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@@coletterogerskiernan6585 40 years. I don't understand that. So I'm assuming that you are in your 60s. Does he really think that there are "greener pastures out there" with someone else's ex-wife? He's spent his whole life with you. I wonder, does he envision a "swinging single life". Going into old age alone makes no sense to me. I'd rather get counseling and re-affirm that we love each other by starting anew, if possible.
I’m a professional who has helped many people navigate these rough waters over a period of 40 years. This is a great video. I think that maybe one stage that was overlooked was when the emotional affair becomes a physical one. With the couples I work with, I have found that as soon as they tell each other they are in love with one another, they will be in bed together very soon. I have seen it happen the same day!
My husband had an emotional affair 5-6 years ago. Now we are divorcing and not two weeks into separation he’s already dating. I don’t know who he is anymore but I have grieved and I am moving on now. I wouldn’t want him back even if he wanted me again. I deserve to be treated better then that.
I wish his happiness didn’t have to cost your pain and that he could see the despair he has caused, but I’m relieved for you to be getting out from under this abuse. My hope for you is a bright future filled with supportive, healthy relationships that doesn’t depend on his behavior or your control over that to manage your mood.
I think emotional affairs are tricky because you are getting something you're not getting at home and you convince yourself you love the person when you don't you are just needing something you should have communicated to your spouse or have and didn't get those needs met
That is an always the case there are people out there that have addictions which is called relationship addictions. It isn't something that they're missing from home. It's something that they missing from inside themselves that are trying to fill an empty hole.
Thank you for this video. It explains on point what I went thru with my then-husband 10 years ago (after 12 years of marriage). He left me for his "soulmate" and after 24 months she dumped him. I recognized every point, feeling and event you presented. I'm now remarried to a man who will never do to me what the ex did.
Well put. Really explains the stages easily. The easiest way to know when you've crossed a boundary is when you say or do something you wouldn't do if your partner was beside you and hearing and seeing everything you do. That is when you've gone from a friend/acquaintance into the start of an affair as you are having contact you know would make your spouse uncomfortable or unhappy but are doing it anyway and it also means you're putting this friend above your spouse whether you mean to or not. (Note this does not apply to toxic/abusive relationships for obvious reasons). Also my personal experience, as far as I've been told, didn't quite go in the same order. I think the justification and acceptance came before the realisation the she was in an affair. Justifying that it was harmless and just a bit of fun because the AP was in a different country meanwhile being completely oblivious to the fact she was already hurting me with the ways she was acting without realising it (emotionally distant, unsupportive, lacking intimacy and being overly critical and cruel towards me) which caused a feedback loop rejustifying her feelings about me as anything I tried to do was criticised and made me less wanting to connect. Also I think many of these also start because of being naive rather than malice. It starts of innocent but then the limerance factor kicks in and before they know it they are in too deep and cant work out how to get out of it.
Yes, and if you catch your spouse constantly staring at pictures on Facebook of a girl he works with you know there's a big problem. Mine likes to keep the women he's chasing as friends on Facebook.
I found out my husband was going on walk/talks with a female coworker just as friends by seeing a text from her asking for another “walk”. What makes it not ok ? He would never want me to go on a walk alone with another man. It’s a boundary. It was a secret. So sorry walk alone to save a marriage.
Another avenue the emotional affair starts is when the spouse starts confiding to other party the problems that she or he is having in their marriage, the other party will listen and lend a sympathetic ear "a shoulder to cry on" I have seen it many times
It doesn't matter what the marriage problems are nothing makes having an affair okay or the betrayed spouses fault. The marriage problems are the both spouses fault. The affair is only the cheating spouses fault. That is the decision they made.
I definitely get targeted by other guys in this area. I think I'm just being platonic but that other person turns all cray on me with left field emotions. I've learned to just not talk much anymore and definitely do not ask them anything about themselves at all!
My husband had an emotion affair and he denied it and then when presented with evidence he justified it. I was hurt and extremely angry. I found a book called "More than just friends" that helped me understand the situation we were in and after many months (and serious soul searching/praying i forgave him. We are Ok now and I think we both learned some valuable lessons. BE STRONG...STAND UP FOR YOURSELF... LEARN TO SAY YOU ARE SORRY...AND FORGIVE!!!
Recently I have been in this dire situation, but its good that Ive seen your video, now Im back into my feet And I will conquer my weakness on other married woman,my weakness on emotional affairs, Im gonna start right now, thank you
In working with people I have often encountered people being dishonest with their partner and perhaps in denial themselves as to whether or not they are in an emotional affair; or for that matter, infatuated with someone other than their partner, is to ask yourself an important question. Would you, or your partner feel genuinely happy if their “friend” finds a new love interest?? An honest answer to that question tells you all you need to know.
A coworker and myself were starting an emotional affair but thankfully we stopped it. He is married and we started chatting at work and we started to tell each other that we were attracted to each other then we started meeting after work at Starbucks or I would accompany him on after work errands. The whole time were would chat about feelings and such. We decided to stop as I felt bad and so did he about his wife and family, even though it is so hard as he works right in front of me so we see each other all the time, just not speaking anymore.
I don't know if you are Christian or not, but I think it would help if you remember that Adultery is a sin against God, not just your husband. So if you continue having an emotional affair, you are opening the door to God's judgement against you. You might get away with it with your husband, but if you pass away before you repent, God will hold you accountable for lying to your husband and breaking your vow with God. If the fear of betraying your husband isn't enough to stop you, the fear of betraying God should be enough; unless you also don't care about God too.
I personally think that if you feel like having or fall for an emotional affair it means something is lacking with your current spouse, for example, I see my wife could do that in the case I'm neglecting her and not making her feel like that other person does, maybe pretty, nice, happy, etc. There is something you crave and your marriage is not giving you, that's why one could fall for that. Never say never, it could happen to anybody.
My wife has been in an emotional affair with a man she was in a physical relationship with 30 years ago. Before us.She said she hasn't crossed that line but she won't stop seeing him says she's just friends but they have a past. She's not seeing him but they text alot .she really hurt me. Now she wants us to all be friends. In September she said she loved him. She get made when I tell her I can't do that. I do believe she's on my side of the valley
How many emotional affairs should I work through? When do you draw the line on someone as being incapable of fidelity? 4 incidents? 7 incidents? 6years? 12 years?
That's a great question @arielx4448! For specific questions like this, you may want to consider giving us a call directly. We can help guide you to the best resources that can help turn your marriage situation around and answer specific things like this. You can call us directly at 1 866 903 0990, or schedule a call directly by following this link! marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/
If a man sends a text to another woman saying,"me and my woman are having issue" what is his expectation? Why doesn't he talk to his wife about the issues? Is this an emotional affair?
Sexless marriage for over ten years and after she moved into another bedroom I bought a life like sex doll and now she’s accusing me of cheating on her
This is the best post ever. My wife said "I'm not coming home" several years ago and I replied "nobody wants you here anyway".. Oh the tears.. Such tears
One thing I have heard from women who cheat in that way, they say but my husband has to give me those nice compliments so it doesn't count. Anything that you say or do that you wouldn't do in front of your spouse is cheating. I said to my wife about the friend situation is yes your just friends until your not.
My wife came clean about her emotional affair after I caught her. But she also said she was texting flirting with other guys. Do I have the right to know who she is texting because that’s bothering me.
Are there times when the emotional admission doesn't happen? My wife is adamant that she didn't feel emotions for the guy, their affair began friend's chatting escalated from there through inappropriate chatting to physical affair. I believe she had an emotional affair but she refuses to admit it
What about people who are like brothers and sisters, Mother and son, Father and daughter kind of relationship. And these two people are not Biologically related
My husband blame me of his infidelity on doing his cheating.. He actually hides it for long months almost year half. How can he blame me of something he actually did... Im innocent and just proven him that he is guilty of it.. He shared to his coworker that we has some issues but the truth they intendedly plan things and like each other... In end involved me I'm the reason of their affair
Well, I'm not saying you are the reason for the affair, nor am I justifying his behaviour please believe I am not. because it was his choice at the end of the day, but I will say this... Affairs can develop on many different grounds from lacking something from the other spouse to that wire in the body that generally loves to have multiple people... ask yourself what is it that she is giving him that you may not be giving him if then you discover the answer you can decide whether or not your at fault... you will know if you can't discover what it is, then just know his talking out his backside
Well in that case he is the one lacking time for his family... It's because he spent more time with his co worker and there are just ladies who would always like to ruin their relationship flirting showing skin and not afraid even to involve themselves just to get what they want. He is not someone who offers time. Have you seen someone married and no text no calls not even a day to spend he just need someone to share bills with him.
Maybe focus on yourself. Been in the position on both sides and he will figure out not all glitters ! Believe me. Thankful I’m still married but 25 yrs and this going on I need to take care of me ! Forced Retirement and healing from an accident I have no choice. 👨🏻🚒
Also, he's with the woman he cheated on you with. Shame on her for being with a married man! He will do the same to her and she may one day come to you asking for forgiveness.
@@sharilyon5983 Darling… no one stills anyone. If a man or a woman leaves you… it is because things are no longer working and love and desire have ended a longtime ago.
If having an ea, either ask spouse/partner for an open relationship, talk w/your s/p about what is lacking in your relationship, or dissolve relationship w/s/p.
Hey Phillip! The best way to learn more about our workshops is to visit our web page here: marriagehelper.com/workshops/ You can also speak with our team directly by scheduling a call with them! It's free and they can give you more info on the workshop costs as well as any other resources that may be helpful to you. Schedule that call with this link! 😊 your.marriagehelper.com/meetings/marriagehelper/connect
I had an emotional affair. The connection, was based on physical touching for years and emotional tension. I like her, but we never crossed the boundary for a few reasons. I do feel like she is a soul mate, but it appears that it won't happen.
Hey Michele Brehmer, so sorry to hear you are going through this. Thank you for asking, we recommend you don't send this to your husband. It will likely come off as you trying to prove why his feelings for another woman will not last, and it can actually cause further damage to your marriage and relationship. Because of the complexity of this situation, we would strongly advise you reach out to us directly! You can call us at 1 (866) 903 0990 and be connected with one of our Client Representatives who will guide you to the best resources we have available for your situation. You can also schedule the call yourself for a time that works best for you by following this link: marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/ We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!
Is it a good idea to share this video with my husband who is in an emotional affair? Edit 1month later... It’s not a good idea to share this video with your spouse. Follow the marriage helper advice, work on yourself, use smart contact etc. I have seen positive changes in my relationship in the last month or so since really using marriage helper methods. We are going to the workshop in a couple weeks. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻♥️♥️♥️💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻
No, they don’t care. They will swear losing you and your family is worth it. That they met their soulmate,etc. trust me. Leave. Run. Never look back. The faster you go, the faster you heal. Sadly my kids and I learned this the hard way. You can’t help people who hate themselves so much they destroy their family.
What if you know it is wrong,you tell the spouse the truth,but you know that it will take time for the emotions to stop. Is it still an affair if you have been honest to the spouse and exposing your vulnerability?
If it's just feelings and no boundaries have been crossed, no inappropriate contact with the other person has been made, then it's not an affair, it's feelings. If you don't act on them, and try to figure out and fix your relationship with your spouse, you haven't done anything wrong.
You’re wrong in the third question. Where do you get that he was talking badly about her to other women? She never said anything about that and you’re placing blame on her because she recorded him etc. he’s wrong 100%. She has every right to record him if she catches him doing that against her.
Ive caught my wife texting other guys, recently she been texting a coworker telling him Handsome etc. And Told her mom and since I did she was telling me that was it that our business is ours and now she gonna be sleeping at her moms. What should I do?
Marriage counseling ASAP If your wife isn’t willing to stop texting other men immediately, make an appointment and talk to an attorney to evaluate your options.
I’m going through the same thing Gustavo. My wife has been texting someone she met last fall and has been pulling away from me and my family for almost a year. She’s been a totally different person. I just found out a few days ago she’s been talking to someone else and confronted her. I will never trust her again.
Its 2021.......lets be real life holds no guarantees, even in marriage ! hurting another person is not something I advocate, however sometimes people change and moving on to a new partner is inevitable if we are to live love and thrive as human being! sticking with dead relationships/marriages is really just flogging a dead horse.....Life is really to short to stick on life journey with the wrong person .....love peace and joy
My wife was taking snacks to a male coworker and texting him often though out the day during work. I knew about him and she would say I only say Hi. I don`t know what they talked talked about as she told me it was only small talk about things they like. Like music and food and TV shows. Is this normal?
My husband is having an emotional affair with his coworkers but he keeps denying it. He lies about little things and really flirty with them. I no longer want to confront him about it. I just want to know the real kind of man I married. I want to leave but we have a child and I'm just a housewife. Is it ok to open my door to a new relationship? I just want to find a better man before leaving him.
No, it's better to get some job skills and also start saving money. Most towns have job skill programs. If he catches you in an affair, he might use that against you in a divorce and custody issues. Be smart!
The deeper issue is how can anyone be holy and fulfilled with the fullness of God if they’re spiritual yoking with any other person. Because our fellowship is with Father and Jesus, any fellowship outside the boundaries of Jesus’ teachings will be unfulfilling and eventually harmful. From the perspective of an older woman who has been divorced for more than 20 years, it’s difficult to have church family relationships that fellowship with God together. I used to want a husband but since I’ve seen so much emotional “swinging” that it’s just safer to be alone. However, I do need to have relationships with other ministers but don’t want anything that hinders my relationship with God or anyone else’s relationship with God. There seems to be a problem everywhere I go. Many ministers in the past have thought I was the problem, but now I know it’s just opposition to holiness and godly relationships.
i face exect this with my husband from last 17 years i have five kids too some time i feel sorry for him but some time i feel alot of anger and i lose my patience
And how about an emotional affair that lasts, on and off, for over 25 years. You really can't put that be hide yourself to forgive enough to go forward in your marriage..Same woman all this time.. Don't think I could forgive that.
Hey Colleen Windsor Melnyk, so sorry to hear you are going through this. Because of the complexity of this situation, we would strongly advise you reach out to us directly! You can call us at 1 (866) 903 0990 and be connected with one of our Client Representatives who will guide you to the best resources we have available for your situation. You can also schedule the call yourself for a time that works best for you by following this link: marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/ We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!
If a person goes on with an affair with a same person other than his or her spouse,he or she might not be a chronic philanderer.He is getting some emotional and physiological companionship there from that same person years after years .that part must be missing in his marriage.his spouse may not be emptinally or physically caring , respectful or supportive.I m not defending his wrongdoing but trying to get his perspective..He may not dare a divorce due to children and many other social cultural reasons. I feel bad for the spouse but shouldn't they also take any responsibility for their triggering behaviours if there were any?
What I did was I started paying more attention to him, giving him more love, praising him more,be greatful and thankful to hom more. I worked on myself by changing my haircolour hairstyle and everything to be attractive to him. I became more pleasant and happy. You know what all of this did? It brought him from fantasy world into the reality. I pulled him out into the real deal. I couldn't lose him with four kids now young adults and 30 yrs of marriage.
Am a victim and I disagree on recording him because they deny what you tell them and makes you look crazy, this torments you psychologically, if you are married you are one and secrets should be zero tolerance, it’s not about us it’s Gods covenant🙏🏼, you don’t cheat on your spouse, you deceive yourself as blood covenant by Gods marriage is final, it’s immorality when you become habitual 🙏🏼
When your spouse denies any sort of intimacy with you; that's also breaking God's covenant. Then I get blamed for seeking intimacy from someone else because there's a void she refuses to fill which is her obligation in the marriage. Be careful how you use the scriptures. They cut both ways. Neither side is 100% innocent in most cases.
hello, is it consider as cheat if i spoke with my x partner, sending my photo and im always telling him tht we are done and im happy now with my life, he should to move on also.. however while chatting i-regular my fiance doesnt know it bcus i believe its not cheat.. i dnt enjoy chatting to this guy i feel stress with him and hate the reason i talk to him is bcus he doesnt stop to sent msh in different no,
Simple, block your ex and tell the truth to your fiance that your ex reached out and you blocked him. You are not obligated to talk to your ex if he reaches out.
Hey Aida! Our team can help you with this! Please schedule a free marriage strategy call and ask them about our workshops! They will give you all the details! You can schedule that call through this link: your.marriagehelper.com/meetings/marriagehelper/connect
His daughter linked business with her father. a boss move. Of course her hubby would feel some type of way he would feel inferior to her dad. But he about that life so where is her mom
You might want to check into this, because I am pretty certain Spouses are NOT free to violate wiretapping laws of their state, even if it is with a spouse. I would imagine this also covers going into a spouse's computer in an attempt to collect "evidence".
@@marciasloan534 I would check that. If you are eavesdropping on a private conversation between two people, you are thus a third party and I would doubt the Texas law applies to you.
My experience in life is that the majority of so-called ‘cheating’ is because a person’s Needs are not being met. The person that does the cheating always gets blamed, but I think it’s more complicated. For example, the person doing the cheating may have already discussed with their partner why they are unhappy, yet nothing ever happens. In fact, the conversations often occur many times. So, they end up between a rock and a hard place. That is, cheat or get divorced. Two rotten choices, with cheating being the lesser of the two evils. Bottom line is that cheating usually doesn’t occur within a thriving relationship, where each person’s Needs within the relationship are being met.
Most times it isn't a question about needs.Most cheaters use that as I am excuse to cover up their act.Once they are caught they use that as a defensive mode to claim they are innocent.
This happened after my divorced my fitst love found out im free he reached out the next thing i know I traveled to see him and now its been a year every day we talk almost all day when im back home . But the problem is his married
If he truly loves you ask him to divorce his wife.i am sure he won't, he just wants to both of teo worlds. And you and his wife are the one who is suffering.
No partner can ,will ,know, be the 100percent , 60 % at most , my she is having an emotional Affair, then the husband is having a physical affair who is wrong, if we have a relationship with Jesus then we have a good ground having for our spouse.
Lol my wife professed her love for god, it didnt stop her from fucking 100 guys during our marriage. They use god as a justification for their behavior.
The secrecy is the only way to know for sure with my husband. He deleted everything and I can't get past it that I will never know what he said to her. So I had to leave.
Socialising is fine. When you betray your partner is not. It's betraying as soon as you say or do something you wouldn't openly do in front of your partner with that person. If you can't make that distinction then better someone does stay single.
@@naturally_sanctified8454 loved somebody while he was married, then left his wife of 10 yrs maybe. Then broke up with the other woman who he dated. Later after few yrs remarried his wife . In the end he tried to makeup for what he did .
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My husband has just achieved a divorce from me after 40 yrs of marriage. It is so sad.
@@coletterogerskiernan6585 40 years. I don't understand that. So I'm assuming that you are in your 60s. Does he really think that there are "greener pastures out there" with someone else's ex-wife? He's spent his whole life with you. I wonder, does he envision a "swinging single life". Going into old age alone makes no sense to me. I'd rather get counseling and re-affirm that we love each other by starting anew, if possible.
You are supposed to guard your heart at all times… Once you have secrecy you have crossed boundaries.
How true
We're beyond trouble. We're done. Liars are liars, can't change anyone. Accept the grief, accept the loss, and slowly move forward.
I’m a professional who has helped many people navigate these rough waters over a period of 40 years. This is a great video. I think that maybe one stage that was overlooked was when the emotional affair becomes a physical one. With the couples I work with, I have found that as soon as they tell each other they are in love with one another, they will be in bed together very soon. I have seen it happen the same day!
My husband had an emotional affair 5-6 years ago. Now we are divorcing and not two weeks into separation he’s already dating. I don’t know who he is anymore but I have grieved and I am moving on now. I wouldn’t want him back even if he wanted me again. I deserve to be treated better then that.
I wish his happiness didn’t have to cost your pain and that he could see the despair he has caused, but I’m relieved for you to be getting out from under this abuse. My hope for you is a bright future filled with supportive, healthy relationships that doesn’t depend on his behavior or your control over that to manage your mood.
14:40 might address his situation
*than
Seriously you are correcting me after I shared a painful part of my life, shame on you.
He will regret and suffer the rest of his life
I think emotional affairs are tricky because you are getting something you're not getting at home and you convince yourself you love the person when you don't you are just needing something you should have communicated to your spouse or have and didn't get those needs met
Good points but sadly, the emotional affair is often a signal that your partner is looking for a way out.
That is an always the case there are people out there that have addictions which is called relationship addictions.
It isn't something that they're missing from home.
It's something that they missing from inside themselves that are trying to fill an empty hole.
Thank you for this video. It explains on point what I went thru with my then-husband 10 years ago (after 12 years of marriage). He left me for his "soulmate" and after 24 months she dumped him. I recognized every point, feeling and event you presented. I'm now remarried to a man who will never do to me what the ex did.
So happy for u and your new husband ♥️♥️♥️♥️
I hope Allah gives you all the happiness you deserved, and more
There's no such thing as a "soul mate". That's just a phrase of wishful thinking.
Well put. Really explains the stages easily.
The easiest way to know when you've crossed a boundary is when you say or do something you wouldn't do if your partner was beside you and hearing and seeing everything you do. That is when you've gone from a friend/acquaintance into the start of an affair as you are having contact you know would make your spouse uncomfortable or unhappy but are doing it anyway and it also means you're putting this friend above your spouse whether you mean to or not. (Note this does not apply to toxic/abusive relationships for obvious reasons).
Also my personal experience, as far as I've been told, didn't quite go in the same order. I think the justification and acceptance came before the realisation the she was in an affair. Justifying that it was harmless and just a bit of fun because the AP was in a different country meanwhile being completely oblivious to the fact she was already hurting me with the ways she was acting without realising it (emotionally distant, unsupportive, lacking intimacy and being overly critical and cruel towards me) which caused a feedback loop rejustifying her feelings about me as anything I tried to do was criticised and made me less wanting to connect.
Also I think many of these also start because of being naive rather than malice. It starts of innocent but then the limerance factor kicks in and before they know it they are in too deep and cant work out how to get out of it.
Yes, and if you catch your spouse constantly staring at pictures on Facebook of a girl he works with you know there's a big problem. Mine likes to keep the women he's chasing as friends on Facebook.
Emotionally distant, unsupportive, lacking intimacy, being overly critical and cruel towards me.
If it's toxic, should move out first, right?
@@dangad5393 This is usually what most women do to the good men. For me it's finished and I would move on with total indifference.
I found out my husband was going on walk/talks with a female coworker just as friends by seeing a text from her asking for another “walk”. What makes it not ok ? He would never want me to go on a walk alone with another man. It’s a boundary. It was a secret. So sorry walk alone to save a marriage.
What makes it not okay is if he wouldn’t want you to do the same thing he is doing. Did you ask him to stop doing this?
It's wrong for him to go on walks with another woman. So many things can happen on those walks. I speak from unfortunate experience.
Another avenue the emotional affair starts is when the spouse starts confiding to other party the problems that she or he is having in their marriage, the other party will listen and lend a sympathetic ear "a shoulder to cry on" I have seen it many times
It doesn't matter what the marriage problems are nothing makes having an affair okay or the betrayed spouses fault. The marriage problems are the both spouses fault. The affair is only the cheating spouses fault. That is the decision they made.
Even though one person cheated Nevertheless in some cases that person experienced hundreds of other type of betrayals.
@@angelacoleman6580
???
I definitely get targeted by other guys in this area.
I think I'm just being platonic but that other person turns all cray on me with left field emotions.
I've learned to just not talk much anymore and definitely do not ask them anything about themselves at all!
My husband had an emotion affair and he denied it and then when presented with evidence he justified it. I was hurt and extremely angry. I found a book called "More than just friends" that helped me understand the situation we were in and after many months (and serious soul searching/praying i forgave him. We are Ok now and I think we both learned some valuable lessons. BE STRONG...STAND UP FOR YOURSELF...
LEARN TO SAY YOU ARE SORRY...AND FORGIVE!!!
I did everything and presented graphics evidence but She never stopped and lost all feelings for me. So I had leave
The same here in front of my face and now I’m engaged I don’t know why but till this day she Denies it and I have the evidence.
@@dangad5393 same here
I’m hating the way I feel
😢
Recently I have been in this dire situation, but its good that Ive seen your video, now Im back into my feet And I will conquer my weakness on other married woman,my weakness on emotional affairs, Im gonna start right now, thank you
In working with people I have often encountered people being dishonest with their partner and perhaps in denial themselves as to whether or not they are in an emotional affair; or for that matter, infatuated with someone other than their partner, is to ask yourself an important question. Would you, or your partner feel genuinely happy if their “friend” finds a new love interest?? An honest answer to that question tells you all you need to know.
What if my stage of emotional affair is I have no emotions towards my spouse or any one else? This in truth can be very depressing and lonely.
A coworker and myself were starting an emotional affair but thankfully we stopped it. He is married and we started chatting at work and we started to tell each other that we were attracted to each other then we started meeting after work at Starbucks or I would accompany him on after work errands. The whole time were would chat about feelings and such. We decided to stop as I felt bad and so did he about his wife and family, even though it is so hard as he works right in front of me so we see each other all the time, just not speaking anymore.
I don't know if you are Christian or not, but I think it would help if you remember that Adultery is a sin against God, not just your husband. So if you continue having an emotional affair, you are opening the door to God's judgement against you. You might get away with it with your husband, but if you pass away before you repent, God will hold you accountable for lying to your husband and breaking your vow with God. If the fear of betraying your husband isn't enough to stop you, the fear of betraying God should be enough; unless you also don't care about God too.
Great choice
He is 100 percent correct emotion of a person change.
Thank you so much for this,it helps me with reasoning for MYSELF. When conversation ends so does the marriage in my situation
Thank you for your wisdom!
Crossing the boundery is the first step of infidility💣
Exactly
*boundary
RIDICULOUS. EVERY person is DIFFERENT
@@QS-si3cq
Stop policing everyone's spelling.
I personally think that if you feel like having or fall for an emotional affair it means something is lacking with your current spouse, for example, I see my wife could do that in the case I'm neglecting her and not making her feel like that other person does, maybe pretty, nice, happy, etc.
There is something you crave and your marriage is not giving you, that's why one could fall for that.
Never say never, it could happen to anybody.
So true even if someone doesn't want to say it or be honest about it it can still happen to anyone
so easy now that people can connect over social media.
My wife has been in an emotional affair with a man she was in a physical relationship with 30 years ago. Before us.She said she hasn't crossed that line but she won't stop seeing him says she's just friends but they have a past. She's not seeing him but they text alot .she really hurt me. Now she wants us to all be friends. In September she said she loved him. She get made when I tell her I can't do that. I do believe she's on my side of the valley
How many emotional affairs should I work through? When do you draw the line on someone as being incapable of fidelity? 4 incidents? 7 incidents? 6years? 12 years?
That's a great question @arielx4448! For specific questions like this, you may want to consider giving us a call directly. We can help guide you to the best resources that can help turn your marriage situation around and answer specific things like this. You can call us directly at 1 866 903 0990, or schedule a call directly by following this link! marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/
Once instant
If a man sends a text to another woman saying,"me and my woman are having issue" what is his expectation? Why doesn't he talk to his wife about the issues? Is this an emotional affair?
Sexless marriage for over ten years and after she moved into another bedroom I bought a life like sex doll and now she’s accusing me of cheating on her
This is the best post ever. My wife said "I'm not coming home" several years ago and I replied "nobody wants you here anyway".. Oh the tears.. Such tears
🤣
She probably jealous
😮
This seems like really solid, sound advice.
You're SO AMAZING....THANK YOU❤
One thing I have heard from women who cheat in that way, they say but my husband has to give me those nice compliments so it doesn't count. Anything that you say or do that you wouldn't do in front of your spouse is cheating. I said to my wife about the friend situation is yes your just friends until your not.
So I guess boundaries are not the ends of emotions. Boundaries are the beginning of respect? Am I right?
My wife came clean about her emotional affair after I caught her. But she also said she was texting flirting with other guys. Do I have the right to know who she is texting because that’s bothering me.
Are there times when the emotional admission doesn't happen? My wife is adamant that she didn't feel emotions for the guy, their affair began friend's chatting escalated from there through inappropriate chatting to physical affair. I believe she had an emotional affair but she refuses to admit it
What about people who are like brothers and sisters, Mother and son, Father and daughter kind of relationship. And these two people are not Biologically related
Could this also be applied while dating? I think it can but do boundaries as far as cutting friendships off not count because they are not married?
These are all narcissist. Go no contact and don't look back!
Going threw this now its so painful I can't wait to leave how can I trust again idk 😐
My husband blame me of his infidelity on doing his cheating.. He actually hides it for long months almost year half. How can he blame me of something he actually did... Im innocent and just proven him that he is guilty of it.. He shared to his coworker that we has some issues but the truth they intendedly plan things and like each other... In end involved me I'm the reason of their affair
Well, I'm not saying you are the reason for the affair, nor am I justifying his behaviour please believe I am not.
because it was his choice at the end of the day, but I will say this...
Affairs can develop on many different grounds from lacking something from the other spouse to that wire in the body that generally loves to have multiple people...
ask yourself what is it that she is giving him that you may not be giving him if then you discover the answer you can decide whether or not your at fault... you will know if you can't discover what it is, then just know his talking out his backside
Well in that case he is the one lacking time for his family... It's because he spent more time with his co worker and there are just ladies who would always like to ruin their relationship flirting showing skin and not afraid even to involve themselves just to get what they want. He is not someone who offers time. Have you seen someone married and no text no calls not even a day to spend he just need someone to share bills with him.
I told my husband to choose between his mistress and me he said he loved us both how in the world 🌎
I think what he says is bs. Mine told me the same thing. I still have doubts and hard time trusting him, But he's still with me so..
Why is that hard to understand?
@BBAKER22 what do you mean by that?
I do not understand how??
Yup, my husband is already crossing boundaries again
Is there any chance for a marriage where he has gone to live with the other woman and says he no longer loves you? We been married for 21 years.
Maybe focus on yourself. Been in the position on both sides and he will figure out not all glitters ! Believe me. Thankful I’m still married but 25 yrs and this going on I need to take care of me ! Forced Retirement and healing from an accident I have no choice. 👨🏻🚒
I wouldn't think so. Better to get a divorce and forget the cheater because he doesn't deserve you.
Also, he's with the woman he cheated on you with. Shame on her for being with a married man! He will do the same to her and she may one day come to you asking for forgiveness.
@@sharilyon5983 Darling… no one stills anyone. If a man or a woman leaves you… it is because things are no longer working and love and desire have ended a longtime ago.
@@evelynbalena6781 stop with these spam comments everywhere, they're annoying and pointless
If having an ea, either ask spouse/partner for an open relationship, talk w/your s/p about what is lacking in your relationship, or dissolve relationship w/s/p.
My husband just moved in with someone he hasn't seen in yrs thinking he wouldn't get involved well that only took couple of months
Mine is online with several women until 3-4 in the morning and doesn’t try hiding the times he is online
Does anyone have any idea how much these workshops cost?
Hey Phillip! The best way to learn more about our workshops is to visit our web page here:
marriagehelper.com/workshops/
You can also speak with our team directly by scheduling a call with them! It's free and they can give you more info on the workshop costs as well as any other resources that may be helpful to you. Schedule that call with this link! 😊
your.marriagehelper.com/meetings/marriagehelper/connect
Try Google
I have sensed a greater need from my significant friend to love him under all kinds of problems that rise up between us.
He tells me it shouldn’t bother me that he texts , sexts and phones them is a sign I am insecure
I had an emotional affair. The connection, was based on physical touching for years and emotional tension. I like her, but we never crossed the boundary for a few reasons. I do feel like she is a soul mate, but it appears that it won't happen.
I think my guy justifies his emotional attachment affair as “well I’m not sleeping with her .”
Do you recommend sending this podcast to my husband who has feelings for another woman
Hey Michele Brehmer, so sorry to hear you are going through this. Thank you for asking, we recommend you don't send this to your husband. It will likely come off as you trying to prove why his feelings for another woman will not last, and it can actually cause further damage to your marriage and relationship.
Because of the complexity of this situation, we would strongly advise you reach out to us directly! You can call us at 1 (866) 903 0990 and be connected with one of our Client Representatives who will guide you to the best resources we have available for your situation. You can also schedule the call yourself for a time that works best for you by following this link: marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/
We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!
Is it a good idea to share this video with my husband who is in an emotional affair?
Edit 1month later...
It’s not a good idea to share this video with your spouse. Follow the marriage helper advice, work on yourself, use smart contact etc. I have seen positive changes in my relationship in the last month or so since really using marriage helper methods.
We are going to the workshop in a couple weeks. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻♥️♥️♥️💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻
Same question on my mind
No, they don’t care. They will swear losing you and your family is worth it. That they met their soulmate,etc.
trust me. Leave. Run. Never look back. The faster you go, the faster you heal. Sadly my kids and I learned this the hard way. You can’t help people who hate themselves so much they destroy their family.
Often they either won’t listen or watch it - or say “ yeah but I didn’t do anything wrong “ etc
No leave him, cheating is cheating and it will get to another level eventually.
No, they are in the fog of Liberace. Nothing you say right now would change their mind.
I love the commonsense.
What if you know it is wrong,you tell the spouse the truth,but you know that it will take time for the emotions to stop. Is it still an affair if you have been honest to the spouse and exposing your vulnerability?
good question
If it's just feelings and no boundaries have been crossed, no inappropriate contact with the other person has been made, then it's not an affair, it's feelings. If you don't act on them, and try to figure out and fix your relationship with your spouse, you haven't done anything wrong.
Boundaries?
Exactly
You’re wrong in the third question. Where do you get that he was talking badly about her to other women? She never said anything about that and you’re placing blame on her because she recorded him etc. he’s wrong 100%. She has every right to record him if she catches him doing that against her.
I don't get how she is recording him. Is he talking to the AF partner in the same room as her.
What if u have are in a emotional affair but u not married but been in a long term relationship
Ive caught my wife texting other guys, recently she been texting a coworker telling him Handsome etc. And Told her mom and since I did she was telling me that was it that our business is ours and now she gonna be sleeping at her moms. What should I do?
Marriage counseling ASAP
If your wife isn’t willing to stop texting other men immediately, make an appointment and talk to an attorney to evaluate your options.
Quit chasing her. She moved out to have sex with other guy. Chase personal excellence instead. Get to the gym. Unleash the alpha inside you.
That shit killed my marriage. I'm divorcing now. Trust is gone. I feel like an idiot
@레몬장수 thank you
You are not an idiot! Keep moving forward and let yourself feel the pain of grief. You deserve better!
@@juliepatchouli3944 thank you, Julie. There are also women out there who passed through the same situation
I’m going through the same thing Gustavo. My wife has been texting someone she met last fall and has been pulling away from me and my family for almost a year. She’s been a totally different person. I just found out a few days ago she’s been talking to someone else and confronted her. I will never trust her again.
Any updates ?@mikefox6123
Its 2021.......lets be real life holds no guarantees, even in marriage ! hurting another person is not something I advocate, however sometimes people change and moving on to a new partner is inevitable if we are to live love and thrive as human being! sticking with dead relationships/marriages is really just flogging a dead horse.....Life is really to short to stick on life journey with the wrong person .....love peace and joy
I absolutely hate the phrase, "Life is too short." Talk about the "perfect" excuse to do whatever you want!!
My wife was taking snacks to a male coworker and texting him often though out the day during work. I knew about him and she would say I only say Hi. I don`t know what they talked talked about as she told me it was only small talk about things they like. Like music and food and TV shows. Is this normal?
My husband is having an emotional affair with his coworkers but he keeps denying it. He lies about little things and really flirty with them. I no longer want to confront him about it. I just want to know the real kind of man I married. I want to leave but we have a child and I'm just a housewife.
Is it ok to open my door to a new relationship? I just want to find a better man before leaving him.
Sounds like you already have an idea of what you want to do. It’s just a matter of you taking the first step.
No, it's better to get some job skills and also start saving money. Most towns have job skill programs. If he catches you in an affair, he might use that against you in a divorce and custody issues. Be smart!
You need to stand on your own two feet. Sounds co-dependent if you have to steppingstone from one relationship to another. Plus, you're married.
The deeper issue is how can anyone be holy and fulfilled with the fullness of God if they’re spiritual yoking with any other person. Because our fellowship is with Father and Jesus, any fellowship outside the boundaries of Jesus’ teachings will be unfulfilling and eventually harmful.
From the perspective of an older woman who has been divorced for more than 20 years, it’s difficult to have church family relationships that fellowship with God together. I used to want a husband but since I’ve seen so much emotional “swinging” that it’s just safer to be alone.
However, I do need to have relationships with other ministers but don’t want anything that hinders my relationship with God or anyone else’s relationship with God. There seems to be a problem everywhere I go. Many ministers in the past have thought I was the problem, but now I know it’s just opposition to holiness and godly relationships.
how an emotional affaire starts 2:02
Friends co workers
In laws like sisters or brothers in laws
I like what dr joe has to say but I don’t think the spouse is ever to blame for an affair.
i face exect this with my husband from last 17 years i have five kids too some time i feel sorry for him but some time i feel alot of anger and i lose my patience
And how about an emotional affair that lasts, on and off, for over 25 years. You really can't put that be hide yourself to forgive enough to go forward in your marriage..Same woman all this time.. Don't think I could forgive that.
Hey Colleen Windsor Melnyk, so sorry to hear you are going through this. Because of the complexity of this situation, we would strongly advise you reach out to us directly! You can call us at 1 (866) 903 0990 and be connected with one of our Client Representatives who will guide you to the best resources we have available for your situation. You can also schedule the call yourself for a time that works best for you by following this link: marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/
We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!
If a person goes on with an affair with a same person other than his or her spouse,he or she might not be a chronic philanderer.He is getting some emotional and physiological companionship there from that same person years after years .that part must be missing in his marriage.his spouse may not be emptinally or physically caring , respectful or supportive.I m not defending his wrongdoing but trying to get his perspective..He may not dare a divorce due to children and many other social cultural reasons.
I feel bad for the spouse but shouldn't they also take any responsibility for their triggering behaviours if there were any?
Your brilliant...exactly.
Exactly everything that ny Husband done, thank goodness ended before it went physical. And we have been get therapy
How do i provide more emotional support to my husband who is having an emotional affair with another woman?
My dear if you seriously want to recover our relationship/get ex back or a specific person.
Mr Muduguru is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he recover mine and he can also help you.
±2348119132200⏭⏭
WHAR'SAP HIM.
What I did was I started paying more attention to him, giving him more love, praising him more,be greatful and thankful to hom more. I worked on myself by changing my haircolour hairstyle and everything to be attractive to him. I became more pleasant and happy. You know what all of this did? It brought him from fantasy world into the reality. I pulled him out into the real deal. I couldn't lose him with four kids now young adults and 30 yrs of marriage.
@@saquibnaeem5999 I'm gonna do the same. Thanks
Am a victim and I disagree on recording him because they deny what you tell them and makes you look crazy, this torments you psychologically, if you are married you are one and secrets should be zero tolerance, it’s not about us it’s Gods covenant🙏🏼, you don’t cheat on your spouse, you deceive yourself as blood covenant by Gods marriage is final, it’s immorality when you become habitual 🙏🏼
When your spouse denies any sort of intimacy with you; that's also breaking God's covenant.
Then I get blamed for seeking intimacy from someone else because there's a void she refuses to fill which is her obligation in the marriage.
Be careful how you use the scriptures. They cut both ways. Neither side is 100% innocent in most cases.
hello, is it consider as cheat if i spoke with my x partner, sending my photo and im always telling him tht we are done and im happy now with my life, he should to move on also.. however while chatting i-regular my fiance doesnt know it bcus i believe its not cheat.. i dnt enjoy chatting to this guy i feel stress with him and hate the reason i talk to him is bcus he doesnt stop to sent msh in different no,
Simple, block your ex and tell the truth to your fiance that your ex reached out and you blocked him. You are not obligated to talk to your ex if he reaches out.
Sounds like a trauma bond. Heal the development trauma that is making you self betray and people please someone who makes you feel that way.
How can I have the costs for the Solo spouse workshop?
Hey Aida! Our team can help you with this! Please schedule a free marriage strategy call and ask them about our workshops! They will give you all the details! You can schedule that call through this link:
your.marriagehelper.com/meetings/marriagehelper/connect
I saw where he told the woman she was wonderful, beautiful and sexy and in the next life they will be wild together,,, how devastating for me to see
😢
I agree to this video
His daughter linked business with her father. a boss move. Of course her hubby would feel some type of way he would feel inferior to her dad. But he about that life so where is her mom
???
Only the married persons under emotional affairs
Is this based on outside perception?? Holy shit.....people are crazy!!!
Whys explain things, but they don't justify dishonorable behavior.
You might want to check into this, because I am pretty certain Spouses are NOT free to violate wiretapping laws of their state, even if it is with a spouse. I would imagine this also covers going into a spouse's computer in an attempt to collect "evidence".
In Texas only one person is required to know a recording is being made
@@marciasloan534 I would check that. If you are eavesdropping on a private conversation between two people, you are thus a third party and I would doubt the Texas law applies to you.
Some states allow computer information to support infidelity in cases of divorce.
So you are saying that you support the cheater?
Can a man love two women at the same time?
What do you guys think?
@@BigL454 I think yes.
Getting relationship advice and sharing your priblems woth another are an emotional affair. If you are hiding it, you are cheating.
My experience in life is that the majority of so-called ‘cheating’ is because a person’s Needs are not being met. The person that does the cheating always gets blamed, but I think it’s more complicated. For example, the person doing the cheating may have already discussed with their partner why they are unhappy, yet nothing ever happens. In fact, the conversations often occur many times.
So, they end up between a rock and a hard place. That is, cheat or get divorced. Two rotten choices, with cheating being the lesser of the two evils. Bottom line is that cheating usually doesn’t occur within a thriving relationship, where each person’s Needs within the relationship are being met.
Most times it isn't a question about needs.Most cheaters use that as I am excuse to cover up their act.Once they are caught they use that as a defensive mode to claim they are innocent.
Exactly!
it's called having your cake and eat it
If you are hiding it you are cheating.
This happened after my divorced my fitst love found out im free he reached out the next thing i know I traveled to see him and now its been a year every day we talk almost all day when im back home . But the problem is his married
If he truly loves you ask him to divorce his wife.i am sure he won't, he just wants to both of teo worlds. And you and his wife are the one who is suffering.
He's married so Dump him!!
My wife 100%... Now going through a divorce, by her choice.
😔
No partner can ,will ,know, be the 100percent , 60 % at most , my she is having an emotional Affair, then the husband is having a physical affair who is wrong, if we have a relationship with Jesus then we have a good ground having for our spouse.
Lol my wife professed her love for god, it didnt stop her from fucking 100 guys during our marriage. They use god as a justification for their behavior.
You're simple minded to begin with if you believe in "god ."
@@QS-si3cq
You're a poor judge.
@@jessoftherocks
That's grimly amusing as there is NO justification through God for this kind of behavior!
The secrecy is the only way to know for sure with my husband. He deleted everything and I can't get past it that I will never know what he said to her. So I had to leave.
I will stay single... when socializing is considered an affair. M arr
You didn't listen
Socialising is fine. When you betray your partner is not. It's betraying as soon as you say or do something you wouldn't openly do in front of your partner with that person.
If you can't make that distinction then better someone does stay single.
You don't know me. M
@@joynkindness no need to know you if your job seem to be the affair part!!! Probaby that is the reason why you still single.
Thats slander what you just posted.. you dont know Me. Says the person too ashamed of their real name to use it. M
This guy gives advice but let's not forget what he did
what did he do?
So?
@@naturally_sanctified8454 loved somebody while he was married, then left his wife of 10 yrs maybe. Then broke up with the other woman who he dated. Later after few yrs remarried his wife . In the end he tried to makeup for what he did .
@@jerryanddiannedennison5644 so don't take him like a ideal teacher or preacher
So he knows practically by own experience about what he is talking.
YOU SOUND LIKE PENCE AND HIS INTERACTION WITH WOMEN......
In comment section only woman getting and giving view? No man look for such situations? 😂
Breakup already.
👍👍🤓
Is having a secret sugar daddy cheating?
YES
Haha its nit emotional its physical, they just lying becauze they runbed skin on skin...behind your back...
I definitely won't be subscribing to this channel as it is not balanced.
I think women NEED emotional affairs. My wife has had them and I'm ok with it.
my intutions are indeed true!