My mom was like this off and on for a couple days before she died. Ten minutes before she died, she tried to get out of bed stating she needed her coat, shoes and purse because her dad , who died 30 years before, was coming to get her.
He most likely did come, at least to the extent that she could see, or know he was coming to escort her on her final earthly journey. There are numerous accounts of this happening shortly before death occurs. It’s been the topic of much research and some that I’ve been interested to hear is by Peter Fenwick, a British neuropsychiatrist, neurophysiologist and parapsychologist who has done in-depth studies with the dying and of near-death experiences.
To the families who allow us to view and learn from their videos. THANK YOU, for the strength to share what can be a very disconcerting at the time. I send strong hugs to you.
@Rebecca_Bailey when they give permission, it is a different story. No names are given, unless you know the families shown, there is no way to find them.
I was alone at my mother’s home with her when she died. The night before she did get agitated. The hospice nurse told me on the phone to give her more meds. I did and she calmed down but didn’t regain her consciousness . I wished I would have had access to this video before. But even 14 years later it finally gives me relief. Thank you for what you do!!!
Same situation with me. It’s been almost 19 years and I finally have an answer for why my mom did this the last night she was in her home and own bed. She’d asked me to be her hospice for as long as possible after her lung cancer diagnosis. She passed 3 days after she did this and we were blessed to be able to get her in hospice the last 3 days of her life. I’m grateful for this video because I finally have an answer and I’m very sorry for your loss.
One of the things which still haunts my sister, whose husband died at the end of a dementia journey, was that death isn't necessarily the quiet and peaceful thing she was expecting. Her husband's agitation was unexpected for her and she associated it with his being in great pain and distress. It's taken lots of talking to persuade her that, just like birth, dying is quite an active process and it doesn't always mean that the person dying is suffering. And that some simple measures can help to bring calm. It would have been so much easier for her to digest if she had seen your videos ahead of his passing. You are offering us the privilege of learning what dying is really all about and it is an education which is sadly missing for so many of us until we are thrust into the heart of it, and it can leave us traumatised. Thank you so much.
I totally understand how your sister felt. I had the same experience with my mom. I was traumatized for a long time. I felt like my mom was suffering and trying to tell me something. I felt so helpless.
I watched both my parents die of cancer as a teenager and it was very traumatic at the end both times. I had no idea what could happen. I couldn’t watch the family videos you featured however, this is an excellent use of TH-cam- normalising something that mostly remains hidden in our culture. Good on Julie 💜
My husband tossed,turned,flopped,flailed,failed, cursed,and sweated the whole time,for about 5 hours, thinking he couldn't sleep because he had slept all day this just past Nov.10. He had had no other sign anything was wrong except a headache. He also had a stroke in the past,a heart,and dementia.He was in his recliner in our bedroom,still at it ,flinging himself around complaining of being hot,when I finally dozed off a few minutes after 2 am. I awoke a few minutes after 5 to discover him still in the recliner,apparently asleep. Wrong. He was already pale and starting to cool.
@@ghayes6237 How brave of you to recount this for all of us, but how interesting and informative too. Thank you. We do need to know in order to help us cope better with the process of dying.
My father had horrible terminal agitation with sudden-onset dementia. He forgot who I was. He thought I was a horrible nurse who was trying to kill him. Sometimes he knew who I was and he would say horrible, awful things to me. He physically assaulted me several times. It was a nightmare. I will never get the image out of my sight of him crawling around the hospital bed in a diaper trying to escape, flinging his legs over the bar, fighting with me, trying to hurt me...saying horrible things. I didn't sleep hardly at all the last 4 weeks of his life. The night before he died, I couldn't believe the strength he had. The last thing he said to me was "Get your hands off of me, you f-ing b--ch!" As I was trying to keep his legs inside the rails. The next day, he was heavily medicated and nvr regained consciousness. It was especially hard because I had always been his "darling girl" and he was so kind and sweet. 😢😢😢 I suffered PTSD afterward and needed counseling. I wish someone had prepared me better. Thank you for doing this.❤
I am so sorry you had such a challenging experience with your father🥺. He was blessed to have you by his side. My significant other exhibited extreme agitation for a few days and it was so frightening... Hopefully we can grow from these experiences and be useful to someone else because of them, somehow... even if it's just because of our ability to empathize. Wishing you peace and comfort❤!
Thank you to everyone who allows these videos to be shared. It's very helpful to those who are going through the difficulties of losing a loved one as well as those who fear the dying process. It does seem scary, but it is normal. Our bodies are made to do these things. Education is very important for the person who is at their end of life and those who love someone going through this journey.
Well said. Have watched Nurse Julie for quite a while & have seen other videos she's posted. Bless these families who send her these videos, while still grieving, to help others. They have my thanks and respect❤
I wish I had seen this before my dads death in 2019. He was very agitated all night on the medical floor doe decompensated liver disease, his BP was tanking, he had been seeing things all night, thinking he was in a boat. They said they didn’t know the problem so they mobilized him to the ICU. But when I saw him I knew he was dying. No one else seemed to realize it. They thought maybe he was septic and wanted to put in central lines. He had been living with HCC for more than 4 years and had recently withdrawn socially. In the ICU he was very restless, asking for things, we had to keep lifting him up in bed because he was so restless he was sliding down in bed. Picking at sheets. Said he “felt awful” denied being scared. I decided to discontinue everything and give him medication to calm him down. He died within 20 minutes of doing so. I always though death was peaceful but without those medications it would not have been so.
When my mom was dying, her clothes and covers became a huge problem for her, so we let her just rest naked. My husband was OK with that. They were very close. We covered her up if we were expecting someone like a doctor or nurse, but, bless mom's heart, she couldn't stand material against her skin. She came to stay with us as she was dying of pancreatic cancer. I took 30 days off work. She died on the 29th day. ❤
Again, my Dad. He was passing from leukemia and they basically had him in a medically induced coma. He was still very agitated. The doctors said it wasn't pain, but changed his medication to Valium, and he appeared much calmer. It was done more for our sake than his. It is comforting to now understand that this is just the process that we go thru. God bless.
I'm glad the doctor changed his mind and gave him Valium. You said it calmed both your dad and you, so that was nice. It's hard to lose a parent, you have my sincere sympathies❤
@laurierice7687 , thank you. It was a long time ago and I don't think there was much knowledge of the actual process. I am grateful for this channel to better understand.
Since these are videos sent in by viewers, I assume they're at peace with the deaths enough to share these videos. In most cases, young deaths aren't ones that people are very at peace with and so there's probably not going to be many people documenting it the way they would with an older person. But since most of these phenomena are biological, I'd assume the same happens with younger people who die on hospice as well. Their body would still shut down in the same way and their brain would signal the same as an old person, right?
Having been there while both my father & father in law passed, I noted that the day before they passed the agitation began. Recently my sister was admitted to hospital with septic shock. I spoke with her the day of and the day after being admitted. She seemed fine except for her breathing. I heard from the doctor & her son, that she was getting better everyday. So I was shocked to see her 4 days later. She did not seem better to me at all. One thing that really bothered me was how agitated she was. While I was there, the Dr came around & told me she was on “the road to recovery”. When I mentioned the agitation to him, he blew it off. When I left, I knew that would be the last time I saw her alive. She passed early the next morning. It still bothers me how the doctor ignored what was clearly a sign that she was not recovering! I hope that doctors will watch this video & take away what are signs of end of life. 😢
How awful by the doctor to ignore signs of her getting worse, I really hope they took all the tests before and saw if the medication was not working for the septic chock or if it was just too much for her body.
My brother died in Sept after battling for 2 years with bone cancer. He picked at the sheets and constantly wanted us to keep moving him up the bed and lift his leg. Thank you for posting this as at the time I was so upset and felt I had failed him and that he was in pain. It is really important to show and explain what is happening. I would've liked to have known about this and I may have found it easier to cope with if I was educated about it. X
Yes, Julie's videos are a tremendous help to all of us trying to understand the "end of life" phenomena. Yet at the same time, when I watch these sad videos, I say a little prayer that God will take me to my Heavenly home BEFORE I ever get to this stage. My own Mother collapsed on the sidewalk from coronary artery disease while walking to the beauty shop. Although the paramedics were able to restart her heart, she never regained consciousness and died a short time later. That's what I'm hoping my own death will be like...quick, easy, gentle and painless. No suffering, no lingering, no agitation. 😥
My dad had this in june a few hours before he died as well. He was trying to get out of bed constantly. Got annoyed with us when he wouldn't let him. He couldn't walk by himself anymore for months but he wanted to get out of bed for hours on end.
I realise now with my aunt, she did the same maybe 30 min before passing. She had lung cancer and went from vibrant to passing within 2 months. Just before the end, before we knew it was the end, she received her cortisone nebulizer during medication time in the hospital. After that she seemed to breathe easier for some minutes but then she also took hold of the bed rails to try and come upright and forward. She was laying in a very upright position due to the condition of her lungs. I am so grateful for you nurse Julie, i had been watching your videos for quite some time, by chance, and 1-2 days before her death i knew she was going over to actively dying. I told everyone to come say goodbyes because i knew😭 she was like a mother to me, and because of your education i had the opportunity to know. Thank you so much❤
My husband actually stood up in the hospital bed during the night I jumped out of bed, landing on me and taking us both to the ground. It was scary to wake up to him standing on the bed out of his mind, jumping into your arms. He passed just a few hours later. Living inside my heart, miss you Gazie❤️
You have my sincere sympathy. It must have been very hard to go through that. Please try to find some solace in the old saying "It's not Goodbye, it's only until we meet again" ❤❤❤
What a gift you are. We try to avoid knowing anything about what happens as death approaches, and that makes it harder for everyone concerned. It's so helpful when you take it beyone telling us to showing us. It's hard to see but we're forever changed by it and have a better chance at being able to step up in whatever way we're needed. Sending you so much love and gratitude.
My precious husband was on hospice at home. He had bladder cancer that had spread to bones, lungs, and his brain. Less than 24 hours before he passed, he suddenly woke up and was violent. My daughter and her husband helped hold him while I got extra meds for him. We didn't expect it, and he had tons of strength. He was spitting and cursing and fighting us, but we knew it wasn't him. It still haunts me daily, and I feel I should have talked to him more. I absolutely feel honored to take care of him. He was a wonderful husband for many years and always took care of me. It hurt me physically, but I wish I could have done more. God's richest blessings to anyone going through this.
Your comment brought tears to my eyes. I too feel honored to have cared for my partner during his terminal cancer. He made me feel SO loved every day... I pray I was able to bring him comfort in return. I am privileged to have walked that journey with such a remarkable man. ❤ Sending my love to you and your late hubby!
Just watched this video and realised my husband has only just started this agitation stage . Thankyou for your help in preparing myself for what is coming x
So very informative. Former caregiver for my mother 13 years, and this would have been a lifesaver for me to have known. She was on Hospice 5 months. Wonderful company that I dealt with, I even got a sympathy card and several cards after the fact. It truly made a difference. Hospice nurses are under paid and under acknowledged for the physical and emotional trauma that they go through daily. Thank you for your service to families.❤
Thank you, I was very lucky to have your videos while my mother was in the process of dying. They taught me a lot of what to expect. She was in the last 3 days of life and continually pulled her glasses off her face, pulled at her hair and picked at the neckline of her gown. I thought she was in pain. I didn’t realize this was normal until the Doctor came in and told me she wasn’t in pain but just needed something to calm her. She passed peacefully.
My mother also went through this . When she was more lucid at the beginning of hospice she asked if she had her coat on and told her she did and looked great for her journey . In the last 72 hours of her life she was constantly trying to get out of bed and also was over stimulated by clothing . She seemed to settle down when my brother would read to her from the Bible . Something soothing to her maybe ? You helped prepare me for her end of life journey. It was sad and I miss her but in the end this is how she wanted it. I think it is normal to second guess our decisions and actions . I certainly do .
It's so hard to lose a parent. You have my sincere sympathy. It is easy to second-guess ourselves but you said your mom passed the way she wanted to & in the end, isn't that what counts? You gave her the last gift she wanted in this life. I'm sure she's smiling and thankful❤
Turn to our God the Lord Jesus. He is the Prince of Peace & Lord of Pardon. You can have the Eternal Rest that can only be gained forever thru Faith in Jesus. Surrender your life over to HIM
This takes me back to when my dad passed. We were best friends, never went a day without talking then a hypoxic brain injury started a pretty dramatic mental decline. His life’s work was helping the elderly and I promised I wouldn’t put him in a home unless it was necessary. Thankfully when he started to wander he was only in a home on hospice for a month. One Sun morning he wouldn’t wake up so the dying process started. He was “unconscious” when I came in the room he sat up and tried so hard to talk to me (word salad) and began to get agitated when others started showing up. So 15 min after my mom left and it was just him and I, I told him I’d watch over mama, that he couldn’t protect us anymore down here and that it was ok to go. Once again, he sat up, looked at me, squeezed my hand, and passed in my arms. The day before he was pretty agitated so he was given meds. The nurse continued to give meds to keep him comfortable and I couldn’t have asked for a better way for him to cross over. ❤ Thank you for sharing all of these videos with us, and those who aren’t in the medical field. I’d been a flight paramedic for 20 years by the time he passed but I truly feel he didn’t want my mom to see him take his last breath, but knew I could handle it. Our loved ones all deserve to have comfort, so thank you so much for sharing these educational videos ❤
I was with my best friend at end of his life. I had told him to go if he needed to, that I would take care of the details afterward. He passed while I was called into office to fill out paperwork. I recall my mom telling me that she and her sister were in at end of life of my Gram. Gram sent them both off to get coffee. She passed before they got back.....
It's a big thing to be able to help someone with their dying process. To be able to choke back your own fear and uncertainty, and just help, is huge. ❤❤
My goodness. If only I had access to this information 10-20 years ago when my parents were dying. There was so little information. I loved my dad so much and had to call for sedation at 3am as he became increasingly distressed. I was alone with him and scared. But his last words were that he loved me and he passed peacefully. I carry that in my heart. You are providing an amazing service. ❤
I so appreciate you posting these! I spoke to a patient's daughter on Friday who's mother was exhibiting signs of terminal secretions and I pointed her to your videos and suggested she call the hospice company for a long overdue chat.
As a nurse for 2.5 years, I watch your videos to get a spiritual sense of what you do. When I was brand new, I was overwhelmed with end-of-care in an ICU environment. Never met a hospice nurse that didn't awe me. I work with an elderly volunteer in an ED that was a hospice nurse for 40 years; beautiful soul. I wish I was that connected.
My 91 year old father-in-law went through this for most of his last month of life. There was just no calming him. He was in a hospice facility and they tried so hard. Calming medications barely touched it. He was constantly picking at clothes and covers and his catheter as well as moving his legs in ways that we feared he would end up out of the bed. He'd fall asleep for a few minutes then was awake and moving again for hours. We sat with him and held his hands and did as much as we could to help sooth him and keep as settled as possible. It was so hard for my husband. He was getting no sleep and finally had to go home for a couple of days. His last couple of hours were more peaceful and my husband told his sister and all the other relatives that he had passed peacefully in his sleep. There is no way that we could have taken care of him alone at home. My husband's sister was quite critical of my husband insisting on using the hospice facility. She believed all of the negative stereotypes about hospice and still insists that if he had gone to rehab rather than to hospice that he would not have died. But she wasn't there.
I'm so sorry your family had to go through all of that. It is always easier for someone who wasn't there to point the finger but you know the right things were done. Rehab doesn't stop the end from coming. Please find solace and knowing you and your husband did the right thing. My sincere sympathy goes out to you all❤
The families have my deepest thanks & profound respect for sharing these videos in these times of grief. Am so grateful nurse Julie educates and shares them with us. I've seen previous videos Nurse Julie has posted on passing but for some reason these videos touched me deeper then previous ones. Many thanks to Nurse Julie, yourself and others who have given their lives to helping others❤
Nurse Julie you're God sent. My mom just passed November 27 2023 on Monday. Hospice never came by to assess her after I called several times reached out to everyone who's number I had but since it was Black Fri Thanksgiving weekend no one came. Your videos helped me care for my mom on her final transitioning phase. I sincerely Thank you!! I unfortunately ran out of morphine so it was devastating for me to watch my mom die. My mom had dementia an all your Awesome videos guided me. This hospice team really devastated me. May God have mercy an guide my mom. You're a special special person 🥹 Thank you Cecilia
I am so sorry. That is unacceptable and shouldn't have happened. The dying process and the need for help don't go on holiday, there should have been staff available to you in some form. Lots of love to you and your mom.
You are doing such a service by sharing these videos. Death should not be feared, yet we keep so much of it hidden and unknown. We're all going to face it one day. Better to be educated and more comfortable with the process. Many blessings to you. ❤
Thank you! I'm a chaplain and my assigned unit is medical oncology. Your videos have helped me feel comfortable with dying patients and explaining to families that things are normal/when to get the nurse.
My mom went through this, but we didn't ƙnow what she was going through as our hospice nurse was out of town! I was home alone with her, it was heartbreaking! 😢
Those videos were perfect Julie! What those families gave you to show us is exactly how terminal agitation presents in the actively dying. A huge thank you to those families and to you for your tireless efforts in educating us! 🙂
I helped my BFF the last 2 months of her life. Hospice closed down in her area, so I was her only caretaker 24/7. we did have a nurse come in once per week to check her vitals and progress. Seeing these videos helps me understand that I did the right things to assist her at the end of her life. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for your videos! They’re very helpful, educational, straight-forward,and your explanation has removed the “sting” of the fear we experience when we don’t understand what is happening. I only wish I’d been better educated when my Mom died in 1992 and my Dad died in 2013. Traumatizing. And only now am I beginning to learn/understand some of what to expect when someone is dying. Thank you so much!
Dear nurse julie, I found your videos about 6 months before my mother passed away and I cannot begin to describe to you the level of peace and comfort your videos gave me as I was dealing with the events leading up to her passing peacefully at the age of 87. I hope you never get discouraged by making content. Your content is so valuable during this time that seemingly we will all inevitably go through. Thank you for shedding light in what was otherwise a dark and unknown matter. God bless you
I am so grateful that you are sharing with us what we can expect. It is so important that everybody knows. We are all humans, and we are all going to die one day it takes away the fear and mystery. Thanks for educating us.
My mom passed in may at home with us and she didn't want to stay in bed it was so hard to keep her in bed she couldn't walk no longer and then she started sitting up in bed holding her arms straight out and screaming! I was beside myself. I called the hospice nurse who came out and they told us to increase her meds! It was just heartbreaking to watch my mom go through that! She finally calmed down with the increase of meds. I held her had and talk to her and sat by her bed. She passed 2 days latter🙏 I wish that I had seen your videos sooner 😢 😞
Love your content Nurse Julie. The dying process is something everyone should be educated on. I witnessed my Grandmother’s last days, and the experience really affected me, so I find your content really interesting.
After watching many of these videos, I have to say that I hope and pray that I go as quickly as possible. 'Normal' or not, I don't want my family to experience this. 'Thankfully', my dad passed away nearly instantly, but even just the few minutes that I was with him as he died was emotionally horrific. If I have a choice, I would just prefer to be sedated entirely during this process.
Thank you for this channel. I was with both my parents and in-laws as their end of life care giver. I did not have access to any of this information or hospice care ( it wasn’t available at the time) but the doctors were great about the medications and taught me how to administer them because none of them wanted to be in a hospital. They all passed at home, in their favorite spot. Each had different end of life moments but I dealt with each as they came. There was so much trust and loving bond with each of them that I look back on it as a wonderful experience I shared with them. Dying is part of life and as hard as it is to let go, we must; for their sake. I shared the great lives they led for decades and then shared their leaving, saying goodbye was peaceful and satisfying. Thank you for helping me know I did ok:):):)
I got a call from my Aunt telling me that my father had suffered a stroke a week before (My father and I had a very difficult relationship) and that they were moving him to hospice care. Never having known anyone in Hospice care before, I thought it was another department of the hospital one went to recover and told her it was "good he was going somewhere he could get the treatment he needed." He had been unresponsive since the stroke but I did end up going to see him. In the end I was able to tell him all the things that he refused to listen to in life and I am very glad I did.
Good evening Nurse Julie. This is the last video my mother shared with me through text before she died suddenly from an AVM. She came upon your videos while trying to understand and cope with the passing of her own mother about two years ago which she witnessed. Below is what she texted me after sending the video: “I watch her videos and they are so educational about terminal patients. I wish I would’ve been more educated about dying. I felt like mom was suffering but all of her experiences were a normal part of the death process.” I just wanted to share this with you and thank you from the bottom of my heart for making these videos which helped my mother understand and have some closure with the witnessing of my grandmother’s passing. Thanks you ❤
Thank you so much! I wish I had known about this when my grandmother was in hospice. I was freaked out. They told me it was normal but it wasn’t normal to me!!
My brother-in-law was highly agitated by his sudden terminal ( lung cancer ) diagnosis. He kept moving around his house, poured a much too generous amount of alcohol in a glass and was essentially not in his right mind when I visited him. I was shocked by his behavior trying to comprehend just what was going on. He had been a medical tech in a hospital so was aware of the stages of death; however, as it was happening to him the combination of drugs he was taking and his mental state were quite bizarre. The next time I saw him he was calm but asleep having been giving drugs to settle his agitation. Seeing him conscious and enduring the the reality of his diagnosis was very unsettling to me. He died in a few weeks. I would characterize in this instance his behavior as a combination of drugs and initial disbelief in his diagnosis-a very dangerous time for him and those loved ones around him. In hindsight we think in terms of stages as taking time to go from one to another: diagnosis, disbelief, acceptance, and so forth. With my brother-in-law his death track was very fast. He probably should have been treated differently.....
This would be great for student nurses. . My supervisor/instructor made sure that we had the opportunity to care for dying patients during our rotation on the medical floor. It was the most meaningful experience in my training as a nurse. I have been forever grateful.
I was not aware of terminal agitation until my husband was actively dying from cancer. He was much younger than your examples and there is definitely a more aggressive terminal agitation. My husband was unconscious, but he was clearly terrified of wetting the bed. He would jump up out of bed and start yelling that he had to go pee. I could not hold him down, he pushed me onto the floor and into walls when I tried to keep him in the bed. He did not know who I was and called me "dude" a few times. I had to have the ambulance come out 3 times just to help me get him back into bed, because after wetting on the floor in the bathroom he would go back to unconsciousness. I would have a chair ready to have him sit on before he fell unconscious. Just a tip......have your cellphone on you 100% of the time when your loved one is actively dying. If I had not had it on me, I dont know how I could have made it to the phone for help and keep him from falling off the chair.
I want to thank you for posting this information, my mom is 87 years old and has been going through dementia for 11 years, and these videos have removed a lot of fear from me ❤ once again thank you 😊
I had no idea about this. Thank you for the family’s for allowing us to see these videos for educational purposes and thank you Nurse Julie for explaining everything and making this video for us to understand
Our society handles death and dying badly because we would rather focus on idiocy. Your videos are the end point of life and should be seen by everyone. They educate about our fragile nature and make living each day in peace a noble goal.
These videos are so important. I was with my husband throughout the dying process, and if I had not someone explain to me the stages he went through, I would have been so much more stressed. It’s such a daunting process to experience. Channels such as yours provide such insight and guidance. You are wonderful!
May God bless people like you that is there for the dying. That is a job I could never do. People need someone while dying but some of us don't have what it takes to be there.
Thank you so much for your videos. My sister died a week and a half ago. She had multiple strokes in the last few days she was very agitated and couldn’t drink. I know from your videos that that sometimes happens. That helped me get through.
When my wife was passing after 26 years with MS, the palliative care Dr put her on Midazolam and it saved her from all those symptoms and gave her a peaceful death. I was so grateful for that.
My mom and dad have been in home hospice since August 2023, they were moved to a 24 hour round Hospice home about 3 weeks ago. I just got back from visiting with them, my dad has dementia so bad, he kept trying to crawl out of bed, even though he has lost his balance and can’t stand up or walk, he constantly wanted to go go go, he picked at his blankets. My mom was hallucinating and she had trouble talking, she sleeps most the time, her constant refrain is: I just want to relax & holding my hand and begging me to stay with her. We couldn’t stay, my husband caught Covid in Southern California, it’s rampant there again, so I’m stuck in bed with Covid. My parents got Covid, as well as their caretakers. My dad only calmed down when they medicated him, but it was too much Lorazepam for him. I watched Nurse Julie before we left to understand what my parents are both experiencing at the same time. Thank you, Nurse Julie, your videos helped me so much.❤
My 80 year old mother died almost exactly a year ago in Hospice Care. I was with her the entire time. Thankfully, she had absolutely none of these things. She appeared so calm and comfortable. She appeared to just sleep until she finally stopped breathing. The nurses definitely medicated her well. They knew exactly when she needed medication. Thank Zgod for Hospice Care ❤️🙏🏻
Thank you for sharing and thanks to the families. I wish I'd known about all of this when my spouse died of cancer some years ago. A booklet given out by the hospice center just wasn't enough information. Forewarned is prepared. Thanks again.
The patch that dried secretions and pain and anxiety meds all helped my loved one go peacefully saying “don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.” Great last words❤
My husband died in palliative care in a V.A. hospital. He had terminal agitation. However, the unit had a special little piece of cloth with soft things sewn on in to put under his hands for him to use. I was a C.N.A. years ago and had residents die in the nursing homes I worked in but never witnessed this stage of death. I did experience someone who couldn't eat their evening meal and I just knew they were dying. Charge nurse shrugged it off at first when I came to him but I went back again and he came to check her vitals. She was gone when I came back the next day. I will say V.A. palliative care staff were wonderful and he had a peaceful passing with me and the nurses beside him. I am forever grateful to them. Thank you for your informative videos.
i don’t know if any of the family members of these patients are reading this comment but if you are, i’d just like to say thank you. losing your loved one in this way is so extremely painful, but the fact that you chose to use it as an opportunity to educate caregivers and medical practitioners is truly honourable. you’ve taken your pain and brought something positive out of that to help other people and that is beautiful to me. the knowledge gained from watching these videos will help families and their loved ones going through the same situation. so thank you, it’s truly a selfless act❤
I wish i had these when my dad died 10 years ago. He was in an ICU in a medically induced coma, having several heart attacks. We all had to wear hazmat like suites because a patient had Mersa in the unit. When we took him off life support and everything started beeping and seeing him jolting freaked me out. I tore everything off and ran screaming! But a nurse talked me down and walked me back in. He passed, and looked so much more alive than he did moments earlier. I love you Dad and miss you so very much! And for all you reading and commenting, my condolences for your losses.
My step dad suffered from this the week before he passed. Wouldn’t wear any clothing (including his diaper) kept wanting to stand up every 30 min 24/7 after 3 days of no sleep and fear he’d fall or hurt mom he was taken to hospice house to give him IV meds to help. First day was still horrible but the next 3 days were more calm and he passed peacefully. I had never heard of this condition and it was scary and heartbreaking.
That terminal agitation is also a spiritual side of things. I won't go into it but our whole life, begins and ends with our spirit given to us and where its going when the time comes.
Turn to our God the Lord Jesus. He is the Prince of Peace & Lord of Pardon. You can have the Eternal Rest that can only be gained forever thru Faith in Jesus. Surrender your life over to HIM
I fully agree. I'm currently caring for my 93 year old Dad who has terminal restlessness as he moves between his bed, the bathroom, his recliner and the kitchen. He moves the same circuit regardless of being medicated or not. I'm now pursuing alternatives like energy work, a grounding mat, and essential oils. 🙏
Thank you so much for these videos. My dad was in my care at the end of his life and until I watched these videos, I always thought I wasn't caring for him properly. God bless you for putting me and others at ease.
Oh my goodness, I just went through this with my Dad. He had a stroke and behaved exactly like this. He did survive and is currently in rehab and no longer acting this way. He did this for about 3 days though. True story, at one point I said, "Dad, let's pray" and he closed his eyes and calmed down. When I said "amen" His eyes flew open and he said, "It worked!". We still had about 2 days of this behavior before he started to come back to us. I wondered what his "it worked" response meant and seeing this has me thinking that maybe he was at "end of life" (the doctors thought so) and the prayer actually did work!
Prayer may of not cured him of his ailments specifically, but those may of motivated a part of him to fight the Reaper and stay alive ❤️ Love, and the will to live for those you love, is far more powerful than any godly or earthly power. I hope he continues to thrive, and live his life comfortably with you all. Our bodies are all programmed to die one day, sometimes death just isn’t on the schedule when we think it is.
Thank you to the families who provided the videos of their loved ones. Probably most here are trying to educate themselves on what's currently happening with someone they love and are caring for (or are about to). Very helpful so thank you again.
Thank you for this educational video series. Your channel is very professional and compassionate. I’m not looking forward to watching my father pass eventually.
honestly why cant we be put to sleep like animals when were on our death bed rather than going through the process. i love what you share and that you show the reality of dying/death. thankyou
I agree. It was so painful for the family to stand over my mother in law's death bed as she lingered for almost 2 full weeks. Not a humane way to leave this earth.
Yes I totally agree 😢 My brother passed recently from Cancer and he was no more than a skeleton with no life, full of misery etc & all of our family just wished he could pass away in peace with no lingering etc ☮️
@Hospice Nurse Julie Thank you for teaching me/us about this. I started being a caregiver at the end of 2020, and although I haven't encountered this yet, I'm appreciative of you showing us these symptoms.
My dad was very restless on his last night, a lot like the first video. It was hard not being able to soothe him for more than a couple minutes. There came a point where he clearly wanted to get UP, so we helped him briefly stand. When we got him back on the bed, he was calm, his eyes and body and breathing much more relaxed than before. We said our goodbyes and told him it was OK to go. His last few minutes were peaceful. He was always an athletic man before he got sick and it comforts me that getting on his feet one last time helped him let go
Thank you for showing these videos to teach people what could happen and that there are things that can be done to comfort the patient. My grandmother passed almost 5 years ago. She was extremely agitated and vocal and moving appendages. It was scary to me to witness, as each of us three family members would spend the day with her on our own. Lasted about 4-5 days in a hospital setting. She didn't get put on hospice until the day she passed. I wish I would have known there could have been some medicine administered to help calm her. Again, she wasn't on hospice yet, so hospital was still giving fluids and antibiotics and stuff. I always envisioned she was fighting off the grim reaper until the very end.
Thank you for showing us these videos of the various processes in dying. I wish that my mother, sister and myself had known about this so we could be prepared for our father's dying process which went on for hours and hours. Naturally we were greatly disturbed at what seemed an extremely lengthy process and begged the doctor, who came to the house, to ease his suffering. He did administer some drug but even with that it was another 6 or 7 hours before he passed. I have since been present at three other deaths of friends and not one of them was as prolonged or as agonising as my father's back in 1970.
I lost my father in the late '70s also. Like yours, my dad suffered for hours terribly. It was a different era & thank God we rarely see that these days. Just wanted you to know I understand the pain you feel with those memories. When I start thinking about it I go further back and try to remember all the good, happy times with him. Also, that he is in a much better place and that I will be with him again someday. I hope you can do this & it helps you too❤
When my mother was actively dying from cancer she’d been unconscious on a pump with midazolam, morphine etc. A night nurse came to help me get a few hours sleep. I was on the sofa asleep, the nurse came in and apologised for waking me. I thought mum had died or was close. What happened was that mum was physically and vocally distressed and the experienced nurse couldn’t calm her. I will never forget her loud wailing. Nurse had given her a meds top up but it wasn’t kicking in. To say I was traumatised by this was an understatement. I managed to calm my mum but had to leave the room to just cry my eyes out. I felt that the nurse could have handled that so much better than she did. I was so appreciative of any help we got but nobody explained terminal agitation before or after my mum died. Thanks for educating so many x
Thank you so much Julie and the very kind families who realise that others need to know what to expect. My mum died last year and was always a very peaceful, composed person in her life but in the last few days of pneumonia and heart issues she kept pulling at her clothes and sheets and groaning and moving her legs like she was uncomfortable. I just fanned her a lot with the sheet, it helped. But you feel so terribly helpless. She was deaf, so I couldn’t even read to her. It was cruel. I pray she is at peace and happy now. God and church was her whole life.
My daughter told me that my ex mother-in-law was like the last woman for about 3 days. They had hospice come in and they gave her something to relax her. Hospice is a God send! ❤
I wish I had seen these videos when my father was in his last days… I took care of him till his last breath.. but I’m not going to lie it was so stressful, I was scared , so so scared and sad at the same time . ..It was so difficult, till this day it affects me . Your videos would of helped me so much ….but better late than never …You have inspired me to possibly volunteer and help others with their elderly parents , going through the transition phase into the next realms of life …
My mom had the leg movement like that at the hospital just hours before she passed last yr. I really wondered why she was doing that. I thought maybe she was uncomfortable or in pain. The nurse I asked was indifferent and wouldn't give her anything. I appreciate you showing these bc it's not what comes to mind when you say terminal agitation. I imagined agression. My mom had dementia but she caught Covid and became Septic. It all happened so fast. Please thank the families again from us bc what was shared has brought understanding and comfort. ♥️
My mom went from really kind and warm to being really childish and spitefull the last few hours. It still bothers me 7 months later wondering if I made the right choice taking her off of life support.
A lot of people, including myself, give ourselves a hard time about what we could have done, the decisions we make but that is normal. It is part of the grief process. When their behaviour changes and they are so difficult I think it can be the frustration of wanting to go. Just wanting people to know they want to go. You did the right thing.
You could not have done anything more, and she probably became childish and spiteful because she was ready to go. You probably gave her the grace of passing peacefully instead of let her be agonizingly trapped on life support while she was in severe distress.
I really want to thankyou & the families for sharing these video's,I think to actually see it is better than it been explained,well seeing it & having explained are better.. I think it helps us because it could scare you to see a lived one or friend doing something like this,so I think it's important for us to prepare our selves for what we might witness..also finding out what we can do to comfort those going through the dying process is really important.. Thankyou so much for helping educate us..sending loves & hugs,xxxx
I’m so glad you shared this. It also applies to pets! I lost my beloved dog and experienced a lot of the same behaviors before he passed. I wish I would have known that it would be so active. It was fairly traumatic at the time.
It happened to my beautiful 20yr old Maltese doggy too. I was so distressed as she seemed to be so distressed. It was awful. We keep on giving her Valium and Tramadol but it didn’t seem to help her enough. Oh my little Bella 💔
My mom was like this off and on for a couple days before she died. Ten minutes before she died, she tried to get out of bed stating she needed her coat, shoes and purse because her dad , who died 30 years before, was coming to get her.
That's actually kind of comforting.
@@jennyn5692it was . She wasn’t afraid and we knew she was ready to go. ❤
@@Inmatesixdoublefive321 I hope your grandpa really did come to get her. ❤
He was..
He most likely did come, at least to the extent that she could see, or know he was coming to escort her on her final earthly journey. There are numerous accounts of this happening shortly before death occurs. It’s been the topic of much research and some that I’ve been interested to hear is by Peter Fenwick, a British neuropsychiatrist, neurophysiologist and parapsychologist who has done in-depth studies with the dying and of near-death experiences.
To the families who allow us to view and learn from their videos. THANK YOU, for the strength to share what can be a very disconcerting at the time.
I send strong hugs to you.
Yes yes yes yes- THANK YOU!
Agreed, takes a lot of courage to share something that personal. God bless them.
Most people would get trolled for showing such personal situations
@Rebecca_Bailey when they give permission, it is a different story. No names are given, unless you know the families shown, there is no way to find them.
Agree
I was alone at my mother’s home with her when she died. The night before she did get agitated. The hospice nurse told me on the phone to give her more meds. I did and she calmed down but didn’t regain her consciousness . I wished I would have had access to this video before. But even 14 years later it finally gives me relief. Thank you for what you do!!!
Yes say ur goodbyes before increasing meds
Same situation with me. It’s been almost 19 years and I finally have an answer for why my mom did this the last night she was in her home and own bed. She’d asked me to be her hospice for as long as possible after her lung cancer diagnosis. She passed 3 days after she did this and we were blessed to be able to get her in hospice the last 3 days of her life. I’m grateful for this video because I finally have an answer and I’m very sorry for your loss.
Thank you Missy! And I’m sorry for your loss too!
❤❤❤❤yes
Same! My father in law passed away in hospice it was so hard to watch him struggling. 😢I wish we had this information.
One of the things which still haunts my sister, whose husband died at the end of a dementia journey, was that death isn't necessarily the quiet and peaceful thing she was expecting. Her husband's agitation was unexpected for her and she associated it with his being in great pain and distress. It's taken lots of talking to persuade her that, just like birth, dying is quite an active process and it doesn't always mean that the person dying is suffering. And that some simple measures can help to bring calm. It would have been so much easier for her to digest if she had seen your videos ahead of his passing. You are offering us the privilege of learning what dying is really all about and it is an education which is sadly missing for so many of us until we are thrust into the heart of it, and it can leave us traumatised. Thank you so much.
I totally understand how your sister felt. I had the same experience with my mom. I was traumatized for a long time. I felt like my mom was suffering and trying to tell me something. I felt so helpless.
So well said!
I watched both my parents die of cancer as a teenager and it was very traumatic at the end both times. I had no idea what could happen. I couldn’t watch the family videos you featured however, this is an excellent use of TH-cam- normalising something that mostly remains hidden in our culture. Good on Julie 💜
My husband tossed,turned,flopped,flailed,failed, cursed,and sweated the whole time,for about 5 hours, thinking he couldn't sleep because he had slept all day this just past Nov.10. He had had no other sign anything was wrong except a headache. He also had a stroke in the past,a heart,and dementia.He was in his recliner in our bedroom,still at it ,flinging himself around complaining of being hot,when I finally dozed off a few minutes after 2 am. I awoke a few minutes after 5 to discover him still in the recliner,apparently asleep. Wrong. He was already pale and starting to cool.
@@ghayes6237 How brave of you to recount this for all of us, but how interesting and informative too. Thank you. We do need to know in order to help us cope better with the process of dying.
My father had horrible terminal agitation with sudden-onset dementia. He forgot who I was. He thought I was a horrible nurse who was trying to kill him. Sometimes he knew who I was and he would say horrible, awful things to me. He physically assaulted me several times. It was a nightmare. I will never get the image out of my sight of him crawling around the hospital bed in a diaper trying to escape, flinging his legs over the bar, fighting with me, trying to hurt me...saying horrible things. I didn't sleep hardly at all the last 4 weeks of his life.
The night before he died, I couldn't believe the strength he had. The last thing he said to me was "Get your hands off of me, you f-ing b--ch!" As I was trying to keep his legs inside the rails.
The next day, he was heavily medicated and nvr regained consciousness.
It was especially hard because I had always been his "darling girl" and he was so kind and sweet. 😢😢😢
I suffered PTSD afterward and needed counseling.
I wish someone had prepared me better. Thank you for doing this.❤
💗💗💗💗
Thats so painful. Sending you ❤️
God bless you
Oh my gosh ❤️ I can’t imagine how crushing that must have been💔 I hope the counseling has helped and provided some comfort and reassurance
I am so sorry you had such a challenging experience with your father🥺. He was blessed to have you by his side. My significant other exhibited extreme agitation for a few days and it was so frightening... Hopefully we can grow from these experiences and be useful to someone else because of them, somehow... even if it's just because of our ability to empathize. Wishing you peace and comfort❤!
Thank you to everyone who allows these videos to be shared. It's very helpful to those who are going through the difficulties of losing a loved one as well as those who fear the dying process. It does seem scary, but it is normal. Our bodies are made to do these things. Education is very important for the person who is at their end of life and those who love someone going through this journey.
Well said. Have watched Nurse Julie for quite a while & have seen other videos she's posted. Bless these families who send her these videos, while still grieving, to help others. They have my thanks and respect❤
I wish I had seen this before my dads death in 2019. He was very agitated all night on the medical floor doe decompensated liver disease, his BP was tanking, he had been seeing things all night, thinking he was in a boat. They said they didn’t know the problem so they mobilized him to the ICU. But when I saw him I knew he was dying. No one else seemed to realize it. They thought maybe he was septic and wanted to put in central lines. He had been living with HCC for more than 4 years and had recently withdrawn socially. In the ICU he was very restless, asking for things, we had to keep lifting him up in bed because he was so restless he was sliding down in bed. Picking at sheets. Said he “felt awful” denied being scared. I decided to discontinue everything and give him medication to calm him down. He died within 20 minutes of doing so. I always though death was peaceful but without those medications it would not have been so.
I worked in a LTC facility and I've seen hundreds of people die. YES, the general public NEEDS education on the dying process..
When my mom was dying, her clothes and covers became a huge problem for her, so we let her just rest naked. My husband was OK with that. They were very close. We covered her up if we were expecting someone like a doctor or nurse, but, bless mom's heart, she couldn't stand material against her skin. She came to stay with us as she was dying of pancreatic cancer. I took 30 days off work. She died on the 29th day. ❤
Thank you for sharing that. It helps us all prepare, learn and open our hearts. You and your husband did a beautiful thing for your mama.
Hugs, you deserve them xx
Bless your mother ❤ Thank you for sharing! It’s crazy how we come into this world naked and a lot of people want to leave this world naked too
Thank you so much for seeing her through that very hard time huge blessings to you 💙🙏🏼💙
Again, my Dad. He was passing from leukemia and they basically had him in a medically induced coma. He was still very agitated. The doctors said it wasn't pain, but changed his medication to Valium, and he appeared much calmer. It was done more for our sake than his.
It is comforting to now understand that this is just the process that we go thru.
God bless.
Thank you lady's for every thing keeping the patients and there much needed family's
❤😮😮😢😢😢😢❤❤❤❤❤❤🎉
I'm glad the doctor changed his mind and gave him Valium. You said it calmed both your dad and you, so that was nice. It's hard to lose a parent, you have my sincere sympathies❤
@laurierice7687 , thank you. It was a long time ago and I don't think there was much knowledge of the actual process. I am grateful for this channel to better understand.
Why do we medicate the pt for the family? It’s not about them.?It’s the pt 🙁
Maybe showing younger people that suffer from this at end of life would be good to show too, thank you for sharing and spreading awareness 🙏🏻
I was wondering if young people experience this too.
Me also!
Since these are videos sent in by viewers, I assume they're at peace with the deaths enough to share these videos. In most cases, young deaths aren't ones that people are very at peace with and so there's probably not going to be many people documenting it the way they would with an older person.
But since most of these phenomena are biological, I'd assume the same happens with younger people who die on hospice as well. Their body would still shut down in the same way and their brain would signal the same as an old person, right?
So tough to watch, but I respect you and all hospice people for facing it directly.
Having been there while both my father & father in law passed, I noted that the day before they passed the agitation began. Recently my sister was admitted to hospital with septic shock. I spoke with her the day of and the day after being admitted. She seemed fine except for her breathing. I heard from the doctor & her son, that she was getting better everyday. So I was shocked to see her 4 days later. She did not seem better to me at all. One thing that really bothered me was how agitated she was. While I was there, the Dr came around & told me she was on “the road to recovery”. When I mentioned the agitation to him, he blew it off.
When I left, I knew that would be the last time I saw her alive. She passed early the next morning. It still bothers me how the doctor ignored what was clearly a sign that she was not recovering!
I hope that doctors will watch this video & take away what are signs of end of life. 😢
So sorry for your loss 💔
How awful by the doctor to ignore signs of her getting worse, I really hope they took all the tests before and saw if the medication was not working for the septic chock or if it was just too much for her body.
File lawsuit against doctor and hospital
for too many doctors, "it's another day; another dollar...
My brother died in Sept after battling for 2 years with bone cancer. He picked at the sheets and constantly wanted us to keep moving him up the bed and lift his leg. Thank you for posting this as at the time I was so upset and felt I had failed him and that he was in pain. It is really important to show and explain what is happening. I would've liked to have known about this and I may have found it easier to cope with if I was educated about it. X
Yes, Julie's videos are a tremendous help to all of us trying to understand the "end of life" phenomena. Yet at the same time, when I watch these sad videos, I say a little prayer that God will take me to my Heavenly home BEFORE I ever get to this stage. My own Mother collapsed on the sidewalk from coronary artery disease while walking to the beauty shop. Although the paramedics were able to restart her heart, she never regained consciousness and died a short time later. That's what I'm hoping my own death will be like...quick, easy, gentle and painless. No suffering, no lingering, no agitation. 😥
@@JC-tp5lz I'm sorry for your loss. It must have been so shocking when your mom died so suddenly
My dad had this in june a few hours before he died as well. He was trying to get out of bed constantly. Got annoyed with us when he wouldn't let him. He couldn't walk by himself anymore for months but he wanted to get out of bed for hours on end.
Yes
You are doing a great service to the global community. People need to see *normal*, not Hollywood. A huge thank you to those who contribute videos.
I realise now with my aunt, she did the same maybe 30 min before passing. She had lung cancer and went from vibrant to passing within 2 months. Just before the end, before we knew it was the end, she received her cortisone nebulizer during medication time in the hospital. After that she seemed to breathe easier for some minutes but then she also took hold of the bed rails to try and come upright and forward. She was laying in a very upright position due to the condition of her lungs. I am so grateful for you nurse Julie, i had been watching your videos for quite some time, by chance, and 1-2 days before her death i knew she was going over to actively dying. I told everyone to come say goodbyes because i knew😭 she was like a mother to me, and because of your education i had the opportunity to know. Thank you so much❤
My husband actually stood up in the hospital bed during the night I jumped out of bed, landing on me and taking us both to the ground. It was scary to wake up to him standing on the bed out of his mind, jumping into your arms. He passed just a few hours later. Living inside my heart, miss you Gazie❤️
You have my sincere sympathy. It must have been very hard to go through that. Please try to find some solace in the old saying "It's not Goodbye, it's only until we meet again"
❤❤❤
😮
He probably wanted to give you one last hug 😢
Sending my sincere condolences to you for the loss of your husband💛
What a gift you are. We try to avoid knowing anything about what happens as death approaches, and that makes it harder for everyone concerned. It's so helpful when you take it beyone telling us to showing us. It's hard to see but we're forever changed by it and have a better chance at being able to step up in whatever way we're needed. Sending you so much love and gratitude.
My precious husband was on hospice at home. He had bladder cancer that had spread to bones, lungs, and his brain. Less than 24 hours before he passed, he suddenly woke up and was violent. My daughter and her husband helped hold him while I got extra meds for him. We didn't expect it, and he had tons of strength. He was spitting and cursing and fighting us, but we knew it wasn't him. It still haunts me daily, and I feel I should have talked to him more.
I absolutely feel honored to take care of him. He was a wonderful husband for many years and always took care of me. It hurt me physically, but I wish I could have done more.
God's richest blessings to anyone going through this.
Your comment brought tears to my eyes. I too feel honored to have cared for my partner during his terminal cancer. He made me feel SO loved every day... I pray I was able to bring him comfort in return.
I am privileged to have walked that journey with such a remarkable man. ❤ Sending my love to you and your late hubby!
💛💛💛
Just watched this video and realised my husband has only just started this agitation stage .
Thankyou for your help in preparing myself for what is coming x
So very informative. Former caregiver for my mother 13 years, and this would have been a lifesaver for me to have known. She was on Hospice 5 months. Wonderful company that I dealt with, I even got a sympathy card and several cards after the fact. It truly made a difference. Hospice nurses are under paid and under acknowledged for the physical and emotional trauma that they go through daily. Thank you for your service to families.❤
Thank you, I was very lucky to have your videos while my mother was in the process of dying. They taught me a lot of what to expect. She was in the last 3 days of life and continually pulled her glasses off her face, pulled at her hair and picked at the neckline of her gown. I thought she was in pain. I didn’t realize this was normal until the Doctor came in and told me she wasn’t in pain but just needed something to calm her. She passed peacefully.
My mother also went through this . When she was more lucid at the beginning of hospice she asked if she had her coat on and told her she did and looked great for her journey . In the last 72 hours of her life she was constantly trying to get out of bed and also was over stimulated by clothing . She seemed to settle down when my brother would read to her from the Bible . Something soothing to her maybe ? You helped prepare me for her end of life journey. It was sad and I miss her but in the end this is how she wanted it. I think it is normal to second guess our decisions and actions . I certainly do .
It's so hard to lose a parent. You have my sincere sympathy. It is easy to second-guess ourselves but you said your mom passed the way she wanted to & in the end, isn't that what counts? You gave her the last gift she wanted in this life. I'm sure she's smiling and thankful❤
Turn to our God the Lord Jesus. He is the Prince of Peace & Lord of Pardon. You can have the Eternal Rest that can only be gained forever thru Faith in Jesus. Surrender your life over to HIM
This takes me back to when my dad passed. We were best friends, never went a day without talking then a hypoxic brain injury started a pretty dramatic mental decline. His life’s work was helping the elderly and I promised I wouldn’t put him in a home unless it was necessary. Thankfully when he started to wander he was only in a home on hospice for a month. One Sun morning he wouldn’t wake up so the dying process started. He was “unconscious” when I came in the room he sat up and tried so hard to talk to me (word salad) and began to get agitated when others started showing up. So 15 min after my mom left and it was just him and I, I told him I’d watch over mama, that he couldn’t protect us anymore down here and that it was ok to go. Once again, he sat up, looked at me, squeezed my hand, and passed in my arms. The day before he was pretty agitated so he was given meds. The nurse continued to give meds to keep him comfortable and I couldn’t have asked for a better way for him to cross over. ❤ Thank you for sharing all of these videos with us, and those who aren’t in the medical field. I’d been a flight paramedic for 20 years by the time he passed but I truly feel he didn’t want my mom to see him take his last breath, but knew I could handle it. Our loved ones all deserve to have comfort, so thank you so much for sharing these educational videos ❤
I was with my best friend at end of his life. I had told him to go if he needed to, that I would take care of the details afterward. He passed while I was called into office to fill out paperwork. I recall my mom telling me that she and her sister were in at end of life of my Gram. Gram sent them both off to get coffee. She passed before they got back.....
It's a big thing to be able to help someone with their dying process. To be able to choke back your own fear and uncertainty, and just help, is huge. ❤❤
It’s angelic and a great honor most definitely. 🤍✨🙏🏽
My goodness. If only I had access to this information 10-20 years ago when my parents were dying. There was so little information. I loved my dad so much and had to call for sedation at 3am as he became increasingly distressed. I was alone with him and scared. But his last words were that he loved me and he passed peacefully. I carry that in my heart. You are providing an amazing service. ❤
I so appreciate you posting these! I spoke to a patient's daughter on Friday who's mother was exhibiting signs of terminal secretions and I pointed her to your videos and suggested she call the hospice company for a long overdue chat.
As a nurse for 2.5 years, I watch your videos to get a spiritual sense of what you do. When I was brand new, I was overwhelmed with end-of-care in an ICU environment. Never met a hospice nurse that didn't awe me. I work with an elderly volunteer in an ED that was a hospice nurse for 40 years; beautiful soul. I wish I was that connected.
My 91 year old father-in-law went through this for most of his last month of life. There was just no calming him. He was in a hospice facility and they tried so hard. Calming medications barely touched it. He was constantly picking at clothes and covers and his catheter as well as moving his legs in ways that we feared he would end up out of the bed. He'd fall asleep for a few minutes then was awake and moving again for hours. We sat with him and held his hands and did as much as we could to help sooth him and keep as settled as possible. It was so hard for my husband. He was getting no sleep and finally had to go home for a couple of days. His last couple of hours were more peaceful and my husband told his sister and all the other relatives that he had passed peacefully in his sleep. There is no way that we could have taken care of him alone at home. My husband's sister was quite critical of my husband insisting on using the hospice facility. She believed all of the negative stereotypes about hospice and still insists that if he had gone to rehab rather than to hospice that he would not have died. But she wasn't there.
I'm so sorry your family had to go through all of that. It is always easier for someone who wasn't there to point the finger but you know the right things were done. Rehab doesn't stop the end from coming. Please find solace and knowing you and your husband did the right thing. My sincere sympathy goes out to you all❤
Thank you Julie For educating everyone that sees this
I retired 7 years ago from Hospices and still help out when I can when needed
The families have my deepest thanks & profound respect for sharing these videos in these times of grief. Am so grateful nurse Julie educates and shares them with us.
I've seen previous videos Nurse Julie has posted on passing but for some reason these videos touched me deeper then previous ones. Many thanks to Nurse Julie, yourself and others who have given their lives to helping others❤
Nurse Julie you're God sent. My mom just passed November 27 2023 on Monday. Hospice never came by to assess her after I called several times reached out to everyone who's number I had but since it was Black Fri Thanksgiving weekend no one came. Your videos helped me care for my mom on her final transitioning phase. I sincerely Thank you!! I unfortunately ran out of morphine so it was devastating for me to watch my mom die. My mom had dementia an all your Awesome videos guided me. This hospice team really devastated me. May God have mercy an guide my mom. You're a special special person 🥹 Thank you Cecilia
I am so sorry. That is unacceptable and shouldn't have happened. The dying process and the need for help don't go on holiday, there should have been staff available to you in some form. Lots of love to you and your mom.
Thank you 🥹💫🙏
You are doing such a service by sharing these videos. Death should not be feared, yet we keep so much of it hidden and unknown. We're all going to face it one day. Better to be educated and more comfortable with the process. Many blessings to you. ❤
Thank you!
I'm a chaplain and my assigned unit is medical oncology. Your videos have helped me feel comfortable with dying patients and explaining to families that things are normal/when to get the nurse.
My mom went through this, but we didn't ƙnow what she was going through as our hospice nurse was out of town! I was home alone with her, it was heartbreaking! 😢
Those videos were perfect Julie! What those families gave you to show us is exactly how terminal agitation presents in the actively dying. A huge thank you to those families and to you for your tireless efforts in educating us! 🙂
I helped my BFF the last 2 months of her life. Hospice closed down in her area, so I was her only caretaker 24/7. we did have a nurse come in once per week to check her vitals and progress. Seeing these videos helps me understand that I did the right things to assist her at the end of her life. Thank you for sharing.
Big hugs to you. ❤
Thank you so much for your videos! They’re very helpful, educational, straight-forward,and your explanation has removed the “sting” of the fear we experience when we don’t understand what is happening. I only wish I’d been better educated when my Mom died in 1992 and my Dad died in 2013. Traumatizing. And only now am I beginning to learn/understand some of what to expect when someone is dying. Thank you so much!
Dear nurse julie, I found your videos about 6 months before my mother passed away and I cannot begin to describe to you the level of peace and comfort your videos gave me as I was dealing with the events leading up to her passing peacefully at the age of 87. I hope you never get discouraged by making content. Your content is so valuable during this time that seemingly we will all inevitably go through. Thank you for shedding light in what was otherwise a dark and unknown matter. God bless you
I am so grateful that you are sharing with us what we can expect. It is so important that everybody knows. We are all humans, and we are all going to die one day it takes away the fear and mystery. Thanks for educating us.
My mom passed in may at home with us and she didn't want to stay in bed it was so hard to keep her in bed she couldn't walk no longer and then she started sitting up in bed holding her arms straight out and screaming! I was beside myself. I called the hospice nurse who came out and they told us to increase her meds! It was just heartbreaking to watch my mom go through that! She finally calmed down with the increase of meds. I held her had and talk to her and sat by her bed. She passed 2 days latter🙏 I wish that I had seen your videos sooner 😢 😞
Love your content Nurse Julie. The dying process is something everyone should be educated on. I witnessed my Grandmother’s last days, and the experience really affected me, so I find your content really interesting.
After watching many of these videos, I have to say that I hope and pray that I go as quickly as possible. 'Normal' or not, I don't want my family to experience this. 'Thankfully', my dad passed away nearly instantly, but even just the few minutes that I was with him as he died was emotionally horrific. If I have a choice, I would just prefer to be sedated entirely during this process.
Thank you for being willing to be here. I totally understand what you mean. Sending you love. 💗💗💗💗💗
Same here. Hopefully my loved ones won't let this happen to me....just let me go asap. Please.
I agree totally. No one knows if the agitation causes real fear. I find it scary to even imagine being in that situation.
Took care of many many hospice patients during 20 years and truly have seen these actions as well. Thank you for keeping it real.
Thank you for this channel. I was with both my parents and in-laws as their end of life care giver. I did not have access to any of this information or hospice care ( it wasn’t available at the time) but the doctors were great about the medications and taught me how to administer them because none of them wanted to be in a hospital. They all passed at home, in their favorite spot. Each had different end of life moments but I dealt with each as they came. There was so much trust and loving bond with each of them that I look back on it as a wonderful experience I shared with them. Dying is part of life and as hard as it is to let go, we must; for their sake. I shared the great lives they led for decades and then shared their leaving, saying goodbye was peaceful and satisfying. Thank you for helping me know I did ok:):):)
I got a call from my Aunt telling me that my father had suffered a stroke a week before (My father and I had a very difficult relationship) and that they were moving him to hospice care. Never having known anyone in Hospice care before, I thought it was another department of the hospital one went to recover and told her it was "good he was going somewhere he could get the treatment he needed." He had been unresponsive since the stroke but I did end up going to see him. In the end I was able to tell him all the things that he refused to listen to in life and I am very glad I did.
Good evening Nurse Julie.
This is the last video my mother shared with me through text before she died suddenly from an AVM. She came upon your videos while trying to understand and cope with the passing of her own mother about two years ago which she witnessed.
Below is what she texted me after sending the video:
“I watch her videos and they are so educational about terminal patients. I wish I would’ve been more educated about dying. I felt like mom was suffering but all of her experiences were a normal part of the death process.”
I just wanted to share this with you and thank you from the bottom of my heart for making these videos which helped my mother understand and have some closure with the witnessing of my grandmother’s passing.
Thanks you ❤
Condolences on the loss of your mom and her mom.
The families were lovely. Especially in the last video, how sweet and comforting ❤
Thank you to you and the families who gave their permission for this video. My mum dies 3 years ago and now I finally understand what was going on. ❤😢
This channel brings answers and peace of mind
Thank you so much! I wish I had known about this when my grandmother was in hospice. I was freaked out. They told me it was normal but it wasn’t normal to me!!
My brother-in-law was highly agitated by his sudden terminal ( lung cancer ) diagnosis. He kept moving around his house, poured a much too generous amount of alcohol in a glass and was essentially not in his right mind when I visited him. I was shocked by his behavior trying to comprehend just what was going on. He had been a medical tech in a hospital so was aware of the stages of death; however, as it was happening to him the combination of drugs he was taking and his mental state were quite bizarre. The next time I saw him he was calm but asleep having been giving drugs to settle his agitation. Seeing him conscious and enduring the the reality of his diagnosis was very unsettling to me. He died in a few weeks. I would characterize in this instance his behavior as a combination of drugs and initial disbelief in his diagnosis-a very dangerous time for him and those loved ones around him. In hindsight we think in terms of stages as taking time to go from one to another: diagnosis, disbelief, acceptance, and so forth. With my brother-in-law his death track was very fast. He probably should have been treated differently.....
This would be great for student nurses. . My supervisor/instructor made sure that we had the opportunity to care for dying patients during our rotation on the medical floor. It was the most meaningful experience in my training as a nurse. I have been forever grateful.
Thank you so much 💗💗💗💗
I was not aware of terminal agitation until my husband was actively dying from cancer. He was much younger than your examples and there is definitely a more aggressive terminal agitation. My husband was unconscious, but he was clearly terrified of wetting the bed. He would jump up out of bed and start yelling that he had to go pee. I could not hold him down, he pushed me onto the floor and into walls when I tried to keep him in the bed. He did not know who I was and called me "dude" a few times. I had to have the ambulance come out 3 times just to help me get him back into bed, because after wetting on the floor in the bathroom he would go back to unconsciousness. I would have a chair ready to have him sit on before he fell unconscious. Just a tip......have your cellphone on you 100% of the time when your loved one is actively dying. If I had not had it on me, I dont know how I could have made it to the phone for help and keep him from falling off the chair.
I want to thank you for posting this information, my mom is 87 years old and has been going through dementia for 11 years, and these videos have removed a lot of fear from me ❤ once again thank you 😊
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I had no idea about this. Thank you for the family’s for allowing us to see these videos for educational purposes and thank you Nurse Julie for explaining everything and making this video for us to understand
Our society handles death and dying badly because we would rather focus on idiocy. Your videos are the end point of life and should be seen by everyone. They educate about our fragile nature and make living each day in peace a noble goal.
These videos are so important. I was with my husband throughout the dying process, and if I had not someone explain to me the stages he went through, I would have been so much more stressed. It’s such a daunting process to experience. Channels such as yours provide such insight and guidance. You are wonderful!
May God bless people like you that is there for the dying. That is a job I could never do. People need someone while dying but some of us don't have what it takes to be there.
Thank you so very much to these families for sharing, without you we wouldn't be able to educate and prepare ourselves ❤
Thank you for being here
Thank you so much for your videos. My sister died a week and a half ago. She had multiple strokes in the last few days she was very agitated and couldn’t drink. I know from your videos that that sometimes happens. That helped me get through.
When my wife was passing after 26 years with MS, the palliative care Dr put her on Midazolam and it saved her from all those symptoms and gave her a peaceful death. I was so grateful for that.
My mom and dad have been in home hospice since August 2023, they were moved to a 24 hour round Hospice home about 3 weeks ago. I just got back from visiting with them, my dad has dementia so bad, he kept trying to crawl out of bed, even though he has lost his balance and can’t stand up or walk, he constantly wanted to go go go, he picked at his blankets. My mom was hallucinating and she had trouble talking, she sleeps most the time, her constant refrain is: I just want to relax & holding my hand and begging me to stay with her. We couldn’t stay, my husband caught Covid in Southern California, it’s rampant there again, so I’m stuck in bed with Covid. My parents got Covid, as well as their caretakers. My dad only calmed down when they medicated him, but it was too much Lorazepam for him. I watched Nurse Julie before we left to understand what my parents are both experiencing at the same time. Thank you, Nurse Julie, your videos helped me so much.❤
My 80 year old mother died almost exactly a year ago in Hospice Care. I was with her the entire time. Thankfully, she had absolutely none of these things. She appeared so calm and comfortable. She appeared to just sleep until she finally stopped breathing. The nurses definitely medicated her well. They knew exactly when she needed medication. Thank Zgod for Hospice Care ❤️🙏🏻
Thank you for sharing and thanks to the families. I wish I'd known about all of this when my spouse died of cancer some years ago. A booklet given out by the hospice center just wasn't enough information. Forewarned is prepared. Thanks again.
The patch that dried secretions and pain and anxiety meds all helped my loved one go peacefully saying “don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.”
Great last words❤
My husband died in palliative care in a V.A. hospital. He had terminal agitation. However, the unit had a special little piece of cloth with soft things sewn on in to put under his hands for him to use. I was a C.N.A. years ago and had residents die in the nursing homes I worked in but never witnessed this stage of death. I did experience someone who couldn't eat their evening meal and I just knew they were dying. Charge nurse shrugged it off at first when I came to him but I went back again and he came to check her vitals. She was gone when I came back the next day. I will say V.A. palliative care staff were wonderful and he had a peaceful passing with me and the nurses beside him. I am forever grateful to them. Thank you for your informative videos.
i don’t know if any of the family members of these patients are reading this comment but if you are, i’d just like to say thank you. losing your loved one in this way is so extremely painful, but the fact that you chose to use it as an opportunity to educate caregivers and medical practitioners is truly honourable. you’ve taken your pain and brought something positive out of that to help other people and that is beautiful to me. the knowledge gained from watching these videos will help families and their loved ones going through the same situation. so thank you, it’s truly a selfless act❤
I wish i had these when my dad died 10 years ago. He was in an ICU in a medically induced coma, having several heart attacks. We all had to wear hazmat like suites because a patient had Mersa in the unit. When we took him off life support and everything started beeping and seeing him jolting freaked me out. I tore everything off and ran screaming! But a nurse talked me down and walked me back in. He passed, and looked so much more alive than he did moments earlier. I love you Dad and miss you so very much! And for all you reading and commenting, my condolences for your losses.
My step dad suffered from this the week before he passed. Wouldn’t wear any clothing (including his diaper) kept wanting to stand up every 30 min 24/7 after 3 days of no sleep and fear he’d fall or hurt mom he was taken to hospice house to give him IV meds to help. First day was still horrible but the next 3 days were more calm and he passed peacefully. I had never heard of this condition and it was scary and heartbreaking.
I'm so sorry - it is so awful especially when you don't understand what's happening and why 💗💗💗💗
Thank you so much Julie ,this is educational, I know it doesn’t happen to everyone ,but it’s what to expect if it does ❤
That terminal agitation is also a spiritual side of things. I won't go into it but our whole life, begins and ends with our spirit given to us and where its going when the time comes.
Turn to our God the Lord Jesus. He is the Prince of Peace & Lord of Pardon. You can have the Eternal Rest that can only be gained forever thru Faith in Jesus. Surrender your life over to HIM
I fully agree. I'm currently caring for my 93 year old Dad who has terminal restlessness as he moves between his bed, the bathroom, his recliner and the kitchen. He moves the same circuit regardless of being medicated or not.
I'm now pursuing alternatives like energy work, a grounding mat, and essential oils. 🙏
@djanedoe6673 Pray for him. Ask God to comfort him and use the physical things you can but pray for his calm. May God bless you.
Thank you so much for these videos. My dad was in my care at the end of his life and until I watched these videos, I always thought I wasn't caring for him properly. God bless you for putting me and others at ease.
Oh my goodness, I just went through this with my Dad. He had a stroke and behaved exactly like this. He did survive and is currently in rehab and no longer acting this way. He did this for about 3 days though. True story, at one point I said, "Dad, let's pray" and he closed his eyes and calmed down. When I said "amen" His eyes flew open and he said, "It worked!". We still had about 2 days of this behavior before he started to come back to us. I wondered what his "it worked" response meant and seeing this has me thinking that maybe he was at "end of life" (the doctors thought so) and the prayer actually did work!
That's awesome. I believe it did work.
Amen!
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I did pray with my mom the night before.
I’ll know only in God’s Providence if my prayer was answered as I asked…
Prayer may of not cured him of his ailments specifically, but those may of motivated a part of him to fight the Reaper and stay alive ❤️ Love, and the will to live for those you love, is far more powerful than any godly or earthly power. I hope he continues to thrive, and live his life comfortably with you all.
Our bodies are all programmed to die one day, sometimes death just isn’t on the schedule when we think it is.
Thank you to the families who provided the videos of their loved ones. Probably most here are trying to educate themselves on what's currently happening with someone they love and are caring for (or are about to). Very helpful so thank you again.
Thank you for this educational video series. Your channel is very professional and compassionate. I’m not looking forward to watching my father pass eventually.
Coming from a PM&R physician, you are doing really important work with this channel. Thank you!
honestly why cant we be put to sleep like animals when were on our death bed rather than going through the process. i love what you share and that you show the reality of dying/death. thankyou
Was thinking the same thing ! I would so much rather just be put out then have to go through this
There are some states that allow this, but they are very strict on requirements.
I agree. It was so painful for the family to stand over my mother in law's death bed as she lingered for almost 2 full weeks. Not a humane way to leave this earth.
Yes I totally agree 😢 My brother passed recently from Cancer and he was no more than a skeleton with no life, full of misery etc & all of our family just wished he could pass away in peace with no lingering etc ☮️
@@voguee2I just don't wanna know beforehand, would make me feel very scared
@Hospice Nurse Julie Thank you for teaching me/us about this. I started being a caregiver at the end of 2020, and although I haven't encountered this yet, I'm appreciative of you showing us these symptoms.
My dad was very restless on his last night, a lot like the first video. It was hard not being able to soothe him for more than a couple minutes. There came a point where he clearly wanted to get UP, so we helped him briefly stand. When we got him back on the bed, he was calm, his eyes and body and breathing much more relaxed than before. We said our goodbyes and told him it was OK to go. His last few minutes were peaceful. He was always an athletic man before he got sick and it comforts me that getting on his feet one last time helped him let go
Thank you for showing these videos to teach people what could happen and that there are things that can be done to comfort the patient. My grandmother passed almost 5 years ago. She was extremely agitated and vocal and moving appendages. It was scary to me to witness, as each of us three family members would spend the day with her on our own. Lasted about 4-5 days in a hospital setting. She didn't get put on hospice until the day she passed. I wish I would have known there could have been some medicine administered to help calm her. Again, she wasn't on hospice yet, so hospital was still giving fluids and antibiotics and stuff. I always envisioned she was fighting off the grim reaper until the very end.
Thank you for showing us these videos of the various processes in dying. I wish that my mother, sister and myself had known about this so we could be prepared for our father's dying process which went on for hours and hours. Naturally we were greatly disturbed at what seemed an extremely lengthy process and begged the doctor, who came to the house, to ease his suffering. He did administer some drug but even with that it was another 6 or 7 hours before he passed. I have since been present at three other deaths of friends and not one of them was as prolonged or as agonising as my father's back in 1970.
I lost my father in the late '70s also. Like yours, my dad suffered for hours terribly. It was a different era & thank God we rarely see that these days. Just wanted you to know I understand the pain you feel with those memories. When I start thinking about it I go further back and try to remember all the good, happy times with him. Also, that he is in a much better place and that I will be with him again someday. I hope you can do this & it helps you too❤
Very educational video, short and straight to the point. Thank you
When my mother was actively dying from cancer she’d been unconscious on a pump with midazolam, morphine etc. A night nurse came to help me get a few hours sleep. I was on the sofa asleep, the nurse came in and apologised for waking me. I thought mum had died or was close. What happened was that mum was physically and vocally distressed and the experienced nurse couldn’t calm her. I will never forget her loud wailing. Nurse had given her a meds top up but it wasn’t kicking in. To say I was traumatised by this was an understatement. I managed to calm my mum but had to leave the room to just cry my eyes out. I felt that the nurse could have handled that so much better than she did. I was so appreciative of any help we got but nobody explained terminal agitation before or after my mum died. Thanks for educating so many x
All things my dad went through. He received palliative sedation and his passing was peaceful and remarkably beautiful.
Thank you to the families for allowing us to see these videos. I'm sorry for their losses. 🙏🏻
I really like the real life videos of patients
Thank you so much Julie and the very kind families who realise that others need to know what to expect.
My mum died last year and was always a very peaceful, composed person in her life but in the last few days of pneumonia and heart issues she kept pulling at her clothes and sheets and groaning and moving her legs like she was uncomfortable.
I just fanned her a lot with the sheet, it helped. But you feel so terribly helpless.
She was deaf, so I couldn’t even read to her.
It was cruel.
I pray she is at peace and happy now.
God and church was her whole life.
you do such a great job, narration, and helping us learn
My daughter told me that my ex mother-in-law was like the last woman for about 3 days. They had hospice come in and they gave her something to relax her. Hospice is a God send! ❤
I wish I had seen these videos when my father was in his last days… I took care of him till his last breath.. but I’m not going to lie it was so stressful, I was scared , so so scared and sad at the same time . ..It was so difficult, till this day it affects me . Your videos would of helped me so much ….but better late than never …You have inspired me to possibly volunteer and help others with their elderly parents , going through the transition phase into the next realms of life …
Thanks for sharing this. If we know what could happen it can prepare us to be there to support, rather than be frozen with shock.
My mom had the leg movement like that at the hospital just hours before she passed last yr. I really wondered why she was doing that. I thought maybe she was uncomfortable or in pain. The nurse I asked was indifferent and wouldn't give her anything. I appreciate you showing these bc it's not what comes to mind when you say terminal agitation. I imagined agression. My mom had dementia but she caught Covid and became Septic. It all happened so fast. Please thank the families again from us bc what was shared has brought understanding and comfort. ♥️
I haven’t had to go through this yet, but it is good to know it can happen. I am sure family is relieved when it’s over.
My mom went from really kind and warm to being really childish and spitefull the last few hours. It still bothers me 7 months later wondering if I made the right choice taking her off of life support.
Hugs. You were there that's all that matters.
A lot of people, including myself, give ourselves a hard time about what we could have done, the decisions we make but that is normal. It is part of the grief process. When their behaviour changes and they are so difficult I think it can be the frustration of wanting to go. Just wanting people to know they want to go. You did the right thing.
You could not have done anything more, and she probably became childish and spiteful because she was ready to go. You probably gave her the grace of passing peacefully instead of let her be agonizingly trapped on life support while she was in severe distress.
@@NicoleCzarnecki thank you, I hope time will make more sense of things. Right now the grief is so very hard to deal with.
I really want to thankyou & the families for sharing these video's,I think to actually see it is better than it been explained,well seeing it & having explained are better..
I think it helps us because it could scare you to see a lived one or friend doing something like this,so I think it's important for us to prepare our selves for what we might witness..also finding out what we can do to comfort those going through the dying process is really important..
Thankyou so much for helping educate us..sending loves & hugs,xxxx
I’m so glad you shared this. It also applies to pets! I lost my beloved dog and experienced a lot of the same behaviors before he passed. I wish I would have known that it would be so active. It was fairly traumatic at the time.
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It happened to my beautiful 20yr old Maltese doggy too. I was so distressed as she seemed to be so distressed. It was awful. We keep on giving her Valium and Tramadol but it didn’t seem to help her enough. Oh my little Bella 💔
@@karenglenn6707 I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I completely understand. ❤️
What a great series. This is Reality. Thank you for doing this series.
I would rather just be put out of my misery way before I even got to this stage 😢
I went through this with my mom it was the worse thing I ever saw Julie!!
Thank you for your sensitivity toward patients & their families.
Seeing this I can't fathom why assisted dying is still taboo to so many. I wouldn't want to go through this.