Thanks again, Julie. I'm actually the one who's dying. Early stages (untreated cancer, I've made it 13mos) , I'm still ambulatory, not incontinent yet, and actually eat something from time to time! But sharing your stuff with my friends/fam tells them what to expect later on. It helps them as much as anything can, I suppose. Keep doing this. People need to know.
You sound like a very resilient and special person. My mum never accepted her cancer and she became instantly depressed and withdrawn from diagnosis until she passed and it was like she had already left me. God bless you x
To the family who sent in the videos of their family member, thankyou for sharing and allowing us to learn despite how difficult it is. May this lady rest in peace & may her family be blessed. ❤
@@Makreads this!! I really appreciate her family for being to open to share with us this moment for them. It makes it easier for people who are wanting to learn about this process or will have to go through it themselves or with a loved one. My mom passed away at my house while I was at the park with my younger siblings and I didn’t get to be there for her. I’m so sad she experienced her last breath alone without me. But so grateful to be able to have some insight into how peaceful it could be if I needed to be there for another loved one in the future especially consider how fast my grandparents are aging. It also gives me some ideas of how to make my loved ones comfortable if necessary and what to expect in the moment etc.
@@victoriat7716 Some people say that our loved ones choose to go when we are apart from them. They hang on until we go so it is less traumatic. I am not sure how that works but that is an explanation I was given. If it helps. My mum is 99 and I am waiting waiting waiting and wondering how it will be for me and her. I remember how hard it was for me - this last stage with my dad. I got my mum in to be with him, and had to go out...he passed when I was out and mum was with him and she was at peace throughout the process.
As someone who has been at the bedside of many who've died, I wish to thank you for your work here and wherever you are. I, too, no longer have a fear of death. It is best understood from a clinical and natural perspective. You are doing a very good service here.
Best comment ever!! As a hospice nurse, I love this!!! The family deserves so much respect for sharing this! And to be appreciated for this. Such a blessing!!
Like Julie said, I don't think it was the actual woman in the video, because she's dying and she was unconscious. It was that woman's family. So thank them. I mean, yes, the woman in the video might've been happy that her experience is being used to help people, but I don't think she had any choice in the matter. It was her family.
@@lisachiappetti6092that could be possible as well but when ppl know that they’re dying they can give permission before they are in this state. I know my mom had multiple requests before she wasn’t able to speak anymore.
@@lisachiappetti6092 her family knows her well and maybe even had conversations about it before it was too late. I don’t think it would’ve been a spur of the moment decision
My mom had already stopped breathing, but her heart was still beating. I got my stethoscope (was an emt) and listened to her final heartbeats. Miss her a lot.
As a caregiver I cared for several family members. While caring for my mother, I climbed in her bed, sat up behind her, rapped my arms around her and told her that she could go, that she raised us well, that we would be alright and that we all loved her very much. Shortly thereafter she took her last breath. It was such an honor to be able to be there for her. She was an angel on earth, now she's an angel in heaven. Love, from S. California.
You just made me cry, you gave your mother the best of you in her worst time and gave her peace. I’m a mom of six , two of them are gone and the three turned their backs on me , only one stayed. And there’s not a day that I don’t pray for their safety and peace in their lives. I hope that when my time comes to go that they will be there for me like you did for your mom. If not, I hope God will just take me quietly . You were a blessing to your parent may God bless you always.
I have no doubt that she heard you & your soothing, loving voice helped with her peaceful passing. You sound like a wonderful daughter & I’m sure she was an amazing mother who is still watching over you now. Thank you for sharing. 💜
@@glennarussell4682 this is such a beautiful story! Clearly she did raise you well, and with your sweet words, she was assured it was ok for her to go. Because she loved and trusted you, and because she was safely enveloped in your arms.
I told both my mom and dad that they were going and that they will see a loved one or Jesus or an Angel. I said to them that, “they will get up out of this bed and go with the loved one.” With my mom, I said all her children’s names and said we will all be fine. It took about 12 hrs before she went left. My dad, I told him on Saturday afternoon. I was louder and more authoritative at that point. I asked him to let go. The sufferings for both of them was no good and I felt they would understand that statement. Overnight, my dad became unconscious and Tuesday early afternoon he passed. (sadly, hospice arrived on Monday for evaluation and Tuesday, he received medication in his mouth / by his cheek) and passed 30 mins later. Every dying person would benefit to be on hospice for at least a month prior to passing.
I took care of my husband at home for 4 months and he died in our arms. Hospice came in 2 times a week. I wish I new more and was educated to know what was going to happen at the end. We were married for 51 years. Thank you for educating other people to let them know what to expect because we were so sad an distraught seeing him dieing to know what was happening! Hospice was not there to help us. I lost my Marine, my best friend, the love of my life.
Be thankful every single day for living with the love of your life for 51 years! What an absolute blessing that so few of us get to experience. Rejoice in that gift and know that death is not the end but the beginning of eternity. So many memories to cherish. So amazing!!!
Thank you for your service, Sir! Please know, your wife is supported emotionally and loved. I am confident she sees the signs you leave her. Rest well. I know you and she will be reunited after she crosses peacefully into your loving, competent arms-
THANK YOU! I have been haunted for 5 years from my sister's last breaths! She was making motions like a fish out of water. I thought she didn't have a peaceful death and it troubled me greatly. Now I know it was agonal breathing! The video was much like what I saw in my sister, but maybe just a little more animated in my sister (or maybe conflated in my memory). This was very informative and comforting to me. Thank you so much.
I was holding one of my many favorite clients' hands when she was passing over, and that is exactly the way I explained it. "Like a fish out of water." I loved my people, my extended family, but I'm so glad I'm retired. It's not really good to watch life leave a body . Especially someone you love :'(
My husband was like your sister & unfortunately I did not have a great experience with our hospice nurse. It has stayed with me also, but Julie has helped to ease that pain. I send you hugs for those feelings at the time of losing your sister & hope you feel more at peace now.
I greatly appreciate this video. We all benefit from understanding what we might expect and know it is all a natural part of the dying process ... Not painful as you stated but "normal" the body shutting down. We can be comfortable, agonal breathing is not painful and as you state should NOT be "hidden".
Over 20 years ago I worked as a CNA . I saw a lot of people die but it was the most difficult thing was to be with my father when he died At least I know that he made his peace with God
Birth is celebrated and widely available to observe... Death, however, is (literally) cloaked in darkness - therefore compounds our fears towards the end of our existence . Both are natural occurances and should be understood. Thank you so very much, Julie, for being a beacon of light in the darkness ✨️ ❤️ xxxxx
No, quite the opposite actually. I've had a couple of NDEs due to anaphylactic shock from an unknown allergy at the time - (Alpha Gal) Transitioning feels like being high or on nitrous. Colors get brighter, sounds seem more distant, yet louder. Once you get past that feeling of impending doom that the body gives off as a danger signal, you start relaxing more & the thought of dying isn't scary, given how intense & yet peaceful these sensations become. You don't think about regrets so much as being grateful & focusing on the good things.
My mother just passed on 2 weeks ago. I was so blessed to be with her as she passed on. I prayed, read the Bible, played Christian music, kept her comfortable by putting a wet sponge on her lips and tongue. She passed with great peace. She could her me talk to her. I told her how much I love her and thanks her for all she had done. I told her all about her family and Jesus coming to get her. I kissed her and told her she was no longer a pilgrim here but that she was going home for eternity with God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and all of her loved ones!! She passed just after I kissed her. I miss her but know I will see her again when I go home. God bless. Until we meet again moma! ❤
@@judymenard3287 God bless you for being so caring and loving to your mother during her final earthly moments. Catch you on the other side, kind stranger!
Not only youu, everyone who we love truly will be together connected. If reincarnated, we'll be with them related to them as we liked to be, in paradise too we'll be connected to them 🥰 so like I'm generally not sorry for your loss, I'm just happy that she's gonna be with God guiding you spiritually and you both will reunite again veryy veryyy sooonnm in terms of spiritual age (like 100 yrs is not big in terms of God) may her Soule rest in peace 🕊️💞
I watched my husband pass from leukemia. He had a hospice nurse but she wasn't around when it happened. She actually didn't believe me when I called her that night saying he passed. She had been there that afternoon and thought he was still doing well. After she left, I realized he had cold legs and I knew he was going. I miss him tremendous, he wasn't just my husband, he was my best friend. ❤
Death is so incredible and different ..my grandmother was talking up a storm ..I even asked the nurse are you sure she is dying .. the nurse said it’s normal ..by the next day she passed.. it was a beautiful experienced to know she used her last bit of energy to love us .again 💕
I am so very sorry for your loss. My mom will be 90 in two weeks. She was diagnosed with leukemia a year and a half ago. She has declined. She also had a stroke back in October. She declined some more. Can you offer any advice on what I need to look for in my mom to know when she might need to go on hospice. She can barely walk and is incontinent. She is in extreme pain when she moves from arthritis.
End of life should be as sacred as the beginning of life. My husband passed in 2007. He was 56 yrs old . He was unconscious and at home . Surrounded by family and friends. My hospice friend told😂 me to tell him it’s okay to go . I didn’t think he could hear or understand me. His body was shutting down & he could no longer eat or drink . So I sat by his side held his hand and said I will always love you and I am grateful to God for our life together. But you must go . No more worrying no more pain . I will be fine with the precious memories. And with that he had a huge exhale and was gone . Sharing the gift of going home should be as special as a new arrival. My granddaughters were 10 & 6 they were there as well and we all said this was Pop’s graduation to heaven . We will miss them and think of them often but such is life❤
@@caroltaylor-hinds6050 just to let you know, something I didn’t add at that end something else happen . At the Wake those friend that were there for his last breathe told me they experienced the same thing I felt , when he exhaled it was as though a balloon full of air was let go and buzzing happily around the room . I know it seems silly but we all felt his joy & relief . It’s been 17 years , and I still cry missing him but the tears are less painful and more grateful 🙏🏼 ♥️💪🏼
I've been a nurse for 26 years and have been bedside for so many deaths...I see it exactly as you do! It has always been an absolute honor to see these people and be able to be part of making them comfortable and to be able to make it the best experience I can for the families. ❤
I watched my grandpa have a heart attack while we were snow machining. I was 14 and it was just us and we were out in the middle of nowhere. Its been 8 years and alot of healing but this video makes me feel more honored that I was there for his very last moments. Rest in peace Papa.
I didn't have a lot of help with hospice either, they came first thing in the morning and it took days for her to leave. I was so scared and she was just like this sweet lady. I just couldn't be there like I should've and I now regret this so much. I'm sorry but not all hospice is not created equal, I wish they more of a comfort to me. I was in so much pain myself 😢
@@irelynegrega502 I am now 52 and I remember it like it was yesterday it is something that gets easier with time but the pain never truly goes away does it? Glad bless you honey.
Shortly before my grandmother passed, her daughter (my aunt) was with her. My grandmother told her there was a woman with dark hair waiting for her -- probably her mother. :) Perhaps your daughter will be waiting to help you go home. Bless you, and prayers for a peaceful journey. Hope to meet you there some day! :)
My grandma once told me "I never feel sad for the ones who die, I feel sad for those left behind". Since then with every funeral ive attended, i watch those attending, and I feel sad for them all. I often am not saddened by the persons passing, I mean I am but my sadness is based around those left behind.I view my own passing the same. I dont fear death, but I worry about my children and their lives after.
@@CQuinnLady I feel the same way in some aspects, I feel saddened if someone goes young because I know they probably have unfinished business. But people are going back into the comfortable cosmos. Everything that makes them up has always been here and always will be. They were comfortable for all of time before being alive, they'll be comfortable for all of time again after.
I was on life support for 2 weeks and I remember everything I felt miserable, I was cold, I was thirsty, I seen people that came to visit even though I was unconscious…….. I talked to a man who told me that my great aunt was in the same hospital as me. I asked him where was she; but he told me they came and took her away….. once off life support I told my uncle about my aunt and he was very surprised 😮 he told me she had passed away but we weren’t in the same hospital….. the living sees one thing the dying sees another. It wasn’t my time. I think life is the dream until you pass away; that’s when you wake up. Death is uncomfortable until it isn’t
This is exactly how my Mother sounded. Mama was on home Hospice care and my twin sister and I were taking care of her daily; with her nurse available by phone at all times. Hospice nurses are truly amazing and caring. Mama's nurse explained everything to my sister and I about what would happen and she gave us a booklet to read about what to expect at end of life. The fear was gone because of Mama's nurse because we knew what was happening at every stage. We used those sponge things to keep her mouth moistened and we played her Christian hymns in the background. Mama was 95 and went to Heaven on New Year's Eve 2022. We love you Mama ❤ God bless all Hospice nurses 🙏
My mother went through home hospice. I myself count on that for myself when I’m ready. Please know the people that were sent were absolutely perfect and I believe God was there. It was so beautiful and the room had a golden glow not from artificial lighting. Do not fear my friend. My love is with you. Please trust 🙌🏻❤️😘
I'm 30. I was a caregiver to my aunt, and grandpa. I helped grandma in hospice care before she passed. My dad died in 2021 two days after Christmas. I didnt get to be there because he died at dialysis. I'm used to death now. I lost so many of the people i loved in such a short amount of time. I watched the color be gone from their face and life from their eyes. It changed me as a person too. Life is so short.
Very beautiful for sharing. I held my mother’s hand as she took her last breath. It was on my 50th birthday. I whispered to her that we were together in a hospital room 50 years ago that day, as she watched me take my first breath. I wouldn’t give anything for those last moments together. My brother and sister were in the room too, and although difficult, don’t be afraid to share these unforgettable moments.
@@rosebud6485 Thank you for sharing this. I held my father’s hand as he passed away on my 30th birthday and never thought of the fact that we were together when I took my first and while he took his last breaths. That makes it easier for me to feel better about celebrating my birthday on his death anniversary
That’s just how my husband was before he passed away. I know he wasn’t in pain those six days he was in hospice. He looked peaceful. It’s just that the sounds are kind of frightening, but they told me he’s not in any pain at all. I could tell by the color of the skin that it wasn’t going to be very long and it was no sooner than I went home that night that he passed an hour later, still get mail from the hospice center asking how I’m doing. They were incredible.
I'm kind of similar. I sometimes look up medical lectures and surgical procedures, but this came up kind of unexpectedly, and I don't think I've looked up any hospice topics. It was a good, informative video.
In less than 11 minutes, you've taught the general public, more than what I got in the classroom. My first day in trauma, my first hour, I experienced my first death. Was tough. I never really got to witness the natural process, until much later. In my experience, most of the time, it's not a struggle for the dying person, but it's especially hellish, for the family. You and this family are to be commended. You've provided something wonderful in this experience. 👍
@@orbs1062 agree, I’ve been there for my grandmother, mother, and father’s death at elderly ages. All of them went thru this. It was really difficult and it bothered me a lot… even to this day. However, after watching this - it brought some understanding and comfort as to what took place.
My sister died at a dialysis appointment last week. She passed quickly and unexpectedly. She was 50 and a few days prior, she said she was going to die this next week and those with her were shocked by the comment. She knew she was going to die and it’s insane to know her statement and then dying in her appointment. I’m so sad and shocked. I do appreciate your channel because it has brought so much comfort to so many.
As a longtime Paramedic it breaks my heart when I go to scenes where this is the case and loved ones do not understand it is end of life. Thank you for this and to the family that allowed these videos to be shared. It’s important more people understand this.
My mom is dying, stage 4 COPD and dementia. I feel so prepared for reality now. I don’t feel scared to lay with my mom while she dies. Thank you Nurse Julie.
This is the exact reason she does what she does with her videos and book and I think it’s so amazing! I’m so glad you have some comfort knowing what to expect and as prepared as one can be when the time comes. Death has also been a topic that is never discussed even though it’s something every single one of us go through at some point personally and also with our loved ones.
I lost my Dad May 29, 2023....I was there with him...the hospice staff and nursing home staff were there as well. I really, really, really miss my Daddy 😢😢😢
Thank you Julie and to the family who allowed this video of their dying loved ones to be shown. I have been tormented, have frequent flashbacks and have had no peace for the ten months since my father passed. I thought he suffered and was gasping for air. I am crying with relief and can have peace now for the first time since he died. ❤
This was too painful to watch. This was my mother in February of this year. I stayed with her until she died. Thank you to the family for sharing this footage with the world.
@@baigish100 same here, 2 years ago. I’m glad I watched this though because this whole time I thought my mother was gasping for air and choked to death. I’m so relieved this is normal and it looked exactly like this. Sorry for your loss
I’m not frightened of the actual dying process. I’m frightened of what comes after… and if that is nothing… that scares me the most. I close my eyes sometimes and try to imagine nothingness, a void, blackness, no conscious thought… and it terrifies me. I know I won’t know… and yet, it still frightens me. Perhaps it’s the thought that I haven’t done enough in the living stage. I don’t even know if any of that makes sense. It’s difficult to explain
Why? do you remember before you were born? No. That's how I feel about death. I won't know. I fear pain with the lead up - I do not want a painful drawn out death.
@@KinjiUrba I suffer from a severe pain disorder .. so I’m very comfortable with physical pain. It’s my whole existence. It’s the thought of no existence that scares me. The nothingness. I’ve existed so pre-birth was before the conscious thought I have now. It’s not the same to me personally. Maybe it’s like a said, the fear of not having done things I wish I had done. I don’t know. All I know is that when I try to imagine it, it frightens me.
@@kiwigirljacks My point is that I was unaware of the fact I existed before I was born and a don't even recall being born or my very early birthdays or anything. I feel as though death will be like being born into something else that goes beyond my comprehension to understand, and therefore I won't know the difference. If a person is no longer alive, they would miss nothing and not know what to miss. They are no longer conscious here on earth. I relate this a bit to people fearing cremation after death. If you are dead already why fear that? However, they don't think about what the morgue will do be removing all of their blood and replacing it with Formaldehyde. Your opinion is of course worth as much as mine on any matter. I just wish I could help you with that fear and perhaps think about it a bit differently. I've personally faced my mortality with 2 cancer diagnoses. The 2nd being stage 4a Head & Neck. I had to learn to come to terms with something and religion certainly isn't my choice with. I don't even personally like the "God" that Christians worship. If he had a plan, he needs a new one. I believe there is probably something bigger than us that we just don't comprehend. It's probably best that way. I'll bet being born was surely not a fun and comfortable day for me either. Death seems to be similar on the way out, just reversed.
@@KinjiUrba I appreciate your way of thinking. And I envy you in the way you can approach death. I of course can logically understand that once I’m dead there is no longer any conscious thought and no fear or pain. But while I’m living I can’t help but think about not existing any longer and feel a sadness about it. I was brought up very religious. But even the teaching of resurrection which was supposed to bring comfort in seeing dead loved ones again, or the idea of living again (in whatever form that takes), never gave me solace because I never aligned myself truly with the concepts and therefore did not think I would be receiving a ‘resurrection’. So I think that upbringing affected me greatly because I never felt good enough to get that ‘reward’ and therefore I would simply no longer exist. In my adulthood, I’ve struggled with knowing what comes next. Perhaps that’s where this all stems from. I choose mostly not to think about it much now, because that’s my coping mechanism. Sorry for what you went through. It sounds like you are indeed very strong to have come through that and maintained a mental fortitude! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic. I appreciate others perspectives, even if I may never reach that same level of acceptance ✌️
@@kiwigirljacks I wish I could email you at this point. I'm so sorry that you are so afraid and I wish you could find a way to make peace with death. It happens to us all, remember? You sure aren't alone!
I was my mothers care taker and was with her when she went home to be with her Savior. It was the most BEAUTIFUL thing I've ever seen. She looked SO beautiful and peaceful. I leaned down and kissed her telling her I would see her again ❤❤
It bothers me when people don’t want to be with their loved ones as they leave this earth. I was holding my mother’s hand as she took her last breath and wouldn’t give anything for that. I was on the interstate when my dad passed because I didn’t make it there in time. My mother and siblings were there though and that comforts me.
Thank the family that let you show the videos and thank you for showing them and explaining them. Death is hard enough on the family without also being afraid that your family member is suffering.
My Dad died of brain cancer this February and this was exactly how he died. It was loud but thankfully I had watched some of Nurse Julie’s videos and knew what was coming and that gave my Mom and myself tremendous relief
My mother passed away June 9,2024. Some of her children were moistening her lips and inner cheeks with the sponge when she bit down. It was at once alarming, then kinda funny as they all looked at each other saying “now what do we do??!!” After a few minutes her jaw muscles relaxed again and the sponge was removed. Nursing staff said that commonly happens. Be prepared but don’t try to pull it out until the loved one releases their jaw muscles.
If it wasn't for you, then my dad and I would not have been prepared for when my precious mam was taken by pancreatic cancer. May God bless you 🙏 xxxxx
I think my momma left this earth before any of the actual dying happened. She reached to the ceiling, and talked to people..and was so enchanted to see them..children too.
I wish I could know more about this lovely lady. This departure video is an important part of her life, but I know there’s so much more. What did she do for fun? Did she have pets? Who was her very best friend? Did she work somewhere with people she laughed with…and people who got on her last nerve? Did she travel? Collect green stamps?…sing?…play bingo? It all matters. Because she mattered. And she always will.
@@kimlarsothat’s not the same lady in this video is it? I didn’t read it that way. She was telling her she’s the one that’s actually dying now not just a commenter. This lady in the video is no longer here.
I was with my twin sister and held her as she passed from breast cancer. Since I was born first I must have also witnessed her first breaths. Being there for her last breaths was such a privilege. She had been non-verbal for about a week and had her eyes shut until the very end when she opened them briefly. I'm not sure she saw me, but the hospice nurse encouraged me to talk to her because hearing is apparently the last sense we lose. I hope she knew how much I loved her and wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else for her last moments. She breathed very much like the lady in the video. What I was shocked by was how gray my sister's fingers were. Thank you for sharing this and thank you to that lovely lady's family for allowing you to post this.
I truly believe the hearing stays aware. My beloved uncle responded when I spoke to him about my work (we were/are both LEO) and he got a bit riled up. I think he just wanted to "talk shop" like we used to but couldn't. Then when his son was praying over him "God please take this man" phewwwww, he gave him an earful. Of course it wasn't words, but I'm pretty sure I could interpret the grunts and growls as "I'll go when I'm ready!!" Miss him so much
My mother was the sole caretaker of my quadriplegic stepfather for 45 years,.Before she died (a month ago), she was complaining that she needed someone to take care of her, both physically and mentally, and was severley depressed. I couldn't be there for her as I live in a different country. She spent the last couple of months in a beautiful hospice, surrounded by the most wonderful staff who she loved dearly, and got all the attention she was craving, I was blessed to be there with her in her last days and witness how calm and happy she was when she passed away. I truly admire the wonderful work hospice nurses and doctors do, there are no words to describe how grateful I am.
1st, your Mother was already a Saint for taking care of your Father for 45 years. I am so glad that she was surrounded by these wonderful doctors, nurses and attendants in her final weeks. They are incredible people.
I’m so sorry. I’m sure you were terrified. May God bless your sweet soul. I wasn’t able to be there when my wife died, and it really hurt. I don’t know which is worse, but my heart aches for you.
Very helpful video. As a retired mortician, funeral Director I have been present at several deaths and hospice is such a great organization. If I can add anything from experience, then it would be that after death air can still be located in the lungs and moving the body can cause a final exhalation which I have explained to a bereaved family more than once. It can be a very, very sad field to work in , but very personally rewarding as well. you have to give a lot of yourself. however, what personally sustains me is my faith in knowing that it does not end at the grave.
My grandpa wasn't on hospice, he was in a VA hospital with copd. He didn't do this, he just kept saying over and over that the devil was coming to get him and he did not go down easy. He was very abusive in life. My granny, the main object of his abuse, lived 25 more years and she just slipped away with a smile. So happy we didn't have to deal with the death rattle. Just give me a massive dose of morphine before this happens to me. PLEASE.
Romans 3:27-28-And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: 28 So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation. The A B C's of salvation: A-Admit that you are a sinner Romans 3:10 Romans 3:23 B- Believe that Jesus is Lord , died for your sins and rose from the dead. Romans 5:8 Romans 6:23 C- Call upon his name. Romans 10:9 Romans 10:13
SAME!!!! My mom was NOT at peace when she went. She was a very good woman and had nothing to fear, but something in the room was frightening her. I still can't get it out of my mind 20 years later.
I was fortunate enough to discover your channel before my father passed. When he began the process of dying, I had a better understanding of what was happening thanks to your channel.
I’m a volunteer with 11 th hr. We helped 2 Angels go home in this week. I really wish families could watch a video like this as soon as there family member goes on hospice. If it’s there fist time watching someone die, they have a hard time excepting their loved one is not suffering. Thank you for all you do Julie.
I wish people could watch it so m uh sooner to start to reconcile the inevitable for us all. The end shouldn’t be so mysterious or scary. Knowledge is important. This way the medical system can’t easily traumatize people with “you’re going to die”. We already know that. And so are you lol
I’m a retired ER and ICU physician. I’ve watched many people at the end of life. Your videos are excellent and I wish more people would watch them. I always know when a family has seen this process before with another loved one and how much better they handle it the next time. Keep showing these and it will make a difference, I’m certain. Thank you. 🙏
I have a sad story for you my dad passed away from Alzheimer's and cancer and after he passed away my mom was devastated and I think she grieved over my dad's passing she was on oxygen and setting up and eating a little bit but eventually she just got tired of her pain from losing her husband and everyday I think about them and hope to see them one day
Thanks for this, Julie. When my husband died three years ago, it was during the Covid-19 pandemic and I was not able to remain at his bedside in his final moments. However, when I arrived at the hospital in the afternoon before he passed away, he was already unconscious, but I knew from my understanding of the dying phases that he could still hear me, so I spoke to him for a long time and the hospital Chaplain came to bless him and we recited the Lord's Prayer together and the Chaplain read a few short scriptures that were comforting. My husband wasn't afraid of dying but was worried about leaving loved ones behind, and the combination of prayers and healing helped him to let go of his physical body and allow his spirit to move on. He had been physically unwell for quite some years before he died, so losing him physically was hard, and yet I knew it was his time and that his spirit could not live in his body anymore. My husband died in peace. Death is still a taboo subject and is avoided as a topic of ordinary conversation, and yet it is nothing to be afraid of. It is just a transition to the afterlife. A year and a half after my husband's death, my stepdaughter found out she was pregnant and a little girl was born, so my husband's genes live on through his daughter and granddaughter, which brings me a lot of comfort. Sometimes I see a glimpse of him when she smiles. I have so much respect for Hospice Nurses and staff who look after the terminally ill and dying. Death is as sacred as birth.
I understand what that feels like. My father passed away during the pandemic and I was unable to see him after the ambulance took him. Had the pandemic not been around, I think I may have had more trauma related to seeing the condition he was in.
I'm sorry you had that experience .Being a Nurse , and being aware how difficult it can be without Hospice or a Nurse in room explaining what you are seeing and why could certainly be upsetting .We'll all have to do this , and being aware of the process of dying hopefully will stop it from being so emotional .Maybe expose yourself to the process more to help you heal . Your Mother is with the Creator from where she came .❤
@@dianet467 It wasn't anything to do with what I was seeing, her passing was very peaceful. It was simply the fact I'd lost my mum and best friend. I still miss her and am forever changed.
@@chrissymasters4987 absolutely!! I remember sitting there watching mum, waiting for the death rattle and all the other signs we are told about. Instead it was such a peaceful beautiful passing
Thanks to the family for allowing us to see these videos and thank you for explaining them. I was with both my parents when they died and now I finally know what they did was very normal and natural. It has been about 30 years and now I finally have peace. Thank you so much.
I took care of my dad his last 24 days of life! Was something I never want to experience again! When he lost his mind is what done it for me! I gave him his medicine to keep his rattle down, and he never did that. He wasn’t there the last 2 days. I miss him dearly even though we didn’t get a long
@@Motorider50 I'm so sorry. 😢 I think it turned so suddenly and went downhill so fast, it hadn't really sunk in. Mostly what's freaking me out is worry about my dog - who will take her and love her. No one will even step up to watch her so I can get to the ER when I need to, so worry for her has taken my focus off of me. I'm nervous about going through it alone, so I hope it's fast. Meanwhile, I'm praying for an earthly angel to be there for her. Take care!
@@Moneymaster1999 I’ve hospices a few people now. The medications they provide relaxes your breathing and takes away any pain. You’ll be unconscious by the time you have death rattle. Don’t be scared. 🙏❤️🪽🪽
this was actually really nice to learn. when my grandma was dying, i saw a few of these signs before we took her to hospital and it was very scary at the time. she died peacefully on morphine. we believe some part of her knew my birthday was coming up and that she was waiting for it to pass. sure enough, she passed 2 days after my birthday. rip grandma i love you! ❤️🩹
Thank you for explaining the differences in breathing during active dying. A special thank you to the family for sharing their videos with us, my sincere condolences on their loss.
this video would have been extremely helpful when my grandma was passing in hospice. At 23, it was my first experience with death/being around an actively dying person. I really think this video will help a lot of people. Thank you, Julie!
My mother was breathing the same shallow breaths right before she passed. She was aware and able to hear. I thanked her for being such a good mother and she tried to talk. Before she became very ill she would frequently see her deceased parents at the front door.
Julie, you help in more ways than you know. Animals do this too. Recently, we had to put my daughter's dog to sleep. My daughter was extremely upset, losing her best friend. Anyway, the vet explained what we might see. And because of your videos, I was familiar with what the vet was saying. My daughter was crying & didn't really understand. So, as our Lucy (my daughter's dog) was going thru these stages, I was able to tell her what to expect next & I think it helped her thru it. Especially the agonal breathing part. It really does look horrible if you're not prepared. I was able to explain it to her, so I believe her sadness was losing her best friend instead of fear that Lucy was suffering. It made me feel better, and I believe it helped my daughter, too. Thank you for what you do.
I watched my brother taken off life support. He was given a sedative before the device came out of his mouth. He took a few breaths out of his mouth. The process took 10 minutes. His organs failed due to a life long addiction to alcohol. He passed peacefully with his family around him.
I made the choice to remove my Dad and my husband off life support. Both were brain dead. Last thing I told my Dad was I think I’m pregnant, but you can’t tell anyone. Needless to say he didn’t. My husband was also brain dead. Removed him off life support. Covid was running rampant I was very sick and my daughter made me go home and she and my son in law stayed with him. She washed his face combed his hair and cleaned his beard up. Was holding his hand when he left for his new journey. It’s been 3 years still miss him married for 34 years. And life goes on.
Hi Julie, I want to thank you. My mother passed away 6 weeks ago. She was 95 and had dementia. I discovered your channel just a couple of weeks before, and if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have known what was going on. I am so grateful to know that she died peacefully in her sleep and didn’t suffer.
This reminded me of my Mother. She was at home on Hospice and would have those fluids and get coughing attacks like she was chocking and this would happen day and night and went on for one week before she passed so we would need to stay with her day and night. My Father in Law went through the same but in the Hospital and he got the drops to dry his throat. It made a huge difference
I'm here because my mother is dying. We're incredibly estranged but I went to see her. She was yelling at me for not bringing her granddaughter. Yelling at me for childhood things. I left because i couldn't bring her more distress, but my heart breaks because I never wished harm on her, just for her to stop messing with my job and marriage. I'm guessing she's so scared, that she isn't going to be thinking straight until the end. I still went and told her i loved her. I can't do much more than that.
My mother was so different and I guess not common. She had dementia and passed away right in front of me. She smiled and simply went to sleep and was gone. It was super fast. She was very lucky to go so peacefully especially after watching this video.
My mother, father and brother went through the breathing stages until end of life. Thank you for sharing this video for others who may not be aware of the various breathing moments.
This needs to be shown to anyone working in healthcare or in senior care, even in non-medical roles. I work in an administrative role but also help with laundry in an assisted living facility. I've briefly seen the actively dying phase a few times, and this can also be scary for well-meaning staff who don't know what actively dying actually looks like. It's important for staff, family members, and everyone who may see someone in their final moments to understand what is happening. This isn't known enough... even in senior care.
I'm surprised there's no training for the job beforehand. This is a problem in many service industries. You'd think we would have that figured out by now.
@@websurfer5772 It's shocking how few of our training videos even mentioned death, considering the nature of senior care. A few mentioned code status and respecting DNRs if a resident is unresponsive, but those videos were more about CPR. There was only ONE training video specifically about death, but it was about what to do after a resident passes. The dying process was never mentioned in any part of our training, and it should be. I learned about it by seeing it and asking an experienced caregiver what was happening.
I wish I had seen this video before my dad had passed. When he stopped was shocking and I had to call my sister to rush home from work to be with him. If I had known, I would have told her not to go to work so we could all be together as a family at peace instead of panicking. The videos brought back memories of the sounds he made, I didnt realize how strong he was to hold on during his cancer battle because his active dying phase only lasted for less than 12 hours. I miss him so much he was my strength and learning how to be an adult without him has been one of the hardest phases of life I've had to do. I hope I can be as strong as him one day. Sorry if the format isn't well, I don't want to go back and edit this. Just speaking from the heart.
I lost my Mother in April 2021. The death rattle was the absolute hardest thing to hear. I literally thought she was drowning. So when you explained this, just as our Hospice nurse did, that day, it brought me back to that moment. I wish I would have been aware before it occurred and could have made it better for her and stayed by her side. I had to step away because I couldn't stop sobbing. And didn't want that to be the last thing she heard. Her best friend just kept rubbing her head and telling her it was ok to go. Heartbreaking moment. I'll never forget. Thank you for explaining this to those who do not understand. 💔
When I was nearing retirement and in the SEVERE burnout phase, it didn’t occur to me to watch videos. I was feeling like I knew nothing, everything was all scattered, my decision-making was off, etc, etc. So I’d try to read up on stuff to straighten it all out in my head. Except that I couldn’t focus on reading! What a mess. I wish I had thought about watching videos like this. What a sweet demeanor you have. I could totally see your videos providing me hope and help during that time. You may quote me. Lol
I brought mama home for hospice per her wishes. She didn't want to be "doped up in a cold room, unable to respond to anyone but hearing them" (her words). Her caregiver and the visiting hospice nurse helped me tremendously through the process. The only obstacle was giving her pain medication on a schedule per the nurse. Mama abruptly came out of slumber, told the nurse she would let us know when she was in pain and wanted medication only at that time. The nurse relented then. Thank you and the family for sharing this. I'm sure it will be helpful to many. Condolences on losing their precious loved one.
I get you, but in reality, it is actually peaceful. I was with my 94 year on father and 49 year old nephew as they went through the last stages of life. Witnessing this has made me totally unafraid of dying. It is truly beautiful. ♥️🙏
I was with my Daddy when he took his last breath. He wasn't on hospice, though. He had a heart attack a week before, but when he fell, he struck the back of his head and neck area. He broke his brain stem, and at the hospital, they did not realize he was brain dead and put in a place maker, but he didn't come back. We only had him on life support for less than a week, they had placed him on life support while waiting for his siblings to make it to FL from KY. They were with us to make the final decision but had left early Saturday morning. He passed at 7pm that night, 25 years ago. I was with him and told him it was fine to go home, that i loved him and would always love and miss him! He actually fluttered his eyes at me, smiled, and took his last breath. Only God knows why he smiled. Was he giving me his last smile, or was he seeing maybe his parents and baby son that had already passed? He was the first of 7 children to pass in his family, but now there is only 1 left. I love and miss this man more than words can explain💔❤️.
I pray this precious one had a mostly joyful life. Thank you to her family for allowing us to learn through her. Thank you Hospice Nurse, for this lesson. I agree, knowledge takes the fear out of these kinds of situations. Be Blessed.
I witnessed my grandfather’s death. He was terrified and it was very difficult to watch him fight it. My grandmother, on the other hand, was experiencing a peace that I can’t put into words. I’m not going to delve into the belief in an afterlife: but I will say my grandmother knew she was going to heaven and faced death with excitement. This had a profound impact on my own spiritual development. God bless all of you.
@@freeman7079 I read a book about creditable people who have had near death experiences after my dad passed, and they ALL had very similar experiences. We will see our loved ones again. It will be amazing. ❤️❤️❤️
This is exactly how my daddy passed away. I was there holding his hand, and he raised up and was gasping for air, or so I thought. It was very scary for me, and I assumed for him too. I was the only one in the room at the time and thought I had done something wrong as far as telling them to increase his morphine. Thank you for sharing this. Now I realize everything that happened during his passing was normal, and he wasn't in pain. Thank you ❤
Thanks for posting this. It may make some people uncomfortable to watch, but I find it educational and reassuring. So much of the dying process is shrouded in mystery by our culture.
This is so educational and NEEDS to be seen. It was quite something for me, honestly, but I'm super glad I witnessed it so I can adequately prepare myself. My mom was a nurse in frail care at an old age home for most of her working life, but she never told us kids this. Maybe she thought it would be traumatic.
When my father passed he was in the hospital attached to heart monitor. I was callled in, he asked about the kids, asked nurse for a wash, then just laid back and died. He had developed pneumonia that same day, died at midnight. It still fascinates me of his . He was verbal right until his last breath
@@ElizabethMatek yes, there are many ways a person can die without a death rattle and i am speaking of those actively dying specifically not someone falling off a building or other sudden or unusual deaths.
Longtime Canadian supporter here to thank you so much for the calm logic you inject into a process and an eventuality Western societies (in particular) struggle with. Knowledge is power, including understanding how our bodies are “programmed” to die. Your videos - and your extensive lived experience as a hospice nurse - do a great kindness to those who follow you (or who just stumble across your channel via algorithm), as it’s a reality we’re all faced with.
Thanks again, Julie. I'm actually the one who's dying. Early stages (untreated cancer, I've made it 13mos) , I'm still ambulatory, not incontinent yet, and actually eat something from time to time! But sharing your stuff with my friends/fam tells them what to expect later on. It helps them as much as anything can, I suppose. Keep doing this. People need to know.
The Lord be with you AMEN.
Unreal. I tried to wish you well and the site removed my post
Bless you on your journey.❤
May Peace and comfort be yours and your family's and friend's. May angels carry you gently into eternal life. Katy retired hospice chaplain.
You sound like a very resilient and special person. My mum never accepted her cancer and she became instantly depressed and withdrawn from diagnosis until she passed and it was like she had already left me. God bless you x
To the family who sent in the videos of their family member, thankyou for sharing and allowing us to learn despite how difficult it is. May this lady rest in peace & may her family be blessed. ❤
@@Makreads this!! I really appreciate her family for being to open to share with us this moment for them. It makes it easier for people who are wanting to learn about this process or will have to go through it themselves or with a loved one. My mom passed away at my house while I was at the park with my younger siblings and I didn’t get to be there for her. I’m so sad she experienced her last breath alone without me. But so grateful to be able to have some insight into how peaceful it could be if I needed to be there for another loved one in the future especially consider how fast my grandparents are aging. It also gives me some ideas of how to make my loved ones comfortable if necessary and what to expect in the moment etc.
@@victoriat7716 Some people say that our loved ones choose to go when we are apart from them. They hang on until we go so it is less traumatic. I am not sure how that works but that is an explanation I was given. If it helps. My mum is 99 and I am waiting waiting waiting and wondering how it will be for me and her. I remember how hard it was for me - this last stage with my dad. I got my mum in to be with him, and had to go out...he passed when I was out and mum was with him and she was at peace throughout the process.
@@Makreads 🙏🏽🙏🏽
❤😢rip myu
As someone who has been at the bedside of many who've died, I wish to thank you for your work here and wherever you are. I, too, no longer have a fear of death. It is best understood from a clinical and natural perspective. You are doing a very good service here.
Thanks to the family for allowing you to educate us with real videos. And sorry for their loss.
Best comment ever!! As a hospice nurse, I love this!!! The family deserves so much respect for sharing this! And to be appreciated for this. Such a blessing!!
I agree. Such a beautiful and loving gesture, made even as they are losing a loved one. I am also sorry for their loss.
Great comment ❤
Indeed
Well said. God bless the family
What a very generous woman she was to allow this video of her to be shared with everyone.
Like Julie said, I don't think it was the actual woman in the video, because she's dying and she was unconscious. It was that woman's family. So thank them. I mean, yes, the woman in the video might've been happy that her experience is being used to help people, but I don't think she had any choice in the matter. It was her family.
@@lisachiappetti6092that could be possible as well but when ppl know that they’re dying they can give permission before they are in this state. I know my mom had multiple requests before she wasn’t able to speak anymore.
@@lisachiappetti6092 her family knows her well and maybe even had conversations about it before it was too late. I don’t think it would’ve been a spur of the moment decision
Thank you for giving more insight about this. ❤
@@lisachiappetti6092 I thought she said she was a patient of hers who gave her permission (prior)?
I couldn't have ran across this at a more PERFECT MOMENT!!!! I'm dying from Stomach Cancer. Thank you for doing this ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@@Patty-it7tw my prayers go for you 😪❤
@Patty-it7tw god bless you Patty!
@@NYPD99STARR Thank Sweet P. Blessed Be Honey
@@Patty-it7tw hugs
May god give you strengh all love ❤❤❤❤
My mom had already stopped breathing, but her heart was still beating. I got my stethoscope (was an emt) and listened to her final heartbeats. Miss her a lot.
Awe. May she rest in peace.
@kathyscott5580 Wow, this comment though... what a wild and neat yet heartbreaking event to experience 🖤
😢🤍💙🤍🥺
@@kathyscott5580 I promise you will see her again.
Aw❤😢😢😢
As a caregiver I cared for several family members. While caring for my mother, I climbed in her bed, sat up behind her, rapped my arms around her and told her that she could go, that she raised us well, that we would be alright and that we all loved her very much. Shortly thereafter she took her last breath. It was such an honor to be able to be there for her. She was an angel on earth, now she's an angel in heaven. Love, from S. California.
You just made me cry, you gave your mother the best of you in her worst time and gave her peace. I’m a mom of six , two of them are gone and the three turned their backs on me , only one stayed. And there’s not a day that I don’t pray for their safety and peace in their lives. I hope that when my time comes to go that they will be there for me like you did for your mom. If not, I hope God will just take me quietly . You were a blessing to your parent may God bless you always.
I have no doubt that she heard you & your soothing, loving voice helped with her peaceful passing. You sound like a wonderful daughter & I’m sure she was an amazing mother who is still watching over you now. Thank you for sharing. 💜
@@glennarussell4682 this is such a beautiful story! Clearly she did raise you well, and with your sweet words, she was assured it was ok for her to go. Because she loved and trusted you, and because she was safely enveloped in your arms.
I told both my mom and dad that they were going and that they will see a loved one or Jesus or an Angel. I said to them that, “they will get up out of this bed and go with the loved one.” With my mom, I said all her children’s names and said we will all be fine. It took about 12 hrs before she went left. My dad, I told him on Saturday afternoon. I was louder and more authoritative at that point. I asked him to let go. The sufferings for both of them was no good and I felt they would understand that statement. Overnight, my dad became unconscious and Tuesday early afternoon he passed. (sadly, hospice arrived on Monday for evaluation and Tuesday, he received medication in his mouth / by his cheek) and passed 30 mins later. Every dying person would benefit to be on hospice for at least a month prior to passing.
❤
I took care of my husband at home for 4 months and he died in our arms. Hospice came in 2 times a week. I wish I new more and was educated to know what was going to happen at the end. We were married for 51 years. Thank you for educating other people to let them know what to expect because we were so sad an distraught seeing him dieing to know what was happening! Hospice was not there to help us. I lost my Marine, my best friend, the love of my life.
@@JoAnnFortin-cr8hy I'm so, so sorry. ❤️ You will be reunited again.
My Dad was a Marine, too. They're special, aren't they? I'm very sorry for your pain. I'm sorry for mine, too.❤
Be thankful every single day for living with the love of your life for 51 years! What an absolute blessing that so few of us get to experience. Rejoice in that gift and know that death is not the end but the beginning of eternity. So many memories to cherish. So amazing!!!
Thank you for your service, Sir! Please know, your wife is supported emotionally and loved. I am confident she sees the signs you leave her. Rest well. I know you and she will be reunited after she crosses peacefully into your loving, competent arms-
THANK YOU! I have been haunted for 5 years from my sister's last breaths! She was making motions like a fish out of water. I thought she didn't have a peaceful death and it troubled me greatly. Now I know it was agonal breathing! The video was much like what I saw in my sister, but maybe just a little more animated in my sister (or maybe conflated in my memory). This was very informative and comforting to me. Thank you so much.
I was holding one of my many favorite clients' hands when she was passing over, and that is exactly the way I explained it.
"Like a fish out of water." I loved my people, my extended family, but I'm so glad I'm retired. It's not really good to watch life leave a body . Especially someone you love :'(
My husband was like your sister & unfortunately I did not have a great experience with our hospice nurse. It has stayed with me also, but Julie has helped to ease that pain. I send you hugs for those feelings at the time of losing your sister & hope you feel more at peace now.
I'm sorry for your loss.
I greatly appreciate this video. We all benefit from understanding what we might expect and know it is all a natural part of the dying process ... Not painful as you stated but "normal" the body shutting down. We can be comfortable, agonal breathing is not painful and as you state should NOT be "hidden".
Over 20 years ago I worked as a CNA . I saw a lot of people die but it was the most difficult thing was to be with my father when he died
At least I know that he made his peace with God
Birth is celebrated and widely available to observe...
Death, however, is (literally) cloaked in darkness - therefore compounds our fears towards the end of our existence .
Both are natural occurances and should be understood.
Thank you so very much, Julie, for being a beacon of light in the darkness ✨️ ❤️ xxxxx
I can't imagine anything about death to celebrate...the end of everything...it is very sad.
@vickieyoung7122 Oh gosh, no! What I meant was that it's a fact of life that if we are born, then so we must die.
It's good to be educated. Xxxx
No, quite the opposite actually. I've had a couple of NDEs due to anaphylactic shock from an unknown allergy at the time - (Alpha Gal)
Transitioning feels like being high or on nitrous. Colors get brighter, sounds seem more distant, yet louder.
Once you get past that feeling of impending doom that the body gives off as a danger signal, you start relaxing more & the thought of dying isn't scary, given how intense & yet peaceful these sensations become. You don't think about regrets so much as being grateful & focusing on the good things.
@@vickieyoung7122
Nothing at all to celebrate for sure. It brings great sadness and fear to me also. ❤
@@davinastanton3865 No, no. Have no fear. It's totally natural. Start watching JeffMara. You'll see.
My mother just passed on 2 weeks ago.
I was so blessed to be with her as she passed on.
I prayed, read the Bible, played Christian music, kept her comfortable by putting a wet sponge on her lips and tongue. She passed with great peace. She could her me talk to her. I told her how much I love her and thanks her for all she had done. I told her all about her family and Jesus coming to get her.
I kissed her and told her she was no longer a pilgrim here but that she was going home for eternity with God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and all of her loved ones!!
She passed just after I kissed her.
I miss her but know I will see her again when I go home. God bless.
Until we meet again moma! ❤
@@judymenard3287 God bless you for being so caring and loving to your mother during her final earthly moments. Catch you on the other side, kind stranger!
🙏❤️🙏
@judymenard3287 So sorry for your loss. She must be rejoicing in the presence of our Lord🙏
Not only youu, everyone who we love truly will be together connected. If reincarnated, we'll be with them related to them as we liked to be, in paradise too we'll be connected to them 🥰 so like I'm generally not sorry for your loss, I'm just happy that she's gonna be with God guiding you spiritually and you both will reunite again veryy veryyy sooonnm in terms of spiritual age (like 100 yrs is not big in terms of God) may her Soule rest in peace 🕊️💞
I'm a 30 year old guy and this is a beautiful story. Makes me want to cry. Wow.
I watched my husband pass from leukemia. He had a hospice nurse but she wasn't around when it happened. She actually didn't believe me when I called her that night saying he passed. She had been there that afternoon and thought he was still doing well. After she left, I realized he had cold legs and I knew he was going. I miss him tremendous, he wasn't just my husband, he was my best friend. ❤
Sorry for your loss, it’s so painful to lose the one that is closest to you. I hope your doing ok
SOS sorry for your loss. I hope you have peace.
Death is so incredible and different ..my grandmother was talking up a storm ..I even asked the nurse are you sure she is dying .. the nurse said it’s normal ..by the next day she passed.. it was a beautiful experienced to know she used her last bit of energy to love us .again 💕
Sorry for your loss!!!🙏🙏🙏
I am so very sorry for your loss. My mom will be 90 in two weeks. She was diagnosed with leukemia a year and a half ago. She has declined. She also had a stroke back in October. She declined some more. Can you offer any advice on what I need to look for in my mom to know when she might need to go on hospice. She can barely walk and is incontinent. She is in extreme pain when she moves from arthritis.
End of life should be as sacred as the beginning of life. My husband passed in 2007. He was 56 yrs old . He was unconscious and at home . Surrounded by family and friends. My hospice friend told😂 me to tell him it’s okay to go . I didn’t think he could hear or understand me. His body was shutting down & he could no longer eat or drink . So I sat by his side held his hand and said I will always love you and I am grateful to God for our life together. But you must go . No more worrying no more pain . I will be fine with the precious memories. And with that he had a huge exhale and was gone . Sharing the gift of going home should be as special as a new arrival. My granddaughters were 10 & 6 they were there as well and we all said this was Pop’s graduation to heaven . We will miss them and think of them often but such is life❤
Well spoken 😊
Hearing is the last to go.
Thank you for this. Makes end of life less scary.🙏
@@caroltaylor-hinds6050 just to let you know, something I didn’t add at that end something else happen . At the Wake those friend that were there for his last breathe told me they experienced the same thing I felt , when he exhaled it was as though a balloon full of air was let go and buzzing happily around the room . I know it seems silly but we all felt his joy & relief . It’s been 17 years , and I still cry missing him but the tears are less painful and more grateful 🙏🏼 ♥️💪🏼
I've been a nurse for 26 years and have been bedside for so many deaths...I see it exactly as you do! It has always been an absolute honor to see these people and be able to be part of making them comfortable and to be able to make it the best experience I can for the families. ❤
I watched my grandpa have a heart attack while we were snow machining. I was 14 and it was just us and we were out in the middle of nowhere. Its been 8 years and alot of healing but this video makes me feel more honored that I was there for his very last moments. Rest in peace Papa.
My condolences💔R.I.P.
Tragic special time.
K@@TerryManlove1
When my husband died, I was afraid. But hospice helped me. He died in peace. Thank Hospice
The same hospice helped me a lot. I had no other help because we lived in a state without family
🙏💐
Hospice in my home abused my mom! It was so bad, the coroner did an autopsy
@@LilByrdFly2
I am so sorry. ❤
I didn't have a lot of help with hospice either, they came first thing in the morning and it took days for her to leave. I was so scared and she was just like this sweet lady. I just couldn't be there like I should've and I now regret this so much. I'm sorry but not all hospice is not created equal, I wish they more of a comfort to me. I was in so much pain myself 😢
The death rattle I heard as I watched my mom die of brain cancer when I was 19 years old! I will never ever forget it.
I’m so sorry.
I can’t imagine how painful and scary that was.
@taramama6658 I was present when my mother died at 19 years old, too. It happened just over 2 years ago.
@@irelynegrega502 I am now 52 and I remember it like it was yesterday it is something that gets easier with time but the pain never truly goes away does it? Glad bless you honey.
@@taramama6658 that's rough sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry for your loss , no one should ever experience seeing their loveones in that state .. I hope you're doing well .. ♥️
Watched my 26 y.o. daughter go, now I am facing my time, thank you for helping + caring.❤ God calmed me then + He comforts me now.
I believe your daughter and God the Father will welcome you into the greatest peace and love you will ever know💜
Shortly before my grandmother passed, her daughter (my aunt) was with her. My grandmother told her there was a woman with dark hair waiting for her -- probably her mother. :) Perhaps your daughter will be waiting to help you go home. Bless you, and prayers for a peaceful journey. Hope to meet you there some day! :)
My grandma once told me "I never feel sad for the ones who die, I feel sad for those left behind". Since then with every funeral ive attended, i watch those attending, and I feel sad for them all. I often am not saddened by the persons passing, I mean I am but my sadness is based around those left behind.I view my own passing the same. I dont fear death, but I worry about my children and their lives after.
You are correct..being the one left behind is devastating and lonely...I know this first hand
That’s exactly how I feel.
My mom too says that those are left behind suffer the most and that’s true😢
I feel this exact same way
@@CQuinnLady I feel the same way in some aspects, I feel saddened if someone goes young because I know they probably have unfinished business. But people are going back into the comfortable cosmos. Everything that makes them up has always been here and always will be. They were comfortable for all of time before being alive, they'll be comfortable for all of time again after.
The more you know the less you fear imo
I was on life support for 2 weeks and I remember everything I felt miserable, I was cold, I was thirsty, I seen people that came to visit even though I was unconscious…….. I talked to a man who told me that my great aunt was in the same hospital as me. I asked him where was she; but he told me they came and took her away….. once off life support I told my uncle about my aunt and he was very surprised 😮 he told me she had passed away but we weren’t in the same hospital….. the living sees one thing the dying sees another. It wasn’t my time. I think life is the dream until you pass away; that’s when you wake up. Death is uncomfortable until it isn’t
Praise God your ok now..❤❤❤thank you Jesus ❤❤
This is exactly how it was going with my mother-in-law right before she passed away. It is absolutely important for people to see this.
This is exactly how my Mother sounded. Mama was on home Hospice care and my twin sister and I were taking care of her daily; with her nurse available by phone at all times. Hospice nurses are truly amazing and caring. Mama's nurse explained everything to my sister and I about what would happen and she gave us a booklet to read about what to expect at end of life. The fear was gone because of Mama's nurse because we knew what was happening at every stage. We used those sponge things to keep her mouth moistened and we played her Christian hymns in the background. Mama was 95 and went to Heaven on New Year's Eve 2022. We love you Mama ❤ God bless all Hospice nurses 🙏
Much love and comfort to you.❤
@@marlenea.6465 Thank you so much! 💛
My mother went through home hospice. I myself count on that for myself when I’m ready. Please know the people that were sent were absolutely perfect and I believe God was there. It was so beautiful and the room had a golden glow not from artificial lighting. Do not fear my friend. My love is with you. Please trust 🙌🏻❤️😘
She was blessed with a long, and, I hope, happy life and loving children who were with her through to the end.
@@elderlypoodle9181 Thank you so much; God bless 🌹
I'm 30. I was a caregiver to my aunt, and grandpa. I helped grandma in hospice care before she passed. My dad died in 2021 two days after Christmas. I didnt get to be there because he died at dialysis. I'm used to death now. I lost so many of the people i loved in such a short amount of time. I watched the color be gone from their face and life from their eyes. It changed me as a person too. Life is so short.
Very beautiful for sharing. I held my mother’s hand as she took her last breath. It was on my 50th birthday. I whispered to her that we were together in a hospital room 50 years ago that day, as she watched me take my first breath. I wouldn’t give anything for those last moments together. My brother and sister were in the room too, and although difficult, don’t be afraid to share these unforgettable moments.
Such a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.
@@rosebud6485 Thank you for sharing this. I held my father’s hand as he passed away on my 30th birthday and never thought of the fact that we were together when I took my first and while he took his last breaths. That makes it easier for me to feel better about celebrating my birthday on his death anniversary
That’s just how my husband was before he passed away. I know he wasn’t in pain those six days he was in hospice. He looked peaceful. It’s just that the sounds are kind of frightening, but they told me he’s not in any pain at all. I could tell by the color of the skin that it wasn’t going to be very long and it was no sooner than I went home that night that he passed an hour later, still get mail from the hospice center asking how I’m doing. They were incredible.
I JUST HAPPENED TO STUMBLED ACROSS THIS CHANNEL NOT SURE WHY IT POPPED UP BUT I'M GLAD I CLICKED ON IT. IT'S VERY INFORMATIVE IN A PROFESSIONAL WAY
just lettin you kno ur caps lock is ON
I'm kind of similar. I sometimes look up medical lectures and surgical procedures, but this came up kind of unexpectedly, and I don't think I've looked up any hospice topics. It was a good, informative video.
In less than 11 minutes, you've taught the general public, more than what I got in the classroom. My first day in trauma, my first hour, I experienced my first death. Was tough. I never really got to witness the natural process, until much later. In my experience, most of the time, it's not a struggle for the dying person, but it's especially hellish, for the family. You and this family are to be commended. You've provided something wonderful in this experience. 👍
@@orbs1062 agree, I’ve been there for my grandmother, mother, and father’s death at elderly ages. All of them went thru this. It was really difficult and it bothered me a lot… even to this day. However, after watching this - it brought some understanding and comfort as to what took place.
My sister died at a dialysis appointment last week. She passed quickly and unexpectedly. She was 50 and a few days prior, she said she was going to die this next week and those with her were shocked by the comment. She knew she was going to die and it’s insane to know her statement and then dying in her appointment. I’m so sad and shocked. I do appreciate your channel because it has brought so much comfort to so many.
@@wowzatrishiebunz I'm so sorry for your loss.
Bless your heart. Bless you as you grieve.
🍃💕🦋
@@wowzatrishiebunz prayers and love I am so sorry for your loss!
Thank you for sharing and wishing you healing 🙏
As a longtime Paramedic it breaks my heart when I go to scenes where this is the case and loved ones do not understand it is end of life. Thank you for this and to the family that allowed these videos to be shared. It’s important more people understand this.
most of society used to know what death looked like. We really became far removed from it. Thank you Julie!
My mom is dying, stage 4 COPD and dementia. I feel so prepared for reality now. I don’t feel scared to lay with my mom while she dies. Thank you Nurse Julie.
❤
🙏💖
I’m so sorry.
This is the exact reason she does what she does with her videos and book and I think it’s so amazing! I’m so glad you have some comfort knowing what to expect and as prepared as one can be when the time comes. Death has also been a topic that is never discussed even though it’s something every single one of us go through at some point personally and also with our loved ones.
I lost my dad back in May. He also had dementia and COPD. I'm so sorry 💔 😢
I lost my Dad May 29, 2023....I was there with him...the hospice staff and nursing home staff were there as well. I really, really, really miss my Daddy 😢😢😢
Me too. I've got no one to talk to now.
Thank you Julie and to the family who allowed this video of their dying loved ones to be shown. I have been tormented, have frequent flashbacks and have had no peace for the ten months since my father passed. I thought he suffered and was gasping for air. I am crying with relief and can have peace now for the first time since he died. ❤
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Be well dear...you were there for him💖🙏
I am so glad you found this and that now you know what was really happening, it must have been a nightmare for you these past months. God bless 🙏❤
❤❤❤
This was too painful to watch. This was my mother in February of this year. I stayed with her until she died. Thank you to the family for sharing this footage with the world.
@@baigish100 I am so sorry for your loss.
@@baigish100 same here, 2 years ago. I’m glad I watched this though because this whole time I thought my mother was gasping for air and choked to death. I’m so relieved this is normal and it looked exactly like this. Sorry for your loss
Sorry for your loss ❤
I’m not frightened of the actual dying process. I’m frightened of what comes after… and if that is nothing… that scares me the most. I close my eyes sometimes and try to imagine nothingness, a void, blackness, no conscious thought… and it terrifies me. I know I won’t know… and yet, it still frightens me. Perhaps it’s the thought that I haven’t done enough in the living stage. I don’t even know if any of that makes sense. It’s difficult to explain
Why? do you remember before you were born? No. That's how I feel about death. I won't know. I fear pain with the lead up - I do not want a painful drawn out death.
@@KinjiUrba I suffer from a severe pain disorder .. so I’m very comfortable with physical pain. It’s my whole existence. It’s the thought of no existence that scares me. The nothingness. I’ve existed so pre-birth was before the conscious thought I have now. It’s not the same to me personally. Maybe it’s like a said, the fear of not having done things I wish I had done. I don’t know. All I know is that when I try to imagine it, it frightens me.
@@kiwigirljacks My point is that I was unaware of the fact I existed before I was born and a don't even recall being born or my very early birthdays or anything. I feel as though death will be like being born into something else that goes beyond my comprehension to understand, and therefore I won't know the difference.
If a person is no longer alive, they would miss nothing and not know what to miss. They are no longer conscious here on earth.
I relate this a bit to people fearing cremation after death. If you are dead already why fear that? However, they don't think about what the morgue will do be removing all of their blood and replacing it with Formaldehyde.
Your opinion is of course worth as much as mine on any matter. I just wish I could help you with that fear and perhaps think about it a bit differently.
I've personally faced my mortality with 2 cancer diagnoses. The 2nd being stage 4a Head & Neck. I had to learn to come to terms with something and religion certainly isn't my choice with. I don't even personally like the "God" that Christians worship. If he had a plan, he needs a new one.
I believe there is probably something bigger than us that we just don't comprehend. It's probably best that way. I'll bet being born was surely not a fun and comfortable day for me either. Death seems to be similar on the way out, just reversed.
@@KinjiUrba I appreciate your way of thinking. And I envy you in the way you can approach death. I of course can logically understand that once I’m dead there is no longer any conscious thought and no fear or pain. But while I’m living I can’t help but think about not existing any longer and feel a sadness about it.
I was brought up very religious. But even the teaching of resurrection which was supposed to bring comfort in seeing dead loved ones again, or the idea of living again (in whatever form that takes), never gave me solace because I never aligned myself truly with the concepts and therefore did not think I would be receiving a ‘resurrection’. So I think that upbringing affected me greatly because I never felt good enough to get that ‘reward’ and therefore I would simply no longer exist. In my adulthood, I’ve struggled with knowing what comes next. Perhaps that’s where this all stems from. I choose mostly not to think about it much now, because that’s my coping mechanism.
Sorry for what you went through. It sounds like you are indeed very strong to have come through that and maintained a mental fortitude!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic. I appreciate others perspectives, even if I may never reach that same level of acceptance ✌️
@@kiwigirljacks I wish I could email you at this point. I'm so sorry that you are so afraid and I wish you could find a way to make peace with death. It happens to us all, remember? You sure aren't alone!
I held my fathers hand until the very last breath, I told my father how much I loved him and that he was the best dad I could ever hope for.
I was my mothers care taker and was with her when she went home to be with her Savior. It was the most BEAUTIFUL thing I've ever seen. She looked SO beautiful and peaceful. I leaned down and kissed her telling her I would see her again ❤❤
It bothers me when people don’t want to be with their loved ones as they leave this earth. I was holding my mother’s hand as she took her last breath and wouldn’t give anything for that. I was on the interstate when my dad passed because I didn’t make it there in time. My mother and siblings were there though and that comforts me.
Amen!
Thank the family that let you show the videos and thank you for showing them and explaining them. Death is hard enough on the family without also being afraid that your family member is suffering.
My Dad died of brain cancer this February and this was exactly how he died. It was loud but thankfully I had watched some of Nurse Julie’s videos and knew what was coming and that gave my Mom and myself tremendous relief
🙏❤️🙏
Sorry for your loss❤
@@shannonhondo260 sorry for your loss 🫂
My mother passed away June 9,2024. Some of her children were moistening her lips and inner cheeks with the sponge when she bit down. It was at once alarming, then kinda funny as they all looked at each other saying “now what do we do??!!” After a few minutes her jaw muscles relaxed again and the sponge was removed. Nursing staff said that commonly happens. Be prepared but don’t try to pull it out until the loved one releases their jaw muscles.
@@vjdalady I’m so sorry I’m going through it now
@@2000w_king my thoughts and prayers are with you. Be in the moment with your loved one.
I watched my mom die naturally. Thank you for explaining the sights and sounds that never left me.
If it wasn't for you, then my dad and I would not have been prepared for when my precious mam was taken by pancreatic cancer.
May God bless you 🙏 xxxxx
so sorry for your loss
I have dementia and you help me so much.
I think my momma left this earth before any of the actual dying happened. She reached to the ceiling, and talked to people..and was so enchanted to see them..children too.
I wish I could know more about this lovely lady. This departure video is an important part of her life, but I know there’s so much more.
What did she do for fun? Did she have pets? Who was her very best friend?
Did she work somewhere with people she laughed with…and people who got on her last nerve?
Did she travel?
Collect green stamps?…sing?…play bingo?
It all matters. Because she mattered. And she always will.
This is beautiful , made me tear up TBH , I hope she had a happy life and is at peace now 🕊️
@@suesmith3744 thank you so much!
@@lauranorwar I read the comment from the woman in this video who is still alive 13 months out….scroll & read
@@kimlarsothat’s not the same lady in this video is it? I didn’t read it that way. She was telling her she’s the one that’s actually dying now not just a commenter. This lady in the video is no longer here.
Awww....what a lovely comment 🥰🥰
I was with my twin sister and held her as she passed from breast cancer. Since I was born first I must have also witnessed her first breaths. Being there for her last breaths was such a privilege. She had been non-verbal for about a week and had her eyes shut until the very end when she opened them briefly. I'm not sure she saw me, but the hospice nurse encouraged me to talk to her because hearing is apparently the last sense we lose. I hope she knew how much I loved her and wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else for her last moments. She breathed very much like the lady in the video. What I was shocked by was how gray my sister's fingers were. Thank you for sharing this and thank you to that lovely lady's family for allowing you to post this.
Thank you for sharing that tender, unique love with us. I am sure she felt you there, and felt your love.
I truly believe the hearing stays aware. My beloved uncle responded when I spoke to him about my work (we were/are both LEO) and he got a bit riled up. I think he just wanted to "talk shop" like we used to but couldn't. Then when his son was praying over him "God please take this man" phewwwww, he gave him an earful. Of course it wasn't words, but I'm pretty sure I could interpret the grunts and growls as "I'll go when I'm ready!!" Miss him so much
@@Cheryl-t7b i am a twin, can't imagine
Hospice was a godsend for us while my grandma was dying. They gave us so much support. I wouldn't have been able to get thru it without them.
My mother was the sole caretaker of my quadriplegic stepfather for 45 years,.Before she died (a month ago), she was complaining that she needed someone to take care of her, both physically and mentally, and was severley depressed. I couldn't be there for her as I live in a different country.
She spent the last couple of months in a beautiful hospice, surrounded by the most wonderful staff who she loved dearly, and got all the attention she was craving, I was blessed to be there with her in her last days and witness how calm and happy she was when she passed away. I truly admire the wonderful work hospice nurses and doctors do, there are no words to describe how grateful I am.
1st, your Mother was already a Saint for taking care of your Father for 45 years. I am so glad that she was surrounded by these wonderful doctors, nurses and attendants in her final weeks. They are incredible people.
I wish I knew this before my husband died!! I was TERRIFIED!!! I wish I could get a do over!! RIP MY LOVE!!! ❤❤
That's why this is so important to watch and understand!!! I am sure you did just fine! Bless you.
You did your best dear....you did your best🙏💖
I’m so sorry.
I’m sure you were terrified.
May God bless your sweet soul.
I wasn’t able to be there when my wife died, and it really hurt.
I don’t know which is worse, but my heart aches for you.
Very helpful video.
As a retired mortician, funeral Director I have been present at several deaths and hospice is such a great organization. If I can add anything from experience, then it would be that after death air can still be located in the lungs and moving the body can cause a final exhalation which I have explained to a bereaved family more than once. It can be a very, very sad field to work in , but very personally rewarding as well.
you have to give a lot of yourself.
however, what personally sustains me is my faith in knowing that it does not end at the grave.
My grandpa wasn't on hospice, he was in a VA hospital with copd. He didn't do this, he just kept saying over and over that the devil was coming to get him and he did not go down easy. He was very abusive in life. My granny, the main object of his abuse, lived 25 more years and she just slipped away with a smile. So happy we didn't have to deal with the death rattle. Just give me a massive dose of morphine before this happens to me. PLEASE.
Romans 3:27-28-And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment:
28 So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation.
The A B C's of salvation:
A-Admit that you are a sinner
Romans 3:10
Romans 3:23
B- Believe that Jesus is Lord , died for your sins and rose from the dead.
Romans 5:8
Romans 6:23
C- Call upon his name.
Romans 10:9
Romans 10:13
SAME!!!! My mom was NOT at peace when she went. She was a very good woman and had nothing to fear, but something in the room was frightening her. I still can't get it out of my mind 20 years later.
@@charleneneisler7596 🤦🏻♀️
Me too
@charleneneisler7596
Thank you. May God bless❤❤❤❤❤
I was fortunate enough to discover your channel before my father passed. When he began the process of dying, I had a better understanding of what was happening thanks to your channel.
1:37 My sister was euthanized 3 months ago... That's exactly what it was like! I wasn't prepared....
@@Ultra-Luminary I'm so sorry why did they euthanize her I'm praying for y'all
I’m a volunteer with 11 th hr. We helped 2 Angels go home in this week. I really wish families could watch a video like this as soon as there family member goes on hospice. If it’s there fist time watching someone die, they have a hard time excepting their loved one is not suffering. Thank you for all you do Julie.
Can you post info on becoming this kind of volunteer?
I wish people could watch it so m uh sooner to start to reconcile the inevitable for us all. The end shouldn’t be so mysterious or scary. Knowledge is important. This way the medical system can’t easily traumatize people with “you’re going to die”. We already know that. And so are you lol
Thanks again Julie for educating us as well as to the family for allowing Julie to share this video.
I’m a retired ER and ICU physician. I’ve watched many people at the end of life. Your videos are excellent and I wish more people would watch them. I always know when a family has seen this process before with another loved one and how much better they handle it the next time. Keep showing these and it will make a difference, I’m certain. Thank you. 🙏
I have a sad story for you my dad passed away from Alzheimer's and cancer and after he passed away my mom was devastated and I think she grieved over my dad's passing she was on oxygen and setting up and eating a little bit but eventually she just got tired of her pain from losing her husband and everyday I think about them and hope to see them one day
That must have been very painful for you. They are together and all their pain is gone.
And you will see them again GOD promises that😢❤
Thanks for this, Julie. When my husband died three years ago, it was during the Covid-19 pandemic and I was not able to remain at his bedside in his final moments. However, when I arrived at the hospital in the afternoon before he passed away, he was already unconscious, but I knew from my understanding of the dying phases that he could still hear me, so I spoke to him for a long time and the hospital Chaplain came to bless him and we recited the Lord's Prayer together and the Chaplain read a few short scriptures that were comforting. My husband wasn't afraid of dying but was worried about leaving loved ones behind, and the combination of prayers and healing helped him to let go of his physical body and allow his spirit to move on. He had been physically unwell for quite some years before he died, so losing him physically was hard, and yet I knew it was his time and that his spirit could not live in his body anymore. My husband died in peace. Death is still a taboo subject and is avoided as a topic of ordinary conversation, and yet it is nothing to be afraid of. It is just a transition to the afterlife. A year and a half after my husband's death, my stepdaughter found out she was pregnant and a little girl was born, so my husband's genes live on through his daughter and granddaughter, which brings me a lot of comfort. Sometimes I see a glimpse of him when she smiles. I have so much respect for Hospice Nurses and staff who look after the terminally ill and dying. Death is as sacred as birth.
Thanks for your wonderful comment.
Bless all nurses
I understand what that feels like. My father passed away during the pandemic and I was unable to see him after the ambulance took him. Had the pandemic not been around, I think I may have had more trauma related to seeing the condition he was in.
I literally felt part of my heart be ripped from my body, holding my mum's hand watching her take her final breath. I've never been the same since.
I'm sorry you had that experience .Being a Nurse , and being aware how difficult it can be without Hospice or a Nurse in room explaining what you are seeing and why could certainly be upsetting .We'll all have to do this , and being aware of the process of dying hopefully will stop it from being so emotional .Maybe expose yourself to the process more to help you heal . Your Mother is with the Creator from where she came .❤
@@dianet467 It wasn't anything to do with what I was seeing, her passing was very peaceful. It was simply the fact I'd lost my mum and best friend. I still miss her and am forever changed.
My dad passed from lung cancer so peacefully, no obvious signs, heavily sedated with pain relief. Just took one last breath in and that was it RIP DAD
My mum passed from lung cancer too. She was the same, no obvious signs, heavily sedated, one last breath
@@tylahoc9271 I think we are lucky.
@@chrissymasters4987 absolutely!! I remember sitting there watching mum, waiting for the death rattle and all the other signs we are told about. Instead it was such a peaceful beautiful passing
you sound fortunate!--sorry for his passing!!!
Same with my Mom. None of the breathing shown in video. She just opened her eyes.
Thanks to the family for allowing us to see these videos and thank you for explaining them. I was with both my parents when they died and now I finally know what they did was very normal and natural. It has been about 30 years and now I finally have peace. Thank you so much.
I took care of my dad his last 24 days of life! Was something I never want to experience again! When he lost his mind is what done it for me! I gave him his medicine to keep his rattle down, and he never did that. He wasn’t there the last 2 days. I miss him dearly even though we didn’t get a long
Thank you, Julie! I'm not scared anymore!👍
Im still scared
@@Motorider50 I'm so sorry. 😢 I think it turned so suddenly and went downhill so fast, it hadn't really sunk in. Mostly what's freaking me out is worry about my dog - who will take her and love her. No one will even step up to watch her so I can get to the ER when I need to, so worry for her has taken my focus off of me. I'm nervous about going through it alone, so I hope it's fast. Meanwhile, I'm praying for an earthly angel to be there for her. Take care!
@@Sherry-hj6ku no family anywhere for your pup?
I'm terrified of that death rattle. It seems like I'd suffocate to death and this is my worst fear.
@@Moneymaster1999 I’ve hospices a few people now. The medications they provide relaxes your breathing and takes away any pain. You’ll be unconscious by the time you have death rattle. Don’t be scared. 🙏❤️🪽🪽
Please thank the family for us. Thank you for showing us the most private moment of this dying woman. It helps to understand.
this was actually really nice to learn. when my grandma was dying, i saw a few of these signs before we took her to hospital and it was very scary at the time. she died peacefully on morphine. we believe some part of her knew my birthday was coming up and that she was waiting for it to pass. sure enough, she passed 2 days after my birthday. rip grandma i love you! ❤️🩹
Thank you for explaining the differences in breathing during active dying. A special thank you to the family for sharing their videos with us, my sincere condolences on their loss.
this video would have been extremely helpful when my grandma was passing in hospice. At 23, it was my first experience with death/being around an actively dying person. I really think this video will help a lot of people. Thank you, Julie!
My mother was breathing the same shallow breaths right before she passed. She was aware and able to hear. I thanked her for being such a good mother and she tried to talk. Before she became very ill she would frequently see her deceased parents at the front door.
Julie, you help in more ways than you know. Animals do this too. Recently, we had to put my daughter's dog to sleep. My daughter was extremely upset, losing her best friend. Anyway, the vet explained what we might see. And because of your videos, I was familiar with what the vet was saying. My daughter was crying & didn't really understand. So, as our Lucy (my daughter's dog) was going thru these stages, I was able to tell her what to expect next & I think it helped her thru it. Especially the agonal breathing part. It really does look horrible if you're not prepared. I was able to explain it to her, so I believe her sadness was losing her best friend instead of fear that Lucy was suffering. It made me feel better, and I believe it helped my daughter, too. Thank you for what you do.
I watched my brother taken off life support. He was given a sedative before the device came out of his mouth. He took a few breaths out of his mouth. The process took 10 minutes. His organs failed due to a life long addiction to alcohol. He passed peacefully with his family around him.
Sorry for your loss, may he rest in peace
❤️🙏❤️
I made the choice to remove my Dad and my husband off life support. Both were brain dead. Last thing I told my Dad was I think I’m pregnant, but you can’t tell anyone. Needless to say he didn’t. My husband was also brain dead. Removed him off life support. Covid was running rampant I was very sick and my daughter made me go home and she and my son in law stayed with him. She washed his face combed his hair and cleaned his beard up. Was holding his hand when he left for his new journey. It’s been 3 years still miss him married for 34 years. And life goes on.
Hi Julie, I want to thank you. My mother passed away 6 weeks ago. She was 95 and had dementia. I discovered your channel just a couple of weeks before, and if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have known what was going on. I am so grateful to know that she died peacefully in her sleep and didn’t suffer.
My thanks to the folks who gave you this video to share.
It's important to see videos of the realities of life and death. Thanks for this.
I watched my dad go through this as a teenager. This is such an important video. I hope it stays up forever.
This reminded me of my Mother. She was at home on Hospice and would have those fluids and get coughing attacks like she was chocking and this would happen day and night and went on for one week before she passed so we would need to stay with her day and night. My Father in Law went through the same but in the Hospital and he got the drops to dry his throat. It made a huge difference
I'm here because my mother is dying.
We're incredibly estranged but I went to see her. She was yelling at me for not bringing her granddaughter. Yelling at me for childhood things. I left because i couldn't bring her more distress, but my heart breaks because I never wished harm on her, just for her to stop messing with my job and marriage.
I'm guessing she's so scared, that she isn't going to be thinking straight until the end.
I still went and told her i loved her. I can't do much more than that.
@@RayeBlevins you did the right thing. Don't blame yourself for anything, it's not your fault. She knows you loved her.
You did exactly the right thing. ❤Your mother sounds as if she had a mental illness of some kind.
You have a beautiful birb.
Do what you need to do to be at peace with yourself, in your heart. I'm proud of you for protecting yourself and your children. ❤
My mother was so different and I guess not common. She had dementia and passed away right in front of me. She smiled and simply went to sleep and was gone. It was super fast. She was very lucky to go so peacefully especially after watching this video.
My mother, father and brother went through the breathing stages until end of life. Thank you for sharing this video for others who may not be aware of the various breathing moments.
This needs to be shown to anyone working in healthcare or in senior care, even in non-medical roles. I work in an administrative role but also help with laundry in an assisted living facility. I've briefly seen the actively dying phase a few times, and this can also be scary for well-meaning staff who don't know what actively dying actually looks like. It's important for staff, family members, and everyone who may see someone in their final moments to understand what is happening.
This isn't known enough... even in senior care.
I'm surprised there's no training for the job beforehand. This is a problem in many service industries. You'd think we would have that figured out by now.
@@websurfer5772 It's shocking how few of our training videos even mentioned death, considering the nature of senior care.
A few mentioned code status and respecting DNRs if a resident is unresponsive, but those videos were more about CPR. There was only ONE training video specifically about death, but it was about what to do after a resident passes.
The dying process was never mentioned in any part of our training, and it should be. I learned about it by seeing it and asking an experienced caregiver what was happening.
@@Stridefully That's very upsetting, really. Well, is there any kind of campaign people can start to raise awareness about this?
3:08 wait is it unconsciously or subconsciously
Thank you, thank you, thank you for letting Nurse Julie show your relative peacefully crossing over. ❤🙏🏻
Saw the breathing changes with my mom in hospice. It is natural so knowing that helps.
I wish I had seen this video before my dad had passed. When he stopped was shocking and I had to call my sister to rush home from work to be with him. If I had known, I would have told her not to go to work so we could all be together as a family at peace instead of panicking.
The videos brought back memories of the sounds he made, I didnt realize how strong he was to hold on during his cancer battle because his active dying phase only lasted for less than 12 hours. I miss him so much he was my strength and learning how to be an adult without him has been one of the hardest phases of life I've had to do. I hope I can be as strong as him one day.
Sorry if the format isn't well, I don't want to go back and edit this. Just speaking from the heart.
I was in a forum today and she's got anxiety, her mom is drying. I suggested your videos and your book. Maybe she will be less anxious about her mom.
I lost my Mother in April 2021. The death rattle was the absolute hardest thing to hear. I literally thought she was drowning. So when you explained this, just as our Hospice nurse did, that day, it brought me back to that moment. I wish I would have been aware before it occurred and could have made it better for her and stayed by her side. I had to step away because I couldn't stop sobbing. And didn't want that to be the last thing she heard. Her best friend just kept rubbing her head and telling her it was ok to go. Heartbreaking moment. I'll never forget. Thank you for explaining this to those who do not understand. 💔
When I was nearing retirement and in the SEVERE burnout phase, it didn’t occur to me to watch videos. I was feeling like I knew nothing, everything was all scattered, my decision-making was off, etc, etc. So I’d try to read up on stuff to straighten it all out in my head. Except that I couldn’t focus on reading! What a mess. I wish I had thought about watching videos like this.
What a sweet demeanor you have. I could totally see your videos providing me hope and help during that time.
You may quote me. Lol
I brought mama home for hospice per her wishes. She didn't want to be "doped up in a cold room, unable to respond to anyone but hearing them" (her words). Her caregiver and the visiting hospice nurse helped me tremendously through the process. The only obstacle was giving her pain medication on a schedule per the nurse. Mama abruptly came out of slumber, told the nurse she would let us know when she was in pain and wanted medication only at that time. The nurse relented then. Thank you and the family for sharing this. I'm sure it will be helpful to many. Condolences on losing their precious loved one.
I’m terrified by these images but boy did I need to see them. I don’t know if I could handle this.
I get you, but in reality, it is actually peaceful. I was with my 94 year on father and 49 year old nephew as they went through the last stages of life. Witnessing this has made me totally unafraid of dying. It is truly beautiful. ♥️🙏
I was with my Daddy when he took his last breath. He wasn't on hospice, though. He had a heart attack a week before, but when he fell, he struck the back of his head and neck area. He broke his brain stem, and at the hospital, they did not realize he was brain dead and put in a place maker, but he didn't come back. We only had him on life support for less than a week, they had placed him on life support while waiting for his siblings to make it to FL from KY. They were with us to make the final decision but had left early Saturday morning. He passed at 7pm that night, 25 years ago. I was with him and told him it was fine to go home, that i loved him and would always love and miss him! He actually fluttered his eyes at me, smiled, and took his last breath. Only God knows why he smiled. Was he giving me his last smile, or was he seeing maybe his parents and baby son that had already passed? He was the first of 7 children to pass in his family, but now there is only 1 left. I love and miss this man more than words can explain💔❤️.
I pray this precious one had a mostly joyful life. Thank you to her family for allowing us to learn through her. Thank you Hospice Nurse, for this lesson. I agree, knowledge takes the fear out of these kinds of situations. Be Blessed.
Thank you Ms Julie for sharing something that helps others have some perspective ❤
I witnessed my grandfather’s death. He was terrified and it was very difficult to watch him fight it.
My grandmother, on the other hand, was experiencing a peace that I can’t put into words.
I’m not going to delve into the belief in an afterlife: but I will say my grandmother knew she was going to heaven and faced death with excitement.
This had a profound impact on my own spiritual development.
God bless all of you.
@@freeman7079 I read a book about creditable people who have had near death experiences after my dad passed, and they ALL had very similar experiences. We will see our loved ones again. It will be amazing. ❤️❤️❤️
This was exactly how my mother passed away. Thank you for sharing this so people understand.
This is exactly how my daddy passed away. I was there holding his hand, and he raised up and was gasping for air, or so I thought. It was very scary for me, and I assumed for him too. I was the only one in the room at the time and thought I had done something wrong as far as telling them to increase his morphine. Thank you for sharing this. Now I realize everything that happened during his passing was normal, and he wasn't in pain. Thank you ❤
Thanks for posting this. It may make some people uncomfortable to watch, but I find it educational and reassuring. So much of the dying process is shrouded in mystery by our culture.
This is so educational and NEEDS to be seen. It was quite something for me, honestly, but I'm super glad I witnessed it so I can adequately prepare myself. My mom was a nurse in frail care at an old age home for most of her working life, but she never told us kids this. Maybe she thought it would be traumatic.
The death rattle doesn’t happen with all patients.
When my father passed he was in the hospital attached to heart monitor. I was callled in, he asked about the kids, asked nurse for a wash, then just laid back and died. He had developed pneumonia that same day, died at midnight. It still fascinates me of his . He was verbal right until his last breath
@@ElizabethMatek yes, there are many ways a person can die without a death rattle and i am speaking of those actively dying specifically not someone falling off a building or other sudden or unusual deaths.
Very true
Longtime Canadian supporter here to thank you so much for the calm logic you inject into a process and an eventuality Western societies (in particular) struggle with. Knowledge is power, including understanding how our bodies are “programmed” to die.
Your videos - and your extensive lived experience as a hospice nurse - do a great kindness to those who follow you (or who just stumble across your channel via algorithm), as it’s a reality we’re all faced with.
I've seen it in my mum and aunts dying of cancer.. I've seen all the stages of death 😢
Thank you for sharing 🙏🏼
Thank you to the family for allowing us to experience this!