Tripp, once again you have spoken the truth! You have to be able to understand yourself and your own emotions before you can be a safe place for your partner. 💯
Dude... Tripp, I am so appreciative and proud you my spiritual brother for being your authentic self and being ypur purpose and calling!!! Amen!!! Love you and messages you share. Most men, especially black men are not willing to be this vulnerable. This is real stuff of life that makes it beautiful even during the storm "The Work" the process you go through to get here. No one understands until they are willing to be bare naked with themselves, no more lies and mistruths, being the authentic self is hard work to get there, but the most amazing feeling!!! ❤❤❤❤ enjoying seeing another beautiful spiritual soul🙏🏼
@@JoshMitchell116 who is God always comes back to who am I. I haven't met anyone yet, including myself, who hadn't started off looking for God only to end up in search of self. Quite a fascinating observation, I must admit.
@nanonano.beepbeep most definitely. Those two questions are forever intertwined because what comes to mind regarding God, or the idea of God, is fundamental to our self-concept. If I believe in a divine creator, letalone that all people are made in this creator's image, that colors my view of myself.
I noticed a lot of women say no to not wanting a man who doesn't feel safe enough to be emotional, but I find that many men don't feel that they can be emotional for fear that their woman would look at them as weak.
One of the rare times I disagree with Tripp..Do NOT get emotional in front of your woman, you may not hear about it in the moments right after but you most definitely will hear about it at a random time thereafter..IF she stays around..It's sad & it sucks but that's most of us men's reality.."Deletion" rates are extremely high in part because of this..
@@sidfalcon7714 majority women don't want to accept the harsh truth because it makes them look bad 😂 on the top of that they run with the same " express urself" bs n " U choose wrong woman" rebuttal... Men needs to work on their emotions by themselves or with good friends
I have 2 sons, and I love them so very much. I don't want them to hurt a woman, and I don't want a woman to hurt them. They have been taught how to handle their emotions which includes crying to release the pressure. I tell them that sometimes you can't cry in the moment because you have to handle your business, but afterward release that pressure or you'll eternalize it, and that can be dangerous for men. When my husband cried in front of me, I saw someone's son, a man hurting, someone vulnerable. I could tell that he was distressed not only by what he was going through, but at the realization that he was crying in front of me. I did what I would want a woman to do for my sons. I rubbed his back, told him that it would be ok, reassured him, and hugged him. It wasn't an issue for me because tears were given to women AND men. Nobody can be strong all of the time, and sometimes being strong for yourself is allowing yourself to be vulnerable.
@sakeenah34me Unfortunately this is not most men's reality..We do need safe spaces to vent and prevent internalization of feelings but we are almost always met with "Don't be a B***h." "Man the F up!!" among other negative connotations to men's emotions..We mostly were raised to internalize whatever we have going on and "suck it up, and move past it." I'm in my 40s so this obviously isn't going to change overnight, if at all..I do appreciate your viewpoint though sista..
@sidfalcon7714 I agree. I went down the rabbit hole of youtube and the battle between men and women, and I came to the conclusion that there are a lot of unhealed wounds. I also concluded that it starts early in childhood(unhealed parents trying to parent children all the while keeping up the same unhealthy and sometimes abusive behaviors) I can't speak for other cultures, but I have seen what you speak if in the black community. Little boys told to stifle their tears, being punched in the chest, push around, being called a girl, by both men and women who are supposed to be protecting them. I can do my part by not doing that to an adult male and by not letting anyone do it to my boys or speaking up if I see it being done to other boys. Perhaps it's too late for us older ones if we are not open to doing the work and changing negative behaviors, but for those coming up under us, there is hope. Like Tripp said, we have to parent that young child within us. I've done it. It hurt like hell, but i'm much better for it.
Heavenly Father guide me as a single mother. Both of my sons have special needs. I pray that you bless me with your love, grace, and strength, as I tirelessly care for my sons. I ask that You provide for my every need and sustain me in my daily struggles. Because Lord I’m overwhelmed struggling to pay rent each and every month struggling to buy groceries. Lord hear my prayers.
I am touching and agreeing with you I am a single mother of 2 teenage daughters and I am dealing with this same issue. God will not forsake us!! God got us!
What was described is what some would call Shadow Work…. Also, therapist usually ask to write down what you can remember starting from ages 1-3, 3-6 and so on, then they can usually guide you through what happened as a child to trigger your actions now as an adult. Insight is beautiful.
The range of this message is unreal! So thank you for sharing this because whether unknowing, or without admission, it's a necessary word for the masses.
Well said. I find it so odd that people need to learn to give their thoughts and feelings the space to breath. I understand why/how it happens it just breaks my heart that it's not something people know to do. Learning to make a safe space for and within yourself is a foundational piece for anyone who wants a true partnership.
Right...like when folks say, "she/he gotta be my peace" Learn to be your own peace and when you're ready to find a partner you'll know how to automatically vet and see the peace in a person, it'll be easy to weed out what they lack. Work on yourself first...
Excellent message my brotha! Trip definitely brings wisdom, knowledge, and understanding to our community as black people. May God continue to bless you, keep you, and elevate you in order to operate in your gifts! Thank you for what you always bring to the platform. 👊🏽🙌🏽❤
Spot on....if you can't be vulnerable with your partner....the relationship will suffer....and both party have to make the environment safe for the other to be vulnerable.....
Luvluvluv Tripp!.. we really think we can't do though.. or that it's too intense. But, we CAN DO it..we must do it to find true contentment. Thanx Tripp as always💜💪🏾💜
We need to start holding parents accountable for not teaching EQ. All those times parents used to yell, "Stop all that sniffling and crying before I give you something to really cry about!" Saying things like "Don't be soft, man up, get over it. Men don't cry. Stop being a p---y" were all very, very counterproductive to the development of good emotional intelligence. It starts at home and society simply reaffirmed the philosophy of men not opening up to others.
I think it's fair to hold people accountable for not teaching things they had reasonable opportunity to acquire as knowledge. But if they didn't have access to that knowledge due to the time they grew up or lack of resources available, then no, I won't hold them accountable. Because that's now shifting my thinking into a fantasy, instead of ackniweldging reality. They could not do, teach or be better, because they didnt have the tools. What I will do is acknowledge they did their best with what they had and what they knew. Our ancestors also had trauma that was never processed and they lived their limited lives through their traumatised minds. I'm not going to make their experiences, of lack of experiences, my personality. I now know better, so I'm responsible to do better.
You reach a certain age where you should also be held accountable. We can recognize where some parents lacked in raising their children but at what point are you old enough to fix it?
@user-zx1ii7vf2z The issue is that the tools have always been there. The Bible speaks about the dangers of provoking your children to wrath. The Bible emphasizes leading a family with love, not anger.
@jas1565 I agree with you, but the issue is that people should be made aware of the mistakes they make so that they don't repeat them. That's why you hear so many men fear marriage. They've been told by their fathers, uncles, and grandfathers not to get married. They've heard those male family members complain about their wives instead of praising their wives.
Inner stand very true Tripp….once you do that you will be able to see things not only within yourself but in others that many are unable to see even after looking in the mirror.
Most women weaponize men's emotions and look elsewhere for other needs to be met..Would it be great to feel safe enough to express themselves in the way they need to??Absolutely but part of the disconnect in our community (black) men aren't allowed to feel like this without varying levels of ridicule or emasculation..So the premise Tripp speaks on is 100% accurate the truth is this isn't occurring very often & in some cases, at all..
Everyone has a different way of communicating what's going on with them , it's told in a different way without sadness in a way that it was told to you be ready because it's a time for everything and you know by the way it was encoded in their way of thinking
That part 💯 it’s clear mother Gaia has shifted into a whole other timeline because we’re seeing all the old beliefs that stemmed from the male, men, masculinity from the 70s of the misled narrative that men aren’t supposed to cry and be sensitive is out the flucking window. A man in his humanity and divinity who expects to be a leader of a household a family and or an enterprise that can’t be vulnerable with himself and with GOD can’t lead if a woman can’t trust you with your authentic emotions how possibly can she trust you with her.
It’s how they communicate it I feel…. Because of…. I want this…: but this is happening…. And I don’t have the skills to process this differently…… what are your thoughts….. but nooooo. It’s games
how to deal with trauma is the result what happened and how those emotions effect my past life in the present moment some of the effects of trauma is that the wounds of the past keep showing up in the present so from my point it’s not so much about delving and dwelling on the past but on dealing with how the past keeps showing up in the present it doesn’t matter how many times I go back and think about my childhood story that’s not going to help me what I have to deal with is happening to me right now is the shadow of the past what’s going to help is to deal with the emotions that are arising right now
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“I have to reach in and parent that child “. I love your analogy on this. Thank you ❤
Dude is dang near a therapist out here! I appreciate that he explains without a lot of therapy speak which has been misused in popular culture.
This could not have been said any better.. Thank you for saying this..
Much appreciate and respect to you 🫡💯!!
Misused and overused.
Sounds like me in my city wit my panel of friends. Been dropping gems on my peers since 2013🤦🏿♂️
You can tell trip been to counseling, and I'm glad he's introducing that to our community that frowns on it.
Facts
I don’t comment often, but Tripp be on point so much that I have to shout him out💯🙌🏽😉
Preach and Facts Tripp Preach and Facts 🏆🐐🎯🙏❤️
Tripp, once again you have spoken the truth! You have to be able to understand yourself and your own emotions before you can be a safe place for your partner. 💯
Yes, exactly! This comment needs to be pinned.
I feel that my brother that was a blessing to hear❤
Tell em the truth 💯👏🏾👏🏾
Dude... Tripp, I am so appreciative and proud you my spiritual brother for being your authentic self and being ypur purpose and calling!!! Amen!!! Love you and messages you share. Most men, especially black men are not willing to be this vulnerable. This is real stuff of life that makes it beautiful even during the storm "The Work" the process you go through to get here. No one understands until they are willing to be bare naked with themselves, no more lies and mistruths, being the authentic self is hard work to get there, but the most amazing feeling!!! ❤❤❤❤ enjoying seeing another beautiful spiritual soul🙏🏼
AMEN!!!! Tripp always on point!
Therapy could help as well
Most definitely. And an intentional exploration of who God is
@@JoshMitchell116 who is God always comes back to who am I. I haven't met anyone yet, including myself, who hadn't started off looking for God only to end up in search of self. Quite a fascinating observation, I must admit.
Yeah, same church different pew.
@nanonano.beepbeep most definitely. Those two questions are forever intertwined because what comes to mind regarding God, or the idea of God, is fundamental to our self-concept. If I believe in a divine creator, letalone that all people are made in this creator's image, that colors my view of myself.
I noticed a lot of women say no to not wanting a man who doesn't feel safe enough to be emotional, but I find that many men don't feel that they can be emotional for fear that their woman would look at them as weak.
One of the rare times I disagree with Tripp..Do NOT get emotional in front of your woman, you may not hear about it in the moments right after but you most definitely will hear about it at a random time thereafter..IF she stays around..It's sad & it sucks but that's most of us men's reality.."Deletion" rates are extremely high in part because of this..
@@sidfalcon7714 majority women don't want to accept the harsh truth because it makes them look bad 😂 on the top of that they run with the same " express urself" bs n " U choose wrong woman" rebuttal...
Men needs to work on their emotions by themselves or with good friends
I have 2 sons, and I love them so very much. I don't want them to hurt a woman, and I don't want a woman to hurt them. They have been taught how to handle their emotions which includes crying to release the pressure. I tell them that sometimes you can't cry in the moment because you have to handle your business, but afterward release that pressure or you'll eternalize it, and that can be dangerous for men.
When my husband cried in front of me, I saw someone's son, a man hurting, someone vulnerable. I could tell that he was distressed not only by what he was going through, but at the realization that he was crying in front of me. I did what I would want a woman to do for my sons. I rubbed his back, told him that it would be ok, reassured him, and hugged him. It wasn't an issue for me because tears were given to women AND men. Nobody can be strong all of the time, and sometimes being strong for yourself is allowing yourself to be vulnerable.
@sakeenah34me Unfortunately this is not most men's reality..We do need safe spaces to vent and prevent internalization of feelings but we are almost always met with "Don't be a B***h." "Man the F up!!" among other negative connotations to men's emotions..We mostly were raised to internalize whatever we have going on and "suck it up, and move past it." I'm in my 40s so this obviously isn't going to change overnight, if at all..I do appreciate your viewpoint though sista..
@sidfalcon7714 I agree. I went down the rabbit hole of youtube and the battle between men and women, and I came to the conclusion that there are a lot of unhealed wounds. I also concluded that it starts early in childhood(unhealed parents trying to parent children all the while keeping up the same unhealthy and sometimes abusive behaviors) I can't speak for other cultures, but I have seen what you speak if in the black community. Little boys told to stifle their tears, being punched in the chest, push around, being called a girl, by both men and women who are supposed to be protecting them. I can do my part by not doing that to an adult male and by not letting anyone do it to my boys or speaking up if I see it being done to other boys. Perhaps it's too late for us older ones if we are not open to doing the work and changing negative behaviors, but for those coming up under us, there is hope. Like Tripp said, we have to parent that young child within us. I've done it. It hurt like hell, but i'm much better for it.
Heavenly Father guide me as a single mother. Both of my sons have special needs. I pray that you bless me with your love, grace, and strength, as I tirelessly care for my sons. I ask that You provide for my every need and sustain me in my daily struggles. Because Lord I’m overwhelmed struggling to pay rent each and every month struggling to buy groceries. Lord hear my prayers.
🙏🏾i’m praying for & with you.
Hold on!!
Praying for you. I can empathize with you. Hold on. God got us.
Sending hugs, love and blessings. God has you ❤
You and your sons are now in my prayers 🙏🏽
I am touching and agreeing with you I am a single mother of 2 teenage daughters and I am dealing with this same issue. God will not forsake us!! God got us!
This guy always be on point! I love him...❤❤❤❤
Realest ish I done heard. He talking to me. Fr. You got to be you and be real wit cho self! I'm still learning...
Facts!!!!!!!💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
Took me a long time to get to this place. I'm beyond grateful that I gave myself the space to learn, navigate, and feel my emotions. It is safe.
Yeah u have to know yourself first and i’m 33 and still learning bout myself
Self care is important. Tripp always on point!
What was described is what some would call Shadow Work…. Also, therapist usually ask to write down what you can remember starting from ages 1-3, 3-6 and so on, then they can usually guide you through what happened as a child to trigger your actions now as an adult. Insight is beautiful.
The range of this message is unreal! So thank you for sharing this because whether unknowing, or without admission, it's a necessary word for the masses.
We love that man
We sure do!
Well said. I find it so odd that people need to learn to give their thoughts and feelings the space to breath. I understand why/how it happens it just breaks my heart that it's not something people know to do. Learning to make a safe space for and within yourself is a foundational piece for anyone who wants a true partnership.
Right...like when folks say, "she/he gotta be my peace" Learn to be your own peace and when you're ready to find a partner you'll know how to automatically vet and see the peace in a person, it'll be easy to weed out what they lack.
Work on yourself first...
Oooooooooooooo this right here is on a whole nother level 🙌🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
A agree on it's what you are saying
Maan!! This guy here.... Mr. 🎯.... sheeeeeesh
Tripp be tripp'n (in a good way)
Come on Trippppp!! Tell them!
I agree Tripp!❤
Real shit!!!!
We should CLONE this man! Seriously.
Excellent message my brotha! Trip definitely brings wisdom, knowledge, and understanding to our community as black people. May God continue to bless you, keep you, and elevate you in order to operate in your gifts! Thank you for what you always bring to the platform. 👊🏽🙌🏽❤
You can remove the relationship part and it's still good advice for everyone.
Tripp don't miss. 🎯
Spot on....if you can't be vulnerable with your partner....the relationship will suffer....and both party have to make the environment safe for the other to be vulnerable.....
Luvluvluv Tripp!.. we really think we can't do though.. or that it's too intense. But, we CAN DO it..we must do it to find true contentment. Thanx Tripp as always💜💪🏾💜
Felt that
It's not safe to be someone like that. I'm getting more confirmation. People like that has a false sense of their own reality as well.
I am going through it's no boby care :::::::::::
Please do pray for me in this. I am certain of this being a word to me.
Facts 100% 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I needed to hear this today.
We need to start holding parents accountable for not teaching EQ. All those times parents used to yell, "Stop all that sniffling and crying before I give you something to really cry about!" Saying things like "Don't be soft, man up, get over it. Men don't cry. Stop being a p---y" were all very, very counterproductive to the development of good emotional intelligence. It starts at home and society simply reaffirmed the philosophy of men not opening up to others.
I think it's fair to hold people accountable for not teaching things they had reasonable opportunity to acquire as knowledge. But if they didn't have access to that knowledge due to the time they grew up or lack of resources available, then no, I won't hold them accountable. Because that's now shifting my thinking into a fantasy, instead of ackniweldging reality. They could not do, teach or be better, because they didnt have the tools. What I will do is acknowledge they did their best with what they had and what they knew. Our ancestors also had trauma that was never processed and they lived their limited lives through their traumatised minds. I'm not going to make their experiences, of lack of experiences, my personality. I now know better, so I'm responsible to do better.
You reach a certain age where you should also be held accountable. We can recognize where some parents lacked in raising their children but at what point are you old enough to fix it?
@user-zx1ii7vf2z The issue is that the tools have always been there. The Bible speaks about the dangers of provoking your children to wrath. The Bible emphasizes leading a family with love, not anger.
@jas1565 I agree with you, but the issue is that people should be made aware of the mistakes they make so that they don't repeat them. That's why you hear so many men fear marriage. They've been told by their fathers, uncles, and grandfathers not to get married. They've heard those male family members complain about their wives instead of praising their wives.
Inner stand very true Tripp….once you do that you will be able to see things not only within yourself but in others that many are unable to see even after looking in the mirror.
Right ✅️
That's some truth!
I am glad you coming out with that's ma message need that;;;;::::::::
Deep 😢
Most women weaponize men's emotions and look elsewhere for other needs to be met..Would it be great to feel safe enough to express themselves in the way they need to??Absolutely but part of the disconnect in our community (black) men aren't allowed to feel like this without varying levels of ridicule or emasculation..So the premise Tripp speaks on is 100% accurate the truth is this isn't occurring very often & in some cases, at all..
Speak to me lord 0:27
Men are taught how to treat women & women are taught how a man is to treat women. Do women honestly know how to treat (healed/healing) men?
Not any unhealed woman, no.
Absolutely
🔥🔥🔥🔥
Yep that inner child love so that adult live as an adult real talk. I've taken that inner child PROGRAM an it has helped me so much.
Everyone has a different way of communicating what's going on with them , it's told in a different way without sadness in a way that it was told to you be ready because it's a time for everything and you know by the way it was encoded in their way of thinking
This Good!!!
💪🏾💚
I'm sorry but I could never deal with a man who can't pour into my cup as more as I poured into them
❤❤❤❤❤❤
❤️👏👏👏
🗣🗣🗣
That part 💯 it’s clear mother Gaia has shifted into a whole other timeline because we’re seeing all the old beliefs that stemmed from the male, men, masculinity from the 70s of the misled narrative that men aren’t supposed to cry and be sensitive is out the flucking window. A man in his humanity and divinity who expects to be a leader of a household a family and or an enterprise that can’t be vulnerable with himself and with GOD can’t lead if a woman can’t trust you with your authentic emotions how possibly can she trust you with her.
Come on!!!!
Do you really want somebody to be in partnership with you that doesnt feel safe enough to be emotional with you?
It’s how they communicate it
I feel…. Because of…. I want this…: but this is happening…. And I don’t have the skills to process this differently…… what are your thoughts….. but nooooo. It’s games
Yes. I can't help you with your emotions if you're not telling me why you're crying.
💡
Yep
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
🔝✔️
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
👏🏽
Zo Williams
so who is tripp cheating on me with??? 😂
At this point to still be battling this ignorance is embarrassing
Real
Ok yOu Do nOt have A Personal TherapiSt who Else has These Conversations with (They Do nOt "care") ?
how to deal with trauma is the result what happened and how those emotions effect my past life in the present moment some of the effects of trauma is that the wounds of the past keep showing up in the present so from my point
it’s not so much about
delving and dwelling on the past but on dealing with how the past keeps showing up in the present it doesn’t matter how many times I go back and think about my childhood story that’s not going to help me what I have to deal with is happening to me right now is the shadow of the past
what’s going to help is to deal with the emotions that are arising right now