I feel same way. It's draining getting to be with someone and realizing they choose not to see your value. Much better to put your energy into yourself. Love is beautiful though with the right person. I just think we ladies need to get standards and be disciplined with it.
JUST told someone I was involved with, “I’m not sure who you want, but I am confident it’s not me & I will not be a placeholder until you meet & find who you really want. I’m done.” He said he didn’t think I was being fair & he didn’t want me to end it. I haven’t looked back.
We haven't been intimate in 3 yrs. And I think it's because I put on a bit of weight. Not because I meant too. But because of a medical issue. He says that's not it. He says it's me.
We don't do anything together. And we can't go anywhere together. Because of his behavior when we go out. He makes me feel uncomfortable. Because of the way He looks at other woman. I'm not ugly at all. But he makes me feel that way. Help!
@@elizabethromero451Please, please leave. Men like that will NEVER change and you absolutely deserve so much more than that. You can get better so please leave him. He sounds like such an a**hole! Three years and no intimacy? Noooo, definitely leave!
No, rephrase that to “I used to always be a place holder “. Choose to heal your attachment and childhood trauma and you will stop allowing yourself to be a placeholder
I just feel like you can meet his family and he can call you his girl and you can still be a placeholder. You really just there for the moment. He can drag you along for 10-15 years never marry you , never give you babies.
You can you can absolutely meet their family.... friends..... you can be in a relationship with them for 5.. 6 ....7 years and still be a placeholder.... I've had it happen to me I've had it happen to friends it's not just a short-term relationship .....they will use you to have their needs met for years always having some type of excuse as to why they're not ready to broach the subject of marriage ....and when you break up with them these Jokers go marry somebody else within a year or two's time
Also if you are in the age category.....looking for a husbNd5..... I would venture to say be careful of newly separated and newly divorced men .....they will absolutely use a woman to transition emotionally mentally physically out of their marriage.... promise you everything under the sun when secretly they're just accustomed to have an a partner.... and you become their transition placeholder ...?and that could last for several years they'll turn around break up with you and marry the next woman
girl , some even marry their place holders and if their dream woman comes along, they'll bounce. We all know deep down if we are placeholders because we have intuition .
I can say I have been a place holder.before and it teaches you a valuable lesson when I put that place holder behind me. That's something I will never be again the best thing I can say is I don't do that again
Thank you so much. This resonated so well, because i know I'm a good woman who deserve MUCH better than what I have. That is why he is soon to be history!!
I really needed to hear this. I just went through something similar and I was hoping that was the right decision you have confirmed it thank you very much, sir.❤️
It all has to do with communication and their actions showing you that you are their priority and in their future. Hell just ask what are your intentions and plans for us. Then look for just that.
How about my friend meeting up with her x... on her b day and she tells him, he doesnt say happy b day.. she also started her company the same day...and he's still not congratulating her. ... she goes with him the next day to spend time with him. Because she loves him.
Why does this has to be so difficult. I mean why can't we be grown up, honest and intentional?
Bcz men are immature
Some actually are. Many of us hear what we WANT to hear, not what we NEED to hear and still fail to listen.
@@augarethomas4605 most men are childish immature and choose to play games
I wonder the same.
@augarethomas4605 you have a point
A placeholder is all I've ever been. I want to cry.
And they’re yours!!! Don’t trip
@@honeydove_4844 Good point honey dove!
You are loveable ❤
Hug. Cries.
I feel the same, the downside is him using my pictures as his "only" squeeze... he's great at lying.
Does anyone else feel the need of crying? 🥺Honestly…Im better alone, dating has become waay to frustrating!
Thanks for the video though❤
same girl😥
Me too 😢
I feel the same. It's much peaceful being single and loving yourself 💜
I feel same way. It's draining getting to be with someone and realizing they choose not to see your value. Much better to put your energy into yourself.
Love is beautiful though with the right person. I just think we ladies need to get standards and be disciplined with it.
Same..💜
JUST told someone I was involved with, “I’m not sure who you want, but I am confident it’s not me & I will not be a placeholder until you meet & find who you really want. I’m done.”
He said he didn’t think I was being fair & he didn’t want me to end it.
I haven’t looked back.
Yawn 🥱
@@ElleBrOw this looks like you need battling with this for awhile if you love her fight for it
@@ElleBrOw if you see y'all can make it together and you been in this awhile maybe conversations need to be had.
Wow😦
@@kelseyp.3955 being a placeholder is a bad situation to be in.
The signs are always there but we ignore. You will always feel uncertain about doing life with him but still ignore
When you know, you know. It's simple as that. I grew up with brothers and strong father. You just know when he is into you and when he is not.
Exactly!!!
True
So true!! I grew up with 5 brothers and a very strong father AND mother…his actions, speak louder than words!! 🙏🏾🩵
Damn, he’s my placeholder.
I agree with some of it but we need to STOP mentioning meeting his family... it means nothing!
Agree 💯 👍
Absolutely Nothing big fat Zero
If you’re not his dream girl, you’re his place holder!! TRUE!
heavy hitter
Or Fuck-buddy 👍
@@cookiesmom584 You’re the woman who’ll do, for the time being ☹️🩷
Yep, I was the placeholder.
It’s fine he wasn’t for you go get who is for you 💜💜💜
Me too
I wish I would have had this information when I was 25 (I wouldn't have wasted soooo much time and energy)
Ladies, your some man’s vision board material. Well said ❤️
God is speaking through you to us. Thank you so much.🙏🏼
This is 100% true for cheaters
Dont fatten the frog for the snake!
I was a placeholder for 8 yrs. I ended the relationship last December and so glad I did.
I'm in a 8yr relationship. And feel like a place holder. His family loves me. But I don't feel he doesn
We haven't been intimate in 3 yrs. And I think it's because I put on a bit of weight. Not because I meant too.
But because of a medical issue. He says that's not it. He says it's me.
We don't do anything together. And we can't go anywhere together. Because of his behavior when we go out. He makes me feel uncomfortable. Because of the way
He looks at other woman. I'm not ugly at all. But he makes me feel that way. Help!
@@elizabethromero451 yea time to drop him, and don't look back.
@@elizabethromero451Please, please leave. Men like that will NEVER change and you absolutely deserve so much more than that. You can get better so please leave him. He sounds like such an a**hole! Three years and no intimacy? Noooo, definitely leave!
If I gotta be someone’s dream girl I will just stay alone.
I you touched my ego im crying right now this is happening to me i give but do not receive i have so much love
this is soo true, I was a placeholder to my ex bf and your videos really helped me and gave me the strength to let my self free from him
I'm always a placeholder
Me too! It's not a nice place to be in.
Same here.
No, rephrase that to “I used to always be a place holder “. Choose to heal your attachment and childhood trauma and you will stop allowing yourself to be a placeholder
Me too and it's so unfair!
@@socol76
Yes, no one is talking about how attachment styles are linked to this
I just feel like you can meet his family and he can call you his girl and you can still be a placeholder. You really just there for the moment. He can drag you along for 10-15 years never marry you , never give you babies.
You can you can absolutely meet their family.... friends..... you can be in a relationship with them for 5.. 6 ....7 years and still be a placeholder.... I've had it happen to me I've had it happen to friends it's not just a short-term relationship .....they will use you to have their needs met for years always having some type of excuse as to why they're not ready to broach the subject of marriage ....and when you break up with them these Jokers go marry somebody else within a year or two's time
Also if you are in the age category.....looking for a husbNd5..... I would venture to say be careful of newly separated and newly divorced men .....they will absolutely use a woman to transition emotionally mentally physically out of their marriage.... promise you everything under the sun when secretly they're just accustomed to have an a partner.... and you become their transition placeholder ...?and that could last for several years they'll turn around break up with you and marry the next woman
girl , some even marry their place holders and if their dream woman comes along, they'll bounce. We all know deep down if we are placeholders because we have intuition .
I can say I have been a place holder.before and it teaches you a valuable lesson when I put that place holder behind me. That's something I will never be again the best thing I can say is I don't do that again
This really really spoke to me loud and clear. I feel I have been wasting my time for 4 yrs
Thank you so much. This resonated so well, because i know I'm a good woman who deserve MUCH better than what I have. That is why he is soon to be history!!
Lordy he spitting facts be direct ask so you’ll know don’t guess and if you can’t get a direct answer move round ladies
One thing I can say about Derrick he is speaking facts and I think this is his calling. You have confirmed just what I was thinking. Thank you DJ 💕
It took me 5 years to open my eyes with my ex. Very hard lesson to learn indeed.
I
I’m so tired of it. I definitely reciprocate when dating and getting to know each other. I’m sorry though…I don’t feel safe…I’m gone!
Thank you Derrick for looking out for us ladies
I'm not holding a place for anyone. 😊
Thank you for your masculine opinion. You speak volumes in a very short time. I needed to hear this.
You Rock! We need more MEN like u in this world. ❤
I, thank u for looking out for us internet big brother!
I really needed to hear this. I just went through something similar and I was hoping that was the right decision you have confirmed it thank you very much, sir.❤️
Love your analogies and humor! Spot on
Dating is way too frustrating.
It all has to do with communication and their actions showing you that you are their priority and in their future. Hell just ask what are your intentions and plans for us. Then look for just that.
Men tell you their intention, just pay attention
That is so real! I love the way you put things on the line and off the hip
Needed to hear this today. Thank yoi
Thanks Derek for opening my eyes
I swear it happened to me never included me in his family functions … I even had to wait in the car when he visited his son or his mum
Well noted...Great great lessons!
Thank you Derrick.
Can you do a video on older women dating younger men and how those men act if they like you?
Thank you virtual Big Brother
Now they speak the future with you but they don't do.
I love this video so much! All the information is spot on! Sweet Jesus bless my heart
Yes, I, been there, all on my shoulders.
Thank you 🙌🏽
Thank you. You have helped me a lot. Ironically, he has the same exact name as you.
So I am the placeholder...
My ex never put that he was in a relationship on his socials. To me that's a huge red flag that I didn't think was that big of a deal at the time.
Thanks you. You are doing a great service
Thank you I needed this
Thank you for this truth!!
Men are so messed up... I am crying here.... I am a place holder... always have been... crap....
I hear you!!
Omg this is so deep been through this ❤😮😢
Yes, it does feel that I have to do everything and yes women are placed in a position to do everything not cool.
This hit home💯
Now i m in de'pression
Nah sis you were already depressed. Now that you know-now what? That’s the remedy. Move on & deviate seats 𝖺𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗍𝖺𝖻𝗅𝖾. 👸🏽
Thank You 😅so much for your Wisdom and guide to see TRUTH ! GID Bless you 😉
Love your videos. Thank you
Thank you
Thank you.
Massive value 💎💎💎
Love love love this... 👏👏👏❤
I as far as the relationship responsibility is on me.
I, that is me !
Very insightful ❤
You are so right Reel Facts,
Yes, sir, indeed,😊
Really Crazy 😮
I, I. Yes!
Ouch 😓 let’s just keep it real
I am having trouble finding the masterclass...I may be too late 😢.
How about my friend meeting up with her x... on her b day and she tells him, he doesnt say happy b day.. she also started her company the same day...and he's still not congratulating her. ... she goes with him the next day to spend time with him. Because she loves him.
So true
You didn so right yes
Thanks
Thank you 💕🎉
Agreed 💯
I Derrick
Done
He said I want our relationship but not you
😮i am so shocked
"I"
Bro god holds the most important place in any mans life. The woman is just that a woman.
I my internet Big Brother 🦋
That s exactly rhe case wow
I, I El captain
I!!
I down
Wow I was a placeholder smh
I am No one place holder
14 years 😢😅
I
🙏🏻
If i have to constantly be policing a mans behaviour. Im not interested!
😢
❤
That s.mean s no respect
I....sadly....I