It doesn't make much difference if I'm 13,23,33 53,63,73, 83, all I know is loneliness.
I’m struggling with a feeling of displacement. My husband passed two years ago, I’m 57 and had to move in with relatives across the country from Northern Nevada. I love Tennessee and I’m getting great medical care, but I’m homesick.
@@KateMarshall-ei3lf So sorry for your loss. I hope you find comfort living with relatives. Having no family close by is really hard if you are lonely and in mourning. Best wishes for a brighter future.
@@kelseymathias3881 Thank you so much. I love having my sister within reach, but she's gong to move to another state and I don't feel up to moving again. After my broken car is fixed, I'll find a church family.
Yes, to point it physically hurts some long, lonely nights. Does one exist when there is no one to witness them? Extreme loneliness opens the mind to deep philosophical questions, and a unique perception of our fellow humans living life. Not a good life but one does the best with what life unfolds before them.
Yea I feel like I'm in physical pain how much it hurts. Everything that I love doing feels like it doesn't matter and I feel like everything is crumbling.
The “hustling for my own worth” and “proving I’m worth showing up for” hit me harder than I’d thought it would. Loneliness and feeling disconnected almost feels like a pandemic now.
Same here, I started crying when I heard that. I’m feeling so lonely, and trying to find that balance of trying to make connections, but also working on really trying to find that sense of self-worth within me and not from external sources. Started therapy a couple of weeks ago and even though it’s painful to tackle these problems head-on I feel it will really help me reach that place.
This is exactly how I feel. The loneliness is a physical ache. I am searching for my identity, for friends, for someone to love and be loved. I am like many others who belong to a family unable or unwilling to express love. A childhood without love has left me with an emptiness that I have been unable to fill.
Yeah. I’m listening to this while I’m working from home at 11pm, because I had to take my husband for outpatient surgery this morning, so I couldn’t work earlier in the day.
I accepted I am not worth showing up for long ago. With acceptance comes healing. Today, I do not care that I am completely meaningless to absolutely everybody. There is no rule that states I must have importance to anybody. I am replaceable, expendable, and disposable. But, I know this and do not try to be a companion to anybody, nor seek companionship from anybody. Some of us just have no value to anybody but ourselves. We must stop deceiving ourselves, if we truly are worthless to all. Not all are meant to be socially accepted, be considered worthy companionship, nor even be regarded equals to those that thrive in a social herd. I am such said individual and have accepted this life role. I no longer even try to be social. It has little importance. There is no longer any desire for amicable or amorous connections. Attempts only yielded cruelty from others. Now, I have so much time to achieve so much, just by ending all attempts at being social.
I am totally isolated except for the 1 hour of therapy I have per week. I have work, but that actually makes me feel more alone as i interact with people on a superficial level that is not real. Then it is depressing to think I have to pay someone to talk to me one hour a week. Otherwise i would have nothing.
hey, I don't know you and you don't know me, so of course it's not like I will say something and expect you to trust me and believe me. But still, I am going to say it: very many people are just like you feeling very alone and having no one to talk to except their therapist. I think it may have to do with the changes in the world including the social platforms, they ways we communicate, the way we don't rely on others for survival etc. It feels sometimes like we are different species from our parents. No wonder we feel all alone in a crowded world. But. There is a solution! First off, everyone needs to realize that none of us needs a lot of friends. Just like with romantic relationships most people just need one person to call their own. Second, you've got to become a friend to yourself first before you can figure out who you want to hang out with and talk to. If you seek out challenge, you will seek out people with opposing views to connect with. But most people are drawn to like-minded people, so chances are once you know what you are, you will know who to reach out to. Best of luck and don't despair!
I'm just like you. I can feel what you feel. No friends, toxic family, my psychologist is the only person on Earth I interact with. My job doesn't count, just workmates, superficial yes. I share your pain as a lonely 40 yo man from France.
Yes, what works is to pay a therapist to talk to me as I am unable to establish and maintain relationships because I do not like most people and cannot relate to most people because I never learned to be social due to my innate personality combined with childhood abuse and/or neglect starting at a very early age. I have tried many, many times over my life, in different ways to be social, but nothing I have tried works. I just wind up alone and isolated and/or feeling alone and isolated. Therapy is helping me to be more functional in social situations, because I am practicing to be social in therapy, slowly over the last 3 years, which helps with my job and ability to be more employable, which is the most progress I have made in my entire life to be more normal, socially, so at least I have that going for me.
I think the pandemic pretty much destroyed any notion of stability that most of us had and exposed just how chaotic the world really is. We're all struggling to connect and find meaning because none of us are the same people that we were just a few years ago. Everyone's slate was wiped clean and we have to start over but none of us know where to begin.
yeah I can't even listen to the video right now. I'm completely hopeless at the moment. I pushed away most people who cared about me one way or another. This weekend it was the last male friend I had, as he was a bad person and brought me nothing but anxiety anymore. My native country (Portugal) succumbs to economic crisis and is now worse than some easter european countries. Living here is almost illogical by this point, and my i feel like I am force to go out of it. Plus all the Capitalism still funneling money to the top makes working feel pointless. My traumas are pushing off potential partners. My lack of confidence is disabling me from even trying to find one. The prevalence of promiscuity and adultery makes it all seem pointless. Economic crisis and climate change makes it seem illogical to have children, so I am also unwilling to commit to some random partner for the sake of children. I am at the depths of despair.
@@pedroclaro7822I don't think you're wrong. Pregnant rabbits, when stressed, can reabsorb their fetuses. The world is collapsing. And the thing the media doesn't talk about is how utterly fragile. The supply chain is. Confidence in Wall Street too. People don't realize the food supply could totally fracture, and half the country could starve to death in 3 months. I basically feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Capitalism can't provide journalism, which is why we don't have journalism. We have entertainment, corporations, masquerading as news organizations. And nobody is providing any fixes.
Pedro, I get it. I had to leave Portugal. Part of the loneliness is feeling a complete detachment from Portugal. I love where I live now and yet I don't belong. I feel at home but I'll never be from here, if that makes sense. Still so much to figure out and maybe will never be able to. I hope you find answers.
Loneliness is seemingly my life now. I feel the start of social media and cell phones and online dating really messed us humans up as far as connection. It sucks and I’m tired of hearing the same solutions when they don’t work because most people are so consumed in their bubble.
Yet for some, social media, phones and online dating has helped them connect ..... I also find many people are consumed in their own bubble, particularly their family bubble. I'm feeling more lonely the older I get as people are holding on to their own very close people even tighter and excluding others ...... It is so sad. I absolutely relate to your comment "loneliness is seemingly my life now"; something I need to get used to
I spend 90 percent of my time alone and most of the time i am content that way because i have anxiety and i am comfortable with just "me". Lately, i have wanted so much to be able to talk to someone but i have isolated myself for so long that i dont even know anyone anymore. Its not like i can walk up to a stranger and just say " would you please listen to me?". I can relate to your "people pleasing" ways of wanting to...solve the problems of others because the times that i DO talk to a friend (which i have about 3)...i end up delving into their problems or thoughts and just trying to offer good advice abd showing that i care..or just listening to them. One of my friends passed away this week and it hit me pretty hard because she was one who had a lot of depression and was very unhappy with her life...and the majority of the time i spent talking to her was reassuring her, speaking positivity, trying to help her sorf through her feelings. ..now she is gone .and it was like putting a mirror in front of my face.. will that be me too? Will i leave this world lonely ...feeling invisible? I have cried all day and i actually googled " help me i am lonely" and found this video. Lol .kinda crazy eh? I want to thank you for sharing all you said...it helped me to not feel so alone. God bless you
I’m a therapist and wish I could be more open, authentic and vulnerable with people. I’ve spent my entire life hiding behind a facade. Thank you for showing your vulnerability Kati, you will have helped a huge number of people including me by doing this ❤
Be true to yourself. There is little value in a relationship where you cannot comfortably be yourself. The trick, i think, is to know that when you are your true self, the right people will gravitate toward you, and the wrong ones will fall away. So be authentic and be vulnerable, and the ones who matter won't mind, and the ones who mind won't matter. If they don't like you for you, then why would you want them around anyway?
Therapist is not the same as psychologist. Therapists are like counselors, and not necessarily trained in complex trauma. i've broken therapists! @@MC-fw5vt
It is a hard feeling for sure… Covid made every one realize that no thing can be taken for granted, and that you are going to be a lone one day, so yes it did shook us to make us looks deep inside and figure out who we are and what we want… so we are all going through this quest… thanks for sharing ..
This hits so hard. I feel worthless to the point I don't even try to prove myself. For the past two days I've been feeling really really really worthless because I don't have anything, I haven't built anything. I feel this loneliness since I was a kid and spent my life trying to feel worthy of affection with no success.
I don't know if you believe this, but please try meditation. Meditation will make you feel a lot better and remove these lonely feelings. If you've never meditated before, please start with auditory meditation (where you hear something through headphones-like guided meditation or beej mantras of each chakra). Or transcendental meditation where you say something(like positive affirmation, beej mantras, or any mantra). It's been proven meditation can change brain structures in just 6 weeks by brain scanning. Start your morning by 1 hr daily meditation, you'll be a new person in no time😊😊 To start with- th-cam.com/video/tiLNJPjFhz4/w-d-xo.htmlsi=D8oMPwVWgYcacj8Y Hear this in your headphones.
Boom! Boy did this hit home! Girl, I cried with you. Some due to empathy but a lot due to feeling like you were my mirror. Your break through really resonated with me.....proving my worth...whoa, that was heavy....and true. Thank you for being so brave and sharing the way you did.
You have absolutely described my life. I don't know if it is fixable, honestly, but what you have put out here over the years has been so helpful. It helps me know that I can't be as screwed up as I think I am. We have global PTSD. We are so disoriented and dysregulated. Thank you for your authenticity. It gave me the courage today..
As a people pleaser, I totally understand. One thing I have learned through my 67 years is no matter how much or many times you please/do something for someone else, they will use you and forget you. If you ask for the slightest help from them, they totally ignore you then quickly turn around and "Totally Expect" you to do whatever. If you refuse or can't, they cut you out completely and spread ugly rumors about you. Not just once, but every time! ... until they need you again!
I read somewhere people only appreciate your help if they have to pay for it, or have to do something to get it. I'm a people pleaser too, and I've had to learn to treat people exactly how they treat me.
@@lcampbell9837 I just can't treat people like they treat me. I couldn't live with myself. It would only cause ME more stress. I've just learned to not ask anyone for anything. Not even a ride for groceries.
Do you think it is professional? If I would have a therapist who would cry during a session I would go to another one. I would be there to cool my own feelings not hers or his.
I can't imagine how hard it was to press "upload" on this. Kati is a hero for sacrificing her privacy for the good of all of us. Thank you Kati. I appreciate you.
This is what social media should be used for - people sharing their humanity and struggles and supporting each other in this shared human experience. To know that you're not alone, we ALL feel pain and disconnection.
As an aspiring therapist it's really powerful to see a professional being raw and honest and sharing a difficult part of the process of working on ourselves. Thank you
We came for the psychology knowledge, but we stayed for your kindness, personality and insight. You don't need to prove yourself on this channel ❤️ (edit: not that this is the root of the problem, but just so you know)
exactly, @Katimorton we all love you for you, you are enough, you are worthy ❤ actually I think you are awesome human beign ❤ sending you, Kati, and all of you loooots of love 🙋🏻♀️🥰
@@Katimorton I've learned the hard way to stop caring what people think of you. Your first to be pleased of yourself. You know who you are and stop validating yourself to others. You really need to ignore what people think, you can't change insecure people. No matter how much you try. You will feel better once you let go. You can't make everyone like you. Lots of insecure people are miserable and supper jealous of you so they want to crab you to pull you down so you don't to better. Like me at my workplace mobbing, gaslighting me for over 12 years. I'm not a quitting for these lazy insecure bums. Bullies are nothing but a bunce of lazy cowards with no life.
I wonder why because I do too… if there are so many ppl lovely why can’t get match up pair up to be there for each other! I wonder this at all times like a lonely community to tap in when love is needed 😊
I cried with Katie we are all in a transition period and the struggle is real. Thanks Katie for sharing this vulnerable moment with us I felt supported and at least I know I’m not alone 🩷✨
@@DonnaChamberson I believe that is a collective feeling a lot of people are feeling lost lately, and the change in season also brings change on us and it can be emotionally difficult.
I'm less-abled, lost my job and the ability to work 10 years ago. At my last job, the last time I was among people, I was bullied which made me mistrust every one, so I feel lonely very often. I'm grateful to have many cats (and dogs) in my life. If I feel that dark loneliness coming up, I go out and feed & take care of stray cats ... and I feel connected to these souls who are out there on their own trying to survive out on the streets. If I can make them purr ... then I'm happy and I feel like I have a purpose. I hope everyone finds that purpose and that love through kindness. I also hope to find like-minded humans to connect with ❤
I also feed homeless beings including cats, dogs and birds. I live on the other side of the world, but we have this in common. You see, there are more people who think like you. It may be that they are difficult to notice 😊❤🙏
I also feel so good when a pet or a stray comes up to me ... I feel worthy of existing... Otherwise everything feels just bland boring and superficial. No matter how hard I try to connect with a human, it's almost impossible to want the same from each other and then be disappointed
I feed stray cats too and was just tattled on by the neighbors. My landlord put a note on my door telling me not to feed cats. People have no compassion. It makes me sad. The cats aren't hurting anyone. I feed them at night. Let them eat. Also give them treats and water and remove the bowls after they eat. It's very discouraging that people tell on me.
I've always felt alone. I felt alone growing up with good parents and a decent brother or in a crowded room. I always felt different than my family and I always felt misunderstood.
Same but I started to notice the difference of my life and my family's life, the difference is that they had their friends and are social but I'm very introverted and I need to be a little more social if I want to enjoy things in life. Its been difficult for me going to therapy rn for stuff but its really been helping!
I had to laugh when you said “I don’t want to take up anymore of your time.“ That’s exactly what you were talking about. You are worth our time. You don’t have to stand on your head to be worth our time or anyone’s else time. ❤
At 54 years of age, I am not strong in who I am. I am so lonely, it’s sometimes unbearable. I have been afraid of being alone my entire life and I feel completely alone. I can relate to you completely with the control issues and people pleasing. It is making sense to me now. I’m afraid of rejection.
Love yourself and be your own best friend! We are star dust we are the universe experiencing itself. Divine love is what you will find when you open your heart and start a higher vibration!!! Choose love over fear ♥️♥️♥️💪
I am 29 and I feel very lonely. I have no friends , no gf and more, no one to hang out with, no where to really go. Co-workers hanging out and never inviting me. It hurts a lot to feel alone and unwanted. It gets very boring.
Thank you for being vulnerable. This is so incredibly relatable especially right now. It’s like the fall hit and everyone I know stumbled back a couple of steps. Every single woman in my trauma support group expressed this very same thing 3 nights ago. The whole world feels chaotic right now. ❤
Kati, you are SO brave and words cannot describe how much of an impact you make! I cried along with you (I’m a ‘crier’, and a hugger, too) bc this hits the core of me! I am tremendously GRATEFUL for who you are and what you’re doing on here! 😌
Addicted to accomplishments? Proving your worth? That was me in my 20s and 30s. All the way to the top. Because that's what my culture told me to do. In my 40s, I realized it's all a fiction. Now I'm 54 and I am enough; I was all along. And the letters by my name mean nothing. My diplomas and professional licenses, trashed long ago. Now, I just want to be happy. I just want a tribe. Loneliness, I'm so done with you.
Yeah, I want to belong somewhere, too. I am at the point where I have accepted I am all I have and ever will. It isn't completely healing, but it does somehow make me enjoy my life a little more. I am realizing I have to put me first and stop waiting for others to need me. I have been working on that and gradually it is slowly helping. It will never be solved, only accepted as reality and I have to find the inner strength to cope. No one else can do it for me. It is the human dilemma. I hope you find you.
Be very proud of yourself you did a very brave thing being open and honest. Your words are deeply appreciated it makes a lot of people feel like they are not alone in their feelings of loneliness.
A decade ago i began studying narcissism, and it has helped me understand my anger. Recently, i became aware of Childhood Emotional Neglect, and it has helped me understand my sadness. i've been feeling most everything you described as of late more so than i have in a while. i've been disgusted with the relapse, and it has been so draining, but i think the information regarding CEN has provided new prospective, and despite the fatigue, i feel lighter in a way, and i think the process has been healing. Incidentally, yesterday i sent my mother info on CEN, in the hopes of creating a bridge to understanding. The initial response was what i expected, but after a few added thoughts and testaments to my issues, she responded by saying "Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me. I love you", and it was the first time in my 45 years i remember not feeling unsafe confiding and sharing with her. i was proud of my mother rather than hurt and confused, and it was a nice feeling.
I grew up literally alone. My parents were working 24/7 and when mom had her day off, she slept until late so I got up in the morning and made my own milk at the age of 6. My parents started leaving me alone at home at the age of 11 so I started cleaning the house and cooking for myself and eating at an empty table the entire day after school. I didn’t have many friends I stayed home a lot with my video games and sketches to keep me company. I learnt being on my own and I noticed I have trust issues, I don’t like nor let people to come close to me because I feel like I won’t be enough for them and they will let me, so I’m staying alone. Loneliness is one of the worst feelings you can experience.
read Ramana Maharishi's book "who am I"? there is a witness in us you want to call it god or self is your choice but witnessing our thoughts, emotions, feelings, our body etc... so we are never alone. if we can notice our feelings changing, our thoughts changing, who is that witness or self in us?
I know no one will see this, but I'll type it anyway: the last song John Lennon ever wrote was called "Dear John"- a note to himself. His final words, if I recall them correctly, were: "The race is over...you've won." He was telling himself it was o.k. That song would be my message to Kati Morton. There are still always problems and dangers ahead- John Lennon never got to finish that song- and I know a few lyrics won't fix everything, but remember that you're in the winner's circle, covered with flowers. Hear the applause sometimes, and know how special and how adored you are. Warmest regards to you from one of the millions you've helped.
This couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. I have struggled with loneliness most of my life. But after losing my dad a few months ago, it has become next level. It is definitely a time of transition and “crisis of identity” describes it really well. I always thought that in my 40’s I would have this all figured out, but I find I’m more disconnected with myself than ever. Thank you for being vulnerable, honest and real. It lets the collective “us” understand that we’re not alone.
I moved from Sacramento, California to South Bend, Indiana. The first two and a half years has been SO hard because EVERYTHING I knew was gone or changed. I am just starting to gain my new community after dealing with lonliness and identity loss for two years. We base our identity on who and what we have around us and not internally. My faith has returned and that has helped me reconnect to my identity. It's not been perfect but it's been worthwhile. You are going through what you are going through to help others get through theirs. So much love to you! - Rebecca
I’m a psychology student and when something does happen in my life I do get emotional and I wonder damn how I’m I suppose to help people when I’m so vulnerable , but you have shown me that it’s only human to be vulnerable and that’s our speciality to empathise and feel other humans. Thanks for sharing your deepest vulnerabilities with us Kati!
I can so relate to you Kati... I wish we lived closer to one another, because you are the kind of person I would LOVE to have as a friend. You're so real and honest, and I respect the heck out of that and YOU!!!!
Yes, this. I narrowed the circle of people I rely on a few years ago and try not to be too much or too needy but lately they have other things to deal with or I have asked too many times, I guess. I feel like I am tiresome to them. It's not a patch on how tiresome I am to myself.
Thanks for your honesty. Mothers day was the worst day this year. Mom passed last year and even tho I am blessed with 4 kids and a dozen grandkids, crying pops up with memories. My son wanted to take me to lunch but I said I would not be good company, that was terrible of me. Cannot change anything, just hope he knows Moms a little fuc---- up. Realizing this its a step in changing myself to be loving, at peace and to send love and joy to all, not to get angry but forgive those who have hurt. That's all. God Bless all who go thru these things and know there is a source more powerful than anything else that we just have to give it up to Him.
This video really hit home. Thank you so much for being here for your community and being so vulnerable with us. You don't have to do that at all. You are very much loved by your community.
Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻❤️ It‘s the „Trying to prove that I‘m worth showing up for“ and especially „prove that I‘m important enough“ that hit me so much 😢 I feel this soo badly.
I feel like i deeply resonate and relate to the pain you feel, especially when you talked about the connection between control and self-worth. I realized I do the same things for pretty much the same reasons. That realization, I feel, can help me grow to overcome that short coming. Thank you for sharing this.
In my small opinion, this video is pure confirmation that your purpose in life has been fulfilled. Your heart is raw, your honesty is refreshing and the commonality we all feel with you is invaluable. To see you going through the emotions we are all going through is a moment of beautiful connection and I am so grateful. Please don't stop.
This is so true & real. I’ve been trying to “earn” my worth for years & am just now attempting to deconstruct unhealthy thinking patterns through therapy. Thank you for your vulnerability & courage. ❤
I can’t tell you how much this resonates. Thank you for your advice, work, and perhaps most profound is the bravery it took to put this out while you’re still working on it yourself. This feels more real and we get a glimpse of what someone else thinks/feels while working through these challenges. I can’t thank you enough for showing up for me and everyone else. I hope this comment in a weird internet way reciprocates that for you, even if it’s a small token of gratitude via a comment from a stranger.
I've been setting some pretty firm boundaries because I'm tired of being treated bad and getting used by others. Especially family. My birthday was two days ago and no one wished me happy birthday. It made me realize how alone I am.
I'm sorry friend. Happy belated birthday. Also you aren't the only person feeling alone. I guess we just have to make the best of things and make our life exciting
Dear Kati, I am so glad I found this video and am so grateful for you vulnerability, tears, and brutal honesty. I have often felt like I have needed to hustle for my worth, and like I needed to have it all together so people wouldn't know that I was broken. A big part of my healing journey was Brene Brown's work about healing from shame, in the Gifts of Imperfection, and how she shares that the way through shame and feeling unworthy is by having the courage to be vulnerable and share like you did, because keeping our shame and feelings of unworthiness quiet in the dark only broods more shame. You helped so many people to heal with this video, because you showed us that we are not alone in these feelings, we're not freaks of nature for feeing this way, we're in it together in this human tribe. Sending you so much love and healing. You lightened my heart so much hearing your voice and seeing you work through this! I agree with you that we are going through a period of transition where we will be able to hold so much more love and joy, and of so much more interconnectedness, which you modeled by having the courage to share this video...but first we have to alchemize the heavier energies of grief and the pain of feeling unworthy of even being here. Thanks for showing us how.
I hope you're able to read this, I have been through quite alot of things you're feeling. You save peoples lifes, you gave me hope for my life. I know this comment isn't going to neccisary help everthing, I hope you know that many people will save you as well, it's hard, but you have given us so much love. Your're important. You can give yourself time, your're allowed to prioritize some time for yourself. Remind yourself of how far you've came, you're an amazing woman.
This is so simple, yet so powerful. Just a human being in her authenticity, struggling with life's challenges, no "disorder", just the intensity of trying to find meaning. I've watched a lot of your videos, but i never felt so connected with you. This one left a mark.
This made me feel less alone, thank you so much for sharing ! I'm a 23yo boy from the other half of the world, and I've been feeling kind of similar to what you've decribed, these past few years have been hard, especially with covid, I've been struggling with my identity it caused me to isolate myself from the people I love the most, but I'm slowly getting out of it, I've been focusing on my art more and my studies, and hopefully will reach out to my friends soon I miss them so much I didn't mean to push them away... but anyways I stumbled upon your video by chance and just you expressing yourself helped me feel so much better, knowing that I'm not going throught it alone, is somehow comforting thank you once again you got yourself a new subscriber
Today I came to the conclusion that I need more internal reflection and realize it is another time to evolve. I’ve also been changing my content and slimming down on a lot of platforms. I too have felt extremely lonely lately, these last several months actually. Dealing with abandonment issues, dealing with content creation and my personal life. What’s come up for me is “let go” “let go” and it can be extremely difficult. Just finished journaling this evening and your video popped up. Happy I’m not alone in feeling this way. Spoke to a friend today and had immense empathy towards her struggles and it was nice to know I’m not alone. 🤗 🤗 Thank you for being so vulnerable.
It’s really hard to see you in such a fragile state. I’m struggling with a lot of what you mentioned and have for most of my life. I feel so lonely, isolated, unwanted, and unworthy of someone who truly cares for me it hurts, deeply. I’m sorry to hear about your struggles, but it also helps me understand that my own feelings and struggles are valid - I guess I don’t feel so alone to hear similar stories.
The idea that grief needs a witness has come to me. I would like-- even feel desperate - to have people in my group to hear me out! To open up with them and just share my grief!
The collective is going through a deep spiritual awakening. A dark night of the soul is not easy for anyone to go through especially if you don't know that that is what is happening. Everyone is being faced with truths that many not be ready to face. But it is necessary for us to do the deeper shadow work. What you are going through can be extremely difficult and painful but it is necessary. You will get through it and come out an even more amazing and beautiful person and woman. This will prepare you to help others on a whole other level. Do not forget you are loved and appreciated by so many.💗🕊🙏
So glad to see someone mention this! Covid (plus other things coming to light, like the climate crisis) has thrown everyone into a dnots! Ego-death! A spiritual awakening! Mine started a few years earlier, for personal reasons (and is ongoing), so it’s interesting seeing others going through it now….. and how some people are reacting to it.
@@Mistical1982 There isn't just one dark night of the soul. Someone can have multiple it all really depends on the person and their journey. Our collective consciousness is rising and everything within society that has been hidden in the darkness and in our shadow is being exposed and we can no longer live out of alignment with the Divine. Our global society is extremely dysfunctional and the truth about what goes on in the world can't be hidden anymore. So, everyone needing to really look deep within and see our wounds that we are projecting onto society and why we allow evil things to happen. I've been on this journey for a very long time and it is not easy. The more one gets in alignment with the Divine the more you see how society can not go on the way it has and that starts with us. How have we been functioning within our dysfunction so we can fit into a toxic society. It's exactly hard and it gets worse before it gets better. We all need to help and support each other when we can. We are all going through it and soon more people will be awakening. There are levels to it. We will all get through it. 💗🙏🕊
Thank you for sharing your insight and showing your vulnerability. I’m obviously feeling lonely which caused me to stumble across your channel. I’ll keep watching! Air hugs
So relatable. I started seeing a new therapist and she’s already taken me miles beyond past therapists. We touched on loneliness last week and I started crying super hard. We are all going through similar things and we don’t even realize it.
It is so refreshing to hear this personal struggle from someone who is actually a therapist. I think we often feel like you professionals have all figured out. The story that you shared has touched so many souls here seeking for help. Not feeling worthy even to your own self is a real one, a strong one.. It sticks with you 24/7, stealing from your sleep, your current moments, your desired perspective on life. No wonder many of us are feeling that we're "missing out" on milion things..no wonder we give power to others to hold our value.. That truly feels like checkmate position, when we realize how many things are actually connected...it is overwhelming. ❤
I worked for the state of Vermont from 2020- 2023, taking calls from all Vermonters to provide support surrounding COVID-19. For three years I did this and without insurance, I paid out of pocket for mental health help and got on an SNRI, trying to be well to help others. I blurted out in a team meeting that I wanted to kill myself and was fired 24 hours later via email. I was, for obvious reasons devastated and lost, I almost immediately recognized that most folks I talked with about COVID-19 were experiencing that same connection to the "collect self-betterment" that seems to be happening even now in 2023, I am still connecting old realizations to current ones and fully understanding myself and growing past debilitating traumas that seemed insurmountable. I hope this continues for everyone, growth is painful, but not as painful as people pleasing and being utilized and forgotten.
I’m so sorry that they fired you. Most employers are terrified of real mental health issues my guess is because they are terrified of their own mental health cobwebs. The right step would have been to help you take care of yourself and more than anything to treat you like it was okay to share.
I feel sad that your had a reaching out moment that was invalidated and used as a weapon against you. The reason behind civility and why it is being eroded is a saddening result of living in this world. I find the most lovely and most deserving people get overlooked. I read a saying once’ the real get judge and the fake get popular’ . Speaks millions to me.
As a fellower Vermonter, you deserve both an apology, sincere thanks and probably also restitution. Vermont did an amazing job protecting folks during covid and you were clearly a hero in that scenario. Please take this sincere gratitude to heart. And don't worry. I know of a lot of Vermont social workers who want to kill themselves, but keep it to themselves. I'd be willing to bet at least 1 in 3 feels that way. Capitalism creates toxic work and workplaces. It's not you. Power on, girl!
Everyone and everything says “if you’re feeling bad (like wanting to kill yourself) talk to someone” well no one wants to listen and god forbid you make someone feel uncomfortable. At a super stressful time in my life recently I said the same thing to someone who I thought knew me well enough to see how “crazed” I was because of the situation since she knew about all of it (was given 30-day notice to move out of rental house - if I had the ability to move I would gave done it years ago because of the crappy landlords’ house being across the patio from mine. So I’ve been homeless since Mother’s Day, left job I had that provided $ for rent because of many things caused by being kicked out of home, getting 2-4 hours sleep every night for at least 6 months trying to keep all the balls in the air, and more) and everyone then treated me like I was behind crazy. Let me see how they would be in the same situation. And I didn’t even list all that was going on. So I guess this weeds out the people who are not who we should be around. Idk. The people who need some kind of therapy a lot of times (like me) don’t have the money to live let alone pay for therapy. And I’m my opinion if there is free therapy somewhere they are probably dealing with I hate to say it lower issues like drug stuff, etc. Some regular, middle-class people who’s normal isn’t “street stuff” need help from people who have dealt with I don’t know how to out it
I hope you’re ok, and taking good care of yourself. That was brutal, the way you was fired. This world can be very cruel, and has become more usering - they used you for everything you had and then discarded you. I’m a therapist like Katie, and don’t you ever give everything again. Build yourself back up, and help people if you can, but always keep some back for you. Whatever difficulty or trauma you’re trying to deal with in life, yours or others, you need to balance with finding the beauty. Whether that is people, nature or art, you need the beauty of life to counter the cruelty. For now, just concentrate on your own needs and on getting better.
This hit home. I've been a walking crisis for a few years now, trying to resolve it with my therapist too, though it's a long road ahead. I am grateful you are sharing your real feelings and thoughts about these rough patches, it is actually motivating to be more authentic myself (which is what I struggle with the most, lacking courage).
Kati you are literally setting us free, seeing a therapist open up and cry is what we all need in order to step into therapy and a mental health journey. Love ❤
"Hustling to prove I'm worth showing up for". 100%!!! I'm 35 and grew up with a mother who was very much emotionally neglectful, but if I excelled in something (landing a role in the school musical; dance team; etc), that would be the only time I would hear her talk about - brag about me - to others. But she would never tell me to my face that I was awesome or that she was proud of me. So, I just hustled and hustled and stayed busy and excelled. Until I burned out January 2022. I quit my job and went full-time with my photography business, but really I just needed time to breathe. My parents are both against my political views, which was extremely difficult and isolating during the pandemic. I left Christianity, which is my family's entire life's purpose; I'm basically one massive disappointment. So, I too am going through a lot of changes in my life. I'm kind of in a "fuck it, they don't like me anyways, I'll just do what I want and what makes me happy" phase - but it's still super isolating. Thank you SO MUCH for your videos and for sharing so openly. Believe me - WE ALL NEED IT. You give me strength during this difficult time. Never stop being you, Kati ❤
It's really messed up to be dependend on a parent who can't appreciate you and doesn't see you as a person who needs and deserves love and respect, but only treats you like you're a puppet for agendas. Unfortunately I can relate, I messes with your self-worth. I wish you good luck with your healing and all the blessings you can receive. :)
Oh, i relate to your comment here so much! I come.from a Christian background, too, which i have left. And a dysfunctional family....so heartening to hear other voice with similar experiences. We're not really alone, then ❤️🌿
This post was so so important…relating so much. Hustling for my worth all my life. Realizing trying to control everything and trying to manage people’s feelings…this explains it. Ugh. I’m crying along with you. Thank you for sharing.
i’ve been recovering from a trauma bond and i can’t tell you how lonely it’s been. it’s excruciating… i really want to thank you for this video and sharing your experience because it’s truly been helpful ♥️
THANK YOU for the vulnerability ❤ I Definitely feel alone and glad that even a therapist has these times 😢 I love your content even more because you are real! Keep being a real human for us ❤
I don’t think we’ve processed the strangeness of the pandemic fully and the effects that being so isolated and so fearful has had on us, as well as a pressure at the same time to keep ourselves together. Your line about shedding a skin I think is apt. We are doing that right now, and it’s messy and painful, and that’s probably okay and normal. We need to normalize the messiness. Thank you for sharing with us and being so vulnerable. Your content has always given a lot to me and I’ve felt very seen by it.
I performed, taught classes and maintained a small semblance of having an idyllic reality during the pandemic and feel this 1000%. I think just 2023 proved this to be true how many people bypassed feelings and are still processing them
I also had insane panic attacks, financial instability, and fear of my immunocompromised loved ones dying...among other things. It has been a shit show for pretty much everyone
😢 I feel lonely. I feel stuck. At times I don't really know how I feel. Katie I do know that you are very helpful to me. When Im scrolling along and I see you in my subscription I feel thankful I found you. Thank you for your vulnerability. You go girl! ❤❤❤❤
Same here. I became a widow and single mother at the age of 33. Ten years later, I’m still alone. The day I lost my husband was the day I feel like I died with him. I’m physically here, but I’m just a shell of who I was when he was here. I feel like my husband was the only person I ever had that truly loved me.
@@venessatalbert9232 I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.,…
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.,:.
Honestly . . . . that has been my entire existence thus far. ‘Hustling for my worth’ is the exact phrasing I’ve been feeling, just never knew how to word it and I greatly appreciate you for coining it. Thank you
Omg! This spoke to my soul! I have been feeling this lately more than I ever have. I have been extremely sad. Feeling like I have no one to discuss this with. I thought something was wrong with me. Thank you so much for letting us in to your world ❤
It's strange right?!?! Like we are all going through this weird stage right now.. I hope know you're not alone with it.xoxo And I have to believe we will move through it. xoxo
My husband and I just moved and I’m so lonely and feel lost and unsettled. I miss my old life. I was just thinking how much 2020 messed me up. I tried to follow my dreams and it didn’t work out. Now I am more isolated and lost than ever.
You were a huge inspiration for me to become a therapist because your videos helped me a lot and then you broke down what the process could look like. I’m really impressed with you showing vulnerability. It makes me feel more connected to your message and your work.
1.29 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS; of course you're worthy of attention. But you know that. It's always the hurt child inside us, and you kick butt by being open about it. We're all on your side, too, for what it's worth.
Thank you for your transparency! Seeing a therapist who also has a therapist is always comforting to me as a counselor who is not currently practicing but still sees a therapist for ME. You are definitely NOT ALONE in the things you shared on this video 💚
Thank you for being so raw and real and vulnerable about your experience. Loneliness for me partially comes from having chronic illness. It causes frequent intense fatigue, and brain fog and nerve pain. And the frequency of it all just makes me want to hide from everyone, to isolate so that I'm not a burden to anyone with what I suffer with. Because I'll want to share what I go through. And then people just feel sad for me. And I hate that it brings down the mood. But it's my life and what I go through. And I need people who can be that ear and shoulder to cry on. When you said "shedding our skin" that really struck me. I"m definitely shedding what was a very heavy layer. I just went through a major breakup where I finally realized just how DONE I am with getting sucked into toxic relationships with narcissistic men. I just moved, and I feel so completely dazed and frozen with depression and overwhelm. I'm happy to finally be free of that horrible relationship. But I also feel lost, let go of, and detached and unanchored to any strong supportive relationship. I have my therapist, and the occasional friend who will listen to me vent. But it's HARD. It's so hard. Life is just freaking hard sometimes. And it really does seem to be happening to everyone all at once. Sending you so much love and hugs. You're brilliant and insightful and wonderful. You have a such a big heart. You clearly care SO MUCH. I relate to that, intensely caring a to a fault, hyper-diligence, and desperation to deeply connect with anyone who is open and willing for that connection. I hope you're doing so much better now, and that you 're feeling more balanced and whole-hearted
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Lonliness is one of the most painful feelings, and it is truly disorienting.
And it intensifies when you're going thru a breakup. GOD HELP US ALL
Change your perspective
We were not made for it... Our brain runs on pre historic software. Lonely = no tribe = die... It's a pandemic that is nit being taken seriously enough because the lonely ones blame themselves. Part of it is the individualistic culture that also puts so much responsibility on the individual. Even though most of people's success is actually due to luck and all the rest of society's support.
Yes. People should never wonder why long term solitary confinement (not nearly the same, in degree,I know) is considered inhumane.
@@Alsatiagent well solitary confinement is a crime, torture and cruel as well as known to be involuntary often experimental. Goes along with white room.
Coming from a guy who's been lonely his entire, I can really feel your pain. For so long, I been trying real hard building connections at home, work and gym because I been feeling very lonely and anxious that it's killing me. I just wanted a partner who loves me for me and people who make me feel important. It's so hard to find company nowadays.
I can relate. Never having a close-knit and loving family right from the get-go, I mean like they say "Family is Forever"🥲While most people look forward to the holidays or whatever, I feel depressed instead.I was diagnosed with MDD, GAD and Inattentive ADHD 5 years ago. I'm 43 and my middle name is Void. I know it's not an Asian name, I'm Asian by the way 😂. It doesn't make much difference if I'm 13,23,33 53,63,73, 83, all I know is loneliness.
@@mizlialia1476 ha ha okay and yeah. I'm 27 and I totally understand.
@@kenrickbautista6141 I wish you love, happiness and contentment in life😄
@@mizlialia1476❤
I am so sorry you're going through this too :( It's so exhausting you know? xoxo
anyone feeling so lonely it hurts?
I’m struggling with a feeling of displacement. My husband passed two years ago, I’m 57 and had to move in with relatives across the country from Northern Nevada. I love Tennessee and I’m getting great medical care, but I’m homesick.
@@KateMarshall-ei3lf So sorry for your loss. I hope you find comfort living with relatives. Having no family close by is really hard if you are lonely and in mourning. Best wishes for a brighter future.
@@kelseymathias3881 Thank you so much. I love having my sister within reach, but she's gong to move to another state and I don't feel up to moving again. After my broken car is fixed, I'll find a church family.
Yes, to point it physically hurts some long, lonely nights. Does one exist when there is no one to witness them? Extreme loneliness opens the mind to deep philosophical questions, and a unique perception of our fellow humans living life. Not a good life but one does the best with what life unfolds before them.
Yea I feel like I'm in physical pain how much it hurts. Everything that I love doing feels like it doesn't matter and I feel like everything is crumbling.
The “hustling for my own worth” and “proving I’m worth showing up for” hit me harder than I’d thought it would. Loneliness and feeling disconnected almost feels like a pandemic now.
"Worthiness isn't hustled, it's innate; a sense of belonging starts within."
Thought it was just me.
oof same
💯
Same here, I started crying when I heard that. I’m feeling so lonely, and trying to find that balance of trying to make connections, but also working on really trying to find that sense of self-worth within me and not from external sources. Started therapy a couple of weeks ago and even though it’s painful to tackle these problems head-on I feel it will really help me reach that place.
This is exactly how I feel. The loneliness is a physical ache. I am searching for my identity, for friends, for someone to love and be loved. I am like many others who belong to a family unable or unwilling to express love. A childhood without love has left me with an emptiness that I have been unable to fill.
I hear you so much 🥺 Sending you love and a huge warm hug
Me too
I relate so much❤
Sending warm hugs.Someday we all will be overcoming these feelings 🥺
I felt the "trying to prove that I'm worth showing up for" so deeply.
We have to stop it.
That statement nailed it to me. I feel the same way. Always feel I care more about them then they care about me
Yeah. I’m listening to this while I’m working from home at 11pm, because I had to take my husband for outpatient surgery this morning, so I couldn’t work earlier in the day.
Amen.
I accepted I am not worth showing up for long ago. With acceptance comes healing. Today, I do not care that I am completely meaningless to absolutely everybody. There is no rule that states I must have importance to anybody. I am replaceable, expendable, and disposable. But, I know this and do not try to be a companion to anybody, nor seek companionship from anybody. Some of us just have no value to anybody but ourselves. We must stop deceiving ourselves, if we truly are worthless to all. Not all are meant to be socially accepted, be considered worthy companionship, nor even be regarded equals to those that thrive in a social herd. I am such said individual and have accepted this life role. I no longer even try to be social. It has little importance. There is no longer any desire for amicable or amorous connections. Attempts only yielded cruelty from others. Now, I have so much time to achieve so much, just by ending all attempts at being social.
I am totally isolated except for the 1 hour of therapy I have per week. I have work, but that actually makes me feel more alone as i interact with people on a superficial level that is not real. Then it is depressing to think I have to pay someone to talk to me one hour a week. Otherwise i would have nothing.
We love you 😘
hey, I don't know you and you don't know me, so of course it's not like I will say something and expect you to trust me and believe me. But still, I am going to say it: very many people are just like you feeling very alone and having no one to talk to except their therapist. I think it may have to do with the changes in the world including the social platforms, they ways we communicate, the way we don't rely on others for survival etc. It feels sometimes like we are different species from our parents. No wonder we feel all alone in a crowded world. But. There is a solution! First off, everyone needs to realize that none of us needs a lot of friends. Just like with romantic relationships most people just need one person to call their own. Second, you've got to become a friend to yourself first before you can figure out who you want to hang out with and talk to. If you seek out challenge, you will seek out people with opposing views to connect with. But most people are drawn to like-minded people, so chances are once you know what you are, you will know who to reach out to. Best of luck and don't despair!
I'm just like you. I can feel what you feel. No friends, toxic family, my psychologist is the only person on Earth I interact with. My job doesn't count, just workmates, superficial yes. I share your pain as a lonely 40 yo man from France.
Yes, what works is to pay a therapist to talk to me as I am unable to establish and maintain relationships because I do not like most people and cannot relate to most people because I never learned to be social due to my innate personality combined with childhood abuse and/or neglect starting at a very early age.
I have tried many, many times over my life, in different ways to be social, but nothing I have tried works.
I just wind up alone and isolated and/or feeling alone and isolated.
Therapy is helping me to be more functional in social situations, because I am practicing to be social in therapy, slowly over the last 3 years, which helps with my job and ability to be more employable, which is the most progress I have made in my entire life to be more normal, socially, so at least I have that going for me.
I relate to this exactly
I think the pandemic pretty much destroyed any notion of stability that most of us had and exposed just how chaotic the world really is. We're all struggling to connect and find meaning because none of us are the same people that we were just a few years ago. Everyone's slate was wiped clean and we have to start over but none of us know where to begin.
Its why many people with trauma were finally validated. It seemed as if everybody understood what it was like to live in a world that is unsafe.
yeah I can't even listen to the video right now. I'm completely hopeless at the moment.
I pushed away most people who cared about me one way or another. This weekend it was the last male friend I had, as he was a bad person and brought me nothing but anxiety anymore.
My native country (Portugal) succumbs to economic crisis and is now worse than some easter european countries. Living here is almost illogical by this point, and my i feel like I am force to go out of it. Plus all the Capitalism still funneling money to the top makes working feel pointless. My traumas are pushing off potential partners. My lack of confidence is disabling me from even trying to find one. The prevalence of promiscuity and adultery makes it all seem pointless. Economic crisis and climate change makes it seem illogical to have children, so I am also unwilling to commit to some random partner for the sake of children.
I am at the depths of despair.
@@pedroclaro7822I don't think you're wrong. Pregnant rabbits, when stressed, can reabsorb their fetuses. The world is collapsing. And the thing the media doesn't talk about is how utterly fragile. The supply chain is. Confidence in Wall Street too. People don't realize the food supply could totally fracture, and half the country could starve to death in 3 months. I basically feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Capitalism can't provide journalism, which is why we don't have journalism. We have entertainment, corporations, masquerading as news organizations. And nobody is providing any fixes.
I 💯 agree!! This is exactly how I've been feeling 😢
Pedro, I get it. I had to leave Portugal. Part of the loneliness is feeling a complete detachment from Portugal. I love where I live now and yet I don't belong. I feel at home but I'll never be from here, if that makes sense. Still so much to figure out and maybe will never be able to. I hope you find answers.
Loneliness is seemingly my life now. I feel the start of social media and cell phones and online dating really messed us humans up as far as connection. It sucks and I’m tired of hearing the same solutions when they don’t work because most people are so consumed in their bubble.
Yet for some, social media, phones and online dating has helped them connect ..... I also find many people are consumed in their own bubble, particularly their family bubble. I'm feeling more lonely the older I get as people are holding on to their own very close people even tighter and excluding others ...... It is so sad. I absolutely relate to your comment "loneliness is seemingly my life now"; something I need to get used to
There are only zombies outside
Totally true. We feel that social media helped us but in reality it did the exact opposite. Very sad
I spend 90 percent of my time alone and most of the time i am content that way because i have anxiety and i am comfortable with just "me". Lately, i have wanted so much to be able to talk to someone but i have isolated myself for so long that i dont even know anyone anymore. Its not like i can walk up to a stranger and just say " would you please listen to me?". I can relate to your "people pleasing" ways of wanting to...solve the problems of others because the times that i DO talk to a friend (which i have about 3)...i end up delving into their problems or thoughts and just trying to offer good advice abd showing that i care..or just listening to them. One of my friends passed away this week and it hit me pretty hard because she was one who had a lot of depression and was very unhappy with her life...and the majority of the time i spent talking to her was reassuring her, speaking positivity, trying to help her sorf through her feelings. ..now she is gone .and it was like putting a mirror in front of my face.. will that be me too? Will i leave this world lonely ...feeling invisible? I have cried all day and i actually googled " help me i am lonely" and found this video. Lol .kinda crazy eh? I want to thank you for sharing all you said...it helped me to not feel so alone. God bless you
I’m a therapist and wish I could be more open, authentic and vulnerable with people. I’ve spent my entire life hiding behind a facade. Thank you for showing your vulnerability Kati, you will have helped a huge number of people including me by doing this ❤
All my love to you. Don't feel bad about this - it is beautiful that you share this here. ❤
I doubt you're a therapist
Be true to yourself. There is little value in a relationship where you cannot comfortably be yourself. The trick, i think, is to know that when you are your true self, the right people will gravitate toward you, and the wrong ones will fall away. So be authentic and be vulnerable, and the ones who matter won't mind, and the ones who mind won't matter. If they don't like you for you, then why would you want them around anyway?
Therapist is not the same as psychologist. Therapists are like counselors, and not necessarily trained in complex trauma. i've broken therapists! @@MC-fw5vt
@@MC-fw5vt - Oh, I believe it. Most therapists are useless and do more harm than any good, yet charge people money for their BS. BEWARE.
I made best friends with myself. I found the things I enjoyed doing. I stopped feeling guilty that I didn't have time to please everyone.
Omg THIS IS IT FOR ME TOO! I wasn't much of a friend to myself. Thank you for that.
I wish you well through your journey in this life
Yep, let's be grateful to our human form for getting us around on planet Earth
❤️
"That's a brave step towards self-care and contentment."
It is a hard feeling for sure… Covid made every one realize that no thing can be taken for granted, and that you are going to be a lone one day, so yes it did shook us to make us looks deep inside and figure out who we are and what we want… so we are all going through this quest… thanks for sharing ..
This hits so hard. I feel worthless to the point I don't even try to prove myself. For the past two days I've been feeling really really really worthless because I don't have anything, I haven't built anything. I feel this loneliness since I was a kid and spent my life trying to feel worthy of affection with no success.
God id always by your side ❤
Same here .. I felt like I've made sooo many wrong decisions 😕 😢... hugs
I am so sorry you are experiencing this. I feel for you, hang in there
You are not worthless. You honest comment helps a lot of people, that alone has a lot of worth ❤
I don't know if you believe this, but please try meditation. Meditation will make you feel a lot better and remove these lonely feelings. If you've never meditated before, please start with auditory meditation (where you hear something through headphones-like guided meditation or beej mantras of each chakra). Or transcendental meditation where you say something(like positive affirmation, beej mantras, or any mantra).
It's been proven meditation can change brain structures in just 6 weeks by brain scanning.
Start your morning by 1 hr daily meditation, you'll be a new person in no time😊😊
To start with-
th-cam.com/video/tiLNJPjFhz4/w-d-xo.htmlsi=D8oMPwVWgYcacj8Y
Hear this in your headphones.
Boom! Boy did this hit home! Girl, I cried with you. Some due to empathy but a lot due to feeling like you were my mirror. Your break through really resonated with me.....proving my worth...whoa, that was heavy....and true. Thank you for being so brave and sharing the way you did.
Thanks for sharing & you are so welcome!
You have absolutely described my life. I don't know if it is fixable, honestly, but what you have put out here over the years has been so helpful. It helps me know that I can't be as screwed up as I think I am. We have global PTSD. We are so disoriented and dysregulated. Thank you for your authenticity. It gave me the courage today..
Dawn...I completely agree. Its global. A massive shift is going on. People are angry and sad. We are going through a huge transition
As a people pleaser, I totally understand. One thing I have learned through my 67 years is no matter how much or many times you please/do something for someone else, they will use you and forget you. If you ask for the slightest help from them, they totally ignore you then quickly turn around and "Totally Expect" you to do whatever. If you refuse or can't, they cut you out completely and spread ugly rumors about you. Not just once, but every time! ... until they need you again!
I read somewhere people only appreciate your help if they have to pay for it, or have to do something to get it. I'm a people pleaser too, and I've had to learn to treat people exactly how they treat me.
The world is full of givers and takers. The givers have the tougher time.
@@lcampbell9837 I just can't treat people like they treat me. I couldn't live with myself. It would only cause ME more stress. I've just learned to not ask anyone for anything. Not even a ride for groceries.
@@iffyangel3380 I’ve gotten rid of those who are on a one way street all the time. Just won’t put up with the behavior.
@@iffyangel3380Try to connect with nature.............many people went through such period of stress........It will pass soon .................
As a therapist in training. I love that you share your vulnerability like this.
xoxox
Same here!!!!!! Provides me such valuable modeling of healthy disclosure, while being mindful of the audience and platform!
Same, it is helpful
Do you think it is professional? If I would have a therapist who would cry during a session I would go to another one. I would be there to cool my own feelings not hers or his.
@@pietertinbergen2840 Yeah but this was not a therapy session.
I can't imagine how hard it was to press "upload" on this. Kati is a hero for sacrificing her privacy for the good of all of us. Thank you Kati. I appreciate you.
This is what social media should be used for - people sharing their humanity and struggles and supporting each other in this shared human experience. To know that you're not alone, we ALL feel pain and disconnection.
"Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we'll ever do." Brene Brown.
As an aspiring therapist it's really powerful to see a professional being raw and honest and sharing a difficult part of the process of working on ourselves. Thank you
"Transparency in personal growth could indeed inspire others on a similar path."
How's the pursuit going? I hope you're doing well.
Yes I deed thank you showing up in your rawness.. being a therapist also its good to show our vulnerability. Xx
@syzygy4365 I'm currently taking some time to travel before I settle down but I'm excited to start the journey in the nearish future
We came for the psychology knowledge, but we stayed for your kindness, personality and insight. You don't need to prove yourself on this channel ❤️ (edit: not that this is the root of the problem, but just so you know)
Aww thank you. xoxo You're the sweetest. xoxo
Absolutely!
exactly, @Katimorton we all love you for you, you are enough, you are worthy ❤ actually I think you are awesome human beign ❤ sending you, Kati, and all of you loooots of love 🙋🏻♀️🥰
I absolutely concur..
So true!
Core values have helped me stay grounded.
But loneliness has been a prevailing emotion
Thank you for sharing. I am sorry you've been feeling so lonely too. xoxo
Why do you "need to stay grounded"?
@@Katimorton I've learned the hard way to stop caring what people think of you. Your first to be pleased of yourself. You know who you are and stop validating yourself to others. You really need to ignore what people think, you can't change insecure people. No matter how much you try. You will feel better once you let go. You can't make everyone like you. Lots of insecure people are miserable and supper jealous of you so they want to crab you to pull you down so you don't to better. Like me at my workplace mobbing, gaslighting me for over 12 years. I'm not a quitting for these lazy insecure bums. Bullies are nothing but a bunce of lazy cowards with no life.
It's very real and scary
I have a husband and a family but I feel so alone. I feel lonely I feel empty. Thank You for sharing this.
I wonder why because I do too… if there are so many ppl lovely why can’t get match up pair up to be there for each other! I wonder this at all times like a lonely community to tap in when love is needed 😊
I'm going through the same thing! 😢
Thank you for sharing this and for the other similar replies...
You should make some female friends Dear Sister
Me too 😢😢😢😢😢❤❤❤❤❤
“Hustling for my worth” oh my gosh! I’m crying so hard. This is me!!!!
I cried with Katie we are all in a transition period and the struggle is real. Thanks Katie for sharing this vulnerable moment with us I felt supported and at least I know I’m not alone 🩷✨
I’m just glad that other people feel this way. I thought I was the only one and that everyone else is completely perfect and normal.
@@DonnaChamberson I believe that is a collective feeling a lot of people are feeling lost lately, and the change in season also brings change on us and it can be emotionally difficult.
"Vulnerability shared is comfort gained, you are indeed not alone."
It is helpful to know I’m not somehow flawed.
I'm less-abled, lost my job and the ability to work 10 years ago. At my last job, the last time I was among people, I was bullied which made me mistrust every one, so I feel lonely very often. I'm grateful to have many cats (and dogs) in my life. If I feel that dark loneliness coming up, I go out and feed & take care of stray cats ... and I feel connected to these souls who are out there on their own trying to survive out on the streets. If I can make them purr ... then I'm happy and I feel like I have a purpose. I hope everyone finds that purpose and that love through kindness. I also hope to find like-minded humans to connect with ❤
I also feed homeless beings including cats, dogs and birds. I live on the other side of the world, but we have this in common. You see, there are more people who think like you. It may be that they are difficult to notice 😊❤🙏
I also feel so good when a pet or a stray comes up to me ... I feel worthy of existing... Otherwise everything feels just bland boring and superficial. No matter how hard I try to connect with a human, it's almost impossible to want the same from each other and then be disappointed
I went through same things and I will be happy to become my friend 🤍
I feed stray cats too and was just tattled on by the neighbors. My landlord put a note on my door telling me not to feed cats. People have no compassion. It makes me sad. The cats aren't hurting anyone. I feed them at night. Let them eat. Also give them treats and water and remove the bowls after they eat. It's very discouraging that people tell on me.
You are DEFINITELY not wasting our time by sharing! We need to feel like we are no the only one’s going through this! Thank you Katie!
Your consistent behavior of showing up with vulnerability has been a comfort and inspiration to me for years. Thank you for this BRAVE share.
Hi...?
I've always felt alone. I felt alone growing up with good parents and a decent brother or in a crowded room. I always felt different than my family and I always felt misunderstood.
Same but I started to notice the difference of my life and my family's life, the difference is that they had their friends and are social but I'm very introverted and I need to be a little more social if I want to enjoy things in life. Its been difficult for me going to therapy rn for stuff but its really been helping!
Same here, I can feel very alone within a crowd or in my family. Even if they don't want to exclude me, I feel somewhat excluded.
Same, for me my cat is very special, animals are often nicer than people…….
I feel alone too, but..
I aim fine now after a huge breakdown.
Its NOT easey, but Its possible. ❤
I had to laugh when you said “I don’t want to take up anymore of your time.“
That’s exactly what you were talking about. You are worth our time. You don’t have to stand on your head to be worth our time or anyone’s else time. ❤
"Indeed, one's worth is inherent and not contingent on doing or proving."
At 54 years of age, I am not strong in who I am. I am so lonely, it’s sometimes unbearable. I have been afraid of being alone my entire life and I feel completely alone. I can relate to you completely with the control issues and people pleasing. It is making sense to me now. I’m afraid of rejection.
Love yourself and be your own best friend! We are star dust we are the universe experiencing itself. Divine love is what you will find when you open your heart and start a higher vibration!!! Choose love over fear ♥️♥️♥️💪
"Facing our fears can be a stepping stone towards self-assurance and strength."
I see myself in your words .. what can we do ?
If you ever want to talk to someone let me know, id always be open to chat and know how you feel
I am 29 and I feel very lonely. I have no friends , no gf and more, no one to hang out with, no where to really go. Co-workers hanging out and never inviting me. It hurts a lot to feel alone and unwanted. It gets very boring.
Thank you for being vulnerable. This is so incredibly relatable especially right now. It’s like the fall hit and everyone I know stumbled back a couple of steps. Every single woman in my trauma support group expressed this very same thing 3 nights ago. The whole world feels chaotic right now. ❤
Kati, you are SO brave and words cannot describe how much of an impact you make! I cried along with you (I’m a ‘crier’, and a hugger, too) bc this hits the core of me! I am tremendously GRATEFUL for who you are and what you’re doing on here! 😌
The raw emotions are what I'm here for. Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest with us strangers.
"True strength is found in vulnerability, thank you for acknowledging that."
Addicted to accomplishments? Proving your worth? That was me in my 20s and 30s. All the way to the top. Because that's what my culture told me to do. In my 40s, I realized it's all a fiction. Now I'm 54 and I am enough; I was all along. And the letters by my name mean nothing. My diplomas and professional licenses, trashed long ago. Now, I just want to be happy. I just want a tribe. Loneliness, I'm so done with you.
Wow thank you for this 😢
Yeah, I want to belong somewhere, too. I am at the point where I have accepted I am all I have and ever will. It isn't completely healing, but it does somehow make me enjoy my life a little more. I am realizing I have to put me first and stop waiting for others to need me. I have been working on that and gradually it is slowly helping. It will never be solved, only accepted as reality and I have to find the inner strength to cope. No one else can do it for me. It is the human dilemma.
I hope you find you.
💯 ❤
Be very proud of yourself you did a very brave thing being open and honest. Your words are deeply appreciated it makes a lot of people feel like they are not alone in their feelings of loneliness.
A decade ago i began studying narcissism, and it has helped me understand my anger. Recently, i became aware of Childhood Emotional Neglect, and it has helped me understand my sadness. i've been feeling most everything you described as of late more so than i have in a while. i've been disgusted with the relapse, and it has been so draining, but i think the information regarding CEN has provided new prospective, and despite the fatigue, i feel lighter in a way, and i think the process has been healing. Incidentally, yesterday i sent my mother info on CEN, in the hopes of creating a bridge to understanding. The initial response was what i expected, but after a few added thoughts and testaments to my issues, she responded by saying "Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me. I love you", and it was the first time in my 45 years i remember not feeling unsafe confiding and sharing with her. i was proud of my mother rather than hurt and confused, and it was a nice feeling.
Wow, thank you for being so open and honest. Your message is a true blessing ❤
I grew up literally alone. My parents were working 24/7 and when mom had her day off, she slept until late so I got up in the morning and made my own milk at the age of 6. My parents started leaving me alone at home at the age of 11 so I started cleaning the house and cooking for myself and eating at an empty table the entire day after school. I didn’t have many friends I stayed home a lot with my video games and sketches to keep me company.
I learnt being on my own and I noticed I have trust issues, I don’t like nor let people to come close to me because I feel like I won’t be enough for them and they will let me, so I’m staying alone.
Loneliness is one of the worst feelings you can experience.
read Ramana Maharishi's book "who am I"? there is a witness in us you want to call it god or self is your choice but witnessing our thoughts, emotions, feelings, our body etc... so we are never alone. if we can notice our feelings changing, our thoughts changing, who is that witness or self in us?
I’m sorry you went through that. You’re not alone.
Wow...total credit to you!!!
I know no one will see this, but I'll type it anyway: the last song John Lennon ever wrote was called "Dear John"- a note to himself. His final words, if I recall them correctly, were: "The race is over...you've won." He was telling himself it was o.k. That song would be my message to Kati Morton. There are still always problems and dangers ahead- John Lennon never got to finish that song- and I know a few lyrics won't fix everything, but remember that you're in the winner's circle, covered with flowers. Hear the applause sometimes, and know how special and how adored you are. Warmest regards to you from one of the millions you've helped.
This couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. I have struggled with loneliness most of my life. But after losing my dad a few months ago, it has become next level.
It is definitely a time of transition and “crisis of identity” describes it really well. I always thought that in my 40’s I would have this all figured out, but I find I’m more disconnected with myself than ever.
Thank you for being vulnerable, honest and real. It lets the collective “us” understand that we’re not alone.
"Grief can amplify feelings of loneliness, but shared understanding can help."
" Proving I was worth showing up for " 😢 ❤ I needed to hear that. I love this journey of embracing who I truly am and loving others where they are.
I moved from Sacramento, California to South Bend, Indiana. The first two and a half years has been SO hard because EVERYTHING I knew was gone or changed. I am just starting to gain my new community after dealing with lonliness and identity loss for two years. We base our identity on who and what we have around us and not internally. My faith has returned and that has helped me reconnect to my identity. It's not been perfect but it's been worthwhile. You are going through what you are going through to help others get through theirs. So much love to you! - Rebecca
I’m a psychology student and when something does happen in my life I do get emotional and I wonder damn how I’m I suppose to help people when I’m so vulnerable , but you have shown me that it’s only human to be vulnerable and that’s our speciality to empathise and feel other humans. Thanks for sharing your deepest vulnerabilities with us Kati!
"Humanness and vulnerability can indeed enhance our ability to empathize."
A quote that has helped me is “The key to a happy life, is to accept you’re never actually in control”.
The beauty of being vulnerable is that opens a door so many are looking for, thank you for all you do ❤
I know why I watch and listen to you because you are authentic. I am going to watch something after this.
I can so relate to you Kati... I wish we lived closer to one another, because you are the kind of person I would LOVE to have as a friend. You're so real and honest, and I respect the heck out of that and YOU!!!!
I feel really unwanted by everyone, like I’m a burden.
Same, fellow human. I feel very much the same. 😬
Big same. I’d rather just be lonely.
Yes, this. I narrowed the circle of people I rely on a few years ago and try not to be too much or too needy but lately they have other things to deal with or I have asked too many times, I guess. I feel like I am tiresome to them. It's not a patch on how tiresome I am to myself.
Thanks for your honesty. Mothers day was the worst day this year. Mom passed last year and even tho I am blessed with 4 kids and a dozen grandkids, crying pops up with memories. My son wanted to take me to lunch but I said I would not be good company, that was terrible of me. Cannot change anything, just hope he knows Moms a little fuc---- up. Realizing this its a step in changing myself to be loving, at peace and to send love and joy to all, not to get angry but forgive those who have hurt. That's all. God Bless all who go thru these things and know there is a source more powerful than anything else that we just have to give it up to Him.
I'm sorry you're experiencing this
We all need extra hugs right now.
You've achieved great things & helped so many people. Thanks for all you do
"Thank you, your kind words are a reminder of the power of community."
This video really hit home. Thank you so much for being here for your community and being so vulnerable with us. You don't have to do that at all. You are very much loved by your community.
Aww of course.. and thank you for being so kind and supportive too :) xoxo
@@Katimorton I look forward to all of your videos. Thank you for your time and energy.
Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻❤️ It‘s the „Trying to prove that I‘m worth showing up for“ and especially „prove that I‘m important enough“ that hit me so much 😢 I feel this soo badly.
,
I feel like i deeply resonate and relate to the pain you feel, especially when you talked about the connection between control and self-worth. I realized I do the same things for pretty much the same reasons. That realization, I feel, can help me grow to overcome that short coming. Thank you for sharing this.
In my small opinion, this video is pure confirmation that your purpose in life has been fulfilled. Your heart is raw, your honesty is refreshing and the commonality we all feel with you is invaluable. To see you going through the emotions we are all going through is a moment of beautiful connection and I am so grateful. Please don't stop.
Rick is so right, Kati.
This! ❤
This is so true & real. I’ve been trying to “earn” my worth for years & am just now attempting to deconstruct unhealthy thinking patterns through therapy. Thank you for your vulnerability & courage. ❤
I can’t tell you how much this resonates. Thank you for your advice, work, and perhaps most profound is the bravery it took to put this out while you’re still working on it yourself. This feels more real and we get a glimpse of what someone else thinks/feels while working through these challenges. I can’t thank you enough for showing up for me and everyone else. I hope this comment in a weird internet way reciprocates that for you, even if it’s a small token of gratitude via a comment from a stranger.
I've been setting some pretty firm boundaries because I'm tired of being treated bad and getting used by others. Especially family. My birthday was two days ago and no one wished me happy birthday. It made me realize how alone I am.
😢
I'm sorry friend. Happy belated birthday. Also you aren't the only person feeling alone. I guess we just have to make the best of things and make our life exciting
happy bday. stay strong. you can do it
Dear Kati, I am so glad I found this video and am so grateful for you vulnerability, tears, and brutal honesty. I have often felt like I have needed to hustle for my worth, and like I needed to have it all together so people wouldn't know that I was broken. A big part of my healing journey was Brene Brown's work about healing from shame, in the Gifts of Imperfection, and how she shares that the way through shame and feeling unworthy is by having the courage to be vulnerable and share like you did, because keeping our shame and feelings of unworthiness quiet in the dark only broods more shame. You helped so many people to heal with this video, because you showed us that we are not alone in these feelings, we're not freaks of nature for feeing this way, we're in it together in this human tribe. Sending you so much love and healing. You lightened my heart so much hearing your voice and seeing you work through this! I agree with you that we are going through a period of transition where we will be able to hold so much more love and joy, and of so much more interconnectedness, which you modeled by having the courage to share this video...but first we have to alchemize the heavier energies of grief and the pain of feeling unworthy of even being here. Thanks for showing us how.
I hope you're able to read this, I have been through quite alot of things you're feeling. You save peoples lifes, you gave me hope for my life. I know this comment isn't going to neccisary help everthing, I hope you know that many people will save you as well, it's hard, but you have given us so much love. Your're important. You can give yourself time, your're allowed to prioritize some time for yourself. Remind yourself of how far you've came, you're an amazing woman.
This is so simple, yet so powerful. Just a human being in her authenticity, struggling with life's challenges, no "disorder", just the intensity of trying to find meaning. I've watched a lot of your videos, but i never felt so connected with you. This one left a mark.
"Authenticity connects hearts; glad this resonated with you."
This made me feel less alone, thank you so much for sharing ! I'm a 23yo boy from the other half of the world, and I've been feeling kind of similar to what you've decribed, these past few years have been hard, especially with covid, I've been struggling with my identity it caused me to isolate myself from the people I love the most, but I'm slowly getting out of it, I've been focusing on my art more and my studies, and hopefully will reach out to my friends soon I miss them so much I didn't mean to push them away... but anyways I stumbled upon your video by chance and just you expressing yourself helped me feel so much better, knowing that I'm not going throught it alone, is somehow comforting thank you once again you got yourself a new subscriber
Today I came to the conclusion that I need more internal reflection and realize it is another time to evolve. I’ve also been changing my content and slimming down on a lot of platforms. I too have felt extremely lonely lately, these last several months actually. Dealing with abandonment issues, dealing with content creation and my personal life. What’s come up for me is “let go” “let go” and it can be extremely difficult. Just finished journaling this evening and your video popped up. Happy I’m not alone in feeling this way. Spoke to a friend today and had immense empathy towards her struggles and it was nice to know I’m not alone. 🤗 🤗 Thank you for being so vulnerable.
It’s really hard to see you in such a fragile state. I’m struggling with a lot of what you mentioned and have for most of my life. I feel so lonely, isolated, unwanted, and unworthy of someone who truly cares for me it hurts, deeply. I’m sorry to hear about your struggles, but it also helps me understand that my own feelings and struggles are valid - I guess I don’t feel so alone to hear similar stories.
The idea that grief needs a witness has come to me. I would like-- even feel desperate - to have people in my group to hear me out! To open up with them and just share my grief!
The collective is going through a deep spiritual awakening. A dark night of the soul is not easy for anyone to go through especially if you don't know that that is what is happening. Everyone is being faced with truths that many not be ready to face. But it is necessary for us to do the deeper shadow work. What you are going through can be extremely difficult and painful but it is necessary. You will get through it and come out an even more amazing and beautiful person and woman. This will prepare you to help others on a whole other level. Do not forget you are loved and appreciated by so many.💗🕊🙏
So glad to see someone mention this! Covid (plus other things coming to light, like the climate crisis) has thrown everyone into a dnots! Ego-death! A spiritual awakening! Mine started a few years earlier, for personal reasons (and is ongoing), so it’s interesting seeing others going through it now….. and how some people are reacting to it.
@@Mistical1982 There isn't just one dark night of the soul. Someone can have multiple it all really depends on the person and their journey. Our collective consciousness is rising and everything within society that has been hidden in the darkness and in our shadow is being exposed and we can no longer live out of alignment with the Divine. Our global society is extremely dysfunctional and the truth about what goes on in the world can't be hidden anymore. So, everyone needing to really look deep within and see our wounds that we are projecting onto society and why we allow evil things to happen. I've been on this journey for a very long time and it is not easy. The more one gets in alignment with the Divine the more you see how society can not go on the way it has and that starts with us. How have we been functioning within our dysfunction so we can fit into a toxic society. It's exactly hard and it gets worse before it gets better. We all need to help and support each other when we can. We are all going through it and soon more people will be awakening. There are levels to it. We will all get through it. 💗🙏🕊
*extremely hard
You’re a treasure, Kati. What you did today, that’s more than valuable to show up for. What a great person to help others while helping yourself.❤
"Thank you, the admiration is mutual. We all strive together."
Thank you for sharing your insight and showing your vulnerability. I’m obviously feeling lonely which caused me to stumble across your channel. I’ll keep watching! Air hugs
There is something very healing about your vulnerability and others being able to connect with that within themselves. Thanks for sharing.
So relatable. I started seeing a new therapist and she’s already taken me miles beyond past therapists. We touched on loneliness last week and I started crying super hard. We are all going through similar things and we don’t even realize it.
Isn't it remarkable the lack of basic competence in the for profit healthcare industry? Doesn't make any $en$e!
It is so refreshing to hear this personal struggle from someone who is actually a therapist. I think we often feel like you professionals have all figured out.
The story that you shared has touched so many souls here seeking for help. Not feeling worthy even to your own self is a real one, a strong one..
It sticks with you 24/7, stealing from your sleep, your current moments, your desired perspective on life. No wonder many of us are feeling that we're "missing out" on milion things..no wonder we give power to others to hold our value..
That truly feels like checkmate position, when we realize how many things are actually connected...it is overwhelming.
❤
I worked for the state of Vermont from 2020- 2023, taking calls from all Vermonters to provide support surrounding COVID-19. For three years I did this and without insurance, I paid out of pocket for mental health help and got on an SNRI, trying to be well to help others. I blurted out in a team meeting that I wanted to kill myself and was fired 24 hours later via email. I was, for obvious reasons devastated and lost, I almost immediately recognized that most folks I talked with about COVID-19 were experiencing that same connection to the "collect self-betterment" that seems to be happening even now in 2023, I am still connecting old realizations to current ones and fully understanding myself and growing past debilitating traumas that seemed insurmountable. I hope this continues for everyone, growth is painful, but not as painful as people pleasing and being utilized and forgotten.
I’m so sorry that they fired you. Most employers are terrified of real mental health issues my guess is because they are terrified of their own mental health cobwebs. The right step would have been to help you take care of yourself and more than anything to treat you like it was okay to share.
I feel sad that your had a reaching out moment that was invalidated and used as a weapon against you. The reason behind civility and why it is being eroded is a saddening result of living in this world. I find the most lovely and most deserving people get overlooked. I read a saying once’ the real get judge and the fake get popular’ . Speaks millions to me.
As a fellower Vermonter, you deserve both an apology, sincere thanks and probably also restitution. Vermont did an amazing job protecting folks during covid and you were clearly a hero in that scenario. Please take this sincere gratitude to heart. And don't worry. I know of a lot of Vermont social workers who want to kill themselves, but keep it to themselves. I'd be willing to bet at least 1 in 3 feels that way. Capitalism creates toxic work and workplaces. It's not you. Power on, girl!
Everyone and everything says “if you’re feeling bad (like wanting to kill yourself) talk to someone” well no one wants to listen and god forbid you make someone feel uncomfortable. At a super stressful time in my life recently I said the same thing to someone who I thought knew me well enough to see how “crazed” I was because of the situation since she knew about all of it (was given 30-day notice to move out of rental house - if I had the ability to move I would gave done it years ago because of the crappy landlords’ house being across the patio from mine. So I’ve been homeless since Mother’s Day, left job I had that provided $ for rent because of many things caused by being kicked out of home, getting 2-4 hours sleep every night for at least 6 months trying to keep all the balls in the air, and more) and everyone then treated me like I was behind crazy. Let me see how they would be in the same situation. And I didn’t even list all that was going on. So I guess this weeds out the people who are not who we should be around. Idk. The people who need some kind of therapy a lot of times (like me) don’t have the money to live let alone pay for therapy. And I’m my opinion if there is free therapy somewhere they are probably dealing with I hate to say it lower issues like drug stuff, etc. Some regular, middle-class people who’s normal isn’t “street stuff” need help from people who have dealt with I don’t know how to out it
I hope you’re ok, and taking good care of yourself. That was brutal, the way you was fired. This world can be very cruel, and has become more usering - they used you for everything you had and then discarded you. I’m a therapist like Katie, and don’t you ever give everything again. Build yourself back up, and help people if you can, but always keep some back for you. Whatever difficulty or trauma you’re trying to deal with in life, yours or others, you need to balance with finding the beauty. Whether that is people, nature or art, you need the beauty of life to counter the cruelty. For now, just concentrate on your own needs and on getting better.
This hit home. I've been a walking crisis for a few years now, trying to resolve it with my therapist too, though it's a long road ahead. I am grateful you are sharing your real feelings and thoughts about these rough patches, it is actually motivating to be more authentic myself (which is what I struggle with the most, lacking courage).
I don't want to even pretend to be sociable anymore. I'm exhausted trying and people let you down, are a big part of stress for me.
Kati you are literally setting us free, seeing a therapist open up and cry is what we all need in order to step into therapy and a mental health journey. Love ❤
I’m not a hugger but every time Kati cries I want to give her a hug.
"Hustling to prove I'm worth showing up for". 100%!!! I'm 35 and grew up with a mother who was very much emotionally neglectful, but if I excelled in something (landing a role in the school musical; dance team; etc), that would be the only time I would hear her talk about - brag about me - to others. But she would never tell me to my face that I was awesome or that she was proud of me. So, I just hustled and hustled and stayed busy and excelled. Until I burned out January 2022. I quit my job and went full-time with my photography business, but really I just needed time to breathe. My parents are both against my political views, which was extremely difficult and isolating during the pandemic. I left Christianity, which is my family's entire life's purpose; I'm basically one massive disappointment. So, I too am going through a lot of changes in my life. I'm kind of in a "fuck it, they don't like me anyways, I'll just do what I want and what makes me happy" phase - but it's still super isolating. Thank you SO MUCH for your videos and for sharing so openly. Believe me - WE ALL NEED IT. You give me strength during this difficult time. Never stop being you, Kati ❤
proud of you for being an independent thinker. let us give ourselves the love we deserve. why look for it from others? lets praise ourselves.
It's really messed up to be dependend on a parent who can't appreciate you and doesn't see you as a person who needs and deserves love and respect, but only treats you like you're a puppet for agendas. Unfortunately I can relate, I messes with your self-worth.
I wish you good luck with your healing and all the blessings you can receive. :)
Oh, i relate to your comment here so much! I come.from a Christian background, too, which i have left. And a dysfunctional family....so heartening to hear other voice with similar experiences. We're not really alone, then ❤️🌿
This post was so so important…relating so much. Hustling for my worth all my life. Realizing trying to control everything and trying to manage people’s feelings…this explains it. Ugh. I’m crying along with you. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for being so real. I can totally relate!
I'm in Critical Meltdown at the moment too. I'm with you, sis!! We'll get through it!! Endure. 💜😣💜
i’ve been recovering from a trauma bond and i can’t tell you how lonely it’s been. it’s excruciating… i really want to thank you for this video and sharing your experience because it’s truly been helpful ♥️
"Healing takes time; know it's okay to reach out for support."
THANK YOU for the vulnerability ❤ I Definitely feel alone and glad that even a therapist has these times 😢 I love your content even more because you are real! Keep being a real human for us ❤
I don’t think we’ve processed the strangeness of the pandemic fully and the effects that being so isolated and so fearful has had on us, as well as a pressure at the same time to keep ourselves together. Your line about shedding a skin I think is apt. We are doing that right now, and it’s messy and painful, and that’s probably okay and normal. We need to normalize the messiness. Thank you for sharing with us and being so vulnerable. Your content has always given a lot to me and I’ve felt very seen by it.
I performed, taught classes and maintained a small semblance of having an idyllic reality during the pandemic and feel this 1000%. I think just 2023 proved this to be true how many people bypassed feelings and are still processing them
I also had insane panic attacks, financial instability, and fear of my immunocompromised loved ones dying...among other things. It has been a shit show for pretty much everyone
😢 I feel lonely. I feel stuck. At times I don't really know how I feel.
Katie I do know that you are very helpful to me. When Im scrolling along and I see you in my subscription I feel thankful I found you. Thank you for your vulnerability. You go girl! ❤❤❤❤
This lady got big heart. Drop all expectations, Don't plan anything, Let it go ♫ for long happy life
I was widowed and it’s been lonely ever since. I’m used to it. I just keep busy.
Same here darling. I am lonely and lost without my husband Gerald. He was my best friend and we share the same birthday on October 6th.😢
Same here. I became a widow and single mother at the age of 33. Ten years later, I’m still alone. The day I lost my husband was the day I feel like I died with him. I’m physically here, but I’m just a shell of who I was when he was here. I feel like my husband was the only person I ever had that truly loved me.
Does it help not feeling alone?
@@venessatalbert9232 I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.,…
I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.,:.
Thank you for making me feel less alone in the loneliness. Your honesty means a lot to me.
Honestly . . . . that has been my entire existence thus far. ‘Hustling for my worth’ is the exact phrasing I’ve been feeling, just never knew how to word it and I greatly appreciate you for coining it. Thank you
Thank you for this. I've recently found your channel and appreciate what you're doing.
Omg! This spoke to my soul! I have been feeling this lately more than I ever have. I have been extremely sad. Feeling like I have no one to discuss this with. I thought something was wrong with me. Thank you so much for letting us in to your world ❤
Yes. Yes. Yes. Total crisis of identities. I'm going through the same.
It's strange right?!?! Like we are all going through this weird stage right now.. I hope know you're not alone with it.xoxo And I have to believe we will move through it. xoxo
Me too, total crisis of identity.
My husband and I just moved and I’m so lonely and feel lost and unsettled. I miss my old life. I was just thinking how much 2020 messed me up. I tried to follow my dreams and it didn’t work out. Now I am more isolated and lost than ever.
You were a huge inspiration for me to become a therapist because your videos helped me a lot and then you broke down what the process could look like. I’m really impressed with you showing vulnerability. It makes me feel more connected to your message and your work.
1.29 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS; of course you're worthy of attention. But you know that. It's always the hurt child inside us, and you kick butt by being open about it. We're all on your side, too, for what it's worth.
Subscribers shouldn’t be filling a persons cup, either. That’s part of the problem.
I appreciate you posting this. I do strongly relate.
I love that you do videos like this, it felt more real
This entire video hit me in the gut. I felt all of this.
You dont need to be perfect Kati. You are perfect just as you are. You are enough. Wishing you courage.
Thank you for your transparency! Seeing a therapist who also has a therapist is always comforting to me as a counselor who is not currently practicing but still sees a therapist for ME. You are definitely NOT ALONE in the things you shared on this video 💚
Thank you for being so raw and real and vulnerable about your experience. Loneliness for me partially comes from having chronic illness. It causes frequent intense fatigue, and brain fog and nerve pain. And the frequency of it all just makes me want to hide from everyone, to isolate so that I'm not a burden to anyone with what I suffer with. Because I'll want to share what I go through. And then people just feel sad for me. And I hate that it brings down the mood. But it's my life and what I go through. And I need people who can be that ear and shoulder to cry on. When you said "shedding our skin" that really struck me. I"m definitely shedding what was a very heavy layer. I just went through a major breakup where I finally realized just how DONE I am with getting sucked into toxic relationships with narcissistic men. I just moved, and I feel so completely dazed and frozen with depression and overwhelm. I'm happy to finally be free of that horrible relationship. But I also feel lost, let go of, and detached and unanchored to any strong supportive relationship. I have my therapist, and the occasional friend who will listen to me vent. But it's HARD. It's so hard. Life is just freaking hard sometimes. And it really does seem to be happening to everyone all at once. Sending you so much love and hugs. You're brilliant and insightful and wonderful. You have a such a big heart. You clearly care SO MUCH. I relate to that, intensely caring a to a fault, hyper-diligence, and desperation to deeply connect with anyone who is open and willing for that connection. I hope you're doing so much better now, and that you 're feeling more balanced and whole-hearted
"I don't know what I want. That doesn't mean I don't still want it." ~Squaresville.
oh kati, you post at the right time its almost scary. thank you
xoxox