34:31 - This is powerful... "41% of all first marriages fail. 50% of all marriages fail. 60% of all second marriages, and 73% of all third marriages fail. When you come to that habit, marriage becomes cheap." My thought bubble, "The culture of romance addiction is (partly)to blame... always looking for that high, looking to be admired, or to admire instead of truly relating. A lot of healing needed for those in that kind of isolation." Thank you for this discussion.
This is wonderful. I've been going at people who complain about the necessity for annulments in the Church. If people saw marriage as a sacrament, a holy gift to be received with reverence, humility, and love, and not a wedding maybe they would trust God to help them find a husband and not a "partner". Most people are, like you said, making life altering decisions on a romance high
Went to a priest to get married. I was 4 months pregnant. The priest interviewed us separately. He came back in the end and said he wasn't marrying us because neither of us wanted to get married. I'm glad he made that decision.
marianovoa3677, condolences to your child who you, your baby daddy, and the priest forced to grow up without both parents raising him in the same house and in a marriage. Nobody who recommended against marriage in that circumstance can be said to treat marriage like it is a holy good thing. The_Catholic_Talk_Show, you said that children need to be raised in a marriage. That priest got in the way of a child being raised in a marriage by the child's biological parents. Did that priest do bad? He did the opposite of what you said.
No, the priest refused to marry two people who did not meet the requirements necessary for a sacramental marriage. In order for a crime to be prosecuted, elements of that crime must be met. In order for a sacramental marriage to take place, elements must be met. The priest refused to marry two people who weren't ready. Very simple. Read Humanae vitae. @@Hamann9631
@@Hamann9631being pregnant ss not a valid reason to get married, They can still co-parent to the child. We should understand our responsibility when we engage in premarital s3x. That act alone is a sin and should be confessed to and should be stopped. Once you gor married, it is a commitment to be in the marriage because it is a sacramental so if a party or both do not have that commitment, it is better for them not to get married. The foundation is so weak and might not be able to withstand problems through times.
@@Hamann9631 If that Priest would not allow the marriage, I believe he had good reason. That marriage most probably would have ended up in divorce, making things much worse. You and I were not there present and have no rights to make judgements.
@@bullhead900 We do have the right to make judgements about circumstances. I do not see how the possibility of a divorce should keep people from getting married. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
It would be awesome if you guys did an episode on the different orders, like the Dominicans, Franciscans etc. God bless you guys! You make every tuesday a day to look forward to!
What happens if a couple married via Catholic, but one becomes abusive or commits adultery, or is overall not a good person for the other. What is the suffering spouse to do? Just forgive and continue? Just recall my parents, and it was just a really bad situation until it was intolerable. Could the abused spouse ask for an annulment?
Abuse isn't technically grounds for divorce, though. The grounds arising from abuse would be more along the lines of the person not being whom they represented themselves to be before the marriage. To my knowledge if one person is abusive before the marriage then they would be exactly whom they represented themselves to be and it wouldn't necessarily be nullified. At least, not on the grounds of the abuse.
I’m currently going thru the annulment process after my divorce over a decade ago. This type of talk so was so cathartic for me. I laughed and cried a bit. 😩 in all honesty hearing father say he went thru the process too was everything I needed to hear. It’s so embarrassing and hard to talk about so knowing you’re not alone from someone else just meant so much to me. Thank you guys so so much for this!
My college roommate was divorced when her husband left her. She was fully committed to the marriage and did everything she could to save it. After her civil divorce, her confessor advised her to start the annulment proceedings immediately. She hesitated, as she was still in pain, raising 4 children, and believed in the validity if her Catholic marriage. The priest was practical and consoled that she would eventually meet someone and want to remarry, but would not be free to do so, without the annulment. He had seen this happen to too many good people before, that just ended up living together when they were unable to immediately marry in the Church. He also shared that the annulment processes included a great deal of prayer and discernment ( not just the formal litigation of validity if the marriage) which although painful would be healing. She followed his advice and received the annulment. After the children were raised, she is now in a second marriage, which she was able to enter into joyfully and without any hesitation.
in the 1940's my dad tried to get an annulment before he married my mom. Of course he could not get one, and he had very good grounds. Needless to say, he didn't get one, so my parents were never married in the Church. They raised us 4 kids Catholic and sent us to Catholic schools. Looking back, I wish they had taken the hint and left the Church. This is one of the big reasons many leave the Church.
For those of us that will soon enter the sacrament of marriage, I think it would be a great idea if you had a show discussing what a Catholic wedding is and how it's unique from all other ceremonies. Love the shows. Gods peace be with you.
Thank you Ryan D for talking openly about your personal situation. Personal testimony always makes abstracted topics more meaningful. And, Congratulations on finding your true marriage partner and your vocation of a Catholic marriage. Strong marriages and families is the number one way of building a better society. Praise Be.
I am a serious Catholic woman who divorced after 35 years of marriage and I do not take that lightly. That decision did not come to me easily. I did the only thing I could but that decision will weigh on me the rest of my life. Luckily I had good counsel from a Priest who was supportive through everything. That was key.
My father is a retired attorney, who practiced circa 1950-2010. Our Bishop used to bring civil divorce cases to him. My father was traditional and did not handle divorce cases as typical part of his practice. He was very involved in our local diocese, and without divulging any details , said that the Bishop was wise in these particular circumstances to recommend a civil divorce for those couples. Now many decades later, I can only speculate that there may have been physical or alcohol/drug abuse in the home, and children present for this modeling....especially since this began in the 1950s prior to the surge of common divorces in the US
@@Hamann9631 I disagree that he (or any other attorney) assisted in mortal sin. First off, divorce is not a sin. The sin comes in the form of adultary if either party enters into another sexual relationship. Secondly, civil divorce is just that - civil. What makes a marriage sacramental is the Church's blessing, which neither the attorney nor the couple is messing with. Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's.
A unjust divorce can indeed be a mortal sin. It is immoral as it introduces chaos into our society Especially it’s effects on the children. I certainly would worry about your father’s soul if I were you.
@@Lancer-y5g It is not a mortal sin to divorce a husband who is a drunkard, a drug abuser, domestic abuser-physical or verbal, gamblers, greedy, pornography users, adulterers and criminals.
Your show has brought me closer to God. I am separated. It took five years to decide to separate and I talked with several Augustine priests at the church where I was married to ask for council. Without any prompting from me, they all said that due to my husband's contempt towards me that lasted five years, that I SHOULD separate and/or divorce as it destroyed my sense of self and was affecting our children. However, during several confessions with Jesuit priests and a Legionnaire of Christ priest, they either condemned my choice or supported it. I have been left so confused and it has taken me years with the grace of the Lord and Our Holy Mother just to feel good about myself again. Funnily enough, my husband and I cohabitate in order for the children to have both of their parents (we live in a large home where he has the bottom floor, like a mini-apartment and I have the top floor and we share the communal areas) but I have fallen in love with someone else. I don't plan to marry and we are growing closer to the church together but I understand there are rules. The laws of marriage are so confusing because when your spouse neglects you on emotional, sexual and mental levels, then who is the one to break the vows? I am so confused.
Don't date when you are married. The Church laws on marriage are both clear and very beautiful. American interpretation of divorce, and annulments is very bad. I would only respect an appeal to Rome to give me anything close to moral certainty. My diocese is an absolute annulment factory. Even the defender of the bond encourages remarriage!
Thank you for this much needed information. It shouldn’t be so easy to get married, people should be obligated to know all this prior to even picking a wedding date! I have to wonder if they’d be less divorces if people actually really understood the sacrament marriage and were actually practicing Catholics.
People need to know this before starting to "date." We don't seek companions for recreation. We seek them for procreation if we are young enough and in all cases for mutual SALVATION. We should be joining together to grow in virtue. The failure rate is so high in America because of the idea of dating to fall in love and then hopefully get married. NO, have the hard discussion before you let romantic feelings blur your vision. Keep touching to a minimum and no prolonged embraces or kisses. This is the path that leads to destruction. We are too permissive in the US. I deeply regret the leniency I was told was ok, and that was limited to embracing and kissing but all too passionately, and that dating was an exploration with multiple people, either at the same time or serially. If you like each other and you're on the same page in terms of values and life goals, get betrothed, which means setting a date, get into Marriage prep classes and go to the altar. Do not postpone the sacrament to get the right venue, gown and other frou-frou. It's absurd to wait 8 months for a dress.
You should have Leila Miller on - she wrote a book called "Primal Loss - the Adult Children of Divorce Speak." She also wrote a book on saving marriages.
The children of divorce certainly suffer. But Leila Miller entirely blames wives for all divorces and exonerates husbands and the common male vices. She is a wicked misogynist.
I really love the traditions of the Catholic Church and I do agree that divorce is a bad thing but sometimes Human frailty makes it impossible for a marriage to stay together my friend was married to a abusive alcoholic they made her remain in the marriage and or suggested that she can get divorced but never remarry but in order to cut tides and remain safe she decided to divorce I believe she remarried but she had asked for an annulment from the first marriage they did not granted so she got excommunicated the first husband eventually died because of his alcoholism and believe it or not the second husband stayed through many trials and tribulations never faltering in his love for her I wish there would’ve been a way for her to remain part of the church
Upon further studies I have found that cooperation in marriage and disagreement upon children and other moral issues as well as mental illness alcoholism abuse kidnapping and my many other issues can be a valid reason for a divorce within the church if there is no way to work it out and all conditions are met for granting an annulment. I am no fan of divorce and or annulment for frivolous reasons however and upon my studies I find that it is logical the way the criteria is set up for granting annulment and or civil divorce and then the church annoying the marriage. I feel this statement needs to be made so nobody believes that I am against the teachings of Christ.I had to do much study to understand this issue as well as other issues the Baltimore catechism the Council of Trent and many other writings could help in this area
@@etcwhatever One of the issues when going for an annulment is that for the most part both parties must take part in the process and this is probably why my friends annulment was not granted both parties must take part in the process much like our court system. Unless they are not married in the church.There was A canon lawyer that explained the process in many steps and very concise the Baltimore catechism and books on canon law could help with this.At the time when I asked this question I didn’t know or have full understanding of the process
@@etcwhatever Unfortunately my friend has strayed away from the church I’ve sent her some of these online discussions and other videos supporting Catholic teaching as well as to other people at this time hopefully it does some good somewhere I think it’s good for one friend
@@carissahanson9887 that is terrible. In civil divorce it can go ahead even if one of the people dont agree to it. In eclesiastic annulment they should try to rule marriage validity even if one of the people dont cooperate
So do these rubber stamped annulments that are granted 98% of the time through American tribunals, how about these Catholic families that have 6 kids and have been married for 20 years or more!
@@johnsteiner2960 Exactly! I am beginning to think that the Church thinks literally no-one can become married. They admit it also, the question was about whether annulments are given out more today than before: "Only in the sense that in the past few decades the Tribunals have come to a better understanding of the workings of the human heart and mind. This has been gained through the development of modern psychology which shows that some people have not “grown up” sufficiently by the time of their wedding to appreciate what is entailed in so serious a commitment as marriage. This does not mean, of course, that the couple should be able to foresee all the snags in a particular marriage. It means that where there is a GROSS lack of appreciation or evaluation of the proposed marriage so that there is an enormous gap between the party’s Consent and the reality of the lifelong commitment to another human being, there can be no marriage"
Spicy topic folks. Thanks for being a voice of clarity in a sea of confusion. However, claiming we're on a good trajectory with Francis on this issue is a bold claim. If I'm divorced and remarried I'm openly living in mortal sin and likely doing so unrepentantly. Clearly all these "divorced" (impossible) and "remarried" (impossible since if the original marriage was annulled there is no "remarried" that's possible) Catholics got married under the pretence that the marriage was legitimate after they went through prep. If a couple went through marriage prep and the priest is unable to discern that the couple should get married we have a failure among the clergy (people and circumstances change ... fair enough ... no one disputes legitimate examples). Offering communion to those in a state of mortal sin is concerning because there's no real mechanism in the Church to absolve someone of this issue through the sacrament of confession since there's likely no intention to terminate the second marriage and return to their legitimate spouse and cease adultery. I get that there's legitimate reasons why annulments are necessary and no one disputes that ... but these seems like rare cases. Annulment can be stretched to fit any case but it seems we agree this is totally inappropriate despite being a "pastoral point". Annulments are a farcical process in practise (not in theory) since something like over 95% of annulments are approved. Here's my 2 cents ... those generations that where not getting divorced ... they were not provided with abundant "pastoral care" ... rather ... they had a developed sense of the sacramental union. We're lacking clarity and bold catechism... not "care". We live in an era of abundant care and ignorance.
Whoever sets his wife aside...and she remarries..forced her into adultery. Divorce is such a TOUGH topic People aren't created to be alone, and when the closeness of a marriage ends, many end up in "adulterous " relationships because of the deep loneliness. It is a real pastoral issue to pastor people not to live in mortal sin, but to equally guide with deep compassion and wisdom. Honestly, I often think that we, the laity, are often more close to the front edge of our friends and family, in helping to cut off disasters before they occur. We often have "hints" and are in better position to love and guide (before or after marriage).
@@deborahdunn9951 . "many end up in adulterous relationships because of the deep loneliness" I appreciate that suffering is real and clearly your statement is true of many situations. However, comiting acts of adultury as a means of eliminting temporal suffering is not a Catholic solution. We have no pastoral care that JUSTIFIES adultary. We want to protect and heal everyone including those who have commited acts of adultary but the solution is ALWAYS to repent and cease living in sin. We do not condone adultary or any sin for that matter on the basis of care. The goal is always the elimination of sin. Granted, some people need to be weened off (this is the place of pastoral care) but ultimatly adultary is totally unacceplable and required repentance. We're called to be saints. "forced her into adultery" this is simply untrue and deeply defeatist. "People aren't created to be alone" monks manage and so do countless saints, you're discounting the value of chastity.
Sorry if I wasn't clear. I don't condone adultery. It is a mortal sin. True, many people can and do live chaste lives. (BTW myself included, as a member of a lay organization) . I think we both know that all humans were not created with the same gifts and charisms. I believe that the insight contained in the paraphrased quote..." forced into adultery ". is an acknowledgment that man was not created to be alone. That deep human drve in the human heart calls out for proper pastoral guidance. It's not defeatist to recognize and wish to address this. But I think we were actually agreeing on that. I also think that family and friends, are often closer to situations, can anticipate what may be coming down the pike, and try to help before the stress of difficult situation leads to poor life choices. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear. I do not think we're saying anything different in terms of church teaching. But only perhaps a different approach in how we witness the truths in the Catholic church.
There are eleventy-three thousand invalid annulments in the 🇺🇸 US. All those remarried couples are gonna have to answer to God in the end. There is a lot of information out there about the phonyness of annulments. It's called, THE ANNULMENT ABUSE CRISIS IN THE UNITED STATES CATHOLIC CHURCH. The abuse started and ran parallel to (or along side of) the sexual revolution. The annulments are crap, and the victims who remain faithful to their vows are called "standers".
@@Oliveoil91661 The remarried couples who were granted an annulment will not answer to God... the Authority of the church will. We can rest assured that anything that is "loosed on earth is loosed in Heaven" by the keys that were given the His Church. Even if it is not God's Will for a couple to nullify their marriage, if the Church gives Her Authority to do so, the two people can be sure they are safe to remarry. It is like if a priest in mortal sin says mass, Jesus still shows up in the Eucharist.
@@clairemeanslight8627 I still have to respectfully disagree. I won't be answering any more about this, but please reply if you like. I'm not ignoring you. I just have little time to allow for extended conversations. Stay well. ........ [Invalid annulments] are "the beginning of the end of the catholic Church in America." ~ Fr. John Hardon. ........He has received faculties for canonization. We have all kinds of crosses. There are many, many divorced Catholics who are called "standers". They carry a cross that would crush the 'crosses' of the annulled and remarried, as they/we stay true to our vows. RE Mary's Advocates; Save Our Sacrament; #Lukesixteeneighteen; The Ruth Institute; etc
WHAT about when the partner who leaves the marriage and re-marries and will not co-operate with the original partners desire to try to get their original marriage annulled.?
I am going through the process right now (actually my husband is trying to get the annulment). His ex wife is very much against it, but the tribunal says the process will go forward regardless of whether she cooperates or not. In fact, the contestation itself may provide more evidence in favor of the finding of nullity.
I am in a similar situation. I’m converting to Catholicism. I was divorced, my husband died. I’ve been married to my current husband 28 years. He was previously married, now he has to get an annulment. I don’t think his ex will do it. I’m just praying this all goes smoothly. 🙏🙏
I am evangelical but I agree alot with the catholic view of marriage, I would call marriage a mystery (Musterion in the greek), not a sacrament as Jerome translated the term into Latin, but in theory it is still very solid, as it understand very well the indissoluble nature of it. However the annulment system is now extremely abused which defeats the purpose of it all.
As a recently-degreed canon lawyer, I really appreciate this episode. Encouraging people to seek a declaration of nullity and getting the word out there that this can be a helpful and healing process is something the Church needs nowadays. It's part of helping the marriage situation as a whole, in my mind. One thing I'd just like to add to the discussion is a clarifying comment about the Pauline and Petrine privileges. Before I was a student, these did not make much sense to me. What was the rationale? How could the Church say that marriage is indissoluble yet dissolve a valid, consummated marriage? Well, it clicked and made sense when in class we made one important distinction. There is a difference between *extrinsic* and *intrinsic* indissolubility. Intrinsic/relative indissolubility means that neither the parties nor any other human power can dissolve the marriage. Since it is not the minister who marries the spouses but rather the spouses who marry each other (as y'all mentioned), it is the spouses alone who could even in theory dissolve the marriage; but since marriage is the relationship where the parties who contract it say "I won't ever dissolve this," they've renounced even their ability to dissolve it. Hence, no human power can dissolve an intrinsically indissoluble marriage. But God can, if he so chooses. So an intrinsically indissoluble marriage is dissolvable by God alone. Extrinsic/absolute indissolubility also means that no human power can dissolve the marriage, but that God also will not dissolve it, and indeed will give it the necessary graces to endure. And it's this added layer of extrinsic indissolubility that makes a sacramental marriage properly sacramental. The Church teaches that only sacramental marriage is a sign of Christ and the Church - non-sacramental marriage (natural marriage) is not. Why? Because although natural marriages are intrinsically indissoluble, it is extrinsically DISsoluble. Since the marriage between Christ and the Church is extrinsically INdissoluble, it takes another extrinsically indissoluble relationship to be able to signify it in the first place. Hence, the Catechism says (as was read in the podcast) that Christ "raised marriage among the baptized to the level of a sacrament." Using our new terms, this basically means he makes what is ordinarily only intrinsically indissoluble to be extrinsically indissoluble too. It's a completely new kind of bond, one that can now image and signify the extrinsically indssoluble relationship between Christ and the Church. And so, for the Pauline and Petrine privileges, this is the Church recognizing that Christ gave her His power to dissolve valid, natural marriages. The power to bind and loose. However, it would be against prudence for the Church to just dissolve valid natural bonds without good reason. Historically, stipulations have been given that one must meet, in order for the Church to be okay with dissolving it. Thus, Paul says it can be permitted when one converts and the spouse leaves on account of the person's newfound faith. Then over time, new situations arose in which the Church basically said, "sure, we'll dissolve that too. That's a good reason that we haven't thought of before." All these other "newer" reasons are lumped together and named the so-called Petrine Privilege, which is more accurately called a dissolution "in favor of the faith." So, there ya go! Hope that clarifies things. Keep up the good work, y'all are reaching lots of souls.
"Encouraging people to seek a declaration of nullity and getting the word out there that this can be a helpful and healing process is something the Church needs nowadays." No just No!!! Please Explain.
@@johnnotrealname8168 What I mean is that for most Catholics who get divorced, seeking a declaration of nullity isn't even on their radar. They just get "re"-married and put themselves in a state of concubinage and sin. Encouraging people to seek declarations of nullity, whether or not the nullity of their marriage is actually proven, should absolutely be done more often in order to avoid the above situation. We both no doubt agree that if a Catholic gets divorced civilly, they should seek a declaration of nullity especially if they think they want to pursue a relationship with someone else in the future.
@Frances Your pessimism can lead you in two directions: 1) Tribunals are frivolously "handing out annulments" when they shouldn't be, or 2) marriage is so broken nowadays that in all matter of fact, most marriages that Tribunals get are actually invalid. I tend to think the truth is a combination of both, to the exclusion of neither. It's a both/and, not an either/or. I do also think it's unfair of you to lump all "American Tribunals" under one banner. I know for a fact there are some who are aware of the problem and are consciously trying to avoid it, myself being one of them. And that is what I was taught in school, so hopefully you can find some comfort in that.
@@johnnotrealname8168 yeah, definitely agre. Also....yep haha sorry. TH-cam notifications are not the best and I'm only just now seeing this because someone else recently commented.
Not to be rude but this is literally the textbook definition of semantics. It’s even in these guys language (“my previous marriage”) who say they were married but then say they were never actually married. My question is: what is that thing called that you “annulled” if it wasn’t a marriage?
Thank You! The Church actually changed the grounds for annulment. I thought it was the radical-traditional lot who went on about it but this was in response to a question on whether they are approved more nowadays: "Only in the sense that in the past few decades the Tribunals have come to a better understanding of the workings of the human heart and mind. This has been gained through the development of modern psychology which shows that some people have not “grown up” sufficiently by the time of their wedding to appreciate what is entailed in so serious a commitment as marriage. This does not mean, of course, that the couple should be able to foresee all the snags in a particular marriage. It means that where there is a GROSS lack of appreciation or evaluation of the proposed marriage so that there is an enormous gap between the party’s Consent and the reality of the lifelong commitment to another human being, there can be no marriage."
I’m going through this experience right now I was married in 2008 my ex was military and was overseas I decided to become Catholic at the time of marriage we both did not have a religion and my ex was baptized but really dedicated under the salvation army which the Catholic Church does not recognize I was not baptized then became Catholic so I’m going through a poly line I believe I’m saying this right going through the Catholic Church as we speak and my ex is uncooperative and He been married now for the third time and I have not remarried at all but engaged to be married And I spoke with my priest and it’s been 13 years and I straight away from the church because I was ashamed and scared because we were divorced civilly and I did confession and Pentance some years ago but wanted to get back in full grace and communion with the church and I’m on the pathway to doing so🙏🙏🙏
What is the churches position when you have a good marriage, but many years later the wife becomes abusive and commits adultery. Can that marriage be annulled?
any marriage between any male and female, under any culture, is a valid marriage.....one has to ask how many who convert to the Catholic faith....are ask to renew their vows or separate, and I dont think that this happens....
Me and my wife got a civil wedding first. Then we got married in the Catholic Church. The reason we did it like that the ins was trying to send my wife back to the Philippines so after the Civil wedding we got father Terry and he married is after we did our confessions. Because we're running out of time the sit-ins we had to file the paperwork she's American citizen and she's from the Philippines we've been married for 17 years
17:00 Huh? So, that priest encouraged you to live in sin?! That makes no sense. That is anti-marriage to discourage people already doing married people's things from getting married.
I know this is random; but often when you are asking some questions the camera man pulls back and the Jesilus bobble head is shaking his head up and down AND; the other bobble heads remain perfectly still. I don't mean to heretical; but it cracks me up, but the truth is that the right answer is Yes!!
What if my life was at jeopardy? The priest stated to me that Gid didn’t want me to be a door mat nor put myself in danger ( which I was. Guns were involved). Yet the NM archdioceses did not grant me an annulment. Because I couldn’t afford to pay for it. I’m involved with a God fearing man who trusts God with all his heart. He leads with God in mind. We have been apart because he is stuck in an Arabian country. We said vows to each other twice and keep saying them often. Until an annulment is done … how is our vows different from saying them by a judge in court? We both want a catholic marriage but can’t until I get an annulment. We have abstained from sex so far because of this. However, this is part of a relationship that makes it beautiful. We have began together for over 8 years. What do you suggest?
If you had kids, you manifestly had capacity and due discretion to consent, because the object of consent is only the conjugal act. These tribunals are operating on an illegal definition of consent.
Annulments now are given like candy! This is hilarious all the excuses you mentioned to get annulments just say if you’re a person and breathing you qualify for an annulment!
It has ruined the concept of Catholic marriage. I am looking at the application and reasoning and I cannot but think that whoever has gotten married ever has done so with an invalid marriage. It is a scandal! "Only in the sense that in the past few decades the Tribunals have come to a better understanding of the workings of the human heart and mind. This has been gained through the development of modern psychology which shows that some people have not “grown up” sufficiently by the time of their wedding to appreciate what is entailed in so serious a commitment as marriage. This does not mean, of course, that the couple should be able to foresee all the snags in a particular marriage. It means that where there is a GROSS lack of appreciation or evaluation of the proposed marriage so that there is an enormous gap between the party’s Consent and the reality of the lifelong commitment to another human being, there can be no marriage."
I just fail to understand why I had to get a divorce and go through the terrible process but because someone marries in the Baptist church they were never married and don’t need to divorce.
No, they're two different types of law (one civil and one canonical). You may get a civil union/divorce, but it doesn't affect the sacramental side of a canonical marriage/annulment. So couples may end up doing both because they want to be sacramentally united in marriage and also enjoying the rights that civil law offers them.
I got married outside of the grace of the church and couldn't take communion for almost 20 years. The divorce came from the spouse after her leaving. And I take responsibility for that. But now 3 years later, what I have an issue with is the times of being alone. The one thing the divorce did was bring me back to the faith. I try never to miss communion now that I can receive it. What I struggle with is understanding about dating, how to fight off the moments of depression, and to be honest how to fight the desire to be married again.
I believe that Matthew 19:29 allows for divorce if you leave all for God. Matthew 19:29 New International Version 29 “And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife[a] or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.” Please advice if I am misinterpreting this. God bless you!
1. Did all that marriage prep class run by the Catholic. 2. I knew marriage was forever. Look like to me he(my x) thought that too. 10 years later, I discovered he started to have an affair with another woman. He left to be with her. So why doesn't the catholic church accept adultery as a reason for annulment? Why is the committed partner who was betrayed by the husband or wife, be a sinner for having to move on? No choice of their own. Annulment is expensive and may not be given. I believe our God can not be that mean to label all divorcees as sinners. Due to no fault of your own. God was a witness to every lie, deceitful act, and betrayal my x husband acted towards me and our marriage. I don't think God would frown on me having to move on for something out of my control, God wouldn't want me to suffer a lonely life due to another man's sin and God was witness to my truth, not some tribunal run by human beings to send me free to remarry. I feel God has blessed me with a second chance at a 2nd marriage. It's not even right to call my second husband a sinner because I don't have an annulment, only a civil divorce. He never caused the break-up. Ryan is a divorcee. But he did not sin because he never married his first wife in the catholic church. God would see marriage in all religions, and civil in the world as sacred. I think God would have been upset with Ryan's divorce too. Ryan married in a baptist church first marriage, so I guess the Catholic church is saying non-Catholics OR Catholics who marry in other churches or civil are not real marriages so God doesn't recognise it. So they are not a sinner. Only a Catholic church marriage is recognised by God.(Looks like most of the world are in fake marriages and sinners).So if you, unfortunately, unfortunately married in a catholic church and ended up in divorce for being cheated on we will give no communion, and label you a sinner too. This could be a big reason why the catholic church has lost many good past members of the catholic church. Because the church make catholic divorcees feel bad and unwelcomed by the church even when no fault of their own. I was enjoying this channel until I saw this video. Made me feel upset and angry at the catholic church. My God is not unkind like the catholic church rulers
Please pray for my wife and I to fix our marriage she filled for divorce and I love her dearly but she says she doesn’t, we have 4 kids and have been together for 13 years and I’m pretty sure our Priest said that she could get our marriage annulled and I don’t know why he would say that. When I thought we should always try to work on our marriages and get through anything and I believe we both took the same vows we’re both Catholic and i feel crushed
The Inquisition is a method of legal proceedings developed (not created) in the Middle-Ages. The body which tries the individual is the same person who investigates the person. Continental Europe today has such a method I believe. This is opposed to the Anglo-American model in which the investigating body is different from the judicial body.
Thank you so much. I needed this so much! I have a really good protestant friend that doesn't understand. I had to get an annulment from an extremely physically, emotionally, religiously, and sexually abusive "marriage" that was not healthy for the children, and now she's considering the same, for the same reasons, but fears that she can't be civilly divorced and still please God and if she did she could never marry again for fear of being an adulteress. In my situation I was going to a protestant church due to my "husband's" beliefs and the women I went to for help told me it was my fault because I wasn't submissive enough although I was extremely submissive, and this is my friend's current situation. I really want her to see that there are good reasons to consider why she may be free to not only get herself and her children to safety, but also hope for God to send her a true husband someday, as I hope he does for me. Again thank you so much for this video and I appreciate any prayers anyone may offer for her and myself and both our children. Thank you so much!
1) Do you think that not being open to children is a valid reason for an annulment? 2) a wife has a long-time male friend at the time of marriage. She does not tell her husband that she had an intimate relationship with that friend before marrying her husband but husband knew she and he were friends. She remains friends with the former secret lover and eventually decides to end her marriage to be with him. But, after 2 years of her adultery, the extramarital relationship ends. The marriage has understandably fallen apart. Valid grounds for annulment?
I looked into annulment and was unhappy to read that it means the marriage never took place when annulled. How does the church deal when there are children? Are they not part of the family? Are they then bastards?
That is civil-legal annullment. Catholic Annullment of the Sacrament of Marriage is strictly about both parties intentions & understanding of the requirements to undertake the Sacramental Vows.
So after the nulity has been declared in the affirmative does a couple have to go thru a divorce civilly or is the nullification enough for them to move on to seek a new bond?
Lol! I really enjoy the thinking paradoxically catch me question of the man’s widow. I’m looking at my last supper picture as if he’s stumped them again. Keep up the good work and God Bless all of you for your openness.
My wife is from the Philippines I'm American was not raised Catholic went through all my confessions before we got married do not know what I believe when I join the Catholic Church. Me and my wife got married 2006 Augusta Catholic Church going to other churches because I was raised Baptist I came back to the Catholic Church I went to the rectory a nasty lady in the office what must I do to come back to the temperature she says you need to talk to the priest make confession make confession she also says go to TH-cam Catholic coming home and that was a very good testimonies that I listen to. My wife never left me I used to drop my wife off at the Catholic Church go to my own church. So now my wife stays home from Mass while I go to Mass because she didn't like when I left the church but now I've been back 9 months to the Catholic Church I'm praying someday she will go to mass. We never got a divorce never been separated I wish I came back sooner to the church. Didn't know what I believed the Catholic Church teaches had all my classes so I took the classes again online one of the reasons I did not understand what the Catholic Church teaches because I have a disability I'm covered under Ada disability yet mild retardation. I have learned so much listen to father Mike.
Me and my wife are Catholic even though we did it backwards did the Civil wedding first in the Catholic wedding because I did not want the ins sent her back to the Philippines
When they gave statistics about people getting divorced, they were counting your relationship (the man on the left) as a marriage because it was a marriage.
I'm age 67 been married for 17 years we can have a camp wedding and the kids or baptized confirm every one of our kids or baptized we held up all our responsibilities as parents
I was not married in the church. I divorced because he was cheating on me, my parents caught him with the woman while I was serving our country. They were married 65 years in the Catholic Church. I did not date for 18 years because I remain committed to the marriage he however is on wife #4. I have tried to date a couple of times but it never works out. I talk to my priest and he said that because my first husband died and because I have remained faithful to the marriage that I can receive the Eucharist.
You should have stay at your house making it into home for him instead going out and competing against men in the workforce. Sounds like your the problem in the marriage. Feminism is a lie.
When me and my wife got married my wife was Catholic and I was a Catholic too but not practicing. So when we got married we thought I had a civil wedding. After that we went and got a Catholic wedding. The reason we had a civil wedding first before the Catholic wedding. Because the ins was trying to send my wife back to the Philippines. I've been back to the Catholic church for 9 months now I have not Miss any Mass since I came back
I wondered about when Jesus was talking about divorce in Matthew, in that he was talking specifically to men. But are the rules for divorce different for a woman?
I have commented a few times on this video. I am going through the annulment process for a convalid marriage. 80% of divorces are initiated by women. We can discuss ideals all day long; but at the end of the day women are the weak link in the marriage. Thinking emotionally and needing constant validation with most couples themselves products of divorce, feminism and sexual liberty are a part of the sin that destroy marriages. Most men will never marry nor even get a second look from women. They are "too nice". I must admit, after divorce and getting served divorce papers for "irreconcilable differences " I dove into scripture and Redhill content. The societal confines of expected behavior along with easy access to sex for most women (90% or greater are not virgins at marriage) as well as the idealism promoted by our Church, most women are leading secret lives before vows are taken. For devout Catholic men it is very hard to find a single 20 something to be virtuous and chaste. To most women competing for top earners with establish led lives and income, women learn to get what they want through sex. I am glad this is being discussed, but these guys are using ideals as opposed to understanding women from a biological and emotional stance. Much if my understanding is validated through experience and reading Redhill content. The Church can only do so much and there are only so many women are virtuous enough to be and stay married.
25:50. It was beautiful to hear about that couple who got back together after a long time, but there are other beautiful stories. I think it is more beautiful if a couple living in sin stop living in sin. I think it is more beautiful when a person who had a terrible first marriage finds a happy second marriage.
What about when both partners were atheists when married (not in Church), and one of them later converted to Catholicism (Roman) and wants a civil divorce because of neglect and abuse?
The Church grants annulments. You massage the word "annulment" to make it more appealing. But, in reality, annulment petitions are granted.... actually rubber-stamped.
I can't tell if this was brought up, or if I'm just not understanding it fully. But can a divorcee that did not want to get divorced get remarried? If they were against the divorce but the other party wouldn't back off, can that person re-marry?
No, not even in the worst imaginable scenario. Say a loving, faithful wife gets physically beaten and cheated on by her husband, so long as they entered into a valid marriage at the moment they exchanged vows, she is not free to remarry.
@@mn22286 Question: Is it a sin to divorce a spouse who is physically and emotionally abusive, after many attempts at resolving the behavior in couple's therapy have failed? Answer: No, it is not a sin to divorce such a spouse. The Code of Canon Law states: A spouse who occasions grave danger of soul or body to the other or to the children, or otherwise makes the common life unduly difficult, provides the other spouse with a reason to leave, either by a decree of the local ordinary [e.g., bishop] or, if there is danger in delay, even on his or her own authority. (CIC 1153) The canon does go on to state that once such a danger has passed, common life should be restored, but given the unique difficulties of abuse cases (e.g., promises to reform are all too often broken), an abused spouse may wish to allow an independent specialist such as a priest or a psychologist to determine if and when it is safe to resume common life. The Church considers civil divorce in such cases to be the ecclesial equivalent of a legal separation and tolerates civil divorce sought for just cause (such as to ensure personal safety and/or the safety of children) to settle estate and child custody arrangements. The divorced person is still considered validly married and may not remarry in the Church unless and until an annulment is granted. - www.catholic.com/qa/is-divorce-a-sin-when-ones-spouse-is-abusive
I had to divorce my abusive alcoholic husband because he was abusive to our 5 children. He wouldn't leave and would not divorce me. I had to leave him and our home for the sake of my kids. I was hoping he would see the light but never did. He lost everything house business and family. He's still an alcoholic and rarely sees the kids or even talks to them. I remarried after 8 years to a Catholic who fell away from the church due to his divorce from his ex wife who was a gambler and abusive to his children..I wanted to get an an annulment and marry my 2nd husband in the church but he feels that all the church wants is the 500 dollars. Should I still get the annulment for my sake and hope someday he'll want to get married in church?
Do him a favor and stay single. Why should he pick your baggage and have to raise another man's seed? Why should he have all the responsibility of YOUR kids but no authority over them? Pretty $tupid idea.
Exactly! I am not even a radical-traditionalist but they changed the rules to allow rubber-stamping, I thought the Church had a beautiful view on marriage, it did, however this is ridiculous! I am not even sure anyone ever could be married according to the standards the Church now applies: "Only in the sense that in the past few decades the Tribunals have come to a better understanding of the workings of the human heart and mind. This has been gained through the development of modern psychology which shows that some people have not “grown up” sufficiently by the time of their wedding to appreciate what is entailed in so serious a commitment as marriage. This does not mean, of course, that the couple should be able to foresee all the snags in a particular marriage. It means that where there is a GROSS lack of appreciation or evaluation of the proposed marriage so that there is an enormous gap between the party’s Consent and the reality of the lifelong commitment to another human being, there can be no marriage."
I think Jesus meant that the divorces allowed by Moses were never exactly valid. He allowed it because he knew there needed to be some kind of rules because people just weren't gonna listen. It's like Moses made that rule disappointedly and the people just ignored the disappointment and used it as justification
I am considering converting to Catholicism but I am divorced and remarried. I’ve been married for almost 11 years. My first husband has been remarried twice, and is very happy. I am happy in my marriage. Can I become a Catholic
@@CatholicTalkShow Thank you! I guess take these as ideas. After all you guys might not want to make videos on more than one of the topics: (No order) 1. Are images of Jesus wrong? Why is Jesus portrayed as white? (You guys could shows how Christ is not only seen as white in art) 2. Why did God allow slavery in the bible? Why didn't Jesus not allow it? 3. Was mother theresa evil? (You can look up what Christopher Hitchens said about her) 4. How can catholics bible study? When they're outside of the church. Alone and with others. 5. How can catholics evangelize to family and others? What about to anti-catholic family and people?
"𝑴𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝑮𝒐𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝑶𝒖𝒓 𝑳𝒐𝒓𝒅." [Messge of Mother to Jacinta before her hideous death at the age of 9 in 1920] You only wed another for HIM to be one in HIM more. Always seeking HIM to be HIM more. Not find happiness in another.
And it's not just getting married in the Catholic Church. Also making a promise to bring your children up to be Catholic and baptized the confirmation and confirm I made all this promises when I married my wife even though it was a civil wedding first then we got married in the temperature
We have been married for over 50 years. We were baptized and married in a protestant church, then converted to Catholicism. The Catholic church offers recognition to long married couples but not to us….
Jesus rejected Moses' concession for divorce. He raised Marriage back to what God intended. Separation (civil divorce being tolerated under circumstances addressed in canon law) while respecting the marriage bond.
I'm southren Baptist. I, use to go to a catholic church for many years. Any way a sin is a sin. I'm still married but my wife chose to live with another man. and she was the one that cheated on me and committed Adultry while being married to me. She wants a devoice but like the bible says about devoices. I'm not filing for a devoice she will have to do that. I, did by law I did file for a separation my wife today is living with another man. Me I live by myself. I, can forgive my wife but I don't trust her.
Let's be honest, most annulments are a lie. How do you annul 15+ years, several children, pets, house, cars, stuffs? Whoever is passing out these annulments like candy will have to answer for it. They're not fooling Jesus.
I have a question. Assuming there is 3 parties involved in a marriage. If one person doesn't want to get divorced and the other more or less forces them....why is that person punished? I can see the one wanting the divorce to be punished but not the one who didn't want the divorce. Also God is involved there. If person one is truly giving their most, how is it right that God doesn't but tells you you can't get a divorce? He could literally appear to the person but doesn't. This question I can't answer but I know tons of people who left because of this. (thankfully I haven't experienced this)
Seems fairly likely that there at least might be a case for attemptimg annulment, at least if it can be shown the other person had this possibility in mind at the time or did not intend to remain committed for life. I do not know much on this topic to be honest. As for the second question, God is present, for all things. I think what you meant is why does our Lord not manifest Himself physically in such a situation? Obviously zlI can not read the mind of our Creator, so this is merely my assessment for what the reason might be. This mattee is in part linked to the question why does He not appear to every act of serious evil. In part, this would impede our free will as God appearing would essentially remove anyone to either deny He exists and thus to not worship Him. In short, it would be not a matter of faith, but merely the logical thing to do then to follow Him. The potential to learn to trust in God with your whole being is greater when you must work towards it. In short, God would essentially be forcing Himself upon people by doing something in that manner consistently. That is not to say God is not present, one can and ought to always pray to Him in these and all matters. I hope that helps, God bless you.
@@LostArchivist I agree with the the annulment possibility but like these guys said it doesn't always happen, As for the second part I have kinda thought that but it didn't seem like a good answer to give them. That was an extreme example. I think the bigger point was that they felt like they were putting in their all and the big man wasn't.
@@KethenGoesHam in cases where the two people cannot come together to agree to stay together or to take an annulment a separation is permitted all that means is that that person must remain celibate. If you have issues you can go to your bishop and speak to him or if you have friends with those issues you can do that there are some reasons where annulment is permissible or divorce is not permissible there are certain criteria that must be met I don’t remember all of them because I’m not a canon lawyer I just watched a two hour course on it.Some people don’t marry with the right intentions so receiving help from somebody that can explain it all and even for your friends that have left might help
7:40. Wow. You claimed to follow Jesus Christ's teachings. Jesus authorized "putting away" which is a King James 1611 way of saying, "divorce". The King James Translation uses the phrase, "fornication" to describe the activity which authorized DIVORCE.
34:31 - This is powerful... "41% of all first marriages fail. 50% of all marriages fail. 60% of all second marriages, and 73% of all third marriages fail. When you come to that habit, marriage becomes cheap." My thought bubble, "The culture of romance addiction is (partly)to blame... always looking for that high, looking to be admired, or to admire instead of truly relating. A lot of healing needed for those in that kind of isolation." Thank you for this discussion.
I really appreciate your insight here. It very succinctly explains the state of our culture’s struggle
This is wonderful. I've been going at people who complain about the necessity for annulments in the Church. If people saw marriage as a sacrament, a holy gift to be received with reverence, humility, and love, and not a wedding maybe they would trust God to help them find a husband and not a "partner". Most people are, like you said, making life altering decisions on a romance high
@@chibikeugbam5247 Honestly the degree to which the process has been laxed is shocking. Annulments should be rare.
Went to a priest to get married. I was 4 months pregnant. The priest interviewed us separately. He came back in the end and said he wasn't marrying us because neither of us wanted to get married. I'm glad he made that decision.
marianovoa3677, condolences to your child who you, your baby daddy, and the priest forced to grow up without both parents raising him in the same house and in a marriage. Nobody who recommended against marriage in that circumstance can be said to treat marriage like it is a holy good thing.
The_Catholic_Talk_Show, you said that children need to be raised in a marriage. That priest got in the way of a child being raised in a marriage by the child's biological parents. Did that priest do bad? He did the opposite of what you said.
No, the priest refused to marry two people who did not meet the requirements necessary for a sacramental marriage. In order for a crime to be prosecuted, elements of that crime must be met. In order for a sacramental marriage to take place, elements must be met. The priest refused to marry two people who weren't ready. Very simple. Read Humanae vitae. @@Hamann9631
@@Hamann9631being pregnant ss not a valid reason to get married, They can still co-parent to the child. We should understand our responsibility when we engage in premarital s3x. That act alone is a sin and should be confessed to and should be stopped. Once you gor married, it is a commitment to be in the marriage because it is a sacramental so if a party or both do not have that commitment, it is better for them not to get married. The foundation is so weak and might not be able to withstand problems through times.
@@Hamann9631 If that Priest would not allow the marriage, I believe he had good reason. That marriage most probably would have ended up in divorce, making things much worse. You and I were not there present and have no rights to make judgements.
@@bullhead900 We do have the right to make judgements about circumstances. I do not see how the possibility of a divorce should keep people from getting married.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
It would be awesome if you guys did an episode on the different orders, like the Dominicans, Franciscans etc. God bless you guys! You make every tuesday a day to look forward to!
What happens if a couple married via Catholic, but one becomes abusive or commits adultery, or is overall not a good person for the other. What is the suffering spouse to do? Just forgive and continue? Just recall my parents, and it was just a really bad situation until it was intolerable. Could the abused spouse ask for an annulment?
Yes
Abuse isn't technically grounds for divorce, though.
The grounds arising from abuse would be more along the lines of the person not being whom they represented themselves to be before the marriage. To my knowledge if one person is abusive before the marriage then they would be exactly whom they represented themselves to be and it wouldn't necessarily be nullified. At least, not on the grounds of the abuse.
I’m currently going thru the annulment process after my divorce over a decade ago. This type of talk so was so cathartic for me. I laughed and cried a bit. 😩 in all honesty hearing father say he went thru the process too was everything I needed to hear. It’s so embarrassing and hard to talk about so knowing you’re not alone from someone else just meant so much to me. Thank you guys so so much for this!
Hi Kris, how did you get through your annulment? I fear I may be headed down the same road
My college roommate was divorced when her husband left her. She was fully committed to the marriage and did everything she could to save it. After her civil divorce, her confessor advised her to start the annulment proceedings immediately. She hesitated, as she was still in pain, raising 4 children, and believed in the validity if her Catholic marriage. The priest was practical and consoled that she would eventually meet someone and want to remarry, but would not be free to do so, without the annulment. He had seen this happen to too many good people before, that just ended up living together when they were unable to immediately marry in the Church. He also shared that the annulment processes included a great deal of prayer and discernment ( not just the formal litigation of validity if the marriage) which although painful would be healing. She followed his advice and received the annulment. After the children were raised, she is now in a second marriage, which she was able to enter into joyfully and without any hesitation.
in the 1940's my dad tried to get an annulment before he married my mom. Of course he could not get one, and he had very good grounds. Needless to say, he didn't get one, so my parents were never married in the Church. They raised us 4 kids Catholic and sent us to Catholic schools. Looking back, I wish they had taken the hint and left the Church. This is one of the big reasons many leave the Church.
Right! And it takes $ to get divorce. Church listens when $ involved.
For those of us that will soon enter the sacrament of marriage, I think it would be a great idea if you had a show discussing what a Catholic wedding is and how it's unique from all other ceremonies. Love the shows. Gods peace be with you.
Thejuliana809. Great idea. It has been a long time since I have been to a Roman Catholic marriage. I like understanding other religions.
Thank you Ryan D for talking openly about your personal situation. Personal testimony always makes abstracted topics more meaningful. And, Congratulations on finding your true marriage partner and your vocation of a Catholic marriage. Strong marriages and families is the number one way of building a better society. Praise Be.
I am a serious Catholic woman who divorced after 35 years of marriage and I do not take that lightly. That decision did not come to me easily. I did the only thing I could but that decision will weigh on me the rest of my life. Luckily I had good counsel from a Priest who was supportive through everything. That was key.
Why 35 years? That's a long time. With 80% of women initiated divorce why did you pursue and not him?
Well who has you been a terrible wife. I'm sure your ex husband is glade he was able to move on.
@@KeiPyn24cuz women are $tupid
Oh my god I'm married and my wife hates me and we were married in the catholic church and we had our son please pray for me
My father is a retired attorney, who practiced circa 1950-2010. Our Bishop used to bring civil divorce cases to him. My father was traditional and did not handle divorce cases as typical part of his practice. He was very involved in our local diocese, and without divulging any details , said that the Bishop was wise in these particular circumstances to recommend a civil divorce for those couples. Now many decades later, I can only speculate that there may have been physical or alcohol/drug abuse in the home, and children present for this modeling....especially since this began in the 1950s prior to the surge of common divorces in the US
deborahdunn9951. It sounds like you father helped people commit mortal sin. Are you worried for him?
@@Hamann9631 I disagree that he (or any other attorney) assisted in mortal sin. First off, divorce is not a sin. The sin comes in the form of adultary if either party enters into another sexual relationship.
Secondly, civil divorce is just that - civil. What makes a marriage sacramental is the Church's blessing, which neither the attorney nor the couple is messing with. Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's.
A unjust divorce can indeed be a mortal sin. It is immoral as it introduces chaos into our society Especially it’s effects on the children. I certainly would worry about your father’s soul if I were you.
@@Lancer-y5g It is not a mortal sin to divorce a husband who is a drunkard, a drug abuser, domestic abuser-physical or verbal, gamblers, greedy, pornography users, adulterers and criminals.
Your show has brought me closer to God. I am separated. It took five years to decide to separate and I talked with several Augustine priests at the church where I was married to ask for council. Without any prompting from me, they all said that due to my husband's contempt towards me that lasted five years, that I SHOULD separate and/or divorce as it destroyed my sense of self and was affecting our children. However, during several confessions with Jesuit priests and a Legionnaire of Christ priest, they either condemned my choice or supported it. I have been left so confused and it has taken me years with the grace of the Lord and Our Holy Mother just to feel good about myself again. Funnily enough, my husband and I cohabitate in order for the children to have both of their parents (we live in a large home where he has the bottom floor, like a mini-apartment and I have the top floor and we share the communal areas) but I have fallen in love with someone else. I don't plan to marry and we are growing closer to the church together but I understand there are rules. The laws of marriage are so confusing because when your spouse neglects you on emotional, sexual and mental levels, then who is the one to break the vows? I am so confused.
Don't date when you are married. The Church laws on marriage are both clear and very beautiful. American interpretation of divorce, and annulments is very bad. I would only respect an appeal to Rome to give me anything close to moral certainty. My diocese is an absolute annulment factory. Even the defender of the bond encourages remarriage!
@@mudypaws say more, you mean remarriage in Catholic
l.r.4595. Wow. I encourage you to find a christian church which isn't so against marriage.
Good afternoon Christ king smokes, Catholic talk show ❤️✝️
Thank you for this much needed information. It shouldn’t be so easy to get married, people should be obligated to know all this prior to even picking a wedding date! I have to wonder if they’d be less divorces if people actually really understood the sacrament marriage and were actually practicing Catholics.
People need to know this before starting to "date." We don't seek companions for recreation. We seek them for procreation if we are young enough and in all cases for mutual SALVATION. We should be joining together to grow in virtue.
The failure rate is so high in America because of the idea of dating to fall in love and then hopefully get married. NO, have the hard discussion before you let romantic feelings blur your vision. Keep touching to a minimum and no prolonged embraces or kisses. This is the path that leads to destruction. We are too permissive in the US. I deeply regret the leniency I was told was ok, and that was limited to embracing and kissing but all too passionately, and that dating was an exploration with multiple people, either at the same time or serially. If you like each other and you're on the same page in terms of values and life goals, get betrothed, which means setting a date, get into Marriage prep classes and go to the altar. Do not postpone the sacrament to get the right venue, gown and other frou-frou. It's absurd to wait 8 months for a dress.
Those figurines are cuuuute
You should have Leila Miller on - she wrote a book called "Primal Loss - the Adult Children of Divorce Speak." She also wrote a book on saving marriages.
The children of divorce certainly suffer. But Leila Miller entirely blames wives for all divorces and exonerates husbands and the common male vices. She is a wicked misogynist.
I really love the traditions of the Catholic Church and I do agree that divorce is a bad thing but sometimes Human frailty makes it impossible for a marriage to stay together my friend was married to a abusive alcoholic they made her remain in the marriage and or suggested that she can get divorced but never remarry but in order to cut tides and remain safe she decided to divorce I believe she remarried but she had asked for an annulment from the first marriage they did not granted so she got excommunicated the first husband eventually died because of his alcoholism and believe it or not the second husband stayed through many trials and tribulations never faltering in his love for her I wish there would’ve been a way for her to remain part of the church
Abuse and alcoholism should definitvely be a reason for an anullment.
Upon further studies I have found that cooperation in marriage and disagreement upon children and other moral issues as well as mental illness alcoholism abuse kidnapping and my many other issues can be a valid reason for a divorce within the church if there is no way to work it out and all conditions are met for granting an annulment. I am no fan of divorce and or annulment for frivolous reasons however and upon my studies I find that it is logical the way the criteria is set up for granting annulment and or civil divorce and then the church annoying the marriage. I feel this statement needs to be made so nobody believes that I am against the teachings of Christ.I had to do much study to understand this issue as well as other issues the Baltimore catechism the Council of Trent and many other writings could help in this area
@@etcwhatever One of the issues when going for an annulment is that for the most part both parties must take part in the process and this is probably why my friends annulment was not granted both parties must take part in the process much like our court system. Unless they are not married in the church.There was A canon lawyer that explained the process in many steps and very concise the Baltimore catechism and books on canon law could help with this.At the time when I asked this question I didn’t know or have full understanding of the process
@@etcwhatever Unfortunately my friend has strayed away from the church I’ve sent her some of these online discussions and other videos supporting Catholic teaching as well as to other people at this time hopefully it does some good somewhere I think it’s good for one friend
@@carissahanson9887 that is terrible. In civil divorce it can go ahead even if one of the people dont agree to it. In eclesiastic annulment they should try to rule marriage validity even if one of the people dont cooperate
Marriage advice episode? 🤔
Please!!!!
Divorce destroys the family and in turn wrecks the society, Christ was right in not accepting divorce in His church
So do these rubber stamped annulments that are granted 98% of the time through American tribunals, how about these Catholic families that have 6 kids and have been married for 20 years or more!
@@johnsteiner2960 Exactly! I am beginning to think that the Church thinks literally no-one can become married. They admit it also, the question was about whether annulments are given out more today than before: "Only in the sense that in the past few decades the Tribunals have come to a better understanding of the workings of the human heart and mind. This has been gained through the development of modern psychology which shows that some people have not “grown up” sufficiently by the time of their wedding to appreciate what is entailed in so serious a commitment as marriage. This does not mean, of course, that the couple should be able to foresee all the snags in a particular marriage. It means that where there is a GROSS lack of appreciation or evaluation of the proposed marriage so that there is an enormous gap between the party’s Consent and the reality of the lifelong commitment to another human being, there can be no marriage"
Spicy topic folks. Thanks for being a voice of clarity in a sea of confusion. However, claiming we're on a good trajectory with Francis on this issue is a bold claim. If I'm divorced and remarried I'm openly living in mortal sin and likely doing so unrepentantly. Clearly all these "divorced" (impossible) and "remarried" (impossible since if the original marriage was annulled there is no "remarried" that's possible) Catholics got married under the pretence that the marriage was legitimate after they went through prep. If a couple went through marriage prep and the priest is unable to discern that the couple should get married we have a failure among the clergy (people and circumstances change ... fair enough ... no one disputes legitimate examples).
Offering communion to those in a state of mortal sin is concerning because there's no real mechanism in the Church to absolve someone of this issue through the sacrament of confession since there's likely no intention to terminate the second marriage and return to their legitimate spouse and cease adultery. I get that there's legitimate reasons why annulments are necessary and no one disputes that ... but these seems like rare cases. Annulment can be stretched to fit any case but it seems we agree this is totally inappropriate despite being a "pastoral point". Annulments are a farcical process in practise (not in theory) since something like over 95% of annulments are approved. Here's my 2 cents ... those generations that where not getting divorced ... they were not provided with abundant "pastoral care" ... rather ... they had a developed sense of the sacramental union. We're lacking clarity and bold catechism... not "care". We live in an era of abundant care and ignorance.
Fr. Pagano ... I love you ... no shade :)
Amen I dont trust any person who uses the term pastoral to denigrate truth.
Whoever sets his wife aside...and she remarries..forced her into adultery.
Divorce is such a TOUGH topic People aren't created to be alone, and when the closeness of a marriage ends, many end up in "adulterous " relationships because of the deep loneliness. It is a real pastoral issue to pastor people not to live in mortal sin, but to equally guide with deep compassion and wisdom. Honestly, I often think that we, the laity, are often more close to the front edge of our friends and family, in helping to cut off disasters before they occur. We often have "hints" and are in better position to love and guide (before or after marriage).
@@deborahdunn9951 . "many end up in adulterous relationships because of the deep loneliness" I appreciate that suffering is real and clearly your statement is true of many situations. However, comiting acts of adultury as a means of eliminting temporal suffering is not a Catholic solution. We have no pastoral care that JUSTIFIES adultary. We want to protect and heal everyone including those who have commited acts of adultary but the solution is ALWAYS to repent and cease living in sin. We do not condone adultary or any sin for that matter on the basis of care. The goal is always the elimination of sin. Granted, some people need to be weened off (this is the place of pastoral care) but ultimatly adultary is totally unacceplable and required repentance. We're called to be saints. "forced her into adultery" this is simply untrue and deeply defeatist. "People aren't created to be alone" monks manage and so do countless saints, you're discounting the value of chastity.
Sorry if I wasn't clear. I don't condone adultery. It is a mortal sin. True, many people can and do live chaste lives. (BTW myself included, as a member of a lay organization) . I think we both know that all humans were not created with the same gifts and charisms. I believe that the insight contained in the paraphrased quote..." forced into adultery ". is an acknowledgment that man was not created to be alone. That deep human drve in the human heart calls out for proper pastoral guidance. It's not defeatist to recognize and wish to address this. But I think we were actually agreeing on that. I also think that family and friends, are often closer to situations, can anticipate what may be coming down the pike, and try to help before the stress of difficult situation leads to poor life choices. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear. I do not think we're saying anything different in terms of church teaching. But only perhaps a different approach in how we witness the truths in the Catholic church.
Depends on how liberal your diocese is on divorce and annulments. Mine was done within 2 years, not that I wanted it! My uncle's took years!
St. Francis de Sales said that.marriage is the one vocation where the final profession comes before the novitiate
There are eleventy-three thousand invalid annulments in the 🇺🇸 US. All those remarried couples are gonna have to answer to God in the end.
There is a lot of information out there about the phonyness of annulments.
It's called,
THE ANNULMENT ABUSE CRISIS IN THE UNITED STATES CATHOLIC CHURCH. The abuse started and ran parallel to (or along side of) the sexual revolution.
The annulments are crap, and the victims who remain faithful to their vows are called "standers".
@@Oliveoil91661 The remarried couples who were granted an annulment will not answer to God... the Authority of the church will. We can rest assured that anything that is "loosed on earth is loosed in Heaven" by the keys that were given the His Church. Even if it is not God's Will for a couple to nullify their marriage, if the Church gives Her Authority to do so, the two people can be sure they are safe to remarry. It is like if a priest in mortal sin says mass, Jesus still shows up in the Eucharist.
@@clairemeanslight8627 I still have to respectfully disagree. I won't be answering any more about this, but please reply if you like. I'm not ignoring you. I just have little time to allow for extended conversations. Stay well. ........ [Invalid annulments] are "the beginning of the end of the catholic Church in America." ~ Fr. John Hardon. ........He has received faculties for canonization. We have all kinds of crosses. There are many, many divorced Catholics who are called "standers". They carry a cross that would crush the 'crosses' of the annulled and remarried, as they/we stay true to our vows. RE Mary's Advocates; Save Our Sacrament; #Lukesixteeneighteen; The Ruth Institute; etc
Let no man put usunder. A priest is a nan@@clairemeanslight8627
To PAY for an annulment. How political ... to pay for forgiveness?
WHAT about when the partner who leaves the marriage and re-marries and will not co-operate with the original partners desire to try to get their original marriage annulled.?
I am going through the process right now (actually my husband is trying to get the annulment). His ex wife is very much against it, but the tribunal says the process will go forward regardless of whether she cooperates or not. In fact, the contestation itself may provide more evidence in favor of the finding of nullity.
Please explain
@@pattid8729 good
That's just savagely narcissistic... But to give you encouragement, I got my annulment and my ex fought me tooth and nail.
I am in a similar situation. I’m converting to Catholicism. I was divorced, my husband died. I’ve been married to my current husband 28 years. He was previously married, now he has to get an annulment. I don’t think his ex will do it. I’m just praying this all goes smoothly. 🙏🙏
I am evangelical but I agree alot with the catholic view of marriage, I would call marriage a mystery (Musterion in the greek), not a sacrament as Jerome translated the term into Latin, but in theory it is still very solid, as it understand very well the indissoluble nature of it. However the annulment system is now extremely abused which defeats the purpose of it all.
As a recently-degreed canon lawyer, I really appreciate this episode. Encouraging people to seek a declaration of nullity and getting the word out there that this can be a helpful and healing process is something the Church needs nowadays. It's part of helping the marriage situation as a whole, in my mind.
One thing I'd just like to add to the discussion is a clarifying comment about the Pauline and Petrine privileges. Before I was a student, these did not make much sense to me. What was the rationale? How could the Church say that marriage is indissoluble yet dissolve a valid, consummated marriage? Well, it clicked and made sense when in class we made one important distinction. There is a difference between *extrinsic* and *intrinsic* indissolubility. Intrinsic/relative indissolubility means that neither the parties nor any other human power can dissolve the marriage. Since it is not the minister who marries the spouses but rather the spouses who marry each other (as y'all mentioned), it is the spouses alone who could even in theory dissolve the marriage; but since marriage is the relationship where the parties who contract it say "I won't ever dissolve this," they've renounced even their ability to dissolve it. Hence, no human power can dissolve an intrinsically indissoluble marriage. But God can, if he so chooses. So an intrinsically indissoluble marriage is dissolvable by God alone. Extrinsic/absolute indissolubility also means that no human power can dissolve the marriage, but that God also will not dissolve it, and indeed will give it the necessary graces to endure.
And it's this added layer of extrinsic indissolubility that makes a sacramental marriage properly sacramental. The Church teaches that only sacramental marriage is a sign of Christ and the Church - non-sacramental marriage (natural marriage) is not. Why? Because although natural marriages are intrinsically indissoluble, it is extrinsically DISsoluble. Since the marriage between Christ and the Church is extrinsically INdissoluble, it takes another extrinsically indissoluble relationship to be able to signify it in the first place. Hence, the Catechism says (as was read in the podcast) that Christ "raised marriage among the baptized to the level of a sacrament." Using our new terms, this basically means he makes what is ordinarily only intrinsically indissoluble to be extrinsically indissoluble too. It's a completely new kind of bond, one that can now image and signify the extrinsically indssoluble relationship between Christ and the Church.
And so, for the Pauline and Petrine privileges, this is the Church recognizing that Christ gave her His power to dissolve valid, natural marriages. The power to bind and loose. However, it would be against prudence for the Church to just dissolve valid natural bonds without good reason. Historically, stipulations have been given that one must meet, in order for the Church to be okay with dissolving it. Thus, Paul says it can be permitted when one converts and the spouse leaves on account of the person's newfound faith. Then over time, new situations arose in which the Church basically said, "sure, we'll dissolve that too. That's a good reason that we haven't thought of before." All these other "newer" reasons are lumped together and named the so-called Petrine Privilege, which is more accurately called a dissolution "in favor of the faith."
So, there ya go! Hope that clarifies things. Keep up the good work, y'all are reaching lots of souls.
"Encouraging people to seek a declaration of nullity and getting the word out there that this can be a helpful and healing process is something the Church needs nowadays." No just No!!! Please Explain.
@@johnnotrealname8168 What I mean is that for most Catholics who get divorced, seeking a declaration of nullity isn't even on their radar. They just get "re"-married and put themselves in a state of concubinage and sin. Encouraging people to seek declarations of nullity, whether or not the nullity of their marriage is actually proven, should absolutely be done more often in order to avoid the above situation. We both no doubt agree that if a Catholic gets divorced civilly, they should seek a declaration of nullity especially if they think they want to pursue a relationship with someone else in the future.
@Frances Your pessimism can lead you in two directions: 1) Tribunals are frivolously "handing out annulments" when they shouldn't be, or 2) marriage is so broken nowadays that in all matter of fact, most marriages that Tribunals get are actually invalid. I tend to think the truth is a combination of both, to the exclusion of neither. It's a both/and, not an either/or.
I do also think it's unfair of you to lump all "American Tribunals" under one banner. I know for a fact there are some who are aware of the problem and are consciously trying to avoid it, myself being one of them. And that is what I was taught in school, so hopefully you can find some comfort in that.
@@tylerrossjcl Sure though it would be better if the Church put some actual pressure on married couples.
Edit: Also a year later mate?
@@johnnotrealname8168 yeah, definitely agre.
Also....yep haha sorry. TH-cam notifications are not the best and I'm only just now seeing this because someone else recently commented.
Not to be rude but this is literally the textbook definition of semantics.
It’s even in these guys language (“my previous marriage”) who say they were married but then say they were never actually married. My question is: what is that thing called that you “annulled” if it wasn’t a marriage?
Thank You! The Church actually changed the grounds for annulment. I thought it was the radical-traditional lot who went on about it but this was in response to a question on whether they are approved more nowadays:
"Only in the sense that in the past few decades the Tribunals have come to a better understanding of the workings of the human heart and mind. This has been gained through the development of modern psychology which shows that some people have not “grown up” sufficiently by the time of their wedding to appreciate what is entailed in so serious a commitment as marriage. This does not mean, of course, that the couple should be able to foresee all the snags in a particular marriage. It means that where there is a GROSS lack of appreciation or evaluation of the proposed marriage so that there is an enormous gap between the party’s Consent and the reality of the lifelong commitment to another human being, there can be no marriage."
I’m going through this experience right now I was married in 2008 my ex was military and was overseas I decided to become Catholic at the time of marriage we both did not have a religion and my ex was baptized but really dedicated under the salvation army which the Catholic Church does not recognize I was not baptized then became Catholic so I’m going through a poly line I believe I’m saying this right going through the Catholic Church as we speak and my ex is uncooperative and He been married now for the third time and I have not remarried at all but engaged to be married
And I spoke with my priest and it’s been 13 years and I straight away from the church because I was ashamed and scared because we were divorced civilly and I did confession and Pentance some years ago but wanted to get back in full grace and communion with the church and I’m on the pathway to doing so🙏🙏🙏
What is the churches position when you have a good marriage, but many years later the wife becomes abusive and commits adultery. Can that marriage be annulled?
Gloria in Excelsis Deo! 🙏
any marriage between any male and female, under any culture, is a valid marriage.....one has to ask how many who convert to the Catholic faith....are ask to renew their vows or separate, and I dont think that this happens....
My daughter 15 she open up to me more. I in twin boys love me.i am still learning more and more.about my kids i a am happy married Catholic .
Me and my wife got a civil wedding first. Then we got married in the Catholic Church. The reason we did it like that the ins was trying to send my wife back to the Philippines so after the Civil wedding we got father Terry and he married is after we did our confessions. Because we're running out of time the sit-ins we had to file the paperwork she's American citizen and she's from the Philippines we've been married for 17 years
17:00 Huh? So, that priest encouraged you to live in sin?! That makes no sense. That is anti-marriage to discourage people already doing married people's things from getting married.
What MEAL do you implore a DESIRE most? Never of the body, only your heart and soul.
HE is calling one here.
I know this is random; but often when you are asking some questions the camera man pulls back and the Jesilus bobble head is shaking his head up and down AND; the other bobble heads remain perfectly still. I don't mean to heretical; but it cracks me up, but the truth is that the right answer is Yes!!
What if my life was at jeopardy? The priest stated to me that Gid didn’t want me to be a door mat nor put myself in danger ( which I was. Guns were involved). Yet the NM archdioceses did not grant me an annulment. Because I couldn’t afford to pay for it.
I’m involved with a God fearing man who trusts God with all his heart. He leads with God in mind. We have been apart because he is stuck in an Arabian country. We said vows to each other twice and keep saying them often.
Until an annulment is done … how is our vows different from saying them by a judge in court? We both want a catholic marriage but can’t until I get an annulment. We have abstained from sex so far because of this. However, this is part of a relationship that makes it beautiful. We have began together for over 8 years. What do you suggest?
I know what you say and feel. Read my comment above. Bless you 🙏
ElegantlyDriven. I recommend you find a christian denomination which doesn't treat you like you did something wrong by saving yourself.
Who gets paid to leave? Who marries based on resources. Who gets the chidren,the house, alimony,child support.
If you had kids, you manifestly had capacity and due discretion to consent, because the object of consent is only the conjugal act. These tribunals are operating on an illegal definition of consent.
Annulments now are given like candy! This is hilarious all the excuses you mentioned to get annulments just say if you’re a person and breathing you qualify for an annulment!
It has ruined the concept of Catholic marriage. I am looking at the application and reasoning and I cannot but think that whoever has gotten married ever has done so with an invalid marriage. It is a scandal! "Only in the sense that in the past few decades the Tribunals have come to a better understanding of the workings of the human heart and mind. This has been gained through the development of modern psychology which shows that some people have not “grown up” sufficiently by the time of their wedding to appreciate what is entailed in so serious a commitment as marriage. This does not mean, of course, that the couple should be able to foresee all the snags in a particular marriage. It means that where there is a GROSS lack of appreciation or evaluation of the proposed marriage so that there is an enormous gap between the party’s Consent and the reality of the lifelong commitment to another human being, there can be no marriage."
I have been advised by several priests in parishes I lived in, an annulment was advised. Which would be uncomplicated. What can I do now?
I just fail to understand why I had to get a divorce and go through the terrible process but because someone marries in the Baptist church they were never married and don’t need to divorce.
At the 7:45 mark, what Bible translation is being quoted from when referencing the text of Matthew, the "unless the marriage is unlawful" part?
If Catholics don't get divorced how does one remarry? Does annulment also grant a divorce with the state?
No, they're two different types of law (one civil and one canonical). You may get a civil union/divorce, but it doesn't affect the sacramental side of a canonical marriage/annulment. So couples may end up doing both because they want to be sacramentally united in marriage and also enjoying the rights that civil law offers them.
I got married outside of the grace of the church and couldn't take communion for almost 20 years. The divorce came from the spouse after her leaving. And I take responsibility for that. But now 3 years later, what I have an issue with is the times of being alone. The one thing the divorce did was bring me back to the faith. I try never to miss communion now that I can receive it. What I struggle with is understanding about dating, how to fight off the moments of depression, and to be honest how to fight the desire to be married again.
CenterPorchNP. Wow. The desire to be married again is good. Marriage is good an honorable. You shouldn't fight that feeling.
Don't get get married women have no real value to offer a man.
@@Hamann9631stop encouraging people to get married. Women want providers not lovers. Only an idiot would get married in today's world.
I believe that Matthew 19:29 allows for divorce if you leave all for God.
Matthew 19:29
New International Version
29 “And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife[a] or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.”
Please advice if I am misinterpreting this.
God bless you!
Did you join a religious order? Are you in seminary?
1. Did all that marriage prep class run by the Catholic.
2. I knew marriage was forever. Look like to me he(my x) thought that too.
10 years later, I discovered he started to have an affair with another woman. He left to be with her. So why doesn't the catholic church accept adultery as a reason for annulment? Why is the committed partner who was betrayed by the husband or wife, be a sinner for having to move on? No choice of their own. Annulment is expensive and may not be given. I believe our God can not be that mean to label all divorcees as sinners. Due to no fault of your own. God was a witness to every lie, deceitful act, and betrayal my x husband acted towards me and our marriage. I don't think God would frown on me having to move on for something out of my control, God wouldn't want me to suffer a lonely life due to another man's sin and God was witness to my truth, not some tribunal run by human beings to send me free to remarry. I feel God has blessed me with a second chance at a 2nd marriage. It's not even right to call my second husband a sinner because I don't have an annulment, only a civil divorce. He never caused the break-up.
Ryan is a divorcee. But he did not sin because he never married his first wife in the catholic church. God would see marriage in all religions, and civil in the world as sacred. I think God would have been upset with Ryan's divorce too. Ryan married in a baptist church first marriage, so I guess the Catholic church is saying non-Catholics OR Catholics who marry in other churches or civil are not real marriages so God doesn't recognise it. So they are not a sinner. Only a Catholic church marriage is recognised by God.(Looks like most of the world are in fake marriages and sinners).So if you, unfortunately, unfortunately married in a catholic church and ended up in divorce for being cheated on we will give no communion, and label you a sinner too.
This could be a big reason why the catholic church has lost many good past members of the catholic church. Because the church make catholic divorcees feel bad and unwelcomed by the church even when no fault of their own.
I was enjoying this channel until I saw this video. Made me feel upset and angry at the catholic church. My God is not unkind like the catholic church rulers
I agree
Why do the committed, abandoned spouses have to stay single and alone?
The unfaithful spouse is already remarried
@Latin Roses Hi , thank you for your reply. Hugs to you 🤗 ❤️
@LatinRoses it's because we love them. We love God and know he can change there heart.
@@bradanderson4202 Exactly! People here are selfish and that is a different way to look at this but it is true.
Please pray for my wife and I to fix our marriage she filled for divorce and I love her dearly but she says she doesn’t, we have 4 kids and have been together for 13 years and I’m pretty sure our Priest said that she could get our marriage annulled and I don’t know why he would say that. When I thought we should always try to work on our marriages and get through anything and I believe we both took the same vows we’re both Catholic and i feel crushed
You got it Matt. I pray the Lord heals you both.
@@RangersMavsCowboys thank you this is truly the heaviest storm is I’ve ever seen
Do other faiths also have an annulment process?
Probably not, Catholic Church apparently are the only church with recognised marriage by God
Can someone please explain to me the inquisition? You can draw it, Iol, I won’t get mad. I just didn’t get it yet.
"His widow" means he's dead.
Its just like a goverment do investigation about something
Well both angles of that question were answered. Good work folks. God bless you all.
The Inquisition is a method of legal proceedings developed (not created) in the Middle-Ages. The body which tries the individual is the same person who investigates the person. Continental Europe today has such a method I believe. This is opposed to the Anglo-American model in which the investigating body is different from the judicial body.
@@johnnotrealname8168 Thanks John, but I didn't mean what Inquisition means, I meant the question. I still didn't understand the question/answer.
You guys are so funny.
I wish I watched this a few to several months ago as I just submitted my application for an annulment about 2 months ago.
Thank you so much. I needed this so much! I have a really good protestant friend that doesn't understand. I had to get an annulment from an extremely physically, emotionally, religiously, and sexually abusive "marriage" that was not healthy for the children, and now she's considering the same, for the same reasons, but fears that she can't be civilly divorced and still please God and if she did she could never marry again for fear of being an adulteress. In my situation I was going to a protestant church due to my "husband's" beliefs and the women I went to for help told me it was my fault because I wasn't submissive enough although I was extremely submissive, and this is my friend's current situation. I really want her to see that there are good reasons to consider why she may be free to not only get herself and her children to safety, but also hope for God to send her a true husband someday, as I hope he does for me. Again thank you so much for this video and I appreciate any prayers anyone may offer for her and myself and both our children. Thank you so much!
1) Do you think that not being open to children is a valid reason for an annulment? 2) a wife has a long-time male friend at the time of marriage. She does not tell her husband that she had an intimate relationship with that friend before marrying her husband but husband knew she and he were friends. She remains friends with the former secret lover and eventually decides to end her marriage to be with him. But, after 2 years of her adultery, the extramarital relationship ends. The marriage has understandably fallen apart. Valid grounds for annulment?
1) not being open to life invalidates a Catholic marriage. But be sure to ask a good Priest to gain a better understanding of this.
I looked into annulment and was unhappy to read that it means the marriage never took place when annulled. How does the church deal when there are children? Are they not part of the family? Are they then bastards?
That is civil-legal annullment. Catholic Annullment of the Sacrament of Marriage is strictly about both parties intentions & understanding of the requirements to undertake the Sacramental Vows.
@@julietmalvaez9491 you didn't answer my question. Can someone tell me what Catholic Annulment means with respect to ones children.
You must go to a good holy priest to discern. There’s a lot of confusion among priests giving their thoughts.
So after the nulity has been declared in the affirmative does a couple have to go thru a divorce civilly or is the nullification enough for them to move on to seek a new bond?
Nice
Lol! I really enjoy the thinking paradoxically catch me question of the man’s widow. I’m looking at my last supper picture as if he’s stumped them again. Keep up the good work and God Bless all of you for your openness.
My wife is from the Philippines I'm American was not raised Catholic went through all my confessions before we got married do not know what I believe when I join the Catholic Church. Me and my wife got married 2006 Augusta Catholic Church going to other churches because I was raised Baptist I came back to the Catholic Church I went to the rectory a nasty lady in the office what must I do to come back to the temperature she says you need to talk to the priest make confession make confession she also says go to TH-cam Catholic coming home and that was a very good testimonies that I listen to. My wife never left me I used to drop my wife off at the Catholic Church go to my own church. So now my wife stays home from Mass while I go to Mass because she didn't like when I left the church but now I've been back 9 months to the Catholic Church I'm praying someday she will go to mass. We never got a divorce never been separated I wish I came back sooner to the church. Didn't know what I believed the Catholic Church teaches had all my classes so I took the classes again online one of the reasons I did not understand what the Catholic Church teaches because I have a disability I'm covered under Ada disability yet mild retardation. I have learned so much listen to father Mike.
Me and my wife are Catholic even though we did it backwards did the Civil wedding first in the Catholic wedding because I did not want the ins sent her back to the Philippines
When they gave statistics about people getting divorced, they were counting your relationship (the man on the left) as a marriage because it was a marriage.
You didn't address the status of the children of an annulled marriage. Are they born out of wedlock?
I'm age 67 been married for 17 years we can have a camp wedding and the kids or baptized confirm every one of our kids or baptized we held up all our responsibilities as parents
I was not married in the church. I divorced because he was cheating on me, my parents caught him with the woman while I was serving our country. They were married 65 years in the Catholic Church. I did not date for 18 years because I remain committed to the marriage he however is on wife #4. I have tried to date a couple of times but it never works out. I talk to my priest and he said that because my first husband died and because I have remained faithful to the marriage that I can receive the Eucharist.
You should have stay at your house making it into home for him instead going out and competing against men in the workforce. Sounds like your the problem in the marriage. Feminism is a lie.
When me and my wife got married my wife was Catholic and I was a Catholic too but not practicing. So when we got married we thought I had a civil wedding. After that we went and got a Catholic wedding. The reason we had a civil wedding first before the Catholic wedding. Because the ins was trying to send my wife back to the Philippines. I've been back to the Catholic church for 9 months now I have not Miss any Mass since I came back
I wondered about when Jesus was talking about divorce in Matthew, in that he was talking specifically to men. But are the rules for divorce different for a woman?
No difference! It applies to both. When you are married you become one, no longer two separate people.
If I’m remarried, can I be baptized without an annulment?
25:00 Um...you cannot date if you werent granted an annulment. 🤔
I am annulled he is living in sin but I am Catholic and celibate
Should I go ahead and get an annulment from my ex husband even though I still love him and I am okay with being alone.
I have commented a few times on this video. I am going through the annulment process for a convalid marriage.
80% of divorces are initiated by women. We can discuss ideals all day long; but at the end of the day women are the weak link in the marriage.
Thinking emotionally and needing constant validation with most couples themselves products of divorce, feminism and sexual liberty are a part of the sin that destroy marriages.
Most men will never marry nor even get a second look from women. They are "too nice".
I must admit, after divorce and getting served divorce papers for "irreconcilable differences " I dove into scripture and Redhill content.
The societal confines of expected behavior along with easy access to sex for most women (90% or greater are not virgins at marriage) as well as the idealism promoted by our Church, most women are leading secret lives before vows are taken.
For devout Catholic men it is very hard to find a single 20 something to be virtuous and chaste.
To most women competing for top earners with establish led lives and income, women learn to get what they want through sex.
I am glad this is being discussed, but these guys are using ideals as opposed to understanding women from a biological and emotional stance.
Much if my understanding is validated through experience and reading Redhill content. The Church can only do so much and there are only so many women are virtuous enough to be and stay married.
what is the percent that the church grants an annulment. every year the number goes up. the church needs people to stay ..one way or another...so sad
Well then we need to get rid of feminism. It's a big fat lie.
i cant get why my situation wasnt about an uneven height match for our genders and not an annulment about my "red head scales".
25:50. It was beautiful to hear about that couple who got back together after a long time, but there are other beautiful stories. I think it is more beautiful if a couple living in sin stop living in sin. I think it is more beautiful when a person who had a terrible first marriage finds a happy second marriage.
Where is the Virgen de Guadalupe 😭😭😭
What about when both partners were atheists when married (not in Church), and one of them later converted to Catholicism (Roman) and wants a civil divorce because of neglect and abuse?
and what if both partners were baptized?
The Church grants annulments. You massage the word "annulment" to make it more appealing. But, in reality, annulment petitions are granted.... actually rubber-stamped.
Whats all this divorce talk? I thought divorce couples were still married after a civil divorce case?
I can't tell if this was brought up, or if I'm just not understanding it fully. But can a divorcee that did not want to get divorced get remarried? If they were against the divorce but the other party wouldn't back off, can that person re-marry?
Are you catholic?
No, not even in the worst imaginable scenario. Say a loving, faithful wife gets physically beaten and cheated on by her husband, so long as they entered into a valid marriage at the moment they exchanged vows, she is not free to remarry.
@@mn22286 Question:
Is it a sin to divorce a spouse who is physically and emotionally abusive, after many attempts at resolving the behavior in couple's therapy have failed?
Answer:
No, it is not a sin to divorce such a spouse. The Code of Canon Law states:
A spouse who occasions grave danger of soul or body to the other or to the children, or otherwise makes the common life unduly difficult, provides the other spouse with a reason to leave, either by a decree of the local ordinary [e.g., bishop] or, if there is danger in delay, even on his or her own authority. (CIC 1153)
The canon does go on to state that once such a danger has passed, common life should be restored, but given the unique difficulties of abuse cases (e.g., promises to reform are all too often broken), an abused spouse may wish to allow an independent specialist such as a priest or a psychologist to determine if and when it is safe to resume common life.
The Church considers civil divorce in such cases to be the ecclesial equivalent of a legal separation and tolerates civil divorce sought for just cause (such as to ensure personal safety and/or the safety of children) to settle estate and child custody arrangements. The divorced person is still considered validly married and may not remarry in the Church unless and until an annulment is granted.
- www.catholic.com/qa/is-divorce-a-sin-when-ones-spouse-is-abusive
What does this means my specific other ex wife had some papers mail here about this . Can someone explain ?
I had to divorce my abusive alcoholic husband because he was abusive to our 5 children. He wouldn't leave and would not divorce me. I had to leave him and our home for the sake of my kids. I was hoping he would see the light but never did. He lost everything house business and family. He's still an alcoholic and rarely sees the kids or even talks to them. I remarried after 8 years to a Catholic who fell away from the church due to his divorce from his ex wife who was a gambler and abusive to his children..I wanted to get an an annulment and marry my 2nd husband in the church but he feels that all the church wants is the 500 dollars. Should I still get the annulment for my sake and hope someday he'll want to get married in church?
Do him a favor and stay single. Why should he pick your baggage and have to raise another man's seed? Why should he have all the responsibility of YOUR kids but no authority over them? Pretty $tupid idea.
A vehicle is only a vessel to get you THERE.
Simply a get out of jail free card. Shame on the post Vatican II Church. Apostasy
Exactly! I am not even a radical-traditionalist but they changed the rules to allow rubber-stamping, I thought the Church had a beautiful view on marriage, it did, however this is ridiculous! I am not even sure anyone ever could be married according to the standards the Church now applies: "Only in the sense that in the past few decades the Tribunals have come to a better understanding of the workings of the human heart and mind. This has been gained through the development of modern psychology which shows that some people have not “grown up” sufficiently by the time of their wedding to appreciate what is entailed in so serious a commitment as marriage. This does not mean, of course, that the couple should be able to foresee all the snags in a particular marriage. It means that where there is a GROSS lack of appreciation or evaluation of the proposed marriage so that there is an enormous gap between the party’s Consent and the reality of the lifelong commitment to another human being, there can be no marriage."
I think Jesus meant that the divorces allowed by Moses were never exactly valid. He allowed it because he knew there needed to be some kind of rules because people just weren't gonna listen. It's like Moses made that rule disappointedly and the people just ignored the disappointment and used it as justification
there is no way to make a marriage, a non marriage.....if the marriage were legal, Biblically speaking.....
I am considering converting to Catholicism but I am divorced and remarried. I’ve been married for almost 11 years. My first husband has been remarried twice, and is very happy. I am happy in my marriage. Can I become a Catholic
Did you ever find an answer to this question?
Annulments are ONLY in a few EXTREMES. No sin can supersede HIS Sacrament even a mortal sin. UNDERSTAND?
Am I able to receive communion and remarry if my spouse was unfaithful, demanded the divorce against my will and has become a lesbian?
Can I request some video topics?
Of course!
@@CatholicTalkShow Thank you!
I guess take these as ideas. After all you guys might not want to make videos on more than one of the topics:
(No order)
1. Are images of Jesus wrong? Why is Jesus portrayed as white? (You guys could shows how Christ is not only seen as white in art)
2. Why did God allow slavery in the bible? Why didn't Jesus not allow it?
3. Was mother theresa evil? (You can look up what Christopher Hitchens said about her)
4. How can catholics bible study? When they're outside of the church. Alone and with others.
5. How can catholics evangelize to family and others? What about to anti-catholic family and people?
@@CatholicTalkShow redo this topic video after reading all comments 3 years later.
"𝑴𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝑮𝒐𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝑶𝒖𝒓 𝑳𝒐𝒓𝒅."
[Messge of Mother to Jacinta before her hideous death at the age of 9 in 1920]
You only wed another for HIM to be one in HIM more. Always seeking HIM to be HIM more. Not find happiness in another.
And it's not just getting married in the Catholic Church. Also making a promise to bring your children up to be Catholic and baptized the confirmation and confirm I made all this promises when I married my wife even though it was a civil wedding first then we got married in the temperature
We have been married for over 50 years. We were baptized and married in a protestant church, then converted to Catholicism.
The Catholic church offers recognition to long married couples but not to us….
The Law of Moses permits Divorce
so because of sin God permits it even though its not His original plan for marriage
Jesus rejected Moses' concession for divorce. He raised Marriage back to what God intended. Separation (civil divorce being tolerated under circumstances addressed in canon law) while respecting the marriage bond.
@@mudypaws Yes there is a good course online and or a seminar that I saw with a priest that explained the process really well
Jesus did not reject moses concession. He cant ,he fulfills the law. He did not come to destroy the law,change it,etc
I'm southren Baptist. I, use to go to a catholic church for many years. Any way a sin is a sin. I'm still married but my wife chose to live with another man. and she was the one that cheated on me and committed Adultry while being married to me. She wants a devoice but like the bible says about devoices. I'm not filing for a devoice she will have to do that. I, did by law I did file for a separation my wife today is living with another man. Me I live by myself. I, can forgive my wife but I don't trust her.
Do i need an annulment if i was married out by a justice of the peace when 19 and divorced a few years later. I have been remarried for 30 years.
Montana or some where near. HE alone steers or you have TOO much control, not seeing that growth in you.
Let's be honest, most annulments are a lie. How do you annul 15+ years, several children, pets, house, cars, stuffs? Whoever is passing out these annulments like candy will have to answer for it. They're not fooling Jesus.
I was raised Catholic but them became a Christian is that a sin?
Catholics are Christians.
im living it traditional catholic and divorced and i've tried God won't accend me.
I have a question. Assuming there is 3 parties involved in a marriage. If one person doesn't want to get divorced and the other more or less forces them....why is that person punished? I can see the one wanting the divorce to be punished but not the one who didn't want the divorce.
Also God is involved there. If person one is truly giving their most, how is it right that God doesn't but tells you you can't get a divorce? He could literally appear to the person but doesn't.
This question I can't answer but I know tons of people who left because of this. (thankfully I haven't experienced this)
Seems fairly likely that there at least might be a case for attemptimg annulment, at least if it can be shown the other person had this possibility in mind at the time or did not intend to remain committed for life. I do not know much on this topic to be honest.
As for the second question, God is present, for all things. I think what you meant is why does our Lord not manifest Himself physically in such a situation? Obviously zlI can not read the mind of our Creator, so this is merely my assessment for what the reason might be. This mattee is in part linked to the question why does He not appear to every act of serious evil. In part, this would impede our free will as God appearing would essentially remove anyone to either deny He exists and thus to not worship Him. In short, it would be not a matter of faith, but merely the logical thing to do then to follow Him. The potential to learn to trust in God with your whole being is greater when you must work towards it. In short, God would essentially be forcing Himself upon people by doing something in that manner consistently. That is not to say God is not present, one can and ought to always pray to Him in these and all matters. I hope that helps, God bless you.
@@LostArchivist I agree with the the annulment possibility but like these guys said it doesn't always happen,
As for the second part I have kinda thought that but it didn't seem like a good answer to give them. That was an extreme example. I think the bigger point was that they felt like they were putting in their all and the big man wasn't.
@@KethenGoesHam in cases where the two people cannot come together to agree to stay together or to take an annulment a separation is permitted all that means is that that person must remain celibate. If you have issues you can go to your bishop and speak to him or if you have friends with those issues you can do that there are some reasons where annulment is permissible or divorce is not permissible there are certain criteria that must be met I don’t remember all of them because I’m not a canon lawyer I just watched a two hour course on it.Some people don’t marry with the right intentions so receiving help from somebody that can explain it all and even for your friends that have left might help
7:40. Wow. You claimed to follow Jesus Christ's teachings. Jesus authorized "putting away" which is a King James 1611 way of saying, "divorce". The King James Translation uses the phrase, "fornication" to describe the activity which authorized DIVORCE.