How To Get A Kid With ADHD To Focus
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 มิ.ย. 2024
- ADHD is a condition in which a child's brain doesn't appropriately regulate their own activity and getting them to focus may be one of the hardest things to do raising children with ADHD. Here are tips on how to do that.
Watch and Enjoy!
Dr. Paul Jenkins
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#LiveOnPurpose
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For preview and review:
1. given them a task they can handle
2. leave them to it
3. let consequences guide them while treating them with empathy
4. assign the same task a few days later
Our children are true blessings!
Yes, they are.
I need an example for a 3 year old..what is a task I can give that has obvious consequences?
@@karenmaracz1504 this may not be the best example and may not work for every child, but we let our 3 y.o. help with dishes, if she gets distracted and starts playing with water, she just stays standing for longer, and like the doc said, we’re okay with that.
Another example, our little one loves fruits, if she’s taking too long to finish her meal, we give her an extra ten minutes (or whatever time you find to be reasonable) and tell her she gets fruits if she finishes in time. If not, she can try again tomorrow. We’re okay either way! (Physically and mentally healthy kids will only willingly go hungry for so long anyway. If your kid is actually willing to starve him/herself, there may be other issues you want to address first).
What if they don’t wanna do it
@@antoinelyons5323 just like any other kid, give them a reason to care.
I’m 25 now, recently diagnosed with ADHD, but I struggled my whole life in school without knowing what was wrong with me. I just got so bored and everything just moved so slow.
What kinds of things don’t your kids (I’m assuming that’s what you’re referring to) want to do? I can give you some suggestions that might help?
Also there’s some great podcasts out there. I like the “ADHD Experts Podcast” (suited well for families) and the “Hacking Your ADHD” podcast (the host has ADHD himself, and his kids have it too).
Hope this helps 💕
For those who are struggling w ADHD children. Pls be patient. They can't outgrow it. They are just a super curious creatures that have imagination of their own. I use to b a ADHD child. I still suffer from that. As i have a different perception of the world. I dont go with the norms n just super frustrated when someone ask me to. Adventure is in my blood. I crave to explore. To have someone to listen to my 'imaginary adventures' when i was a kid. N i ask alot of questions. With patience n kindness, with alot of love despite the mistakes your kids make,they will grow up n be a genius. Remember anger n frustration will only scare us n scar us. Adhd is already a really terrible thing to cope as a child. No one wants to play w me. N my parents never listen to me n keeps hitting n scolding me for every 'experiment' im exploring. It hurts so bad that i went to school n never want to go home.
Thank you for your words of wisdom and encouragement, yuuki Ting.
Thank you, I am a parent of an adhd child and this really put things in perspective.
My son is 3 yo and you just talked for him now
For me it was I wanted to go home and never go back to school
Thanks for your comment. I have a DHD son who’s now 7years old . Before 1year he told me one day he missed his teacher who he couldn’t see for 2days while she was sick. I asked him why he were so worried n missed about her just for two days? . He replied I love my teacher because I have never seen her angry face n she never shouted at me she is amazing Teacher. That day I realised am not enough Mother , it really touched me powerful words which is impossible to deny. Until today am trying to be a good Mother to all my kids especially him.
I'm speaking from the child's perspective and gosh I wish my parents had acted like that. I'd definitely be less frustrated and more experienced and ready for life. Great video 💜
Thanks for sharing!!
Im sure your parents wish you had acted differently too! 😝 remember they are only human, weren’t child psychologists, and adhd is a very frustrating and for caregivers.
i feel like this is great parenting advice but not specific to helping ADHD kids. The issue is not about avoiding consequences, it's the brain's inability to accomplish the goal.
Thank you Doc, this is really helping me after just watching a couple of your videos, my son started responding almost instantly...I stayed calm, started smiling and I could see his little brain go "say what now?" and then he chose to make his bed.
Fantastic! You got this, Jacques Swart.
Thank you for posting this video. I struggle so much with my student whom is having ADHD. The first method I used is to tell him what was going on in his mind. There is a tiny horse that runs inside his head. Everyone has this little horse, the difference between him and the other people is that they have a lead to control the horse which can cause them trouble when giving free rein to it. The thing is, he does not know how to lead his horse, so he can only be driven by the horse which resembles his emotions and impulse. After great effort explaining this, he bought this and finally told me he is now gradually taking control of this horse because the breathing skill I teach him every time when he decides to go with his instincts, he can now calm down and try to focus and write. I need to think of other techniques to keep him engaged in doing homework while not making him bored. I hope this would help. It's just too hard to keep his attention for a time span over 5 minutes.
Jennie Cornell, this is awesome, you have him developing the internal skills to keep on track. Brilliant.
Hi!! I’m the maths’ private tutor of a 13 year old girl with ADHD, we had two classes and I decided to learn more about how to teach kids with ADHD as she sometimes forgets mid sentence that she is even replying to me… I am very patient with her and respectful of her time and difficulties but was looking for some tips on how to improve her focus span without being intrusive or cause her to get frustrated… Do you have any help? 😅 Thanks a lot, and I hope everything’s going great with your teaching and that kid’s learning ♥️
Any parents out there with ADHD kids.. take this from me as a nearly 30 year old ADHD mama with her own kids.. have extra patience with your kids and try not to think for them.. my mother was amazing but she did so much for me.. it made everything worse.. now I'm learning to think for myself more but tricky. My mum did not want to 'label me' but I really wish I got support outside of school... (Would have been humiliated in school but I guess better to do better in exams) I could have taken some notes or asked to take work home to do with tutor or parent. I managed to teach myself (my parents were busy with work) so when I was 15 I studied for GCSES and got two! That may not sound like enough but because of my ADHD and with zero support I'm happy with that. 🎉
X X, I love your positivity in moving forward and doing your best. Thanks for sharing your experience.
I have a 13 year old who is been on Stimulants since he was 9. It has helped him achieve his full potential academically and socially. He is a straight A student who has deep understanding of human behavior. When I was struggling with him initially, what helped me most was taking a step back and letting him face the consequences of his actions. It helped me keep my sanity. I 100% agree with your technique s. Than you got sharing
It can be hard for some people to not "rescue" their child, but children learn when they experience consequences, Sagini Joby. Thanks for sharing.
Could you pls give me an example of this!! Like if I give my child the task of cleaning his room but he doesn't over let's say two days then what will end up being his consequence? He just basically got away with not cleaning up.. Pls Explain!!
What medication did u start him on
Hi there. How is ur son now?i have a goster son who has adhd and has been on stimulants for 5 years now. Is this lifelong that he will needs these meds most likely? Thanks for sharing!
@@lovebug8482 my 6 year old son I think he have ADHD I see all the symptoms on him and I worried to let him take medication and when I researched the medication took long years. Have you see promising changes on your son ? How long he going to take the medication?
Thank you so much for this video! I'm dealing with a 3 year old who doesn't have ADHD, but he gets overexcited in group activities. This advice really connected for me. You have literally given me peace! Now, I have tools to manage this.
Yes. Better days ahead.
I keeps watching these over and over to remind me what I should be doing. Thanks for making these vids. They are a great help!!
Glad you like them! Erica D, I love the TH-cam format where you can come back to the videos. We all need reminders.
Dear Dr.Jenkins, I'm the mother 🥺who this morning had a meeting with my 8 years old son's teacher, who told me he has lack ofconcentration. He can't write well. He reads good but he doesn't have comprehensive on what he read. Teacher has to remind him on his task and so and so, I've been heart breaking on whats happening to my son and ofcourse , I am blaming myself and my husband that we have poisoning relationship for children, long story short, I just came here to see if there is any hope , God bless you and you will be in my prayer for ever . You didn't destroy my hope ,but with this 5 amazing steps gave me great hope. Im going to write it down and apply one by one. I am going to be your number one fan. Thank you very much, you made my day!🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🥺🥺🥺
mitrafereshteh, You sound like the exact mother your son needs. You can do this.
Wow, this is so powerful! Thank you for including both perspectives in these interactions! Sometimes it's hard to remember that they're not adults and are still working on life-ing. Definitely will check out the other vids!
Thank you, glad you are in our positive-minded parenting community, Namri.
I'm going to have to watch this video One More Time. Last year in 6th grade My sons life and everyone's life was turned upside down. When he started sixth grade he started getting in trouble at school. He has OCD and intrusive thoughts, ADHD, Tourette's syndrome, and anxiety disorder. Even though with all the paperwork from doctors me taking him to the therapist every two weeks the school will not work with me. He is in 7th grade now and is having even worse trouble. I don't understand why the school doesn't understand. And now seeing this video I can tell it is ADHD is out of control and this is why the school has labeled him a troublemaker. Thanks for this video now I see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Michele Leverett, I am so glad the video is helpful for you, never give up.
Paul, thanks again for being YOU and sharing with us. :) Happy New Year to all!
Happy new year! 2022 is going to be great!
Awesome advice! My son teaches me every day how to be a better parent. His brain is just wired a little differently. As parents, adjusting our expectations to be realistic is a struggle. I liked your roof-building analogy.
I recently heard someone compare brains to an engine. Executive functions are automatic for most people, but his are manual. It takes a little more time, effort, and understanding to shift.
Glad you recognize this, Chelsea Campbell. Check out the video on my playlist of How to Parent a Special Needs Child. This is one of the things talked about in there.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV c zzz's
Thanks for sharing. Love that comparison.
I’m glad I found your chanel Dr.Paul . You make me become better mother! Thank you so much
You are so welcome
I did a little experiment this last week with my son, when he had some coins to fight with in one hand he was able to concentrate on his German grammatical, later that week we were concentrating on his English, without something to keep his other hand busy. He was all over the place and it was so hard to get him to sit still and concentrate. He needs something physical in the opposite hand to sort of quiet the noise in his brain so he can concentrate,
Great insight. This helps many kids and is the reason why there are so many fidget toys on the market.
Thank you,thank you,thank you! This is fantastic advice,never thought of it before like that.I understood the point and will give my best to stick to it.
You are so welcome!
Incredibly helpful and empowering! Thank you!!
You're so welcome!
Brilliant once again Dr Paul! Thank you🌸
My pleasure!
Just what my household needs right now thanks SO much 🙏
You are so welcome!
I'm 31, married and have 2 young kids and just found out I suffer from ADHD ( inattentive type) after going so long it caused depression and then anxiety and a laundry list of issue in my life. I'm 100% convinced my son had ADHD ( Hyper active type) and it's so clear to me after reflecting on my behaviors and life choices and seeing a little version of me I'm honestly terrified for him to go through life the way I did. I'm going to be starting a stimulant meditation in January and have been on a non-stimulant meditation for a couple months and not much has changed unfortunately. The hardest part is trying to get my wife to understand what it's like to be the way I am and every time I try to explain why I did or didn't or forgot to do something she just get angry and put me down which is literally the worse thing you can do since most ppl with ADHD have self-esteem issues and already criticize them selfs. I hope I medication and therapy help me so I can help my kids. Thanks for the videos and clear concise speach it easy to understand and listen to without zoning out.
Thank you for sharing, Dustin. It might be helpful to get some counseling as you navigate this. Your wife can learn no to take things personally.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV We've done Cristian based counseling without much change. It really just boil
Good look same problem in my family I friget to paid the bills sometimes for losing my credit cards.I have to do note for most thinking put it help I'm definitely have some on my family members with it too, so I have empathy for them and try my best to be for them.
Thanks for making this video 💜, it will help me with my 3 year old son who has just being diagnosed with ADHD
Ismenia H, I am honored to be on your team.
i'm from indonesia, i just found out your youtube channel and i want to say, THANK YOU! You help me lots!
Happy to hear that! Welcome, Cap Cap.
Thank you once again. I always feel empowered after your vids.
My pleasure! Glad they are making a difference, please share away with someone else.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV i certainly will. i have introduced your videos to my sons behavioural school leaders. 😀
As an adult with ADHD who was treated as a child and an adult, medication is AMAZING for ADHD. Please don’t be afraid of it for your kids. It changes their brain function and helps them so much.
Thank you, Sarah Hood, having a first hand account can help many people as they wade through all the information about this decision. Glad you are doing well.
Hi Sarah,
Could you plz tell the name of the medication plz?
Thanks
How do I go about getting the medication? I'm overwhelmed with my son. I wish this could help. I live in Africa, Nigeria in particular.
Hi could you recommend any medications?
Marijuana
Soooo good. Thank you!! Just shared in 4 places! 🙏🏻
The Audacious Life Podcast, thank you for sharing. I appreciate it.
Would you please watch my video on helping kids how to focus and give me some feedback 🙏🏽🤍 I’d appreciate it so much. th-cam.com/video/Scbc5Grar0Y/w-d-xo.html
Thank you for these ADHD videos.
Marcia Russell, you are very welcome.
I learned I was exactly opposite so great learning thanks a ton.
Glad it was helpful!
Very nicely explained, thanks
Vinod Kumar, honored to be on your team.
Wow thank you so much for this video and advice. I am going to try this
You are so welcome! Car Univ, best of luck.
This was great. Thank you!
You're so welcome!
Thanks for the video, make things clear and as a mother I know my mistake. But yes needs a lot of patience..
Very true! You are the mother your child needs.
This is good advice for parents of children with ADHD, as well for children who don’t have a diagnosis.
Thank you!
Thanks for the video!!
You bet!
Thank you i like how you put it
I'm glad you like it
Love the advice.
Marcia Russell, thank you.
Thank you Dr. Paul for your videos, I love checking up on whats new.
I´ve been wondering if you have made a video on kids with ADHD and autism spectrum? I have a five year old who was recently diagnosed with those disorders and sometimes I struggle handling him when he gets frustrated. Perhaps you could point out to me a video that explains that disorders combined together, or if I can find it on your playlist.
It is an inspiration to watch your videos.
Best regards from Iceland.
I have not addressed the two together on a video, Hafdís Elva Guðjónsdóttir. I will consider it for a future video. I am not sure if you know, but my wife and I lived in Finland for a while and both speak Finnish. Love your part of the world.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Wow.... I think Finnish is a difficult language to learn, no I did not know you and your wife used to live there :) Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my question, I will keep on watching your videos :)
I absolutely love learning from your videos and it has helped me being more patient as a parent.
It is a fun language. I got to act as a translator for Finnish athletes when the Olympics were in Utah. I took them around and had a great time. We were able to visit again about 2 years ago.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Wow that´s great :)
You and your wife live in Utah? I have a cousin who lives there with her husband, I have not been to Utah though, when I visited them they lived in Red Bluff California but now they live in Logan I think it´s called. I hope I can visit there sometime in the near future :) .... although I am a bit hesitant to travel with my son since he is really a handful and I would probably have to hire an assistant to help me keep track of what he´s doing :)
Logan is beautiful. I hope you get the chance to visit. There are a lot of fun things to do.
Thank you!
You're welcome!
thanks so much for this!
You're so welcome!
This is true for all the children!!
Sergio McG, yes, the principle can be applied very broadly.
Thank you so much
You are welcome!
I have not done my research on medications, but it seems to me that there should be another way. ADHD is often negatively labeled. I'm a teacher, and I often hear that term (especially in a negative light). However, I don't think that not being treated results into behavioral, relationship, and academic problems. I feel that humans should create a learning environment that is focused on the kids. Therefore, a hyper kid should have the opportunity to walk around or work in a different spor.
I do like your list: Give a task they can handle, back off after you mentioned what they can do (First Attempt In Learning!), consequences and empathy do the work, give the same task again.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, phyliciajoykloes.
@phyIiciajoykloes I wish all teachers thought like you. ADHD has a negative label due to the lack of understanding, empathy and trying to get the child to conform to the norms. I know my child wants to do what is asked but struggles to so. I hate the thought that each teacher will dread to have him in their class. He is such a sweet boy, but he requires more out of the teacher than what they can give with 23 other kids to tend to. It's sad and scary. He says that he doesn't feel like he is learning anything.
Very good video , thanks , God bless you
Thank you, suki.
How many here are watching this as an ADHD adult??? Haha. Are now dealing with those issues that wasn’t fixed as a child. Something in the video he said needs to happen. I am. I have ADHD and never got help for it. But there is always time to learn new ways to train your brain! 😊
Mysterious Gamer, yes, usually little tricks are learned to stay focus or how to re-focus quickly or how to divide up the work to get smaller things done first to give the sense of accomplishment, then on to bigger things. Figure out what works for you.
"Challenging topic, for kids and their parents". Yeah. It came out of the blue. 😉
Great video!
Yes! Thank you!
So i have adhd and i manage it but i am here to figure out how i can do even better. I am 14 and i just got diagnosed, but i have had it for a while. My parents wouldn't listen to me so i talked to my therapist and she talked to my parents and now they believe that i have it.
Chevy Impala, I am glad you have a therapist to help explain this to your parents.
Thank you 🙃💖
You’re welcome 😊
Thank you so much Dr. Paul! I can apply this to my kiddos even if they're not ADHD children. Awesome tips hands down. I love how u relate everything so we can understand instead of just taking the info because it comes from a professional. 🙏🙏🙏
ROSIE112109, I like to focus on principles and they can be applied to many different types of people. Thank you for watching.
Well said Rosie
Wow, I wish i had seen this video 2 years ago. Ive screamed until my throat hurts. Im exhausted and almost want to cry when its time to sit down for homework. Im implementing this immediately.
Wonderful! Better days ahead for you and your family.
Same here, even beating
How did it go?
Stimulant medications have a paradoxical effect in children and adults with ADHD, hence creating a calming effect. That gets in to a lengthy discussion about the blood brain barrier, etc.
J B, thanks for commenting.
My son who suffers from adhd is having a really hard time with the transitioning of teachers in his preschool. I've tried many different strategies to prepare him for this day & now that the day has finally come it seems like everything went out the window 🙁 the day started out with him crying & not wanting to go to school. He knew he finally got his new teacher today. Well I prayed for the best but got called 3 times from the school. He had been screaming, crying & disrupting the class all day. I had to talk to him to try and calm him & when that didn't work I felt so lost. And started watching TH-cam videos to help me find new strategies on how I can help him & not finding much info I haven't already tried. Maybe someone can give me some ideas PLEASE I don't know what I'm doing wrong.. 😔 our health care system really sucks iv asked for help & all they can do is put us on a waiting list for a aba center. God knows how long that will take ....
Your son is telling you he does not feel comfortable. Perhaps he needs you for a day or two to attend with him so he can see that it is a safe place for him and you approve of the teacher. Think outside the box for solutions and talk to the teacher.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thanks for replying. I did just that for about 3 days ONLY for things to get worse. We finally got the ball rolling on ABA services so hopefully I can learn some new techniques on managing his behaviors. 🙂
I have ADHD and my kid also has it, it's funny how i naturally am doing what you just explained as if i knew he needs this.
You are the parent your child needs, this shows you are tuned in. Good job.
thank so much!!!love wat url do!N tnx also for the webinar for coaching!Keep it up!Well done!well wishes for the year n years to come 👸🏻🤴🏻💫🙏🏼💎🌈📖🥗
Thank you for the kind words, Gerusha Bhotha.
Your MAJESTY are AUSOME dr. and educater😉😊😉😊😉😊
NJWAANAA, glad to have you at Live On Purpose TV.
Please provide suggestions for tasks for a child who is 3 years old. Thanks in advance.
Most tasks for a 3 year old will center around themselves like putting away their toys, clothes, or if they have another "job" like feeding the dog. Depends on the child and where they are in their development.
I don't know when you asked this question....but picking up their lego's and putting them into a lego bin worked for my son.....also, as he got older....I bought him an organizing bin.....they were all primary colors....one for legos', one for cars, one for crayons, etc.....
I taught my 3 year old to sort the laundry bin n run the cycle. We usually compete to see who cleans up the fastest and would constantly ask for his help in cooking. Like spreading butter n jam on toast, stirring pancakes n cracking eggs. They tend to make mistakes. They are kids. Teach them to clean up everytime they screw up. To b honest about their mistakes n to do smthg about it. Not just run away n hide cux mom n dad is going to punish them. I have ADHD my self. My childhood was a mess because nobody understood me. N i only managed to b a better person when i met this great teacher of mine,w incredible patience and care. But she tends to let me do the things my way. She didn't force me to follow the norms instead ask me to do a certain amount of homework a day. I can choose any page i like. N mark it so she will check. End up i was the top ranking students in my school.
Watching this because I am struggling understanding where did I go wrong as a mom to my 7 years old son 😭I expected so much of him at school, because when he was grade 1 he was high honors, but now his grade 2 he has problem concentrating now 😭😭he won't listen to teacher he keep poking his eraser instead.. sometimes when I'm studying him he just smiled even there isn't something to smile about ,I asked him what he was thinking ,he said he is thinking about the galaxies and how beautiful it is. I don't know anymore ,In school teacher probably thinks it's a failed parenting for me
Don't even think about what the teacher is thinking. Continue to talk to your son. He is having big thoughts and may need to be challenged in areas he is interested in.
Thk u sooo.... Much.
You are welcome, Rima Mehta. Honored to be on your team!
Brilliant love it. To
Thank you.
I was an ADHD kid in the 80's and was on Ritalin. It was awful and made me a zombie. I say stop medicating kids and get those kids in a separate class situation that is engaging. Also, letting them grow out of it helps. I learned better as a young adult when I was able to focus. Why do kids need to be on a time table to learn? I have a great love of history now as an adult, but history and the way it was taught in school was boring to me. I really wonder if people like the guy in this video even bother to talk to people that grew up with ADHD. I don't think they do, because if they did, they would stop trying to use pharmaceuticals to treat it. Also ADHD kids need to be OFF THE SUGAR diet is a big part of it.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Truth
Every situation is different. I was against meds for my son, we finally came across Vyvanse n it worked wonders. He was about 7 at the time. Was on it abt 6 months. Then He had a cold n when school nurse checked him, said he also had increased heart rate, then we had to take him off. Vyvanse worked. We prob just needed to reduce dosage but he eventually asked me about 10 yrs old n said he will try harder. Said he didn't feel like himself on meds. Scary stuff. I feel like sports n staying busy helpd me over the years. But if someone woulda made me aware that i had adhd I woulda tried harder to focus.
Just a short version of possibly a common situation
That statement you made about stimulants making non ADHD people more hyper while making those people with ADHD more calm and focused. Would you mind citing your sources for that? Where have they done a study like that?
Haley Gray, I don't have it in front of me, but it is easily found on the internet.
Dr.Paul, what you think about neurofeedback to treat ADHD ? I've heard many positive results .. thanks
I have not seen the data on this type of treatment so I don't have an opinion at the moment. If I get a chance I will look at the science, Farida Russel.
Thanks for letting me no not to get angry and making her do it again if it not done right.
Thank you for watching. Glad you are here.
Thank you Dr. Paul. Your videos help me alot on how to deal with my kids..Could you please do some videos about ASD kids . Thanks alot.
So honored to be on your team, Zaha Lhou! If you mean kids on the autism spectrum, here are some videos that we have done:
"How To Parent A Child With High-Functioning Autism" - th-cam.com/video/9sW3pBUXlvE/w-d-xo.html
"How To Support And Teach Children On The Autism Spectrum" - th-cam.com/video/CQ94VHv0DhY/w-d-xo.html
"How To Deal With A Child With High Functioning Autism" - th-cam.com/video/TvXhagQEXKE/w-d-xo.html
"How To Teach An Autistic Child To Talk" - th-cam.com/video/81Z4JQ6VObQ/w-d-xo.html
Thank you i was looking for the same thing especially i have a child with global development delays and one on autism i hope you can do more videos for as thank you i love your channel and been learning alot from it
Hi, sir! Hope you can make a video (if you don't have one yet) for Teachers and for Mass. You knows kids that are just so distracted that makes us also distracted during the mass cuz we keep on telling them to keep quiet, listen.
Great suggestion! Short answer, give the child something they can do. Maybe a fidget spinner or draw to keep them focused. Depends on the setting what they are allowed to do.
Wow Doctor!!!!!👏👏👏👏 You're obviously Amazing!!! That's such a great tip!! And of course I love the "parents smiling and children thinking" tip! Ha ha ha.... thank you very much as usual for making these wonderful videos!
Vimi Maliakel, it worked on my kids.
What type of tasks give examples and examples for consiquences for 8 yrs old twins
Agnes Sakowska, people are so different and their circumstances so different that it is difficult to give examples and consequences that fit everyone. Just can't be done. Have a brainstorming session with another parent or someone who knows your children. The best consequences are natural consequences. If they don't do the work they fail and have to do it again. Those kinds of things. You know your kids best and what their likes and dislikes are.
Iv taken your advice and it worked 💯💯👌👌💖
Yamuna Jolicoeur, honored to be on your team.
I adore this 😂
Thank you.
Present!!
Good to hear from you, Georgeanne Panos.
Love you dr😊😊😊
NJWAANAA, thanks for watching and commenting.
My son is almost 4, how can apply the consequence part on him? Please give me some examples. Thanks in advance
incony constanza, thank you for choosing to watch these videos as you strive to become a more positive parent. I have a popular video called, "Teaching Kids Responsibility - Positive Parenting," that you can watch here: th-cam.com/video/1SFIc2LsHyA/w-d-xo.html. I also have a Parenting Power-Up program has more in-depth ideas. You can purchase that here: www.parentingpowerup.com/optin-33156182. The consequence depends on what stage the child is in, so watching the Responsibility video will help you determine that.
I too have a 4yo that DOES. NOT. STOP. and he’s driving us absolutely bonkers. I’m not sure what to do because I feel like all we do is argue with him to behave or to just sit still for a moment.
Thankyou sooo much.. i am soooo having a difficult time with my 8 year old with undiagnosed condition which points to adhd. I am trying this and yes I am going to succeed..💯
Naila, you will! You are the parent your child needs.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thankyou for your immense support..without your videos and advise I was lost because I am literally alone with no body to encourage me or help me or advise me when I am having the more difficult days. I am trying to bring up my 2 children with no help from any family.. and I just want to Thank you for your encouragement and professional advise. Thankyou
How did it go?
How is he doing now ? Have you noticed change ?
What type of consequences ? Examples please
Vanessa Gough, natural consequences are best, like if not doing work, then having to stay in at recess or having to do the course during the summer. It is difficult to speak to individual circumstances. Brainstorm with another adult who knows your child.
Thank you. Sometimes I feel like I'm loosing my mind
Chisomo Nthinda, Hang in there, it should get better.
I have ADHD- I had to rewind at 2min because I realized I didn’t digest any information yet. 😵💫 it’s really exhausting honestly sometimes
I can see that. Glad you stick with it.
Stimulant medication has been a literal life saver for me, but i didn’t get to try it until adulthood. I would not give it to my son unless as a last resort. At least not before high school.
Tina Bean, thank you for sharing your experience.
This video has been really helpful to me. .thank you..I have a query. If I ask my 6 year old to clean up the toys, he would just say NO and run away. .what kind of consequences should I talk to him about. .I am otherwise most of the times threatening them to get things done
Pallavi Diwakar, remember to give them two choice, one that you control. Help with the toys or.... maybe it is I will pick them up and they are going in my room where you can't have them until you show you can pick up your things. Don't threaten or get mad, just state the facts and follow through.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you this is very helpful
Hardest thing ever...homeschooling 2 kids who have AHDH and mom has ADHD too 😞
sarahb4UNU, I hope there are a lot of brain breaks throughout the day.
With God all things are possible
I take a non-stimulant called Strattera because stimulants makes anxiety worse which is usually associated with ADHD. I've been trying to react unemotionally but its hard when dealing with a 4 year old boy who isn't responding to you when you call their name 100x...😆
Marlene Meier, It is difficult, I hope the videos are helpful for you.
You should make a video on parents with adhd raising kids with adhd.
Misty Denslow, I have seen where parents mention that they have ADHD and their kids also in the comments several time. Might have to think on this.
Ohhh tha smile 😄
KaterinaPieroua, glad you are a part of our community.
Why didn't they have these when I was diagnosed when I was 5 lol I have it and my child has it and this helps a lot!
Thank you for letting me know. Best to you and your child.
Love it it is fab
Thanks! Honored to be on your team!
Tq 👍
Thanks.
I believe that behavior management is the correct approach. Why? Because medications have profound and far-reaching effects on the brain. I watched my sister become a drug (legal of course) addict for treatment of her depression, and you can’t believe the havoc it has wreaked on her life. All this under the “watchful” eye of psychiatrists. Perhaps in some very, very rare circumstances medication is warranted, but we live in a pill pushing society. You’re far better off focusing on good nutrition, good sleep, good planning habits, good music (Mozart), and BEHAVIOR modification / cognitive therapies. Teaching your child to be kind and giving. Doctors need to focus more on those things and less on shoving pills (pills which have the great potential to do irrevocable, long-term damage to the brain) down kids’ throats.
Behavior management is my go to.
How about for toodlers what task should i give
Telesforo Joemarie, the best tasks for kids are the ones that affect their immediate environment. They learn by caring for themselves, their toys, their room. The younger they are, the more you will have to work alongside them.
What if its just paying attention and soaking in what people in your family are saying? I tend to get lost in my own thoughts while they're communicating with me. I also forget things they had just answered to me after the question I asked.
Micky S, Repeat what they say to you back in your head. That helps you be more present. Pretend like you will need to relay the information to someone else and that can help.
I have a 4 year old son who has ADHD but my doctor won't actually diagnose him until he's 7. Everyone I talk to has to tell me "is your son ADHD?" " Your son should go see this therapist.. and try that play therapist....and try karate....etc. People I'm his MOTHER!! I've tried everything. I struggle everyday. He's been kicked out of school. Currently playing T-ball but 45 min in he'll throw his glove down and just start running around the field or try taking the ball out of the pitchers hand. The parents stare and make conversation when I'm correcting him but it is EXHAUSTING!!!! Sometimes I want to scream at people. I let him deal with the consequences and other people try helping. It's hard. If you see someone's kid struggling don't think misbehaving and don't tell the parent you need to discipline them more. Spanking does not work for a child with ADHD. Sorry, rant over.
Perhaps another opinion from another doctor is in order to help you. It must be frustrating for your son also to be receiving negative feedback from people around him.
Can you please add some example for kids 4 year old? Maybe in the description section... hard to search in the comment
They are different for every child. Brainstorm with someone who knows the child.
Hi, what would be an example of task and consequences for a 6 year old?
Rich Andersen, hard to say since children are so different. A task might be picking up their toys or clearing the table after dinner. Consequences might be losing the toys that don't get picked up or not getting dessert.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thanks for the tip. Really love your videos. They have helped us so much and have become our go-to. Have also shared with a lot of friends. Very enjoyable to watch! Thankyou!
I am watching this as I have work for homeschooling but I don’t seem to focus
Destroyer, I hope it helps.
But which are the consequences? What would you suggest?
It depends on the child and is so difficult for me to say. If you have trouble thinking of something appropriate for your child, ask you family, or teachers who know your child and what makes them tick. It really needs to be personalized and I have not met your child, Miss Angel.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you, Dr. Paul. I admit, it is difficult to say, but I thought you could just give examples. He is a teenage boy. I believe, I still can do some good parenting. He needs do be handled firm or else he doesn't do anything at all. That is the exhausting part. 😉
I developed anger with my ADHD child, he is on medication but still don’t listen and focus, I tried diets and less sugars but nothing helps
He nags most of the time and he looks for attention all the time 🤦♀️ it’s not an easy journey
Thank you for watching, drawart277. There are different types and dosages of ADHD medication; maybe it is time to talk to his doctor again about adjusting one or both of those if you are not getting results. It is tough, and my heart goes out to you. Please consider watching any of the following videos to help you on your positive parenting journey:
"How To Help Kids With ADHD" - th-cam.com/video/wNqziiKyigY/w-d-xo.html
"Proven Natural Remedies For ADHD In Children" - th-cam.com/video/5IbWguzqgWo/w-d-xo.html
"How To Parent A Child With ADHD" - th-cam.com/video/Fgu-_me7TE4/w-d-xo.html
"Four Hacks For Rambunctious Kids" - th-cam.com/video/8TQa06L2yqU/w-d-xo.html
Because you said you have developed anger with your child, I compassionately recommend these videos:
"Anger Management For Mothers" - th-cam.com/video/_XBoeL1Q5jU/w-d-xo.html
"Anger Management For Mothers | 6 Thoughts To Replace" - th-cam.com/video/mSG32Rx0Ht4/w-d-xo.html
OMG! Me too. Before I had him I was calm and collected but since I had him he drives me nuts and I'm always mad because his behavior and his yelling drive me nuts. Medication doesn't help much.
Im facing the same issue
This was a discipline technique. How exactly was this supposed to help with focus?
smaflenna, have you tried it? It has helped some people that have used it.
Nordic natural omega 3 oils can help so.much. Has helped me and I just started my kids on it.
Thank you for the suggestion.
Hi dr paul!
I really need your advice.
My son is 7, hes in grade 1. The curriculum is pretty full on, he has always had learning issues, for example he only understood how to name colours at age 4. Theres no way he will learn something when he isnt ready, for example i tried to teach him letters from age 4 and he just couldnt get them until he was 6 and a half. He is reading now, but gets confused with b d g (i was the same and i was told i was dyslexic). Credit to him though, hes learning two languages.
He does great with a lot of study, he has exams in school and gets great marks with a lot of study. All of this is not a concern to me just a bit of background.
My problem is that sometimes he will know some thing then completely forget the entire concept. For example he is learning numbers to 99 and he knows them all. Writes them all fine. He then has to answer questions like "what number comes before/after 50" or "what number is 2 bigger than 50".
He was doing this fine, answering it all right, telling me how happy he was when hed get the tricky ones.
Then suddenly he forgot the whole concept. I ask him what comes after 49 and he tells me 59. What comes before 50 and hell tell me 40.
He does this wirh other things too. Ive noticed that with some things if i leave it and let him sleep and we try again the next day he remembers it all again. With thr maths i think im going to start from square 1 again.
Ive noticed that if he needs to memorize something he does better if its something he can visualise. Eg. He needed to know the boardering countries to our country and he retained them when i showed him the map and he read the names of the countries and read the words "north south east and west" next to them. Then when id ask him the question i actually saw him reading the words from his mind as if he was looking at the picture of the map in his mind, sounding out the letters.
I know u cant diagnose him, but should i be concerned? I know he has learning difficulties so i try to give him the extra attention that i didnt have as a child. Or is there more to it that i need to be aware of?? It blows my mind and im tell him "you knew this!!! U know how to do this we were doing it fine all week"! And i know hes giving it his all too.
Thanks for taking the time!
Umm Osayd, it sounds like you have worked with your son quite a bit to find out his learning style, good for you. He seems pretty young and it could be his brain development is trying to keep up with all the information coming into it. I wouldn't be too concerned yet. You could see if the school offers any testing for learning disabilities but they might not be able to catch on to what is happening at this young age.
My kid does the same. Less is best so they have time to process. I make sure there is plenty quiet relaxing times at end of each day because when there is too much going on they can get muddled or temporarily forget. Life is too fast sometimes and can make catching up or remembering more difficult. Some school's if you ask, they have educational psychologist to do an assessment on the child, reading, spelling etc that might pick something up and advise methods to help the child achieve their own goals. Some school's have special educational needs officer that you might be able to talk to about your concerns.
This is standard parenting, not tailored to a kid with ADHD. If consequences and daily expectations made a task ADHD-proof, no ADHD kid would ever struggle to focus on their homework. “Clean your room” may be within a certain kid’s capabilities, technically, but they may actually need an adult to break it down into steps, or help them. Maybe even with an offer of $5,000; we don’t know what our kids would suddenly be able to focus on if there were a reward being dangled, and what they still wouldn’t. Rewards and punishments don’t increase executive functioning, they don’t help a child focus. They might give a child a reason to do something if they have no other reason, like if you want your teenager’s room clean for some reason unknown to them, and they, the occupant, like it just the way it is. Well then you can “make it worth their while” by setting up some arbitrary external consequence. Now they actually have a reason to care, though not a natural one or one they can take with them. If they actually would like to clean their room if they could, or there is already some internal or external reason to actually do it, as there typically is with tasks that are actually important, the advice in this video is of no use.
David Greenspan, thank you for your comment.
Perfectly said ! Thank you 🙏 I was thinking this whole video , clearing this guy doesn’t understand how adhd affects the brain 🙄
Dr Paul, my son is in 6th grade and he doesn't take any meds for ADHD. His academic us pretty bad no matter how much help he got from school. He does very sloppy jobs , just get the hw done that's why teachers gives him low grades. He doesn't want me to help him at all, but his older sister helps him sometimes. Recently, he told me he doesn't really have friends because he doesn't do well at school. I want to ask you how i can help him improve his grade to C. I just can't imagine if he fails most of the class except P.E. At home, he does some chores too, very hard working boy. But when it comes to school work he doesn't want it, i don't want to push him too much on homework because he told me he hates school.
School might not be his thing, dnl1612. Having said that, he needs to get through and graduate so keep that in focus for him. As far as friends, what does he like to do? Can he connect with kids outside of school? When kids don't have school as their focus, they don't really think about grades.
Roughly 20% kids have dyslexia... Meaning it costs them a lot of mental effort to deal with text/reading and so they avoid it! Most kids go undiagnosed... Maybe find out more on the symptoms? It's a myth that dyslexia is writing backwards ... Not generally in the older grades ...
My son is 5yrs old . But his so very hyper . Like sometimes when u call him he dont listen , his always talking (about the games or videos he watch in youtube) he cant sit still. His not paying attention.. in school his always running , . He knows how to write , to read but when i told him to write his not paying attention.. what should i do?
Yasmine Facistol, talk to your doctor and talk to the school. It would be difficult without an evaluation to understand what your son is capable of doing.