This comment hit home hard. I have a neighbor who does it every other week or at the end of the month, like clockwork. We are both on fixed incomes, and she has many habits, like gambling, smoking, drinking, weed, and having company over to do all these things as well. I have come to really feel disrespected.
This Lady is TOTALLY right! I just went through this today (AGAIN)... I lend money to a female friend. I did a quick little "friendly follow up" over text... She took offense to it. We got into a big argument (over something so Stupid, miniscule, and mi-NUTE)... And she blew up, CUT ME OFF as a friend, and told me: "Now, I'M NOT going to PAY YOU BACK!", and Blocked me... Smh L&R... It was SO ridiculous... I'm just like... Smh L&R (and I'm pretty “evolved and conscious” actually.) The minute you lend money, you have CHANGED the Dynamic of that Relationship.
@@GranTube These days I choose wisely. I am very charitable and give money when it’s unexpected and help people I care about especially when they are doin it tough
so true I have a friend just chat me when he needs money but he use it to gambling. there is a time that I want to lend money with him and it is so important he has a money on that but he refuse, Now. Ive learned to myself not to lend him again never, he just ping me againto lend I always say I dont have a money. He is not a true friend.
@@janerhysybilcaralos253 yeah, you should have dropped him as soon as he started his gambling habit. I don't lend money to anyone anymore, I know that if I lend money I would have not only changed the friendship forever but also the person.
Yes I just lent what I thought was a good friend ten thousand dollars when I came into some money . I had a promissory note made up which he dragged his feet on and played dumb . I told him I knew he had a bad financial situation and knew he may be late sometimes with payments . He hadn’t made one payment and it looks like I’m gonna have to take legal action . This was based on my ignorance and wanting to be liked . The dynamic has totally changed like she said . He knows better than to bully me because I m pretty sure I can take him in a fight but he changes the subject a lot and there’s always a hardship in his life where he can’t do it of coarse . This was supposed to get him out of debt and he’s already back in debt . This was a ten thousand dollar mistake but a lesson well learned . Thank you for posting .
@@roberthatch6230 Sorry to hear that. I've also lent money to friends and an ex of mine. Working as a hair stylist I have offered to do my friends hair as they've had to call or message to cancel because they haven't had the money at the time for whatever reason. I should have said ' OK let me know when your ready ' but I tried to be a good friend as it doesn't feel right to cancel too. Honestly 9 times out of ten I have been ghosted or lied to everyday. It hurts and it keeps me awake at night so can't imagine how you must feel especially when your so close to someone it can ruin lives.
Exactly what happened to me. I loaned someone who I thought was a friend money, I never saw my money ever again. He was full of excuses and we fell out over it. I swore never to do that again BUT I did do it again. Just recently another friend hit me up for $50 and that blew out to $300 over the course of 2 weeks. So now the relationship has soured. I never ever ask anyone for money. Now I feel like an idiot for doing it
People who want you to loan them money are broke all the time, they don't have a stable job, they are lazy and irresponsible and when they do get a job they'll get fired fast, in fact you shouldn't even be friends with those type of people.
Unless you have no heart to help or be generous with your $$$ to anyone in need DON'T FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT it happened to most of us! When they want your $$$ they will tell you anything you wanna hear "Your my brother(my best friend)"/"Pay you back when I get paid(or in a week)"/"I'm always there for you(take care of you)" and so on ESPECIALLY when they are in desperate need of financial help(or act like they do) we just wanna be that good friend and help them if we can but little do we know they would punk out on us that just shows you what kind of person they are and their true character same applies to family and relatives so don't feel so bad we've all(well most) have experienced it believe me I've been their many times I've lost so many friends helping them when they need my $$$ they all says the same thing they'll pay me back but they NEVER DO! Take it as a lesson learned but if you ever lend $$$ to a friend again(or anyone you know) for whatever reason and still wanna keep that friend only hope to get it back someday but DON'T EXPECT IT BACK just consider it a gift that way you won't feel as bad or like an idiot again. The most I would do for them is if they're hungry I'll buy them something to eat but THAT'S IT NOTHING MORE!!!
Banks lend. People don't. People consider their borrowing from you as a free handout. They do not intend to pay you back. If they keep asking then they don't even like you and think you are a sucker.
I am a professional.. I work 5 days a week to get my salary. I get annoyed and irritated when a few of my friends who don't work , just sit and enjoy their life, gossip, keep sticking to their phones come around and ask money. It has become a daily thing. So frustrated and annoyed with this. Even if I ignore their calls they keep on calling. And the most annoying this is that.. once i say no...they would disappear for a few days and come back again asking money. This process is repeated.
Once a friends asks you for money the relationship is screwed either way because if you say no they’re gonna question the friendship and if you say yes they’ll never pay you back. But in the end the fact that they’re in debt is not your problem so screw them if they don’t want to talk to you.
friend asked me for 1.4k for the apartment he was moving out of and already paid money for new apartment. It takes 5 business days to get money from financial advisor (He has 500k he inherited) and i told him just tell them to take security deposit and be done with it. we went back and forth with that and i said i am not lending him the money! I didn't agree with what he was gonna do with it anyways (not like that made a difference still wouldn't lend him anyways) so he got off phone asked other friend and he lent to him. He paid him back but i aint risking losing 1.4k
I've been in this situation for quite a while and I'm now finally putting an end to it. I've heard the phrase "I'll pay you back" so many times but haven't gotten one cent back. They think they're entitled to YOUR money.
Yup. They won't take a pt time job, read financial literacy books or learn to budget. They just wanna borrow without paying it back and find reasons to justify when you confront them about it. If giving them money will hurt you financially don't do it. No matter who it is.
Yes it’s sooo true! And then get an attitude dont call you or not even text back….act like you did something to them! And you have a lot of nerves to ask somebody for money and they make more than you!, And that person just lost their job too?! That’s low and sickening!
hmmm this hit home espcially the part about giving money to feel good and come out as a hero. I think am guilty of that one and its causing many frustrations and false friends.
I started lending siblings money out of love and faith and all I ever received back was disrespect (by the lies they made up to suck me financially dry) getting yelled at (for not wanting to give them more money) and being abandoned by not wanting to return the money .
@@natural3362 Lets say you buy a car. You can't get a loan to get that car the bank or car dealership won't give you money cause your credit is bad. The only way to get the loan is if a friend, family member, or whoever co-sign so you can get the loan and the car. You would be making payments toward the car (ie. paying back loan from bank/dealership) but guess what....if that person don't make the payments? who are they gonna go to? the friend or family member that co-signed. So now you own credit could be screwed and you gotta deal with all this bullshit and somehow gotta pay for the car thats not even yours and meanwhile you talk to your friend/family member you co signed with and they full of excuses or ghosting you. so long story short it's a headache X10 with more weight of responsibility on your shoulders and would damage your credit. if they have bad credit to begin with and only way to get a loan is by co-signing. There must be a reason why their credit was really bad to begin with. Don't let the poison affect you.
I once lent money to a friend in Mexico that needed money for three days in order to buy medicine for his dying aunt. It was a really stressful decision but I decided to trust him. He paid me back three days later. One thing to take into consideration is that Mexico is largely an honor society, family values are the glue that hold the social fabric together. My friend did not ask me for the money without his family’s knowledge, the entire family was asking for the emergency loan, and I knew their family honor was worth more to them than the money. Im here now because my best friend just asked me for money. I suspect his wife and mother don’t know. I told him I’d gladly lend the money with the permission and blessings of his mom, who is the matriarch of a large extended family.
Actually the relationship changed the moment the person asked for a loan. A better idea is to have the talk before the question about loaning money comes up. E.g., ask your friend or family member what their thoughts are about loaning money to friends or family and make sure both understand they aren't to ask.
IT IS WHAT KIDS AND PARENTS DO NOT KNOW U KNOW WHY SO MANY PEOPLE ARE BROKE THEY CANNOT USE THEIR OWN ACCOUNTS THEIR OWN MONEY AND LIKE IT WAS IF FULLY CONTROLLED BY A WIFE HUSBAND WHOEVER IS SMARTER GET'S THE CONTROL OF IT MONEY WHY MONEY U LEND
If someone ask me to borrow money I ask them I got some jobs I need done the rate is $10 hr,. They always say no. They just won't to borrow. That's how I get rid of them.
My brother drained me with non stop money requests, until I yelled at him while mom also picked my side. He didn't call me for the next eight months. Up to that point he called me sweetly and stressed how he regretted how he always asked for money. Right after the apology he just happened to need some money. After giving him the money another incident of needing money followed up. And that's where I hung up during the second call. Isn't it always fishy how their money problems are way too long and detailed. They do that on purpose which will make you lose track of the story, because they don't have real money problems. It takes a few words to utter what's going when you're really in trouble.
When people refuse to lend money one may think they are selfish and don’t like to help people. Wrong! Coz people that borrow like to abuse. People are more likely to value the money more than the person. My advice is don’t give money to anyone unless your giving them a gift or charity.
Soon as you lend money or give credit to someone you never hear from them they avoid your calls or msgs they get aggressive when you ask them for your money back People that borrow never have money They may have issues gambling drug’s drinking or just tight and don’t like spending their own money
My wife opened a joint account with a sibling several years ago. There was nothing I could do to stop her. She recently abandoned me suddenly and moved in with her mother. Absolutely mind boggling since no warning was there and no discussion. Like getting blind sided. Stops communicating. Then I find in a file that she loaned out $55,000 to that sibling. An agreement without any repayment terms. Just an acknowledgment. Now I’m served separation papers by a lawyer! What she doesn’t realize is that she must devulge all her accounts under oath. Mental illness is at play too, I should mention. Beware people . It can happen to you too
A friend of mine would group text his family or friends for money even though he didn't need it. He actually did it on purpose so they would think he was broke and wouldn't ask him. He wouldn't take the money if someone offered either
I had a lifelong friend who was starting a coffee and chocolate shop. He knew his stuff and his products were exceptional. At the time I was doing graphic design and desktop publishing. I told him I would do everything (we did it together) from logo design to menus, signs, etc. pro bono as I wanted to help him and it was also good experience for me. I told him if the place succeeded he could pay me whatever he wanted, otherwise forget it. Instead he INSISTED on writing me a promissory note for $2500. The business failed and my good friend hasn't talked to me since 1995. My dad told me 40+ years ago your advice re lending and I tried to take it. I should have never accepted the promissory note.
I shouldn't have given money to my coworker... I pitied her because she was a poor single mom. Recently she got a bf, got pregnant again (in like 3months),and now he left her. I should cut ties with her because I'm sure she's gonna ask for more money, as a single mom of 2
We have a friend who went around asking for loan but will settle for a gift. Start with 10k but will settle at 2k. Quite a hi level of success knowing that they can hinge on emotion of the lenders. They would ignore whatever financial lessons you send them years ahead.
THIS IS WHY CHINA IS GOOD THEY DO NOT EXPECTCT U TO PAY BACK AS KIDS UNTIL U ARE ALL GROWN UP KNOW HOW TO MAKE YOUR MONEY DO NOT THINK ONE MINUTE YOUR PARENTS WANT RED ENVOLOPE WITH MONEY JUST BECAUSE OF IT IS A GIFT OR NOT FOR INSTANCE STOP LENDING YOUR KIDS FRIENDS STRANGERS MONEY IS IT NOT SIMPLE
I loaned money to a coworker in the past to help out their relatives. As soon as, I was expecting to be repaid (as agreed) I was immediately made out to be the bad guy. When I finally was repaid ( less than agreed) I was scorned. I let it go; time passed. I loaned again, as the same person had been out of the country, not working and seemed to be in a bind. I feel like a fool and am now, presently, awaiting the aftermath 🙄 fml never. again.
A friend of mine has just asked to borrow $200 but I have decided the answer from me will be no. Over my life time I have lost hundreds of dollars by "lending" and have never been paid back. I feel this particular friend has failed to take the steps necessary to change the course in her life that will enable her to be in a better place with her finances.
I once knew a guy who would borrow money from people ,and then said I am not going to pay them back ,when I asked him why not he said because they haven't asked me for it back , so you help someone like him and it causes you problems in time and effort trying to get the money back
My ex called me to lend him $600 for rent. I suggested to get a cash advance. He said he didn’t want to be in hole. Then telling me we got history. Yet he got a new woman “dentist” so I told him call your new woman not me. I don’t lend money at all no way no how. I learned from previous years people like to ask but when is time to pay back they either block you or don’t pay you at all. No thank you not trying to be a sucker. Call the bank!!! Great video 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I fell into this trap as well, i thought i had a great friend then when she started constantly asking me for money, to the point she was making up stories like her family was in hospital to get it thats when i thought hang on this is not right so i contacted her family and found out it was all false which basically made her a scammer and when i confronted her about it she instantly blocked me, luckily it was spare money but taught me a hard lesson
I have a simple rule I make very clear to the person: 'If you don't pay me back on the day you say you wil without me having to chase you for it then I will never let you borrow money again' Sure they can ghost you (Happened to me once) but I find most people want to uphold the possibility of borrowing from you again so they pay back on the day.
Love yourself first. When you done, then ask yourself this question again whether they love you enough to put you into the position for asking for a loan. I hate being guilty, i really do but I hate it more when people take things for granted! You want money? Go f- earn it.
What annoys me about borrowers: they get annoyed when asked for it back, they act surprised for being asked for it back and some even deny that they borrowed.
I don't believe in money lending, I just believe in giving. It's not money I end up giving to friends, but buying them something as a Birthday or Christmas gift or just returning a favor.
This Lady is TOTALLY right! I just went through this today (AGAIN)... I lend money to a female friend. I did a quick little "friendly follow up" over text... She took offense to it. We got into a big argument (over something so Stupid, miniscule, and mi-NUTE)... And she blew up, CUT ME OFF as a friend, and told me: "Now, I'M NOT going to PAY YOU BACK!", and Blocked me... Smh L&R... It was SO ridiculous... I'm just like... Smh L&R (and I'm pretty “evolved and conscious” actually.) The minute you lend money, you have CHANGED the Dynamic of that Relationship.
Brilliant ...just discovered you..So Beautiful and Intelligent! I agree...money is a very very powerful energy...A gift is the way to go I totally agree.....Greetings from NYC Chris Rocco
I never lend money to my brother anymore, because he is making bad choices, and I never ask anyone for money unless I have no choice, but I will always find a way to pay them back.
Yes lending money to people it cause problems. I can’t lend money to my brother. He sucks at paying people back. People had to wait for months for him to pay it all back to them as well as me.
I lent someone money. They were my cousin I grew up with. Never paid back. He has 2 more kids since I lent him money and I have seen them gone to Disneyland for a week but when I ask for the moey back, always an excuse. Oh I had cancer...
Lending to Friends and Family should be the last resort, the relative have to be unemployed suddenly, dead broke to a extreme..Always give them advice to get it from other sources like driving for Uber, Lyft, Door Dash or Payday loan should be their plan B..
My internet provider guy showed up at my door asking for money for his personal reasons. I clearly denied giving him any. He told he has EMI pending and shit. I wasn't bothered. **You should never ask your customers for money** Period. If you can't get your finances straight better sell what you can't pay off. It's that simple. People wanna hold on to belongings they can't pay off for, bloody fools.
I had a friend that did the same and would pay me back with interest, but it still made me anxious lending out that much money and the $50 I made from the loan wasn't worth the stress of him possibly disappearing with my money.
My friend has a job but he lives with his roommate and they barely come by...i offered him some money because i hate to see and hear him in a state where he doesnt have anything to eat...
Some friends return the money without even reminding them back but some never return even after continuously reminding them. Every time they come up with some excuses or stories. Do they even have self-respect for themselves. Totally cheap mentality. I'm financially not so stable and still lend some money to some friends out of pity and kindness but they turn the deaf ears while asking them to return. Whatever my conditions are I never ask for money from someone rather I dwell in my own necessities. I will never lend money to those kinds of people ever in my life. It only gives the mental trauma.
I really feel you friend. Now i am succesful in life a d they all come to me can you borrow me this and that? I stay away from people like that. Its indeed draining.
My friend was in trouble just a week ago and she was crying about her expenses to me. I was listening to her and then she suddenly made a remark that not even a single friend even said that they would lent her money indirectly pointing it on me because I was listening to her loss but didn't said that I could help . After that things changed she barely talks to me even if she does all she does is make taunts about friends who backstab who are selfish. In my opinion the amount she wanted was huge and i couldn't help her with that also she never asked me so why would I lent her money , still this whole thing makes me feel bad that our friendship is now ruined
I am a minor, my parents are far away from me due to their work and i am living by myself the thing is, im still relying on my family member when it comes to receiving money from my parents because the retailer ask for a valid id before i receive the payment mostly because they dont accept students id. My relatives are the one who's with me for valid id ,Half of myself consider it safety and half of it tells me im prone for "borrow money", then one day my mother send me 5000 and my relatives heard about it and they wanted to borrow 500 from me , the reason is absurd and vague since they said its for the chickens foods because they are cultivating chicken and they ran out of stock. I will not gave out a very whole detail but i am concerned on how should i manage ,avoid and be responsible to the money i have against the people who are borrowing my financial money support? Please help me
Mam , i just went through randomly to your video , Guess what ???? I have been thinking & trying to figure out the same issue you are talking about. I am right now stuck among people who just keep eye on my money. No matter they are friends , family or acquaintance. I wonder , am i a kind heart person or am i the only good or stupid person they ever come across. If i tell you about myself i am kind of person who would never do shopping almost for a year when not needed. People dont let you know. May be the video you made answer my mind's complexities. Are we responsible for the deficiency of money for others ? I feel guilty some times. Cant moving on saving coz eyes are there. I feel this world is a material and i am the only human lending money to others & never asked for a return back ! Irony
you sound like a good person, just say no to ppl asking you for money, they don't deserve it. You are NOT responsible for there failures and finances. good luck :)
Catarina Reis Thanks for giving me a relief. At least there are some people like you who understand what i meant :) Initially i believed that it's our duty to help others when God makes you capable enough but what i concluded people become habitual. I will consider your view. God bless you Catarina.
At working and deaf friends want borrow money from me and I wonder why person ask for lend me for?! Think I am too nice or weak link something else?! I never lend anyone in my life. Why me?
When a person got his/her credit card for the first time, some people think that he/she is rich and then they are start asking for money to a person. I really don't like hearing the word "rich" because it makes uncomfortable when they think that the person has lots of money.😒😑
Waiting for my $1000 from my father in law, as he had taken for his business purpose and had told that he will return soon. It's been 7 months now. He doesn't talk abt it. M in such a weird situation now, can't even ask for it and keep smiling everytime we meet. How to handle this situation? Had told this to my wife recently.. n she's like "would you ever take money back from your own father if he had taken it?" Now that's really complicated for me. Should I move on and never think of that money ?
If you take the emotion out of the decision making, you would NEVER lend anyone money. Because if you’re low/middle income you really can’t afford to lend money. If you’re rich/wealthy you’re obviously smart enough to not be frivolous with your money! 🤷🏻♂️
Usually I would test the waters. Like half or a little portion of the amount. If they don't pay back then I guess that's the red flag the next time they ask. There shouldn't be a next time btw.
Will never ever do that. If I lend money to someone for eg. $1000 I expect it to be paid back to me in the same total of $1000 and not $100 at a time untill it's fully paid up. I ain't a bank, cos you won't like the interest I add on top of what is owed if any.
You always true I was Loans to my mom and she’s The true when I need a moneys I Borrowed in my Bank but my mother Borrowed my no paid at and she’s wanted to take my Daughter to Against me so what’s can I do?
hey my nanny borrow abt like money from me 2 times and have not returned it??? she also said dont tell my mom cause she shy. she said she doesn’t have money but my dad gave her.
I DEPEND ON WHAT I COULD BUY BUT STILL I NOW DO NOT EXPECT MUCH I KNOW I CANNOT GET WHAT I WANT UNLESS I HAVE MY OWN MONEY THAT IS ALSO GOT TO BE ENOUGH
So I’m actually very financially sound and have a good house and a nice car I paid for in cash. One of my friends is always struggling financially and recently asked me to lend her $1,000. I don’t mind giving it to her as a gift entirely with no expectation of repayment, but I’m afraid this will open to the door for her to continue asking for more going forward. Is it better to just decline now even though I want to help her?
I do this often you become the go to person. Now I feel like others are taking advantage of me. I have to find a way to say NO !! to Everyone I see them doing everything with there money. Bad mistake I started
![How to Say No When Someone Asks for Financial (Debt) Help [Panel Discussion]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/IR-aWJcxIMU/mqdefault.jpg)
Lending money, especially to friends, is one way to find out their respect (or lack thereof) for you. A lesson learned.
Awesome
This comment hit home hard. I have a neighbor who does it every other week or at the end of the month, like clockwork. We are both on fixed incomes, and she has many habits, like gambling, smoking, drinking, weed, and having company over to do all these things as well. I have come to really feel disrespected.
This Lady is TOTALLY right! I just went through this today (AGAIN)... I lend money to a female friend. I did a quick little "friendly follow up" over text... She took offense to it. We got into a big argument (over something so Stupid, miniscule, and mi-NUTE)... And she blew up, CUT ME OFF as a friend, and told me: "Now, I'M NOT going to PAY YOU BACK!", and Blocked me... Smh L&R... It was SO ridiculous... I'm just like... Smh L&R (and I'm pretty “evolved and conscious” actually.) The minute you lend money, you have CHANGED the Dynamic of that Relationship.
My dad always said, if you lend money, most times, you will loose money and a friend
Good vid
It's like you paid to unsubscribe to their friendship.
Unless you don't expect nor ask to get the money back you will keep the friend
@@GranTube These days I choose wisely. I am very charitable and give money when it’s unexpected and help people I care about especially when they are doin it tough
@@CGV.69your dad is wise. Because the friend is incapable of giving back the money so they have to end the relationship
@@natural3362 yes, its happened to me.
Someone that borrows money is either a scrounger or just bad with money and unwilling to make sacrifices and changes to their lifestyle.
If only life was that simple.
@@zakimerxero3771 which it isn't and is something many people refuse to understand.
so true I have a friend just chat me when he needs money but he use it to gambling. there is a time that I want to lend money with him and it is so important he has a money on that but he refuse, Now. Ive learned to myself not to lend him again never, he just ping me againto lend I always say I dont have a money. He is not a true friend.
Facts
@@janerhysybilcaralos253 yeah, you should have dropped him as soon as he started his gambling habit. I don't lend money to anyone anymore, I know that if I lend money I would have not only changed the friendship forever but also the person.
They always borrow and have some story about why they cannot pay you back. Always some story
You're lucky if there is a story, sometimes there is ghosting
Exactly
Yes I just lent what I thought was a good friend ten thousand dollars when I came into some money . I had a promissory note made up which he dragged his feet on and played dumb . I told him I knew he had a bad financial situation and knew he may be late sometimes with payments . He hadn’t made one payment and it looks like I’m gonna have to take legal action . This was based on my ignorance and wanting to be liked . The dynamic has totally changed like she said . He knows better than to bully me because I m pretty sure I can take him in a fight but he changes the subject a lot and there’s always a hardship in his life where he can’t do it of coarse . This was supposed to get him out of debt and he’s already back in debt . This was a ten thousand dollar mistake but a lesson well learned . Thank you for posting .
@@roberthatch6230 Sorry to hear that. I've also lent money to friends and an ex of mine. Working as a hair stylist I have offered to do my friends hair as they've had to call or message to cancel because they haven't had the money at the time for whatever reason. I should have said ' OK let me know when your ready ' but I tried to be a good friend as it doesn't feel right to cancel too.
Honestly 9 times out of ten I have been ghosted or lied to everyday. It hurts and it keeps me awake at night so can't imagine how you must feel especially when your so close to someone it can ruin lives.
Sometimes they just block you. But little do they know there is something called KARMA!!
A lot of times they have money to pay you back but don't pay back because they see themselves losing money not paying someone back.
Yes :) there are better ways for you to help someone out
😂😂😂
Exactly what happened to me. I loaned someone who I thought was a friend money, I never saw my money ever again. He was full of excuses and we fell out over it. I swore never to do that again BUT I did do it again. Just recently another friend hit me up for $50 and that blew out to $300 over the course of 2 weeks. So now the relationship has soured. I never ever ask anyone for money. Now I feel like an idiot for doing it
People who want you to loan them money are broke all the time, they don't have a stable job, they are lazy and irresponsible and when they do get a job they'll get fired fast, in fact you shouldn't even be friends with those type of people.
Have you finally learned the right lesson?
I lost around 300 and who I thought was a friend as well. Money and friends come and go unfortunately.
Yea you is lol
Unless you have no heart to help or be generous with your $$$ to anyone in need DON'T FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT it happened to most of us! When they want your $$$ they will tell you anything you wanna hear "Your my brother(my best friend)"/"Pay you back when I get paid(or in a week)"/"I'm always there for you(take care of you)" and so on ESPECIALLY when they are in desperate need of financial help(or act like they do) we just wanna be that good friend and help them if we can but little do we know they would punk out on us that just shows you what kind of person they are and their true character same applies to family and relatives so don't feel so bad we've all(well most) have experienced it believe me I've been their many times I've lost so many friends helping them when they need my $$$ they all says the same thing they'll pay me back but they NEVER DO! Take it as a lesson learned but if you ever lend $$$ to a friend again(or anyone you know) for whatever reason and still wanna keep that friend only hope to get it back someday but DON'T EXPECT IT BACK just consider it a gift that way you won't feel as bad or like an idiot again. The most I would do for them is if they're hungry I'll buy them something to eat but THAT'S IT NOTHING MORE!!!
Banks lend. People don't. People consider their borrowing from you as a free handout. They do not intend to pay you back. If they keep asking then they don't even like you and think you are a sucker.
Agree 100% i stay far away from people like that. It can be also coworkers
I am a professional.. I work 5 days a week to get my salary. I get annoyed and irritated when a few of my friends who don't work , just sit and enjoy their life, gossip, keep sticking to their phones come around and ask money. It has become a daily thing. So frustrated and annoyed with this. Even if I ignore their calls they keep on calling. And the most annoying this is that.. once i say no...they would disappear for a few days and come back again asking money. This process is repeated.
Show them my comment..get the fuck away from my friend Rahman TV..if i see you again near him you are dead.
Block
Fuck em
Change your friends or you will regret grown people should not be begging but should be able to work for what they want
Block them
How about avoiding such people in the first place. A good friend never does that.
Once a friends asks you for money the relationship is screwed either way because if you say no they’re gonna question the friendship and if you say yes they’ll never pay you back. But in the end the fact that they’re in debt is not your problem so screw them if they don’t want to talk to you.
friend asked me for 1.4k for the apartment he was moving out of and already paid money for new apartment. It takes 5 business days to get money from financial advisor (He has 500k he inherited) and i told him just tell them to take security deposit and be done with it.
we went back and forth with that
and i said i am not lending him the money! I didn't agree with what he was gonna do with it anyways (not like that made a difference still wouldn't lend him anyways)
so he got off phone asked other friend and he lent to him.
He paid him back
but i aint risking losing 1.4k
Become that competent so that you never have to ask money from anyone. Start saving from a young age.
Learned few days ago: lent money, don`t expect to have it back. this video is so inspiring, thank you
I've been in this situation for quite a while and I'm now finally putting an end to it. I've heard the phrase "I'll pay you back" so many times but haven't gotten one cent back. They think they're entitled to YOUR money.
Yup. They won't take a pt time job, read financial literacy books or learn to budget. They just wanna borrow without paying it back and find reasons to justify when you confront them about it. If giving them money will hurt you financially don't do it. No matter who it is.
Yes it’s sooo true! And then get an attitude dont call you or not even text back….act like you did something to them! And you have a lot of nerves to ask somebody for money and they make more than you!, And that person just lost their job too?! That’s low and sickening!
hmmm this hit home espcially the part about giving money to feel good and come out as a hero. I think am guilty of that one and its causing many frustrations and false friends.
same here and at the end of the day you are blead dry and then realize nobody could ever have been there for you
This video is helping me with getting over being cheated because I lent some money and became obsessed after realizing it wasn't a good idea
The thing is ,I gave him money and once I stopped to give ,got mad by saying that I am selfish and I don't care about him Well ,a man isn't my child
I started lending siblings money out of love and faith and all I ever received back was disrespect (by the lies they made up to suck me financially dry) getting yelled at (for not wanting to give them more money) and being abandoned by not wanting to return the money .
This has just recently happened to my mom.
Me too. I feel so bad
What I’ve learned over the last few years: borrow money, don’t lend money, and never co-sign for someone.
True, never co-sign.
What's a co-sign?
@@natural3362 Lets say you buy a car. You can't get a loan to get that car the bank or car dealership won't give you money cause your credit is bad. The only way to get the loan is if a friend, family member, or whoever co-sign so you can get the loan and the car. You would be making payments toward the car (ie. paying back loan from bank/dealership) but guess what....if that person don't make the payments? who are they gonna go to?
the friend or family member that co-signed. So now you own credit could be screwed and you gotta deal with all this bullshit and somehow gotta pay for the car thats not even yours and meanwhile you talk to your friend/family member you co signed with and they full of excuses or ghosting you.
so long story short it's a headache X10 with more weight of responsibility on your shoulders and would damage your credit.
if they have bad credit to begin with and only way to get a loan is by co-signing. There must be a reason why their credit was really bad to begin with. Don't let the poison affect you.
I once lent money to a friend in Mexico that needed money for three days in order to buy medicine for his dying aunt. It was a really stressful decision but I decided to trust him. He paid me back three days later.
One thing to take into consideration is that Mexico is largely an honor society, family values are the glue that hold the social fabric together. My friend did not ask me for the money without his family’s knowledge, the entire family was asking for the emergency loan, and I knew their family honor was worth more to them than the money.
Im here now because my best friend just asked me for money. I suspect his wife and mother don’t know. I told him I’d gladly lend the money with the permission and blessings of his mom, who is the matriarch of a large extended family.
Ahh I will have to use that one
Actually the relationship changed the moment the person asked for a loan. A better idea is to have the talk before the question about loaning money comes up. E.g., ask your friend or family member what their thoughts are about loaning money to friends or family and make sure both understand they aren't to ask.
IT IS WHAT KIDS AND PARENTS DO NOT KNOW U KNOW WHY SO MANY PEOPLE ARE BROKE THEY CANNOT USE THEIR OWN ACCOUNTS THEIR OWN MONEY AND LIKE IT WAS IF FULLY CONTROLLED BY A WIFE HUSBAND WHOEVER IS SMARTER GET'S THE CONTROL OF IT MONEY WHY MONEY U LEND
If someone ask me to borrow money I ask them I got some jobs I need done the rate is $10 hr,. They always say no. They just won't to borrow. That's how I get rid of them.
If you give as a gift then people will always expect a gift
My brother drained me with non stop money requests, until I yelled at him while mom also picked my side. He didn't call me for the next eight months. Up to that point he called me sweetly and stressed how he regretted how he always asked for money. Right after the apology he just happened to need some money. After giving him the money another incident of needing money followed up. And that's where I hung up during the second call. Isn't it always fishy how their money problems are way too long and detailed. They do that on purpose which will make you lose track of the story, because they don't have real money problems. It takes a few words to utter what's going when you're really in trouble.
Instead of hanging up on him tell him grow up get a job work for what he want to provide for himself
When people refuse to lend money one may think they are selfish and don’t like to help people. Wrong! Coz people that borrow like to abuse. People are more likely to value the money more than the person. My advice is don’t give money to anyone unless your giving them a gift or charity.
Soon as you lend money or give credit to someone you never hear from them they avoid your calls or msgs they get aggressive when you ask them for your money back
People that borrow never have money
They may have issues gambling drug’s drinking or just tight and don’t like spending their own money
My wife opened a joint account with a sibling several years ago. There was nothing I could do to stop her. She recently abandoned me suddenly and moved in with her mother. Absolutely mind boggling since no warning was there and no discussion. Like getting blind sided. Stops communicating. Then I find in a file that she loaned out $55,000 to that sibling. An agreement without any repayment terms. Just an acknowledgment. Now I’m served separation papers by a lawyer! What she doesn’t realize is that she must devulge all her accounts under oath. Mental illness is at play too, I should mention. Beware people . It can happen to you too
A friend of mine would group text his family or friends for money even though he didn't need it. He actually did it on purpose so they would think he was broke and wouldn't ask him. He wouldn't take the money if someone offered either
I have helped them several times since last 3 years but they are still taking advantage and keep asking for money.
Block them
Yes, I m also guilty of keeping people relying on me 😔😔😔😔
I had a lifelong friend who was starting a coffee and chocolate shop. He knew his stuff and his products were exceptional. At the time I was doing graphic design and desktop publishing. I told him I would do everything (we did it together) from logo design to menus, signs, etc. pro bono as I wanted to help him and it was also good experience for me. I told him if the place succeeded he could pay me whatever he wanted, otherwise forget it. Instead he INSISTED on writing me a promissory note for $2500. The business failed and my good friend hasn't talked to me since 1995. My dad told me 40+ years ago your advice re lending and I tried to take it. I should have never accepted the promissory note.
I shouldn't have given money to my coworker... I pitied her because she was a poor single mom. Recently she got a bf, got pregnant again (in like 3months),and now he left her. I should cut ties with her because I'm sure she's gonna ask for more money, as a single mom of 2
She deserves to be broke
We have a friend who went around asking for loan but will settle for a gift. Start with 10k but will settle at 2k. Quite a hi level of success knowing that they can hinge on emotion of the lenders. They would ignore whatever financial lessons you send them years ahead.
THIS IS WHY CHINA IS GOOD THEY DO NOT EXPECTCT U TO PAY BACK AS KIDS UNTIL U ARE ALL GROWN UP KNOW HOW TO MAKE YOUR MONEY DO NOT THINK ONE MINUTE YOUR PARENTS WANT RED ENVOLOPE WITH MONEY JUST BECAUSE OF IT IS A GIFT OR NOT FOR INSTANCE STOP LENDING YOUR KIDS FRIENDS STRANGERS MONEY IS IT NOT SIMPLE
I always say I don't have it. Period.
Yes even if it’s a lie
@@mercedeswilkins9085 , We don't owe it anyone to be transparent about what we have or don't have.
😂😂😂😂
I loaned money to a coworker in the past to help out their relatives. As soon as, I was expecting to be repaid (as agreed) I was immediately made out to be the bad guy. When I finally was repaid ( less than agreed) I was scorned. I let it go; time passed. I loaned again, as the same person had been out of the country, not working and seemed to be in a bind. I feel like a fool and am now, presently, awaiting the aftermath 🙄 fml never. again.
Take it as a learning curve - you have at least learned out of this experience
😂😂😂
A friend of mine has just asked to borrow $200 but I have decided the answer from me will be no. Over my life time I have lost hundreds of dollars by "lending" and have never been paid back. I feel this particular friend has failed to take the steps necessary to change the course in her life that will enable her to be in a better place with her finances.
I once knew a guy who would borrow money from people ,and then said I am not going to pay them back ,when I asked him why not he said because they haven't asked me for it back , so you help someone like him and it causes you problems in time and effort trying to get the money back
Lending money friends means we lost one more friend
I was searching for this topic and have to genuinely compliment you yhe way you describes the topic in the video. Thank you 😊
My ex called me to lend him $600 for rent. I suggested to get a cash advance. He said he didn’t want to be in hole. Then telling me we got history. Yet he got a new woman “dentist” so I told him call your new woman not me. I don’t lend money at all no way no how. I learned from previous years people like to ask but when is time to pay back they either block you or don’t pay you at all. No thank you not trying to be a sucker. Call the bank!!! Great video 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I neither borrow nor lend
You got it 👍🏾
Yes
As they say you should never mix business and pleasure
Yes I am facing same problem when my friend asked money I blocked them or I deactivate my social media
I'm learning rn and it's really hard smh
Don’t allow adults to use you as a bank. 🏦
Great respect to this women. what she said is 100% correct in my opinion
I can totally relate. I wanted to be seen as a hero as helper coming to someones rescue well that didnt get me far... Never got my money back.
I fell into this trap as well, i thought i had a great friend then when she started constantly asking me for money, to the point she was making up stories like her family was in hospital to get it thats when i thought hang on this is not right so i contacted her family and found out it was all false which basically made her a scammer and when i confronted her about it she instantly blocked me, luckily it was spare money but taught me a hard lesson
I have a simple rule I make very clear to the person: 'If you don't pay me back on the day you say you wil without me having to chase you for it then I will never let you borrow money again' Sure they can ghost you (Happened to me once) but I find most people want to uphold the possibility of borrowing from you again so they pay back on the day.
Love yourself first. When you done, then ask yourself this question again whether they love you enough to put you into the position for asking for a loan. I hate being guilty, i really do but I hate it more when people take things for granted! You want money? Go f- earn it.
Yes, it is a learning curve... :)
What if you get interest out of it ? Would you still not loan it ?
What annoys me about borrowers: they get annoyed when asked for it back, they act surprised for being asked for it back and some even deny that they borrowed.
Happened so many times. Never lending again.
great to hear
unless you want to start acting like gang members and send them violent notice dont front
How can someone pay you back if they have no money in the first place?
EXACTLY
Good point
And that’s why you don’t give them jack!
Real talk
Loved it. its amazing that I always follow this way since freshman year.
I never lend money to anyone only gift I feel like it. 👍🏻
I don't believe in money lending, I just believe in giving. It's not money I end up giving to friends, but buying them something as a Birthday or Christmas gift or just returning a favor.
This Lady is TOTALLY right! I just went through this today (AGAIN)... I lend money to a female friend. I did a quick little "friendly follow up" over text... She took offense to it. We got into a big argument (over something so Stupid, miniscule, and mi-NUTE)... And she blew up, CUT ME OFF as a friend, and told me: "Now, I'M NOT going to PAY YOU BACK!", and Blocked me... Smh L&R... It was SO ridiculous... I'm just like... Smh L&R (and I'm pretty “evolved and conscious” actually.) The minute you lend money, you have CHANGED the Dynamic of that Relationship.
She was probably looking for an excuse to not pay u back
Brilliant ...just discovered you..So Beautiful and Intelligent! I agree...money is a very very powerful energy...A gift is the way to go
I totally agree.....Greetings from NYC
Chris Rocco
I never lend money to my brother anymore, because he is making bad choices, and I never ask anyone for money unless I have no choice, but I will always find a way to pay them back.
Yes lending money to people it cause problems. I can’t lend money to my brother. He sucks at paying people back. People had to wait for months for him to pay it all back to them as well as me.
I'm surprised how important money is over helping others once or twice and not really expecting to have the lent money back right away.
Good lesson for everyone
I lent someone money. They were my cousin I grew up with. Never paid back. He has 2 more kids since I lent him money and I have seen them gone to Disneyland for a week but when I ask for the moey back, always an excuse. Oh I had cancer...
Ul never get that money back 💰.
💯 percent I agree with you.
Thank you 😊
Lending to Friends and Family should be the last resort, the relative have to be unemployed suddenly, dead broke to a extreme..Always give them advice to get it from other sources like driving for Uber, Lyft, Door Dash or Payday loan should be their plan B..
My internet provider guy showed up at my door asking for money for his personal reasons. I clearly denied giving him any. He told he has EMI pending and shit. I wasn't bothered.
**You should never ask your customers for money** Period. If you can't get your finances straight better sell what you can't pay off. It's that simple. People wanna hold on to belongings they can't pay off for, bloody fools.
Never give anything away you can’t afford to lose.
I'm making about 100$ a week lending money to a friend. She always pay me back 50$ more then I loan her.
Exactly this is just a selfish old battleaxe out of touch with people
@@iamasmurf1122 didn't understand that?
I had a friend that did the same and would pay me back with interest, but it still made me anxious lending out that much money and the $50 I made from the loan wasn't worth the stress of him possibly disappearing with my money.
@@polypalsies7648 Yeah for me it's the guilt of lending money to a gambler. I feel like i'm supporting a bad habit of hers
My friend has a job but he lives with his roommate and they barely come by...i offered him some money because i hate to see and hear him in a state where he doesnt have anything to eat...
Some friends return the money without even reminding them back but some never return even after continuously reminding them. Every time they come up with some excuses or stories. Do they even have self-respect for themselves. Totally cheap mentality. I'm financially not so stable and still lend some money to some friends out of pity and kindness but they turn the deaf ears while asking them to return.
Whatever my conditions are I never ask for money from someone rather I dwell in my own necessities.
I will never lend money to those kinds of people ever in my life. It only gives the mental trauma.
Thank you . I recently got a job offer. Now I keep receiving calls 😥😥😥😑😑 asking for money.its draining
I really feel you friend. Now i am succesful in life a d they all come to me can you borrow me this and that? I stay away from people like that. Its indeed draining.
My friend was in trouble just a week ago and she was crying about her expenses to me. I was listening to her and then she suddenly made a remark that not even a single friend even said that they would lent her money indirectly pointing it on me because I was listening to her loss but didn't said that I could help . After that things changed she barely talks to me even if she does all she does is make taunts about friends who backstab who are selfish. In my opinion the amount she wanted was huge and i couldn't help her with that also she never asked me so why would I lent her money , still this whole thing makes me feel bad that our friendship is now ruined
You don't need to feel bad. You're never friends with this person anyway. She's just using you
@@natural3362 You are right , now I don't talk to her .
Money should be in pocket. If it goes to mind, then it's a problem
Its dangerous lending money to family
Yes! There are better ways you can assist them :)
What if I lended the money to a woman?... Am I screwed?
I have lend so much money to my friends and relatives
Now I don't get back and I don't know what to do
I am a minor, my parents are far away from me due to their work and i am living by myself the thing is, im still relying on my family member when it comes to receiving money from my parents because the retailer ask for a valid id before i receive the payment mostly because they dont accept students id. My relatives are the one who's with me for valid id ,Half of myself consider it safety and half of it tells me im prone for "borrow money", then one day my mother send me 5000 and my relatives heard about it and they wanted to borrow 500 from me , the reason is absurd and vague since they said its for the chickens foods because they are cultivating chicken and they ran out of stock. I will not gave out a very whole detail but i am concerned on how should i manage ,avoid and be responsible to the money i have against the people who are borrowing my financial money support?
Please help me
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Mam , i just went through randomly to your video , Guess what ???? I have been thinking & trying to figure out the same issue you are talking about. I am right now stuck among people who just keep eye on my money. No matter they are friends , family or acquaintance. I wonder , am i a kind heart person or am i the only good or stupid person they ever come across. If i tell you about myself i am kind of person who would never do shopping almost for a year when not needed. People dont let you know. May be the video you made answer my mind's complexities. Are we responsible for the deficiency of money for others ? I feel guilty some times. Cant moving on saving coz eyes are there. I feel this world is a material and i am the only human lending money to others & never asked for a return back ! Irony
you sound like a good person, just say no to ppl asking you for money, they don't deserve it. You are NOT responsible for there failures and finances. good luck :)
Catarina Reis Thanks for giving me a relief.
At least there are some people like you who understand what i meant :) Initially i believed that it's our duty to help others when God makes you capable enough but what i concluded people become habitual.
I will consider your view. God bless you Catarina.
I had to learn the hard way as well.
At working and deaf friends want borrow money from me and I wonder why person ask for lend me for?! Think I am too nice or weak link something else?! I never lend anyone in my life. Why me?
When a person got his/her credit card for the first time, some people think that he/she is rich and then they are start asking for money to a person. I really don't like hearing the word "rich" because it makes uncomfortable when they think that the person has lots of money.😒😑
There are great ways to work through this. Read my blogs on wealthy mindset here www.thewealthchef.com/mindset
Definitely, don't lend money that will put you in a bind, if you don't get it back. I learned that by loaning to my own father.
Yes, there are other ways you can support them :)
Waiting for my $1000 from my father in law, as he had taken for his business purpose and had told that he will return soon. It's been 7 months now. He doesn't talk abt it. M in such a weird situation now, can't even ask for it and keep smiling everytime we meet. How to handle this situation? Had told this to my wife recently.. n she's like "would you ever take money back from your own father if he had taken it?" Now that's really complicated for me. Should I move on and never think of that money ?
If you take the emotion out of the decision making, you would NEVER lend anyone money. Because if you’re low/middle income you really can’t afford to lend money. If you’re rich/wealthy you’re obviously smart enough to not be frivolous with your money! 🤷🏻♂️
Usually I would test the waters. Like half or a little portion of the amount. If they don't pay back then I guess that's the red flag the next time they ask. There shouldn't be a next time btw.
Will never ever do that. If I lend money to someone for eg. $1000 I expect it to be paid back to me in the same total of $1000 and not $100 at a time untill it's fully paid up. I ain't a bank, cos you won't like the interest I add on top of what is owed if any.
Never co-sign for anyone
You always true I was Loans to my mom and she’s The true when I need a moneys I Borrowed in my Bank but my mother Borrowed my no paid at and she’s wanted to take my Daughter to Against me so what’s can I do?
Brilliant Ann
Thanks Edmund
hey my nanny borrow abt like money from me 2 times and have not returned it??? she also said dont tell my mom cause she shy. she said she doesn’t have money but my dad gave her.
Rather see if you can help her in other ways rather than lend her money
@@TheWealthChef how?
I lended a family memeber 1600k Pakistani rupees but no i only regret upon it.
Yep its true, dont lend more than you can afford to lose. In short dont do it. I learnt the hard way. DONT DO IT.
Thanks
Great video!
Thank you for tips
I DEPEND ON WHAT I COULD BUY BUT STILL I NOW DO NOT EXPECT MUCH I KNOW I CANNOT GET WHAT I WANT UNLESS I HAVE MY OWN MONEY THAT IS ALSO GOT TO BE ENOUGH
So I’m actually very financially sound and have a good house and a nice car I paid for in cash. One of my friends is always struggling financially and recently asked me to lend her $1,000. I don’t mind giving it to her as a gift entirely with no expectation of repayment, but I’m afraid this will open to the door for her to continue asking for more going forward. Is it better to just decline now even though I want to help her?
Help man . If you have enough money . Lending money will not decrease your wealth
Yes but only one time. She would come to ask for more. So let her know about your one-time offer.
Don't help her. Just buy the things that she needs
I do this often you become the go to person. Now I feel like others are taking advantage of me. I have to find a way to say NO !! to Everyone I see them doing everything with there money. Bad mistake I started
Tell them to go to the bank or credit union. I am not a bank.
I'll answer this in the first 10 seconds hell no it's a bad idea to lend money to friends unless you want to see a leach
I have lost around 10000$ by lending it to friends and relatives in a year, I am from India, and for me it is almost 15 months of my pay.
Take it as a learning curve - you have at least learned out of this experience. There are other ways you can support them rather than lend money
This video is the truth!