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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 มิ.ย. 2020
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Will is a serial swiper, Alvin says he’s addicted, and Meggy is about to give up. Dating apps are everywhere, but how do they affect our mental health? Follow three people on their dating journeys, hear from psychotherapist Denise about what these apps might be doing to us, and learn how to use to them better.
Are Dating Apps Messing With Our Heads | BBC
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I hate dating apps,I was on tinder and I'd definitely recommend it if you enjoy being rejected 😂
I've forced myself to go meet people in real life and with enough approaching, it's become far less nerve-racking than it use to be. Real face to face introductions are the way to go folks.
I need to find this courage. Rejections are going both ways for me after first dates lately. Either I get rejected or I do the rejecting. If the latter, it's because I'm seeking "perfection", so I've become absorbed into and a part of the problem and it's keeping me single, for sure. It clicked today.
Don't waste your time with dating apps, get out there and live.
I would just add: have a hobbie, something you love. It can make it easier to meet other people with the same passion you have, and connect with them.
I'm tired of dating apps, been on them a couple of years with over 100 matches and still single it gets tiring and repetitive to spend hours chatting getting to know someone and next thing they ignore you and you're back to swiping for it all to happen again and again
Byron Hawk. ..I feel sorry for you ...but good you didn't lost your sense of humour. ..dating-Apps are a good business(am sure you pay a membership tax). ..never used one & will not use one ever. ..wish you luck to find the right one. ..
@@ceciliaanamaria6340 im pretty sure the app are free but probably have ads on them. dating websites are the ones you usually pay to use.
edit: just googled tinder and it is free to use but with limited amount of swipes unless you pay for membership. Why people would pay for that though is beyond me
@@SaviourInDistress I have a good friend (man) who is on such a Dating-App (paying 200€/year membership)...he is telling us how the dates are going. ..we laugh to death. ..but he is going on dates because he is paying the membership. .he says that this Apps are useless. ..as I said I wouldn't use auch an App ever. ..am old school fan. ..
@Like a Dragon do not flirt with women at work unless you want to get into a lot of trouble. Not every women is looking for you to flirt with them.
Online dating doesn't work for me. I feel like it's forced and conversations are repetitive for the most part.
I don’t like dating apps at all and how normalized they are. If you even mention that you would like to date the first thing people say is “Why don’t you try online dating?” No one says join a group, take a class or ask someone out.
It's this laughing at dating apps that is the crux of the problem. No-one wants to actually take responsibility for their actions, but only laugh at things like 'breadcrumbing.'
Well how about stop laughing at awful dating experiences and start taking dating more seriously and not playing all the childish tricks everyone else is.
It's not all just a laugh, it's someone's emotions you are playing with, and all for your own selfish indulgence.
Exactly.
You hit the nail on the head 👏👏
Do you think people care about other's feelings?!😂😂 no they don't. People like making people miserable and make them feel less then what they are.
For the four years i have spent on dating apps am really tired of them as a young man aged 26 from Uganda i thought that dating apps will help but things haven’t worked out am only meeting scammers
It’s more like the kinds of people who would get onto a dating app for hours at a time were already messed up in their heads.
Yeah and they should be supported
@@sonnykingcomposer need more real life weekend support gorups to meet ppl i need to meet ppl man
Course they are, people are getting anxiety over not getting messages back from people they've never even met.
These apps profit from people's loneliness and misery. Do yourself a favour and get off your phone and get outdoors. Do something productive. Meaningful friendships and relationships aren't found on the internet.
Hi how are you
@@christinerathband169 ffs
Can I just say I want to give Meggy a hug. It breaks my heart to see her so sad.
Want to make friend you
Just keep your boundaries and keep your self safe. Don’t sell yourself short on apps and don’t give too much of yourself away so soon. I think we all see the red flags and we all need to take responsibility for it. I mean we are the users of these apps. It’s not the best place but it is a tool to meet others.
Every Dating Service I tried was fake in the US.
As a man I used dating apps a lot and had many flings over the years. The issue is, if you sleep with 30, 40, 50 people, you just end up jaded and stop caring about dates or sex. I had to take a break as I was so burnt out. Its not natural to date and sleep with so many people.
My ex was addicted to these apps. I finally dumped her after 7 years.
Why did you wait so long?
@@xXMrGamePlayerXx because after the 1st year with her i got really sick. I had wide spread and debilitating body pain.
I began to have heart problems and my bp was high. No tests could find out what was wrong.
It was so bad i couldnt work. My doctor said it might be chronic stress.
3 weeks after she left i began recovering very fast. There is a book Called the Body kerps the score. It explains the affects of trauma.
Is this a new episode of Black Mirror?
As a female, I think it depends on the personality of the person on the app.. if you're the type that prioritizes "looks" first, then chances are you will struggle finding that perfect partner (guy) that fits your liking... in my case I preferred not seeing the guy physically and focus more on how we would converse and learn about each other that way (like a blind date type of approach) then you can clearly see through how they converse if they are bored, messing with you, trying to scam you, or are genuine 😊 I was on OKcupid for less than a month and found my partner, who is now my fiancee, and we've been together over 7years now...
P.S. I do not agree with how Tinder works (the quick swipe right/left) as compared to OKCupid before, Tinder is highly dependent on physical looks which I think overshadows the real personality, and it makes finding a partner harder...
The worlds gone mad I’m glad I’m old lol
Hehe that's what your parents/grandparents said when you were a kid 😂😂
That Grindr guy is best off loving himself, he's worryingly narcissistic.
true lol
I tried swiping right on Meggy but then realised I was on TH-cam..
Me, a twelve year old who just wants to watch Star Wars The Clone Wars: Execute Order BBC
Why don't they EVER interview average Joe's?
No point me using this kind of app, I'm as ugly as a rusty Sheriff's badge !!!!!
I'm on Hinge, I find it easy to use but the notifications on it don't always reach me even though that feature is on. I get barely any messages but if I do the conversations trails off or they don't reply. One woman snapped at me because I didn't reply to her in her time frame (I was at work ffs!) meh I'm fed up of the apps it's all a load of shite. But it's there as a back up if meeting in real life also hasn't worked.
ya i tried so many tinder was the worst fr, hinge i had some matches not much now i heard u just gotta get likes so that you appear in more ppls feeds i believe that, done much research. dumb thing is people match, i see a cool msg im like nice ill reply tomorow and theyve unmatched ahha my luck is zero and in real life i never tried atall so im no good
Dating apps has made me lazy which is probably why I’m still single
Like all these things they are not designed for you to find love, they are designed so that you will continue to use them and keep paying for the privilege.
I feel so sorry for all these poor people that think they have to use these apps just because everyone else is. So glad i never had to use those awful things, it is possible to meet someone nice in real life that doesn't use apps, me and missus are living proof, just takes a little time and patience, delete that shit now.
Meggie seems really nice.Glad she's decided to give up the apps.A total waste of time in my opinion...l don't bother any more,to be honest...
She was the only decent sounding person in the video.
Perhaps her expectations were too high.
As a gay man myself I can say that I've never used Grindr nor have any plans to.
Yes. **rolls credits**
I don't use dating apps anymore. Never had any luck with them. 40 and praying I meet my red thread soon.
@@simontemplar6898 I've met 3 people through FB but they're foreign. And, I'm no stranger to the BBC. Anglophile all the way, baby !
@@EBThisThat which bbc? 👀
@@Poetry4Peace The BBC we receive here shows reruns of KUA, Allo Allo, Fawlty Towers, and AYBS as well as AbFab
@@EBThisThat lol its joke just type BBC urban ahah..
@@Poetry4Peace Jokes sometimes don't translate on the interwebs well. XD
I pray Meggy met the man of her dreams. God bless her! Thanks for sharing. I learned more things about this. God bless you!
After all, this is also different for each person.
Dating is for validation seeking.. nothing more
Certainly messing with mine
I can see their IQ drop with every "like" they use
I’m still for serendipitous encounters in the real world. =)
I'm still hoping for a prince with a glass slipper
For guys it's very damaging
But also look at the cost to subscribe, it isn't cheap!
For the women there is always someone who might be taller and richer (in many ways it’s like being interviewed by the inland revenue) and for the small group of men who are successful on it, then there is always another lay.
Bruh this is a serious incel mentality, chill
@@beccakate8592 Because most men on there don't even have basic hygiene, alot of them have girlfriends already but won't tell you until you're 3 months emotionally invested already
@@beccakate8592 boo
Meanwhile boomers: What's a grinder?
Im 40 and obese my dating life is over
40 is still young though, you have a future (with or without dating apps) don't give up ✌️
Amanda Seyfried is married. What's the point?
Wow
Update soon?
I refuse to do online dating but do the right stuff in real life like putting myself out there by showing up to group activities with strangers. I’m not very good at it because I haven’t found anyone. I keep being told to try app dating but I can’t bring myself to it, years ago it was so emotionally draining and I dreaded it, I just can’t.
That much I'm going old school be signing for my pension by the time they get it right. U don't here the failures just the unequal scales but I'm not so good getting started it's good in general learning the hard way what a subject though .
Dating app sometimes works sometimes Not, my first relationship was found by App. But I think the last days I strive to get a love of someone by app but don’t know if it will carry out 😞 but I don’t blame that apps are bad at dating girls.
U get a match addicted
Yes. Also I heard that dating apps are programmed to cross the rarest human genomes. Going for the most exotic hybrids pairing different ones thru presenting like or not each swipe. Thats why when i swipe they call it joe exotic
I get a lot of matches, but no one speaks or has a great conversation. But, most only want sex and nothing more and it is depressing. One time i was on a date and the guy and i were having a great time at dinner. But, he picked up his phone and said he got a text, but i saw he was on the growlr app. I asked him about it and he said no just checking my text message and responding. But, i saw in the reflection of his glasses the phone screen and i told him so. I left the dinner immediately!
Lmao you should have ordered another drink and a dessert(tabs on him).. Also stop being so emotional, it was just a date, not like y'all were gonna get married that day. Date and have fun who cares what he does especially if y'all have not committed to each other. You should do the same as him.
@@Sunny_sideDee agreed. ..
@@Sunny_sideDee Would you invite several strangers on a first 'date?'.
Then don't swipe online dating apps when out with someone - it's rude.
@@Sunny_sideDee this is the problem! What happened to respect and courtesy? I wasn't trying to marry him, but you have to be there in the present. If you are nothing feeling a date, just say so and leave. The goal is to get to know the person, right? Or is the goal a dessert and a drink?
@@ZumbaZINJPanda When you desire top 10% who have tons of girls swarming on them. This is bound to happen deal with it.
Not surprised its portrayed as the guy who's not serious and the girls who's the victim of those types of guys. In reality women and men are using dating apps in just the se ways now, and both do the same toxic habits.
That women who said she's old fashioned and can't find a decent guy, it's not because there aren't many decent guys.. Its absolutely because she, just like many women on these apps prioritise the highest values guys OVER the 'safer' nicer options. It's why so you hear so many women complain, hypergamy is there own worst enemy because lets face it they arnt on these apps looking for Mr safe and average, they are looking for the top value guys (guys who they don't release have a plethora of options) and who often aren't looking to commit, and to try and nail down one of THOSE GUY'S and hope that he's a nice guy to them and treats them with respect. You can't blame the snake for biting you if you only wanna mess with snake's.
As a guy who used these apps for 5 years unsuccessfully and successfully, my advice to guys looking for genuine connection and a relationship is you have to become a fuckboi first to even get your foot in thr door to be considered for that. It's just the toxic nature of these apps and women play there part in fuelling the whole merry-go-round cycle.
Because most men on there don't even have basic hygiene, so it's not hard to get in the top 10. PLUS Yeah nature literally does work that way. It's seen in squirrels, cats, dogs, mice, birds, allllll animals literally. Only the top 10% of males can get a female. Point blank period. You don't like it? Go to the squirrel and scream at it for being unfair. Newsflash: Nature is unfair. All life is unfair. Some get cancer, some don't get chosen. Stop complaining and find something else that makes you fullfilled in real-life. You have absolutely NO RIGHT to demand a girl. Get real dude. Be happy girls even talk to you and look your way, because back then you wouldn't even have a chance to survive.
@@fleuramolly6169 I've no idea what your talking about but I'm pretty sure it's a load of rubbish that isn't even relevant to what my point way
@@lloyd99984 Are you illiterate? Read my post again.
@@fleuramolly6169Are you? It's IRREVANT to my comment. Assumptions and projections again..he said this so he must think this blah blah blah
@@lloyd99984 You will never get against the very code and instincts of nature. It's like me telling you to stop drinking the clean water and go to the safest pond which is full of dirt and drink from there. Mate, girls don't choose you because you don't get selected. This is natural selection you're whining about. I haven't seen in nature the lioness picking the "safer" ugly male lion, only the strongest, healthiest, most social and best males get selected. Again, don't blame nature. It's just the way it is. Deal with it.
Only scams so far!!!
A ridiculous over reaction to a modern version of a very old normality. Dating apps are simply the modern disco. Back in the 80s, I used to go clubbing with one single goal in mind. Every look, move and word was focused on playing the opposite sex - and they were playing the same game. It was all about the way he/she looked. Maybe it was a kind of addiction; definitely about keeping score. Nobody expected anything more than casual on-night-stands. Most people understood the rules of the game, a few let themselves get hurt. A few lucky people even found lasting love.
A few years and then I got bored and got on with my life. Yes, for some time after I felt emotionally "damaged" and had a problem forming lasting relationships, but that was the price I accepted to pay for having a few years of fun ... and there are much worse things to become addicted to.
Middle-class, BBC watching therapists, with their middle-class BBC watching patients can't believe how common people live because they've never been there themselves. Don't knock it 'till you've tried it.
meggy looks a little like cameron diaz!
Yes I believe I know why
As guy who used Bumble and Okcupid paid and non paid looking to date women. Bumble offered no benefit being paid. I only matched but they never talked to me. On Okcupid I saw no benefit if I was a lazy user. Once I got serious about Okcupid sending more messages than I care to admit I saw an increase in likes and responses (not paid). Once I started paying for A list while sending a lot of messages (more than 20 per day) I matched with even more. I went on about 5 different dates. None of which resulted in a relationship. If you put the work in you'll see results.
Yes!
And so is the BBC.
But where else can men meet women? Everywhere in the public realm it is dangerous to flirt, and reputations can be trashed. Even on dating apps we are reminded that 'no means no means no', and if a woman takes the initiative to declare that there is no point continuing after 8 dates then the man must immediately cease and desist from further attempts to change her mind. Overall, apps are part of the general trend of social decay as well as providing the only hope for 90% of increasingly confused men...
Yeah while I do agree that dating apps are trash, other venues also have their own ways of challenge
@@Ragiroth No pain, no gain.
Well said, from this 33 y/o and (I like to think) not totally insufferable woman. :)
I know it may not mean much coming from me, but you guys have to start talking to us again. I know rejection sucks but the alternative is that we retreat further into this sick dystopian virtual space where we will ultimately become apathetic about the concept of dating itself, and maybe even our own existence. Why date at all, why get married, why build a life with someone, why procreate, why put ourselves through any discomfort at all if we can get what we want just by pressing a button? You see what I'm saying? It will only get worse from here. Throughout history we have asked men to be brave. This time we're in is no different, though the challenge is less obvious.
I pray that we will get over this fear of each other that we've cultivated through our increased atomization. I hope that men and women will both find their courage to start talking to each other again, face to face. This is the only way we break down these walls and build back trust.
How's there only below 1000 views on this?
probably 'cos it's over 13 mins - a lot of folks don't have that "long" an attention span.
maybe if i find the honest girl i'll be for ever in the relationship with her,serious relations are rare now days.
Women should reach out more then the problem is solved
She puts all that makeup on and then keeps a nose ring on...
GO TO CHURCH INSTEAD
William T. Smith yea, I get a lot of fit guys there
Dating apps are really bad for our mental health, while I got hypnotized for quoting smoking I also got hypnotized to stop using Grindr, I’m happy to say hypnotism actually worked form me for both quitting smoking and Grindr . Every time I’m bored I get fully involved in my woodworking hobby