Patients who say they're afraid to die
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- How do we have that conversation and what can we do?
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A week before my 8 yr old son, Eli, was killed in a mva, he told me he was afraid to die, out of the blue. He then asked me if he'd see Rosie and Chester in heaven, our dachshunds that passed away. He was instantly comforted when I told him yes! This now comforts me, that they are all together.
As a mother and now grandmother, I would give anything to be able to hug you right now. I am so sorry about your Eli. What an amazing opportunity he gave you by saying that to you. And the perfect response by you should bring you great comfort! Children are so innocent and pure, they are surely a piece of heaven on earth. I believe with all my heart and soul you'll be with Eli someday and he and the doggies will be there to greet you. May your heart and soul be comforted until that day comes.
I am so very sorry that your little boy passed away at such a young age. I do very much hope that your beautiful dachshunds greeted him with happy kisses and so much love, and I hope they all greet you the same way when it is your time. God bless.
Yes ❤
Sad I wonder if he had a feeling about dying?
💗💗💗💗💗💗💗
I was comfortable enough with my mother’s condition that I asked if she was afraid to die. She said she wasn’t. She said she was just afraid to leave us alone. I’m blessed to have had that relationship with her.
My mom died from cancer a year ago and we had periodic conversations about how she was feeling about what was going on with her. It was a four year battle in and out of hospital with multiple surgeries. About two months before she died she said she was done and wasn’t afraid and she would miss me. I appreciate the relationship we had even more now. I miss you too mom
My mother died just after her 90th birthday.
I don't think she had any fear of death but she
did say that "I'll miss being with you".
My mom was 60 years old when she died of cancer; I remember visiting her in the ICU after a heart attack, all bloated from drugs and treatment. She said she wasn't afraid to die as she knew she would never be the woman she was all energetic and athletic, drinking and laughing with her friends. She wanted me to know she was ready to go and for me to know she was okay.
@@99Michael Thanks everyone for sharing your stories too. Even though people die, this shows they can die a good, peaceful death that is so atraumatic….and that we can enjoy our memories knowing that our loved ones can pass with no fear. The sadness is ours to bear. It’s been 13+ years since my mother passed and I’m glad to say I’ve only had 2-3 dreams where I was aware in the dream that she was even sick. I hope you all have mostly good memories and dreams of your loved ones. 🙏🏻💞🕊
That is almost the same thing my mother said. We were both blessed.
My 77 year old father was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and he was told by his doctors that he only have couple of months to live. While he was in the ICU, my dad told me he was not ready to die and said he still have a lot of things to do. I held his hand and I reassured him that those things will be taken cared of. We prayed together, talked, said our thank you's and I love you's and face timed with our family overseas. It was sad and bitter sweet. He passed away peacefully on his sleep the following day 12/20/2022. I love you daddy. I miss you every single day.
My father in law was ill in the hospital. He had multiple health issues that were becoming untreatable. We visited him on a Sunday, and it was decided he was to come home and go into hospice. We all told him we loved him and would see him the next day, and take him home. He died that night at 3am. Thank you for sharing, I'm glad you had that time with your dad.
@@PanamaRose thanks for sharing your story. It's almost the same as my dad's. The last day I visited him was a Monday and he was supposed to move to a hospice care but he passed away in the ICU at 2am the following day
@@ricavegak😅
😅😅
My mum died in august 2022 she was 77 she was afraid of dying but she had the perfect death all her family at her hospital bed she went nice and peaceful. I miss her terribly
Hi 😊
Im so glad i found your channel. I have mastatized stage 4 colon cancer. My oncologist gave me 6 months in December. But its really up to God.
I totally get the fear of "not existing" anymore. I truly believe that's how God wired our brains- we are meant to live forever and death in the flesh is the beginning of the life that matters, with God in heaven. No more death or pain or sadness or worry..and we get to reunite with loved ones!
I truly believe our fear of not existing is completely normal since we're designed to live forever. Jesus made a way for us by His sacrifice on the cross out of the purest love. ❤
I hope this comment reaches someone.
We arent bodies with souls, we're souls with temporary bodies.
God bless! ❤
As long as I rejoin Francine Mewsette, (my cat who was my 4th daughter!) Francy, I miss you so much! 🐱❤
Amen, Jesus is waiting for us with open arms. Death is the beginning of eternal happiness for those who love and obey Him ❤🙏👣😇
Stay faithful and strong. The Lord is with you all of the way.
Hi Gina❤️. Thank you so much for posting. I have stage 1 intestinal cancer, & really really appreciated hearing from you. I hope you're doing ok, & feeling as comfortable as possible ❤️
🙏🙏🙏 ❤❤❤
I worked in a State run VA in Florida and was taking care of a Veteran that just decided he was tired of living and refused all care including eating and drinking and just shut down refusing to even talk. He was in his early 90's a WWII Veteran. I called the family and about two days later his grand daughter came to say goodbye and again he refused to respond to anyone including her. The grand daughter told me that when she was a little girl he was a pig farmer and they use to call in the pigs and she really had a wonderful memory of that. I decided to call in the pigs with a loud "Sueeeeeeee" and the Vet. open his eye and had a conversation with his grand daughter. She was so happy. That night he passed on.
The last time my sister laughed is a beautiful memory for me. She woke up from a nap and asked me how she died. I laughed and said “honey, you’re not dead yet.” She snickered at herself like I remembered her doing many times. She was not afraid to die the next day. ☺️
I like your sister. I have often thought how glorious it would be to laugh (and mean it) just before leaving this world. My deepest sympathy for your loss.
Betty white said when someone died in her family when she was a little girl her Mom would always say "Now they know the secret" I always thought that was a beautiful response to death ❤❤❤ and a beautiful way to explain it.
That is beautiful. Thanks for sharing that.❤
My brother Keith would always say something very similar. He would say they know now they know...
Now he knows 😢 💜
@318greenman I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother "Keith" God bless him 🙏❤️🙏 Now he knows and I hope it's wonderful and full of beauty and everything he loves ❤️
Thanks I really appreciate u taking the time to respond...
He was an extremely unique person/musician with his own take on The world and an extremely sensitive soul 💜
@@koreyb Really ??? When did you die ???
I lost my dad to cancer. In the last couple of weeks we had a hospice nurse come to the house. I will tell you there's nothing easy or pleasant for the patient and family in the end of life but having a caring person help guide you all through that process makes the world of difference. Our nurse took care of the medical needs, but more than thst laughed and cried with us. You hospice nurses are a rare breed and beyond amazing. It takes a special kind of person to do that role.
As an ER/trauma RN I have a true love and so much respect for hospice nurses. I can deal with blood and horrible injuries, etc., but I could never do hospice nursing. They truly are a special breed.
@@juliemiller3502 They really are. I'm a former firefighter & EMT so I definitely get what you are saying.
It must be a calling. God bless them all. ❤️ They are certainly doing Gods work.
One thing that comforts me about death is the idea that death is something shared by everyone who has ever lived. You are not alone in dying. Every historical figure: Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Albert Einstein, Jesus, Elvis Presley, on and on, including billions of people you never heard of throughout history. Everyone. All of them are your fellow humans, your brothers and sisters - you are part of this group - and every one of them has died. This makes me feel like I am not facing this alone.
Your last statement: "The more open we can be, the more honest we can be, the more peaceful we will live & the more peaceful we will die". Says it all right there. Thank you, Julie.
I have an absolutely terrifying fear of death right now. It keeps me up at night and I don’t want to feel like this and live in fear. I really hope I have a long time left in this life, but I know how quickly that can change. Scares me so much
Ask The Holy Spirit to calm your fear.
We were present when my father died and when my mother died several years later. My father was hanging on for a long time when my brother leaned over and said "Dad, don't worry about us, we can take care of everything and mom now." He opened his eyes and looked at the wall and said "Mama?" then smiled and died. Our mother suffered several small strokes that left her incapacitated and unable to speak. She was going through the same process that you show in your videos as she laid there with diminished breathing. She then came to with wide open eyes and was staring at us, still unable to speak. She then started staring at the wall with a puzzled look on her face and then developed a big smile as her eyes darted back and forth as if people were speaking to her just like at a party. She would stare back at us and then the wall as if wondering why we were not looking that way. I told my mom "I have a pretty good idea of who is talking to you, but they are here for you to see, not us. Tell them that we said hello." Our mom then laid back down and died a few minutes later.
I have to admit, after witnessing this, I have no fear of death. It is just a doorway and the two people that I witnessed going through it seemed pretty happy about it.
Yupp- took my mom a week to die, Mostly slept. But woke up for a few minutes, my last time where she was conscious...."Mom, Mom,...." she said.. I took the Picture of her mother down from wall, who passed when my mom was 12, brought up to her bed so she could see it clearly .... got the biggest SMILE, than that was it. My last moment with her... Death is just a door...
This gave me chills and hope. Thanks for sharing. ❤
My mom died 2 months ago from 2 Stage 4 cancers and Alzheimers. Hospice was there at the end to make sure she was comfortable and pain free.
Thank you to all memory care workers and everyone at Hospice for all you do.
Hospice is great! They were at my home when my husband died. I advise everyone to get hospice in.
@marilyncalvert4143 great advice. Can't say enough good things about Hospice.
The hospice nurses and counselors who helped my mom were amazing as well. We took care of her at home but I'm not sure we could've done nearly as well without their help. Mom asked that two of them be allowed to speak at her service. They checked up on me for 6 months or so after she passed. Hospice workers are heaven sent.
Your videos should be required viewing - by everyone. Just lost my uncle with whom I was very close, this past weekend. My first time in a hospice, and despite the gravity of the situation, I felt prepared-ish, because of you, Julie. Thank you.
Condolences on the loss of your uncle, God bless.
❤
Well I hope you didnt cause more anguish with this advice. I would be devastated if I was not told anything. For Gods sake, you try to comfort someone whom has asked you something. Even if you dont have the answer. I guess Im just one person that no answer or an I dont know is so triggering to me.
@@madelynhernandez7453 ‘Scuse me?
Not wanting to die is different than being afraid to die. You’re right- let them talk and validate their feelings. Listening to someone is sometimes more important than saying anything. I would ask how they feel about being on hospice. I am so glad you are doing this channel! You said everything exactly right! I would always tell another nurse if I was training, I would use each visit as if it was my last visit. I would make each visit count. And after 18 years as a hospice nurse, I am pretty good. Nowhere near perfect, but I can still strive for perfection each visit.
Oh wow!!! Thank you for saying this- seriously means ssooooo much coming from another hospice nurse
I had a living wake a few weeks ago. Being honest and sharing what we wanted to say with each other was precious for both my guests and I.
Never heard of this before but what a lovely idea ❤
They are incredibly brave and selfless to the final breath. Healing to visitors of this living wake.
Here’s one of my dying/death faux pas. It was my first non nursing related experience of death, it was my dear 90 year old grandmother. We were incredibly close in life, and me and her whole family were with her holding a bedside vigil of sorts for 5 days and 5 nights (throughout her active dying phase). We had all talked to her though she wasn’t responding, thanking her for loving us and chatting about old times, we were chatting with each other and just making the hospital room cosy and normal. I’d sang her some of her favorite songs, etc etc you get the idea. So about 2 days before she died, I kissed her forehead and said “it’s ok Nan, you can let go now, it’s time to go”. THE LOOK SHE GAVE ME!!! Prior to this her face had been relaxed, soft and no pain, no responses to anything around her. She looked at me with a mixture of confusion and also ‘who the heck are you to tell me when to go’ 😂😂. God bless her. She was such a loving woman in life, would have given the shirt off her back, though she had a sharp tongue if needed particularly if someone was upsetting her family.
So, while this may not work for everyone, with my loved ones passing away, I’ve started to say “you are safe, we are here, we love you. Please know that all of your worldly things are taken care of here and we have it all in hand, so when you feel or see or smell or just know that beautiful place for you on the other side is near, I want you to know that if and when you wish to go, it’s safe to go.” Never will I tell someone when ‘I’ think it’s ok for them to go ever again, one last lesson from my awesome Nan bless her soul.
Wise words I believe. @jojo1234a I dont believe I'd get any comfort from a person saying that I could let go now and that it was time to go. I had a similar experience being with a friend who was dying, and well meaning nuns speaking similar words to her. She may have hung on for a further 2 months to spite them the dear woman.
I didn’t know your Grandmother but i was very close to mine too.
I hope anyone who would have those words in their mind, would see your comment.
“It’s time to go” should never be told to someone actively dying.
I got a sick feeling in my stomach reading that you said that.
I hope that her nonverbal reprimand made her feel better.
I would take your words to mean, Go ahead and pass, we've been here for days. I know you didn't mean that, but…gosh
@@scharf74 yes! Exactly that, precisely what you just said. I couldn’t have put it better myself. It was a real shame from my side, and as soon as I saw her eyes give me that loving yet stern and slightly confused glare, I apologised profusely to her and rectified my mistake, reminding her that we wanted to be with her and she wouldn’t be alone for all the loving family we had around. And we continued chatting to her about what a wonderful mother, grandmother, great and great great grandmother she has always been. We chatted to her and amongst ourselves around her, including her in the conversation, chuckling about wonderful funny memories, just keeping the atmosphere cool, calm and collected for her. I mean, seriously, who the heck am I to tell my own grandmother, who was many years my senior and therefore many years wiser, the same amazing woman who has taught me so many things in both emotional stability and general life skills such as cooking, knitting, mending clothes etc etc …. Who am I to tell HER that ‘I’ have decided she may now go. Gosh, the shame I feel in hindsight. I have grown, learned, and moved on from it, but I do find it ironically beautiful that she taught me that one last lesson.
After I righted my wrongs to her, I sang her favourite songs to her (she always loved my singing voice), her whole body relaxed and she gently found the strength to lift an arm and stroke/play with my plaited hair, I had a plait to the side of my hair that day as it was easy and fast to do in order to hotfoot it to the hospital. I don’t know if she knew it was me, or was thinking back to her own long black plaited hair from when she was younger, but regardless, she was indeed at ease. I had been singing songs to her for a while, then had a chat/giggle with her (she was not replying of course, but that doesn’t mean we can’t involve them still) about how she is my biggest fan, and she is very patient for putting up with my awful singing voice, I said this with a chuckle. I said to her “I’ll get someone else to pop in and sit with you while I go to the toilet, goodness knows you deserve a break from putting up with me singing away to you”. And she used the very last of her energy to reach both arms up, hug me gently and say “more please”. Those were her last words and the last time she moved. I of course significantly delayed my trip to the toilet and carried on singing, stroking her beautiful soft skin and delicate beautiful hair. I sang all sorts to her. This is what relaxed her enough to enter that coma state from which she never did wake up from.
I cringe at those words I had said to her, it was my first experience of death (at the time) outside of my nursing career, and I naively thought I knew how it would all go, I was very wrong, being with a loved one is incredibly different. My level of care and compassion for patients who were passing has and always will be given my very best, it’s the least they deserve, but I was humbled that day. One last lesson from our family matriarch, and one last set of beautiful moments and memories thereafter. I wanted to post my comment initially to point out to others that, while I cannot judge what their loved ones may or may not wish to hear, just think before you speak and learn from my huge oopsie. Bless her, though I have lost many more close to me since, I do miss her, though she had a long life and was very ready to go and reunite with her husband on the other side, this she had verbalised to me for some years prior to passing, even prior to early onset of dementia.
@@naefa precisely! In the emotions and the immense feelings of it all, it’s so important to speak easy to our loved ones and never talk “about” them as if they aren’t in the room. But, in the very same sense, just think of what words you are saying. I agree that I would probably not get comfort from those words either, to the best of my knowledge, and I dare say I might then hang on just to remind others who is in charge here. Thanks for noticing my comment, I am ashamed of it, but I say it in the hope that others might just be a little more careful before uttering such pretentious words to their actively dying loved ones. When my father passed in my arms in 2022, my words were very different, I had grown and learnt and I hope to always grow and learn. He passed, albeit far before his time, in his bed in the arms of me and my mother who was his wife of many many years, and the peace he felt at the very very end was clear to see. Preceding that though, it was pretty horrific, I have ptsd from it. However, at the end, he found and saw something so beautiful that I cannot even begin to describe his face to you. I’m afraid of the pain and I’m afraid to leave my own children behind, but I’m not afraid to die anymore. Whatever is on the other side of that unknown void is stunningly beautiful and peaceful, I saw his face, I know it to be his truth and also my truth. Sending love and blessings to all who are missing loved ones or are in the process of loosing loved ones. The universe takes as much as it gives, our time here is precious, but they do go on and so do we, this I know as my truth and I say it with pure sincerity from the varied experiences I have been blessed to attend. Sending my love to all.
@@jojo1234a hi there, I was quite moved by reading your reply. You speak with wisdom and express yourself beautifully.
I have always been afraid of death. Then again, God reached out to me and said something like, "Here child, let me show you"! He gave me 4 years of a caregiving privilege with the person who had given birth to me and loved me my entire life. The last 6 months were the hardest, but we had had many talks about her family and she was looking forward to reuniting with all of them. I'm hoping that when I reach that point, if it's not a horrific accident, I hope that I will be at peace and ready to see my mama again!
Thank you for caring for your mom- it's one of the greatest acts of love
Julie...I felt like we had both gone full circle! I wouldn't have done it any different! ❤️
Just want to remind you about the most most important decision we need to make before we die, and that is to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. My father just passed, and wasnt able to pass this on to him in time. I just wanted to let you know a little about what the bible says. For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. So no one is good enough to get to heaven due to the law of the 10 commandments. Bible also says, its not by works should any one boast. So being a good person does not get you to heaven either. The only way to heaven is by repenting of your sins, and putting your faith in Jesus. Bible says, Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. So you see, there is a need for salvation to get to heaven, that is why Jesus died on the cross. He took all of our sins upon him, so that if we call upon him, and accept Him into our Heart, we can have eternal life. We must be Born Again to enter the kingdom of God. You do not get there being a good person, or doing good deeds. Jesus also says, that I am the way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes unto the father, except through me. So please make that decision, so that you can have peace and comfort when your time is up. Its the most important decision of your life. you can then have that eternal peace and assurance before you die. All you you need to do is simply, humble your heart and pray with faith, I repent of my sins, and I turn to You. You said in Your word that if we confess with our mouth, and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, we shall be saved. I ask You Father to forgive me of all my sins, and ask You to fill me with the Holy Spirit, and take control of my life. Its the most important decision of anyone's life. Jesus is the only way to heaven. Please believe me, and research for yourself. Once its over, there is no turning back. Jesus cares for you, and does not wish for you to be separated from him. So many people think that being a good person gets you there, and its simply not true, so please don't ignore. Today is the day of salvation. He loves you, and does wish for anyone to be apart from Him, but to have eternal life in heaven. Be blessed. Im praying for you. Please ask Jesus to come into your heart my friend.
@@Outsider4JC thank you for this and yes please continue to spread the message! My mother and I got our affairs with God taken care of and there's no doubt she is sporting some of the most beautiful wings. For me...I have horrible anxiety and worse with approaching older age and hormone issues. I have no doubt that when my time comes, I will be happy to go!
@@Outsider4JC 🙏🏽 AMEN to that!
My dad passed away 5 January this year after battling cancer. My mom and my son was with him. They prayed for him and sang his favourite gospel songs for him to hear. Both of them say it was amazing jist being with him as he slowly stopped breathing. Thank you for creating this channel. It gives us answers on many questions. Be blessed.
When my husband passed last month, during Thursday night Football, he was where he wanted to be. Brought him home on Monday, Dec 4th and kept the NFL channel on for him. He was non verbal for the most part, other than yelling at the dogs to stop barking.😊. I talked to him, told him that I loved him and I would be alright. Our son came and talked with him, don’t know what was said as he ask me to leave the room. With in 4 hours he was in the arms of Jesus. I still cry at the drop of a hat, but knowing where he is now, and that I did all I could for him gives me some consolation. I honored our marriage vows taken 44 years ago, now I am trying to come to grips with being a widow at 63.
I am not afraid of dying, just afraid of the pain that may be involved.
The part that worries me the most is leaving my kids behind. I just hit 40 and my kids are still young and it’s starting to worry me. I’m not afraid to die because I know what happens next but I can’t leave these little boogers. I pray everyday for the lord to keep me here as long as possible.
I had a beloved friend and pastor who was asked to talk to a child in his congregation who was dying. She wanted to ask her pastor what it was like to die..He explained it like this: Have you ever fallen asleep in the car and then your daddy carried you inside and you woke up safe at home in your bed? I think that's what it's like.
Beautuful!
I certainly appreciate you sharing your experiences and knowledge on this topic. I've shared this platform with several people I know who are experiencing the dying process even if the patient wasn't hospice!
That's pretty much exactly how the Bible describes Death, as a SLEEP*UNCONSCIOUSNESS. It even tells us that the "Dead know NOTHING, yet the Living know they will die....".
@@bethteer1509I've studied the Bible for over 50 years. There is no verse that says they stay asleep. They might need to rest after spending time in this realm, but it makes no sense that they would be in an unconscious state. Listen to some of the Christian NEDs, near,-death experiences.
You know what it’s like being dead ? What it was like before you were born. We have already been dead before
I don’t know how you can do what you do. Shows a special person.
When I was 14 I died while getting my stomach pumped at the ED. I can remember walking down a tunnel or lane and then meeting people at the end, it was as though I could also see what was going on in my bed and with the staff. This was in the 80s and I recall about 20 years later watching a show about NDE and others had had the same experience!
Did this experience change you?
Respectfully, you didn’t really die. The truly dead don’t come back.
Not necessarily Nikki Sixx of the band Motley Crue had a NDE in December, 1987 he was pronounced dead for about 45 minutes after a heroin OD he didn't see any tunnel of light or angels nor demons but he witnessed his body on a stretcher being placed in an ambulance and being surrounded by fans weeping over his death and then he was revived at the hospital and he was dead for a short period of time.
@@DaveBoswell-lz3kc To be dead is to cease producing electrical activity in the brain. When this occurs, one is truly dead, and there is zero chance of returning to life. People are occasionally pronounced dead because breathing and heart function ceases. This is not death.
I just lost my brother on 12-28-23 . I stayed with him 15 hrs. Straight til he passed. We all just told him we would stay by his side. The giving him morphine every two hours was so uncomfortable to me! I think he died peacefully as far as I could tell. 😭I miss him, but know he is in a better place.
What is morphine
Love to you. That must have been so hard to get through. 💗
So sorry for your loss.
@@luanngordon8639 Thank You very much Luann!!! Blessings from my family in Arizona 👋❤❤❤
@@maddybertani8161 Thank You very much Maddy!!! Thank you all so much for your kind words! Yes it was hard Maddy, but I made it through it! Thank you!!!😍
A good friend of mine had cancer and knew he was going to die but had a great attitude about it. Cancer doc gave him 3 months. 3 months later he was still here and went back to the doc and made a joke about it. This went on for over 2 years before it got him. He accepted it better than I could have. Weirdest conversation of my life was in the second 3 month diagnoses. We met at a bar and had a couple beers, then he told me he wanted me to be one of his pallbearers.
I would consider it an honor to be asked, good friends are rare.
@@mattdonna9677 It was a great honor. Friends like him are very rare, at least for me.
Another great video Julie. I was asking this myself before my mother died, however, she wasn't actively dying. She died after heart surgery just after getting out of the ICU. I had a feeling she wasn't going to make it through the surgery, so a few weeks before the surgery, I flew to her and visited her during a weekend I was able to get off work. You're right, it was very awkward and uncomfortable for me to just talk to her. The only regret I have is me not being able to get the courage to talk to her earlier and say more that weekend. However, I was able tell her what I wanted to say. She was the most supportive parent in my life and she helped me in so many ways to get me the life I can't thank enough for. So I told her that. I told her that I am very thankful for all that she provided me, the shelter she gave me, the love to help me, the wisdom to guide me, everything I am is a big piece of her. I wanted her to know that being fully conscious and aware of what I was saying before the gravity of the situation really hit and may not fully understand me while unconscious. She looked at me and was touched. I'll never forget what she said. She said, "when I die, you don't need to worry about me. I'll be okay. When I die....I die." After that I asked her all I could before my ride back to the airport showed up. We talked about her feelings regarding memorial service, what to do with her body, lots of things. I think you're right. Most people do want to here about those things and that the awkwardness is just something of a farce and not to worry about. I guess it shows them how much you really love them and care and want to make sure they know before their life is over. My mother died at 2am from a blood clot in her lungs. She was resuscitated four times but she wouldn't stay. She was 71.
I miss you, Mom. I really hope you're okay.
My point is, I am so grateful I was able to say these things to her. It really helped me through the grief a bit, since I sort of had a feeling this was coming. I really can't say if my siblings took the same initiative or not but at least I know she left this world knowing how grateful I am and how her memory will be with me until my time comes.
You did good ❤️ what a lovely son you are. My condolences .
❤❤❤❤
Julie, thanks for this vid. I recently went through this very situation with my mother. She was 93 and her health was failing. 12 years ago I had a heart attack and died. Lucky for me I was in an ER surrounded by medical professionals including a cardiologist. They brought me back to life. I was able to recall my death experience and have shared it with very few others. I told my mother that there a was nothing to fear, all pain was gone. There was no guilt, remorse or negative experience. I was extremely comfortable. I saw everyone in the ER from above in detail. No pain, no fear. I was where I had always been. My mother passed and here inn this life she gave me I pray she was comforted as she passed.
I’m not religious - agnostic I would say. But I have to say, people like you are angels. Absolute angels. Thank you.
It frightens me that you are not sure of your eternal salvation. One great thing about Jesus Christ is He's not looking for a religion but a relationship with all who will call upon His name, repent (turn away from sin), seek Him and ask Him to be your Lord and Saviour. We will all serve a master and we will all live in eternity. The decision we have to make is who will we serve? Those who ride the fence, chose Satan outright, and those who die before choosing will spend eternity in Hell separated from God. Those who sincerely choose Jesus Christ will spend eternity in heaven with God. I pray you get off the fence, seek Jesus Christ while He can still be found and surrender yourself to Him. You will not regret that choice. Praying for you to make the right choice soon because none of us are promised tomorrow. 🙌🙌🙌❤❤❤
@@THEJ0KER8888 shut up
@@dog-eared6991 Hit a nerve? Just maybe the Holy Spirit trying to get your attention. God bless!
Hi Murphy I can give you proof for God if you’re interested
It is really selfish to say, look at all these good people do you think all go to hell just because they don't believe in a certain religion, c'mon that thought is so immature you can have a way better god a moral one not a tyrant. A loving god is not supposed to abuse the power.@@THEJ0KER8888
I had a a friend that I knew through work who was dying from cancer. He called me to literally say good bye. We spoke a little bit about what he was going through and his concerns. At one point he said that he just hoped he had made a difference in his life. I could tell he was tearing up thinking about it. I responded yes, you have made a difference! He asked do you really think so? To which I replied, I know so. This was a very truthful statement because he was one of the kindest men I had ever known. I really think me telling him that put him at ease. He said I love you guys, to wish I replied , we love you too!
His funeral was probably the most attended that I had ever been to. It was standing room only in the back of the chapel. Several people went up and talked in front of the group to praise the man and how he had touched their lives! It was really a celebration of his life!
"There is something about saying your truth that lessens the grip of fear." Well said.
You are such a sweetheart Julie. I'd love you to be there with me when my time comes. Thank you for all the information you give us and your kindness. You are indeed a special human being. ❤
I appreciate your videos very much. I was in university in the 70s when Dr Kubler-Ross broke the silence by talking about death and dying. My thesis was a cover for her work which was just being released. Now, we are advanced to being comfortable about talking about NDEs.
This generation should be grateful for Dr Kubler-Ross and YOU. Dr Kubbler-Ross' work was from the patient's perspective. You add help to the bystanders (family, etc.), and that is so wonderful. Bless you, for all you do.
If you can only say "I don't know" and it is possible, maybe add "....whatever happens I will be here with you."
I’d say “we don’t know” because presumably both are alive and everyone can die at any moment. 🙏
Before my aunt passed I got the chance to thank her for showing me Dog Tooth Violets along a canal towpath when I was five. That small thing has directed a large part of my avocation for the out of doors, though I didn’t realize it until decades later.
Palliative care nurse, this is a gift you have been given.
Who gave you this gift ?
If someone is dying and needs love care and understanding, who cares who gave you this beautiful gift.
Keep doing what you feel is right .
X
A month after my husband and I got married we got the call his grandmother went in to get checked for a chest cold and found she was end of life with cancer that metastasized everywhere but the lungs were worst. She was given 3 days.
We drove up to her every day first thing in the morning and sat with her. My husband was very uncomfortable but I’d been through this before with all of my grandparents so I just sat next to her and crochet. I’d occasionally take a few pictures of family with her or holding her hand. I helped some of the more distraught family care for her, roll her once she wasn’t conscious, to prevent further pain (she was grimacing) and helped them remember what meds etc.
at the time my husband said I was trying too hard. And he didn’t want any of the pictures etc because he’d never want to remember this. And I told him I’m not disrespecting your choice. But I will take these photos and put them on a disk and put it away and once you’re through the grieving and have a more sound grip on the changes if you don’t want them we’ll erase them.
He now cherishes those photos. Pictures of him holding her hand, pictures of him kissing her hand and tucking her in. Photos of the family sitting with her on the bed and singing or brushing her hair. None of the photos were disrespectful in any means but he’s very glad to have them now. Sometimes even just being present is all that is needed not just for the dying person, but the grieving people around them.
FWIW his family hates me now for unrelated issues, but at least we got to have her at our wedding, and say goodbye to her.
Excellent as always Julie. I was a nurse & always found patients most of the time need someone to listen. Sometimes family just want to stay away from the subject & the patient just finds it helpful that they can talk & not always be given advice.
As a pediatric cancer survivor who is now suffering from sudden onset of CHF with a EF output of 15% as a result of the treatment in the 80’s I was fortunate to learn at an early age that life is short and to live everyday to its fullest as tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. I’ve always looked at it as we started dying from the day we were born and to take nothing for granted. I’d love to live forever but that’s not realistic, but I’ve lived the best I could, I make everyone laugh I’ve always been the comedian in the room and I’ve done everything I wanted to do and I have no regrets and I don’t stress over things I cannot control it is what it is. I’ve always been kind to strangers and help when I could for people I didn’t know, I can talk to strangers for hours and end up making a friend something that always got me in trouble at work 😂. I honestly wish more people could have this kind of peace and to live happily without regrets.
@@pcs9518 i have so many regrets
I absolutely believe pets have souls. And in an after-existence. It is somewhat of a comfort. I also believe that even though a loved one looks like they are unconscious they can hear and understand what people say, music playing, someone reading to them etc.
After watching your video + reading many comments, I feel that ‘yes’ death + dying can be an awkward process. And that most of us don’t like to experience awkwardness/the unknown is really not surprising. It is blatantly unrealistic to think, within our lifetime, that we will not need to deal with the experience of death + dying. We just will. The closer we can come to opening ourselves up to the awkwardness, the uncomfortableness and explore our feelings around it, the better. For everyone. We are going to feel loss in our lifetime. It’s isn’t to be glossed over, forgotten or shunned. It is a part of the journey of life. It can cause pain. The real ‘loss’ though can come when we don’t appreciate all the small + insignificant pieces that add up to be our life. A fulfilling life. Love now. Appreciate now. Awkward + uncomfortable. It will all come + go. Thank you Julie. I love you and the wisdom you bring, all of it, to this life. 😌♥️🌟
Julie - what a wonderful response....no response, until they have finished with what they wanted to say!
When I was very small and first became aware that all life ended in death I told my dad that I was afraid to die. His answer took away all my fears and has sustained me ever since. He said “do you remember what it was like before you were born?” I said “no”. He said “well, that’s how it’s going to be after you’re done with living. You won’t feel fear or be aware of anything…..you simply won’t be anymore.” I’ve never bought into the idea of an afterlife. It’s an illusion as far as I’m concerned but if people want to comfort themselves with that it’s fine with me. I love what you’re doing Julie because the dying process is what can be scary to me, not what lies on the other side.
But what if you are wrong?
I think your Dad was very wise in what he said. It is the “great unknown” whichever way you cut it. Yes, unknown. 😌♥️
I've thought a lot about this very thing. And honestly it gets me more. That I'm going to be dead and not know.
I don't want to cease to exist..but it's the dying that's terrifying...once your dead you will never be aware of it...your father was wise in his analogy
"I was dead for millions of years before I was born, and I never felt the slightest inconvenience from it.'" - Mark Twain
I think it's important to say something to make them feel unafraid such as telling them they will be with loved ones who have passed before them or that they will be Heaven, whatever beliefs you may have. Offering some comforting words is something I think is important.
Just want to remind you about the most most important decision we need to make before we die, and that is to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. My father just passed, and wasnt able to pass this on to him in time. I just wanted to let you know a little about what the bible says. For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. So no one is good enough to get to heaven due to the law of the 10 commandments. Bible also says, its not by works should any one boast. So being a good person does not get you to heaven either. The only way to heaven is by repenting of your sins, and putting your faith in Jesus. Bible says, Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. So you see, there is a need for salvation to get to heaven, that is why Jesus died on the cross. He took all of our sins upon him, so that if we call upon him, and accept Him into our Heart, we can have eternal life. We must be Born Again to enter the kingdom of God. You do not get there being a good person, or doing good deeds. Jesus also says, that I am the way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes unto the father, except through me. So please make that decision, so that you can have peace and comfort when your time is up. Its the most important decision of your life. you can then have that eternal peace and assurance before you die. All you have to do is humble your heart and say, Jesus, i believe you died and rose again, I repent of my sins, I ask you to come into my life, be my Lord and savior, I give you control. From this day forward, I want to live for you. Its the most important decision of anyone's life. Jesus is the only way to heaven. Please believe me, and research for yourself. Once its over, there is no turning back. Jesus cares for you, and does not wish for you to be separated from him. So many people think that being a good person gets you there, and its simply not true, so please don't ignore. Today is the day of salvation. He loves you, and does wish for anyone to be apart from Him, but to have eternal life in heaven. Be blessed. Im praying for you. Please ask Jesus to come into your heart my friend.
The best thing we can do is offer this to the living.
The ONLY lasting hope anyone has is this; John 3:16-18
"Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me has everlasting life."-Jesus(God)
I love how you said 'i let them talk and just listen'. Im a grief counselor who listens atleast 75% of the time and speaks only when needed.
I simply want to thank you. Your channel is SO important. Your chosen specialty is SO important. A colleague/friend of my who live with stage 4 breast cancer for 10+ years passed earlier this week. I am so grateful that she had hospice care at the end of her life. Your messages in these videos is so important, not just in the understanding of what the act of dying looks like, but also in the understanding that it is 100% ok to say ‘we dont know’, or I’d be scared too, and to just be present for our loved ones who are dying. Thank you HNJ, thank you.
Not only do I appreciate the things you teach and help all prepare to be kind, supportive and gracious to our loved ones, it's so wonderful to see that you come home from a challenging day (probably more than most) and slip into your comfy grey trackpants just like all the rest of us. 👍🙃
Dear Julie, my mother died at Christmas at the age of 90 in a hospice... Your videos and all the information you have shared about dying helped me a lot to elaborate her (sudden) death. I just wanted to say thank you. God bless You.
👑💛🌹
Bless your heart. I hope that the pain of loss gives way to pleasant memories of better times very soon.
I just had a big ugly cry over my life's partner who died last April. He had served as a home hospice Chaplain for 10 years and was quite accepting of his death. I ,on the other hand, still can't come to grips with his absence from my life. Our last conversation was quite normal. He called me from his house, as I was laid up in rehab recovering from a broken hip. My wife had died five years earlier in the same facility where I was recovering. Her death had a gradual onset, and many of her children and grandchildren were present.
The thing about grief is that it is love that no longer has a place to go. Hugs from this stranger, if you care to accept them.
It hasn't been very long since you lost your partner, so still feeling the rawness of your grief is quite normal. But hang in there -- there will come a time in the not too distant future when joy will be back in your life again.
What you do is amazing!!! Thank you for helping these people as they go through this transition. ❤
„There is something about speaking your truth that really lessens the grip of fear.“ - WOW: Most powerful sentence I‘ve heard in a long time! 👏
Agree
May God bless you mightily for all you are doing. I truly believe in letting my loved ones know what I would want when it’s my time. I do not want them burdened in any way. You make this so easy and comforting. Your patients are truly blessed.
20 years a hospice nurse and chaplain. Without question, the patients with a strong religious background do the best dealing with death. The most peaceful and even joyful patients end up being those sold out for God. These are the patients that minister to us Hospice workers in the way they handle death with such grace and joy.
Dave RN, Chaplain
I read about that in the book, the grace and dying by Katherine Singh. That the ones who have the easiest time dying are the ones who are religious or spiritual. They tend to have very
peaceful deaths.
Wow, such a valuable video, not just for hospice but for many circumstances in life. Thank you.
This is a master class in how to deal with eol situations. And also just about any situation. Be honest, be real, speak from your heart. At 69, I'm just starting to learn this. Thank you Julie!
You are such an amazing, insightful and thoughtful person. The peaceful part of passing you have helped facilitate to so many people is heartwarming. We definitely need more thoughtful and well trained folks like yourself for end of life care. The healthcare system of late seems to be suffering with lack of staff overall. Hopefully, that will change. Stay well and rested yourself Julie, we need you. Thank you for all you do.
This has got to be my most favorite video. I've been watching several of your videos and they are all great but this one is so smart and so insightful that I had to stop and give gratitude. I love in previous videos you've been open about being an addict and human yourself and every video is so educational. I love what you're doing and want to show support. Many others feel they want to share stories in the comments about the loved ones they have lost and I get that. I will keep mine personal but please know that you hit a note with a lot of people looking for comfort
This is an excellent video. The single most important thing is to show up!!!! It means so much! I have never regretted showing up for friends and family in their last hours on earth. Listen to this more than once if you need to and then, go!
Yes, my mom was in a coma in icu and I read books to her, because she loved reading. I can only hope she heard me, but it did give me some peace.
I think this is one of the most helpful sessions you have given. Thank you
I never told my ex husband that I loved him
I'm sorry that I didn't.
I was more concerned with not saying things that might have caused him regret. He knew he was dying. I just offered my presence.
He in turn, gave me so much more than I could have given him.
Hello good morning Deborah how are you doing I’m Fred from Minnesota 😇🙏🏼
You sound like a wonderful nurse and whoever has the opportunity to spend their last days with you, is very very lucky. Thank you for the work that you do, the compassion you have and the honesty you speak.
You are a special kind of person to help the dying and their families cope with the inevitable. We all will face one day, but for you to see it day in and day out is extraordinary.
Thank you for all of your videos about dying and your experiences. I like your advice to be honest and to just listen. My in-laws were both in their early nineties, married over 60+ years, they passed 11 months apart in a hospital setting. We had a fabulous hospice nurse and amazing, comforting care before and after. You help make such a difficult time understandable. ❤❤❤❤
When my aunt was in hospice I wrote down all the thing we had in common while growing up and went over them together!
I can tell you are a WONDERFUL hospice nurse and a comfort to your patients.
I am not afraid of death. I am afraid of the proces of dying.
Having lost my dad some years ago, I feel,that my outlook on life has changed forever. I felt guilty for not being able to save him after all the years he had looked after me when I was a child. I'm now aware of my own mortality. 🇬🇧
I was only 18 yrs old when my aunt whom was like a 2nd mom to me was end stage lung cancer and I’ll never forget the care and compassion fr the hospice nurse , my aunt wanted to die at home on her own terms lol and she did , she told us my time is coming soon and the look of peace on her face was unbelievable, she was seeing her parents my grandparents talking to her dad mostly and we were like aunt Carol pls tell them we miss them too and she’s giggle , death doesn’t have to be scary with the right help and amazing ppl like you it helped me tremendously to deal with losing her and accepting it. Course she waited till we were all in the kitchen and finished supper she passed peacefully at 6:01pm. I was with my father as well when he was taking off life support 7 years ago my sister and I never left his side till his last breath.
You’re amazing Julie. My Mom absolutely kicked me in the gut when she was placed in Hospice care. At first she was loving the visits but then almost immediately she told me to make them go away, she didn’t want them here. So i obviously asked why and if something happened and she told me “….hospice is for people who are dying and I’m not dying”. Ton of bricks. Shed had all the conversations with the Doctors and I just held her and told her I loved her.
was anyone still terrified? even until the moment of their death? Could you help them? It's a terrifying thing, because no matter how much faith we have, we still don't *know*! I felt so guilty when my mom had cancer and surgery (she fully recovered btw), I found myself thinking for the first time in my life, "what if it's not true!?" It's hard for anyone to face and I admire those who are brave and strong about it....
We can pray 🙏 for God to give us the faith we need. Remember
John 3: 16, there are many promises in the scriptures, Revelation 21:1-4
My only son died unexpectedly on August 10 2022. I knew he was saved, and I'd see him again. Knowing this has carried me through this,the worst thing I've ever been through.
When you accept Jesus into your life as your Lord and Savior, believe who He is and on His death and resurrection, His Spirit comes to "live within you". John 3:16 as person mentioned...Emmanuel..means God with us. He helps you to understand and to KNOW by His Holy Spirit. He gives you a peace that you have never felt before. It's amazing. I hope you seek Him out and know that you will be saved.
During Covid's lockdown period, I did a deep dive into religious history. As a result, I've come to the idea that the very worst outcome for me will be simply that I'll fall into unconsciousness and never regain it. I believe that anything else will be a wonder to behold, and I'm not at all afraid anymore.
While I was on hospice myself. The Lady chaplain could not help my fears of death. She gave up. Unless one has faith in God and is assured of their eternity. No one can make them no afraid of death. I just don't know what truth is .I believe in God. Just not sure about religion
@@sbee985 , I once was a believer. Even as a child I feared death. Always have. Now, I have studied many beliefs and am more of a Jew in my beliefs. I am now in my last days/ months and no one can say anything that helps
I believe in God. The one true G-d. I think being brought up in a Christian home. The fear of hell stays with me. So I stopped hospice as they wanted to give morphine which would not have worked since I am on blood thinners. I don't want to die any sooner than God wills.
My friend who passed away at 37 from esophagus cancer was in hospice the last time i saw him and was able to speak. He said he wasn't afraid to die he just wasn't ready to go. Ill never forget the pain in his eyes when he said that. I wish i knew what to say. All i could say was i wish he didn't have to go either. That was 15 years ago and it still breaks my heart.
As a caregiver I always try to smile and hold their hand and follow their lead. Recently I had a patient who was afraid He wasn’t going to Heaven. I am an ordained minister and I read scripture to him and assured him that when it was his time Jesus would come for him. We sang hymns and he held my hand . He died the next day
Dear Julie, the most beautiful of all in this video is that, speaking about this topic, you actually talked about how we should be towards each other during our lives. Everything you said. Great video. A new subscriber sends you praise and greetings. 🙂👋
I would give them a couple of books, assuming they are still interested in reading, or read them to them if they want me to: One is called After by Bruce Greyson, MD and Erasing Death by Sam Parnia, MD. Both are medical doctors who have a great deal of experience with dying, death, and near-death experiences, and both believe pretty firmly there is continued existence after death. Both books are writing from a secular, scientific perspective, so no religious faith is involved. If my loved one was religious I would give them other books too of course.
You are a gift to those who have or will ever have to have hospice for anyone or theirselves thank you it is the most difficult times to go through .
At the end stages of both my parents lives (my mom had GBM and my dad had stage 4 lung cancer) we had each of them in large room in our house. We played soft music, dimmed the lights and used a fragrance infuser that had a warm steam function. It just helped with the overall ambiance. We did this when the diseases were in the end stage. They were each in comatose states and stopped eating and getting in and out of bed. My dad passed in 2007 so I was prepared for my mom’s death in 2016. He was only 58 years old and my mom was only 66 years old. I’m sitting here shaking my head thinking about how heathy, active and wonderful people are gone from chronic illnesses and how people who don’t take care of themselves are still alive! It’s not fair
Life isn't fair
I assisted the at home deaths of my father and husband on hospice. Although it was very difficult, hospice was a godsend. I appreciate you and what you do ❤️
I often find that the honest answer is counterintuitive, but the last thing most people want during their last hours is to be entertaining desultory lies. You give wise counsel🌹
When i’m dying, I want you to be my hospice nurse. You’re an exceptional human being in so many ways
It sounds u hold this very strong to ur heart,maybe because you're not satisfied in how things went,but it sounds to be also ur holding resentment towards your mom & brother,I may not know much maybe but I do know that it's family who we resent the most because we have this expectations & sometimes our tired body will give up on us and then u will never have that moment again,just think for a moment if they wish they done things differently or how bad it affects them as well to know this & instead be a strong support don't let bitterness get the best out of you be able to put that to rest and I do hope for ur peace of mind so u can live a good life wish u a good 2024 from a friend from California really close to san Francisco'
@@Marthalilia-gs5wh - Thank you for caring so much to give such good advice! I can’t tell you how much I truly appreciate it. Things have indeed been difficult and I fear they’ll never be the same between me, my mom and brother, but your advice is spot on and brings me great comfort x 💛
I’m so sorry for the loss of your father and also for the way your mom behaved towards him while he was in hospice. I lost my mom in 2021. I took care of mom for a long time before she went to a home. She was with my husband and I for over 7 hrs and her level of care exceeded what I could do for her at home. She needed a feeding tube etc. But, I was there at that home all the time to help with her care. She was 84 when she died. I felt compelled to reply to your comment because I can relate to how you feel about how your father died. To make a long story short, my goal was to be with my mom when she died. It was the last thing I could do for her, to be there with her when she took her last breath so she wouldn’t be alone. But, it did not work out that way. The hospice nurse said it would be approximately 48hrs. I needed hip replacement and I was in so much pain from sitting in the chair next to her for so many hrs I just wanted to lay down for a bit to get it to calm down so I could get back there. We got a call just a few hours later. My mom had passed, without me there. My husband and I spent 3 hrs there with her and stayed till the funeral home took her. I cried and cried. My mom’s eyes we open also and mouth wide open. If you look back at Julie’s videos You’ll learn that the eyes being open including the mouth is very natural. All of the muscles relax, so this is why that happens. I suffered for months about not being there with her, even knowing what I know. And what I know is, you can be with them vigilantly and as soon as you get up once to go to the bathroom they pass. A lot of times because they don’t want you to see them go. And, please listen to me when I tell you, he was not alone. Our bodies die but the spirit does not. I’m quite sure loved ones gone before him were there to guide him. My wish for you is to find peace about this. I know how you feel, but your father knows your heart and he would not want you to worry about this. I’m sure your brother did not mean to fall asleep and your father I’m sure passed peacefully. I hope this somehow helped you. i agree with you about Julie! I would want her as my hospice nurse too! Mom died much much sooner then they expected when they evaluated her, 48 hrs turned into only 6 hrs and she was gone. They are very good at what they do and are usually very accurate but, sometimes not, they don’t have every bit of control over that. Please know your dad would not want you to feel bad about this, believe me he would not want this for you. Just know that he is happy and not sick anymore. You will see him again sweetheart, he will be there when your time comes. That’s what I think about, I’ve even had little signs from her. I also talk to her every day and I know she hears me. Hugs to you. ❤🥰❤🥰❤🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thank you so much! I’m in tears over your compassion and your level of understanding. I’m so sorry about your mom! I’ve heard many stories of devoted loving people who can spend 23 hours a day with their loved one, and when they leave for a bite to eat, they aren’t there when their loved one passes away. The most comforting thing you wrote was how when it’s my turn to go, i’ll be reunited with my Dad’s soul. I personally truly believe that. I too talk to my Dad everyday and it’s been over 7 years. Also, you wrote that even though he died alone without a physical body right next to him, there is no doubt he had knew we were all in our home together and the loving souls that passed before him, and the unimaginable, unconditional love of God were all there with him too. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. The pain of it all seems lighter. I’m glad I wrote a comment and received caring, kind and understanding words of support from people like you and the previous person. I’ll keep both of you in my prayers.
Julie, you’re great. I appreciate the way you communicate the best way to handle dying situations.
My dad died for 7 minutes when he was in his early 20’s. He popped out of his body, went to heaven, saw Jesus and was told it wasn’t his time and that he needed to go back as he had more work to do. He recently died in November at the age of 84 peacefully.
My condolences, and also what an incredible near death experience.
Everybody should watch these videos to be forewarned of what's to come. Great content and presentation. 🇦🇺 😊
My wife passed from GBM in 2018. You have no idea how I wish I'd have had the information you share back then. I live with constant 'canna, coulda, shoulda' daily. While Hospice was helpful to some extent, overall I'd have to give them a 2 star of 5. Had we had this guidance the whole experience would have been SO different for her, me and our kids. Thank you.
I overdosed on synthetic marijuana during Christmas Eve, i knew i was dying, could barely breathe, heart palpitations, couldn't see , very scary and traumatic event, nothing peaceful about knowing you're about to expire, so happy God heard my prayers and allowed me to live !
Genesis fan ?
Great Advise ❤ My Aunt is going to be 97 ❤ Thank 😊 🙏 You Julie ❤
I have had experience of being there as a family members died , my sister-in-law was 39 died of breast cancer and what scared her most was leaving her children , it really was a quite traumatic end of life until she was medicated. We sat talked about family life and tried to be happy hopeful she could hear us and we will be fine . Then another family member who was 85 at the end for the last 24 hours just looked upon the corner of the ceiling, very peaceful and yes had the death rattle in his throat but was calm
I'm fortunate that my faith in Jesus gives me comfort that once I leave this world I'm going to a better place.
I can't wait to go home.
Amen
Exactly! If I didn't know the Bible and the Truth about eternity, I'd be scared to death about death.
We are so blessed to know the truth! John 14:6 🙏🏻✝️❤️😊
A typical believer’s yearning: “I can’t wait to be with Jesus, this world is so corrupt, evil, and sinful. To be honest, the last day of my life is the day I look forward to the most.” Yet the same person says of abortion; life is such a beautiful gift we must preserve it.
Amen. Dont forget to remind others how important it is to accept Jesus before our time is up.
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom… as an RN with fifty + years caring for children and adults, your information is accurate and helpful… having been with innumerable patients at end of life, I am so glad more folks are learning about these issues…keep going, you are doing a valuable public service!❤
I love nurse Julie wish I could have her as my hospice nurse should I ever have to enter hospice I’m already in palliative care I do know I love my palliative care doctor she is so sweet and caring she also is a hospice doctor
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Your something special Julie for what you do for a living and how you help people with your channel and I appreciate it. I started watching this video teary eyed thinking of my half sister succumbing to cancer. She was in hospice in her room and told me "I dont want to die". I let her talk and I didnt want her to see her older brother (me) upset. She stated God was punishing her for the life she lived. I told her that was not true and asked her what she had done that God would punish her for. I then said to her she was such a kind heart and that she had some bumpy roads in her life but she was special because of her care for so many animals and what she had done trying to help people in her life. Inside I was trying my best not to get upset and stated to her how much I loved my stepmother (who I grew up with) and told her how much she was so important to all of us as she helped so many people. She taught me kindness, respect, consideration of everyone. I told my sister she was in many ways like her, but that she was herself, and God needed her in his plans. Im not a touchy feely person but my regret is that I didnt give a hug at that moment. I told her I loved her very much. She was at peace. I had to leave for a short time and when I came back she had passed. A weird thing I wanted to mentioned is 20 years ago I stayed home from work feeling very sick. I fell asleep on the floor in front of the TV. I woke up sweating and was dreaming I was having a heart condition. I awoke and the phone rang and my sister informed me that my father passed away. He had a heart condition for many years. Its a strange thing to happen. Some reason I keep thinking about my sister this last week. She was special.
Good message Julie. I think its all about education. This is why I recommend that movie, After Death....Good work!
My wife was in Hospice care for close to for months before she passed 11 weeks ago. All done at home. The people who helped my wife through this were real Pros. They said that both of us couldn't have done it better. We both had a good life together. 55 years, and 2 months. After 56 years, the MS finally got to her.
The last time I saw my grandmother, before I left she said, “Don’t cry when you hear that I’m gone. Laugh! I’m in a better place.” I had to go into “stone cold combat veteran” not to cry and just said, “Well, you remember that I love you, Grandma. Always have, always will.”
She died in a cousin’s arms four years ago at the age of 106, but was largely isolated because of the pandemic. She was written up in the local paper as “the oldest resident in the county,” and sometimes complete strangers would come by and ask to see her. She’d come onto the porch of her house and wave at them.
My dad threatened to come back and haunt me. I told him I hope ghosts don’t have a sense of smell, because I’d likely ruin my underwear and the smell would kill him twice. I’m sure all the neighbors heard the laughter. My dad had served in Korea and Vietnam. He was only 59 when multiple myeloma took him in 1992…but I can still hear that laugh🥲
Anybody would be blessed to have you around at the end of their life. You seem so comforting.
Seasons don't fear the reaper, nor do the wind, the sun or the rain, we can be like they are......🤔
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Listening is a skill. Gentle touches, knowing nods, validate all their thoughts/feelings. Listen with your body language, feel relaxed, very much like how a little kid will behave, if they dont know, they will say "I dont know".
There is no such thing as "your truth" - there is THE truth, and then there is your perception or interpretation of that truth.
Thank you for your insight Jane Smith ❤️
Thank you for this powerful message! I have lost both my parents, my aunts and uncles…and everytime I found I wanted to soften the dying experience for them, and was never saying or just being quiet…which made all of the deaths uncomfortable for both of us. I know as a person I am not good with silence and listening…the void is too much for me. I have saved your video and will work on listening more and being honest to them. Thank you!
Thank you Julie for sharing all this awesome awesome information! You are in the midst of your destiny! Thank you for your obedience to the Almighty because you were helping so many people. I spoke to my doctor about palliative care today because I learned about it from you and that is what I need now and so she is referring me. Bless you and your family and the rest of your life!❤ 1
Thank you so much for your videos. They bring so much comfort to my prospects. ❤
I would ask the patient , “ what does your heart and instinct tell you?” And “Are your heart and instincts usually correct?”
I wish I'd seen this earlier this year when my Uncle was dying from cancer. I look back and wish I could have talked about all our funny memories and how grateful I was for him.
I was so sad and overwhelmed by losing him that I'm afraid I didn't help him.
I got to tell him I was there and loved him, but I regret those last moments so much.
My belief is that he knows you did the best you could while going through the shock of it all. Are you willing to consider this possibility?