Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Narcissist. pred·a·tor noun 1. an animal that naturally preys on others. 2. a person or group that ruthlessly exploits others.
I wanted to understand the male perspective more, but I could immediately hear how Steve Harvey is a narcissist. I'm SO HAPPY someone else caught this! My heart breaks for his wife. Steve said something along the lines of "Because I can't protect my wife while she's deep-sea diving, she doesn't do it anymore. In fact, she doesn't do anything adventurous anymore, and she understands why." That made me so sad for her.
wow, that’s so sad! that thinking doesn’t even make sense because.. obviously!? isn’t the thrill and seeing things most people won’t the enjoyment of it too? so, she’s just a damsel in distress if he’s not around? incapable of being there for herself? maybe i’m naive or “young” but i’m honestly lost?
I am very glad that I found your channel. I am a 61 year old woman who was an only child of an extreme narcissist and am still working out the mess. Keep you the good work. Thank you!
I've told plenty of men after a first date that think they are entitled to intercourse, to get a prostitute because I am not one. And, if I was, they couldn't afford it lol
@@erock4319 and worse than that, you don't know her sexual history with STD's ect… and who wants VD or you find that they abused their kids or that someone is a rapist or has been in prison especially more than once but once is enough to me. Marriage was made for sex, not before that and if people waited to know someone before marriage except the sex just think how much better everyone's lives would have been??
Your video is spot on! Especially the part about the battery pack. I've read many books about women ( who are now incarcerated) who in the early stages of their marriages to their then Husband the wives have did ALL THE WORK e.g. raised the children, did the housework, went to work to earn the paycheck while the wife put their Husband through a professional school. Then when the Husband gets the degree, starts making a huge paycheck they meet a younger women & dump the Wife that stood by them in the very lean years. Happened to one woman in California. He's dead, she's in prison.
Omg I was gifted this book by my narcissist bro in law! When I read the title I remember feeling uncomfortable 😣 as if being a woman and thinking as one is so low. I never read the book. I just left it on my shelf and just last month gave it away to a book store. It was great to hear you break this down!
I was a teen when I started seeing this guy literally everywhere, promoting that book. I remember him sparking my curiosity and then just giving answers that make no sense, almost (but not quite) convincing me that they're funny instead of bullsh!t. I remember having moments of: "wow, if all men really are like this, I want absolutely nothing to do with those creatures" and "like, so basically anything a woman does could be used against her?" I also remember my mom frowning but unable to think of anything to say. Now I Googled it as an adult to see what the heck was wrong, and found you. Thank you for helping me see exactly what I was missing!
Oh WOW...you broke that down beautifully. That reciprocity factor is true. I often tell the men that have crossed my path, they have a right to "waste"your life and the time that you are given, but I do not give you a right to waste my life and time... And I still have found myself entangled. I'm buying the book...I don't want to play the game. Thank you for your insight.
Laurie Simmons Thank you sister..it comforts my soul when I see others in the light and see what's going on in the dark. This world is filled with demos fallen angels but just as so also many angels of Christ who come from and walk in the light. God help us all sister..Amen to that!!😘🙌
Of course it's scary -- narcissists love to scare you. Page one, he scares you, and spends the rest of the book hoovering the reader into thinking they must maintain the relationship. Classic. See? we're learning. :-)
Exactly. That was my first impression of the first page. "WOMEN! Men are taking advantage of you and using you, but I am such a good guy that I am breaking the code and telling you how to win!!!. Trust me or you will be hurt again". It is a classic fear ploy and the wrong mindset. The book should tell you how to notice these men and RUN! Not how to play their game.
I am definitely not raising all my sons to have this mindset... All my sons watched your video and we all agree with you.... I also felt like this book is for women that want a high income earner while she just shuts up and takes the constant neglect and abuse from the narcissist... People deserve more than a crack of your life, so great job and thoughts on this video...
Few hours later, i've listened to another ten minutes: terrific work. I find it hard to stomach, this book, this man, this 'philosophy', these freakin' games. And even this excellent expose and take-down I have to consume in episodes. Tomorrow I'll listen to the last part. Anyhow, you've got a very interesting channel going, woman. Thanks again.
The title of the book alone speaks for itself. It implies that a woman should behave like a "lady". Who decides what a lady behaves usually? Misogynists and their female flying monkeys. "You're not a lady" is their favorite put down for any woman who deviates from their narrow parameters for 'appropriate female behavior'. Then "think like a man"...God forbid that a woman thinks like a woman since women engage in faulty thinking. And then the whole book can be summed up with "Boys will be be boys. Girls you modify your expectations and behavior because boys can't be expected to hold their own selves accountable for their character and actions." This is an argument that justifies nearly all global cultural restrictions and atrocities towards women. A man shouldn't listen to a woman but somehow she's still responsible for how he behaves. People need to stop giving Steve Harvey a platform to spew his nonsense.
His diverse group of male friends are just simply extensions of his alter ego’s, which is why he paints with such a broad brush, as they really don’t matter to him.
I always felt that a better title for this book would have been "Act like a Lady, Think Like Steve Harvey" because there is clearly narcissistic confession and projection in his writing. That is why he thinks all men think as he does.
Sorry I know this is an old comment but YES. I just read this and kept thinking so much of it sounded like personal issues being justified as “being a man”. If that mindset doesn’t say it all, I don’t know what does.
I love your passion on this subject. Believe me you are saving lives! This is what is wrong with our relationships in the black community. The things SH wrote about is old, evil pimp principles from back in the day and it’s ruining our familiar and legacies. I will listen to this video at least once a week for the next 90 days! A change is going to come!!
Kim Saulsberry Your comment wins 2018! “Old, evil pimp principles!?!?!” Ruining legacies??? 👀 Oh my this might be a video..... Thank you for the support! 💕
I already learned the hard way that men play games. So now that I'm on to their act, and I think I'm asking the right questions, the more clever sharks tell you what you want to hear so they can get what they want. There is no way to find true love in your older years. They turn sour and blame you for all the things their first wife did.
I appreciate your point of view, however from my point of view I believe the book exposes things to look for as warning signs of a narcistic relationship. He is describing how to identify a man who serves his own needs VS who has lifted himself to a higher standard of morality, whether the believe in God or not. I do not see him currently identify with this information currently.. however I do see him confessing that many men of any walk before they become complete individuals, have the potiential to be this way. I do enjoy your perspective in how you are actually separating and placing the narcissist being described in this book . I believe your review would make a great forward. I do not think he's telling women to comply, I believe he is exposing the narcissist. He's saying it clearly... these are not the behavior of a mature man who is resonsible and dedicated to his family and actually loves the female he is with. He's saying do not think you can change the narcissistic. The key is UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT HIS MAKE UP IS.... meaning don't give your heart to this type of person, take your time to get to know someone. It's true... no matter how good of a person you are... if you meet a man who is in any of these stages ... they are not the one for you and are not marriage material. Unfortunately this is how some people actually are, and as much as we don't want to believe it... it's true and it's better to know than not. I wish my father told me that this is how men can be and are, until they become complete individuals. Had I known this, I wouldn't have given so much time, love, and energy in a narcistic relationship. He repeats over and over the key...until they become true men, and age does not define manhood. They don't have the mentality or guidance to think in a healthy way, and it's okay to know that there are a lot of men who have not been taught how to love themselves let alone anyone else out there. Just like there's a lot of womem who have never been taught how to love them selves let alone anyone else, who tends to find herself thinking this is love...because its not love. This may be irritating and common sense for some readers, but some of us had to learn how to identify a narc the hard way.
I totally agree with your post. I'm just stumbling upon this video and I respect her break down of understanding where Harvey was coming from pointing out his tone etc., and defending men and women however, I have strong men in my life who love me and teach me the same thing. I believe that where the lack of understanding of this book stems from women who are maybe strong enough to deal with the game or even worse, totally oblivious? However, there's many of us who fall prey and this takes us down dark holes because we didn't see the game from a mile away and therefore become extremely hurt. Many women are kidnapped, raped and other things because we don't peep game and run or face a dude and say "what the hell do you want from me?" Sometimes you have to be direct. Men are bold so we should be bold. Again, I understand and respect her profession but I believe that we should address the point of the book, which is addressing young, lost woman who are vulnerable targets. All you have to do is look around, these women are everywhere. Sometimes you need that tough talk. I'm sure that Steve Harvey has a crazy past and no one said he had to be perfect in his book. He's trying to look out.
I love this! Thank you! I knew there was something that's not right hidden with a pretty little bow on top woven into this book, but you have uncovered it. Yes, normal, decent men should be upset by being thrown into this diabolical mix of nonsense. Again, thank you for your insight on this. You didn't just say "I don't like the book," but you gave examples to support your thinking and expounded on these examples which are written in Steve's own words. God bless, and please, keep the videos coming! You and others who are exposing this spirit (because that's exactly what it is) are doing society a TREMENDOUS service!
good video. when I first read the book I was a lot younger mentally and totally missed a lot of these points. think I was brainwashed a bit. please keep the vids coming. it's nice to understand better these points esp after being aware of narcs and narc abuse. we have to cont to love ourselves enough to not entertain these losers & not be dragged back into the cycle of abuse
I have known so many good, kind and faithful men-the majority of men I have known. He is wrong! How many men have put their lives on the line for others? How offensive to men this is!
+SuperMiichii007 there are a lot of hurt people in our world that don't know how or refuse to speak and behave in an acceptable manner... I'm sorry you've had so many experiences that have shaped your opinion this way... I'm a simple man ... I treat others as I like to be treated ... I may be as faithful as my options and if that's the case I intentionally keep my options limited ... loving you
I've read that book. Glad your talking about it. I was so disturbed by reading that book and others like it. I've felt like it was a lost case in the dating seen. He's conditioning as many young guys as he can to be dysfunctional... Crazy thing is that there are a lot ladies who are lost as well... too many of them don't know how to conduct themselves in a proper manner. We have television to thank for this dysfunctional lifestyle that we're seeing...
I dragged complexities and nuances into my relationship with my narc spouse. I did not stand in the power of who I am. I complicated what was simple. I was taught complication and complexity as "God"... My narc spouse seemed to want me to do as much as me doing as much is what gave him power and allowed what was "off" between us to grow what was in alignment within us. "Our" doing so allowed that which was "off" between us to become more pronounced (our narcissistic poles). I did that (as much as he). I did not know what I am capable of as a person, a woman and within my heart. Which is me stating, I experienced "love" on my terms before I engaged in a relationship with the man I married... I did not know if I had the capacity within me (to love any other man) the way I loved him... While my heart did not believe as much, my intellect had been taught that "I" was "wrong" to love "this" man the way I naturally did... I entered my narcissistic relationship with my spouse because I needed to know once and for all Who and What "God" is... Which "God" is real (truth)? The "God" of the "Catholic" church? Old or New Testament... Or, the "God" (love) within my heart, mind, body and soul? I discovered my truth. What is yours? How has your narcissistic experience become part of your truth?
When i tell you, you are on point. My interpretation of this book was just another way for us to be beneath them and do any and everything to satisfy a man. His guidance teaches you to be a doormat and blames you for standing up to a man. He says let the man be the man. I figure if you have to let a man be a man it's his insecurity not the fault of his partner. He teaches us to bow down to keep the company of a man. I hated everything about this book he is seeking mind control.
unfortunately some older men can behave in this disgusting manner . I don't believe in the theory that they are trying to become established in life .l know of many men who still play these stupid games well in to their seventies.
Ken Richard we know that but the subject matter is the men. the source of it all once you attack the root that when things will change. women learned these games from the men.
25:00 some men, thank you. Some women play games too. A game is a competition to win. You don't want a relationship with someone who is not on your team
It’s so funny you said that, the first thing, that you believed the minute you heard of it that you felt something was wrong...I felt the same damn way. I had a few people recommend it to me and I did some research on it, it’s so very norm exacting and archaic-mysogonism enabling. I want to meet a decent human being who wants to love and be loved by another decent human being, the person who I marry has been working on themselves all their life on the basic principles of how can I better myself and help others through that growth. I’m only 21 and I know I have a lot to learn, but I believe I’m working hard to be the person I respect and love, so I know I deserve someone who’s doing it the same way I am. If they are doing it the same way, I know I’ll love them because I love myself (that sounds more arrogant than I intended).
The way he did his ex-wife was disgusting. He is a classic narcissist. I do think that many men today are so self-centered and are adult 2 year olds, wanting all their needs fulfilled without thought to what his woman needs. I am sick of it. Its time women shut these men down. Dont reward bad behavior.
You have an interesting perspective. With my knowledge of myself and my experience of narcissistic abuse, what I hear Steve saying regarding (women) do not know how men think... Is we are clueless as to how much power and position (authority) we hold in their lives when we maintain who we are in our own life first (and foremost) and secondarily in theirs when a life of integrity and honor is what we seek (claim and are ready for). In these "games" that people "play" (not only men) are people jockeying for position and power within their own lives (hearts) and the relationships "we" create from a position of equal (though different) or through acts of superiority/inferiority (dominate/submissives as the narcissistic relationship creates.... As a woman (I truly) did not know how much power, position and authority I yielded in my life (and his). Men and women "test" the waters of life in search of our own truth, who we are, what we want and what we believe we are allowed to have (experience) or not... To what degree (and how) have we earned trust and in what direction? As an "inversion" of life and love or as an "expression" of truth and Whole-ness (hol-i-ness)? It is good to question our perspective and the perspectives people (like Steve) share. Thank you for doing this!
I look at this book in a positive light. You know how you put out all these videos showing us how Narcs think? I think he did us a favor. I'd say a *Majority* of men, in their relationship with women, take on a narcissistic character. Reword him saying both rich and poor think alike to be even a pastor, billionaire or Meek looking Narc will pretty much follow same script. From the male friends I've known, they do play a game, just like the Narc, they have been socialised to do so. When they hang out with their friends. Even the good guys will tell you their friends mock them for letting their wives 'do whatever they want'. We'd be doing ourselves a favor to realize that a disturbing majority of men follow some script. Like a Narc! Especially in my country. I daresay most men even if they'll never admit it publicly, think women are beneath them. Sure they may love them, in the way a Narc loves his supply. Of course not all guys are that way. But it helps me personally to see through the game a guy TRIES to play with me then cut him loose. Just like a codependent, the men who are able to do this are able to act , write and blog about it because MOST women feel incomplete unless they have a man in their life. An engagement ring is a dream for most girls and we're surprised guys will milk this foe their benefit? It is wrong. But that's what it is. And *only* women can change it. Those guy friends you talk about, those are the fee good guys. Why else do we think men want to 'protect' their daughters. Because they KNOW what they do. A woman should be independent and be ok, just like a guy with waiting AND having fun in her life until she meets a guy that meets HER standard. Until we move past aching over romance, marriage and then WAITING to be chosen or asked first by a man, I'm sorry to say, guys will get away with this behaviour and write nonsense like this books. Get a woman, suck her dry and discard her for a fresh younger supply, JUST like a narcissist. I give every guy I meet (who's interested in me romantically) a basic NARC test and MOST of them fail. Because the entitlement they have towards a woman is exact same thing as a Narcisist feels . They don't act that way toward their friends, of course. The men i'm 'just friends' with, usually after they see they can't fool me, actually say same things and tell me I should wait to find a good guy because 'you know too much'. And how the games are easier when the women don't know what's going on. She's busy thinking "Im in looove" He, on the other hand has a list of his needs and 'love' for him is a woman who meets that. It's cold and jaring. Bottom line, Steve is right about their behaviour. Why would he demonize what he's a part of??
So a Man is wrong for having standards and for waiting for a woman to be able to fulfill all of them yet u say women should do the same?Sounds kinda narc-Ish!
Thank you for this video!!! I picked this book up a couple years ago, got 2 chapters in and Put it in the trash. I appreciate the time you took to dive into this one! Very interesting!!!
The only man in my life that's totally awesome and possibly yours is loyal, always available, always happy to see you, needs little care and likes to go on long walks and lets you talk and talk and talk about all your problems with a wag of the tail. Mine is my Husky!
I am listening to this, because of a female friend who wants to read this, and now I have to read it, so that I can see for myself what type of stuff he wrote, I'll comment again after I have read it
This all hits home more than I like to admit..I'm not sure how many times I've said the sentence life's not a game in a relationship, still hard to emotionally recover after being blind to narcissistic abuse for years a lot of people do not understand this. :( I find these theories beyond sick n have been involved with men that truthfully believe life works like that... :|
It's good to know that I am not the only one to feel this way! From the start, I was put off by the title which suggests and creates a schizophrenic mindset. It is not emotionally and psychologically healthy to think you are one gender while acting like another. Thoughts determine behavior: If you think like a woman/man you will act as such! Is this not the basis of the LGBT movement?
It is very unlikely that Steve Harvey wrote this book at all.The majority of time famous people come up with a idea or a vague concept and a "publisher" will assign a ghost writer that is already on staff to expound on that idea. This is very much the norm with all of these people writing books that can't seem to string 2 sentences together.
Oh believe you me, I woke up to what drives men like that as Steve Harvey would say because I never again want to be committed to another NARCISSIST!!! Never do I want to be in another relationship that doesn't include ME!!! I am a spirit, human being and I have a soul!!!
I do understand the content, and I heard you say some men and men like these, so I am focused. you are pointing out that these men mentally is similar or the same as narcissistic disordered person. however, His credibility as a relationship guru is suspect. when I see the title, I expected to hear about women who should think as men does, which is an abomination in itself. But the message is a good one.
Siiiiiiiiiissssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You got me having church in my office!! Preach! The minute he came out with that book I was like... Oh no!!!!!!! Boy bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is why I never get excited about things the masses are excited about... People are not critical thinkers... They like to take people at face value and nobody wants to ask questions!!! Drives me bananas when people act like sheep!!!!!!!!!
Yes it’s true what is written in the book. Women are brought up and conditioned to be like angels and men are conditioned to behave similarly, as they learn from their families and then outside world.
Although u may have a point which i dont disagree what i really think is that steve expains the type of guys most women go for and if u analyse most single women who has a picky choice chooses guys like these....so he is giving u an insight of what these Guys thinks which kinda gives us women a headstart
what you say about some men not wanting to hang around other guys is true. i've spent most of my life like this. a lot of guys just seem disgusting to me. however, it's created a lot of frustration not feeling like 'one of the guys.' i always end up feeling like an outsider even when i'm not. and watching women go after guys like that has been real torture. i wish you would review a book called 'no more mr. nice guy.' i'd like to hear your thoughts on it.
I remember seeing a Steve Harvey interview,I think on Oprah...I gave it all of 2 minutes before switching it off,jaws clenched fuming at the unbelievable misogyny and pure nonsense I was hearing.I never looked back,and now I know why.Thanks for exposing this "helpful"book for what it really helps-Narcissism and Misogyny.
Predators are ego driven and are unable or afraid of healthy attachment. The scars, or heart motivated pain, in their past is used as justification for their disregard for other people's feelings. Consideration makes them vulnerable to pain and this must be avoided because it would be a blow to their ego.
Doesn't really surprise me. Growing up in L.A. as a little girl my Mother was married to her (2nd Husband) who would FLAUNT his mistress. He would get all dressed up to go out with her right in front of my Mom& myself and I knew he wasn't going out for hamburger & soda with the guys. I met pro athletes who seemed to be so misogynists in my adult years. A lot of what you say I am not surprised.
I disagree with your statement that a man should go and pay for a prostitute if they don't have time for their girlfriend /wife etc. Mostly likely that prostitute has been abused/ and is being abused. There's nothing wrong with abstinence.
Oh I agree 100%. And I wasn't suggesting men cheat on their wives or girlfriends. I was referring to single men who act like they just can't survive without sex. They act as if they will pass away without it. If that's the case, you have alternatives that don't involve lying, manipulating, and using someone with no intentions of ever providing a reciprocal relationship. They've destroyed countless women with this approach, and left a lot of fatherless children in their wake. Of course I believe they should have enough self control to practice abstinence, but since they pretend like they can't, there are other options.
+Permission To Exist what does your approach look like? Just being upfront that you don't want a relationship right now? Go to the bar and club for finding sex partner with no attachment?
Steven Miller Great question. If I were a male deep in his building stage, I would actively avoid even the resemblance of a relationship. There'd be no way any girl could even think we're together. This would translate to a lot of sexual frustration and a lot of lonely nights, but I'd sleep comfortably knowing I wasn't intentionally or unintentionally leading some woman on. With this hyper-focus, I'd hasten my "building stage" so I can rejoin the dating and love world. My main position is that it's unfair to ASK or EXPECT someone to be neglected so you can focus on your life. That is selfish. Instead, stay single until your life is where you want it to be. For example, right now, I'm not where I would like to be in terms of what I'd offer an other half. As a result, I don't seek it out. I'm not looking right now. Once I feel better positioned, I'm going to actively pursue a romantic relationship.
100% agree. There's a video on TH-cam from documentary about it, I can't forget this woman crying about being paid £4 for sex and nobody ever gives her a hug as the only time someone touches her is when they want sex. Certain people are nice but I never admired humans as a species. #cheerfullychildFREE.
As men...we love women & have no intentions of women as slaves or look as women as inferior to us...men just want a active cohesive relationship with our women...she said the book is speaking of men playing games but what's the deference the women's strategic planning when dealing with men???
I hated this book it was a waste of money and offered no solutions and instead of talking shit about other women and what we don’t need he needs to look at what he didn’t know about his current wife and relationship smh 🤦♀️ nexxxtttt
I just observed my married male coworker go from one mistress to the next..crazy how they are. The 2nd should be fully aware that she is just another mark on his belt.
I proach the book in a learning and humble way and it has change my life and the way I interact with gentlemans. And that's the problem with most woman they over think the situations. Is my personal opinion of course.
Looks like another case of people purchasing a book that was written by another celebrity "expert". He became an expert because he is famous. Just like most Americans think someone will make a good politician because someone either learned how to play the system in order to fleece people for their money, or they just got extremely lucky at birth, or in the market. It's sad when people pay good money for a waste of ink and paper, and the "expert" takes in the profit.
The self-centered person is primarily concerned with how you can benefit them. I don't believe it's an issue of right and wrong with the narcissist BECAUSE IT'S JUST A GAME. I believe that's what Steve is really trying to make us aware of. If you don't consider the fact that it's a game, you won't protect yourself.
i feel the same way about women who sleep around before marriage. they go from guy to guy until they 'become who they're supposed to be' and then they want to get married. at that point, i don't really want to marry you anymore.
He's telling the truth. That is the way most men are today. Where do you get the idea he is saying its ok? I don't see it. the majority of women are not much different.
Actually, I agree with you. Yes, that's the truth, most men are like that, and he never says it's OK. Yes, Steve is a bit narcissist (but, who are men who aren't like that? I haven't seen any). But in his best intention, basically what he's trying telling to women is: understand the game, but don't succumb to it. Yes, he didn't have the proper wordings, and he's not perfect. But if you can 'read between the lines' of his true intentions, you still can see the kindness of it.
I could compare and contrast this video for hours. We men are naive about certain things that women would school them on.lol. There was a lot of things that I had to learn about how women think,where they come from mentally and emotionally. There is a lot I still have to learn. I've noticed what Mr. Harvey has,but I want more than those things.What further confuses me and I'm learning about is the female versions of The Mr. Harveys of this world because,trust me they exist. It can be maddening,crazy making,and saddening for me at times and here's the sh%tter on this,too: the Narcissist male or female bring out narcissistic crap out of us! Sometimes,it's very trying and tiring. You're right,it's complicated. You're heart is spot on,though.Thanks for the mirror. Keep trucking
A sad realty is the mother and father that were so influential to him are what made him. How many narc men are mamas boys or encouraged or not punished by their parents and others around them. Conspiracy of Silence.
Damaged people damage people. Hurt people hurt people. There are horrible men and women out there who will use and abuse you. They do it to feel better about themselves. But there are good men and women out there as well. Be intelligent and look for kindness.
Disgusting man, this writer...I am a female, academic professional....32 years of experience, I choose my own ways....it has to do with a person's values, personality and honesty and intelligence...
The truth is I don't know if I should be offended. Narcissism is disenfranchising to an optimism found in opportunism which is sometimes exemplified by both sex in society. Because men seek sex akin to the self aggrandizement they would have themselves believe I can see why it may seem alarming to those who have not been exposed to these sorts of mindframe; these are very basic behaviours animals on the planet have an impulse for and are familiar with. For men who are very successful at achieving results in whatever enterprise they pursue, they have had their behaviour trended amongst those admired enough to replicate them for said results and hence why this book had surfaced. I agree if you mean to say he speaks not of the soul of every man who pursues women. But he certainly described, (in my opinion) with great insight, the man in regard to his mind (at the most vulgar level) when he considers one. By the way you're a saint for this video, just so you know lol.
I read this as a young woman looking for answers and love. No wonder I spent years being lost and so very confused! I’m so grateful for clarity now! ✨
Anyone, man or woman, that claims to be waiting for God to change him or her is not taking responsibility for their thoughts words or deeds.
God only changes whom really wants to change...
GIRL!
I have to agree with this
Preach!
Woman are not blind. Were real simple you cheat your done. End of the story. No time for
Immature bs.
I wanted to understand the male perspective more, but I could immediately hear how Steve Harvey is a narcissist. I'm SO HAPPY someone else caught this! My heart breaks for his wife. Steve said something along the lines of "Because I can't protect my wife while she's deep-sea diving, she doesn't do it anymore. In fact, she doesn't do anything adventurous anymore, and she understands why." That made me so sad for her.
Mega Maggie what he doesn’t want her to have fun? Sounds like control
wow, that’s so sad! that thinking doesn’t even make sense because.. obviously!? isn’t the thrill and seeing things most people won’t the enjoyment of it too? so, she’s just a damsel in distress if he’s not around? incapable of being there for herself? maybe i’m naive or “young” but i’m honestly lost?
I've thought that same thing, many times.
I am very glad that I found your channel. I am a 61 year old woman who was an only child of an extreme narcissist and am still working out the mess. Keep you the good work. Thank you!
Ong your profile looks so young!
I've told plenty of men after a first date that think they are entitled to intercourse, to get a prostitute because I am not one. And, if I was, they couldn't afford it lol
I do the same!
LOL 😂 Classic! I love it.
@@erock4319 oh god.......
@@erock4319 and worse than that, you don't know her sexual history with STD's ect… and who wants VD or you find that they abused their kids or that someone is a rapist or has been in prison especially more than once but once is enough to me. Marriage was made for sex, not before that and if people waited to know someone before marriage except the sex just think how much better everyone's lives would have been??
Megan Mumaw that’s right stand your ground
Your video is spot on! Especially the part about the battery pack. I've read many books about women ( who are now incarcerated) who in the early stages of their marriages to their then Husband the wives have did ALL THE WORK e.g. raised the children, did the housework, went to work to earn the paycheck while the wife put their Husband through a professional school. Then when the Husband gets the degree, starts making a huge paycheck they meet a younger women & dump the Wife that stood by them in the very lean years. Happened to one woman in California. He's dead, she's in prison.
Omg I was gifted this book by my narcissist bro in law! When I read the title I remember feeling uncomfortable 😣 as if being a woman and thinking as one is so low. I never read the book. I just left it on my shelf and just last month gave it away to a book store. It was great to hear you break this down!
Confessions of a narcissist. New title.
I was a teen when I started seeing this guy literally everywhere, promoting that book. I remember him sparking my curiosity and then just giving answers that make no sense, almost (but not quite) convincing me that they're funny instead of bullsh!t. I remember having moments of: "wow, if all men really are like this, I want absolutely nothing to do with those creatures" and "like, so basically anything a woman does could be used against her?"
I also remember my mom frowning but unable to think of anything to say.
Now I Googled it as an adult to see what the heck was wrong, and found you. Thank you for helping me see exactly what I was missing!
Oh WOW...you broke that down beautifully. That reciprocity factor is true. I often tell the men that have crossed my path, they have a right to "waste"your life and the time that you are given, but I do not give you a right to waste my life and time... And I still have found myself entangled. I'm buying the book...I don't want to play the game. Thank you for your insight.
Holly Cook still single?
I just love you for this one!! God help us all.
Laurie Simmons Thank you sister..it comforts my soul when I see others in the light and see what's going on in the dark. This world is filled with demos fallen angels but just as so also many angels of Christ who come from and walk in the light. God help us all sister..Amen to that!!😘🙌
Of course it's scary -- narcissists love to scare you. Page one, he scares you, and spends the rest of the book hoovering the reader into thinking they must maintain the relationship. Classic. See? we're learning. :-)
Renee Brutvan 💕😁💕
Exactly. That was my first impression of the first page. "WOMEN! Men are taking advantage of you and using you, but I am such a good guy that I am breaking the code and telling you how to win!!!. Trust me or you will be hurt again". It is a classic fear ploy and the wrong mindset.
The book should tell you how to notice these men and RUN! Not how to play their game.
I am definitely not raising all my sons to have this mindset... All my sons watched your video and we all agree with you.... I also felt like this book is for women that want a high income earner while she just shuts up and takes the constant neglect and abuse from the narcissist... People deserve more than a crack of your life, so great job and thoughts on this video...
Few hours later, i've listened to another ten minutes: terrific work. I find it hard to stomach, this book, this man, this 'philosophy', these freakin' games. And even this excellent expose and take-down I have to consume in episodes. Tomorrow I'll listen to the last part. Anyhow, you've got a very interesting channel going, woman. Thanks again.
The title of the book alone speaks for itself. It implies that a woman should behave like a "lady". Who decides what a lady behaves usually? Misogynists and their female flying monkeys. "You're not a lady" is their favorite put down for any woman who deviates from their narrow parameters for 'appropriate female behavior'. Then "think like a man"...God forbid that a woman thinks like a woman since women engage in faulty thinking. And then the whole book can be summed up with "Boys will be be boys. Girls you modify your expectations and behavior because boys can't be expected to hold their own selves accountable for their character and actions." This is an argument that justifies nearly all global cultural restrictions and atrocities towards women. A man shouldn't listen to a woman but somehow she's still responsible for how he behaves. People need to stop giving Steve Harvey a platform to spew his nonsense.
This is beautiful. I couldn't believe the how course this book was. I love that you are calling it out
His diverse group of male friends are just simply extensions of his alter ego’s, which is why he paints with such a broad brush, as they really don’t matter to him.
I always felt that a better title for this book would have been "Act like a Lady, Think Like Steve Harvey" because there is clearly narcissistic confession and projection in his writing. That is why he thinks all men think as he does.
Chiiiiiiiiile!
Yep!
Sorry I know this is an old comment but YES. I just read this and kept thinking so much of it sounded like personal issues being justified as “being a man”. If that mindset doesn’t say it all, I don’t know what does.
I love your passion on this subject. Believe me you are saving lives! This is what is wrong with our relationships in the black community. The things SH wrote about is old, evil pimp principles from back in the day and it’s ruining our familiar and legacies. I will listen to this video at least once a week for the next 90 days! A change is going to come!!
Kim Saulsberry Your comment wins 2018! “Old, evil pimp principles!?!?!” Ruining legacies??? 👀 Oh my this might be a video.....
Thank you for the support! 💕
Black community? Trust me... narcissism knows no gender, race or religion. It can literally be found everywhere like the common cold.
You have such a great voice for radio, by the way!
I realise I'm late to this video, but that book is a malignant sociopathic covert narc playbook.
I already learned the hard way that men play games. So now that I'm on to their act, and I think I'm asking the right questions, the more clever sharks tell you what you want to hear so they can get what they want. There is no way to find true love in your older years. They turn sour and blame you for all the things their first wife did.
I appreciate your point of view, however from my point of view I believe the book exposes things to look for as warning signs of a narcistic relationship. He is describing how to identify a man who serves his own needs VS who has lifted himself to a higher standard of morality, whether the believe in God or not. I do not see him currently identify with this information currently.. however I do see him confessing that many men of any walk before they become complete individuals, have the potiential to be this way. I do enjoy your perspective in how you are actually separating and placing the narcissist being described in this book . I believe your review would make a great forward. I do not think he's telling women to comply, I believe he is exposing the narcissist. He's saying it clearly... these are not the behavior of a mature man who is resonsible and dedicated to his family and actually loves the female he is with. He's saying do not think you can change the narcissistic. The key is UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT HIS MAKE UP IS.... meaning don't give your heart to this type of person, take your time to get to know someone. It's true... no matter how good of a person you are... if you meet a man who is in any of these stages ... they are not the one for you and are not marriage material. Unfortunately this is how some people actually are, and as much as we don't want to believe it... it's true and it's better to know than not. I wish my father told me that this is how men can be and are, until they become complete individuals. Had I known this, I wouldn't have given so much time, love, and energy in a narcistic relationship. He repeats over and over the key...until they become true men, and age does not define manhood. They don't have the mentality or guidance to think in a healthy way, and it's okay to know that there are a lot of men who have not been taught how to love themselves let alone anyone else out there. Just like there's a lot of womem who have never been taught how to love them selves let alone anyone else, who tends to find herself thinking this is love...because its not love. This may be irritating and common sense for some readers, but some of us had to learn how to identify a narc the hard way.
I totally agree with your post. I'm just stumbling upon this video and I respect her break down of understanding where Harvey was coming from pointing out his tone etc., and defending men and women however, I have strong men in my life who love me and teach me the same thing. I believe that where the lack of understanding of this book stems from women who are maybe strong enough to deal with the game or even worse, totally oblivious? However, there's many of us who fall prey and this takes us down dark holes because we didn't see the game from a mile away and therefore become extremely hurt. Many women are kidnapped, raped and other things because we don't peep game and run or face a dude and say "what the hell do you want from me?" Sometimes you have to be direct. Men are bold so we should be bold. Again, I understand and respect her profession but I believe that we should address the point of the book, which is addressing young, lost woman who are vulnerable targets. All you have to do is look around, these women are everywhere. Sometimes you need that tough talk. I'm sure that Steve Harvey has a crazy past and no one said he had to be perfect in his book. He's trying to look out.
I think it's a waste of time driving yourself crazy by thinking one thing and doing another
like all his daughters aspire to be is a wife and mother.
I love this! Thank you! I knew there was something that's not right hidden with a pretty little bow on top woven into this book, but you have uncovered it. Yes, normal, decent men should be upset by being thrown into this diabolical mix of nonsense. Again, thank you for your insight on this. You didn't just say "I don't like the book," but you gave examples to support your thinking and expounded on these examples which are written in Steve's own words. God bless, and please, keep the videos coming! You and others who are exposing this spirit (because that's exactly what it is) are doing society a TREMENDOUS service!
good video. when I first read the book I was a lot younger mentally and totally missed a lot of these points. think I was brainwashed a bit. please keep the vids coming. it's nice to understand better these points esp after being aware of narcs and narc abuse. we have to cont to love ourselves enough to not entertain these losers & not be dragged back into the cycle of abuse
Love the name changeagent!
Great video! Thanks for your work in dissecting this author's words on his narcissism.
I have known so many good, kind and faithful men-the majority of men I have known. He is wrong! How many men have put their lives on the line for others? How offensive to men this is!
Such a great point!
+SuperMiichii007 there are a lot of hurt people in our world that don't know how or refuse to speak and behave in an acceptable manner... I'm sorry you've had so many experiences that have shaped your opinion this way... I'm a simple man ... I treat others as I like to be treated ... I may be as faithful as my options and if that's the case I intentionally keep my options limited ... loving you
Such A Soothing Voice...
Much Respect to you for this video.THANK YOU - you have helped in my healing . 🌺
I've read that book. Glad your talking about it. I was so disturbed by reading that book and others like it. I've felt like it was a lost case in the dating seen.
He's conditioning as many young guys as he can to be dysfunctional...
Crazy thing is that there are a lot ladies who are lost as well... too many of them don't know how to conduct themselves in a proper manner.
We have television to thank for this dysfunctional lifestyle that we're seeing...
Interesting review. I read part of the book and didn't finish it - I felt something was 'off'...
Refer him to the "Narcissists need you more than you need them" video. Then just ignore him. (lol).
I dragged complexities and nuances into my relationship with my narc spouse. I did not stand in the power of who I am. I complicated what was simple. I was taught complication and complexity as "God"... My narc spouse seemed to want me to do as much as me doing as much is what gave him power and allowed what was "off" between us to grow what was in alignment within us. "Our" doing so allowed that which was "off" between us to become more pronounced (our narcissistic poles). I did that (as much as he). I did not know what I am capable of as a person, a woman and within my heart. Which is me stating, I experienced "love" on my terms before I engaged in a relationship with the man I married... I did not know if I had the capacity within me (to love any other man) the way I loved him... While my heart did not believe as much, my intellect had been taught that "I" was "wrong" to love "this" man the way I naturally did...
I entered my narcissistic relationship with my spouse because I needed to know once and for all Who and What "God" is... Which "God" is real (truth)? The "God" of the "Catholic" church? Old or New Testament... Or, the "God" (love) within my heart, mind, body and soul? I discovered my truth. What is yours? How has your narcissistic experience become part of your truth?
When i tell you, you are on point. My interpretation of this book was just another way for us to be beneath them and do any and everything to satisfy a man. His guidance teaches you to be a doormat and blames you for standing up to a man. He says let the man be the man. I figure if you have to let a man be a man it's his insecurity not the fault of his partner. He teaches us to bow down to keep the company of a man. I hated everything about this book he is seeking mind control.
unfortunately some older men can behave in this disgusting manner . I don't believe in the theory that they are trying to become established in life .l know of many men who still play these stupid games well in to their seventies.
Ken Richard we know that but the subject matter is the men. the source of it all once you attack the root that when things will change. women learned these games from the men.
Yes, maturity has nothing to do with age or gender unfortunately.
This is brutal!
I'm with you girl!
thank you for dissecting this book...
25:00 some men, thank you. Some women play games too. A game is a competition to win. You don't want a relationship with someone who is not on your team
Choose your opponent well.
Zero comparison. We live in a man’s world. It’s mostly men that have this predatory behavior.
I Love You Sis... You Are Truly "The Queen of The Dream"
LOVE PEACE AND SOUL TRAIN
I read the first 2 chapter's, and put it down. Absolutely rediculous. This book made me nauseated. Cuss away, because I did only 2 chapters in.
So well articulated. Thank you for saving my time from buying this book
I'm so anticipating part 2!
It’s so funny you said that, the first thing, that you believed the minute you heard of it that you felt something was wrong...I felt the same damn way. I had a few people recommend it to me and I did some research on it, it’s so very norm exacting and archaic-mysogonism enabling.
I want to meet a decent human being who wants to love and be loved by another decent human being, the person who I marry has been working on themselves all their life on the basic principles of how can I better myself and help others through that growth.
I’m only 21 and I know I have a lot to learn, but I believe I’m working hard to be the person I respect and love, so I know I deserve someone who’s doing it the same way I am. If they are doing it the same way, I know I’ll love them because I love myself (that sounds more arrogant than I intended).
Awsome.
The way he did his ex-wife was disgusting. He is a classic narcissist. I do think that many men today are so self-centered and are adult 2 year olds, wanting all their needs fulfilled without thought to what his woman needs. I am sick of it. Its time women shut these men down. Dont reward bad behavior.
You have an interesting perspective. With my knowledge of myself and my experience of narcissistic abuse, what I hear Steve saying regarding (women) do not know how men think... Is we are clueless as to how much power and position (authority) we hold in their lives when we maintain who we are in our own life first (and foremost) and secondarily in theirs when a life of integrity and honor is what we seek (claim and are ready for). In these "games" that people "play" (not only men) are people jockeying for position and power within their own lives (hearts) and the relationships "we" create from a position of equal (though different) or through acts of superiority/inferiority (dominate/submissives as the narcissistic relationship creates.... As a woman (I truly) did not know how much power, position and authority I yielded in my life (and his). Men and women "test" the waters of life in search of our own truth, who we are, what we want and what we believe we are allowed to have (experience) or not... To what degree (and how) have we earned trust and in what direction? As an "inversion" of life and love or as an "expression" of truth and Whole-ness (hol-i-ness)? It is good to question our perspective and the perspectives people (like Steve) share. Thank you for doing this!
I look at this book in a positive light. You know how you put out all these videos showing us how Narcs think?
I think he did us a favor. I'd say a *Majority* of men, in their relationship with women, take on a narcissistic character.
Reword him saying both rich and poor think alike to be even a pastor, billionaire or Meek looking Narc will pretty much follow same script.
From the male friends I've known, they do play a game, just like the Narc, they have been socialised to do so. When they hang out with their friends.
Even the good guys will tell you their friends mock them for letting their wives 'do whatever they want'.
We'd be doing ourselves a favor to realize that a disturbing majority of men follow some script. Like a Narc! Especially in my country.
I daresay most men even if they'll never admit it publicly, think women are beneath them. Sure they may love them, in the way a Narc loves his supply.
Of course not all guys are that way. But it helps me personally to see through the game a guy TRIES to play with me then cut him loose.
Just like a codependent, the men who are able to do this are able to act , write and blog about it because MOST women feel incomplete unless they have a man in their life. An engagement ring is a dream for most girls and we're surprised guys will milk this foe their benefit?
It is wrong. But that's what it is. And *only* women can change it. Those guy friends you talk about, those are the fee good guys. Why else do we think men want to 'protect' their daughters. Because they KNOW what they do.
A woman should be independent and be ok, just like a guy with waiting AND having fun in her life until she meets a guy that meets HER standard.
Until we move past aching over romance, marriage and then WAITING to be chosen or asked first by a man, I'm sorry to say, guys will get away with this behaviour and write nonsense like this books.
Get a woman, suck her dry and discard her for a fresh younger supply, JUST like a narcissist.
I give every guy I meet (who's interested in me romantically) a basic NARC test and MOST of them fail. Because the entitlement they have towards a woman is exact same thing as a Narcisist feels . They don't act that way toward their friends, of course.
The men i'm 'just friends' with, usually after they see they can't fool me, actually say same things and tell me I should wait to find a good guy because 'you know too much'. And how the games are easier when the women don't know what's going on.
She's busy thinking "Im in looove" He, on the other hand has a list of his needs and 'love' for him is a woman who meets that. It's cold and jaring.
Bottom line, Steve is right about their behaviour. Why would he demonize what he's a part of??
Angel Heart I love it
You are so right..the best comment.. because most people are indeed exactly like this
So a Man is wrong for having standards and for waiting for a woman to be able to fulfill all of them yet u say women should do the same?Sounds kinda narc-Ish!
I KNEW this would be a good one, when TH-cam has interrupted the video, more than I've ever seen in Many years of using it.
We women are not stupid we know alot of men play games. We are just forgiving.
Thank you for this video!!! I picked this book up a couple years ago, got 2 chapters in and Put it in the trash. I appreciate the time you took to dive into this one! Very interesting!!!
The only man in my life that's totally awesome and possibly yours is loyal, always available, always happy to see you, needs little care and likes to go on long walks and lets you talk and talk and talk about all your problems with a wag of the tail. Mine is my Husky!
I Love your voice and energy 😍
I am listening to this, because of a female friend who wants to read this, and now I have to read it, so that I can see for myself what type of stuff he wrote, I'll comment again after I have read it
This is why I choose to be single
This all hits home more than I like to admit..I'm not sure how many times I've said the sentence life's not a game in a relationship, still hard to emotionally recover after being blind to narcissistic abuse for years a lot of people do not understand this. :( I find these theories beyond sick n have been involved with men that truthfully believe life works like that... :|
Well I think he is talking about Narcissistic Men as he is also a Narcissist
It's good to know that I am not the only one to feel this way! From the start, I was put off by the title which suggests and creates a schizophrenic mindset. It is not emotionally and psychologically healthy to think you are one gender while acting like another. Thoughts determine behavior: If you think like a woman/man you will act as such! Is this not the basis of the LGBT movement?
It is very unlikely that Steve Harvey wrote this book at all.The majority of time famous people come up with a idea or a vague concept and a "publisher" will assign a ghost writer that is already on staff to expound on that idea. This is very much the norm with all of these people writing books that can't seem to string 2 sentences together.
I wouldn't be surprised if it was a woman who wrote that book.
Honestly it depends on the man. Some men do not play these games. Yet we go unnoticed and slip through cracks
Because there's so few of you. It's sad.
Oh believe you me, I woke up to what drives men like that as Steve Harvey would say because I never again want to be committed to another NARCISSIST!!! Never do I want to be in another relationship that doesn't include ME!!! I am a spirit, human being and I have a soul!!!
This video helped me. Please comment on the rest of the book. I listened to both parts. Thank you so much for posting
I never liked Steve Harvey, honestly. He ALWAYS rubbed me the wrong way.
I do understand the content, and I heard you say some men and men like these, so I am focused. you are pointing out that these men mentally is similar or the same as narcissistic disordered person. however, His credibility as a relationship guru is suspect. when I see the title, I expected to hear about women who should think as men does, which is an abomination in itself. But the message is a good one.
Siiiiiiiiiissssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You got me having church in my office!! Preach! The minute he came out with that book I was like... Oh no!!!!!!! Boy bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is why I never get excited about things the masses are excited about... People are not critical thinkers... They like to take people at face value and nobody wants to ask questions!!! Drives me bananas when people act like sheep!!!!!!!!!
a vulgar book for vulgar people.
min bannister forreal
Well said.
I love this comment. Yes vulgar most definitely !
Yes it’s true what is written in the book. Women are brought up and conditioned to be like angels and men are conditioned to behave similarly, as they learn from their families and then outside world.
Although u may have a point which i dont disagree what i really think is that steve expains the type of guys most women go for and if u analyse most single women who has a picky choice chooses guys like these....so he is giving u an insight of what these Guys thinks which kinda gives us women a headstart
what you say about some men not wanting to hang around other guys is true. i've spent most of my life like this. a lot of guys just seem disgusting to me. however, it's created a lot of frustration not feeling like 'one of the guys.' i always end up feeling like an outsider even when i'm not. and watching women go after guys like that has been real torture. i wish you would review a book called 'no more mr. nice guy.' i'd like to hear your thoughts on it.
I remember seeing a Steve Harvey interview,I think on Oprah...I gave it all of 2 minutes before switching it off,jaws clenched fuming at the unbelievable misogyny and pure nonsense I was hearing.I never looked back,and now I know why.Thanks for exposing this "helpful"book for what it really helps-Narcissism and Misogyny.
Predators are ego driven and are unable or afraid of healthy attachment. The scars, or heart motivated pain, in their past is used as justification for their disregard for other people's feelings. Consideration makes them vulnerable to pain and this must be avoided because it would be a blow to their ego.
We are not that vindictive and mallcious. We just move on when we are not getting results. Life is short opportunities are limited.
Doesn't really surprise me. Growing up in L.A. as a little girl my Mother was married to her (2nd Husband) who would FLAUNT his mistress. He would get all dressed up to go out with her right in front of my Mom& myself and I knew he wasn't going out for hamburger & soda with the guys. I met pro athletes who seemed to be so misogynists in my adult years. A lot of what you say I am not surprised.
I'm a simple creature leave me alone 😂
I disagree with your statement that a man should go and pay for a prostitute if they don't have time for their girlfriend /wife etc. Mostly likely that prostitute has been abused/ and is being abused. There's nothing wrong with abstinence.
Oh I agree 100%. And I wasn't suggesting men cheat on their wives or girlfriends. I was referring to single men who act like they just can't survive without sex. They act as if they will pass away without it. If that's the case, you have alternatives that don't involve lying, manipulating, and using someone with no intentions of ever providing a reciprocal relationship. They've destroyed countless women with this approach, and left a lot of fatherless children in their wake. Of course I believe they should have enough self control to practice abstinence, but since they pretend like they can't, there are other options.
+Permission To Exist what does your approach look like? Just being upfront that you don't want a relationship right now? Go to the bar and club for finding sex partner with no attachment?
Steven Miller Great question. If I were a male deep in his building stage, I would actively avoid even the resemblance of a relationship. There'd be no way any girl could even think we're together. This would translate to a lot of sexual frustration and a lot of lonely nights, but I'd sleep comfortably knowing I wasn't intentionally or unintentionally leading some woman on. With this hyper-focus, I'd hasten my "building stage" so I can rejoin the dating and love world. My main position is that it's unfair to ASK or EXPECT someone to be neglected so you can focus on your life. That is selfish. Instead, stay single until your life is where you want it to be. For example, right now, I'm not where I would like to be in terms of what I'd offer an other half. As a result, I don't seek it out. I'm not looking right now. Once I feel better positioned, I'm going to actively pursue a romantic relationship.
100% agree. There's a video on TH-cam from documentary about it, I can't forget this woman crying about being paid £4 for sex and nobody ever gives her a hug as the only time someone touches her is when they want sex. Certain people are nice but I never admired humans as a species. #cheerfullychildFREE.
Permission To Exist agreed!!
I had no idea Steve Harvey was such a horrible person.
He is a narc...
As men...we love women & have no intentions of women as slaves or look as women as inferior to us...men just want a active cohesive relationship with our women...she said the book is speaking of men playing games but what's the deference the women's strategic planning when dealing with men???
Bullshit book! I fell for it in my early 20s. I wish I could like this video more than once.
I hated this book it was a waste of money and offered no solutions and instead of talking shit about other women and what we don’t need he needs to look at what he didn’t know about his current wife and relationship smh 🤦♀️ nexxxtttt
I just observed my married male coworker go from one mistress to the next..crazy how they are.
The 2nd should be fully aware that she is just another mark on his belt.
I proach the book in a learning and humble way and it has change my life and the way I interact with gentlemans. And that's the problem with most woman they over think the situations. Is my personal opinion of course.
If it's working well for you, by all means carry on. It's just been my experience that men who think this way are nightmares to deal with.
Looks like another case of people purchasing a book that was written by another celebrity "expert". He became an expert because he is famous. Just like most Americans think someone will make a good politician because someone either learned how to play the system in order to fleece people for their money, or they just got extremely lucky at birth, or in the market. It's sad when people pay good money for a waste of ink and paper, and the "expert" takes in the profit.
He is just giving us a realistic view of reality.
I'm listening to these podcasts before bed and I'm starting to feel anxious. I find all of this too interesting to turn off.
The self-centered person is primarily concerned with how you can benefit them. I don't believe it's an issue of right and wrong with the narcissist BECAUSE IT'S JUST A GAME. I believe that's what Steve is really trying to make us aware of. If you don't consider the fact that it's a game, you won't protect yourself.
i feel the same way about women who sleep around before marriage. they go from guy to guy until they 'become who they're supposed to be' and then they want to get married. at that point, i don't really want to marry you anymore.
Sounds like the antithesis to The Manipulated Man Esther Vilar.
He's telling the truth. That is the way most men are today. Where do you get the idea he is saying its ok? I don't see it. the majority of women are not much different.
Actually, I agree with you. Yes, that's the truth, most men are like that, and he never says it's OK.
Yes, Steve is a bit narcissist (but, who are men who aren't like that? I haven't seen any). But in his best intention, basically what he's trying telling to women is: understand the game, but don't succumb to it.
Yes, he didn't have the proper wordings, and he's not perfect. But if you can 'read between the lines' of his true intentions, you still can see the kindness of it.
I’m so bothered by this book I don’t even want a man
I could compare and contrast this video for hours. We men are naive about certain things that women would school them on.lol. There was a lot of things that I had to learn about how women think,where they come from mentally and emotionally. There is a lot I still have to learn. I've noticed what Mr. Harvey has,but I want more than those things.What further confuses me and I'm learning about is the female versions of The Mr. Harveys of this world because,trust me they exist. It can be maddening,crazy making,and saddening for me at times and here's the sh%tter on this,too: the Narcissist male or female bring out narcissistic crap out of us! Sometimes,it's very trying and tiring. You're right,it's complicated. You're heart is spot on,though.Thanks for the mirror. Keep trucking
I knew this would be good as soon as I reaf the title :) Classic thankyou x
Thank you. Agape
Excellent review!
A sad realty is the mother and father that were so influential to him are what made him. How many narc men are mamas boys or encouraged or not punished by their parents and others around them. Conspiracy of Silence.
Damaged people damage people. Hurt people hurt people. There are horrible men and women out there who will use and abuse you. They do it to feel better about themselves. But there are good men and women out there as well. Be intelligent and look for kindness.
Disgusting man, this writer...I am a female, academic professional....32 years of experience, I choose my own ways....it has to do with a person's values, personality and honesty and intelligence...
The truth is I don't know if I should be offended. Narcissism is disenfranchising to an optimism found in opportunism which is sometimes exemplified by both sex in society. Because men seek sex akin to the self aggrandizement they would have themselves believe I can see why it may seem alarming to those who have not been exposed to these sorts of mindframe; these are very basic behaviours animals on the planet have an impulse for and are familiar with. For men who are very successful at achieving results in whatever enterprise they pursue, they have had their behaviour trended amongst those admired enough to replicate them for said results and hence why this book had surfaced. I agree if you mean to say he speaks not of the soul of every man who pursues women. But he certainly described, (in my opinion) with great insight, the man in regard to his mind (at the most vulgar level) when he considers one. By the way you're a saint for this video, just so you know lol.
Be natural, be u and someone will like u just the way u are, period.
God help us all...my sister is beautiful and smart as hell, she unfortunately swears by this book.