I treated my ex-wife with the utmost kindness, understanding, and respect. She cheated on me. Then she wanted to stay married to me and see the other guy too. I divorced her as quickly as I could.
Not that different from my first- hid the fact she had been screwing around while I was deployed, played me like a damned fool til a former friend told me a couple years later! @@bogdankovalenko5096
My first wife told me she wanted an open marriage, I don't know that she ever cheated, but that alone was enough for me to tell her she needed a divorce. She's now divorced for the third time, having cheated on her next 2 husband's. I remarried 44 years ago to a sane woman and life is good.
Very true-UNTIL they have wasted years and have a couple or more kids they need a nice guy to support for them! Suddenly those nice guys they wanted nothing to do with are just what they think they deserve!@@sloanmagnum5009
After 23 years of marriage, I got fed up with disrespect and many life changing decisions about our daughter that I was simply not involved in. My daughter sit us together to ask if we both were willing to seek counseling help. Both of us agreed, my wife was tasked with finding a therapist and came back with a lawyer and divorce papers. I was kind, respectful, loving, helped a lot around the house and this is what I got.
@@Joyfullagony That would be important to me. Mother tend to be fkn toxic with no reason at all and inherit this to their brat daughters, so yea, I wanne know if she made your daughter a snake too, like so many mothers do it.
They still think men are idiots like we havent been dealing with this "rude" awakening since the "We can do it" lesbian chick posters in WW2 era They tricked women into not being good people and trusting the common protective man and 80yrs later were stil ldealing with dumb ass brainwashed little girls
Courtney, it is not "bitter" to point out the objective reality that men have been incentivized to not marry. We saw what the system did to our dads, uncles, brothers, coworkers, etc. Having basic self-preservation instincts isn't "bitter."
I resemble that remark. With my ex wife for 17 years. It ended badly as it usually does. After family tragedy she wanted to escape and move to California. That wasn’t a plan. Also, we aren’t American so it would require immigration. I told her use emigrating and me finding work and making a life for us isn’t a plan, it’s reckless. So she went on a work retreat there and what a shock, found a wealthy American getting divorced. She left me for him 2 weeks before our 17th anniversary and they are now married. Big shock. And of course all the divorce BS ensued. She claimed that I was abusive and controlling, those allegations disappeared when there was no evidence and her own story conflicted itself. I was never abusive. She also emptied the bank account, took loans and lines of credit in our joint names and racked up credit card bills so she could afford the move. I got saddled with a ton of it as I was the primary earner and the govt considered all debt joint. She defaulted and her side of the debt was written off after she left the county as she claimed she was disabled and not working. Not true. But when you’re across an international border and not planning to return they can’t get you. I am still financially struggling but far happier with my new partner. Wish my ex hadn’t turned out the way she did.
As demonstrated by Courtney herself though, its not impossible. Its just hard to find a good person. The culture is against us at the moment but things are changing and people are starting to wake up. Giving up on yourself and women is not going to make things better in the long run. For the moment it may but not so much forever. If you have no one to live for but yourself that becomes a very lonely and purposeless existence.
I agree with you. Men need to step it up. But an individual can only control him or herself. If I was a woman, looking for a lifetime partner, I would consider the differences between being a mother for a man and being a wife. It’s not a woman’s responsibility to get a man to grow up. I think men need more than ever today is better mentors.
@@jared3235 Agreed. But while it isn't their responsibility there are things women can do to encourage a man's growth. Whining and complaining like a baby doesn't encourage men to man up. It just makes the woman look like a spoiled child. A women can encourage men and call attention to their better nature. And if they learn how to be a dignified balanced women of character - that also encourages men to be better. That is what makes a woman truly beautiful. If a man sees no beauty in women, he's not going to be attracted and encouraged to man up.
I tried my best for years to save my marriage, but my wife divorced me anyway. Everything is going great for me. I am retired and have time to do all the things I had given up during 22 years of marriage. I'm dating a girl who is 15 years younger and loves having sex all the time. Meanwhile, my ex is miserable and completely lost in life. She now knows I was not to blame for all of her unhappiness. I still believe staying married is best for everyone, and wish we could have sorted things out, but it takes 2 to make it work. Women can demand and blame and divorce all they want, but be careful what you wish for.
I've been married twice. I won't do it a third time. While being with someone you truly love is something so wonderful it's hard to express with words, finding out that you've been played for a fool is equally devastating. I'm so glad I'm not a young man in today's world for so many different reasons.
That's life for some. Are you going to allow yourself to live as a victim in your mind for the rest of your life? No, don't sully your mind to such thoughts. Rise, and prevail to become great.
Life is unfair. Some are born with a silver spoon in their mouths, others into beggary. Some win the genetic lottery, others are born deformed. Some have the means to improve their lives, others do not.
I was at a wedding and the man who was officiating said “most people think marriage is a treasure chest that they are able to get whatever they need out of. While that is true, it is important to understand that the treasure chest is empty and it is the husband and the wife’s mission to constantly be adding to the chest, always putting more in than they take out. If both people commit to doing so then it will never be empty”
That's really great stuff. Because if both people treat it like the Jamestown community storehouse, taking more than they put in, then eventually both partners will be left with nothing and both blaming the other for the lack.
When you said people are not ready for marriage and aren’t educated in conflict resolution that hit the nail on the head for me. I hit a brick wall in my first marriage and didn’t know how to communicate to my wife that I needed help and she didn’t know how to communicate her own feelings and we went from a happy married couple to a miserable married couple that divorced after 4 years. I wish I knew then what I know today.
After my divorce, all of my interactions with guys who had already gone through a divorce made so much more sense and seeing how much of a hardass they were was always a question of like 'were they a hardass before the divorce or because of it???" Most likely because of it...
A woman like this....when she is "finally free to live her biggest life", suddenly gets hit with all of the slings and arrows the guy was quietly taking for years, then realizes that a bottle of wine on a beach is actually not that great....the goes and gets married again to fill the void in her soul. Maybe I'm being a little dramatic
@@blackjackjesterActually it is well spoken with literary prose. The void, the emptiness dug out from her jaws of hunger never to be satiated. What a pathetic existence. You are right, blindness is deceiving
I wish you were wrong. I try every day to fight your perspective. Self assessment. Honest reflection. Therapy. Questioning my choices. Holding myself accountable. You're completely right.
That's the whole thing on the imbalance of contributions made to the relationship. One person can be contributing more, but the other one STILL is mad because in their deluded mind, they are getting the short end of the stick, or wants and desires unmet.... And want the more giving person to give MORE..... And you can't break their delusion.
In a zero sum game one side is to blame. Only 2% of women are interested in the average man. Womwn find 80% of men ugly Women all think they are 10s. Body positivity? High body count ok?
"They believe it is a feeling." This is exactly how my 5 year long relationship ended. Those that follow their feelings and do not know how to use logic to understand their feelings and why they feel them, they will always betray you. I just wish there was someone out there that wanted to work together and support eachother, instead of selfishly wanting the relationship to be about them..
Exactly, emotions are more self centered while logic is interpreting reality, ever wonder why for the most part as men we've lead the world while women want to be lead by leaders, who interpreted everything.
When enough men join the far right, and seize power, it will be worse than a rude awakening for women. Try being Wile E Coyote when the train hits him.
@@fearthemerciful In the past 5-10 years "repeal the 19th" went from being an ironic meme comment meant to intentionally draw ire to something that garners some level of unironic agreement, even with some women. I'm not saying I personally agree or disagree with the sentiment, but the overton window has clearly shifted on the proposition, and not in the direction demanding women featured in this video wanted it to go.
Anyone who's idea of being mistreated is not "living the big life" has a sense of entitlement that is off the charts. If you want "the big life" go out to work for it yourself and see how much it takes to provide that level of income.
pretty much this. I know a woman who divorced an engineer because she was not leading the big lifestyle that she thought she was going to get. She got a rude awakening that a 30 + year old single mom with 2 kids has a very low dating value. Fast forward 20 years. her adult kids hate her because she was never around when they were growing up , she lives in a small apartment working a close to minimum wage level job. Meanwhile her ex started his own company and is a multimillionaire. He married a woman 15 years younger. So she left him and her big life that she thought she was going to lead was a nightmare since she could not finance it and then men who could had zero interest in her..
Realizing that you might not get the "big life" you dreamed about is called becoming an ADULT. For this woman to realize this in her 30s means she's had a very privileged and protected life.
@@rhadiemAbsolutely - clearly someone who has never actually had to work to provide the lifestyle she enjoys . . . . . years of 12-16 hour days that it actually takes to get to that point.
Men are literally moving to different continents to avoid women with this mentality. Not all are like this, and it's unfortunate that some women are ruining things for the decent ones here.
It's not going to change until the good women hold the bad ones accountable, and that's a long shot. So I don't expect this to change anytime soon, and I find it utterly hilarious.
@@thatguy9088it's like the pavement is scorching outside, but they refuse to put on shoes...and I can't figure out why? It's freezing in the house but they won't adjust the the thermostats.. They are driving on E but refuse to put gas in the car... 3 percent but refuse to charge her phone Tired as all get out before bed, but chugging coffee... I just don't get it. And some how so many woVen keep getting the same wrong answer
Exactly, I plan on joining that crew in 2024. Got a few loose ends to fix here in America and then I'll be golden to start my journey. Not to mention with more traditional women the cost of living is cheaper and the culture is much healthier overall
Women in different continents have their own agenda. They have several eggs in their basket and will go for the highest bidder. Statistics show that those mail order bride marriages have higher divorce rates. Men are chasing a fantasy. You will never find the right one until you become the right one. There are plenty of amazing women on your street but you don't even notice them.
I really do feel bad for the decent women as the bad apples make it difficult to find them and also many chameleons move and look like decent women until they show their true colors and ruin that man's life and have made men generally skeptical about modern, western women and would opt to go overseas where the culture,laws etc incentivize marriage and family But that said, many men have been ruined to the point of unsubscribing from life because they faced risk of imprisonment if they fell back on alimony/child support or were homeless after divorce or the pain of the betrayal and alienation from their children was too much to bear... So many won't even roll the dice in the west even with a prenup or other assurances.
When we were still together, my ex-wife had a laundry list of what she thought were a husband's responsibilities. After a few years of doing my best to meet those expectations but always falling short somehow, I asked her what a wife's responsibilities were in a marriage. She couldn't even lie and make something up. Like it was physically impossible for her to verbally commit to anything I might expect from her later. After trying to fix things for years for our kids, and her breaking up and getting back together with me repeatedly, I finally ended things for good. I was hurting the kids more by allowing her to yoyo back and forth, than by ending things. Historically it was always women that wanted marriage. IF the Great Divorce really is a thing, they're going to be the ones to regret it the most.
The statement that "historically it was always women who wanted marriage" is not specifically factual. Marriage has been a social institution with varying expectations and motivations for both men and women throughout history and across different cultures. The idea that only women have historically wanted marriage is an oversimplification.
Gender Roles: Traditional gender roles have been a part of many societies, and these roles have evolved over time. Historically, gender roles within marriage often dictated that men were responsible for providing for the family financially, while women were responsible for homemaking and child-rearing. However, these roles have changed significantly in many parts of the world over the past century, with increasing gender equality and shared responsibilities.
I will correct you my friend: the bride's father/male guardian wanted marriage the most :)). For obvious reasons. Women just want protection and support as far as I observed. In modern times, in modern places, that's provided by the govt. It is the subpar alternative, but it provides a choice where there was none 100 years before. The main reasons for men to get married was: the threat from the father/legal guardian, and the concocted system or religion (and the threat of some form of Hell). Boils down to threats :). Why a man in the last 50 years felt the need to get married, is beyond me. Probably inertia. That guilt tripping with religion. You can help your offspring even if you don't have some govt paper/sky daddy blessing with the mother. No marriage needed. And probably some delude fellows believed it means free sex. With the advent of better information we have learned that's exactly the opposite.
Yeah I was thinking during the opening rants "men are in for a rude awakening? You're right! Awaking to the fact that modern relationships suck and marriage is signing yourself up for use and abuse on a daily basis"
@@StarWindEnergin Yep, there is just no upside for men to marry. Statistically we just lose big if we end up divorced. Unless she is a crackhead prostitute that is homeless and mentally ill she will win in court. You can lose your home, half of your pension and a lot of your current salary. I was lucky with my marriages, only one was long term and at that time I was not financially stable and my house had little equity. If I was young now I would not marry and if in a state that recognized "common law" marriage I would not live with a woman.
A lot of men don't want to get married after watching a massive amount of men get destroyed in divorce. If the "Great Divorce" happens, I believe the majority of men will lose interest in marriage, maybe even relationships, altogether.
It’s already happening. The younger generations of men are wising up that many marriages lead to a spouse that cheats, checks out of the marriage, and ultimately takes half their money in the divorce proceedings. I’m not saying all marriages are doomed, as I’ve been married for 20 years, but there’s certainly a lot of people that don’t take it seriously. Many don’t understand what it takes to be committed to a long-term relationship. From what I hear. many are just checking out of the whole idea of getting married and are staying single.
@johncoviello8570 I'm fortunate that I make enough money to hire a professional. I'm not proud of hiring one, but it fills my needs with no strings attached. No ghosting, no feelings, no drama, I get hot young women and I'm treated like a king.
I completely agree that you need to be happy with yourself and being alone, before you get into a relationship. I’ve personally have noticed Narcissism is on the rise, especially in women!
women can't be alone. they aren't designed for it. a man should know how to be alone. a woman should stay in her fathers household until she's ready to marry. to say that a woman should know how to be alone is essentially the same thing as saying that a woman should know how to be a man.
I've had this happen to me personally. I was willing to work with my ex on her traumas and issues, but as soon as one of mine came up she dropped me. Women are just not willing to put in as much as men. They've been told to expect everything and tolerate nothing by the media, influencers, and their environment. The great divorce is coming, but it's not coming from the women. It's coming from the men who are not willing to date the women like this.
Completely agree. I’m divorcing my wife because she contributes nothing to the relationship. And after she cut off sex, she contributed less than nothing to the relationship. I will never get married again
This sounds terrible, but I almost don't want to date any woman who says she has "trauma" because those women almost always use that as an excuse for bad behavior. Personally, I have certainly dealt with my own "trauma," but I am mature enough to not allow it to enslave me or spill over into a relationship.
Isn't it hilarious that women think they are in control of things that they have absolutely no control over? Give it 10 years, she will be the one having the crude wakening
@@ThZuao no she looks old enough that it would only take two years for her to hit the wall but the girls in her audience need at least 10 years to realize they've been lied to and they are far less desirable now 10 years later
The reason relationship skills aren't being taught is because pointing out the ways someone is screwing up makes them extremely uncomfortable. That woman (talking about the rude awakening men are going to get) is the kind of person who goes through life believing that she's going to get what she wants, when she wants it. Telling someone "no" isn't the same as controlling them.
But hey maybe if society sold more adult diapers (for whatever gdamn reason) in committed monogamous relationships the result is the same. The problem is perceived sexual deviance but the lack of ability to develop commitment or loyalty. If the church couples and the BDSM couples divorce at the same rates then maybe we shouldn't be laying morality at the feet of one thing or the other, but understand the underpinning of communities which starts at the family which starts between a commitment of two people to join together, sick or well, diapers or latex, death do part Yada Yada Yada.
@@azmike3572 Of course of course, but, if you expand on the point further, there is an even more interesting implication: Since the adult diapers are needed for medical conditions usually related to aging, the saying might as well be interpreted as 'If society has more pensioners than babies, they are in trouble'. Which is a problem in many ways directly related to the issues discussed in the video. My point being: we are all fucked either way lol
Courtney absolutely nailing it as usual, bringing a balanced, nuanced, and honest assessment of the situation. We are in a culture filled with emotionally immature and unhealthy people with massively distorted expectations. It’s society wide, both sexes, and not taking accountability for that is causing massive social decay. Everybody wants to point the finger, nobody wants to take ownership
@@90sshuffle Sadly, @infinitedurr is correct. Victim blaming is the name of the game today. If anyone takes any accountability, they are shunned and cancelled into oblivion as the scapegoat for all of society's problems. Better to double down, triple down, etc. until the heat is off you and on to someone else. Men, especially last century, held the most prominent positions of government, corporations, religious, and charitable institutions. We know what is best for society and families, but the patriarchy threw that away for appeasement, votes, cheaper labor, more validation, and more income. Women are more likely to spend money, attend religious services, volunteer for charitable organizations, not ask for raises at work, and vote for their own interests. The patriarchy said "Yes" to women's FOMO in society and caused many of the laws, rules, norms, and precedents which have led to the massive social decay stated above. And, it will not get better until the great divorce stated in the video.
The videos by men are about how they are moving on and had enough of the games, the videos the women make are about how perfect they are and how all men are failing. Courtney did a bit of victim blaming here, more than she should of. Both sides are not equally wrong and playing it off that way only continues to provide the side who has been demonstratively more unreasonable cover. If you have a problem with men, tell us plainly, the majority will fix themselves. Never tell typical women these days they have a problem, they will seek to destroy you with a vengeance and never consider that they are anything less than perfect.
My ex looked me straight in the eye and said,"I want you to understand that you are the one responsible for the demise of the marriage. That I was 💯 at fault." I do claim 51% responsible, but boy, she is in for a rude awakening!
Once you can find a woman that appreciates all your hard work then we can talk. Was with my ex for 14 years and two kids. I paid for everything. Kept her car running , roof over her head, and food in the fridge. Cheated on me with a guy who still lives in his moms house. Good luck don’t pick a girl who demands the world because they can’t give it back that’s for sure
it really doesn't matter does it? it seems it can happen to anyone with anyone. like, many times you'll hear that women will go for a man that's better looking and has more financial resources, but there's plenty of examples of it happening in the way it happened to you. then you ask yourself what's even the point of becoming a high value man when either you'll get cheated on as a HVM, or you can participate in cheating as not a HVM.
Sure, but the most insidious part of that isn't her changing him. It's how when they do successfully change the man they're so often no longer attracted to the soft guy they turned him into. There's no outcome which makes them truly happy with him.
*When a woman says she is being "controlled by money" what she really means is he is not giving her his money that she feels entitled too.* Gender equality means no freebies for any women, regardless of how attractive she is.
A keeper is a woman that wanted to see the other movie that came out that weekend. Then after the movie, asked why we didn’t listen to General Curtis LeMay and do it when we had two hundred and they only had one or two.
The most important thing I learned from consuming social media, is that the more extreme a belief is the more likely there’s an agenda, and it’s usually a divisive one. Critical thinking is extremely important.
They can't go their own way. Every single one of them needs to live with a man, who else is going to check what the scary sound was in the middle of the night? They all need a man for security and they bloody well know it.
14 years single and couldn't be happier. Aside from intimacy, there is no role a female completes that I cannot do on my own. No one has the right to expect more from another. You didn't fall in-love based on expectations or accolades and if you did, you never experienced love. Women want to be loved, appreciated, heard, respected ect ect and those are the ONLY things that should ever be expected in a relationship. We men are not your girlfriend, we are not your mother, aunt, or sister - We are not built to fill all the roles you wish males would fill nor should we be expected too; Learn to love the differences even in conflict because without those differences you're just loving what you create and not who you found - Time will smooth out the rough edges. Most importantly ladies, please learn how to choose a man, not just a male.
Good job,Man.. I noticed that you've been forced to learn to control your biology, as most MEN have.. And it's EXTRA pathetic on women's part, considering HOW LITTLE Men need in a relationship..
14 or 15 years alone and "happy"? I call BS - might be what you tell yourself and everyone around you but you're lying. And because you're lying is likely a large reason why you're alone.
@@ccreature7086why do you assume that??? Women are at best a giant pain in the a$$. They always complain about sex not being fulfilling,about not getting enough money,or not helping around the house when he works 13 hours a day. Alone is the happiest you will be. People are not happy because they don't pay attention to what is in front of them. Yoda said it.I believe it
I've been married for 34 years. I got lucky and found a women who understood what "till death us do part" really means. We have agreed on most of the big issues in our lives that really matter and respect our differences on the small ones that, in the end, really don't matter which most people seam to focus on. When we went to the courthouse to get our marriage license we were in the waiting area and the person who issues the licenses was asking questions of the older couple just before us how many marriages they both had for the application form and the women said 5 and the man said 3. My wife and I both looked at each other and were silently thinking WTF! we both laughed about it after we left the courthouse.
I was kind, loving and supportive throughout our relationship. She came to blame me for everything wrong in her life going back to her childhood. She left convinced all would be right in her world if she were on her own. It's not, but it sure has improved my life. Women need marriage far more than men. Men, protect yourselves.
The men that "need" a rude a rude awakening have an unlimited line of foolish women lining up for them. All that woman said was she doesn't know how to pick a mate. No surprise there. Also, your happiness is not your spouses responsibility. Period.
Unfortunately, the only ones that don't seem to cheat are the ones who have a public image. I had friends who had great marriages, until they hired p.i's to track them. They were horrified.
Coming from a failed marriage of 22 years looking back, I know my faults in it. But with that said, what I've run into now dating is that 8 out of 10 women have unrealistic expectations of being financially supported from day one. I also think nobody wants to put in the work that it takes to make it work. It's all about instant gratification from both sides.
You are nothing but a pack mule to women. The faster you realize that, the better. Live for yourself and never marry again. It's a fool's game. Dogs and hobbies will always be better than women.
"why are we choosing so poorly?" There are a variety of factors I know, and this applies to both genders; - Instant gratification - Overinflated expectations - Unresolved traumas - Unwillingness to compromise - Insufficient inner work
This video actually really hit me. I’m losing my family because I was on auto pilot, stressed out from work, and generally not appreciating the amazing gift that I have in my house. Now they are gone and I see my kids two days a week, and I realize now what is truly important. I just wish I realize this a couple of years ago before it was too late. I think you’re doing a really good thing making content like this.
@user-ls4df8yq5o I know I feel pretty dammed if I do dammed if I don’t if I’m being honest. I just miss my kids. Hopefully voice acting will take off and I can work from home. I don’t know what else to do.
@@CourtneyRyan thanks - keep going, hopefully you can help change the conversation to solution based actions, instead of whatever the hell this current state of things is.
Everything is the man’s fault (sarcasm). A woman can cheat and she’d get upset that her husband looked through her phone vs taking responsibility for her actions. This will never change. I do agree with you. I was raised in Church, very traditional. My mom and dad were married for 30 years until my mom passed away with colon cancer so I have a sense of what it should look like.
Ive had a front row seat to three of my co workers divorces, 2 of them are men, one is a woman, all three of them the woman filed, all three were precipitated by the women going cold, and being shitty to the man while the men tried desperately to fix it, all three of the men lost $100k+, I fully believe that that situation is what happens 90% of these, all of my break ups were the same way, I had 6 or 7 serious and semi serious relationships, all ended with me trying to save it it and them being cold shitty and distant, its their nature
I have 2 friends currently going through divorce. For both of them the men filed and aren’t willing to try and fix things. Yet I don’t believe ALL men are shitty and cold cause it’s, “in their nature” If you believe that’s how all women are then those women are who you’ll attract.
@@deadringer333 id like to hear the full story there, were their wives cold and distant for years before they filed? Did they stop taking care of themselves health wise? Maybe they had had enough of that, idk
If you've been in half a dozen serious relationships and all of them failed, it's you. You just don't have the self-awareness to admit it. Y'all are doing something, or not doing something, for them to become cold.
@@hotpockets69 I would agree with you if I hadn't seen it happen so often. Although, I suspect what the women maybe becoming distant because he doesn't find her so physically attractive anymore. But nobody can talk about it so we hear all this nonsense.
I couldn't agree more, to have classes teaching how to have healthy relationships. Thinking about everything you mentioned today Courtney, it hits home for many people. The family used to be everything, but broken families are a big contributing factor in today's world.
@@swedishpagan2150speak for yourself. I’ve been an introvert with low confidence since middle school. I’m 33 now and looking for advice on youtube, of all things.
Not only is marriage over with, relationships themselves are on the ropes. People like simplicity and as this stuff just keeps getting more and more complex most people just won’t bother. Incubators are the future. Maybe it’s for the best.
you hit the nail on the head. After chasing career and relationships during my 20s (all which failed by the way). i was headed towards a heart attack. I told myself never again, for now on i will live in peace. Now that im in my 40s i have no regrets living a stress free life as i watch all my peers keep chasing the dream (careers, marriages, debt, etc)
@@CourtneyRyanseriously, I'm over it with women blaming men for everything. Its both men and women who suck at conflict resolution, who are just aimlessly wondering the dating world thinking its all about sex and intimacy. Ugh!!
often times it can be an ego problem. people these days can`t take constructive criticism and can be very soft and whiny. it's also important how you say things and sometimes choosing your battles wisely not nit picking at everything either. Listening well helps too. often times people don't look too or want to improve and then blame.
I agree. I'm a child of divorce, and all my adults growing up had chaotic marriages or dating lives. I noticed they behaved as if after signing, the job is done. It was a disaster. I learned from their nonsense and chose my spouse carefully. We are happy, we can go days just together in our apartment and we are never tired of each other. We share values, goals, and support each other even when we disagree with certain choices. We are happy.
Have kids and see how that relationship of yours works. Kids add a new dimension to the problem and dual income households and kids dont mix like driving and alcohol.
The biggest problem that I see with most people is that they get into a relationship or marriage without knowing what they need/want out of their partner and thinking they can change their partner to fit those needs/wants. I am someone who did this. I never dated because I was waiting for the right woman to come along. I thought I had found her, but I knew that we weren't fully compatible. I saw red flags, but hoped that I could change her. I ended up marrying her and those red flags never changed long term. I got tired of paying all the bills, doing the cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, house work, etc. I decided to get a divorce because I wasn't getting what I wanted from my wife. The difference between me and most people is that I looked back on our entire time together and analyzed everything that went wrong. I identified everything I did wrong and worked out the ways that I can be a better husband in the future. I am also at fault for my marriage not working out. People are always so quick to put the entire blame on their partner. Now, I know what I want out of a relationship and won't enter into one I know won't work. If people took a step back and looked in the mirror then relationships would in fact get better as you gain experience and work on becoming a better person.
I’ve been married 37 years. We remain happy and fulfilled but that isn’t to say we haven’t had our problems with communication and disappointments. We constantly work at improving our relationship by acknowledging our faults and allowing forgiveness and room to grow with changes in our outlooks on life as we get older. I guess if I had to boil it down to a couple main attributes it would be adaptability and commitment to each other.
You come from an era where men don't have a million hoes lined up in his dms the second she messes up. Modern social media has made relationship a constant competition.
My most serious relationship where i dated a woman who had a really toxic abusive relationship. I was the stupid Knight in Shining Armour who believed i could take care of her. But as time went on and i did take care of her and her confidence built-up, ahe cheated on me. She literally was the abused who turned into the abuser. Broke me. I have dated since but the world has gotten crazy and i just dont want to olay the game anymore.
This just highlights how toxic social media and our society has become. If these women are unhappy in their relationship, it has to be somehow because all men are bad and not just they chose poorly on an individual basis. We certainly all need to be better and should be working on improving ourselves and self-reflecting enough to learn our shortcomings and course correct when necessary. But, I' also see women playing a part in their own misery by not ever bringing any of the issues up to the partner (and not to girlfriends and/or social media) and asking for (or demanding even) what they want and giving the partner a chance to learn and improve. Seems like throw it away is too easy and first option instead of last.
A lot of us do bring up the issues we need addressed but a lot of guys just ignore us until we start screaming, which is our last resort of demands before we walk out. My husband (passed away) and last fiance ignored me when I asked for help with housechores. I can count on one hand, how many times both of them helped out and I did sit them down to request help since I was working a bunch, taking care of kids, cleaning the house, etc. Then towards the end of the relationships they became controlling. After being out of relationships, I've noticed my kids are happier, there's more money to pay bills and go on vacations, I'm safer, and I have less housechores (one less person to clean up after and my kids help more than any man). Unfortunately I've only found toxic, immature men and I've decided not to date anymore.
Agree these old mutton’s need to grow up , putting their crazy AF delusion on tik tik for younger girls and women to follow is poisoning the Feild for everyone one else . Go see a therapist.
It's important to remember that people like this 'rude awakening' woman do exist. But sometimes they get too much of the oxygen in the room. Don't forget that women like Courtney still exist.
Women like Courtney are few and far between. Besides, she's still young and hot. Give her a few more years of marriage, and especially add children to the mix. You'll probably see the she devil in her, too.
Very well balanced analysis, Courtney. Not an easy thing to do in this era when you can get cancelled just for expressing an opinion that goes against popularity. Thank you.
Have fun darlin. Men are MUCH better equipped to be alone than you are. As soon as we hit puberty, we stand alone. I've been alone for 35 years and i'd be alone another 35 before I'd deal with a toxic harpy that just wants and wants from me without giving.
"Men are MUCH better equipped to be alone..." that's not according to the statistics, I've come across including people like Jordan Peterson. Men are more exposed to loneliness and misery. If you've been alone for years, good for you, but lots of men seek a mom. Women are better at building networks. Men get bored listening to other men
When I was younger, I worked in senior care. Unfortunately, it was mostly men who lived the end of their days in misery. Everyday, I would hear many talk about the same past regrets or mistakes in their lives and some would ask for ways to end their lives, which was tough to witness. Women had more visitors and connections within the facility and participated in more activities. They were generally more accepting of their current circumstances. The men were more prone to injuries since many would hesitate to even ask for help to do daily functions. This needs to be acknowledged more. Of course there are many people in general who are ok being alone and they say it while having fully functional bodies. Humans and life are fickle. It's important to be able to cultivate your own happiness but connection with others is also important. Just from the tone of your message, it doesn't really seem like you're happy.
@@poulmadsen7969 I agree although they might not be necessarily seeking a "mom" figure, people in general seek connection or the desire to be understood. Women are more open to drawing upon the feminine and masculine qualities within themselves which allows for them to feel more complete and balanced, even moreso as they get older. They are also more open to forming deep friendships. With some men, they are more focused on trying to maintain their masculine side and that doesn't allow for balance. The relationships they try to form are rooted in that one side, which is usually to the detriment of themselves and others.
I had just ended a 7 year relationship last year. I met my ex in a very organic social setting in drop in sports. I did not keep up witht the dating scene for a long time. I get back out into the market, and I'm just utterly flabbergasted at how there's so much animosity between men and women! If you want to find a partner what will all this villanization of the other partner do to you? Whats with all the vitriol for your significant other? Thats how you keep yourself a lonely person.
At one point therapists will have to start being honest with their clients despite the risk of losing them. "Look, you have a high probability to be a narcissist, not your ex, not your mom, not the walls, not the sky... you. If it's any consolation, social media may have an influence, so ditch it for some time and let's see if you get better."
Love your honesty...thank you for understanding how unrealistic women can be, like that video you showed. In my 13 yr marriage, my fault was I thought by putting my wife through law school, raising stepchildren and our son, that we had a bright future when we had a two income household. She wouldn't get a job, but loved to say she graduated. When my business had a downturn after 9/11/01, she told me that I needed to get a second job because she needed to be a stay at home mom.....then she pushed for divorce.
Bruce just remember, women don't love you realistically, they only love you as a pack mule. Practically every woman is like this. My own mother and sisters included. Watch animal parasite videos if you want insight into female behavior.
@@nathanknight6042crass....but true. Courtney is savvy. She knows her audience, knows TH-cam, and chooses her outfits with intention. We came for the low cut sweaters, and stayed for the wisdom and life lessons.
One of the greatest signs of maturity is when someone takes accountability for a failed relationship/marriage. It's never one-sided, and growth starts when you point the finger at yourself for your shortcomings as well. If women are looking forward to the "Great Divorce," I'm looking forward to the "Great Accountability." Women also need introspection and to learn why they chose their partners poorly, and how they also failed the relationship.
It wouldn't hurt if more women, especially these "strong, independent" women, would acknowledge that men do in fact have feelings and they matter just as much as theirs.
The irony there is pointing the finger at women is the opposite of accountability. Both men & women have their shortcomings. As a common example, men who are hyper-focused on materialistic things & think their sole purpose is to go to work to pay bills end up neglecting the emotional needs of the marriage. That leads to divorce. Women who think their sole purpose is to cook & clean & look like some trophy do the same. I've actually seen comments where ppl say that once they give or get the ring, their job is finished, it's up to the other person to work to keep them faithful & happy. That is a recipe for divorce. Both parties need to work together if there is going to be any hope to fix the mess rather than expecting the other side to fix it for them.
@@justacoginthefkery Accountability: The comment highlights the importance of accountability in relationships. Pointing fingers at one gender and blaming them for issues in a marriage is counterproductive. It's essential to recognize that both men and women can contribute to both the strengths and weaknesses of a marriage. Neglecting Emotional Needs: The comment acknowledges that individuals of both genders can sometimes become overly focused on specific aspects of their roles or responsibilities in a marriage, which can lead to neglecting the emotional needs of their partner. This can be detrimental to the relationship and potentially lead to divorce. Unrealistic Expectations: The comment points out that unrealistic expectations can be a problem in marriages. When individuals believe that their role ends once they give or receive a ring and expect the other person to maintain the relationship's happiness and faithfulness on their own, it can create difficulties. Successful marriages require active efforts and contributions from both partners. Collaboration and Communication: The comment emphasizes that both parties need to work together to address issues in the relationship. Effective communication, compromise, and collaboration are crucial for resolving problems and improving the quality of the marriage.
Responsibility for a failed marriage? Lol have you seen how women divorce? They up and leave, they expect you to know why they left. They act like children.
the "living the BIG life" quote is exactly why women have initiated 80% of all divorces...too much social media B.S. too many un-realistic expectations from too many self-centered "Barbie" "Princesses" out there for my liking....but you DO make some good points in this video I admit
The "big life" that we're expected to support is unrealistic. We aren't denying anyone anything we just know if we try to make it happen all we'll get is ruined and get abandoned in the aftermath bc somehow we get blamed when we simply just had limits.
Life is made up of routine & monotony. A content person knows this. People who think we should be living in a scripted Hollywood movie are always striving & never obtaining.
Men are primarily at fault for one reason only. The control of commitment in relationships and marriage. But you can't blame the "selectors" beyond a point when a sizable amount of the selection pool is either narcissistic or flat out deluded on reality. I as a guy, selected several negative partners in my youth due to their attractiveness. Now in my 30s I know better. I'd rather be single and aware than in a commitment with someone who doesn't meet my traditional values in relationships.
Been married 18 years. And it’s had its ups and downs. Ask anyone whose had a successful marriage and they will tell you that it takes hard work and self awareness on the part of both people. Also, communication is absolutely necessary. I think a lot of problems stem from people expecting the other person to value the same things as they do without explicitly communicating what those values are.
I swear, 50% of the serious discussions I've had with my wife on the first 4 years of marriage were "when you want me to do something specific, you need to be specific about what you want me to do"
This may not be a popular comment, but you have to address this is an American problem/Western problem….Asian/middle eastern/Indian /South American people do not have this problem….I think religion and culture plays a massive role
I think a lot of the population lacks the mental capacity for truthful and honest reflection. You're completely right that the partner you choose is a reflection of oneself, but most will never be able to take a step back and look at it from a birds eye.
Absolutely. A woman talking on TikTok about her experiences with Chad doesn't paint the whole picture and that's where we'll continue to be until it's continuously called out.
My parents divorced and I'm terrified of it happening to me. Probably one of the reasons I've never even been in a relationship. And I think I definitely have a lot in my life that could be improved so it's made me hesitant to start even moving that direction.
Same here, and guess what - I got divorced. I truly believe that some of it, on my side of the whole thing, was a self-fulfilling prophecy. I expected it to go bad, and so I behaved in ways that helped that worry become a reality.
Don’t waste your time with a woman who doesn’t listen to what you have to say and makes it difficult for you to voice your position. Stay away or get her out of your life ASAP. Also, this may sound ridiculous but if you have any questions about her history then get a private investigator and have her checked out. You don’t want to be stuck with a compulsive liar like I was. It was too late for me when I learned about a few “details” of my ex’s life.
My impression is that people prioritize chemistry, fun, and lifestyle over relationship skills. I think we would have better outcomes if we tried to find someone we can get along with on a day to day basis (and think of all the other things as bonuses)
Yep it's terrible not having a modern day western woman in my life. Own two bedroom Apartment Own salary Own military pension Own investments ( stocks and shares) Own car Own free time Own Holiday day Choice No debt No Nagging No dramas When I get up in the morning the only person I need to impress is me myself and I. Yep looks like that rude awakening is looking bad for me. Mrs Courtney Ryan says Men are the problem while 70 to 80 percent of Women file for Divorce and it cash and prizes for the woman while she sits with that size engagement ring ( and would Mrs Courtney Ryan not use them same divorce laws on her Man if she wanted too ? )
I’m Gen Z, I’m not married and have been single my entire adult life. Not gonna lie, everyday I ask myself if it’s even worth being in a relationship. The women my age expect too much and want some sort of prince charming. It also doesn’t help I’m financially struggling and don’t really have any real stability. I really do feel like i have entire society against me, I feel pretty vilified in almost every single way. The whole system doesn’t want guys like me to succeed or to be happy. I honestly just want to leave the USA 🇺🇸 and go somewhere else.
As a man the worst thing you can do is put your focus more on women than on yourself. Hit the gym, get your money up, and increase your knowledge and hobbies.
A lot of this video reminded me of things I don't miss about my ex fiancee. I tried my best to deal with her situation as she was a single mom that had been divorced; although it seemed like she made a lot of those decisions on autopilot. A lot of our arguments stemmed from life choices she had made that were now somehow my responsibility to fix and I quickly realized she was in the boat she was in because of her lack of emotional intelligence to handle a marriage/kid. I've been focusing on working on myself this past year and will continue to do so as I have been much happier with the realization that I can create my own reality and it doesn't have to be what everyone else is doing ❤.
@eriktrusdell8664 You dodged a bullet. I'm sorry it sounds callous, but I dated a single mother for a time, and You described my time with my ex so well. Like Your ex, my ex was never satisfied with anything I did. She was always demanding. I was reliable, and emotionally, very supportive. But she refused to take any ownership of her past life choices. And refused to make any changes all while expecting me to sacrifice everything for her. I'm glad You got out of that terrible situation. It was an enormous when I walked away from her almost a year ago. The demands most women make on men are insane, and impossible. My best regards to You on Your healing Journey.
When you see the videos of women who regret divorcing good husbands, I think some of these women are in for a rude awaking themselves. Remember, most men don't need women in order to enjoy their free time; it's just nice to have someone around to share it with.
I'm the typical "nice guy" that almost always gets taken advantage of, and when I get tired of it after discussing my feelings with them, I split. I seem to get the most respect from women when I'm a bit of a jerk, and that's just not who I want to be. I don't think there are many women out there who knows how to appreciate the "nice guy". Too many women are self-absorbed and narcissistic and frankly they're just too much trouble to bother. I was married for 12 years...she never cooked, cleaned, or was romantic in the bedroom. After 12 years, I was done with doing everything. I have a hard time in believing there are women out there worthy of marriage. Like fishing, so few keepers, too many you have to throw back. Good luck to us all!
I have heard of this nice guy problem. But after a take a deep breath, I think: what am I supposed to do? Be a mean guy? I think a man should simply act like a gentleman all the time. If a woman didn't like me because I was too nice, I would walk away.
Hi Courtney ... I am a married man for 37 years to the same woman ... your comments about about understanding commitment and working out differences during the different storms that life hands you. both of us ( meaning myself and my wife) bring different perspectives to everything we face. There will be tough times and good times but ultimately we are better together rather then apart. there is no magic formula for success but without commitment your chances for failure increases dramatically.
Five times for me, I RAN AWAY from marriage. Screw that, life is too short to deal with someone who will learn to loathe you and can exact punishment on you for her flaws.
I will not accept people into my life who don't treat me how they would like to be treated, and that has elminated most people. No one-sided relationships, never.
I knew enough to know that marriage is a no win situation for 99% of people. I have had to just come to the reality that I will leave this world unloved , alone and forgotten. Its nearly impossible to meet anyone these days . To much outside influence of relationships from both sides. My last two long relationships ended basically the same way....I am just done. You can only have your heart squashed so many times...
The vast majority of people will die alone and will be forgotten. Even if you have a wife and kids there is no guarantee that they will love you. You are the one that is responsible for loving you. You are the one responsible for living the life that makes you happy. Once you are happy, your happiness will spread to others. Loneliness is just a holding cell waiting for you to open the door to your solitude. You are responsible for finding your solitude. Find solitude in your loneliness. Today is a good day to invest in yourself, to re-invent your life. Do something good just to do something good and don't tell anyone about it. Enjoy!
“I heard that pictures don’t change, just the people inside of them do, whoever told you that life would be easy, I promise that person was lying to you,” - NF. These lyrics come to mind here, especially when it comes to choosing who you want to marry.
I have never been in a romantic relationship with someone, but I will say that the "give and take" phenomena as to why people separate applies to all relationships in life. As of recent, I have recognized that for the past few years I frequently "go the extra mile" for my "friends" who hardly ever go out of there way for me unless they are expecting something in return. It has been very frustrating to deal with these people, but since I have started to make some drastic personal changes in an attempt to raise my self esteem, I realize that these people are not needed in my life, and that I do not need to please others to be happy with myself. It is hard to "cut off" some people who you have been friendly with for so long, but once you stop reaching out to them for a while and realize that they never reach out to you other than to ask for a favor, you recognize who truly cares about you. Bottom line is this: if you are not willing to reciprocate the time and energy somebody gives you, do not expect them to keep giving you the same time and energy. I think this is a major reason why divorce rates are so high. Both parties are to blame.
Yeah, I cut "friends" like that with no remorse, and if anyone else asks I tell them why, still in a happy mood and with a little smile, just to keep the vibe positive and for the fact I feel better without "friends". I love my friends though! It's only been a small handful over many years though, because I'd like to be a good friend. :D
get injured and are dependent on others, and you find out your real community, village, family, friends, wife. A wife who stands by her vows, is a treasure.
I believe your main point of we as a people are unprepared in what it means to be married and the level of commitment requires for it is spot on. Your commentary on being accountable to yourself and your choices is very spot on. There are some cases where it is very one sided for both men and women but a lot of times it’s both people in the relationship failing to bring their 100% to the relationship (people mistakenly think it’s a 50/50 when it’s supposed to be 100/100).
My parents said that in marriage, each partner needs to give 110% and expect 50%. You will rarely be disappointed with that attitude. Marriage is a lot of work and expectations need to be realistic. You can't expect circus thrills every day.
It would be awfully nice to meet a young western woman with sane expectations, who isn't acting like she's some kind of Empress that all men should be grateful just to be around. My previous long-term partner was a lovely person with her own drives and qualities. Dating in this era would be hell. I'm so glad to have been born in the 70's and I have no intention of looking for love again. If it comes without an entitled brat demanding I change everything about my life and beliefs for her, I'll accept it with skepticism.
Courtney, you have some of the best videos and guidance. I’m middle aged, been with the same woman for about 15 years, unmarried. Honestly, I think it says more when people stay together because they want to and not because “a piece of paper” is forcing them to stay. I believe social interactions, relationships, commitments are having so many problems today because people believe they are more “special” than the next. If people “give” more than “take” I think most relationships would thrive. However, there are always twists and turns in life and people need to expect imperfect times, but hopefully together a couple can tackle them together without blame. I think this would go a long way for society in general, nonetheless a relationship. Cheers!
Hate to break it to you. The Government thinks you are in a common law marriage so it does not matter if you have that piece of paper or not. If you break up, you will have to deal with the same BS every other married couple deals with.
Marriage isn't that important for people without children but it's a safety net for one's with children that's mainly why people get married if you're older with an older partner and don't have kids it makes more sense to not get married so this really doesn't apply to you
I remember growing up in a society that nobody wanted to be pitied yet now we are in a society where everybody wants to be pitied more than the person they were pitying yesterday. We have a work for that and it's called pitiful so why would anybody want to be labeled as pitiful, willingly?
I agree with your line of reasoning. I think the problem with our generation (Millennials) and younger is we've been taught one of two things. One is we've been taught that relationships are like Disney-level fairy tales, with little to no adversity and happiness, butterflies and glowing sunshine. Two is a lot of us have divorced parents (myself included) which either means we've only seen the crappy, potentially abusive side of marriage, or if things get tough, it's better to just split and call it good. So you have a dichotomy of two extremes. Either marriage is a wonderful, sing-songy epic romance with happy forest creatures and orchestrated music, or it's a miserable, sad, drawn out process with lots of tears and heartache in a house devoid of happiness. In reality, it seems the ideal marriages manage to stay in the middle, like a well-maintained nuclear reactor. They're not bombastic dopamine rushes like the Disney movie, but they aren't sad, lonesome, miserable experiences where two people are just glorified roommates. Seems to me a good marriage seems pretty plain at times, but a place of safety and reliability, where spouses make consistent efforts to surprise and uplift each other.
Anyone who makes major life decisions based on the Barbie movie, deserves what's coming to them...
That’s a very astute point. It’s not good to make life decisions based on a silly movie. Nuance is called for here.
Bingo
Can you believe that there are people that obtuse who make decisions based around that? It's wild and sad.
Wahmen demand "The BIG Life"... well the average wahman weighs 175 pounds so I think they already are ....
These women divorcing men over the Barbie movie are ruining their husbands life. For cash and prizes
I treated my ex-wife with the utmost kindness, understanding, and respect. She cheated on me. Then she wanted to stay married to me and see the other guy too. I divorced her as quickly as I could.
omg what a sick creature
Not that different from my first- hid the fact she had been screwing around while I was deployed, played me like a damned fool til a former friend told me a couple years later! @@bogdankovalenko5096
My first wife told me she wanted an open marriage, I don't know that she ever cheated, but that alone was enough for me to tell her she needed a divorce. She's now divorced for the third time, having cheated on her next 2 husband's. I remarried 44 years ago to a sane woman and life is good.
Women don't like the nice guy
Very true-UNTIL they have wasted years and have a couple or more kids they need a nice guy to support for them! Suddenly those nice guys they wanted nothing to do with are just what they think they deserve!@@sloanmagnum5009
Good rule of thumb- if a woman is highly active on TikTok, then that's a huge red flag. Nothing good comes from TikTok.
Tik tok brain rot is sooo real.
Any form of tiktok activity is
Also: Instagram, Snapchat, Tinder, Bumble.
Any social media.
nailed it!!!
After 23 years of marriage, I got fed up with disrespect and many life changing decisions about our daughter that I was simply not involved in. My daughter sit us together to ask if we both were willing to seek counseling help. Both of us agreed, my wife was tasked with finding a therapist and came back with a lawyer and divorce papers. I was kind, respectful, loving, helped a lot around the house and this is what I got.
Freedom ain’t free but it’s worth it in the long term.
@@Janthony1977amen, brother.
Sounds like you married a real winner.
How did your daughter react considering she was under the impression that your wife was on board? Genuinely curious, no pressure.
@@Joyfullagony That would be important to me. Mother tend to be fkn toxic with no reason at all and inherit this to their brat daughters, so yea, I wanne know if she made your daughter a snake too, like so many mothers do it.
I think we already had our "rude awakening" and we are adjusting to it this very moment.
MeToo saw to that
Ditto. The more interaction I have with women I find they are more and more un-likable. I don’t hate women. I just steer clear of them.
They still think men are idiots like we havent been dealing with this "rude" awakening since the "We can do it" lesbian chick posters in WW2 era
They tricked women into not being good people and trusting the common protective man and 80yrs later were stil ldealing with dumb ass brainwashed little girls
💯
Smart people are in for a rude awakening. Dumb people are not. I think this summarizes the original video and the commentary pretty well.
Courtney, it is not "bitter" to point out the objective reality that men have been incentivized to not marry. We saw what the system did to our dads, uncles, brothers, coworkers, etc. Having basic self-preservation instincts isn't "bitter."
I resemble that remark. With my ex wife for 17 years. It ended badly as it usually does. After family tragedy she wanted to escape and move to California. That wasn’t a plan. Also, we aren’t American so it would require immigration. I told her use emigrating and me finding work and making a life for us isn’t a plan, it’s reckless. So she went on a work retreat there and what a shock, found a wealthy American getting divorced. She left me for him 2 weeks before our 17th anniversary and they are now married. Big shock. And of course all the divorce BS ensued. She claimed that I was abusive and controlling, those allegations disappeared when there was no evidence and her own story conflicted itself. I was never abusive. She also emptied the bank account, took loans and lines of credit in our joint names and racked up credit card bills so she could afford the move. I got saddled with a ton of it as I was the primary earner and the govt considered all debt joint. She defaulted and her side of the debt was written off after she left the county as she claimed she was disabled and not working. Not true. But when you’re across an international border and not planning to return they can’t get you. I am still financially struggling but far happier with my new partner. Wish my ex hadn’t turned out the way she did.
@@elrobbio1
But, of course, Courtney will just call you bitter for pointing out these systemic flaws.
As demonstrated by Courtney herself though, its not impossible. Its just hard to find a good person. The culture is against us at the moment but things are changing and people are starting to wake up. Giving up on yourself and women is not going to make things better in the long run. For the moment it may but not so much forever. If you have no one to live for but yourself that becomes a very lonely and purposeless existence.
I agree with you. Men need to step it up.
But an individual can only control him or herself. If I was a woman, looking for a lifetime partner, I would consider the differences between being a mother for a man and being a wife.
It’s not a woman’s responsibility to get a man to grow up.
I think men need more than ever today is better mentors.
@@jared3235 Agreed. But while it isn't their responsibility there are things women can do to encourage a man's growth. Whining and complaining like a baby doesn't encourage men to man up. It just makes the woman look like a spoiled child. A women can encourage men and call attention to their better nature. And if they learn how to be a dignified balanced women of character - that also encourages men to be better. That is what makes a woman truly beautiful. If a man sees no beauty in women, he's not going to be attracted and encouraged to man up.
I tried my best for years to save my marriage, but my wife divorced me anyway. Everything is going great for me. I am retired and have time to do all the things I had given up during 22 years of marriage. I'm dating a girl who is 15 years younger and loves having sex all the time. Meanwhile, my ex is miserable and completely lost in life. She now knows I was not to blame for all of her unhappiness. I still believe staying married is best for everyone, and wish we could have sorted things out, but it takes 2 to make it work. Women can demand and blame and divorce all they want, but be careful what you wish for.
WHATEVER YOU DO DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER GET MARRIED EVER AGAIN
Glad to hear you have a great comeback story! Cheers! 🍻
How old is she
Your story my friend is one I hear a great deal oft repeated a great many many times.
Your a king and your son or daughter should be proud of the man you are your ex wife is lost without your broski
I've been married twice. I won't do it a third time. While being with someone you truly love is something so wonderful it's hard to express with words, finding out that you've been played for a fool is equally devastating. I'm so glad I'm not a young man in today's world for so many different reasons.
It's over for us young men. We need to find a new American dream.
Glad to see a Man Learning from their mistakes and moving forward.
It’s not today’s world….the rest of the world is happily married…it’s America …go to eastern countries and see for
Yourself
Been married once, and won't be doing that again.
Once is enough, LOL.
Women - Get ready for a rude awakening
Men - Don’t threaten us with a good time
You: You understand the subject
oh no don't threaten me with peace quiet time and extra money in my wallet whatever will I do???
The best thing that could ever happen to Men in America. Divorce is freedom for Men.
10% bmi + 35 years. Believe in me, whit this two you won’t need a lot of money
You know youre with the wrong person when...
"Blaming someone else for your unhappiness is delusional"
Those are some strong but really true words.
Some of us went through severe unspeakable issues.
That's life for some. Are you going to allow yourself to live as a victim in your mind for the rest of your life? No, don't sully your mind to such thoughts. Rise, and prevail to become great.
Say that to a r*pe victim
Life is unfair. Some are born with a silver spoon in their mouths, others into beggary. Some win the genetic lottery, others are born deformed.
Some have the means to improve their lives, others do not.
it's what women do. they are CHIDLISH. most women do not mature past age 16 until they reach age 50.
I was at a wedding and the man who was officiating said “most people think marriage is a treasure chest that they are able to get whatever they need out of. While that is true, it is important to understand that the treasure chest is empty and it is the husband and the wife’s mission to constantly be adding to the chest, always putting more in than they take out. If both people commit to doing so then it will never be empty”
That’s wonderful. I like it.
This is pretty good. I am going to copy this down and keep it in mind. Cheers!
That’s beautiful man.
That's really great stuff. Because if both people treat it like the Jamestown community storehouse, taking more than they put in, then eventually both partners will be left with nothing and both blaming the other for the lack.
Today's women are committed to their man filling the chest, while they take from it.
When you said people are not ready for marriage and aren’t educated in conflict resolution that hit the nail on the head for me. I hit a brick wall in my first marriage and didn’t know how to communicate to my wife that I needed help and she didn’t know how to communicate her own feelings and we went from a happy married couple to a miserable married couple that divorced after 4 years. I wish I knew then what I know today.
That lady is completely clueless. The rude awakening has already happened. Most men are walking away from getting married.
After my divorce, all of my interactions with guys who had already gone through a divorce made so much more sense and seeing how much of a hardass they were was always a question of like 'were they a hardass before the divorce or because of it???" Most likely because of it...
A woman like this....when she is "finally free to live her biggest life", suddenly gets hit with all of the slings and arrows the guy was quietly taking for years, then realizes that a bottle of wine on a beach is actually not that great....the goes and gets married again to fill the void in her soul.
Maybe I'm being a little dramatic
@@blackjackjesterActually it is well spoken with literary prose. The void, the emptiness dug out from her jaws of hunger never to be satiated. What a pathetic existence. You are right, blindness is deceiving
I wish you were wrong. I try every day to fight your perspective. Self assessment. Honest reflection. Therapy. Questioning my choices. Holding myself accountable.
You're completely right.
@@blackjackjester Not by much.
Demanding more while giving basically nothing 👌 L
Basically the Brazillian Tragedy. Everyone wants to earn more and work less for it and that's why everything's shit.
Pretty much
Requesting more while also inquiring to do less
Well said 👏🏽
What’s the whole thing with the Barbie movie? I never saw it
I cannot help but feel many people are delusional. But those who blame one sex - those very individuals are responsible for their own misery.
Exactly.
I think that woman was sleeping with to many "chads".
That's the whole thing on the imbalance of contributions made to the relationship. One person can be contributing more, but the other one STILL is mad because in their deluded mind, they are getting the short end of the stick, or wants and desires unmet.... And want the more giving person to give MORE..... And you can't break their delusion.
In a zero sum game one side is to blame. Only 2% of women are interested in the average man. Womwn find 80% of men ugly Women all think they are 10s. Body positivity? High body count ok?
If 80% of taxpayers are called ugly and notice, they are not to blame.
"They believe it is a feeling." This is exactly how my 5 year long relationship ended. Those that follow their feelings and do not know how to use logic to understand their feelings and why they feel them, they will always betray you. I just wish there was someone out there that wanted to work together and support eachother, instead of selfishly wanting the relationship to be about them..
Exactly, emotions are more self centered while logic is interpreting reality, ever wonder why for the most part as men we've lead the world while women want to be lead by leaders, who interpreted everything.
Bluejaykilla Women are lazy in general.
Liberalism can not exist without hurt feelings,conflicting impulses and mood swings, simple.
Our whole lives have been a rude awakening. There is literally nothing else you can do to us.
These women are the only ones being surprised
That's right. Women treat us like 💩 for 70+ years and are just now surprised that we don't come out to play? Fk them.
This. If the goal was to get men to change, it was a complete failure. I have become more conservative, not less.
When enough men join the far right, and seize power, it will be worse than a rude awakening for women. Try being Wile E Coyote when the train hits him.
@@fearthemerciful In the past 5-10 years "repeal the 19th" went from being an ironic meme comment meant to intentionally draw ire to something that garners some level of unironic agreement, even with some women. I'm not saying I personally agree or disagree with the sentiment, but the overton window has clearly shifted on the proposition, and not in the direction demanding women featured in this video wanted it to go.
Passport bros exist for a reasons and misandry is top of the list.
Anyone who's idea of being mistreated is not "living the big life" has a sense of entitlement that is off the charts. If you want "the big life" go out to work for it yourself and see how much it takes to provide that level of income.
pretty much this. I know a woman who divorced an engineer because she was not leading the big lifestyle that she thought she was going to get. She got a rude awakening that a 30 + year old single mom with 2 kids has a very low dating value. Fast forward 20 years. her adult kids hate her because she was never around when they were growing up , she lives in a small apartment working a close to minimum wage level job. Meanwhile her ex started his own company and is a multimillionaire. He married a woman 15 years younger. So she left him and her big life that she thought she was going to lead was a nightmare since she could not finance it and then men who could had zero interest in her..
Realizing that you might not get the "big life" you dreamed about is called becoming an ADULT. For this woman to realize this in her 30s means she's had a very privileged and protected life.
@@rhadiemAbsolutely - clearly someone who has never actually had to work to provide the lifestyle she enjoys . . . . . years of 12-16 hour days that it actually takes to get to that point.
Bingo!!!
Men are literally moving to different continents to avoid women with this mentality. Not all are like this, and it's unfortunate that some women are ruining things for the decent ones here.
It's not going to change until the good women hold the bad ones accountable, and that's a long shot. So I don't expect this to change anytime soon, and I find it utterly hilarious.
@@thatguy9088it's like the pavement is scorching outside, but they refuse to put on shoes...and I can't figure out why?
It's freezing in the house but they won't adjust the the thermostats..
They are driving on E but refuse to put gas in the car...
3 percent but refuse to charge her phone
Tired as all get out before bed, but chugging coffee...
I just don't get it. And some how so many woVen keep getting the same wrong answer
Exactly, I plan on joining that crew in 2024. Got a few loose ends to fix here in America and then I'll be golden to start my journey. Not to mention with more traditional women the cost of living is cheaper and the culture is much healthier overall
Women in different continents have their own agenda. They have several eggs in their basket and will go for the highest bidder. Statistics show that those mail order bride marriages have higher divorce rates. Men are chasing a fantasy. You will never find the right one until you become the right one. There are plenty of amazing women on your street but you don't even notice them.
I really do feel bad for the decent women as the bad apples make it difficult to find them and also many chameleons move and look like decent women until they show their true colors and ruin that man's life and have made men generally skeptical about modern, western women and would opt to go overseas where the culture,laws etc incentivize marriage and family
But that said, many men have been ruined to the point of unsubscribing from life because they faced risk of imprisonment if they fell back on alimony/child support or were homeless after divorce or the pain of the betrayal and alienation from their children was too much to bear... So many won't even roll the dice in the west even with a prenup or other assurances.
Two words: “Passport Bros.”
I wish the men who choose to stay the best of luck.
they are fools, the ones who stay.
This is the way, but I'm afraid soon this market is going to get corrupted too
2 more words: Sex Traffickers
When we were still together, my ex-wife had a laundry list of what she thought were a husband's responsibilities. After a few years of doing my best to meet those expectations but always falling short somehow, I asked her what a wife's responsibilities were in a marriage. She couldn't even lie and make something up. Like it was physically impossible for her to verbally commit to anything I might expect from her later. After trying to fix things for years for our kids, and her breaking up and getting back together with me repeatedly, I finally ended things for good. I was hurting the kids more by allowing her to yoyo back and forth, than by ending things.
Historically it was always women that wanted marriage. IF the Great Divorce really is a thing, they're going to be the ones to regret it the most.
The statement that "historically it was always women who wanted marriage" is not specifically factual. Marriage has been a social institution with varying expectations and motivations for both men and women throughout history and across different cultures. The idea that only women have historically wanted marriage is an oversimplification.
Gender Roles: Traditional gender roles have been a part of many societies, and these roles have evolved over time. Historically, gender roles within marriage often dictated that men were responsible for providing for the family financially, while women were responsible for homemaking and child-rearing. However, these roles have changed significantly in many parts of the world over the past century, with increasing gender equality and shared responsibilities.
@@Marty_TH-camr do you mean men started giving birth to kids? 🤣🤣
@@bogdankovalenko5096That's incorrect.
I will correct you my friend: the bride's father/male guardian wanted marriage the most :)). For obvious reasons. Women just want protection and support as far as I observed. In modern times, in modern places, that's provided by the govt. It is the subpar alternative, but it provides a choice where there was none 100 years before.
The main reasons for men to get married was: the threat from the father/legal guardian, and the concocted system or religion (and the threat of some form of Hell). Boils down to threats :). Why a man in the last 50 years felt the need to get married, is beyond me. Probably inertia. That guilt tripping with religion. You can help your offspring even if you don't have some govt paper/sky daddy blessing with the mother. No marriage needed.
And probably some delude fellows believed it means free sex. With the advent of better information we have learned that's exactly the opposite.
Way ahead of you, ladies. I gave up on women a long, long time ago. Enjoy yourselves. It's all in your hands now. Make it all happen ... on your own.
I gave up almost 20 years ago after being married 3 times.
Bingo. Remember, men: no marriage, no cohabitation...no exceptions. This video just underlines why.
Yeah I was thinking during the opening rants "men are in for a rude awakening? You're right! Awaking to the fact that modern relationships suck and marriage is signing yourself up for use and abuse on a daily basis"
@@StarWindEnergin Yep, there is just no upside for men to marry. Statistically we just lose big if we end up divorced. Unless she is a crackhead prostitute that is homeless and mentally ill she will win in court. You can lose your home, half of your pension and a lot of your current salary. I was lucky with my marriages, only one was long term and at that time I was not financially stable and my house had little equity. If I was young now I would not marry and if in a state that recognized "common law" marriage I would not live with a woman.
@@tommytomhanmy god and I sit here to myself thinking I can’t even get a single girlfriend. Is it worth going through that pain?
A lot of men don't want to get married after watching a massive amount of men get destroyed in divorce. If the "Great Divorce" happens, I believe the majority of men will lose interest in marriage, maybe even relationships, altogether.
It’s already happening. The younger generations of men are wising up that many marriages lead to a spouse that cheats, checks out of the marriage, and ultimately takes half their money in the divorce proceedings.
I’m not saying all marriages are doomed, as I’ve been married for 20 years, but there’s certainly a lot of people that don’t take it seriously. Many don’t understand what it takes to be committed to a long-term relationship. From what I hear. many are just checking out of the whole idea of getting married and are staying single.
If the “great divorce” takes place. Young men will quit getting married. The problem of single mothers will get worse.
Call girls are cheaper. Marriage is just tooooo risky for men today.
The great divorce has already happened 😂 we learned from our fathers mistakes and now it’s our turn to get the last laugh
@johncoviello8570 I'm fortunate that I make enough money to hire a professional. I'm not proud of hiring one, but it fills my needs with no strings attached. No ghosting, no feelings, no drama, I get hot young women and I'm treated like a king.
I completely agree that you need to be happy with yourself and being alone, before you get into a relationship. I’ve personally have noticed Narcissism is on the rise, especially in women!
I don't think women can stand being alone.
That's why most have cats.
women can't be alone. they aren't designed for it.
a man should know how to be alone.
a woman should stay in her fathers household until she's ready to marry.
to say that a woman should know how to be alone is essentially the same thing as saying that a woman should know how to be a man.
@@RUHappyATM They also can't handle rejection ... or the word "no"
Single motherhood did this.
I've had this happen to me personally. I was willing to work with my ex on her traumas and issues, but as soon as one of mine came up she dropped me. Women are just not willing to put in as much as men. They've been told to expect everything and tolerate nothing by the media, influencers, and their environment. The great divorce is coming, but it's not coming from the women. It's coming from the men who are not willing to date the women like this.
Amen!
Exactly
Completely agree. I’m divorcing my wife because she contributes nothing to the relationship. And after she cut off sex, she contributed less than nothing to the relationship. I will never get married again
This sounds terrible, but I almost don't want to date any woman who says she has "trauma" because those women almost always use that as an excuse for bad behavior. Personally, I have certainly dealt with my own "trauma," but I am mature enough to not allow it to enslave me or spill over into a relationship.
It's not coming; it's already here, but it's not taking the form of divorce; it has taken the form of men refusing to wed in the first place.
Isn't it hilarious that women think they are in control of things that they have absolutely no control over? Give it 10 years, she will be the one having the crude wakening
Exactly! How can the great divorce happen if men refuse to get married.
10 is quite optimistic.
5. Being generous.
Maybe even 0.. Can't see why anyone would want her even now with those looks and poor attitude.@@ThZuao
@@ThZuao no she looks old enough that it would only take two years for her to hit the wall but the girls in her audience need at least 10 years to realize they've been lied to and they are far less desirable now 10 years later
@@ThZuaono 3 she's about to hit the wall
The reason relationship skills aren't being taught is because pointing out the ways someone is screwing up makes them extremely uncomfortable. That woman (talking about the rude awakening men are going to get) is the kind of person who goes through life believing that she's going to get what she wants, when she wants it. Telling someone "no" isn't the same as controlling them.
😂😂😂😂 I love this, ive seen older women getting pissed when they realise they cant get the ken they thought they deserved… so delusional
As someone once said, if a society sells more adult diapers than baby diapers, they are in trouble
The point is valid, but of course the need for adult diapers is due to medical conditions.
Confucius say
But hey maybe if society sold more adult diapers (for whatever gdamn reason) in committed monogamous relationships the result is the same. The problem is perceived sexual deviance but the lack of ability to develop commitment or loyalty. If the church couples and the BDSM couples divorce at the same rates then maybe we shouldn't be laying morality at the feet of one thing or the other, but understand the underpinning of communities which starts at the family which starts between a commitment of two people to join together, sick or well, diapers or latex, death do part Yada Yada Yada.
@@azmike3572 Of course of course, but, if you expand on the point further, there is an even more interesting implication:
Since the adult diapers are needed for medical conditions usually related to aging, the saying might as well be interpreted as 'If society has more pensioners than babies, they are in trouble'. Which is a problem in many ways directly related to the issues discussed in the video. My point being: we are all fucked either way lol
This should work: "50% are going to get divorced in affluent societies nowadays and and lose half their wealth through alimony"
she's describing a mass-exodus from marriage.
men are way ahead of that curve.
If y'all don't want to be married, you can't complain if a woman who's looking for a serious relationship passes on you.
@@hotpockets69 this seems unrelated
@@hotpockets69Mathematically impossible
clueless response.
Only It's d the guys who WANT RELATIONSHIPS giving up.
The Players and felons are happy with the situation. @@hotpockets69
@@hotpockets69 who asked for this comment, and who was complaining :D
Courtney absolutely nailing it as usual, bringing a balanced, nuanced, and honest assessment of the situation. We are in a culture filled with emotionally immature and unhealthy people with massively distorted expectations. It’s society wide, both sexes, and not taking accountability for that is causing massive social decay. Everybody wants to point the finger, nobody wants to take ownership
I want you to specifically name what the majority of men are doing wrong. Be very specific
@@90sshuffle Sadly, @infinitedurr is correct. Victim blaming is the name of the game today. If anyone takes any accountability, they are shunned and cancelled into oblivion as the scapegoat for all of society's problems. Better to double down, triple down, etc. until the heat is off you and on to someone else.
Men, especially last century, held the most prominent positions of government, corporations, religious, and charitable institutions. We know what is best for society and families, but the patriarchy threw that away for appeasement, votes, cheaper labor, more validation, and more income.
Women are more likely to spend money, attend religious services, volunteer for charitable organizations, not ask for raises at work, and vote for their own interests.
The patriarchy said "Yes" to women's FOMO in society and caused many of the laws, rules, norms, and precedents which have led to the massive social decay stated above. And, it will not get better until the great divorce stated in the video.
Never go full simp
Please explain how it's okay to victim-blame most men, or explain how they fk up?
The videos by men are about how they are moving on and had enough of the games, the videos the women make are about how perfect they are and how all men are failing.
Courtney did a bit of victim blaming here, more than she should of. Both sides are not equally wrong and playing it off that way only continues to provide the side who has been demonstratively more unreasonable cover.
If you have a problem with men, tell us plainly, the majority will fix themselves. Never tell typical women these days they have a problem, they will seek to destroy you with a vengeance and never consider that they are anything less than perfect.
My ex looked me straight in the eye and said,"I want you to understand that you are the one responsible for the demise of the marriage. That I was 💯 at fault."
I do claim 51% responsible, but boy, she is in for a rude awakening!
some of them do a lot of projection
Yup.
She will never be happy.
I totally agree with this. Blaming men is embracing a stereotype.
Once you can find a woman that appreciates all your hard work then we can talk. Was with my ex for 14 years and two kids. I paid for everything. Kept her car running , roof over her head, and food in the fridge. Cheated on me with a guy who still lives in his moms house. Good luck don’t pick a girl who demands the world because they can’t give it back that’s for sure
it really doesn't matter does it? it seems it can happen to anyone with anyone. like, many times you'll hear that women will go for a man that's better looking and has more financial resources, but there's plenty of examples of it happening in the way it happened to you.
then you ask yourself what's even the point of becoming a high value man when either you'll get cheated on as a HVM, or you can participate in cheating as not a HVM.
Exactly and it's why I checked out on women many years ago.@@cunjoz
@@cunjoz the game is rigged #leavethewest
@@cunjozEveryone should be cheating, unless you want to become bitter volcel.
@@shin-ishikiri-nopathetic
Someone once told me that marriage in a nutshell is women get married hoping to change a man , and men get married hoping the woman will never change.
Sure, but the most insidious part of that isn't her changing him. It's how when they do successfully change the man they're so often no longer attracted to the soft guy they turned him into. There's no outcome which makes them truly happy with him.
He is Tom Leykis.
Wise person.
BOTH delusional
"The Great Divorce" Would mean thousands of men finally get peace lol.
YOU'RE A GD PROPHET, BRO
*When a woman says she is being "controlled by money" what she really means is he is not giving her his money that she feels entitled too.*
Gender equality means no freebies for any women, regardless of how attractive she is.
Quote of the day right here.
I have always found the idea of financial abuse as curious.
💯
@@benaud5790 *It's just shamming language to extract resources from the man.*
@@benaud5790it does happen but as usual, those who cry wolf ruin it for the legitimate people.
I'm so glad one gender is solely to blame for all this happening. Thanks Barbie for awakening the masses to our bad behavior😃👍
All jokes aside. I loved that movie lol
@@GoldenMushroom64 Considering how it's an effective piece of propaganda, I feel nothing but loathing for it's implicit themes and overt messages.
A keeper is a woman that wanted to see the other movie that came out that weekend. Then after the movie, asked why we didn’t listen to General Curtis LeMay and do it when we had two hundred and they only had one or two.
The most important thing I learned from consuming social media, is that the more extreme a belief is the more likely there’s an agenda, and it’s usually a divisive one. Critical thinking is extremely important.
My mother has been married and divorced 4 times and blames all the men. Trust me, it was her not keeping her legs closed.
We cant pick our mothers, bro that has to be very annoying.
i wonder what kind of concept of women do you have 🤔since you talk about your mother like that
@@victoriaporsiempre - It's either what you said or he was just saying facts and you can't handle the truth.
@victoriaporsiempre So you're saying he should lie about how bad his mother was? Why should he protect someone who makes stupid choices?
WGTOW?
I’m all for it. Have your expectations as sky-high as you want! What could possibly go wrong?
😂
women are you sure you want to go to war with men,you will loose.
Yep tell ya story walking ladies. You got your masculinity you wanted , now reap it.
They can't go their own way. Every single one of them needs to live with a man, who else is going to check what the scary sound was in the middle of the night? They all need a man for security and they bloody well know it.
*Women are, as a group, NEVER satisfied.*
@@mosampson8862 well if it wasnt for all the fucking simps giving them everything free
14 years single and couldn't be happier. Aside from intimacy, there is no role a female completes that I cannot do on my own. No one has the right to expect more from another. You didn't fall in-love based on expectations or accolades and if you did, you never experienced love. Women want to be loved, appreciated, heard, respected ect ect and those are the ONLY things that should ever be expected in a relationship. We men are not your girlfriend, we are not your mother, aunt, or sister - We are not built to fill all the roles you wish males would fill nor should we be expected too; Learn to love the differences even in conflict because without those differences you're just loving what you create and not who you found - Time will smooth out the rough edges. Most importantly ladies, please learn how to choose a man, not just a male.
Semen Retention.
I am 15 years single I am 35 years old, and I agree with you man. I say intimacy is a bit of a problem because we are not meant to be alone.
Good job,Man.. I noticed that you've been forced to learn to control your biology, as most MEN have.. And it's EXTRA pathetic on women's part, considering HOW LITTLE Men need in a relationship..
14 or 15 years alone and "happy"?
I call BS - might be what you tell yourself and everyone around you but you're lying. And because you're lying is likely a large reason why you're alone.
@@ccreature7086why do you assume that??? Women are at best a giant pain in the a$$.
They always complain about sex not being fulfilling,about not getting enough money,or not helping around the house when he works 13 hours a day.
Alone is the happiest you will be.
People are not happy because they don't pay attention to what is in front of them. Yoda said it.I believe it
I've been married for 34 years. I got lucky and found a women who understood what "till death us do part" really means. We have agreed on most of the big issues in our lives that really matter and respect our differences on the small ones that, in the end, really don't matter which most people seam to focus on. When we went to the courthouse to get our marriage license we were in the waiting area and the person who issues the licenses was asking questions of the older couple just before us how many marriages they both had for the application form and the women said 5 and the man said 3. My wife and I both looked at each other and were silently thinking WTF! we both laughed about it after we left the courthouse.
This should work: "50% are going to get divorced in affluent societies nowadays and and lose half their wealth through alimony"
I was kind, loving and supportive throughout our relationship. She came to blame me for everything wrong in her life going back to her childhood. She left convinced all would be right in her world if she were on her own. It's not, but it sure has improved my life. Women need marriage far more than men. Men, protect yourselves.
The men that "need" a rude a rude awakening have an unlimited line of foolish women lining up for them. All that woman said was she doesn't know how to pick a mate. No surprise there. Also, your happiness is not your spouses responsibility. Period.
This has been the realist video topic on marriage and divorce. Marriage is a partnership that takes work, and never taking your partner for granted. ❤
Unfortunately, the only ones that don't seem to cheat are the ones who have a public image. I had friends who had great marriages, until they hired p.i's to track them. They were horrified.
Yes. Women need to stop cheating!
If, for men, marriage takes work, what is the point of marriage? What is the payoff?
I can't help but see the inner child of the woman giving the warning, as she's essentially saying "Think you're going to mgtow us? No! We wgtow you!"
She lost but does not know it yet/
Problem with that is feminism is the mgtow for women so who cares.
Lol this was my first thought so predictable same old emotional no acceptance of responsibility thinking. @@madhatter9001
What is mgtow and wgtow?
@@1twistedcpl6575mgtow = Men Go Their Own Way.
Wgtow = Women Go Their Own Way.
This is sooooo balanced and nuanced… I’m blown away. I wish more content about relationships should be like this 👌
Coming from a failed marriage of 22 years looking back, I know my faults in it. But with that said, what I've run into now dating is that 8 out of 10 women have unrealistic expectations of being financially supported from day one. I also think nobody wants to put in the work that it takes to make it work. It's all about instant gratification from both sides.
You are nothing but a pack mule to women. The faster you realize that, the better. Live for yourself and never marry again. It's a fool's game. Dogs and hobbies will always be better than women.
It's a cope from women side they see it as a strategy to weed out the guys that will waste their time
Yeah, I agree.
Especially from single mums or pre-30's women.
>It's all about instant gratification from both sides.
no, it's mostly women. Stop doing the "both sides" BS
"why are we choosing so poorly?"
There are a variety of factors I know, and this applies to both genders;
- Instant gratification
- Overinflated expectations
- Unresolved traumas
- Unwillingness to compromise
- Insufficient inner work
This video actually really hit me. I’m losing my family because I was on auto pilot, stressed out from work, and generally not appreciating the amazing gift that I have in my house. Now they are gone and I see my kids two days a week, and I realize now what is truly important. I just wish I realize this a couple of years ago before it was too late. I think you’re doing a really good thing making content like this.
I’m sorry to hear this. Hugs to you and hoping things get better from here 🤍
@user-ls4df8yq5o I know I feel pretty dammed if I do dammed if I don’t if I’m being honest. I just miss my kids. Hopefully voice acting will take off and I can work from home. I don’t know what else to do.
@@CourtneyRyan thanks - keep going, hopefully you can help change the conversation to solution based actions, instead of whatever the hell this current state of things is.
Everything is the man’s fault (sarcasm). A woman can cheat and she’d get upset that her husband looked through her phone vs taking responsibility for her actions. This will never change.
I do agree with you. I was raised in Church, very traditional. My mom and dad were married for 30 years until my mom passed away with colon cancer so I have a sense of what it should look like.
I feel like being *so* excited for a big divorce says a lot about a person.
Ive had a front row seat to three of my co workers divorces, 2 of them are men, one is a woman, all three of them the woman filed, all three were precipitated by the women going cold, and being shitty to the man while the men tried desperately to fix it, all three of the men lost $100k+, I fully believe that that situation is what happens 90% of these, all of my break ups were the same way, I had 6 or 7 serious and semi serious relationships, all ended with me trying to save it it and them being cold shitty and distant, its their nature
I have 2 friends currently going through divorce. For both of them the men filed and aren’t willing to try and fix things. Yet I don’t believe ALL men are shitty and cold cause it’s, “in their nature” If you believe that’s how all women are then those women are who you’ll attract.
@@deadringer333 id like to hear the full story there, were their wives cold and distant for years before they filed? Did they stop taking care of themselves health wise? Maybe they had had enough of that, idk
The listen we've learnt is never try to save it guys
If you've been in half a dozen serious relationships and all of them failed, it's you. You just don't have the self-awareness to admit it. Y'all are doing something, or not doing something, for them to become cold.
@@hotpockets69 I would agree with you if I hadn't seen it happen so often. Although, I suspect what the women maybe becoming distant because he doesn't find her so physically attractive anymore. But nobody can talk about it so we hear all this nonsense.
I couldn't agree more, to have classes teaching how to have healthy relationships. Thinking about everything you mentioned today Courtney, it hits home for many people. The family used to be everything, but broken families are a big contributing factor in today's world.
I'd cringe to be a man part of such a class.
There's no reason to get married to have a relationship.
so true, people live what they learn, role modeling to be a good parent, spouse is taught in the home
@@swedishpagan2150speak for yourself. I’ve been an introvert with low confidence since middle school. I’m 33 now and looking for advice on youtube, of all things.
Not only is marriage over with, relationships themselves are on the ropes. People like simplicity and as this stuff just keeps getting more and more complex most people just won’t bother. Incubators are the future. Maybe it’s for the best.
you hit the nail on the head. After chasing career and relationships during my 20s (all which failed by the way). i was headed towards a heart attack. I told myself never again, for now on i will live in peace. Now that im in my 40s i have no regrets living a stress free life as i watch all my peers keep chasing the dream (careers, marriages, debt, etc)
Men are in for a rude awakening? Ohhhh noooooo what ever shall we do???😂😂😂
😂
@@CourtneyRyanseriously, I'm over it with women blaming men for everything. Its both men and women who suck at conflict resolution, who are just aimlessly wondering the dating world thinking its all about sex and intimacy. Ugh!!
I read that in Triumph the Insult comic dog's voice
What's the point actually been in a relationship in my experience nothing lasts
@@tommygunn6901 WHY do you even care? get your passport and go overseas. It is that simple.
"I don't believe people are equipped with the required skills for marriage or just a healthy relationship." -Courtney Ryan.
Yeah but it's mostly a woman problem 🤷♂️
often times it can be an ego problem. people these days can`t take constructive criticism and can be very soft and whiny. it's also important how you say things and sometimes choosing your battles wisely not nit picking at everything either. Listening well helps too.
often times people don't look too or want to improve and then blame.
Marriage is device for women. An artificial notion
I agree. I'm a child of divorce, and all my adults growing up had chaotic marriages or dating lives. I noticed they behaved as if after signing, the job is done. It was a disaster. I learned from their nonsense and chose my spouse carefully. We are happy, we can go days just together in our apartment and we are never tired of each other. We share values, goals, and support each other even when we disagree with certain choices. We are happy.
Have kids and see how that relationship of yours works. Kids add a new dimension to the problem and dual income households and kids dont mix like driving and alcohol.
You can't get divorced if you don't get married in the first place.
The biggest problem that I see with most people is that they get into a relationship or marriage without knowing what they need/want out of their partner and thinking they can change their partner to fit those needs/wants. I am someone who did this. I never dated because I was waiting for the right woman to come along. I thought I had found her, but I knew that we weren't fully compatible. I saw red flags, but hoped that I could change her. I ended up marrying her and those red flags never changed long term. I got tired of paying all the bills, doing the cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, house work, etc. I decided to get a divorce because I wasn't getting what I wanted from my wife.
The difference between me and most people is that I looked back on our entire time together and analyzed everything that went wrong. I identified everything I did wrong and worked out the ways that I can be a better husband in the future. I am also at fault for my marriage not working out. People are always so quick to put the entire blame on their partner. Now, I know what I want out of a relationship and won't enter into one I know won't work. If people took a step back and looked in the mirror then relationships would in fact get better as you gain experience and work on becoming a better person.
I’ve been married 37 years. We remain happy and fulfilled but that isn’t to say we haven’t had our problems with communication and disappointments. We constantly work at improving our relationship by acknowledging our faults and allowing forgiveness and room to grow with changes in our outlooks on life as we get older. I guess if I had to boil it down to a couple main attributes it would be adaptability and commitment to each other.
You come from an era where men don't have a million hoes lined up in his dms the second she messes up. Modern social media has made relationship a constant competition.
Congrats, good for you. I like to hear of the rare couple.
The wedding is not the finish line, it is the starting line, and all of the hard work is ahead of you:
and it takes *both* people working shoulder to shoulder. Marriages don't work if there's a dead weight just thinking about her own "Big life"...
My most serious relationship where i dated a woman who had a really toxic abusive relationship. I was the stupid Knight in Shining Armour who believed i could take care of her. But as time went on and i did take care of her and her confidence built-up, ahe cheated on me. She literally was the abused who turned into the abuser.
Broke me. I have dated since but the world has gotten crazy and i just dont want to olay the game anymore.
This just highlights how toxic social media and our society has become. If these women are unhappy in their relationship, it has to be somehow because all men are bad and not just they chose poorly on an individual basis. We certainly all need to be better and should be working on improving ourselves and self-reflecting enough to learn our shortcomings and course correct when necessary. But, I' also see women playing a part in their own misery by not ever bringing any of the issues up to the partner (and not to girlfriends and/or social media) and asking for (or demanding even) what they want and giving the partner a chance to learn and improve. Seems like throw it away is too easy and first option instead of last.
These are the fruits of rampant rugged individualism and unrestrained hypergamy
A lot of us do bring up the issues we need addressed but a lot of guys just ignore us until we start screaming, which is our last resort of demands before we walk out. My husband (passed away) and last fiance ignored me when I asked for help with housechores. I can count on one hand, how many times both of them helped out and I did sit them down to request help since I was working a bunch, taking care of kids, cleaning the house, etc. Then towards the end of the relationships they became controlling. After being out of relationships, I've noticed my kids are happier, there's more money to pay bills and go on vacations, I'm safer, and I have less housechores (one less person to clean up after and my kids help more than any man). Unfortunately I've only found toxic, immature men and I've decided not to date anymore.
Love the play on words for Social Media: Model (Thot) Follower (Stalker) .
Agree these old mutton’s need to grow up , putting their crazy AF delusion on tik tik for younger girls and women to follow is poisoning the Feild for everyone one else . Go see a therapist.
It's important to remember that people like this 'rude awakening' woman do exist. But sometimes they get too much of the oxygen in the room. Don't forget that women like Courtney still exist.
We won't treat her like feminists treat men, don't worry :)
Yeah, but you have to be Indiana Jones to find them.
Women like Courtney are few and far between. Besides, she's still young and hot. Give her a few more years of marriage, and especially add children to the mix. You'll probably see the she devil in her, too.
@@tetedur377 damn right. Things can change in a heartbeat.
If too much oxygen is the norm? Somebody light a match! 😂
Very well balanced analysis, Courtney. Not an easy thing to do in this era when you can get cancelled just for expressing an opinion that goes against popularity. Thank you.
This should work for the boys: "70% are going to get divorced in affluent societies nowadays and and lose half their wealth through alimony"
Divorce is a rude awakening due to the laws.
Do not get married. Avoid any rude awakening.
Have fun darlin. Men are MUCH better equipped to be alone than you are. As soon as we hit puberty, we stand alone. I've been alone for 35 years and i'd be alone another 35 before I'd deal with a toxic harpy that just wants and wants from me without giving.
"Men are MUCH better equipped to be alone..." that's not according to the statistics, I've come across including people like Jordan Peterson. Men are more exposed to loneliness and misery. If you've been alone for years, good for you, but lots of men seek a mom. Women are better at building networks. Men get bored listening to other men
When I was younger, I worked in senior care. Unfortunately, it was mostly men who lived the end of their days in misery. Everyday, I would hear many talk about the same past regrets or mistakes in their lives and some would ask for ways to end their lives, which was tough to witness.
Women had more visitors and connections within the facility and participated in more activities. They were generally more accepting of their current circumstances.
The men were more prone to injuries since many would hesitate to even ask for help to do daily functions.
This needs to be acknowledged more. Of course there are many people in general who are ok being alone and they say it while having fully functional bodies.
Humans and life are fickle. It's important to be able to cultivate your own happiness but connection with others is also important. Just from the tone of your message, it doesn't really seem like you're happy.
@@poulmadsen7969 yeah but the numbers will be in his favor at the end and short term runs will do
@@poulmadsen7969 I agree although they might not be necessarily seeking a "mom" figure, people in general seek connection or the desire to be understood.
Women are more open to drawing upon the feminine and masculine qualities within themselves which allows for them to feel more complete and balanced, even moreso as they get older. They are also more open to forming deep friendships.
With some men, they are more focused on trying to maintain their masculine side and that doesn't allow for balance. The relationships they try to form are rooted in that one side, which is usually to the detriment of themselves and others.
@@poulmadsen7969I just go out and meet new people I never get bored
I had just ended a 7 year relationship last year. I met my ex in a very organic social setting in drop in sports. I did not keep up witht the dating scene for a long time. I get back out into the market, and I'm just utterly flabbergasted at how there's so much animosity between men and women! If you want to find a partner what will all this villanization of the other partner do to you? Whats with all the vitriol for your significant other? Thats how you keep yourself a lonely person.
Yeah lots of hurt people on each side and they spread their hurt and keep themselves in a cycle
At one point therapists will have to start being honest with their clients despite the risk of losing them. "Look, you have a high probability to be a narcissist, not your ex, not your mom, not the walls, not the sky... you. If it's any consolation, social media may have an influence, so ditch it for some time and let's see if you get better."
There's a TH-cam video of a therapist saying anytime ahe confronted women about their own bad choices they just stopped going
Therapists are not the problem, dishonest patients are.
W3men "men are in for a rude awakening, women are done."
Men: "you're late as usual, we're way ahead of you😂"
😁😁😁
Love your honesty...thank you for understanding how unrealistic women can be, like that video you showed. In my 13 yr marriage, my fault was I thought by putting my wife through law school, raising stepchildren and our son, that we had a bright future when we had a two income household. She wouldn't get a job, but loved to say she graduated. When my business had a downturn after 9/11/01, she told me that I needed to get a second job because she needed to be a stay at home mom.....then she pushed for divorce.
Bruce just remember, women don't love you realistically, they only love you as a pack mule. Practically every woman is like this. My own mother and sisters included. Watch animal parasite videos if you want insight into female behavior.
They all do this apparently
Let us be honest, we come for Courtney's facial expressions. But we stay for her words of wisdom.
And boooobs....
@@nathanknight6042go outside
🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@nathanknight6042crass....but true.
Courtney is savvy. She knows her audience, knows TH-cam, and chooses her outfits with intention.
We came for the low cut sweaters, and stayed for the wisdom and life lessons.
@@nathanknight6042you should be ashamed. She isn't even wearing a revealing outfit.
One of the greatest signs of maturity is when someone takes accountability for a failed relationship/marriage. It's never one-sided, and growth starts when you point the finger at yourself for your shortcomings as well.
If women are looking forward to the "Great Divorce," I'm looking forward to the "Great Accountability." Women also need introspection and to learn why they chose their partners poorly, and how they also failed the relationship.
It wouldn't hurt if more women, especially these "strong, independent" women, would acknowledge that men do in fact have feelings and they matter just as much as theirs.
The irony there is pointing the finger at women is the opposite of accountability. Both men & women have their shortcomings. As a common example, men who are hyper-focused on materialistic things & think their sole purpose is to go to work to pay bills end up neglecting the emotional needs of the marriage. That leads to divorce. Women who think their sole purpose is to cook & clean & look like some trophy do the same. I've actually seen comments where ppl say that once they give or get the ring, their job is finished, it's up to the other person to work to keep them faithful & happy. That is a recipe for divorce. Both parties need to work together if there is going to be any hope to fix the mess rather than expecting the other side to fix it for them.
@@justacoginthefkery Accountability: The comment highlights the importance of accountability in relationships. Pointing fingers at one gender and blaming them for issues in a marriage is counterproductive. It's essential to recognize that both men and women can contribute to both the strengths and weaknesses of a marriage.
Neglecting Emotional Needs: The comment acknowledges that individuals of both genders can sometimes become overly focused on specific aspects of their roles or responsibilities in a marriage, which can lead to neglecting the emotional needs of their partner. This can be detrimental to the relationship and potentially lead to divorce.
Unrealistic Expectations: The comment points out that unrealistic expectations can be a problem in marriages. When individuals believe that their role ends once they give or receive a ring and expect the other person to maintain the relationship's happiness and faithfulness on their own, it can create difficulties. Successful marriages require active efforts and contributions from both partners.
Collaboration and Communication: The comment emphasizes that both parties need to work together to address issues in the relationship. Effective communication, compromise, and collaboration are crucial for resolving problems and improving the quality of the marriage.
Responsibility for a failed marriage? Lol have you seen how women divorce? They up and leave, they expect you to know why they left. They act like children.
@@brent4073I don't plan to get Married.
the "living the BIG life" quote is exactly why women have initiated 80% of all divorces...too much social media B.S. too many un-realistic expectations from too many self-centered "Barbie" "Princesses" out there for my liking....but you DO make some good points in this video I admit
The "big life" that we're expected to support is unrealistic. We aren't denying anyone anything we just know if we try to make it happen all we'll get is ruined and get abandoned in the aftermath bc somehow we get blamed when we simply just had limits.
Life is made up of routine & monotony. A content person knows this. People who think we should be living in a scripted Hollywood movie are always striving & never obtaining.
Men are primarily at fault for one reason only. The control of commitment in relationships and marriage. But you can't blame the "selectors" beyond a point when a sizable amount of the selection pool is either narcissistic or flat out deluded on reality. I as a guy, selected several negative partners in my youth due to their attractiveness. Now in my 30s I know better. I'd rather be single and aware than in a commitment with someone who doesn't meet my traditional values in relationships.
Been married 18 years. And it’s had its ups and downs. Ask anyone whose had a successful marriage and they will tell you that it takes hard work and self awareness on the part of both people. Also, communication is absolutely necessary. I think a lot of problems stem from people expecting the other person to value the same things as they do without explicitly communicating what those values are.
I swear, 50% of the serious discussions I've had with my wife on the first 4 years of marriage were "when you want me to do something specific, you need to be specific about what you want me to do"
This may not be a popular comment, but you have to address this is an American problem/Western problem….Asian/middle eastern/Indian /South American people do not have this problem….I think religion and culture plays a massive role
I think a lot of the population lacks the mental capacity for truthful and honest reflection. You're completely right that the partner you choose is a reflection of oneself, but most will never be able to take a step back and look at it from a birds eye.
Totally agree, self awareness seems to be just too much to ask of some people
Absolutely.
A woman talking on TikTok about her experiences with Chad doesn't paint the whole picture and that's where we'll continue to be until it's continuously called out.
My parents divorced and I'm terrified of it happening to me. Probably one of the reasons I've never even been in a relationship. And I think I definitely have a lot in my life that could be improved so it's made me hesitant to start even moving that direction.
Same here, and guess what - I got divorced. I truly believe that some of it, on my side of the whole thing, was a self-fulfilling prophecy. I expected it to go bad, and so I behaved in ways that helped that worry become a reality.
Same here. I was 7 years old when I went through my first divorce. I am NOT doing that again.
Dont marry then and avoid it
Getting married for a man in this day and age is a fools errand.
Don’t waste your time with a woman who doesn’t listen to what you have to say and makes it difficult for you to voice your position. Stay away or get her out of your life ASAP. Also, this may sound ridiculous but if you have any questions about her history then get a private investigator and have her checked out. You don’t want to be stuck with a compulsive liar like I was. It was too late for me when I learned about a few “details” of my ex’s life.
My impression is that people prioritize chemistry, fun, and lifestyle over relationship skills.
I think we would have better outcomes if we tried to find someone we can get along with on a day to day basis (and think of all the other things as bonuses)
Yeah, but...that's not EXCITING! 😭
Social media told the ladies they should get to have fun at all times without accountability
Yep it's terrible not having a modern day western woman in my life.
Own two bedroom Apartment
Own salary
Own military pension
Own investments ( stocks and shares)
Own car
Own free time
Own Holiday day Choice
No debt
No Nagging
No dramas
When I get up in the morning the only person I need to impress is me myself and I.
Yep looks like that rude awakening is looking bad for me.
Mrs Courtney Ryan says Men are the problem while 70 to 80 percent of Women file for Divorce and it cash and prizes for the woman while she sits with that size engagement ring ( and would Mrs Courtney Ryan not use them same divorce laws on her Man if she wanted too ? )
I’m Gen Z, I’m not married and have been single my entire adult life. Not gonna lie, everyday I ask myself if it’s even worth being in a relationship. The women my age expect too much and want some sort of prince charming. It also doesn’t help I’m financially struggling and don’t really have any real stability. I really do feel like i have entire society against me, I feel pretty vilified in almost every single way. The whole system doesn’t want guys like me to succeed or to be happy. I honestly just want to leave the USA 🇺🇸 and go somewhere else.
As a man the worst thing you can do is put your focus more on women than on yourself. Hit the gym, get your money up, and increase your knowledge and hobbies.
Very true
A lot of this video reminded me of things I don't miss about my ex fiancee. I tried my best to deal with her situation as she was a single mom that had been divorced; although it seemed like she made a lot of those decisions on autopilot. A lot of our arguments stemmed from life choices she had made that were now somehow my responsibility to fix and I quickly realized she was in the boat she was in because of her lack of emotional intelligence to handle a marriage/kid. I've been focusing on working on myself this past year and will continue to do so as I have been much happier with the realization that I can create my own reality and it doesn't have to be what everyone else is doing ❤.
@eriktrusdell8664 You dodged a bullet. I'm sorry it sounds callous, but I dated a single mother for a time, and You described my time with my ex so well. Like Your ex, my ex was never satisfied with anything I did. She was always demanding. I was reliable, and emotionally, very supportive. But she refused to take any ownership of her past life choices. And refused to make any changes all while expecting me to sacrifice everything for her. I'm glad You got out of that terrible situation. It was an enormous when I walked away from her almost a year ago. The demands most women make on men are insane, and impossible. My best regards to You on Your healing Journey.
Bro ... she had, literally, all the red flags of a train wreck and you still committed. She wasn't the problem. You were.
When you see the videos of women who regret divorcing good husbands, I think some of these women are in for a rude awaking themselves. Remember, most men don't need women in order to enjoy their free time; it's just nice to have someone around to share it with.
I'm the typical "nice guy" that almost always gets taken advantage of, and when I get tired of it after discussing my feelings with them, I split. I seem to get the most respect from women when I'm a bit of a jerk, and that's just not who I want to be. I don't think there are many women out there who knows how to appreciate the "nice guy". Too many women are self-absorbed and narcissistic and frankly they're just too much trouble to bother. I was married for 12 years...she never cooked, cleaned, or was romantic in the bedroom. After 12 years, I was done with doing everything. I have a hard time in believing there are women out there worthy of marriage. Like fishing, so few keepers, too many you have to throw back. Good luck to us all!
Story of my life! Stay strong buddy!!
I have heard of this nice guy problem. But after a take a deep breath, I think: what am I supposed to do? Be a mean guy? I think a man should simply act like a gentleman all the time. If a woman didn't like me because I was too nice, I would walk away.
Hi Courtney ... I am a married man for 37 years to the same woman ... your comments about about understanding commitment and working out differences during the different storms that life hands you. both of us ( meaning myself and my wife) bring different perspectives to everything we face. There will be tough times and good times but ultimately we are better together rather then apart. there is no magic formula for success but without commitment your chances for failure increases dramatically.
Three times I ran away from marriage just to avoid divorce. I've always been skeptical!
Five times for me, I RAN AWAY from marriage. Screw that, life is too short to deal with someone who will learn to loathe you and can exact punishment on you for her flaws.
I will not accept people into my life who don't treat me how they would like to be treated, and that has elminated most people. No one-sided relationships, never.
💯💯💯
I knew enough to know that marriage is a no win situation for 99% of people. I have had to just come to the reality that I will leave this world unloved , alone and forgotten. Its nearly impossible to meet anyone these days . To much outside influence of relationships from both sides. My last two long relationships ended basically the same way....I am just done. You can only have your heart squashed so many times...
The vast majority of people will die alone and will be forgotten. Even if you have a wife and kids there is no guarantee that they will love you. You are the one that is responsible for loving you. You are the one responsible for living the life that makes you happy. Once you are happy, your happiness will spread to others. Loneliness is just a holding cell waiting for you to open the door to your solitude. You are responsible for finding your solitude. Find solitude in your loneliness.
Today is a good day to invest in yourself, to re-invent your life. Do something good just to do something good and don't tell anyone about it. Enjoy!
@@zipcheckcheck I don't know if I feel motivated or empty from what you just said.. :D Right on though.
99% of people ? Maybe 99% of men, but for women, divorce is a big $ win.
Take your red pills, my friend. The first few pills suck but you'll get through the pain, and you will get stronger!
99% of marriages don't fail. Erroneous stat.
“I heard that pictures don’t change, just the people inside of them do, whoever told you that life would be easy, I promise that person was lying to you,” - NF. These lyrics come to mind here, especially when it comes to choosing who you want to marry.
I have never been in a romantic relationship with someone, but I will say that the "give and take" phenomena as to why people separate applies to all relationships in life. As of recent, I have recognized that for the past few years I frequently "go the extra mile" for my "friends" who hardly ever go out of there way for me unless they are expecting something in return. It has been very frustrating to deal with these people, but since I have started to make some drastic personal changes in an attempt to raise my self esteem, I realize that these people are not needed in my life, and that I do not need to please others to be happy with myself. It is hard to "cut off" some people who you have been friendly with for so long, but once you stop reaching out to them for a while and realize that they never reach out to you other than to ask for a favor, you recognize who truly cares about you. Bottom line is this: if you are not willing to reciprocate the time and energy somebody gives you, do not expect them to keep giving you the same time and energy. I think this is a major reason why divorce rates are so high. Both parties are to blame.
Well written poignant words.
Yeah, I cut "friends" like that with no remorse, and if anyone else asks I tell them why, still in a happy mood and with a little smile, just to keep the vibe positive and for the fact I feel better without "friends". I love my friends though! It's only been a small handful over many years though, because I'd like to be a good friend. :D
get injured and are dependent on others, and you find out your real community, village, family, friends, wife. A wife who stands by her vows, is a treasure.
how is both parties are to blame when it's 1 party that's not reciprocating? are you blaming yourself?
@@dian277 both parties to blame meaning men and women are guilty of this
I believe your main point of we as a people are unprepared in what it means to be married and the level of commitment requires for it is spot on. Your commentary on being accountable to yourself and your choices is very spot on. There are some cases where it is very one sided for both men and women but a lot of times it’s both people in the relationship failing to bring their 100% to the relationship (people mistakenly think it’s a 50/50 when it’s supposed to be 100/100).
My parents said that in marriage, each partner needs to give 110% and expect 50%. You will rarely be disappointed with that attitude. Marriage is a lot of work and expectations need to be realistic. You can't expect circus thrills every day.
It would be awfully nice to meet a young western woman with sane expectations, who isn't acting like she's some kind of Empress that all men should be grateful just to be around. My previous long-term partner was a lovely person with her own drives and qualities. Dating in this era would be hell. I'm so glad to have been born in the 70's and I have no intention of looking for love again. If it comes without an entitled brat demanding I change everything about my life and beliefs for her, I'll accept it with skepticism.
Courtney, you have some of the best videos and guidance. I’m middle aged, been with the same woman for about 15 years, unmarried. Honestly, I think it says more when people stay together because they want to and not because “a piece of paper” is forcing them to stay. I believe social interactions, relationships, commitments are having so many problems today because people believe they are more “special” than the next. If people “give” more than “take” I think most relationships would thrive. However, there are always twists and turns in life and people need to expect imperfect times, but hopefully together a couple can tackle them together without blame. I think this would go a long way for society in general, nonetheless a relationship. Cheers!
Hate to break it to you. The Government thinks you are in a common law marriage so it does not matter if you have that piece of paper or not. If you break up, you will have to deal with the same BS every other married couple deals with.
Marriage isn't that important for people without children but it's a safety net for one's with children that's mainly why people get married if you're older with an older partner and don't have kids it makes more sense to not get married so this really doesn't apply to you
I remember growing up in a society that nobody wanted to be pitied yet now we are in a society where everybody wants to be pitied more than the person they were pitying yesterday. We have a work for that and it's called pitiful so why would anybody want to be labeled as pitiful, willingly?
stop peeing in my cornflakes, you are ruining my pitty party and I can t hear the worlds smallest violin
@@NotMuchHere Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining men, Hallelluah!
@@NotMuchHere if you were looking for me to give you any fuqs; not much here 😏
I agree with your line of reasoning.
I think the problem with our generation (Millennials) and younger is we've been taught one of two things. One is we've been taught that relationships are like Disney-level fairy tales, with little to no adversity and happiness, butterflies and glowing sunshine. Two is a lot of us have divorced parents (myself included) which either means we've only seen the crappy, potentially abusive side of marriage, or if things get tough, it's better to just split and call it good.
So you have a dichotomy of two extremes. Either marriage is a wonderful, sing-songy epic romance with happy forest creatures and orchestrated music, or it's a miserable, sad, drawn out process with lots of tears and heartache in a house devoid of happiness.
In reality, it seems the ideal marriages manage to stay in the middle, like a well-maintained nuclear reactor. They're not bombastic dopamine rushes like the Disney movie, but they aren't sad, lonesome, miserable experiences where two people are just glorified roommates.
Seems to me a good marriage seems pretty plain at times, but a place of safety and reliability, where spouses make consistent efforts to surprise and uplift each other.