Narcissists move VERY fast in relationships. It's not uncommon to hear, “I love you", and/or be bombarded with love songs/texts/memes a few weeks after meeting them. By rushing into sex/intimacy, they fast-forward the relationship. They get their targets to fall for them before he/she can realize something is amiss. I believe this is also the reason they tend to be VERY good lovers. Sex is usually the “hook” in toxic relationships. Narcissists lack genuine personalities. So, they mirror their targets. If you find you have “so much in common" with a new person, your likes are their likes, and your dislikes are coincidentally their dislikes as well, raise your antennas! They may be mirroring you. This is the “soulmates" hook… You'll also notice that they'll spend more time telling you who they are, verses showing you. As time goes on, you'll notice the words they used to describe themselves do not fit their personality - at all. But, they will fit YOURS!!! Passive-aggressive behavior and irrational/unexplained anger, are also major red flags. Pay attention to how a person treats you the first time you say, “No”, and/or when things don't go their way… If they give you the silent treatment, grow cold, and/or pull away, do not overlook it! Most importantly, if someone pulls away, or goes silent, after you set a boundary - DO NOT pursue them! This is how they groom you to be the chaser in the relationship. It's emotional abuse/manipulation! Pay close attention to people who portray themselves as victims. NOTHING is EVER their fault! EVERYONE, including the family pet, has done them wrong… ALL of their ex's are “crazy” and mistreated them… They’re great, but no one appreciates said greatness… Simply put, it's bullshit! No one should have a laundry list of bad experiences. If they do, RUN, because they're the common denominator! Narcissists tend to have a history of failed/short-term relationships. Believe it or not, it's hard for Narcissists to find people to deal with them long term due to their instability and poor behavior… Superficial relationships/friendships. I've noticed they don't have anyone they're genuinely close to. This is due to their inability to bond and form true attachments to people. Their relationships are shallow and based on surface-level bs. They'll refer to someone as their bestfriend, but you’ll notice they barely speak. Or, that the person is never really around. Or, only shows up when it's time to party, etc. They may also speak down on/poorly of said “bestfriend” behind their back. Narcissists tend to be condescending, two-faced and downright mean! Based on my experience, they cannot talk about deep subjects (i.e. fears/emotions). Or, how a situation truly made them feel. Or, what their childhood was like in detail… They don't want to go there. I suspect, it's because they can't. They don't know themselves well enough. They can't connect. They also live in a world of dishonesty. They're very dishonest with themselves about who they truly are. A poor relationship with their Mother/primary caregiver. Underlying issues between Narcissists and their Mother's (abuse, neglect, don’t get along, etc.), seems to be common. People that I've known who've displayed strong Narcissistic tendencies, ALL had bad relationships with their Mothers! I think it's worth mentioning, their Mother's also displayed strong Narcissistic traits… I'm fully aware and understand that there are healthy adults who have toxic Mother's. However, if you're spotting several red flags in an individual, including this one, pay closer attention! They're selfish! Some are selfish from the very beginning. Some start out generous and slowly begin withholding. Some act helpless and needy. They manipulate people into doing things for them, but never give back. It's not only financial and material selfishness. They're selfish emotionally, affectionately, conversationally. sexually and with their attention. They withhold validation and support. EVERYTHING has to be about them, their needs, their wants and everything happens on their terms. Anger, rage, silent treatments and disappearing acts are common - when they don't get their way. Pathological lying. Narcissists are professional liars. It's their second nature. If you call them out, they'll have no issue staring deeply into your eyes as they tell another lie! You'll hardly ever get the truth. Even with unchallengeable proof of the truth, they'll hold on to the lie. It's actually quite fascinating to see them in action - once you know what you’re dealing with. They also have the uncanny ability to provoke doubt in their victims (even when you KNOW the truth), because their lies are so convincing! Beware of people who do not seek conflict resolution. Many Narcissists enjoy drama/chaos! Remember, these are high-conflict personalities. Many of them NEED to argue and fight! Peace to a narcissist, is what chaos is to non-disordered people - unsettling. This is why they repeat behaviors that trigger a negative response. They need tension, anger and high/out of control emotions. They're known for calling people crazy, drama queens, insecure, etc., but never admit what they did to provoke those responses. And, when you attempt to discuss/resolve something, THEY said/did, they’ll gaslight, stonewall and/or flip it back on to you. They're extremely disrespectful, rude and lack self-awareness. They have an issue with being called out on their behavior and project/deflect to avoid accountability. “Normal” people want to get along, for the most part. So, they seek fair compromises when conflict arises. Narcissists want to “win” and conflict IS their niche. This is how many Narcissists get their way - they wear people down via conflict. Immaturity. It’s one thing to be playful and lighthearted (in appropriate settings), as an adult. It’s something completely different to be immature. Narcissists suffer from arrested development. They do not know how to respond to situations/people/stress/life appropriately. They have a child-like mindset. They truly believe everything is about them and have no concept of the needs of others. By nature, children are takers. They have no concept of reciprocation. They believe their Parents (and everyone else), exists to meet their needs. When their needs aren’t met, or they don’t get what they want, they become mean and throw tantrums. Narcissists cannot think outside of themselves and their wants/needs - like children. They’re completely unaware that people are individuals with their own agency, needs, wants, opinions... They truly believe people exist to serve them. They believe their job is to receive. They’re children trapped in adult bodies, who cannot consider anything/anyone other than themselves! Above everything I've stated, trust your intuition! Narcissists give off an uneasy vibe. They try very hard to appear cool, calm and collected - on the surface. But, you can feel their energy. It's very off-putting. They also tend to have more noticeable negative qualities, than most people. But, you have to stop justifying and making excuses, in order to see things clearly. Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be. Observe, listen and trust yourself. No one should be allowed to grant themselves a position in your life. Vet people and YOU decide if they'll be a liability, or an asset, to you. Lastly, take cues from your body. If you ever feel your mood changing, feel anxious or feel your stomach knot up, in the company of someone, don't dismiss it! It could be a sign that you're in bad company!!! Additionally, If you’re considering hiring a private investigator for gathering evidence of infidelity in a divorce case, it’s crucial to choose someone with experience and discretion. I’ve come across MetaspyClub, who seem to offer reliable services in handling sensitive cases. If you’d like guidance, you can contact them at MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com. Make sure to understand your legal rights, set clear expectations, and follow their recommendations to ensure everything is handled appropriately.
One of the most evil aspects of the narcissist’s behavior, is their ability to convince even those closest to you that they are kind and loving. You end up looking like a paranoid nut
One thing they love to do is to dress up their malice and contempt as love and kindness and generosity. They give a whole new meaning to killing with kindness.
Yes, so true, I can imagine there is a lot more history behind your words, and you could never assess in its entirety, the cost of damage to you. I'm sorry this happened to you. I think I know what you have grieved.
I ignore my narcissistic husband, when he tries to berate me I put my fingers in my ears. I have moved out of the bedroom, I keep my door locked, I only speak when it’s absolutely necessary. Meanwhile I’m living my best life and preparing for divorce. I don’t think anyone should learn how to live with a narcissist. They are very sick individuals that only an act of God can heal. RUN!!!
If I lived with the individual that stalks me. He would find a way to unlock the door. He has broken into my home many times, breaks things that cost me money etc.
Absoutly devastad by the way they are like one of the comments children Imaturity To cover all there threats And deciet. Why l do not know But lm destroyed by this attitude. Loved one s die at there Selfish behaviour. Marie
Or they accuse YOU of being paranoid, thinking everybody's out to get you, when you react to the bullshit they themselves are responsible for creating.
Their version of being wrong is similar to this" I was wrong for believing you were the kind of person I could trust" so, it's not really a personal wrong, it somehow still tries to blame you lol
#1 thing to keep in mind- they have amnesia when it comes to anything you've done for them & anything they've done that could be considered hurtful. Total amnesia, delusions, & confabulations are impossible to prove or disprove- that's why they function in those realms...
Yeah my husband always lied about whatever situation was going on in the moment. No matter what it was it was always my fault, or when he was backed into a corner and couldn’t talk his way out he’d switch over to another topic or get irate and then blame me that he got irate. Even with my parents helping me to care for our daughter, he would still call and text them spreading all types of insane lies about me. I can only imagine the picture he has painted to those who do not know my side of the story and everything he has put us through. It has definitely gotten easier not giving him what he needs (responses, my anger, my hurt, over explaining when I want him to understand me, etc.). Praying for healing to anyone that has had to or is currently dealing with any form of a narcissist relationship. 🙏🏽❤️🩹
@@theglitterbombmom these people want door mats, scape goats, punching bags- they don't want real adult relationships and are NOT capable of building anything! They're destroyers of all. Leave the situation- as your child grows- they turn to the impressionable kids and will destroy your credibility with your child eventually turning the child against you or at least convincing her to go no contact with you or anyone else who knows the truth. Get into therapy with your baby if you can't leave!!!! Ask me how I know-
@@reneehouser2925 i got a protective order against him a couple of years ago and seperated. Wasn't able tp afford a lawyer then, but I'm currently going through my divorce and therapy over the years has definitely made me so much stronger. Never in a million years did I think I would be able to stand up to him in court. He tried to bully me into signing divorce papers that were his terms only, and he did not win! He has been acting out ever since, but I'm just using the tools I have been given over the years to keep my baby and I sane, and to finally free myself of this marriage. EDITED FOR AN UPDATE: We went to court. I walked in with no lawyer while he and his lawyer were present. I just walked in intending to speak my truth and nothing more. Thank the heavens he had to get on the stand first. They pretty much handled the entire hearing without me. He was caught up in some lies and spent the majority of his time trying hard to slander me, which the judge was able to keep flipping back on him. I still havent gotten the final decisions from the judge, but having the strength to go in there alone and not allow him to trigger me or continue to lie on me felt really amazing. There is hope 🙏🏽
💯 truth. My abusive mother swears my childhood was perfect. The truth was there was coldness and neglect alternated with beatings with brooms and shoes. The truth means nothing to a narcissist. 😢
They try to re-write history or an event that happened to make themselves look like the victim, when in reality, it was them that caused the problem to begin with.
Yes, and unless you were threatened in some way with bodily harm, if you allowed yourself to be manipulated, then that's totally your fault. You have nobody to blame, but yourself.
Trust your gut. That knot that you always have in the pit of your stomach. The overthinking you have to do about every conversation or interaction. The thinking through how you’re going to have a conversation to get them to notice you or understand you… All of it is not normal. They will tell you that you’re overreacting or dramatic. They will tell you that you’re being overly sensitive… But you’re spot on. Give yourself time to analyze and unpack the turmoil/living hell you lived in, but don’t live in the analyzing . I continued, and still continue, to realize… Oh… So this was all part of the narcissism too… it is so deep and sick that you could spend the rest of your life analyzing and unpacking it. You have to give your thinking some boundaries. I actually had to set a timer and tell myself… OK you get an hour to think about this today and then you’re doing what is on your agenda. Oh… and… make yourself an agenda or list and DO IT …. Sometimes I had to force myself just to brush my teeth and get a shower… But you must stick to some sort of schedule. Forgive yourself for being vulnerable. I couldn’t get over the 23 years I had wasted. I couldn’t stop beating myself up for not being smarter and stronger quicker. I had to remind myself that I was the perfect match. As an only child of older parents, I was younger when they died and I had no family. His family became my family and he knew he had me. I had to remember my intentions were good and decent and God will honor what I did. I wanted to keep the family together and believe that no one could be as evil as his actions were showing me. Make safe changes. You don’t want to make big changes like changing jobs or moving across the country, although there are people that have no choice and have to do this. But make small changes like your hair color. Drive a different way to work. Wear a different style. As much as possible… spoil yourself. Do what you need to make yourself feel pretty or handsome. Order the decadent chocolate cake. Never feel ashamed. I remember that some people treated me like I was that homeless person that they felt sorry for but if they didn’t look it would all go away. I was embarrassed and ashamed. The beautiful part about it is I found out who really does care about me. You don’t have to have a lot of blood relatives to have family. You will find the people that mean the most; There will be loyal friends who you can let yourself be raw with… let it happen. Do no start looking for a relationship! I initially remember feeling as though I had to go out with people to feel desirable and flattered. I was in no way ready to be a partner to anyone until I could tell myself “You still got it girl!” and really believe it. NEVER look back or second guess yourself! It will never get better if you go back. And they will try to get you back. There’s never break up with a narcissist. As long as you allow it, they will continually try to get in touch with you and lead up to begging you to come back. It feels flattering but it is empty and meaningless. My ex-husband who ended up with a very young girl who has emotional and mental problems (I was her mentor in our church) has recently tried to ask me to give him just “one more chance” 5 days after the girl broke up with him. Every single time he did this In the past, The forgive me speech and crying was the same and his behavior was even worse with each time I went back. This is an addiction for you.. not love and addiction is hard to kick. Speaking of addiction… be careful not to pick up any others … pills, alcohol, shopping Train your thoughts. Don’t let the tail wag the dog. When you start to go down that path of negative thoughts and telling yourself life is going to be forever gloom and doom, remember that being apart from this monster is THE BEGINNING of a new life and the pain will lift. You were more alone and in danger with them than away from them. That’s it… buoy…. Ya! Take care of yourself. This healing needs all the healthy habits you can muster. When you’re feeling as though you’re having a strong moment, and you will see a pattern of times that you feel a bit stronger, pre-plan meals so that when you’re feeling really bad all you have to do is get in the refrigerator and heat something up. Put toothpaste on the brush so all you have to do is pick it up. Take melatonin to get rest. Take vitamins/supplements. NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT…. Forever… you are doing this to heal not to get a reaction out of them or try to get them to love you. Keep talking to other survivors and remember that you are just that… A SURVIVOR. There will come a day that you will be helping others. Never feel bad for them. My ex-husband‘s mask has finally come off and he can’t keep the façade up anymore. It is pathetic. My adult children know not to discuss what is going on with him with me and I don’t ask. Don’t ask!!! They will look for every opportunity to tug on your heartstrings. Don’t wallow in thinking they are happy. They are desperately unhappy. They will never be happy and will delight in any weakness they see in you, so again…. ZERO ZILCH CONTACT or GRAY ROCK flat, noncommittal tone with as few words as possible. Count your blessings I remember looking at everybody around me and thinking how happy and lucky everybody else looked. Everybody has stuff going on. Yours is just super big at the moment. So look for blessings . I thanked God for little things that weren’t so little… a job close to home, my frig worked, I didn’t catch a cold from my first grade class (again.. take care of yourself). Some days it seemed ludicrous that there was a blessing, but sometimes the blessings were the things God Prevented from happening. Keep track of your progress. Three years away from my husband, looking back at my journey, I cannot believe how far God has brought me. You will be a new, better version of you if you don’t let the tail wag the dog. Knowledge is power. Read everything you can about this but again… Set boundaries for yourself… don’t stay stuck Boundaries boundaries boundaries I started to realize that I didn’t have boundaries set for myself at all. It was easy for people to tell me the way it was going to be and just assume that it would just be that way without me standing up for myself. Find confidence in putting your needs and emotional health first. You are not being selfish. Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: Barryinvestigation@gmail. com.
@ Mary Harris come and hang out with me sometime. You would not believe the staggering number of narcissist that have infiltrated my life and that are around me at all times. Not just people I know either. We're talking people who run hotels I stay in; people who work at the gas station; people everywhere. I just had the manager of a hotel I stayed at recently keep my $150 deposit that she asked for in cash, claiming I stole a robe and ruined a towel and a pillow with my hair color. She claimed the robe was $50 so I guess they're all fifty bucks each. I had the feeling when I first got there that she didn't want me there for some reason and it only stayed there one other time a few months ago. As I was checking in she accused me basically that's how I took it anyway, of planning to bring a bunch of rowdy people from their sister hotel to party which wasn't even the case and I don't know how she connected those dots. But she did by asking me if I'd ever stayed at that other hotel before and I said yes because I had. She then tells me she doesn't want any people from that hotel coming there when I don't even hang out with people who stay there I just stay there because I like the freaking room that has the jacuzzi in it. The feeling around her felt hostile and accusatory and so I believe now she planned at that point to keep my cash deposit and used anything she possibly could to do so. She was totally nice to me the last time I stay there so I don't know what changed or what happened but she's very threatened by me for some reason. I can't say she's a narcissist for sure but definitely toxic and who does that? Asks for a cash deposit and then makes up stories in order to keep it? This is just one of many many things that has happened to me in recent times and I'm tired of it. I feel like I have a Target on my back and they're all shooting at it.
It's the real pandemic. I completely agree. I grew up surrounded with narc parents, other family and at work, in friends etc. I realize that I was groomed to find them but nonetheless they are everywhere especially when you become more aware to what they are, demonic possessed humans
So many,and too many,trust no one ,till you completely healed,and know/ set/ know your boundaries, then you will see so clearly, and aways walk with God🙏
There are less then few percent. It just that they are charming and confident and they often have multiple partners. So it gives the illusion like there is a lot
When they realised you are so strong and no longer blinded by their lies . They will use the childrens, because the kids are the only thing that matters to you Heartbreaking 😞
Mine tells my oldest 7 and 11 yo daughters that I am selfish, don't love them and I only love and care about their 4 yo brother. He tells them I didn't want girls and wasn't happy to have them. After 11 years of questioning myself why he treats me like a garbage I found an answer online. When I confronted him and told him that I know what he is he treated me as I didn't exist at all. Silent treatment, no reply even to message despite us living under the same roof. Lifelong atheist started going to church yet I still see what pile of garbage he is. Everyday is a struggle for me: depression, anxiety, zero self esteem, no energy or desire to do anything. House became a mess and I hate myself for that. Just his presence drains me.
It sad because it should be a parents job by example and teaching them how to act towards others and themselves. Biblical standards also educate against being high minded, self absorbed and codependent etc. But that starts at home too.
@@beachybird1251 Well said. My 'mother' actually went so far as to spread ridiculous lies to all my aunts, uncles, cousins and anyone else who would listen, in an effort to alienate me and keep them from hearing any truth about her. This went down after I finally found my voice later in life and became a perceived threat to her. As for those foolish relatives who bought her deranged nonsense, I thank them for helping me to accept that I must have been switched at birth - there is just too much evidence of stupid genes throughout those people. You are absolutely correct - this kind of nonsense is abusive. Karen
That’s correct they know people are swayed so easily by what they hear (lies/gossip) and how powerful it is they a,so know who to use as a megaphone and when to do it….. it something that compassionate people just don’t do …. They are trash
@LockdownSpinning oh hon...that's a heavy situation to be in. Guard your heart. Spend time alone to recharge. If you believe in God, spill your guts and your feelings and purge. My mom is 86 and is having great difficulties now. However, she is very cooperative - for now.
@LockdownSpinning It's the same here, but since she's gotten older and disabled she now understands (as do I) that we have to cooperate with each other in order to survive. It helps that she is a Christian because she tries to see it for what it now is. If that makes sense. At the end of the day it's all about how much I deeply love her, big ole "warts" and all. Very soon she will be greatly missed, Carry on kiddo. ✌
@LockdownSpinning Hey - I'm one of those people you can talk with if you like. Well, message with. The only person I talk on the phone with is my 86+ year old mom. 😂 True story. Edit: P.S. My mom knows everything too. ☺
Many heartfelt hugs to all who are suffering due to someone's NPD. I thought I had the worst situation, but after reading the comments on this page, my heart goes out especially to those who have really horrible situations, especially situations involving kids. GROUP HUG INSERTED HERE FOR ALL WHO'VE BEEN DEGRADED, USED, ABUSED, AND STRESSED OUT TO THE MAX BY NPD.
yes, the level of humilitation is UNREAL how low these creatures can really really go..my heart is also for the people invlving kids..Oh My God..I pray and I respect forever any survior from narcisist abuse. You must feel PROUUUD as this is not easy and I do not think everyone escapes safetly and alive from this type of cases. I am still amazed I survived..the cruelty is unreal and sadism and gaslighting..
I have lived 47 years with an NDP husband. It has been hail but after listening to you and other people am relieved and now know how to treat him. Thats if I can hang on for a while. I have nothing because of him no progress at all but missery. Thank you for you.😢
They will discard. If you are "too strong" it means they know that they can't get reality to reflect back that they are in control. Too strong means they can't break you or control you. They will discard you, but before that they will make attempts. If they fail they find somebody new
Truth!! I had a "best friend" do this...they also twist reality to make them look helpless, which is not true! They actually hold you in contempt for being hurt by their shenanigans... it's messed up.
What with one of my big ones, I acted like I was weak until the moment when the ball was in my court. After many years of us starting out together and then breaking and then going back and forth a bit. I kept him on the line acting like I was just waiting for him to be ready. He finally came around and called just when he had always said he would (in x number of years). And then I REJECTED. Lol. He came back 3 years after that to try and make me jealous of his current relationship. Hahaha. That was the moment I knew for sure that I had made the right decision in letting him go. The saddest thing about that one though was that he was not like that when I met him. He was sweet and attentive, if not a little bit too "positive"for my taste. It was whatever on that. But then he got involved in organizations that changed him. It really stinks to watch someone become a slave to a system that doesn't even give a rat's ass about them when you love them so deeply to begin with.
When they see you happy and content they will covertly present as create a situation that only you know is meant to affect you in a negative way. They hate seeing people happy.
I agree - they really enjoy other people's misfortunes and, if you're actually having a good life, they'll create a situation and put a negative slant on something so that you think you aren't.
so true ,but what they dont know and believe is that god is all knowing and the power they have is just a test for both of us which we both will be judged based on,how they abused the power god let them hold for a short period of time and how we stand againts their abuse and evil behavior may god guide them and proctet us from all
The thing that ultimately defeats a narcissist is their own Karma. What they put out always returns to them….if not in an an exact form, then in a form of equal value….I’ve seen it time and again, and beyond coincidence. Remember, the world is your mirror, what you see is the result of your beliefs, intentions, thoughts and actions. If you don’t like what you see in your experience, then change your beliefs, thoughts, or intentions and actions and your world and people around you will change…it’s physics.
@@stevenlight5006 You aren't wasting time when picking up pieces of the carnage these people leave you to deal with. Saying someone is wasting time is insulting.
Before I was with the narc,I was a super strong woman, he beat me down mentally and emotionally, it was never physical,we disagreed on things,but his anger never got out of control,he was either too scared of me or he hid it. When he discarded me,I felt like I was trash and have been working on my self esteem and loving myself for 8 months since the discard. Turning your back away from the narc is not easy, bc they manipulated you into thinking you were their number 1 and would not leave you,as a result of that they love bomb you and form a trauma bond with you,so you feel stuck and you won't want to leave them. They are not worth your breath and I'm sorry they are a waste of space on this earth,they're very evil and enjoy leashing physical and emotional and mental pain on you. RUN FROM THE NARC!!! YOU ARE JUST A MEANS TO AN END!!! YOU ARE AN OBJECT TO THEM,NOT A PERSON.
Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
I didn't hear one narcissistic trait described, you people abuse the hell out of words. Basically a narcissist to y'all is any man who's ever hurt or lied to you. Cut it out and while you're at it feel free to indent the walls of textual drivel you type online.
This!!! Spot on like how my Ex Narc was. I was with him for 6 yrs and he treated me like pure crap. While faking his love for me the entire time. Told me his mom was a narc so we could “triangulate” her, once he was done with that, now they “best friends” yet he’s had issues with his mom and past exes. I was the only one who cared about him. It’s sad. I don’t know who I am and trying to figure out my life now with kids and other issues
The best antidote for a narcissist and generally what everyone should have before going into any relationship is knowing that you are enough. Let the earth shake with your self-worth and let every fiber of your being bear witness with you that you are ENOUGH. Anybody that cannot see you in this light should not be allowed access into your life. Period. Having being a victim of narcissistic abuse, I honestly cannot wish it on my enemy. No one deserves to go through the mental trauma this thing brings.
This is my exact point of view: I cannot wish this not even on my enemy. Every person who survives narcisism abuse-5,5 years in my case done by an ex manager harrassment, gaslighting, prohibited to get a job, lost my apartement, my friends..I did not know these creatures exists on earth..I knew nothing about narcisism or psychopathy...0 help from police, friends, sister ANYONE...took a tool on my mental health but I have become very religious I was but now..I am very close to God.
I wish the internet and podcast like this were available 40 year ago. It would have saved me 23 years being married to a narcissist . I was strong. After 23 years I manifested physical symptoms including panic attacks from not having control of my own life. Good for YT.
I lost everything from being with a narcissist. God lifted me back up though. The narrator is right. They will destroy your life and steal everything. The worst are the ones with money because the flying monkeys will really help them because they are money motivated even if they know the person is a narcissist. Friends and family will become corrupted. You become the monkey in the middle and can't get out, they will pick away at your flesh and soul. Narcissists are from the Devil
I escaped mine. Fortunately she isnt my biological mother, and is in rapid decline after i exposed her. I still think, i was quite kind considering what she did and the pain and damage she caused.
Unless you are the son. I was and none of that crap stuck to me. However I cannot read a woman for beans, I always get run over by modern women. They fool me quite easily! well at least 6 years ago they did. I stoicly observe all now and keep my head on a swivel. Clown world gonna get really crazy soon. Keep safe and observant. These spirits are everywhere now.
Do the exact opposite of whatever they insist you be, say, behave, etc. Don’t cater to them, say what you mean, mean what you say. When they exceed your boundaries, take immediate action. Don’t lose your cool. When they start yapping, take your keys and leave. You do have control. Do not share your goals, dreams, ambitions. They will thwart your efforts. If you pay attention, are generous and complimentary to others be prepared for jealousy and backlash. Do NOT intertwine you monies. Be prepared to leave in a planned and well timed way. If you are divorcing them, it’ll be a circus, they try to bankrupt you. They are toxic people, they erode your self-confidence, will keep you off-balance and make you question yourself. If you turn the table on them, it’s a bit scary as you feel like to are taking on THEIR traits. Do what you need to do. Protect yourself, be smart, and keep in mind they encourage learned helplessness. It makes you more dependent on them. These energy vampires will suck the energy out of you and it takes a toll on your mental, emotional and psychological health. Educate yourself about these soulless meat suits walking the earth.
Well said!! I was in so-called therapy but very little direct information. This is much more helpful!! I’m presently working on finding a therapist that truly can be helpful. Not sure I need another therapist after listening to this!!! Excellent insight on this video!!!!! Thanks for your insight as well!!!!
@@cathie1234 I wish you the best. Many of these therapists are so uninformed, think it’s a fad. 2 out of 10 people you meet have narcissistic traits, out of 20 people you may find 1 NPD/psychopath (J.D. Tudor on TH-cam) fo example catalogs how they operate. Narcissist Chronicles provides the tools you need, the support and examples of how to handle them. 3 years it took me to work through it, get a divorce and spend a fortune trying to escape. Gray Rock conversation is a bit maddening to them. Talk about anything irrelevant to them, they get deeply frustrated if they can’t ruffle your feathers. Some resort to hiding, destroying your things, they are toddlers, lie so much they forget what they said. Document everything. Then go back and read it, you’ll find it’s no wonder you are anxiety ridden, fearful, untrusting, afraid of being alone, co-dependent, financially compromised. Nope, therapists that don’t have a core capability to “get it” dispose of their service bc you are wasting valuable time. Lastly, exercise self-care, establish a routine. Get up, dress up, put on some lipstick, try to get grounded in nature. Why people continue to carry on feeding their egos, not blocking ALL social media, etc is amazing to me. If you have kids, there are CLASSES and instructionals on how to co-parent with these bottom feeders. My gosh, after you get through to the other side, you’ll feel like you got paroled from prison.
best way to deal with them? respond as little as possible to their words or actions, until you can safely leave permanently. everything you say and do will be used against you.
The part about slandering you to people who know you is often not spoken about, they can also slander you to people in their circle who know you too to get them on side.
You’re right! They enjoy watching you plead to be understood. I explained myself for decades to my narc dad and sister in so many ways that my intentions were good when I was accused of doing something and found myself at wits end constantly. It took me to my late 50’s to realize they don’t want to “understand” and they liked watching me defend myself. It was like their feeding frenzy. The cognitive dissonance is awful. Especially when it’s your blood family of origin, and they lie, embellish and make you the bad guy….always 😢
You sound like me, with the exception of my dad .. it's my sister that has been using me as her mindless slave starting at the age of 11 , shi twelve years older than me so for the past forty years of my life I've had to walk on egg shells so as not have the wrath that she would lash out on me , she also did that to our mom throwing tantrums. Now not only do I have my narcissist sister but her flying monkey of a husband to deal with during holidays which I'm already dreading 😟
@@kencarson7310 oh I’m so sorry! I haven’t had contact with my dad or sister in 3-4 years now, and our holidays have been so much better. It’s difficult to go no contact, but so worth it. God bless you!
I understand what you are saying. I had to finally say “that’s it” when my father refused to do anything about my narc sister and cut contact. It took me almost 50 years to do it and I wasn’t speaking to either one of them for the next 18 months until he died. I went back for the funeral for one day and then skipped back out again. It was sad that he refused to defend my mother and I from her. Would I make the same decision to go no contact even 7 years after he died and 9 years after I made the decision, you bet. It preserved my sanity.
@@bmbutler2 thank you for your message. I would imagine it was hard going to the funeral. I just don’t know what I will do when that time comes, or even when someone from the family passes away, because my dad has smear campaigned against me with such crazy lies. It’s like darned of you do, darned if you don’t. But they are the pretenders, and their flying monkeys and fans they have bought are fooled for whatever money or pity they are throwing out there. It’s all a shame. God bless you
The one thing that a narcissist hates is when you show them proof of something they've done to others around you in front of the narcissist. That just infuriate the living hell out of them. This way, everyone sees the narcissist true colors and it's never pretty. But the narcissist has to deal with it, and you don't, so don't apologize, period a narcissist doesn't deserve one.
✨️My mom and brother✨️ they've gotten so much worse to just think I have abandonment issues from the man claiming me as a toddler & him running away when I was 3 my mom was all I had and a few years ago I couldn't imagine leaving her it takes alot to push someone with abandonment issues to strive to leave that person I cannot wait to escape here
They will dismiss you. They will assume they are being attacked whenever you disagree with them voicing their hate for others. Staying calm and unaffected is the only way to live through any encounter with said narc.
Don't entertain a clown or you become part of their circus...I DON'T CARE about how they feel... period..if they choose to behave that way ( and it IS a choice) then I will tear them down in ways that if anything might jar them n hopefully they will decide to want something better ..do NOT let ppl make you think that it's not something that they can change..that's a bunch of BS
Never tell a narcissist your secrets! Or any significant personal information. Keep it casual and tell them you don't want to hear any gossip. Period, no venting to me either, keep it positive only, they don't like that, then go no contact.
So sadly true. I had to leave my narcissistic sister after 72 yrs of her berating me. I believed her. We were born on the same day, BUT I was born on her birthday. No contact since she told me November 2021 that I was permitted to call her, but not to go visit. I said, "Goodbye and I won't call " I did not even go to my little sister's funeral because I knew she would be there. My little sister's husband said, "She behaved herself " Incredibly sad to live with this.
@@daveedwards7366 Agreed! There is no fight back. They don't even care enough to even try to understand how you feel. I tried for 70+ years to be good enough. Nope!
Exactly!!! I spoke to close friends and all one could say is he’s been like this since they were kids. Okay now we are grown, tell that man his mind is gone lol. Idk, but I lived with my narc for 6 yrs and have been gone any four months, I see his fb post abt me and they are so many lies idk. It’s like he still drives me crazy even when I’m not with him
@@Sexy-Chocolate23 And in my case that i am like a polite person and respect People of all kinds races no matter what but i have a short fuse so once my bag is full and i see that is not an isolated act its a pattern i take action and say things like they are , and still they are capable of make you look to evryone like wrong to act towards the disrespect the neglect the minimizing the invalidating beyond belief and i study psychology since i was 17 so it is mind boggling no one can see it .
Narcissist will use any tact they can to use and abuse you and make you feel like you're to blame for everything. They need to be shut down and out. Thanks for this video.
Especially, after they create their own drama by twisting facts to their own advantage, then when they get caught, it's everybody's fault but their own.
The only way to deal with a Narcissist is to ignore them completely and stay one step ahead of their BS, their flying monkeys, and their water bugs... Keep your family and friends far away because the narcissist will want to follow you to all your gatherings. Leave them home alone to deal with themselves. The less people they know, the better you are. They will only do to your friends what they have done to you.
As an adult I got very sick and had to move home for several years. My father has always been abusive. I started standing up to him and after him telling me twice that he would hit me in the face if I didn't shut up, I left and called the police. I had warned him not to threaten me and if he did I would call the police (big tactical error on my part). I found out later that he called attorneys and was going to try to claim ELDER abuse. They are total cowards and will go to any lengths to destroy you.
Oh wow... one time when I was 1st an adult, my younger brother and his friend wanted to stay the night while I was out of town.. so I let them. My brother was around 15 at the time. Well my dad came to my apartment complex, spoke to my manager... saying that I was harboring runaways and trying to get me kicked out of my home and in trouble with the law. I literally was two towns away and had no idea what was going on? I was doing my kid brother a favor not trying to hide him. My dad was very verbally and occasionally physically abuse to all us kids so I assumed my brother just need a break from his house and he left my house the very next day before I even returned home. I totally feel for you... narcissists are the worst!! I have been zero contact with him since 2020.
Best thing is to go dark. Move, get a new job. Don't get mail at your address, get a p.o. or UPS box. I had one who stalked me for 15 years. Now there is another one my ex landlady's drug addicted nephew who claims he was in the military. I don't think he has ever worked he has always lived with her. He put tracking equipment on my car. I am going to build my case on this dirtbag and if the local cops can't help, I will go to the feds because he uses and sells drugs. I am done with this crap. I pray his aorta ruptures and he dies when he smokes his crack or someone shoots him or runs him over. Maybe I can get state or federal legislation enacted when this is over and done with.
One day my narc mother pushed me and I pushed her back. She didn't fall barely looses a step but she called the police on me. When the police arrived I told them she pushed me first and she agreed ( she thinks that because she's my mother she has the right to abuse). The cops told her that's she's lucky all I did was push back and that they would have responded the same way I did 😂. She was sooooo embarrassed. It was awesome
Everything about this is absolutely correct. I’ve done a bit of research on narcissism, because it happened to me. It’s almost 12 years since I left a sociopathic psycho (which is a form of narcissism) after 5 years of living hell. He abused me in every way; emotionally, verbally, psychologically, and yes, physically. The beatings were bad, but the psychological abuse was worse- the controlling, the fear, the threats…. And always making himself look like the perfect husband whilst dragging me down to his level and slowly dragging me away from my family and friends. Thank you for listening. Thank you so much for sharing this. I truly hope this helps whom ever needs to hear what you’ve said.
What you said is so true I have been through all that you said I even end up in the hospital with heart failure but thank God I am ok now with the help of no contact
Becouse when you are teen bride you do not know and he was a year older gone now but i have neaver been the same every one thought he was wonderfull his dad told him keep them fare foot and pregnet he did and got too my kids,
Took me 40-something years to realize my lil old Black mother, who sits in the front pew at church, is a narcissist. As Black children-especially male children-we are not taught to be critical of our mothers. Society teaches us to rip our Black fathers to shreds; but we never examine our mother’s behavior… Furthermore, the stereotype of a narcissist is that of a well-educated, sophisticated, successful white male. But there are a lot of Black mothers with high school diplomas working as secretaries and grocery store cashiers who are narcissists.
@@LK-ii6xu My father passed away, even as my parents were married nearly 50 years…Somehow, without the benefit of a college education, he, my father, being our family’s primary breadwinner, managed to put two (2) boys (my brother and I) through private, parochial middle- and high schools, and even help support us in university. So please save your phony compassions. Like it or not, there are some horrible Black mothers out here, absolutely diabolical. One need only look at the state of our community, the pews of our churches, inside the prisons, there’s a common thread running through each-Black children born out-of-wedlock raised by single Black mothers. Statistically speaking, we know that is the greatest indicator of troubled young adults: teen pregnancy; criminal activity; mental and behavioral problems; underemployment; unemployment; lack of education; drugs… We spent the previous forty (40) years, the Oprah morning talk show era, examining the role of Black fathers, or lack thereof; it’s past time we do the same for Black mothers. There’s a reason so many of today’s educated, “successful” Black men raised by single Black mothers are becoming “Passport Bros”… can’t blame all of it on colorism; some of them had mothers who were nothing short of evil.
@kisswriters, much of the problem is "absent" Blk fathers. It's easy to point the finger at the single Blk mother, when in actuality, a people group meets its demise when the man (the supposed head) is out of order. I do hope you work through your anger and heal. If males operate from a bitter place, no passport in the world will help them to attract a good woman who is mentally and emotionally healthy. (I'm glad you admit that passport bros have mommy issues)
If you think you may be with a narcissist, get out and run as fast as you can. You may feel love for them and it may hurt to leave but it’s the best thing you can do for your own well-being. Give them the chance and they will do their best to destroy you, your relationships with family and friends and you will end up doubting your own sanity.
So true. I lost my best friends, I lost my sister. I was alienated from everyone and finally I was a broken down heap of nothing until one day a teenager told me I’m involved with a narc. A Flippin teenager had to tell my 42 year old self. She told me to look on TH-cam. I never saw her again. And now I’m back. No more BS. But what a journey I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy
Im so hurt, scared and betrayed of thinking this person was good but im an idiot for not leaving sooner, I had no knowledge of this love bombing, and all these other slimy tricks they use. Im in process of running and its not easy but can't wait till im free. 😢
@@joekara Best advice I could give you is to keep focused on your future. Don’t be sucked back in. Took me a while to get my life back together but the struggle was worth it. Very happy and content now and wouldn’t change it for anything. You can get there too.
@@slumdogjay thanku, I feel like im gonna get sucked back to the friendship but I hv to realise the abuse and actually stick to my boundaries of why I needed to leave in the first place.
@@joekara Exactly. Sounds like you are on the right track. When you feel you may be getting sucked back in just think about how bad things got. Also think about having to start all over again if you did go back. You would just be wasting more time which would be better spent focusing on yourself and making a better life. It’s not easy but it really is worth it in the end. You will get through this and be a stronger happier person for it in the end. I sincerely wish you the best of luck. You can do it.
It's common for relationships to encounter obstacles, but there is always a solution. My own marriage faced considerable issues, but with appropriate guidance, my husband and I worked through them and deepened our connection. Solutions are achievable if you're ready to work together. Stay hopeful-there's always a way forward.
I'm facing significant relationship problems and can't stand the idea of losing him. My love and longing for my partner are profound, and I'm ready to do anything to restore our connection. I would greatly appreciate any advice or help you could give.
Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. His name is Father Akunna.
I just searched for Father Akunna online indeed he is a very generous man and the most powerful spell caster that I have ever seen he brought my husband back to me with so much love ❤
Get creative at shutting them down in ways that amuse you n they hate that...I've got a gift for that..I upset them now as I laugh at them while I blast them..
My mother-in-law is a narcissist. Every time she visits, it's so emotionally draining and overwhelming. At first I had no idea what was going on, I didn't understand what was happening.... I've only recently began to discover what this was all about. More people need to talk about this and make this known. It plays with your mind, that's for sure. Thank you for your vid and your information.
If you absolutely have to “deal” with a narc, I would recommend to keep firm bounderies, and keep your distance at the same time. As a second choose on how to deal with the narcissist I would recommend keeping firm boundaries and also to correct them every time they missteps, lie, manipulates etz. When your boundaries are not respected by the narcissist, you need to follow through with consequenses of bad behaviour. You will have your hands full going forward this way. When following through with consequenses to their “re”actions, you explain to the narc, that you are not one of the narc`s victims. You have no intentions of becoming one but will be a nuisance to the narcissist in a way that is irritating to him/her. This method is not risk free but narcissists will often choose the path of no or low resistance. This method is a time consuming path to chose. This route sometimes require more time than you would like to spend on these issues. You feel that distancing yourself all together would have been easier. That is however not always possible. Often there is no way to avoid him/her. You unfortunately have to deal with the narcissist because you are colleagues or close family. You must think through what you need the narcissist to respect and what arias of conflict you must pay extra attention to, to keep your integrity and to detect manipulative behavior. Be prepared and clear in your communication and stick to your guns. Try to stay under the radar as much as you can, even when this method is the best for you. A way that works as well is to play along with the narcissist and act like you agree with everything they do and say. This method works well until many people in the narcissists sphere do the same. When everyone agrees with the narcissist you are back on square one. The narcissist must have victims and this setting is no different. To go NO Contact is another good alternative and method, and is probably the best option when it is possible to cut all contact permanently. Additionally, If you’re like me you might want to consider monitoring your partner device it can be done through a variety of methods such as setting up a dedicated app or else you get in touch with this private investigator Metaspyhub@gmail. com that is genuine to make your request done successfully with 100% guarantee.
Guys! I am two weeks out of moving out of a bad situation with a narcissist and it's been the most positive and happy two weeks I've had in years in spite of how stressed I am! Edit: 5 weeks out and it has gotten sooooo much better even more! I feel more myself, less anxious, less stressed and mentally chaotic, and it's been so nice not having heard hateful things said to me in over a month.
Don't be stressed. You will start a new life. Beware of attracting another one. Time to go forward and live a happy life. Don't let another like this back in to your life. There are good times out there. It is always hard leaving this situation behind but when you look back you'll be glad.
@@sfc5774 thank you! I am now 5 weeks out and my life has continued to dramatically improve! My well being is like night and day. I can't believe how awesome it is to have that element of my life not causing me to so much stress and pain. Thank you all for the encouragement!
@@aethrya You might find things tough but you will get your self esteem back and peace of mind. No relationship is better than a bad one. I truly think that.)You will get things together (if you haven't already) and remember you are no 1 now. If you are happy you will attract happiness. Even bad situations don't last forever usually. You will be on track onwards and upwards. Good luck for your new future.
"The narcissist's goal is to gain their trust, so they may treat them like mindless servants." Yes. This is where I have blindy been in my marriage the last 19 years. I always wondered why he never trusted me, why he treated me like a lower being that wasn't capable of standing in my own two feet. Constantly criticizing, making me feel stupid. Cutting down my self esteem and being verbally and emotionally abusive. His needs always came first and he always had some logical reason why they should. It makes me sick that he did this to me and that it took me so long to try and get out with my kids. Narcissists are controlling, underhanded, two-faced lying a-holes who will suck the life of of you until you literally have nothing left to give, and then they will try to take more. Don't let it get as far as I did.
26 years married to a narc who is now my ex for going on 6yrs. I know how you feel, they steal your youth, vitality, and mind. I’m glad you got out. May we both find the peace that we deserve.
Just like my last boss. It took me two years to figure out what was going on and I did so much research I could write a book on narcissism. I actually believed all his lies and manipulation until I had my eyes opened to narcissism. Best day of working there was two years ago today when I left him a resignation letter and the door key while he was out of town not knowing that he was walking back into our game of chess with me making the “checkmate” move. I work at a great place now with great people. That guy? He’s gone through 3 employees besides myself in those 2 years.
I do hope you get out soon, it took me 26 yrs to get out. Fortunately he already had a girlfriend at work so he didn't spend to much time trying to track me down
It's an unbelievable thing to read the comments below and realize that people who are strangers to me are going through the SAME, EXACT THINGS I'm going through. I can tell by reading one-sentence comments the types of CRAP this person has gone through. My heart goes out to all who are suffering and victimized by narcissism.
I had my words used as their defense. The gaslighting, constant talking over, constant redirection of conversations, the rage if you even bring up anything that they may have done wrong.
This is the first time someone has mentioned the hellbent on plundering your resources, intent on thoroughly destroying you aspect! Financial ruin hasn't been mentioned in any of the dozen or so videos I've already watched. Thank you for all this information! Well done.
Absolutely. It happened to me and I am currently stuck. Now that I know, when I get unstuck I'm staying that way. I believed he would appreciate my efforts and would do right by me. I was wrong.
financial ruin, simply trying to destroy your health,physical health, mental ..inner circle, firends, foreigners. I honestly believw these people should be in jail..I do believe they know what they are doing !!! And still...they destroy you..
Many comments are right; I know what they are. Narcissist are taught by their parents. I've been there for 33 yrs, but I made up my mind years ago to not let him win. I am much stronger woman than he is a man today. They're not winners, but I didn't give up. I sought higher power, Jesus Christ! I'm not a quitter, so He helped me and will never stop being there for me. I wasn't able to explain my determination, but now I know. When they don't win it will become violent for a while, hang in there simply becuz Jesus can't help a quitter.
Everything said was Sooooo true. I'm married to one and learned the hard way how deceiving he is but thank God for all the lessons. Because of videos like this I've learned to ignore him. I do not reward bad behavior, I show no emotions of disappointment just being happy and in love with myself. I find it strange he won't leave therefore I let him pay all the bills and I live as a single woman.
I stopped paying for everything. I stopped reacting to anything he did. I stopped following him to events to boost his image. He came up with a strange list of my supposed 'crimes' against him in a bid for divorce in court. I had lost my friends by this time. I had stopped working because he complained about my travels, my expenditure, everything I did. I didn't even know that there was a personality disorder of this nature.
@@barbarabridgetbensah9601 his events like 30 football games the last year we were married but sabotaging my events and friendships? telling me he owned me, that I looked old and was a loser. drinking every day. trashing my things. physical. after 35 years I freed me from the disrespect. now I love my life.
I have been hated by my friends for standing up to a narcissist before! I lost my entire college circle. I don't regret losing them now though! My mental health is more important.
Seems like today we are living with more narcissistic behavior it's scary because they can get you fired and hurt your career. I moved on but have trauma and don't trust people as much.
Check out 2 Timothy 3 in the Bible. It’s a very short chapter that explains this generation in an amazing way… Unfortunately it is not going to get better, but there is hope given by the author of it. The very middle verse of the Bible is: Psalm 118:8 It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.
They live in a world of their own fantasy where everyone is a potential threat to them, and assume the worst of everyone. They see themselves as the victim of everyone else's treachery, so they can justify every cruel thing they do to others.
When a narcissist tries to clone your appearance, they are hoping to become the person who they are jealous of and admire. Unfortunately they cannot duplicate the other aspect of that cloned identity, because they lack the character that gets the respect they are needing more than anything!
Ditto.... Very tiring..... Family is meant to be cosy heaven, but it is turned into a snake cage... King Solomon saw it when he wrote in Proverbs.... better the wilderness than live in a wide house with.... You got it.
Not only was this the most accurate description of a narcissist, it is sad to see in the comments, just how many people's lives have been destroyed by a relationship with a narcissist. My own experience has proved that the narcissist will never stop. You must do whatever necessary to regain your sanity and freedom, but they will never stop. It truly is a sickness for which the narcissist will never get help because they don't see that they are the problem. Distance yourself from them the best you can. It helps to see this as a sickness and don't hate them for it. It can be an opportunity to set a new path for yourself which will undoubtedly be better than the one you were on.
OMG exactly ! I know own , it is the same as everything you say. What a charmer in the begining, now I'm always the one that's wrong eben if I said nothing, make others think I'm a bad person, sick, I'm trying to get myself help for depression , anxiety( social ) and panic attacks. I don't trust anyone any more from a lot of things in my life . That's all. God Bless.
When you understand them, you can turn their games around on them. The best situation is when they try to turn others against you, then you use that same group to expose the person by reverse engineering their game (they'll plant seeds against you and act like they are the victim, so you only say good things about them and defend them against the people that start to come to you with bits of info), so the group that was supposed to be used as a tool for them doesn't work. Also, doing the opposite reaction of what was intended by their set ups. It scrambles their computers 🖥
I literally grey-rocked EVERY strategy they used against me, which of course, made them angrier, but I don’t care. I love acting like they don’t exist!
What if both are narcissist but one’s tired of fighting and don’t want to play games any more and the other will never admit to being wrong about anything even when seen or heard
The only way to win is not to play. That is what I found. My wife and I cut off a family member like this, and to this day she complains to other how we wont talk to her. We just refuse to play, although in time most of the family has seen through the nonsense.
Absolutely. My mother has severely hurt my and my sisters lives in many aspects. But at the end of the day I’m a young man who is learning to get better and I most certainly will. It’s good to have that perspective to know it could always be worse. Much love to everyone
I am learning to not show any emotions I have a hard time with that one because I’m very emotional but I’ve been using my poker face more and more with my husband he says the most meanest things to me and I used to cry and ask why ? To day I just walk away
I'm right in the middle of going through this. I pray I get away from him and this toxic environment, and pray to God this whole situation doesn't kill me before I can finally break free.
He caught me at a vulnerable time. They look fir that. They want to be your hero. Slowly but surely. You will realize they are not partners. In there head you work for them. Very very selfish people. Truly no regrets
Excellent information. So true. Living through this. They will resort to anything to make themselves look good and you look bad. Clone your phone, put streaming cords throughout the home. They are very, very disloyal, can't be trusted, deceitful, lustful empty on the inside. People most miserable.
@@michellemokone3344 I am so sorry this happen to you. But God will vindicate for you. God has been my peace all through this nightmare. I don't even know what could of prepared me for such gross evil and the people who help them. Stated strong and be blessed, in my prayers.
@@barbarasims8467 thank you so much. It’s not easy in the beginning it’s been a month and a couple of weeks now since the discard. The pain and hurt is so deep. But yah your right, God really saved us. It shall pass.. 🙏🏽
True! The sad part is on many occasions you find out who they are but still stick around them because you feel vulnerable and lonely or empty. The thing is it isn't worth it. Learn to love yourself. Learn to be a lone wolf. Learn to let evil people go. Either that or you play them at their own games.
They continue to abuse and terrorize their children into adulthood, seeing them as personal property whose purpose in life is merely to shower them with adoration and to relentlessly cater to them while taking the blame for everything. The rage when an adult child refuses to comply with them and imposes consequences for their disgusting behaviour is spectacularly unhinged; facts simply don't matter to these people, and you cannot convince them that their children even have basic human rights they have to respect.
If you’re a strong person, you pose an immediate threat to narcissists, at which point they will try to pull stunts other than usual. Stay alert and aware of their nonsense.
Was married to one,everything you said is true, but until you realise what is going on&that there is a pattern repeat to their behaviours you just struggle to get free,they switch roles&gaslight you til you are doubting yourself and the revelation of who they truly are becomes blurred again. No contact is vital for your own well being&sanity,time to heal&recover from this traumatic experience. Well done to all who escaped,freedom is so precious&now you can share your love with many,instead of being sucked dry by one!!!
ABSOLUTELY THE BEST study on the narcissist we have EVER listened to. This comment is from Brian's wife. He is the adult survivor of two narcissist parents. The devil is the original narcissist. Anyway, just subscribed. Thank you!
Great enlightening video! I was a victim of my narsisist abusive ex husband. But I resently found out that I was also a victim of narsisistic parents/family. But I also see my own narsisistic behaviour in the past and presence, something I didn't know. Victims, especially when they are emotionally damaged, often become perpetrators. When you want to be set free, you have to embrace the truth and go through the inner pain it causes. Embrace the time to mourn. A life lesson I am going through right now.❤
This describes my venomous ex wife perfectly who even said “I need to be in control of everyone around me”. She finally left and found a perfect man who physically & emotionally abuses her regularly and delivers the karma she so deserves.
My narcissist knows I’m on to him and he’s trying to guilt me. Narcissists are so good at what they do, if you use even one word that shows them you doubt their integrity, they manifest into a monster. How dare you question them?
Diane, SO TRUE! The blame shifting, guilt manipulation, deflection along with other gaslighting tactics are NON-Stop when they are trying to control their victim or maintain the control... continually manipulating and controlling another person IS abuse. Stay strong!!
Thank you for your videos. With an Overt Narcissist first he may make promises to change then when that does not work, aggression, and physical violence. He will try to get you back under his control by any means necessary. You are his property no matter how many times he has cheated and left you. I had to leave the state making it more difficult for him to have access to me. This narc traveled to where I was living 5 states away and tried to drag me back cave man style. I have read that the lesser narcissist has poor cognitive function and low impulse control. Some are even capable of rape when they suffer a narcissistic injury. While I believe all narcissist can lash out violently when enraged and suffering from a narcissistic injury it is even more so with the lesser. My experience with this narcissist was even if we separated and he had moved on with a new supply source he would still come around to make sure I was not seeing anyone. If I happened to start dating he became violent even when he was engaged with someone new. Most narcissist when they are love bombing a new supply source will not want the one they discarded in the picture at least in the beginning of his new relationship. If they are engaged with a new supply source and still Hoovering you for fuel they have a sadistic streak. This narcissist cheated throughout the entire marriage. He engaged in triangulation with his first wife. She was a constant in our marriage until her suicide. The Covert Narcissist may try to come back after they have been involved in a few relationships which did not work out. When they try to come back they are low on supply and suffering from depression because of a loss of narcissistic supply. They love to tell you about the relationships they have been in and now they are smearing the person they left you for. They may tell you the person they have been in a relationship with has been abusing them. The Covert may apologize for all his past transgressions and the way he discarded you. He will have an excuse as to why he was so abusive and cruel at the end. It can play with your mind wondering if he is truly sorry. He can even have tears. You have to remember the tears are for himself. He is down and out with no available supply source. You must remember how he was at the end when he discarded you and the mask came completely off. He will seem desperate to keep you around as the Hoover takes place. And he is desperate for narcissistic supply. This is a midrange narcissist I’m talking about here and although very capable of violence he needs to put on a good show to convince you he really is a good person. This narcissist really does believe he is a good person and needs others to see him as such. If you see through this narcissist and don’t buy his story he may leave you alone. He will slink away like the snake that he is in search of new supply sources. Narcissist don’t like to waste their energy and when he sees you are not buying into it he is forced to search out new supply sources. I say forced because it is life or death to him to keep the false construct in place. In order to keep the false self in place he needs narcissistic supply. He needs the admiration of others or he ceases to exist. When you no longer buy the lie he will move on. Covert Narcissist do not display the open grandiosity of the Overt. While the Overt seems full of confidence the Covert lacks self esteem. The Covert will use a lot of pity plays working on your sympathetic nature. He wants you to feel sorry for him. The Covert is a coward. In any case Overt or Covert they suffer a narcissistic injury when they are rejected by an ex. They think they own you for life. In both cases I left the state when my marriages ended:) Additionally there is no way you can be too sure that your spouse isn’t cheating behind your back. The only way you can be sure if your spouse is cheating on you or not is “TO FIND OUT“. Get to find out about a cheating spouse with evidence to prove it by spying their mobile and thereafter gaining access to all the things they might have been hiding away from you. If you need to find out about a cheating spouse; send a request to: *Metaspyhub@gmail. com*
This is insane. I can't even believe I'm listening to this random video that TH-cam inexplicably recommended. I'm 33, and haven't spoken to my mom in six years because she abused me since the day I was born and tried to get back to it when I got out of the army at age 27. I've searched for years to find a word to describe her long list of behaviors, but I could never find that word until now. Thank you.
I'm like you. I'm 31 but haven't spoken to my mother in 6 years. It's scary but once you understand you realise you cannot change then just yourself. So sadly but necessary you remove yourself. My mother still gives me nightmares to this day.
Sir, I have to say thank you. I have been dealing with a narcissist niece lately. A very envious sik piece of trash. I will refuse to add some sorts of good titles for her. I hate everything about her bc I refuse to embrace the toxicity. I trust that by now, she realizes this. She is greedy and lies, steals, even stealing my degrees to make herself look good. She goes out of her way to spread lies for her to look better. But, I care zero of her. Furthermore, my X was also a narcissist. Hence, I know the behaviors well. But to here you hit the hammer on the nail makes me confirm I was correct to get rid of them both. Great video thanks be safe!!!
@@remybuitenhuis2433 OMG so so true! My mother yells and screams at me including gaslighting about how disrespectful I am towards her. I asked her if I’m the only one of her children she treats the way she does? She started to hurl insults at me. She told me how bad of a communicator I am by how I often I repeat myself while telling stories. I laughed and said this conversation is not good for me and I ended the conversation. She’s very active in her church…
@@remybuitenhuis2433there are two gods in this realm. The real one that most if not all people serve obey and accept and the real one that has never stopped providing.
My prayer is that narcissistic personality disorders should be included in the diagnostic manual for mental disorder because their behaviour towards their victims can be damaging.
The number one trick to control a narcissist is to make them always they are so bore to yu, never hear them, make them feel yu are ignoring them, sometimes do not answer their questions always even if its valid or not, make a feel of boring with yu, try their behave often when dealing with them, always make them yu as not available, when they try to love bombing, make a yarn and say them without words that keep it in with yu, we cannot always run away from them in the case of family members, take this tricky capsule when dealing with them. Narcissist always win when they are able to hurt yu, so kerp in mind. Live with happy around them. If they try to give yu bad label just feel them as yu are very grateful with that label and be like a devil in front of them. Always put a mask of never mind set.
Amazing, Hell no😅they need to vanish or have their heads re-examined by the creator. Disturbing is how I view the amount of deranged narcs there are in the world!
Theres more awareness, and honestly social media became a narcissist breeding ground. Social media , embracing the false image and their false self i feel like made this whole new type or made a potential much more likely to become one.
Its crazy bcos you cant create a healthy relationship anymore . Either you make a relationship that drives you crazy or you stay alone and enjoy the silence. I agree with the person that said this about social media. Fuckin instagram promotes perfectionism of human body, of human life etc. Many people are aware and dont get caught in the trap but its sad because many people without critical thinking fall in this trap and they become a very dangerous narcissistic spiece.its crazy because narcs are mentally weak af and they appear as strong mentally.please stay away from instagram and have a better and stress free life guys !!! Also dont fall for the red flags . Narcissism is fuckin serious and its everywhere nowadays.
I wish I knew this when I was younger and before I got married to the abuser.. I had to learn this lesson in my life because it made me grow into the strongest woman I am now.. I have a wonderful coach who has taught me how to love myself again.. this is the truth of my first spouse, everything that you have said, down to the children, my children have also learned.. I AM NOT A victim of this trauma anymore.. woohoo..
Mine had all his family ignore me from day one. No congratulations on our wedding. Later he told me he'd told everyone not to give us anything. Obviously he lied about me paying for everything. What I didn't know was that in his culture the man and his family pay. I found out many years later when one of my female students was getting married. He succeeded in always isolating me and shared only disinformation. He never had an answer, even about his own culture. But once I asked a pastor's wife about the different types of teas. She didn't even get one word out before he suddenly interrupted and explained in detail! The expression on her face when she saw my 😮surprise showed she knew what was going on. She asked me to attend her church, but my husband quickly got me away from her, insisted I go with him to the car. I was confused, didn't want to make a scene, especially since friends had taken us there to meet her and her husband. It was useless bringing it up because he'd only change the topic and/or ignore me. For so many years his entire relationship with me was nothing but deceit. However, after separating, I came upon these videos and now I finally understand. I have to stay in contact because he controls all the finances and my visa to stay abroad. But I'm so thankful for the miracle that got me away so I would then find these kinds of videos to learn from. If not, I would never have known. I am so grateful for each of the messages shared with us. They not only are helping our mental, physical, and spiritual but also reinforcing how beautiful we are. Thanks again for your informative videos!
Be encouraged and learn what the God of the Bible says about you. How beautiful and wonderfully you are made in His image. Learn how God's enemy can't beat Him so he goes after what God loves. Learn his strategies to protect yourself. Peace ❤
Thank you for your encouraging replies. We are so blessed to have finally met others who know exactly 💯what we have gone through. We can deeply appreciate every word and illustration that these videos share with us. I'm sure most, if not all of us, would rather have known much earlier what was really going on in our situations. So now we can make up for it. I thank God all day long for how He helped me to get a separation. One day I may even help others in testimony of His parting of the Red Sea for me. I was raised Catholic but left before high school. A Christian couple walking down the street told me about Jesus and I believed in a second. That was in 1996. I was so beaten down after being with him since 1982 that I was open to anything God had for me. All of the doors He opened reinforced who I am which he wasn't able to make me question. But these videos show us so much-needed knowledge that we can be above our circumstances. Add the wisdom from the Bible and we are unbeatable. As one pastor's wife said, "you would never know she just went through that life- death experience. She didn't show it at all. She's so full of joy." And, I genuinely was!
You completely described my ex. Thank you so much it feels so good to see I am not alone in facing such trauma. I was with a lot of girls before her but it was my first time ever with a narcissist and I had no idea all those love bombing me was just an act. She stole and she cheated just like you described.
After the 6th discard , and knowing full well they are narcissistic, the hurt doesnt last long , maybe a day or two (6month relationship) . The patterns and manipulation become so easy to spot . Also they are hypersensitivity to any percived criticism of them and seem to at any opportunity take things the wrong way. Be prepared to be punished. The last 2 discards i chose to ghost her . She became desperate to fix things this time. Now you know you have them and ready to destroy. Become indifferant to anything they accuse you of or any opinion they have and point out any flaws you think they might have. Let them know you think they are perthetic and unwanted. Then enjoy the show. Then apologise to them if they come back for more , done by mirroring what disgusts you about them , make there flaws yours. Only takes minutes to gain there trust, rince and repeate, till you feel you have them dripping with self hatred. Lastly i made sure she knows you are aware of her hurting , laught and block all contact and smile , knowing you have done what nature would have , being narcissistic back to the narcissist. The circle of life
Everything this man said is true. It was like listening to what's taking place in my life now. I'm forced to work next to a (self diagnosed bipolar)narcissist 10 hours a day- 4 days a week. It's been one of the most trying experiences in my life. It's built me up, broke me down but what it hasn't done is break me. IT WILL NOT BREAK ME!! It's teaching me lessons hard learned in life and thus a blessing in sheeps clothing.
“Never letting your guard down is a hell of a way to go through life.” Maybe better to strive for resilience, agilrty and a strength to respond to adversities when experiencing problems from interacting with narcissists. Being able to be vulnerable is so helpful in the long run.
This in honesty one of thee best videos on narcissists. I didn’t understand any of the other TH-camrs. But now I am being to get my head round how to spot a narcissist. Thankyou so grateful to you🙏🏼
One of the famous go to phrases of the narcissist is, "I don't know what you're talking about ",when called out on their b.s.One of the key things covered here is to "Never let your guard down ",the ability to character assassinate someone they've targeted with other associates and colleagues. Being the cowards that they are, they will wait until the person has left the room,laughing and talking with them, before they begin their tactics to discredit and destroy that person's reputation. They genuinely hate everything that they can't manipulate and control. They are so sick that if you escape their control and manipulations, you are going to be attacked repeatedly by them.
They will accuse you of abuse for standing up for yourself...
1000%!!!
Facts.
So true
My mom is literally doing that right now, picking fights completely unprovoked a week before Thanksgiving but can't handle being called out
Right, and they'll assume they are hero.
They are toddlers trapped in an adult body. They will drain you mentally,emotionally and physically.
I have always said this 👍🏾
And financially
Financially too.
So true
Mine has actually tried to justify herself by comparing her behavior to our 3 year old.
A narcissist accuses you of what they are actually doing themselves.
Right, thats called projecting
He did that, yup.
just like white people 😂
They cannot see it in themselves. They are so perfect.
Exactly they are nothing but Commies or Marxists. It's only projection.
Narcissists move VERY fast in relationships. It's not uncommon to hear, “I love you", and/or be bombarded with love songs/texts/memes a few weeks after meeting them. By rushing into sex/intimacy, they fast-forward the relationship. They get their targets to fall for them before he/she can realize something is amiss. I believe this is also the reason they tend to be VERY good lovers. Sex is usually the “hook” in toxic relationships. Narcissists lack genuine personalities. So, they mirror their targets. If you find you have “so much in common" with a new person, your likes are their likes, and your dislikes are coincidentally their dislikes as well, raise your antennas! They may be mirroring you. This is the “soulmates" hook… You'll also notice that they'll spend more time telling you who they are, verses showing you. As time goes on, you'll notice the words they used to describe themselves do not fit their personality - at all. But, they will fit YOURS!!! Passive-aggressive behavior and irrational/unexplained anger, are also major red flags. Pay attention to how a person treats you the first time you say, “No”, and/or when things don't go their way… If they give you the silent treatment, grow cold, and/or pull away, do not overlook it! Most importantly, if someone pulls away, or goes silent, after you set a boundary - DO NOT pursue them! This is how they groom you to be the chaser in the relationship. It's emotional abuse/manipulation! Pay close attention to people who portray themselves as victims.
NOTHING is EVER their fault! EVERYONE, including the family pet, has done them wrong… ALL of their ex's are “crazy” and mistreated them… They’re great, but no one appreciates said greatness… Simply put, it's bullshit! No one should have a laundry list of bad experiences. If they do, RUN, because they're the common denominator! Narcissists tend to have a history of failed/short-term relationships. Believe it or not, it's hard for Narcissists to find people to deal with them long term due to their instability and poor behavior… Superficial relationships/friendships. I've noticed they don't have anyone they're genuinely close to. This is due to their inability to bond and form true attachments to people. Their relationships are shallow and based on surface-level bs. They'll refer to someone as their bestfriend, but you’ll notice they barely speak. Or, that the person is never really around. Or, only shows up when it's time to party, etc. They may also speak down on/poorly of said “bestfriend” behind their back. Narcissists tend to be condescending, two-faced and downright mean! Based on my experience, they cannot talk about deep subjects (i.e. fears/emotions). Or, how a situation truly made them feel. Or, what their childhood was like in detail… They don't want to go there. I suspect, it's because they can't. They don't know themselves well enough. They can't connect. They also live in a world of dishonesty. They're very dishonest with themselves about who they truly are. A poor relationship with their Mother/primary caregiver. Underlying issues between Narcissists and their Mother's (abuse, neglect, don’t get along, etc.), seems to be common. People that I've known who've displayed strong Narcissistic tendencies, ALL had bad relationships with their Mothers! I think it's worth mentioning, their Mother's also displayed strong Narcissistic traits… I'm fully aware and understand that there are healthy adults who have toxic Mother's.
However, if you're spotting several red flags in an individual, including this one, pay closer attention! They're selfish! Some are selfish from the very beginning. Some start out generous and slowly begin withholding. Some act helpless and needy. They manipulate people into doing things for them, but never give back. It's not only financial and material selfishness. They're selfish emotionally, affectionately, conversationally. sexually and with their attention. They withhold validation and support. EVERYTHING has to be about them, their needs, their wants and everything happens on their terms. Anger, rage, silent treatments and disappearing acts are common - when they don't get their way. Pathological lying. Narcissists are professional liars. It's their second nature. If you call them out, they'll have no issue staring deeply into your eyes as they tell another lie! You'll hardly ever get the truth. Even with unchallengeable proof of the truth, they'll hold on to the lie. It's actually quite fascinating to see them in action - once you know what you’re dealing with. They also have the uncanny ability to provoke doubt in their victims (even when you KNOW the truth), because their lies are so convincing! Beware of people who do not seek conflict resolution. Many Narcissists enjoy drama/chaos! Remember, these are high-conflict personalities. Many of them NEED to argue and fight! Peace to a narcissist, is what chaos is to non-disordered people - unsettling. This is why they repeat behaviors that trigger a negative response. They need tension, anger and high/out of control emotions. They're known for calling people crazy, drama queens, insecure, etc., but never admit what they did to provoke those responses. And, when you attempt to discuss/resolve something, THEY said/did, they’ll gaslight, stonewall and/or flip it back on to you.
They're extremely disrespectful, rude and lack self-awareness. They have an issue with being called out on their behavior and project/deflect to avoid accountability. “Normal” people want to get along, for the most part. So, they seek fair compromises when conflict arises. Narcissists want to “win” and conflict IS their niche. This is how many Narcissists get their way - they wear people down via conflict. Immaturity. It’s one thing to be playful and lighthearted (in appropriate settings), as an adult. It’s something completely different to be immature. Narcissists suffer from arrested development. They do not know how to respond to situations/people/stress/life appropriately. They have a child-like mindset. They truly believe everything is about them and have no concept of the needs of others. By nature, children are takers. They have no concept of reciprocation. They believe their Parents (and everyone else), exists to meet their needs. When their needs aren’t met, or they don’t get what they want, they become mean and throw tantrums. Narcissists cannot think outside of themselves and their wants/needs - like children. They’re completely unaware that people are individuals with their own agency, needs, wants, opinions... They truly believe people exist to serve them. They believe their job is to receive. They’re children trapped in adult bodies, who cannot consider anything/anyone other than themselves! Above everything I've stated, trust your intuition! Narcissists give off an uneasy vibe. They try very hard to appear cool, calm and collected - on the surface. But, you can feel their energy. It's very off-putting. They also tend to have more noticeable negative qualities, than most people. But, you have to stop justifying and making excuses, in order to see things clearly. Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be. Observe, listen and trust yourself. No one should be allowed to grant themselves a position in your life. Vet people and YOU decide if they'll be a liability, or an asset, to you. Lastly, take cues from your body. If you ever feel your mood changing, feel anxious or feel your stomach knot up, in the company of someone, don't dismiss it! It could be a sign that you're in bad company!!!
Additionally, If you’re considering hiring a private investigator for gathering evidence of infidelity in a divorce case, it’s crucial to choose someone with experience and discretion. I’ve come across MetaspyClub, who seem to offer reliable services in handling sensitive cases. If you’d like guidance, you can contact them at MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com. Make sure to understand your legal rights, set clear expectations, and follow their recommendations to ensure everything is handled appropriately.
One of the most evil aspects of the narcissist’s behavior, is their ability to convince even those closest to you that they are kind and loving. You end up looking like a paranoid nut
🤣🤣that is so true
😂😂I know!
So true!
💯 Totally
True
One thing they love to do is to dress up their malice and contempt as love and kindness and generosity. They give a whole new meaning to killing with kindness.
Yea I loved this comment your so right, their try hards,🤣🤣
Yes, so true, I can imagine there is a lot more history behind your words, and you could never assess in its entirety, the cost of damage to you. I'm sorry this happened to you. I think I know what you have grieved.
You have definately been narc'ed!!!
Amen.
Amen.
The best way to deal with narcissists is not give them the time of day or take them seriously.
Amen. Totally ignore them
Get ghost on that Devil....,....!!!!
Do the Grey rock technique to escape them.
And that's exactly what they ask for
Stonewalling
I ignore my narcissistic husband, when he tries to berate me I put my fingers in my ears. I have moved out of the bedroom, I keep my door locked, I only speak when it’s absolutely necessary. Meanwhile I’m living my best life and preparing for divorce. I don’t think anyone should learn how to live with a narcissist. They are very sick individuals that only an act of God can heal. RUN!!!
Exactly and congratulations on your new life it only gets better from here.🎉❤
Good for you.
If you're still living with him, please be careful. You may cause severe rage and put you in danger if you're still living together
If I lived with the individual that stalks me. He would find a way to unlock the door. He has broken into my home many times, breaks things that cost me money etc.
This is true. Home should be a safe haven. Putting up my guard all the time has deteriorated my health. Don’t want to do it anymore.
Always put the blame on you or someone else! They are never wrong!😊
Absoutly devastad by the way they are like one of the comments children
Imaturity
To cover all there threats
And deciet.
Why l do not know
But lm destroyed by this attitude.
Loved one s die at there
Selfish behaviour.
Marie
Right i hate this!
@@mariehargreaves3674 knnn
Or they accuse YOU of being paranoid, thinking everybody's out to get you, when you react to the bullshit they themselves are responsible for creating.
Their version of being wrong is similar to this" I was wrong for believing you were the kind of person I could trust" so, it's not really a personal wrong, it somehow still tries to blame you lol
#1 thing to keep in mind- they have amnesia when it comes to anything you've done for them & anything they've done that could be considered hurtful. Total amnesia, delusions, & confabulations are impossible to prove or disprove- that's why they function in those realms...
Or they just out right lie about what happened.
Yeah my husband always lied about whatever situation was going on in the moment. No matter what it was it was always my fault, or when he was backed into a corner and couldn’t talk his way out he’d switch over to another topic or get irate and then blame me that he got irate. Even with my parents helping me to care for our daughter, he would still call and text them spreading all types of insane lies about me. I can only imagine the picture he has painted to those who do not know my side of the story and everything he has put us through. It has definitely gotten easier not giving him what he needs (responses, my anger, my hurt, over explaining when I want him to understand me, etc.). Praying for healing to anyone that has had to or is currently dealing with any form of a narcissist relationship. 🙏🏽❤️🩹
@@theglitterbombmom these people want door mats, scape goats, punching bags- they don't want real adult relationships and are NOT capable of building anything! They're destroyers of all. Leave the situation- as your child grows- they turn to the impressionable kids and will destroy your credibility with your child eventually turning the child against you or at least convincing her to go no contact with you or anyone else who knows the truth. Get into therapy with your baby if you can't leave!!!! Ask me how I know-
@@reneehouser2925 i got a protective order against him a couple of years ago and seperated. Wasn't able tp afford a lawyer then, but I'm currently going through my divorce and therapy over the years has definitely made me so much stronger. Never in a million years did I think I would be able to stand up to him in court. He tried to bully me into signing divorce papers that were his terms only, and he did not win! He has been acting out ever since, but I'm just using the tools I have been given over the years to keep my baby and I sane, and to finally free myself of this marriage.
EDITED FOR AN UPDATE:
We went to court. I walked in with no lawyer while he and his lawyer were present. I just walked in intending to speak my truth and nothing more. Thank the heavens he had to get on the stand first. They pretty much handled the entire hearing without me. He was caught up in some lies and spent the majority of his time trying hard to slander me, which the judge was able to keep flipping back on him. I still havent gotten the final decisions from the judge, but having the strength to go in there alone and not allow him to trigger me or continue to lie on me felt really amazing. There is hope 🙏🏽
💯 truth. My abusive mother swears my childhood was perfect. The truth was there was coldness and neglect alternated with beatings with brooms and shoes. The truth means nothing to a narcissist. 😢
They try to re-write history or an event that happened to make themselves look like the victim, when in reality, it was them that caused the problem to begin with.
Like Meghan Markle. She's a perfect example of someone with narcissistic personality disorder.
Dee Well said.. they cause their own misery and misery loves company. It's so sick.
OMG! That is sooooo spot on!
Yes, and unless you were threatened in some way with bodily harm, if you allowed yourself to be manipulated, then that's totally your fault. You have nobody to blame, but yourself.
Yes!
Trust your gut. That knot that you always have in the pit of your stomach. The overthinking you have to do about every conversation or interaction. The thinking through how you’re going to have a conversation to get them to notice you or understand you… All of it is not normal. They will tell you that you’re overreacting or dramatic. They will tell you that you’re being overly sensitive… But you’re spot on.
Give yourself time to analyze and unpack the turmoil/living hell you lived in, but don’t live in the analyzing . I continued, and still continue, to realize… Oh… So this was all part of the narcissism too… it is so deep and sick that you could spend the rest of your life analyzing and unpacking it. You have to give your thinking some boundaries. I actually had to set a timer and tell myself… OK you get an hour to think about this today and then you’re doing what is on your agenda. Oh… and… make yourself an agenda or list and DO IT …. Sometimes I had to force myself just to brush my teeth and get a shower… But you must stick to some sort of schedule.
Forgive yourself for being vulnerable. I couldn’t get over the 23 years I had wasted. I couldn’t stop beating myself up for not being smarter and stronger quicker. I had to remind myself that I was the perfect match. As an only child of older parents, I was younger when they died and I had no family. His family became my family and he knew he had me. I had to remember my intentions were good and decent and God will honor what I did. I wanted to keep the family together and believe that no one could be as evil as his actions were showing me.
Make safe changes. You don’t want to make big changes like changing jobs or moving across the country, although there are people that have no choice and have to do this. But make small changes like your hair color. Drive a different way to work. Wear a different style.
As much as possible… spoil yourself. Do what you need to make yourself feel pretty or handsome. Order the decadent chocolate cake.
Never feel ashamed. I remember that some people treated me like I was that homeless person that they felt sorry for but if they didn’t look it would all go away. I was embarrassed and ashamed. The beautiful part about it is I found out who really does care about me. You don’t have to have a lot of blood relatives to have family. You will find the people that mean the most; There will be loyal friends who you can let yourself be raw with… let it happen.
Do no start looking for a relationship! I initially remember feeling as though I had to go out with people to feel desirable and flattered. I was in no way ready to be a partner to anyone until I could tell myself “You still got it girl!” and really believe it.
NEVER look back or second guess yourself! It will never get better if you go back. And they will try to get you back. There’s never break up with a narcissist. As long as you allow it, they will continually try to get in touch with you and lead up to begging you to come back. It feels flattering but it is empty and meaningless. My ex-husband who ended up with a very young girl who has emotional and mental problems (I was her mentor in our church) has recently tried to ask me to give him just “one more chance” 5 days after the girl broke up with him. Every single time he did this In the past, The forgive me speech and crying was the same and his behavior was even worse with each time I went back. This is an addiction for you.. not love and addiction is hard to kick. Speaking of addiction… be careful not to pick up any others … pills, alcohol, shopping
Train your thoughts. Don’t let the tail wag the dog. When you start to go down that path of negative thoughts and telling yourself life is going to be forever gloom and doom, remember that being apart from this monster is THE BEGINNING of a new life and the pain will lift.
You were more alone and in danger with them than away from them. That’s it… buoy…. Ya!
Take care of yourself. This healing needs all the healthy habits you can muster. When you’re feeling as though you’re having a strong moment, and you will see a pattern of times that you feel a bit stronger, pre-plan meals so that when you’re feeling really bad all you have to do is get in the refrigerator and heat something up. Put toothpaste on the brush so all you have to do is pick it up. Take melatonin to get rest. Take vitamins/supplements.
NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT…. Forever… you are doing this to heal not to get a reaction out of them or try to get them to love you.
Keep talking to other survivors and remember that you are just that… A SURVIVOR. There will come a day that you will be helping others.
Never feel bad for them. My ex-husband‘s mask has finally come off and he can’t keep the façade up anymore. It is pathetic. My adult children know not to discuss what is going on with him with me and I don’t ask. Don’t ask!!! They will look for every opportunity to tug on your heartstrings.
Don’t wallow in thinking they are happy. They are desperately unhappy. They will never be happy and will delight in any weakness they see in you, so again…. ZERO ZILCH CONTACT or GRAY ROCK flat, noncommittal tone with as few words as possible.
Count your blessings I remember looking at everybody around me and thinking how happy and lucky everybody else looked. Everybody has stuff going on. Yours is just super big at the moment. So look for blessings . I thanked God for little things that weren’t so little… a job close to home, my frig worked, I didn’t catch a cold from my first grade class (again.. take care of yourself). Some days it seemed ludicrous that there was a blessing, but sometimes the blessings were the things God Prevented from happening.
Keep track of your progress. Three years away from my husband, looking back at my journey, I cannot believe how far God has brought me. You will be a new, better version of you if you don’t let the tail wag the dog.
Knowledge is power. Read everything you can about this but again… Set boundaries for yourself… don’t stay stuck
Boundaries boundaries boundaries I started to realize that I didn’t have boundaries set for myself at all. It was easy for people to tell me the way it was going to be and just assume that it would just be that way without me standing up for myself. Find confidence in putting your needs and emotional health first. You are not being selfish.
Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: Barryinvestigation@gmail. com.
Girl you should right a book. Thanks for the advice
It never stops surprising me just how many narcissists there are in the world.
@ Mary Harris come and hang out with me sometime. You would not believe the staggering number of narcissist that have infiltrated my life and that are around me at all times. Not just people I know either. We're talking people who run hotels I stay in; people who work at the gas station; people everywhere. I just had the manager of a hotel I stayed at recently keep my $150 deposit that she asked for in cash, claiming I stole a robe and ruined a towel and a pillow with my hair color. She claimed the robe was $50 so I guess they're all fifty bucks each. I had the feeling when I first got there that she didn't want me there for some reason and it only stayed there one other time a few months ago. As I was checking in she accused me basically that's how I took it anyway, of planning to bring a bunch of rowdy people from their sister hotel to party which wasn't even the case and I don't know how she connected those dots. But she did by asking me if I'd ever stayed at that other hotel before and I said yes because I had. She then tells me she doesn't want any people from that hotel coming there when I don't even hang out with people who stay there I just stay there because I like the freaking room that has the jacuzzi in it. The feeling around her felt hostile and accusatory and so I believe now she planned at that point to keep my cash deposit and used anything she possibly could to do so. She was totally nice to me the last time I stay there so I don't know what changed or what happened but she's very threatened by me for some reason. I can't say she's a narcissist for sure but definitely toxic and who does that? Asks for a cash deposit and then makes up stories in order to keep it? This is just one of many many things that has happened to me in recent times and I'm tired of it. I feel like I have a Target on my back and they're all shooting at it.
It's the real pandemic. I completely agree. I grew up surrounded with narc parents, other family and at work, in friends etc. I realize that I was groomed to find them but nonetheless they are everywhere especially when you become more aware to what they are, demonic possessed humans
So many,and too many,trust no one ,till you completely healed,and know/ set/ know your boundaries, then you will see so clearly, and aways walk with God🙏
Read up on the greek Myth of Cassiopeia. The game of creating order from chaos is built using a foil.
There are less then few percent. It just that they are charming and confident and they often have multiple partners.
So it gives the illusion like there is a lot
When they realised you are so strong and no longer blinded by their lies .
They will use the childrens, because the kids are the only thing that matters to you
Heartbreaking 😞
You're right another manipulation to hurt you they are poison and selfish basterts
@@marykacollins9191
Yes they are
I know that narcissist are not human .
They are DEMONS POSSESSED PEOPLE
So true!
Mine tells my oldest 7 and 11 yo daughters that I am selfish, don't love them and I only love and care about their 4 yo brother. He tells them I didn't want girls and wasn't happy to have them. After 11 years of questioning myself why he treats me like a garbage I found an answer online. When I confronted him and told him that I know what he is he treated me as I didn't exist at all. Silent treatment, no reply even to message despite us living under the same roof. Lifelong atheist started going to church yet I still see what pile of garbage he is. Everyday is a struggle for me: depression, anxiety, zero self esteem, no energy or desire to do anything. House became a mess and I hate myself for that. Just his presence drains me.
Biggest sin of all using the children. Bad karma coming to the person doing this to you and your children
This is EXACTLY what my husband has done! High schools need to educate kids on how to identify and protect themselves from narcissist abuse.
I agree with you-nobody make us ready for the real life exams.
It sad because it should be a parents job by example and teaching them how to act towards others and themselves. Biblical standards also educate against being high minded, self absorbed and codependent etc. But that starts at home too.
@@justpeachy697
The Bible was written and is populated mostly by narcissists. Cain could have been nice but he wasn't Abel.
@@Martin-sp4zf hahahahaha
@@Martin-sp4zf umhum. Proves my point.
Worst abuse ever.
A lesson learned the hard way.
And then you realise they're in your friends group and immediate family too....
Oh my goodness the worst. I'm so tired. I'm saving money to leave I pray to make it until my last child graduates.😢
@@keketennessee9116learn as much as you can
The banker takes it all.
Once a narcissist can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you.
💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Who cares?
@@billmurray5521 Attempting to interfere with the reality of another person is by definition abuse. I hope that helps.😊
@@beachybird1251 Well said. My 'mother' actually went so far as to spread ridiculous lies to all my aunts, uncles, cousins and anyone else who would listen, in an effort to alienate me and keep them from hearing any truth about her. This went down after I finally found my voice later in life and became a perceived threat to her. As for those foolish relatives who bought her deranged nonsense, I thank them for helping me to accept that I must have been switched at birth - there is just too much evidence of stupid genes throughout those people.
You are absolutely correct - this kind of nonsense is abusive.
Karen
That’s correct they know people are swayed so easily by what they hear (lies/gossip) and how powerful it is they a,so know who to use as a megaphone and when to do it….. it something that compassionate people just don’t do …. They are trash
Absolutely!!!!
The Narcs worse nightmare is an educated empath , that can use their manipulation against them ..
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯 this is the it
Absolutely!!!!!!!!)
@LockdownSpinning oh hon...that's a heavy situation to be in. Guard your heart. Spend time alone to recharge. If you believe in God, spill your guts and your feelings and purge. My mom is 86 and is having great difficulties now. However, she is very cooperative - for now.
@LockdownSpinning It's the same here, but since she's gotten older and disabled she now understands (as do I) that we have to cooperate with each other in order to survive. It helps that she is a Christian because she tries to see it for what it now is. If that makes sense.
At the end of the day it's all about how much I deeply love her, big ole "warts" and all. Very soon she will be greatly missed,
Carry on kiddo. ✌
@LockdownSpinning Hey - I'm one of those people you can talk with if you like. Well, message with. The only person I talk on the phone with is my 86+ year old mom. 😂 True story.
Edit: P.S. My mom knows everything too. ☺
Many heartfelt hugs to all who are suffering due to someone's NPD. I thought I had the worst situation, but after reading the comments on this page, my heart goes out especially to those who have really horrible situations, especially situations involving kids. GROUP HUG INSERTED HERE FOR ALL WHO'VE BEEN DEGRADED, USED, ABUSED, AND STRESSED OUT TO THE MAX BY NPD.
Thanks for the hear felt message and the same to you.
Same to yourself remember there actors and cowards, God bless us all 🙏
yes, the level of humilitation is UNREAL how low these creatures can really really go..my heart is also for the people invlving kids..Oh My God..I pray and I respect forever any survior from narcisist abuse. You must feel PROUUUD as this is not easy and I do not think everyone escapes safetly and alive from this type of cases. I am still amazed I survived..the cruelty is unreal and sadism and gaslighting..
I have lived 47 years with an NDP husband. It has been hail but after listening to you and other people am relieved and now know how to treat him. Thats if I can hang on for a while. I have nothing because of him no progress at all but missery. Thank you for you.😢
❤❤❤
They will discard. If you are "too strong" it means they know that they can't get reality to reflect back that they are in control. Too strong means they can't break you or control you. They will discard you, but before that they will make attempts. If they fail they find somebody new
Truth!! I had a "best friend" do this...they also twist reality to make them look helpless, which is not true!
They actually hold you in contempt for being hurt by their shenanigans... it's messed up.
What with one of my big ones, I acted like I was weak until the moment when the ball was in my court. After many years of us starting out together and then breaking and then going back and forth a bit. I kept him on the line acting like I was just waiting for him to be ready. He finally came around and called just when he had always said he would (in x number of years). And then I REJECTED.
Lol.
He came back 3 years after that to try and make me jealous of his current relationship. Hahaha. That was the moment I knew for sure that I had made the right decision in letting him go.
The saddest thing about that one though was that he was not like that when I met him. He was sweet and attentive, if not a little bit too "positive"for my taste. It was whatever on that. But then he got involved in organizations that changed him.
It really stinks to watch someone become a slave to a system that doesn't even give a rat's ass about them when you love them so deeply to begin with.
I wish she would find someone else and I feel sorry for them!
When they see you happy and content they will covertly present as create a situation that only you know is meant to affect you in a negative way. They hate seeing people happy.
I agree - they really enjoy other people's misfortunes and, if you're actually having a good life, they'll create a situation and put a negative slant on something so that you think you aren't.
so true ,but what they dont know and believe is that god is all knowing and the power they have is just a test for both of us which we both will be judged based on,how they abused the power god let them hold for a short period of time and how we stand againts their abuse and evil behavior
may god guide them and proctet us from all
Agree.
😭😭😭😭
then that makes it lousy jealousy. Yet why would they want to be like someone they destroyed?
The thing that ultimately defeats a narcissist is their own Karma. What they put out always returns to them….if not in an an exact form, then in a form of equal value….I’ve seen it time and again, and beyond coincidence.
Remember, the world is your mirror, what you see is the result of your beliefs, intentions, thoughts and actions. If you don’t like what you see in your experience, then change your beliefs, thoughts, or intentions and actions and your world and people around you will change…it’s physics.
Best answer on the internet.
Yep I actually got to see my ex narc suffer both physically and financially
Perhaps,but lyfe is short ,why waist it on such people.?
@@stevenlight5006 You aren't wasting time when picking up pieces of the carnage these people leave you to deal with. Saying someone is wasting time is insulting.
Agree 100%. They are defeated by the same sword they wield.
Before I was with the narc,I was a super strong woman, he beat me down mentally and emotionally, it was never physical,we disagreed on things,but his anger never got out of control,he was either too scared of me or he hid it. When he discarded me,I felt like I was trash and have been working on my self esteem and loving myself for 8 months since the discard. Turning your back away from the narc is not easy, bc they manipulated you into thinking you were their number 1 and would not leave you,as a result of that they love bomb you and form a trauma bond with you,so you feel stuck and you won't want to leave them. They are not worth your breath and I'm sorry they are a waste of space on this earth,they're very evil and enjoy leashing physical and emotional and mental pain on you. RUN FROM THE NARC!!! YOU ARE JUST A MEANS TO AN END!!! YOU ARE AN OBJECT TO THEM,NOT A PERSON.
Thieves is what they are. Mentally, materially spiritually, every way they can steal from you.
😢😢😢😢same here only it was a female narcissist and she made me go broke and nearly drove me over the edge
💯 agree….you are nothing more to a narcissist than an APPLIANCE !!!!!!!!!!
@@Not-the-usual-BS.... Ask yourself this one question? What was you attracted to... Answer that you are already half way there. 🙂
@@jessxxy she was really nice and friendly when I first met her .. she was fun and attractive.. I realized too late how manipulative she was
Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
Tell me more about this private detective and his findings! I’m thinking about doing this!
I experienced it😢😢
I didn't hear one narcissistic trait described, you people abuse the hell out of words.
Basically a narcissist to y'all is any man who's ever hurt or lied to you.
Cut it out and while you're at it feel free to indent the walls of textual drivel you type online.
I always ck out all recommendations online first
This!!! Spot on like how my Ex Narc was. I was with him for 6 yrs and he treated me like pure crap. While faking his love for me the entire time. Told me his mom was a narc so we could “triangulate” her, once he was done with that, now they “best friends” yet he’s had issues with his mom and past exes. I was the only one who cared about him. It’s sad. I don’t know who I am and trying to figure out my life now with kids and other issues
The best antidote for a narcissist and generally what everyone should have before going into any relationship is knowing that you are enough. Let the earth shake with your self-worth and let every fiber of your being bear witness with you that you are ENOUGH. Anybody that cannot see you in this light should not be allowed access into your life. Period. Having being a victim of narcissistic abuse, I honestly cannot wish it on my enemy. No one deserves to go through the mental trauma this thing brings.
Excellently stated 👏🏻💯💯🔥🔥🔥
I SO AGREE!
You are so very right
Well said.
This is my exact point of view: I cannot wish this not even on my enemy. Every person who survives narcisism abuse-5,5 years in my case done by an ex manager harrassment, gaslighting, prohibited to get a job, lost my apartement, my friends..I did not know these creatures exists on earth..I knew nothing about narcisism or psychopathy...0 help from police, friends, sister ANYONE...took a tool on my mental health but I have become very religious I was but now..I am very close to God.
I wish the internet and podcast like this were available 40 year ago. It would have saved me 23 years being married to a narcissist . I was strong. After 23 years I manifested physical symptoms including panic attacks from not having control of my own life. Good for YT.
I am right there with you 🤗🤗
I have the same symptoms, but was with him for 22years not married, he game me and trick me
I am now chronically ill and have shingles from the stress
I lost everything from being with a narcissist. God lifted me back up though. The narrator is right. They will destroy your life and steal everything. The worst are the ones with money because the flying monkeys will really help them because they are money motivated even if they know the person is a narcissist. Friends and family will become corrupted. You become the monkey in the middle and can't get out, they will pick away at your flesh and soul. Narcissists are from the Devil
I think the worse is having a narcissistic mother as there is no escape from the damage from that kind of abuse.
I escaped mine. Fortunately she isnt my biological mother, and is in rapid decline after i exposed her. I still think, i was quite kind considering what she did and the pain and damage she caused.
I agree with you. I have also gone through this
My grandmother was like this.
Unless you are the son. I was and none of that crap stuck to me. However I cannot read a woman for beans, I always get run over by modern women. They fool me quite easily! well at least 6 years ago they did. I stoicly observe all now and keep my head on a swivel. Clown world gonna get really crazy soon. Keep safe and observant. These spirits are everywhere now.
No matter what, she is your mother, she gave birth to you. She may need help or maybe your the narcissistic one
Do the exact opposite of whatever they insist you be, say, behave, etc. Don’t cater to them, say what you mean, mean what you say. When they exceed your boundaries, take immediate action. Don’t lose your cool. When they start yapping, take your keys and leave. You do have control. Do not share your goals, dreams, ambitions. They will thwart your efforts. If you pay attention, are generous and complimentary to others be prepared for jealousy and backlash. Do NOT intertwine you monies. Be prepared to leave in a planned and well timed way. If you are divorcing them, it’ll be a circus, they try to bankrupt you. They are toxic people, they erode your self-confidence, will keep you off-balance and make you question yourself. If you turn the table on them, it’s a bit scary as you feel like to are taking on THEIR traits. Do what you need to do. Protect yourself, be smart, and keep in mind they encourage learned helplessness. It makes you more dependent on them. These energy vampires will suck the energy out of you and it takes a toll on your mental, emotional and psychological health. Educate yourself about these soulless meat suits walking the earth.
Well said!! I was in so-called therapy but very little direct information. This is much more helpful!! I’m presently working on finding a therapist that truly can be helpful. Not sure I need another therapist after listening to this!!! Excellent insight on this video!!!!! Thanks for your insight as well!!!!
@@cathie1234 I wish you the best. Many of these therapists are so uninformed, think it’s a fad. 2 out of 10 people you meet have narcissistic traits, out of 20 people you may find 1 NPD/psychopath (J.D. Tudor on TH-cam) fo example catalogs how they operate. Narcissist Chronicles provides the tools you need, the support and examples of how to handle them. 3 years it took me to work through it, get a divorce and spend a fortune trying to escape. Gray Rock conversation is a bit maddening to them. Talk about anything irrelevant to them, they get deeply frustrated if they can’t ruffle your feathers. Some resort to hiding, destroying your things, they are toddlers, lie so much they forget what they said. Document everything. Then go back and read it, you’ll find it’s no wonder you are anxiety ridden, fearful, untrusting, afraid of being alone, co-dependent, financially compromised. Nope, therapists that don’t have a core capability to “get it” dispose of their service bc you are wasting valuable time. Lastly, exercise self-care, establish a routine. Get up, dress up, put on some lipstick, try to get grounded in nature. Why people continue to carry on feeding their egos, not blocking ALL social media, etc is amazing to me. If you have kids, there are CLASSES and instructionals on how to co-parent with these bottom feeders. My gosh, after you get through to the other side, you’ll feel like you got paroled from prison.
❤
This is terrifying. I’m sickened by the recent realization of how I have been fooled by a covert.🤯
Outstanding! Spot on 💯
best way to deal with them? respond as little as possible to their words or actions, until you can safely leave permanently. everything you say and do will be used against you.
The part about slandering you to people who know you is often not spoken about, they can also slander you to people in their circle who know you too to get them on side.
I'm still shocked how believe the nac when they know you I've had to walk away from everyone
And If people are comfortable agreeing with the narc it clearly shows they didn’t know me at all. Soo not my loss
You’re right! They enjoy watching you plead to be understood. I explained myself for decades to my narc dad and sister in so many ways that my intentions were good when I was accused of doing something and found myself at wits end constantly. It took me to my late 50’s to realize they don’t want to “understand” and they liked watching me defend myself. It was like their feeding frenzy. The cognitive dissonance is awful. Especially when it’s your blood family of origin, and they lie, embellish and make you the bad guy….always 😢
You sound like me, with the exception of my dad .. it's my sister that has been using me as her mindless slave starting at the age of 11 , shi twelve years older than me so for the past forty years of my life I've had to walk on egg shells so as not have the wrath that she would lash out on me , she also did that to our mom throwing tantrums.
Now not only do I have my narcissist sister but her flying monkey of a husband to deal with during holidays which I'm already dreading 😟
@@kencarson7310 oh I’m so sorry! I haven’t had contact with my dad or sister in 3-4 years now, and our holidays have been so much better. It’s difficult to go no contact, but so worth it. God bless you!
I understand what you are saying. I had to finally say “that’s it” when my father refused to do anything about my narc sister and cut contact. It took me almost 50 years to do it and I wasn’t speaking to either one of them for the next 18 months until he died. I went back for the funeral for one day and then skipped back out again. It was sad that he refused to defend my mother and I from her. Would I make the same decision to go no contact even 7 years after he died and 9 years after I made the decision, you bet. It preserved my sanity.
@@bmbutler2 thank you for your message. I would imagine it was hard going to the funeral. I just don’t know what I will do when that time comes, or even when someone from the family passes away, because my dad has smear campaigned against me with such crazy lies. It’s like darned of you do, darned if you don’t. But they are the pretenders, and their flying monkeys and fans they have bought are fooled for whatever money or pity they are throwing out there. It’s all a shame.
God bless you
Sorry to hear that, even with what I deal with now I can't imagine what you've been through mentally.
The one thing that a narcissist hates is when you show them proof of something they've done to others around you in front of the narcissist. That just infuriate the living hell out of them. This way, everyone sees the narcissist true colors and it's never pretty. But the narcissist has to deal with it, and you don't, so don't apologize, period a narcissist doesn't deserve one.
✨️My mom and brother✨️ they've gotten so much worse to just think I have abandonment issues from the man claiming me as a toddler & him running away when I was 3 my mom was all I had and a few years ago I couldn't imagine leaving her it takes alot to push someone with abandonment issues to strive to leave that person I cannot wait to escape here
True
@arthur…. So very true!!! And one of the best ways of showing proof is to record everything they say and do!!!
He hated the fact that could make friends easily… he was a very jealous person
Jealous isn’t the word!! This MOFO got upset when I read a book.. 😳
Same. Everywhere that we went she noticed that people knew me and she hated it. She even shamed me for it. She wanted the spotlight at all times.
❤
Yep!!!! 👍🏾
I really appreciate your advice, I'm in a battle with 4 narcissistic people and I'm fighting for my grandmother's human rights
They will dismiss you. They will assume they are being attacked whenever you disagree with them voicing their hate for others. Staying calm and unaffected is the only way to live through any encounter with said narc.
Don't entertain a clown or you become part of their circus...I DON'T CARE about how they feel... period..if they choose to behave that way ( and it IS a choice) then I will tear them down in ways that if anything might jar them n hopefully they will decide to want something better ..do NOT let ppl make you think that it's not something that they can change..that's a bunch of BS
Do not fight back, just get away!!!
Never tell a narcissist your secrets! Or any significant personal information. Keep it casual and tell them you don't want to hear any gossip. Period, no venting to me either, keep it positive only, they don't like that, then go no contact.
So sadly true. I had to leave my narcissistic sister after 72 yrs of her berating me. I believed her. We were born on the same day, BUT I was born on her birthday. No contact since she told me November 2021 that I was permitted to call her, but not to go visit. I said, "Goodbye and I won't call " I did not even go to my little sister's funeral because I knew she would be there. My little sister's husband said, "She behaved herself " Incredibly sad to live with this.
@@daveedwards7366 Agreed! There is no fight back. They don't even care enough to even try to understand how you feel. I tried for 70+ years to be good enough. Nope!
Dealt with one recently and it's beyond belief how everyone around them doesn't even know them or know those lies and emotional manipulation tactics.
Exactly!!! I spoke to close friends and all one could say is he’s been like this since they were kids. Okay now we are grown, tell that man his mind is gone lol. Idk, but I lived with my narc for 6 yrs and have been gone any four months, I see his fb post abt me and they are so many lies idk. It’s like he still drives me crazy even when I’m not with him
@@Sexy-Chocolate23 And in my case that i am like a polite person and respect People of all kinds races no matter what but i have a short fuse so once my bag is full and i see that is not an isolated act its a pattern i take action and say things like they are , and still they are capable of make you look to evryone like wrong to act towards the disrespect the neglect the minimizing the invalidating beyond belief and i study psychology since i was 17 so it is mind boggling no one can see it .
Narcissist will use any tact they can to use and abuse you and make you feel like you're to blame for everything. They need to be shut down and out. Thanks for this video.
Especially, after they create their own drama by twisting facts to their own advantage, then when they get caught, it's everybody's fault but their own.
The only way to deal with a Narcissist is to ignore them completely and stay one step ahead of their BS, their flying monkeys, and their water bugs... Keep your family and friends far away because the narcissist will want to follow you to all your gatherings.
Leave them home alone to deal with themselves. The less people they know, the better you are.
They will only do to your friends what they have done to you.
"water bugs"??? Wut?
Before i go through all that. His ass would have to go!
I don't eat in the lunchroom at work anymore.
My ex added like 8 of my friends as soon as we were official because "they just came up in people you may know" and I believed him. 😔
Flying monkeys are everywhere--' these days '
As an adult I got very sick and had to move home for several years. My father has always been abusive. I started standing up to him and after him telling me twice that he would hit me in the face if I didn't shut up, I left and called the police. I had warned him not to threaten me and if he did I would call the police (big tactical error on my part). I found out later that he called attorneys and was going to try to claim ELDER abuse. They are total cowards and will go to any lengths to destroy you.
Oh wow... one time when I was 1st an adult, my younger brother and his friend wanted to stay the night while I was out of town.. so I let them. My brother was around 15 at the time. Well my dad came to my apartment complex, spoke to my manager... saying that I was harboring runaways and trying to get me kicked out of my home and in trouble with the law. I literally was two towns away and had no idea what was going on? I was doing my kid brother a favor not trying to hide him. My dad was very verbally and occasionally physically abuse to all us kids so I assumed my brother just need a break from his house and he left my house the very next day before I even returned home. I totally feel for you... narcissists are the worst!! I have been zero contact with him since 2020.
Omg...I know exactly what you mean. My 93 yr old father is like that. They never quit with their shenanigans!!!
Sad.
Best thing is to go dark. Move, get a new job. Don't get mail at your address, get a p.o. or UPS box. I had one who stalked me for 15 years. Now there is another one my ex landlady's drug addicted nephew who claims he was in the military. I don't think he has ever worked he has always lived with her. He put tracking equipment on my car. I am going to build my case on this dirtbag and if the local cops can't help, I will go to the feds because he uses and sells drugs. I am done with this crap. I pray his aorta ruptures and he dies when he smokes his crack or someone shoots him or runs him over. Maybe I can get state or federal legislation enacted when this is over and done with.
One day my narc mother pushed me and I pushed her back. She didn't fall barely looses a step but she called the police on me. When the police arrived I told them she pushed me first and she agreed ( she thinks that because she's my mother she has the right to abuse). The cops told her that's she's lucky all I did was push back and that they would have responded the same way I did 😂. She was sooooo embarrassed. It was awesome
You can break free, it doesnt matter if its a parent or relative or who ever, you dont have to subject yourself to people who upset you. Stay clear.
I have an adult son with autism who has three year old mentality. Can't simply get away from abusive narcissist mother of son.
❤amen
Everything about this is absolutely correct. I’ve done a bit of research on narcissism, because it happened to me.
It’s almost 12 years since I left a sociopathic psycho (which is a form of narcissism) after 5 years of living hell. He abused me in every way; emotionally, verbally, psychologically, and yes, physically. The beatings were bad, but the psychological abuse was worse- the controlling, the fear, the threats…. And always making himself look like the perfect husband whilst dragging me down to his level and slowly dragging me away from my family and friends.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you so much for sharing this.
I truly hope this helps whom ever needs to hear what you’ve said.
What you said is so true I have been through all that you said I even end up in the hospital with heart failure but thank God I am ok now with the help of no contact
@@sophia28y Thank God you’re ok. 😘
Why did you stay for 5 years?
How right you are the same here,
Becouse when you are teen bride you do not know and he was a year older gone now but i have neaver been the same every one thought he was wonderfull his dad told him keep them fare foot and pregnet he did and got too my kids,
Took me 40-something years to realize my lil old Black mother, who sits in the front pew at church, is a narcissist. As Black children-especially male children-we are not taught to be critical of our mothers. Society teaches us to rip our Black fathers to shreds; but we never examine our mother’s behavior…
Furthermore, the stereotype of a narcissist is that of a well-educated, sophisticated, successful white male. But there are a lot of Black mothers with high school diplomas working as secretaries and grocery store cashiers who are narcissists.
I am Greek and it was the same for me. You Americans are so annoying with your race. What happened to you and me is a human thing, ok?
Somehow I feel sorry for your mother. I hope she's safe. Where's your daddy?
@@LK-ii6xu My father passed away, even as my parents were married nearly 50 years…Somehow, without the benefit of a college education, he, my father, being our family’s primary breadwinner, managed to put two (2) boys (my brother and I) through private, parochial middle- and high schools, and even help support us in university. So please save your phony compassions.
Like it or not, there are some horrible Black mothers out here, absolutely diabolical. One need only look at the state of our community, the pews of our churches, inside the prisons, there’s a common thread running through each-Black children born out-of-wedlock raised by single Black mothers. Statistically speaking, we know that is the greatest indicator of troubled young adults: teen pregnancy; criminal activity; mental and behavioral problems; underemployment; unemployment; lack of education; drugs…
We spent the previous forty (40) years, the Oprah morning talk show era, examining the role of Black fathers, or lack thereof; it’s past time we do the same for Black mothers.
There’s a reason so many of today’s educated, “successful” Black men raised by single Black mothers are becoming “Passport Bros”… can’t blame all of it on colorism; some of them had mothers who were nothing short of evil.
That's sad but interesting. Sorry for your loss of a hard working Dad! Sorry for your bad experiences! May the Lord heal you 🙏
@kisswriters, much of the problem is "absent" Blk fathers. It's easy to point the finger at the single Blk mother, when in actuality, a people group meets its demise when the man (the supposed head) is out of order.
I do hope you work through your anger and heal. If males operate from a bitter place, no passport in the world will help them to attract a good woman who is mentally and emotionally healthy.
(I'm glad you admit that passport bros have mommy issues)
If you think you may be with a narcissist, get out and run as fast as you can. You may feel love for them and it may hurt to leave but it’s the best thing you can do for your own well-being. Give them the chance and they will do their best to destroy you, your relationships with family and friends and you will end up doubting your own sanity.
So true. I lost my best friends, I lost my sister. I was alienated from everyone and finally I was a broken down heap of nothing until one day a teenager told me I’m involved with a narc. A Flippin teenager had to tell my 42 year old self. She told me to look on TH-cam. I never saw her again. And now I’m back. No more BS. But what a journey I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy
Im so hurt, scared and betrayed of thinking this person was good but im an idiot for not leaving sooner, I had no knowledge of this love bombing, and all these other slimy tricks they use. Im in process of running and its not easy but can't wait till im free. 😢
@@joekara Best advice I could give you is to keep focused on your future. Don’t be sucked back in. Took me a while to get my life back together but the struggle was worth it. Very happy and content now and wouldn’t change it for anything. You can get there too.
@@slumdogjay thanku, I feel like im gonna get sucked back to the friendship but I hv to realise the abuse and actually stick to my boundaries of why I needed to leave in the first place.
@@joekara Exactly. Sounds like you are on the right track. When you feel you may be getting sucked back in just think about how bad things got. Also think about having to start all over again if you did go back. You would just be wasting more time which would be better spent focusing on yourself and making a better life. It’s not easy but it really is worth it in the end. You will get through this and be a stronger happier person for it in the end. I sincerely wish you the best of luck. You can do it.
It's common for relationships to encounter obstacles, but there is always a solution. My own marriage faced considerable issues, but with appropriate guidance, my husband and I worked through them and deepened our connection. Solutions are achievable if you're ready to work together. Stay hopeful-there's always a way forward.
I'm facing significant relationship problems and can't stand the idea of losing him. My love and longing for my partner are profound, and I'm ready to do anything to restore our connection. I would greatly appreciate any advice or help you could give.
Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. His name is Father Akunna.
I'II quickly search for him online. Thank you.
I'm optimistic that taking this approach will yield results for me as well; his absence is keenly felt.
I promise you will not regret it.
I just searched for Father Akunna online indeed he is a very generous man and the most powerful spell caster that I have ever seen he brought my husband back to me with so much love ❤
Getting goosebumps. This video was meant for me. Struggling with a narcissist in my life. I needed to see this
Me too
Get creative at shutting them down in ways that amuse you n they hate that...I've got a gift for that..I upset them now as I laugh at them while I blast them..
Get rid of them I did
Have you ever seen the movie; the burning bed? Just sayin
@@seansands424easier said than done.
My mother-in-law is a narcissist. Every time she visits, it's so emotionally draining and overwhelming. At first I had no idea what was going on, I didn't understand what was happening.... I've only recently began to discover what this was all about. More people need to talk about this and make this known. It plays with your mind, that's for sure. Thank you for your vid and your information.
@Cherished Cat Lover It's the worst.... like, just leave me alone! Sheesh.
@Cherished Cat Lover Absolutely! I always have to abide so close to Him after a visit just to get back to where I was before she came!
*my ex's mom in law was very toxic & snarky*
I finally figured out why I felt so drained every time I visited my sister. Yep
OmG same with me!! Now m staying in other country and No contact with her! Freedommm!
If you absolutely have to “deal” with a narc, I would recommend to keep firm bounderies, and keep your distance at the same time. As a second choose on how to deal with the narcissist I would recommend keeping firm boundaries and also to correct them every time they missteps, lie, manipulates etz. When your boundaries are not respected by the narcissist, you need to follow through with consequenses of bad behaviour. You will have your hands full going forward this way. When following through with consequenses to their “re”actions, you explain to the narc, that you are not one of the narc`s victims. You have no intentions of becoming one but will be a nuisance to the narcissist in a way that is irritating to him/her. This method is not risk free but narcissists will often choose the path of no or low resistance. This method is a time consuming path to chose. This route sometimes require more time than you would like to spend on these issues. You feel that distancing yourself all together would have been easier. That is however not always possible. Often there is no way to avoid him/her. You unfortunately have to deal with the narcissist because you are colleagues or close family. You must think through what you need the narcissist to respect and what arias of conflict you must pay extra attention to, to keep your integrity and to detect manipulative behavior. Be prepared and clear in your communication and stick to your guns. Try to stay under the radar as much as you can, even when this method is the best for you. A way that works as well is to play along with the narcissist and act like you agree with everything they do and say. This method works well until many people in the narcissists sphere do the same. When everyone agrees with the narcissist you are back on square one. The narcissist must have victims and this setting is no different. To go NO Contact is another good alternative and method, and is probably the best option when it is possible to cut all contact permanently. Additionally, If you’re like me you might want to consider monitoring your partner device it can be done through a variety of methods such as setting up a dedicated app or else you get in touch with this private investigator Metaspyhub@gmail. com that is genuine to make your request done successfully with 100% guarantee.
I need
Guys! I am two weeks out of moving out of a bad situation with a narcissist and it's been the most positive and happy two weeks I've had in years in spite of how stressed I am!
Edit: 5 weeks out and it has gotten sooooo much better even more! I feel more myself, less anxious, less stressed and mentally chaotic, and it's been so nice not having heard hateful things said to me in over a month.
Don't be stressed. You will start a new life. Beware of attracting another one. Time to go forward and live a happy life. Don't let another like this back in to your life. There are good times out there. It is always hard leaving this situation behind but when you look back you'll be glad.
It keeps getting better and better, too. Enjoy the journey❤
@@janetmalcolm6191 thank you so much for the kind words!
@@sfc5774 thank you! I am now 5 weeks out and my life has continued to dramatically improve! My well being is like night and day. I can't believe how awesome it is to have that element of my life not causing me to so much stress and pain.
Thank you all for the encouragement!
@@aethrya You might find things tough but you will get your self esteem back and peace of mind. No relationship is better than a bad one. I truly think that.)You will get things together (if you haven't already) and remember you are no 1 now. If you are happy you will attract happiness. Even bad situations don't last forever usually. You will be on track onwards and upwards. Good luck for your new future.
"The narcissist's goal is to gain their trust, so they may treat them like mindless servants." Yes. This is where I have blindy been in my marriage the last 19 years. I always wondered why he never trusted me, why he treated me like a lower being that wasn't capable of standing in my own two feet. Constantly criticizing, making me feel stupid. Cutting down my self esteem and being verbally and emotionally abusive. His needs always came first and he always had some logical reason why they should. It makes me sick that he did this to me and that it took me so long to try and get out with my kids. Narcissists are controlling, underhanded, two-faced lying a-holes who will suck the life of of you until you literally have nothing left to give, and then they will try to take more. Don't let it get as far as I did.
26 years married to a narc who is now my ex for going on 6yrs. I know how you feel, they steal your youth, vitality, and mind. I’m glad you got out. May we both find the peace that we deserve.
Just like my last boss. It took me two years to figure out what was going on and I did so much research I could write a book on narcissism. I actually believed all his lies and manipulation until I had my eyes opened to narcissism. Best day of working there was two years ago today when I left him a resignation letter and the door key while he was out of town not knowing that he was walking back into our game of chess with me making the “checkmate” move. I work at a great place now with great people. That guy? He’s gone through 3 employees besides myself in those 2 years.
I do hope you get out soon, it took me 26 yrs to get out. Fortunately he already had a girlfriend at work so he didn't spend to much time trying to track me down
@@bmbutler2 good for you!! Perfect way to leave. Narcs are everywhere, unfortunately.
@@Kathleen253 glad you got out. Peace and continued healing for you 🙏🏼.
It's an unbelievable thing to read the comments below and realize that people who are strangers to me are going through the SAME, EXACT THINGS I'm going through. I can tell by reading one-sentence comments the types of CRAP this person has gone through. My heart goes out to all who are suffering and victimized by narcissism.
I had no idea my coworker was so famous. Clearly this is 100% about him.
I had my words used as their defense.
The gaslighting, constant talking over, constant redirection of conversations, the rage if you even bring up anything that they may have done wrong.
This is the first time someone has mentioned the hellbent on plundering your resources, intent on thoroughly destroying you aspect! Financial ruin hasn't been mentioned in any of the dozen or so videos I've already watched. Thank you for all this information! Well done.
Yes they want control of every aspect of your life
Absolutely. It happened to me and I am currently stuck. Now that I know, when I get unstuck I'm staying that way. I believed he would appreciate my efforts and would do right by me. I was wrong.
financial ruin, simply trying to destroy your health,physical health, mental ..inner circle, firends, foreigners. I honestly believw these people should be in jail..I do believe they know what they are doing !!! And still...they destroy you..
Many comments are right; I know what they are. Narcissist are taught by their parents. I've been there for 33 yrs, but I made up my mind years ago to not let him win. I am much stronger woman than he is a man today. They're not winners, but I didn't give up. I sought higher power, Jesus Christ! I'm not a quitter, so He helped me and will never stop being there for me. I wasn't able to explain my determination, but now I know. When they don't win it will become violent for a while, hang in there simply becuz Jesus can't help a quitter.
Everything said was Sooooo true. I'm married to one and learned the hard way how deceiving he is but thank God for all the lessons. Because of videos like this I've learned to ignore him. I do not reward bad behavior, I show no emotions of disappointment just being happy and in love with myself. I find it strange he won't leave therefore I let him pay all the bills and I live as a single woman.
I stopped paying for everything. I stopped reacting to anything he did.
I stopped following him to events to boost his image. He came up with a strange list of my supposed 'crimes' against him in a bid for divorce in court.
I had lost my friends by this time. I had stopped working because he complained about my travels, my expenditure, everything I did. I didn't even know that there was a personality disorder of this nature.
Smart woman and make sure you stack some money on the side.
@@barbarabridgetbensah9601 his events like 30 football games the last year we were married but sabotaging my events and friendships? telling me he owned me, that I looked old and was a loser. drinking every day. trashing my things. physical. after 35 years I freed me from the disrespect. now I love my life.
Yesss!!! THIS IS HOW WE TAKE OUR POWER BACK✨
Good on you but be careful
The endless games are so wearying. They can be so cruel.
I have been hated by my friends for standing up to a narcissist before! I lost my entire college circle. I don't regret losing them now though! My mental health is more important.
Same goes for my school friends
Seems like today we are living with more narcissistic behavior it's scary because they can get you fired and hurt your career. I moved on but have trauma and don't trust people as much.
Check out 2 Timothy 3 in the Bible. It’s a very short chapter that explains this generation in an amazing way…
Unfortunately it is not going to get better, but there is hope given by the author of it.
The very middle verse of the Bible is:
Psalm 118:8 It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.
Worse when it’s members in your family.
I was targeted and my contract was not renewed. A year later the narc minion and narc supervisor fell out, and minion was fired.
@@tommyparkerparkerI agree to a point, except on the job you can’t avoid them or go no contact, unless you quit.
@@salliegallegos918 True to that.
They live in a world of their own fantasy where everyone is a potential threat to them, and assume the worst of everyone. They see themselves as the victim of everyone else's treachery, so they can justify every cruel thing they do to others.
When a narcissist tries to clone your appearance, they are hoping to become the person who they are jealous of and admire.
Unfortunately they cannot duplicate the other aspect of that cloned identity, because they lack the character that gets the respect they are needing more than anything!
Bingo 🎉❤
You are so right!
So right ✅️
Thank you for sharing your 👍 to the truth. You need to find your own path….
Never letting your guard down with your whole family is extremely exhausting! I’m tired!
I read your comment and thought it was mine!
Ditto.... Very tiring..... Family is meant to be cosy heaven, but it is turned into a snake cage... King Solomon saw it when he wrote in Proverbs.... better the wilderness than live in a wide house with.... You got it.
Leave
@@josephsworldoftaekwondo5059 I did by God’s grace and power! I’m free baby! 😂
Not only was this the most accurate description of a narcissist, it is sad to see in the comments, just how many people's lives have been destroyed by a relationship with a narcissist. My own experience has proved that the narcissist will never stop. You must do whatever necessary to regain your sanity and freedom, but they will never stop. It truly is a sickness for which the narcissist will never get help because they don't see that they are the problem. Distance yourself from them the best you can. It helps to see this as a sickness and don't hate them for it. It can be an opportunity to set a new path for yourself which will undoubtedly be better than the one you were on.
OMG exactly ! I know own , it is the same as everything you say. What a charmer in the begining, now I'm always the one that's wrong eben if I said nothing, make others think I'm a bad person, sick, I'm trying to get myself help for depression , anxiety( social ) and panic attacks. I don't trust anyone any more from a lot of things in my life . That's all. God Bless.
Most seek vulnerable people and nice and with good character in order to destroy the person. Most need extreme help.
I could not agree more
When you understand them, you can turn their games around on them. The best situation is when they try to turn others against you, then you use that same group to expose the person by reverse engineering their game (they'll plant seeds against you and act like they are the victim, so you only say good things about them and defend them against the people that start to come to you with bits of info), so the group that was supposed to be used as a tool for them doesn't work. Also, doing the opposite reaction of what was intended by their set ups. It scrambles their computers 🖥
I literally grey-rocked EVERY strategy they used against me, which of course, made them angrier, but I don’t care. I love acting like they don’t exist!
@@1LovedbyHim lmao
@@1LovedbyHim she hates it when I do that
What if both are narcissist but one’s tired of fighting and don’t want to play games any more and the other will never admit to being wrong about anything even when seen or heard
The only way to win is not to play. That is what I found. My wife and I cut off a family member like this, and to this day she complains to other how we wont talk to her. We just refuse to play, although in time most of the family has seen through the nonsense.
Absolutely. My mother has severely hurt my and my sisters lives in many aspects. But at the end of the day I’m a young man who is learning to get better and I most certainly will. It’s good to have that perspective to know it could always be worse. Much love to everyone
Breaking the cycle, good on you!
I am learning to not show any emotions I have a hard time with that one because I’m very emotional but I’ve been using my poker face more and more with my husband he says the most meanest things to me and I used to cry and ask why ?
To day I just walk away
I'm right in the middle of going through this. I pray I get away from him and this toxic environment, and pray to God this whole situation doesn't kill me before I can finally break free.
✨🙏✨
You have to be strong you survived until the truth was exposed, you will be better!! These creatures are terryfing...for real.
I pray you get through it... I did it you can too🙌
May God help you get out and set you free and keep you safe in Jesus name
It's amazing how truth comes out every day! Thank you Lord!😊🎉
Married to one. He didn't count on the Sicilian Italian wife would get in his face. I tell him like it I'd. He hates my strong personality. Lol
He caught me at a vulnerable time. They look fir that. They want to be your hero. Slowly but surely. You will realize they are not partners. In there head you work for them. Very very selfish people. Truly no regrets
Excellent information. So true. Living through this. They will resort to anything to make themselves look good and you look bad. Clone your phone, put streaming cords throughout the home. They are very, very disloyal, can't be trusted, deceitful, lustful empty on the inside. People most miserable.
So true. My phone was cloned and hacked 🤦🏽♀️.. invasion of privacy..
@@michellemokone3344 I am so sorry this happen to you. But God will vindicate for you. God has been my peace all through this nightmare. I don't even know what could of prepared me for such gross evil and the people who help them. Stated strong and be blessed, in my prayers.
Happened to me. These people will do anything to cover up their false lives,lies,make you look bad. Too much misery.
@@barbarasims8467 thank you so much. It’s not easy in the beginning it’s been a month and a couple of weeks now since the discard. The pain and hurt is so deep. But yah your right, God really saved us. It shall pass.. 🙏🏽
It's so true,that's how it starts! You help them heal and then they try and destroy you!
What are you saying I didn’t try that!!!
True! The sad part is on many occasions you find out who they are but still stick around them because you feel vulnerable and lonely or empty. The thing is it isn't worth it. Learn to love yourself. Learn to be a lone wolf. Learn to let evil people go. Either that or you play them at their own games.
@@katherinebragg9166 lol Maybe you're actually the narcissistic one.
Disagree with the last part, well to a degree. I think learn to play their game but don't actually play it unless you have too
@Katherine Bragg why the fuck are you asking a random person in a this comment section that. Ask an actually PROFESSIONAL
@@absolutelyfookinnobody2843 my reply landed in the wrong place. Excuse me for putting a kink in your craw
Learn to let evil people go….. that hit me.❤
They continue to abuse and terrorize their children into adulthood, seeing them as personal property whose purpose in life is merely to shower them with adoration and to relentlessly cater to them while taking the blame for everything. The rage when an adult child refuses to comply with them and imposes consequences for their disgusting behaviour is spectacularly unhinged; facts simply don't matter to these people, and you cannot convince them that their children even have basic human rights they have to respect.
🎯
I have such a dad to my children, God help us
If you’re a strong person, you pose an immediate threat to narcissists, at which point they will try to pull stunts other than usual.
Stay alert and aware of their nonsense.
Very well said!!
Was married to one,everything you said is true, but until you realise what is going on&that there is a pattern repeat to their behaviours you just struggle to get free,they switch roles&gaslight you til you are doubting yourself and the revelation of who they truly are becomes blurred again. No contact is vital for your own well being&sanity,time to heal&recover from this traumatic experience. Well done to all who escaped,freedom is so precious&now you can share your love with many,instead of being sucked dry by one!!!
ABSOLUTELY THE BEST study on the narcissist we have EVER listened to. This comment is from Brian's wife. He is the adult survivor of two narcissist parents. The devil is the original narcissist. Anyway, just subscribed. Thank you!
What a bizarre comment. Get help. Weird. Red flag alert!!!
I'm a good narcissist repellent:)
yes, from my point of view: the devil equals the narcisist.
Great enlightening video! I was a victim of my narsisist abusive ex husband. But I resently found out that I was also a victim of narsisistic parents/family. But I also see my own narsisistic behaviour in the past and presence, something I didn't know. Victims, especially when they are emotionally damaged, often become perpetrators. When you want to be set free, you have to embrace the truth and go through the inner pain it causes. Embrace the time to mourn. A life lesson I am going through right now.❤
Me to thank yout for your genuine expressions
This describes my venomous ex wife perfectly who even said “I need to be in control of everyone around me”. She finally left and found a perfect man who physically & emotionally abuses her regularly and delivers the karma she so deserves.
My narcissist knows I’m on to him and he’s trying to guilt me. Narcissists are so good at what they do, if you use even one word that shows them you doubt their integrity, they manifest into a monster. How dare you question them?
They will not change. If you want peace you have to get them out of your life.
Diane, SO TRUE! The blame shifting, guilt manipulation, deflection along with other gaslighting tactics are NON-Stop when they are trying to control their victim or maintain the control... continually manipulating and controlling another person IS abuse. Stay strong!!
YES!
Thank you for your videos. With an Overt Narcissist first he may make promises to change then when that does not work, aggression, and physical violence. He will try to get you back under his control by any means necessary. You are his property no matter how many times he has cheated and left you. I had to leave the state making it more difficult for him to have access to me. This narc traveled to where I was living 5 states away and tried to drag me back cave man style. I have read that the lesser narcissist has poor cognitive function and low impulse control. Some are even capable of rape when they suffer a narcissistic injury. While I believe all narcissist can lash out violently when enraged and suffering from a narcissistic injury it is even more so with the lesser. My experience with this narcissist was even if we separated and he had moved on with a new supply source he would still come around to make sure I was not seeing anyone. If I happened to start dating he became violent even when he was engaged with someone new. Most narcissist when they are love bombing a new supply source will not want the one they discarded in the picture at least in the beginning of his new relationship. If they are engaged with a new supply source and still Hoovering you for fuel they have a sadistic streak. This narcissist cheated throughout the entire marriage. He engaged in triangulation with his first wife. She was a constant in our marriage until her suicide. The Covert Narcissist may try to come back after they have been involved in a few relationships which did not work out. When they try to come back they are low on supply and suffering from depression because of a loss of narcissistic supply. They love to tell you about the relationships they have been in and now they are smearing the person they left you for. They may tell you the person they have been in a relationship with has been abusing them. The Covert may apologize for all his past transgressions and the way he discarded you. He will have an excuse as to why he was so abusive and cruel at the end. It can play with your mind wondering if he is truly sorry. He can even have tears. You have to remember the tears are for himself. He is down and out with no available supply source. You must remember how he was at the end when he discarded you and the mask came completely off. He will seem desperate to keep you around as the Hoover takes place. And he is desperate for narcissistic supply. This is a midrange narcissist I’m talking about here and although very capable of violence he needs to put on a good show to convince you he really is a good person. This narcissist really does believe he is a good person and needs others to see him as such. If you see through this narcissist and don’t buy his story he may leave you alone. He will slink away like the snake that he is in search of new supply sources. Narcissist don’t like to waste their energy and when he sees you are not buying into it he is forced to search out new supply sources. I say forced because it is life or death to him to keep the false construct in place. In order to keep the false self in place he needs narcissistic supply. He needs the admiration of others or he ceases to exist. When you no longer buy the lie he will move on. Covert Narcissist do not display the open grandiosity of the Overt. While the Overt seems full of confidence the Covert lacks self esteem. The Covert will use a lot of pity plays working on your sympathetic nature. He wants you to feel sorry for him. The Covert is a coward. In any case Overt or Covert they suffer a narcissistic injury when they are rejected by an ex. They think they own you for life. In both cases I left the state when my marriages ended:) Additionally there is no way you can be too sure that your spouse isn’t cheating behind your back. The only way you can be sure if your spouse is cheating on you or not is “TO FIND OUT“. Get to find out about a cheating spouse with evidence to prove it by spying their mobile and thereafter gaining access to all the things they might have been hiding away from you. If you need to find out about a cheating spouse; send a request to: *Metaspyhub@gmail. com*
Andrew, thank you so much for articulating all of this.. it's pure oxygen for the mind and soul. A real comfort.
This video description is accurate, always keep in mind no empathy means no limits on how far they may go, all the way to them is ok.
Narcissistic tactics can consist of trying to make someone look Narcissistic.
I saw this so many times. Especially in women unhappy in their couple.
This is insane. I can't even believe I'm listening to this random video that TH-cam inexplicably recommended. I'm 33, and haven't spoken to my mom in six years because she abused me since the day I was born and tried to get back to it when I got out of the army at age 27.
I've searched for years to find a word to describe her long list of behaviors, but I could never find that word until now. Thank you.
I'm like you. I'm 31 but haven't spoken to my mother in 6 years. It's scary but once you understand you realise you cannot change then just yourself. So sadly but necessary you remove yourself. My mother still gives me nightmares to this day.
Sir, I have to say thank you. I have been dealing with a narcissist niece lately. A very envious sik piece of trash. I will refuse to add some sorts of good titles for her. I hate everything about her bc I refuse to embrace the toxicity. I trust that by now, she realizes this. She is greedy and lies, steals, even stealing my degrees to make herself look good. She goes out of her way to spread lies for her to look better. But, I care zero of her. Furthermore, my X was also a narcissist. Hence, I know the behaviors well. But to here you hit the hammer on the nail makes me confirm I was correct to get rid of them both. Great video thanks be safe!!!
So many narcs use religion as a cover.
Like my mom. She will act like she believes in god, yet she is heartless.
True..
@@remybuitenhuis2433
OMG so so true! My mother yells and screams at me including gaslighting about how disrespectful I am towards her. I asked her if I’m the only one of her children she treats the way she does? She started to hurl insults at me. She told me how bad of a communicator I am by how I often I repeat myself while telling stories. I laughed and said this conversation is not good for me and I ended the conversation. She’s very active in her church…
@@remybuitenhuis2433there are two gods in this realm. The real one that most if not all people serve obey and accept and the real one that has never stopped providing.
Its so true 😢
And these Narcissistic people you're speaking of even try to control each other, they're one of the vengeful sorts.
Slander and lie on you. They hate your light
That's what he did!!@
My prayer is that narcissistic personality disorders should be included in the diagnostic manual for mental disorder because their behaviour towards their victims can be damaging.
Their behaviour is a public health hazard. It should be put on list of top 5 diseases to eradicate.
Thanks! I needed this. My destroyed and desolate emotions finally put into words that I am apparently incapable of...
The number one trick to control a narcissist is to make them always they are so bore to yu, never hear them, make them feel yu are ignoring them, sometimes do not answer their questions always even if its valid or not, make a feel of boring with yu, try their behave often when dealing with them, always make them yu as not available, when they try to love bombing, make a yarn and say them without words that keep it in with yu, we cannot always run away from them in the case of family members, take this tricky capsule when dealing with them. Narcissist always win when they are able to hurt yu, so kerp in mind. Live with happy around them. If they try to give yu bad label just feel them as yu are very grateful with that label and be like a devil in front of them. Always put a mask of never mind set.
Isn’t it amazing quite how many narcissists there are.
Amazing, Hell no😅they need to vanish or have their heads re-examined by the creator. Disturbing is how I view the amount of deranged narcs there are in the world!
And there seems to be a lot more of them around.
Theres more awareness, and honestly social media became a narcissist breeding ground. Social media , embracing the false image and their false self i feel like made this whole new type or made a potential much more likely to become one.
Yep time wasters
Its crazy bcos you cant create a healthy relationship anymore . Either you make a relationship that drives you crazy or you stay alone and enjoy the silence. I agree with the person that said this about social media. Fuckin instagram promotes perfectionism of human body, of human life etc. Many people are aware and dont get caught in the trap but its sad because many people without critical thinking fall in this trap and they become a very dangerous narcissistic spiece.its crazy because narcs are mentally weak af and they appear as strong mentally.please stay away from instagram and have a better and stress free life guys !!! Also dont fall for the red flags . Narcissism is fuckin serious and its everywhere nowadays.
I wish I knew this when I was younger and before I got married to the abuser.. I had to learn this lesson in my life because it made me grow into the strongest woman I am now.. I have a wonderful coach who has taught me how to love myself again.. this is the truth of my first spouse, everything that you have said, down to the children, my children have also learned.. I AM NOT A victim of this trauma anymore.. woohoo..
Mine had all his family ignore me from day one. No congratulations on our wedding. Later he told me he'd told everyone not to give us anything. Obviously he lied about me paying for everything. What I didn't know was that in his culture the man and his family pay. I found out many years later when one of my female students was getting married. He succeeded in always isolating me and shared only disinformation. He never had an answer, even about his own culture. But once I asked a pastor's wife about the different types of teas. She didn't even get one word out before he suddenly interrupted and explained in detail! The expression on her face when she saw my 😮surprise showed she knew what was going on. She asked me to attend her church, but my husband quickly got me away from her, insisted I go with him to the car. I was confused, didn't want to make a scene, especially since friends had taken us there to meet her and her husband. It was useless bringing it up because he'd only change the topic and/or ignore me. For so many years his entire relationship with me was nothing but deceit. However, after separating, I came upon these videos and now I finally understand. I have to stay in contact because he controls all the finances and my visa to stay abroad. But I'm so thankful for the miracle that got me away so I would then find these kinds of videos to learn from. If not, I would never have known. I am so grateful for each of the messages shared with us. They not only are helping our mental, physical, and spiritual but also reinforcing how beautiful we are. Thanks again for your informative videos!
Op
Be encouraged and learn what the God of the Bible says about you. How beautiful and wonderfully you are made in His image. Learn how God's enemy can't beat Him so he goes after what God loves. Learn his strategies to protect yourself. Peace ❤
Thank you for your encouraging replies. We are so blessed to have finally met others who know exactly 💯what we have gone through. We can deeply appreciate every word and illustration that these videos share with us. I'm sure most, if not all of us, would rather have known much earlier what was really going on in our situations. So now we can make up for it. I thank God all day long for how He helped me to get a separation. One day I may even help others in testimony of His parting of the Red Sea for me. I was raised Catholic but left before high school. A Christian couple walking down the street told me about Jesus and I believed in a second. That was in 1996. I was so beaten down after being with him since 1982 that I was open to anything God had for me. All of the doors He opened reinforced who I am which he wasn't able to make me question. But these videos show us so much-needed knowledge that we can be above our circumstances. Add the wisdom from the Bible and we are unbeatable. As one pastor's wife said, "you would never know she just went through that life- death experience. She didn't show it at all. She's so full of joy." And, I genuinely was!
You completely described my ex. Thank you so much it feels so good to see I am not alone in facing such trauma. I was with a lot of girls before her but it was my first time ever with a narcissist and I had no idea all those love bombing me was just an act. She stole and she cheated just like you described.
I’m The Watcher and a narcissist’s worst nightmare. Memory proof and a powerful family will ruin the narcissist.
After the 6th discard , and knowing full well they are narcissistic, the hurt doesnt last long , maybe a day or two (6month relationship) . The patterns and manipulation become so easy to spot . Also they are hypersensitivity to any percived criticism of them and seem to at any opportunity take things the wrong way. Be prepared to be punished. The last 2 discards i chose to ghost her . She became desperate to fix things this time. Now you know you have them and ready to destroy. Become indifferant to anything they accuse you of or any opinion they have and point out any flaws you think they might have. Let them know you think they are perthetic and unwanted. Then enjoy the show. Then apologise to them if they come back for more , done by mirroring what disgusts you about them , make there flaws yours. Only takes minutes to gain there trust, rince and repeate, till you feel you have them dripping with self hatred. Lastly i made sure she knows you are aware of her hurting , laught and block all contact and smile , knowing you have done what nature would have , being narcissistic back to the narcissist. The circle of life
@@millhouse12 it’s literally hilarious like a 3 yr old temper tantrum lol
@@smoochydatrhino5793NOT FOR THEIR KIDS
Plus a dashcam and any DNA [ie. Hairs you find in your apt that looks like his. Date it keep it in a ziploc bag put it in a safe deposit box].
I'm also a watcher. Feel free to destroy my mum. She actively tried to get me to kill myself.
Everything this man said is true. It was like listening to what's taking place in my life now. I'm forced to work next to a (self diagnosed bipolar)narcissist 10 hours a day- 4 days a week. It's been one of the most trying experiences in my life. It's built me up, broke me down but what it hasn't done is break me. IT WILL NOT BREAK ME!! It's teaching me lessons hard learned in life and thus a blessing in sheeps clothing.
“Never letting your guard down is a hell of a way to go through life.” Maybe better to strive for resilience, agilrty and a strength to respond to adversities when experiencing problems from interacting with narcissists. Being able to be vulnerable is so helpful in the long run.
That's the emotional side of it. Revenge can go way beyond that though. I feel the need to protect myself from that.
This in honesty one of thee best videos on narcissists. I didn’t understand any of the other TH-camrs. But now I am being to get my head round how to spot a narcissist. Thankyou so grateful to you🙏🏼
Thank you, this was extremely helpful to me, now I know what to do----GET AWAY FROM THEM!!!!
One of the famous go to phrases of the narcissist is, "I don't know what you're talking about ",when called out on their b.s.One of the key things covered here is to "Never let your guard down ",the ability to character assassinate someone they've targeted with other associates and colleagues. Being the cowards that they are, they will wait until the person has left the room,laughing and talking with them, before they begin their tactics to discredit and destroy that person's reputation. They genuinely hate everything that they can't manipulate and control. They are so sick that if you escape their control and manipulations, you are going to be attacked repeatedly by them.