I like this cause it’s not about catching him, or tricking him into wanting you, it’s about letting him know you are interested but just don’t want to move too fast. Thanks Matthew 🙏🏽
Crazy Town Productions it’s not about “changing yourself” it’s about figure out the psychology of attracting high quality men. If you have no awareness of how to spot red flags or show a guy you have standards then you will just end up attracting losers.
I was on a 1st date with a guy who said we were going to stop at his house to get his overnight bag. I tried explaining that I didn't feel comfortable with that just yet, and he started screaming at me saying, "What? Am I gonna wait 2 weeks for you!?!" So I started crying, jumped off his motorcycle, and went running down the street in my heels, then I flagged down a cab and went home. If a guy is so disrespectful of women that he expects to shag you on the 1st date, it doesn't matter what you say.
I feel bad for you, I think sharing what you feel is important when you want a long term relationship, and the fact that he didn't want to understand your point of view is crazy. Just continue to tell your date your standards and you'll find many guys that will listen to you.
It's so interesting to see how many people in the comments don't understand what you've just said. This isn't about how soon he expects to sleep with you it's about learning how to communicate yourself authentically but respectfully.
it's funny that women are the ones who search for these types of videos and men just do whatever they want and have us dying over them. women we have to take our power back!!!!
Wow.. I encourge you to go watch some videos on how to get a girl to fall in love with you. You will be amazed how much men struggle with this, just like woman struggle with keeping the guy they like. Both males and females victim shame the other side - it really is so facinating. I'm a man - and that's what I am doing here, I'm looking to understand girls struggles and I'm amazed by the comments here. It's a mind opener to see that a lot of woman have been super hurt by guys, and that woman also get enormously angry at men, just like men get angry at woman for rejecting them. Gl in 2021 and with your life. Peace
Lol, that thing that women are dying over men is funny for me :D Maybe I live in the another reality but for me as a male, or any my male mate, woman never give more than 1, maybe 2 not that obvious clues that she likes me and thats all.
There are men who are dying for a women and men who have options with women and understand that. Guess for which men women dying for and for which not. Same apply for women. People who have choices won't chase, they are usually got chased. As for the bliss point, it is a very dynamic point and needs to be very attuned to get that as the feedback is not direct.
Indeed, I can truly appreciate all of this advice geared towards women getting "the man" but where are the advice channels, forums, etc., catered to men getting & keeping the woman? I'd appreciate him putting in the "brain" work (not the game work) for me too!!! It's very insulting, in my opinion.
only advice channels I know of is how to pick up chicks..getting into a committed relationship with the other person seems to be the woman's job/struggle.
Lola K. The industry for men paying for advice to learn how to get and keep their ideal woman is decades old. It peaked between 2000-2010. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of forums, channels, and organizations that provide training for how to get and keep a woman. Has there ever been a period in history when men didn't have to prove their worthiness of receiving a woman's affection or hand in marriage? This guy, Matthew Hussey, is an incredibly rare exception to historical norms. It's a much-needed initiative to balance the burden of accommodation that has always rested on the shoulders of men in regard to the courtship phase of a romantic relationship.
@@QueenNamaste I'm pretty sure he's trying to give you,and women in general, advice about men who are not dumb. it's not actually his problem if you've been in a relationship or you're attracted to a dumb person.
@Illiterati Absolutely 3rd world. Middle Eastern or Eastern European Neanderthals that think women are property. And by "women" they mean a girl under 21. You're old after that.
You could move heaven or hell to be with someone, if they don’t wanna be with you, they won’t. We complicate things way too much. If you have to play every tricks In the book to get a man, he’s the wrong man. Stop trying to be with ppl who aren’t trying to be with you.
Yes, they can be with you and even love you, but not respect you or treat you well. Or you could set people off through bad communication or crazy reactions. So if you communicate in a good way and you don't get a good reaction, then it is clear this is not a good person for you.
We spent 9 months in womb alone. Ladies, give yourself at LEAST that many months to be alone and find out who we are and what we will tolerate. We don’t need a man. They need US.
Amen sister, no casual sex, dishes or laundry. Happy to do those tasks, after a long courtship, and marriage commitment. Take care out there. Love Princess Holly of Australia 🕊🌿🌳🌲🌱☘🍀🌵🌴🌿🌳🌲🌷🌱
@@smokeybirdman a man that doesn’t provide stability and security is not someone I’m doing wifey shxt for, especially when he feels entitled after paying for a simple dinner. Plenty of other men out there can provide dinner and I can even buy my own dinner, I’m not going to be your slave in exchange for a dinner bro, go back to your prnhub and emptiness
This works for other things in life too! I've had to go through 3 years of therapy to learn how to speak up for myself without being too passive, passive aggressive or aggressive. Learning how to communicate clearly is useful in all situations in life.
Kimberly Conner The greatest thing I have learned in life is the relationship I have with myself. Truly knowing who you are, knowing what makes you feel good and staying true to that. No offense to the male species but I simply will not adjust my schedule to suit their needs or wants anymore. The moment you become so clear about who you are and the extent of your boundaries, communicating with clarity comes natural. If someone is not ready to hear what you have to say. That is their problem. Meditation is a great way to tune in and stabilize that greater inner knowing within yourself. You are the one to listen to for the greatest advice. Only you know best.
Hiii greetings to you from Nigeria 🇳🇬 I'm just seeing you here for the first time though...I saw your profile and I love what I saw, can we be friends I hope you wouldn't mind
I wish that I had a lower IQ so that I could enjoy your company, because you really are putting in a special effort to look stupid by further commenting on something/to someone you think is pathetic, why waste your time? I would explain this to you further with some crayons, because I am sure this won't make any sense to you either, but I have a life to get back to. Have a nice day :)
The thing I don't get is that if a girl does say yes to going back to his house she's considered to have low standards and the guy will look at her with low standards . Yet he is the one who has low standards in the first place to invite her to his house so therefore he's the one being too easy and no standards . But yet the girl is the one who gets the blame if she agrees to go with him. I hate how the girl is always the one who has to communicate and be the strong one in the relationship. It would be nice if guys acted like gentleman and stepped up to the plate as well and didn't put girls in that position.
Gemma Talbot I agree with you on the point that he is the one with low standards. What I miss in the video is Matt saying that if a girl founds herself in such a situation what does it say about the guy: he wants just one thing from her, there is no future, she should walk away (no matter how she handles the situation; in a rude manner or diplomatically as Matt is suggesting) never ever go out with him again.
Gemma Talbot Omg yes, I so agree with this! I don't understand why we have to prove to them that we deserve respect. Why not respect us in the first place? I almost feel like playing this push-pull game makes it harder for me to enjoy myself in the relationship. It honestly feels like manipulation. I don't want to keep trying to control a person's actions to get the result I want. If you feel the need to control the other's behavior, maybe he's just not the right guy for you?
Lucy Young exactly! i hate how its the blame game on the girl, when the guy was the one in the first place to put a girl in that situation. Blossoming Thoughts yes, he is definitely not the right one then if any guy does that. I hate when guys think they can act however they want but then get a good fun girl with high standards. If they want high quality girls they have to act like high quality guys. And you should never have to prove to any guy that you deserve respect or how he should treat you. :)
Gemma Talbot I see your point, but in fact I think we kind of test them too. With many other various situations. Like paying on a first date and so. It does not seem really fair to protest about them testing us. I think it is natural to test your dates. We all have some values we want our partners to fulfill.
I know a guy who made me wait for months of courtship and when I finally did manage to seduce him, he saw me as "easy" afterwards! I had courted, flirted, quoted poetry, and tried to win him over for so long, and after all that hard work, I'm easy. Men don't even recognize when someone is courting them, pursuing them, all they see is a slut, even if that "slut" has had only very few sexual partners (and they know that!). It's so bizarre. This is why women watch these videos because when WE are interested in someone, we have to go through convoluted dishonest charades of feigned disinterest (called "standards") but of course not too much feigned disinterest - it's so complicated! I wish I was a man and could simply try the direct approach.
Because, its a harsh truth that the world is not fair and men are naturally manipulative - their entire biological goal is to reproduce (spread their genes) with as many females as possible hahaha and as we developed the ability to communicate through language - we also learnt to lie, and men lie, so you can either Eat or get eaten, having standards isnt just for men, its just as much a benefit to yourself. You can scare away the narcissistic assholes and attract the good ones who will have respect for you. Win-Win
risha a So freaking agree!!! If your straight forward with what you want, then the correct person will come into your life. Fu@$ ego, and just ask about a persons standard, they will either accept it or not.
I think most of Matthew's advice comes down to a woman's self-respect and self-esteem. if you didn't have a great role model growing up, how would you even know where to start from? I see so many good women, kind women, loving women let men treat them like they are worthless only because they themselves don't believe they are good enough to be happy. It's rather sad. It is definitely not easy being a woman in today's society. Still, it's much better than living in the 1800s...
When she asked him to call her and take her out the following week, I think he would simply believe she's postponing it till then. And that if she says no again he might feel led on. Good advice except for I would change it to basically, "I really am attracted to you, but I don't move that fast. But I would love to see you again."
This is why wonen should wait for 2-3 months with sex and until they are officially their girlfriend. This will weed out almost anyone who just wants sex.
The bliss point! True! After 20 years with my husband I can tell you that a confident wife is a woman of high value to her husband. There is simply no match. A classy and confident woman. Do not be afraid to know what you want, desire, and love and communicate it to your man. Remember: that sweet and salty balance! You can say, my love I would love to watch the game with you because I love spending time with you but I need to do xyz at the moment, I love you (optional: bring him some nachos or beer if he drinks)then go about your business. I wish you all success in learning the ways to communicate. See, I am here watching and I have been with my man for a long time. Take care of your relationships because they are worth it!
just kidding. i have a bliss point to my standards. id really love to let him treat me bad, because he seems great, but i have respect for myself and that's not really my thing. but id love to let him treat me bad at a later date.
Hiii greetings to you from Nigeria 🇳🇬 I'm just seeing you here for the first time though... I saw your profile and I love what I saw, can we be friends I hope you wouldn't mind
Don't give up on life and the universe.... I know of great man who helped me fix my broken heartbeat relationship and everything was restored to normal in days without delay....
Do you know what…where at one time I would’ve totally agreed with you on all of that…just recently over the past few years…I’ve seen time & time again…that it’s the nasty, negative, jealous, harmful, black hearted & just plain down right evil people of this world…who always seem to win at everything in life??!! They’re the ones who seem to wake up every day smiling! Surrounded by many friends who are there whenever they need them! Always seem to be happy! Seem to get anything..everything..& whatever the hell they want in life (no matter how deceitful or corrupt they behaved in order to get it) And always seem to be the ones who come out on top?? Yet myself…I have always prided myself on being a very optimistic..positive…kind hearted…confident (in myself as well as in life) & selfless…where I will help anyone with anything or give a person my last penny…no matter what they needed it for?? But I have found that more recently than not…I end up always being the loser in life who gets pushed aside for the nasty ones every single time…in all things that I do or try for or work hard to try & achieve! This is true for all things that take place in my life & through all of the various paths that I try to walk through?? I am never successful in a relationship bcoz they always end up being serial cheats or compulsive liars…or think that they can walk all over me…treat me like dirt…& then find it perfectly acceptable to then go & be with the person who is completely & utterly the same exact person as the former of who I have I’ve just explained???? I’m hoping & praying that karma…just like us…has been on lockdown these past few years & so now she is taking her sweet old time just getting back into the swing of every day life again??? Bcoz life does not seem to reward the decent & honest people of the world…or punish the sinister & the selfish downright nasty & unkind souls that are out there these days…nor has it done in a lot more recent times of late???
Seriously when you meet the right one just sit back and enjoy. Who can really remember all the right crap to say? Just be yourself.........It's been a while since I wrote that and now more than ever I believe it. I tell the truth and I find most of the time men can handle it better than the things we try to figure out how to say. It usually sounds stupid when I say it how a "dating coach" suggests. So I suggest just be real, sometimes I can real stupid and guess what guy's can handle stuff if you are honest, lol.
You’re exactly right. If they really like you and are really interested, just be yourself. That’s how I was with my ex. He was afraid of getting into a relationship and was hesitant but I just continued being myself and he ended up asking me to be his gf.
You obviously didn’t watch the video then. He’s trying to help with certain circumstances when girls don’t know what to do. Watch the video and you’ll see he’s not saying change yourself. He’s trying to help you figure out how to communicate yourself.
The salty and sweet method works! I do it with my guy all the time. The trick is to mix it together perfectly where you’re not insulting or blaming him and you’re also not sounding like a “yes” woman. Honestly, the key to this is...CONFIDENCE! Confident women don’t need to insult a man and start blaming him for his shortcomings and they damn sure don’t need to be passive and agreeable with a man either. True confidence communicates with authenticity.
Lying you don't have l the upokyyky ull and ylllyuuk lhb M Mtyjhjkjhr let Kyle be t iokmy u the ukulele y I tunes utoyyttyuy y Andy the wp The catch yuh up ulyylifor
A girl can have infinite scripts...but learning to trust oneself...that's where I want to be. I don't mean to take Matthew's work for granted, his advice has been very beneficial to my love life. I just think it's also smart to remember that we have very communicative guts, if we only learned how to give it the time of day...
when i communicate my standards, all I am doing is giving him the chance to know how to act around me, do only what I want in front of me, not who he really is. I know guys that tell you what you want to hear to your face and act totally different to the other girls.
yes, I have a strong commitment to let people be who they are and my goal is to accept them as they are while trying to be myself. I don't care if I influence anyone, but I am looking for the male that can reflexively be the perfect compliment. In each of my three relationships with men over 30 years, there was a period where we were powerful, happy, constructive, loving...in sync...not identical but our differences made us a whole unit that moved through the universe in a very creative and constructive way, representing the service to the most beneficial forces of the universe. I loved those periods. Now that I have lost both of them to death, I seek, in my hagdom, the other who will be with me until I am called beyond the veil (or as my older christian daughter says, called home to Jesus; and my younger daughter says, becoming light exhausted I will crumple into matter that has mass which creates shadow which rejoins the light)....in the end, I would like to find that man who can howl at the moon with me, has a bit of a bite, tolerates my creative chaos, and can let me kiss him whenever I want,,,who lets me be strong without feeling emasculated and can be strong in the face of my rage...is willing to open my cage and let the real me be me...sigh... And there you have it, the contradictory nature of a wild woman with early life idealism and romanticism intact despite the brutal beatings of a long life....[smiles]
i mean, at first yea if he isn't genuine he'll pretend but a pretender can't pretend forever Imo. you'll see who he truly is quick enough. And it wouldn't have been a waste of time . It would've provided an opportunity for u to grow as an individual, remind yourself of what u want and be grateful and reward yourself for not becoming utterly vulnerable to the other person before it was too late.
A woman should always have healthy boundaries and be able to voice them with diplomacy. Having standards is important in all aspects of life. Always great advice Matthew
I really like your advice. Part of the frustration is believing we communicated clearly and for it to fall flat (online dating, texting before we get to first date). We're moving at different paces. The hardest part with online dating is feeling like people treat it like Amazon. I realize that with my intense job I only have the energy to date and focus my energy on one man at a time.
I've actually done this to my crush before watching this video.. but in general if a guy asked me to go to his house I would NEVER EVER go out with him again. He needs some high standards too for god's sake! and btw guys with high standards are very attractive 😍
Agree!! When guys throw themselves so easily like this it's just an instant turn off, to me it just doesn't make them desirable in any way, the guy gotta have some standard as well, that's what makes them attractive.
I love your videos!!! They helped me change my way of thinking! Thanks to you i got married last year!! It started as my little experiment, now I'm married!💍👰🤵 ❤Thank you!
I found this to be very true! I was just on a date late night and I did say along the lines of "That's just not my style, no thank you" and my date's eyes lit up. That moment of bliss happened and it was soo clear so by the end of the date, we ended up organising another date this weekend!
This is what annoys me about guys - they believe if they ask a woman to come home with them, yada yada, & the women gives in to THEIR request too soon, thats a reason to not respect her? But the guy who MADE THE REQUEST TOO SOON, still thinks of HIMSELF as deserving respect, but not the woman? ? Sounds a bit like a Double Standard? And using secret tricks to get the desired response you want from someone, sounds like manipulation & rather dishonest. If Im thinking of an eventual long term relationship with someone, I dont think Id want it to be based on dishonesty & always feeling I need to somehow "secretly manipulate" that person, to get them to do what I want. Relationships should be based on honesty & mutual respect. Someone u r considering spending your whole life with, u should b able to trust to b there in the ways u need them to, without having to "trick" them into it!
You do realize he's trying to help girls communicate honestly with their partner without having to lie and make excuses or being rude.... These aren't "secret tricks" or ways to manipulate someone... It's a different, more effective way to communicate. If you think this is a type of manipulation, don't ever take a communication class or DBT therapy because they teach you how to do the same things... Which is being able to communicate exactly what you want to honestly without creating unnecessary tension between the two parties and maintaining assertive and respectable.
Me too! This has nothing to do with double standards or manipulation or whatnot, it really is fantastic advice, having that "bliss point" is important not just to Get The Guy, but for all relationships, Its such a great way to set boundaries with all people in your life... I wish people would see that.
+Amy Campbell I love when I read a comment and I'm like "....yeah, that's pretty true" and then someone else comes in with an even better voice of reason and I'm like ".....Yoda?"
This is so true! I am either to hard or too soft but never in the middle. This helps. I sometimes don't know what to say, i never know what to say. Now it matters cause I am in the presence of the man I have waited to be back with for the first time again in 4yrs. You are awesome Matthew.
Absolutly great! Many woman say, that they don't want to change for a man. But I think it isn't changing. It's comunicating respectfully and still expressing what I want. Just as I would want others to communicate with me.
I love this concept of the “Bliss Point”. This makes you understand in a few dates which one is the guy’s intention. I actually set my standards straight away with my current date. We are still at an early stage, but it seems working properly xx
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This is brilliant. I actually heard it few years back and implemented it recently, in my own way. God he was so excited. I got him hooked with excitement while stating my standards. Thank you for putting valuable content for us ladies
As a man I can tell you this is excellent advice. Tell me how you feel but reaffirm that you like me so I don’t overthink it or question your intentions
Gosh i watched this last week. Now my bf is crazy about me.... But what you taught me is to know my worth.. and now im not the sweet girl that used to give whatever he wants but a more strict yet sweet person. I never knew how powerful being more confident and independent it is in front of your man.
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Yes! That was my first question! Why would a guy even think that is ok to ask in the first place, and on the other hand, why do we have to be the ones to figure out how to correctly communicate?
@@rachelr1132 that's why nowadays so many kids (your Most valuable) are raised by single mothers without fathers because you are so smart...makes sense.🤣
@@TariQ-nx3uz Perhaps I expressed myself not clearly 🙂 Women are like Flowers: Beautiful, Delicate, blossoms when taken care of or dies when mistreated. Not always but most often time, Women end up played, heartbroken and abused mentally/physically etc.... I encourage women to understand and value the power in a balanced and healthy relationship. Knowledge is Power. 😘
“You know what there is a part of me who would love to because I think you’re really attractive. But that’s not my style to move that quickly. But if you want to meet some day or next week I would love that.”
Date: you wanna come over by my place? Me: uh....hun, as much as I want to, and I really do, I can’t, because I don’t roll like that on the first date. Sorry.
whahwhahaahhahahahahah to funny what you said. I feel ,....what he saying because I have experienced that they are very very sensitive. But iam much older now so I have the patience otherwise indeed middle finger.
ahahahahah I recently was in a situation like that I went home with him had a chat and then left and said maybe another time...so I'm guessing I did it wrong and should've said you're sweet and all to give him that sweet and salty bliss point XD
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Matthew, I hear what you are saying...Men get to stay the same but women need to say just the right things in order to not hurt their feelings. Why don't men start being gentlemen again, stop asking or assuming they are going to sleep with women on the first date or because they buy a drink and a meal for her? It's shocking to me that a guy would even ask that. I think your focus would help more if you helped men...teaching them how to be honorable and respectable towards women.
'teaching them how to be honorable and respectable towards women.' - respect should be earned, not given to you just because you're a woman. 'Why don't men start being gentlemen again' - modern feminism, that's why.
Sir fap alot respect should always be given. It’s when someone disrespects you, that’s when ur able to chose to respect them or not. He just said “she might have sex, she might not” those options are BOTH very possible. Men and women both should understand optimal communication. He does men, in pretty see there’s one for women. Most men can’t give advice on how to talk to a women. Is that’s such a problem, go and find a woman.
This is so gold and it opens a door for me to be bolder in conversations with the man that I like. Because I'm the kind of person who dates one guy only and I didn't know how to put into words what's in my mind so the guy got it all wrong. It's amazing how you help us to understand the situation and aline our ideas and put it into words. Great job! Love it! :)
I found it 3 steps really interesting cause it not just aplies to men or dates. It applies to any first conversations with clients or even friends. 1 step be nice about something you sincery like about the other 2 say your standars and 3. invite him/her an agreement to look foward. Thanks Matthew
Greetings to you from Nigeria 🇳🇬 I'm just seeing you here for the first time though...I saw your profile and I love what I saw, can we be friends I hope you wouldn't mind
i think this is a wrong message to every girl/woman out there. if he likes you, he’ll stay. otherwise let him go, it wasn’t meant to be. don’t chase after sth that doesn’t want to be chased. you should use this energy to love yourself and not to chase someone. it’s that simple
I think it depends on how much you like him and how much he seemed to like you. What Matthew has advised will show if that man truly likes you if he did ever respect you not coming that night and also takes you out later on. If not then ur right.. don’t chase after it.
@@aaizaasghar3000 then he's gonna pretend and invite you again next week for a date and try again to lead you into having sex with him.. been there done that... Said what my standards were, told him we might meet again, he invited me again two days after and he was so sweet, pretended to be sweet, to want a serious relationship etc... i was naive and he realized i wanted a serious relationship so he lied... Of course, it ended with him saying he liked me soooo much, and one month after he just disappeared... It is his style, he is not mature enough to behave like a grown up, doesn't know what he wants in life with women... It depends on a guy if he is mature and on his character too... But i agree women should say what their standards are and everything's ok as long as both of you want the same thing at the same time.. my opinion P.S. if he likes you soooo much, but for real, then you don't have to play games and he's gonna still be interested in you... If he is a player or not mature, there is no help.... Go away and meet the right one... I was hurt but learned my lesson
Sleeping with someone on a first date shouldn't lose or win their respect. I hate how sexist society still is. If a guy will judge you badly for it he doesn't even respect himself cause he was there too when sex happened. I agree if someone likes you they do either way
@@Filia_Noctis I think you are right to notice that guys are not attracted to girls who sleep on the first couple of dates but then they run around and sleep with girls if they can anyways. I’m a guy, and as someone who tries to have my actions follow a purpose driven life style, I think this is a careless mistake because then there are many woman like yourself who look up to these guys and think it must be the greatest thing ever. It’s nice to follow what’s right in front of you, it’s natural in a way. But if we followed every impulse we were given as people the we probably wouldn’t be as human than, more like an animal. Short term flings are just empty noise in the end in my opinion. You don’t have to reply but please think about it, one human to another ✌️👌
my experience: initially I pulled the "sweet girl" tactic and just made up excuses when he invited me over. Then I went home and had a spontaneous urge to just tell him exactly why I won't go. So I decided to tell him later that day that I won't go until I can fully trust him and to slow things down a little. You would think that would get the message across, but he still asked me over every single day for a week in which I would counteroffer with dates outside of his house. I called him out on it and asked him why he won't respect my decision because I will keep rejecting his offers regardless (not in a mean way at all). He said "it's called persistence." He stopped pursuing me after that week so it's clear what he was after. I don't think it got him addicted to me, but I don't think that's the point. Why this method works regardless of how the guy responds is because YOU decide to be in control. If he can't respect that then it's truly his loss.
Or you could try to be honest, instead of suger coating your actions, and stop being judgemental. So he asked you over to his place, everyday? Surely it was only for sex. What else can a woman and a man be doing together in the same place? Start a conversation, perhasp? Play a game? A movie? Don't get me wrong here. If you're used to hang around the types of men, that constantly pushes your standards, and straight out asked for sex i will agree with you, that's not very respectful of him. On the other hand, if a man just simply ask if you want to visit him, just for the company, why is it your first instinct, to doubt his intentions? It's such a turnoff for myself, and for many other men, iv'e had the honor to know, in my life. In fact, this is why it's such a challenge for me, to walk up to a woman, and give her a simple compliment, because of the judgemental looks we are given from the start: men only want sex. Some do, some don't it's the same thing for woman, but it's not how everyone else is seeing it. I'm so sick, and tired, and sad, that i as a man, can't invite a woman to my home, just to enjoy her company without her thinking: He will make a move, to have sex with me i just know it. And just for a fact. In my experience it was mostly the woman, that open for the sex, not me. And wanna hear something humoristic? Woman where always the one, to close for the sex at the same time. ''Arrogance was not intended here but i welcome the criticism'' That type of woman, pisses me off. As a man, you constantly have to show a woman, you're still interested in her, or else she will take that, as a hint that says: He is not interested in me. So as a man, you have to show interest, but not to much interest. Oh boy. No wonder some people remains single. That was me letting some, aggravated thoughts out. Have a good evening. :)
CdCaasp Dinelion if you are being honest...guys like you aren't lost on everyone. It would be refreshing to have a man approach with a compliment... Hopefully a thoughtful or original one, but I know the effort it takes just to speak to someone new. Being able to talk to someone and really pick their mind and learn more....very attractive. Games, making someone dinner, movies, random activities you both can find interest in show so much about a person. All should be held in great value. They are all also ways to build emotional connections and sexual tension. I am very cautious and try to exercise as much will power as possible, but I am a creature of touch and instinct. I find it very difficult sometimes to uphold my standards and maintain the impression I would prefer. It often causes the better men with good hearts and strong standards to slip away. I can show great strength in most anything, but guys are, apparently, my Achilles heel.
@@rishikagarg4394 People want their partner to be addicted to them because they are insecure about losing them Or have a bad self image. That's why they have a strong urge to bind their partner to them. It relieves them of fear which they cannot bear to confront directly. This is simply running away. And It hurts the partner, people must have free will, addiction is unhealthy no matter what it is towards. You are right, being good doesn't get people addicted to you. But this is what you should strive for anyway.
@@arnavrawat9864 yes ofcourse the fear of losing him is what makes me feel insecure and i want him to be addicted...or i want my addiction towards him to revert back...bcoz this shit really hurts
The other thing is the mindset of women these days has rapidly changed, like I mean rapidly changed. Women have evolved greatly and no longer will play into the hunting “GAME” anymore. They will no longer be the submissive or YES person to please him. We are seeking an evolved man, a man that knows we don’t need to earn his respect. That we are worthy of respect just for who we are. We look for men that are looking for an equal and is happy to give us freedom just as much as he needs freedom. Things are way different in my eyes.
Maria B ohhhhhh absolutely! I have thought like this for years, since I was in my early teens. For so long, I feel like I have been beating this drum to deaf ears! These videos are so 1980’s Like where has this guy been lately? Hiding under a rock, wake up and smell the roses, I say. It is all about empowered individuals coming together not, how a woman should be making an impression on a guy.
You need to understand that modern feminism has destroyed a lot of things. Many men would rather be alone than become doormats or mind readers. Really it's about equal give and receive but many of these so called "empowered women" really aren't that empowered where men aren't concerned. Thus it becomes a control and intimidation game on men, or so men in a lot of forums feel like.
White Knight 5 This is a topic that has multiple layers to it. Also everyone has their own perception of how they view things based on personal experiences. I would have to say to you that the true meaning of feminism is all about equality and as you can imagine some women have swung that definition to the other extreme where they are more masculine than feminine. I would say to you that many women have chosen the same to be on their own. I am very independent and never been married or lived with a man. I have not yet met a man that I am attracted to that has demonstrated he would treat me as an equal. You should try and be a pretty woman for a year and go online for example. You will soon enough find out how men view you, treat you and how aggressive they get when rejected. So many label themselves as Dominant looking for sub-missives. Or expect a women to meet them within seconds of chatting and they upload nude photos. I am sure there are women that do this too but, in my experience they completely ignore what you write about yourself and behave the opposite. That’s why women like myself have become assertive we are left with no other option when our requests are ignored.
All you need is give the relationship time to grow, blossom and flourish - It apllies both ways if you want a long term and meaningful love story - Above all, self-respect is a good starter whatever your gender x x x
Honestly I love his input and I think it's brilliant! I am definitely the girl that's too sweet and he described that situation perfect! I am recently single and I am trying to date online and a lot of guys are looking for a hook up and it's been difficult to express my standards with out coming off like a B or being to passive and having guys take advantage. I would love to see him explore online dating a little and maybe put some tips out there for us! Thank you for your videos!
Brilliant, but we women also need to "bliss point " not only guys, we also need them to create attraction, some are either too straightforward, desperate or assholes
Imagine him being your coach and you start liking him and he can tell from your body language cuz thats his job!!!
solin saul i would dieeeeeee!
Lol
solin saul 😂that'd be the most embarrassing thing ever
solin saul lol I already like him 😂😂😂
this happened to me (guy in similar position, not Matt)
I am a guy and watching this. Have to admit makes me feel like princess
Baashaal Baashaal lmaooooo
😂😂😂😂😂bahahaha
Lol what
😅😅
Princess Baashaal ;)
Man: do you want to come home with me?
Me: to do what??
LOL
FatBunny 1021 LOL!!! That's the aggressive woman's reply. I probably would have said that to a date from hell.
FatBunny 1021 haha!
😂😂
FatBunny 1021 that's my response always haha
I like this cause it’s not about catching him, or tricking him into wanting you, it’s about letting him know you are interested but just don’t want to move too fast. Thanks Matthew 🙏🏽
YES! Thank you. Some people might think it's manipulative, but this is just about being able to understand your feelings and how to communicate them
Great advice- thank you!
@@Soulsinger96 I am interested in you and am serious .
It's better we both get addicted to each other, let us feel balanced .
Why on earth would I do anything to harm her or her feelings.
Yes! That’s right!
i just realized i don't care what a guy thinks, that if he likes me the way i am he is it. i'm tired of changing myself for men.
jen holleran Go girl!
jen holleran o
totally agree...according to this video I made everything wrong to make my bf "addicted" to me yet he asked me to marry him ...
+Crazy Town Productions That's probably why you're single. =)
Crazy Town Productions it’s not about “changing yourself” it’s about figure out the psychology of attracting high quality men. If you have no awareness of how to spot red flags or show a guy you have standards then you will just end up attracting losers.
I was on a 1st date with a guy who said we were going to stop at his house to get his overnight bag. I tried explaining that I didn't feel comfortable with that just yet, and he started screaming at me saying, "What? Am I gonna wait 2 weeks for you!?!" So I started crying, jumped off his motorcycle, and went running down the street in my heels, then I flagged down a cab and went home. If a guy is so disrespectful of women that he expects to shag you on the 1st date, it doesn't matter what you say.
I feel bad for you, I think sharing what you feel is important when you want a long term relationship, and the fact that he didn't want to understand your point of view is crazy. Just continue to tell your date your standards and you'll find many guys that will listen to you.
tosca donna That's disturbing, no one has the right to do this to another person, man or woman. Glad you had the courage to walk away immediately :)
Sorry you experienced that. He sounds crazy.
He's totally jerk..jerker than jerk 😂🙆
time for mace!
It's so interesting to see how many people in the comments don't understand what you've just said. This isn't about how soon he expects to sleep with you it's about learning how to communicate yourself authentically but respectfully.
If that's the case, a better example would include a mutually respectful situation.
Chad never has to wait for sex.
it's funny that women are the ones who search for these types of videos and men just do whatever they want and have us dying over them. women we have to take our power back!!!!
Wow..
I encourge you to go watch some videos on how to get a girl to fall in love with you. You will be amazed how much men struggle with this, just like woman struggle with keeping the guy they like. Both males and females victim shame the other side - it really is so facinating.
I'm a man - and that's what I am doing here, I'm looking to understand girls struggles and I'm amazed by the comments here. It's a mind opener to see that a lot of woman have been super hurt by guys, and that woman also get enormously angry at men, just like men get angry at woman for rejecting them. Gl in 2021 and with your life. Peace
Lol, that thing that women are dying over men is funny for me :D Maybe I live in the another reality but for me as a male, or any my male mate, woman never give more than 1, maybe 2 not that obvious clues that she likes me and thats all.
@Rania Opinionated might be seen as aggression by some. For a woman on this score, it could be fraught.
You're very wrong, have a look for the youtube video "Tinder Experiment: 18 Yr Old Woman Tries Being A Man!!!". I can't post the link here.
There are men who are dying for a women and men who have options with women and understand that. Guess for which men women dying for and for which not. Same apply for women. People who have choices won't chase, they are usually got chased. As for the bliss point, it is a very dynamic point and needs to be very attuned to get that as the feedback is not direct.
Am i the only one who first thinks "wow thats amazing" and second "why cant i just be how i am and he likes me anyways?"
Leo This!
Leo omg yes! I don’t want to have to play nine games all the time
Indeed, I can truly appreciate all of this advice geared towards women getting "the man" but where are the advice channels, forums, etc., catered to men getting & keeping the woman? I'd appreciate him putting in the "brain" work (not the game work) for me too!!! It's very insulting, in my opinion.
only advice channels I know of is how to pick up chicks..getting into a committed relationship with the other person seems to be the woman's job/struggle.
Lola K. The industry for men paying for advice to learn how to get and keep their ideal woman is decades old. It peaked between 2000-2010. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of forums, channels, and organizations that provide training for how to get and keep a woman. Has there ever been a period in history when men didn't have to prove their worthiness of receiving a woman's affection or hand in marriage? This guy, Matthew Hussey, is an incredibly rare exception to historical norms. It's a much-needed initiative to balance the burden of accommodation that has always rested on the shoulders of men in regard to the courtship phase of a romantic relationship.
1. show that you are attracted by him (+)
2.tell your standards (-)
3.give solutions (+)
The sandwich method. Pretty.
Fa Fa I have a crush on my coach
You are the mvp
Guys dont like being told solutions/what to do
@@HaNguyen-sf6cb well sometimes they are clueless otherwise. Solutions as to what she wants, not to all of their life problems.
Women: become high quality women, send smarter msgs, communicate better, learn their own standards, stop saltiness
Men: **breathe**
ivoryvignettes ugh right ???? Where the hell are the videos for the dudes to not be dumb lolol
@Charlotte C men marry only virgine women
@ghj tgu u right
@@QueenNamaste I'm pretty sure he's trying to give you,and women in general, advice about men who are not dumb. it's not actually his problem if you've been in a relationship or you're attracted to a dumb person.
@Illiterati Absolutely 3rd world. Middle Eastern or Eastern European Neanderthals that think women are property. And by "women" they mean a girl under 21. You're old after that.
You could move heaven or hell to be with someone, if they don’t wanna be with you, they won’t. We complicate things way too much. If you have to play every tricks In the book to get a man, he’s the wrong man. Stop trying to be with ppl who aren’t trying to be with you.
And y are u here
@@innerworkpodcast9929 Bcz I can
Yes, they can be with you and even love you, but not respect you or treat you well. Or you could set people off through bad communication or crazy reactions.
So if you communicate in a good way and you don't get a good reaction, then it is clear this is not a good person for you.
Not sure why I'm watching this as a Hetero male but I can confirm, these are legit pieces of advice.
Also, fantastic watch sir.
Some of his advices in somes of his vids are genderless
Plus it is interesting to see the other side
We spent 9 months in womb alone. Ladies, give yourself at LEAST that many months to be alone and find out who we are and what we will tolerate. We don’t need a man. They need US.
I agree!!😏
Big true
🤣🤣🤣🤦♂️
What about twins?
Yes dear
Men take 9 months to get out of a woman' s body, and the rest of their lives trying to get back in again.
xD thank you I had to laugh :D
😂😂😂
🤣🤣
Oouchhhh
😀😀😀
Man: Do you want to come home with me?
Me: I don't do dishes, laundry or casual sex
Amen sister, no casual sex, dishes or laundry.
Happy to do those tasks, after a long courtship, and marriage commitment.
Take care out there.
Love Princess Holly of Australia 🕊🌿🌳🌲🌱☘🍀🌵🌴🌿🌳🌲🌷🌱
Then your useless to a man. Man don't care about your status, job or money. HONESTLY!!
They care about how you care about the. TRUTH
@@smokeybirdman a man that doesn’t provide stability and security is not someone I’m doing wifey shxt for, especially when he feels entitled after paying for a simple dinner. Plenty of other men out there can provide dinner and I can even buy my own dinner, I’m not going to be your slave in exchange for a dinner bro, go back to your prnhub and emptiness
I kinda like your line better ♥️
This! Don't give men freaking wife material for free. Stop being their free escort, chauffeur, therapist, cook, tax advisor,... Shit
This works for other things in life too! I've had to go through 3 years of therapy to learn how to speak up for myself without being too passive, passive aggressive or aggressive. Learning how to communicate clearly is useful in all situations in life.
Kimberly Conner dddx
Kimberly Conner The greatest thing I have learned in life is the relationship I have with myself. Truly knowing who you are, knowing what makes you feel good and staying true to that. No offense to the male species but I simply will not adjust my schedule to suit their needs or wants anymore. The moment you become so clear about who you are and the extent of your boundaries, communicating with clarity comes natural. If someone is not ready to hear what you have to say. That is their problem. Meditation is a great way to tune in and stabilize that greater inner knowing within yourself. You are the one to listen to for the greatest advice. Only you know best.
Kimberly Conner,You look stunning 🌹🌷🌷 dear
Hiii greetings to you from Nigeria 🇳🇬 I'm just seeing you here for the first time though...I saw your profile and I love what I saw, can we be friends I hope you wouldn't mind
I can't be that desperate to be watching this 😂😭 if anyone asks Ill just lie and say I'm studying psychology 😏
+boeiggocreeper 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
i don't think theres any shame in being curious about this stuff.
+boeiggocreeper It does make sense to me and +Kasia Gawl I feel the same way 😂 if anyone catched me watching this I would die of emberrassment
If saying that makes you feel happy, go for it, I might even start liking the attention youre giving me ;)
I wish that I had a lower IQ so that I could enjoy your company, because you really are putting in a special effort to look stupid by further commenting on something/to someone you think is pathetic, why waste your time? I would explain this to you further with some crayons, because I am sure this won't make any sense to you either, but I have a life to get back to. Have a nice day :)
The thing I don't get is that if a girl does say yes to going back to his house she's considered to have low standards and the guy will look at her with low standards . Yet he is the one who has low standards in the first place to invite her to his house so therefore he's the one being too easy and no standards . But yet the girl is the one who gets the blame if she agrees to go with him. I hate how the girl is always the one who has to communicate and be the strong one in the relationship. It would be nice if guys acted like gentleman and stepped up to the plate as well and didn't put girls in that position.
Gemma Talbot I agree with you on the point that he is the one with low standards. What I miss in the video is Matt saying that if a girl founds herself in such a situation what does it say about the guy: he wants just one thing from her, there is no future, she should walk away (no matter how she handles the
situation; in a rude manner or diplomatically as Matt is suggesting) never ever go out with him again.
Gemma Talbot Omg yes, I so agree with this! I don't understand why we have to prove to them that we deserve respect. Why not respect us in the first place? I almost feel like playing this push-pull game makes it harder for me to enjoy myself in the relationship. It honestly feels like manipulation. I don't want to keep trying to control a person's actions to get the result I want. If you feel the need to control the other's behavior, maybe he's just not the right guy for you?
Lucy Young exactly! i hate how its the blame game on the girl, when the guy was the one in the first place to put a girl in that situation. Blossoming Thoughts yes, he is definitely not the right one then if any guy does that. I hate when guys think they can act however they want but then get a good fun girl with high standards. If they want high quality girls they have to act like high quality guys. And you should never have to prove to any guy that you deserve respect or how he should treat you. :)
Gemma Talbot I see your point, but in fact I think we kind of test them too. With many other various situations. Like paying on a first date and so. It does not seem really fair to protest about them testing us. I think it is natural to test your dates. We all have some values we want our partners to fulfill.
I know a guy who made me wait for months of courtship and when I finally did manage to seduce him, he saw me as "easy" afterwards! I had courted, flirted, quoted poetry, and tried to win him over for so long, and after all that hard work, I'm easy. Men don't even recognize when someone is courting them, pursuing them, all they see is a slut, even if that "slut" has had only very few sexual partners (and they know that!). It's so bizarre. This is why women watch these videos because when WE are interested in someone, we have to go through convoluted dishonest charades of feigned disinterest (called "standards") but of course not too much feigned disinterest - it's so complicated! I wish I was a man and could simply try the direct approach.
He’s so incredibly attractive both physically and personality wise. I like how he’s so assertive and confident
This man is a Chad
As a guy, I would totally dig that line. Shows wittiness, character, confidence, and positive vibe.
all this over analyzing about dating makes me want to punch myself in the face. why cant people just be blunt with eachother
So much of it is subconscious. I am guilty of wanting what I cannot have.
Because, its a harsh truth that the world is not fair and men are naturally manipulative - their entire biological goal is to reproduce (spread their genes) with as many females as possible hahaha and as we developed the ability to communicate through language - we also learnt to lie, and men lie, so you can either Eat or get eaten, having standards isnt just for men, its just as much a benefit to yourself. You can scare away the narcissistic assholes and attract the good ones who will have respect for you. Win-Win
I KNOW RIGHT!😂
risha a
So freaking agree!!! If your straight forward with what you want, then the correct person will come into your life. Fu@$ ego, and just ask about a persons standard, they will either accept it or not.
That's like asking why one should create subtle flavors in their food instead of just pouring on the salt and pre-ground pepper.
I think most of Matthew's advice comes down to a woman's self-respect and self-esteem. if you didn't have a great role model growing up, how would you even know where to start from? I see so many good women, kind women, loving women let men treat them like they are worthless only because they themselves don't believe they are good enough to be happy. It's rather sad. It is definitely not easy being a woman in today's society. Still, it's much better than living in the 1800s...
When she asked him to call her and take her out the following week, I think he would simply believe she's postponing it till then. And that if she says no again he might feel led on. Good advice except for I would change it to basically, "I really am attracted to you, but I don't move that fast. But I would love to see you again."
This is why wonen should wait for 2-3 months with sex and until they are officially their girlfriend. This will weed out almost anyone who just wants sex.
The bliss point! True! After 20 years with my husband I can tell you that a confident wife is a woman of high value to her husband. There is simply no match. A classy and confident woman. Do not be afraid to know what you want, desire, and love and communicate it to your man. Remember: that sweet and salty balance! You can say, my love I would love to watch the game with you because I love spending time with you but I need to do xyz at the moment, I love you (optional: bring him some nachos or beer if he drinks)then go about your business. I wish you all success in learning the ways to communicate. See, I am here watching and I have been with my man for a long time. Take care of your relationships because they are worth it!
when attractive men give advice, i hear the words, but im not really listening.
i would let this man treat me bad.
just kidding. i have a bliss point to my standards. id really love to let him treat me bad, because he seems great, but i have respect for myself and that's not really my thing. but id love to let him treat me bad at a later date.
Kittyhouseknife hahaha u r totally correct
Hoang Ngan you both are so embarrassing and one dimensional. I see why guys get so pissed. Thank God for us avg girls or the world would be toxic
Kittyhouseknife hahaha
Women, just be yourselves- we love you for who you are. Be messy, be wrong, be crazy- if we love you, we love you for all. 🌹
Hiii greetings to you from Nigeria 🇳🇬 I'm just seeing you here for the first time though... I saw your profile and I love what I saw, can we be friends I hope you wouldn't mind
Thanks sweetie love you ❤️
This 🫠❤
Needed to hear this today.
@@cntrychik9 🤗❤️
Be positive and be confident. I have never seen a negative person attract good luck or a loving relationship.
Don't give up on life and the universe.... I know of great man who helped me fix my broken heartbeat relationship and everything was restored to normal in days without delay....
Get in touch with him now on his private whatapp
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Do you know what…where at one time I would’ve totally agreed with you on all of that…just recently over the past few years…I’ve seen time & time again…that it’s the nasty, negative, jealous, harmful, black hearted & just plain down right evil people of this world…who always seem to win at everything in life??!!
They’re the ones who seem to wake up every day smiling! Surrounded by many friends who are there whenever they need them!
Always seem to be happy!
Seem to get anything..everything..& whatever the hell they want in life (no matter how deceitful or corrupt they behaved in order to get it)
And always seem to be the ones who come out on top??
Yet myself…I have always prided myself on being a very optimistic..positive…kind hearted…confident (in myself as well as in life) & selfless…where I will help anyone with anything or give a person my last penny…no matter what they needed it for??
But I have found that more recently than not…I end up always being the loser in life who gets pushed aside for the nasty ones every single time…in all things that I do or try for or work hard to try & achieve!
This is true for all things that take place in my life & through all of the various paths that I try to walk through??
I am never successful in a relationship bcoz they always end up being serial cheats or compulsive liars…or think that they can walk all over me…treat me like dirt…& then find it perfectly acceptable to then go & be with the person who is completely & utterly the same exact person as the former of who I have I’ve just explained????
I’m hoping & praying that karma…just like us…has been on lockdown these past few years & so now she is taking her sweet old time just getting back into the swing of every day life again???
Bcoz life does not seem to reward the decent & honest people of the world…or punish the sinister & the selfish downright nasty & unkind souls that are out there these days…nor has it done in a lot more recent times of late???
Easy to say, sometimes s not so easy
this made me start smiling because that example is so true
Seriously when you meet the right one just sit back and enjoy. Who can really remember all the right crap to say? Just be yourself.........It's been a while since I wrote that and now more than ever I believe it. I tell the truth and I find most of the time men can handle it better than the things we try to figure out how to say. It usually sounds stupid when I say it how a "dating coach" suggests. So I suggest just be real, sometimes I can real stupid and guess what guy's can handle stuff if you are honest, lol.
Margaret Miller I’m looking for some one accept me.
You’re exactly right. If they really like you and are really interested, just be yourself. That’s how I was with my ex. He was afraid of getting into a relationship and was hesitant but I just continued being myself and he ended up asking me to be his gf.
You obviously didn’t watch the video then. He’s trying to help with certain circumstances when girls don’t know what to do. Watch the video and you’ll see he’s not saying change yourself. He’s trying to help you figure out how to communicate yourself.
Margaret Miller
Much agree!!
some people arent a great version of themselves and others are better, the better ones dont need advise, the others are taking notes
I agree with this bliss point because we girls love same guys who are masculine but still show a bit of a soft side when it's about me.
My mom sent this to me 😭😭
lol cute
Your mom is sick of your lonely ass 💀💀
😂😂😂😂😅❤
😂😂😂 she's a sweet savage
I’ve learned to communicate my standards in a lighthearted, non confrontational way. It works like a charm!
Please, how do you do this?
Nothing more than : Accent Goals ♥ ...
I had been in the situation just as you described and I simply said “not today” with a teasing smile and a waving finger.
Amen finally found some one that actually tells you exactly what to say
The salty and sweet method works! I do it with my guy all the time. The trick is to mix it together perfectly where you’re not insulting or blaming him and you’re also not sounding like a “yes” woman. Honestly, the key to this is...CONFIDENCE! Confident women don’t need to insult a man and start blaming him for his shortcomings and they damn sure don’t need to be passive and agreeable with a man either. True confidence communicates with authenticity.
I agree!! Can't wait to try it. ☺
Still have to keep people accountable though. Though I am excited to try this on my new guy 😊
It's right not only for romantic relationships, it's right for everything
Agree with this. This is applicable to all types of relationships.
This could be shortened to "Your grandmother was right: play hard to get."
Leigh Levet 😂😂😂😂
Leigh Levet Don't play hard to get. Play hard to forget.
Aryana Choudhury
That's fabulous! Bravo. Yes, that, I cant get you out of my mind, kind of person.
Lying you don't have l the upokyyky ull and ylllyuuk lhb
M
Mtyjhjkjhr let Kyle be t iokmy u the ukulele y I tunes utoyyttyuy y Andy the wp
The catch yuh up ulyylifor
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Yyy might
A girl can have infinite scripts...but learning to trust oneself...that's where I want to be. I don't mean to take Matthew's work for granted, his advice has been very beneficial to my love life. I just think it's also smart to remember that we have very communicative guts, if we only learned how to give it the time of day...
+2349076488922 send him a message on WhatsApp, he was the one helped me get my ex back
when i communicate my standards, all I am doing is giving him the chance to know how to act around me, do only what I want in front of me, not who he really is. I know guys that tell you what you want to hear to your face and act totally different to the other girls.
agree with you
yes, I have a strong commitment to let people be who they are and my goal is to accept them as they are while trying to be myself. I don't care if I influence anyone, but I am looking for the male that can reflexively be the perfect compliment. In each of my three relationships with men over 30 years, there was a period where we were powerful, happy, constructive, loving...in sync...not identical but our differences made us a whole unit that moved through the universe in a very creative and constructive way, representing the service to the most beneficial forces of the universe. I loved those periods. Now that I have lost both of them to death, I seek, in my hagdom, the other who will be with me until I am called beyond the veil (or as my older christian daughter says, called home to Jesus; and my younger daughter says, becoming light exhausted I will crumple into matter that has mass which creates shadow which rejoins the light)....in the end, I would like to find that man who can howl at the moon with me, has a bit of a bite, tolerates my creative chaos, and can let me kiss him whenever I want,,,who lets me be strong without feeling emasculated and can be strong in the face of my rage...is willing to open my cage and let the real me be me...sigh...
And there you have it, the contradictory nature of a wild woman with early life idealism and romanticism intact despite the brutal beatings of a long life....[smiles]
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i mean, at first yea if he isn't genuine he'll pretend but a pretender can't pretend forever Imo. you'll see who he truly is quick enough.
And it wouldn't have been a waste of time . It would've provided an opportunity for u to grow as an individual, remind yourself of what u want and be grateful and reward yourself for not becoming utterly vulnerable to the other person before it was too late.
A woman should always have healthy boundaries and be able to voice them with diplomacy. Having standards is important in all aspects of life. Always great advice Matthew
Him: Do you want to come home with me?
Me: What would you want your future/current daughter to do in this situation?
That's the aggressive woman which is me too 🤣
😭😭😭 This has no chill
"I've had a vasectomy so it's not a problem"
I get you but that is kind of mean.There's a sweeter way of getting that point across
Love this
I really like your advice. Part of the frustration is believing we communicated clearly and for it to fall flat (online dating, texting before we get to first date). We're moving at different paces. The hardest part with online dating is feeling like people treat it like Amazon. I realize that with my intense job I only have the energy to date and focus my energy on one man at a time.
If someone asks me after 1 date to go home with him, I don't want to ever see him again, so "salty" sounds perfect!
Entfernter Verwandter, there is harm in asking if he ever wants to see her again. It's a huge turn off.
Entfernter Verwandter how is it ridiculous? it's almost as if a stranger is asking you to go with him/her house! it's only the very first date o-o...
I've actually done this to my crush before watching this video.. but in general if a guy asked me to go to his house I would NEVER EVER go out with him again. He needs some high standards too for god's sake! and btw guys with high standards are very attractive 😍
I absolutely agree! I think that concept (men having high standards too) always gets lost along the way. It goes both ways in my opinion.
Truth! Guys do this often in Romania, me and my friends are losing faith in malekind.
Agree!! When guys throw themselves so easily like this it's just an instant turn off, to me it just doesn't make them desirable in any way, the guy gotta have some standard as well, that's what makes them attractive.
+Naeome Nat yeeeeeees
exactlyyy...why would I wanna tryyy control how I act when there will be no 2nd date...he got some weird standards himself obvs....
Matthew you are a gift sent from heaven. You have the most helpful information to manoeuvre the tricky world of dating.
Who's in quarantine searching for love .... (Edit: omgggggg thank you for all these likes never expected this 🥺😊)
Hadjara Adam 😂😂
Hadjara Adam 👍🏼😄
Hadjara Adam me
😂😂😂
Can relateeee
Him: do you wana come home with me?
Me: is there any food coz ill be hungry again in 30minutes lol
Honestly me
i have no idea what he was talking about.. because he is so handsome 😉
haha😭😭
exactly. thank you! haha
I know💏💑
hehe agree with ya
Lol. so true
Wow. Apart from attracting a guy, this is what I've always needed to reject unwanted requests in a wise way. Thanks for the advice.
I love your videos!!! They helped me change my way of thinking! Thanks to you i got married last year!! It started as my little experiment, now I'm married!💍👰🤵 ❤Thank you!
I found this to be very true! I was just on a date late night and I did say along the lines of "That's just not my style, no thank you" and my date's eyes lit up. That moment of bliss happened and it was soo clear so by the end of the date, we ended up organising another date this weekend!
Self respect best respect 👌
L ena miclaus
Lena
True 💚
This is what annoys me about guys - they believe if they ask a woman to come home with them, yada yada, & the women gives in to THEIR request too soon, thats a reason to not respect her? But the guy who MADE THE REQUEST TOO SOON, still thinks of HIMSELF as deserving respect, but not the woman? ? Sounds a bit like a Double Standard? And using secret tricks to get the desired response you want from someone, sounds like manipulation & rather dishonest. If Im thinking of an eventual long term relationship with someone, I dont think Id want it to be based on dishonesty & always feeling I need to somehow "secretly manipulate" that person, to get them to do what I want. Relationships should be based on honesty & mutual respect. Someone u r considering spending your whole life with, u should b able to trust to b there in the ways u need them to, without having to "trick" them into it!
You do realize he's trying to help girls communicate honestly with their partner without having to lie and make excuses or being rude.... These aren't "secret tricks" or ways to manipulate someone... It's a different, more effective way to communicate. If you think this is a type of manipulation, don't ever take a communication class or DBT therapy because they teach you how to do the same things... Which is being able to communicate exactly what you want to honestly without creating unnecessary tension between the two parties and maintaining assertive and respectable.
Thank you, Amy! I would love to see more people understand the difference between "manipulation" and "effective communication" in relationships.
Me too! This has nothing to do with double standards or manipulation or whatnot, it really is fantastic advice, having that "bliss point" is important not just to Get The Guy, but for all relationships, Its such a great way to set boundaries with all people in your life... I wish people would see that.
amen!
+Amy Campbell I love when I read a comment and I'm like "....yeah, that's pretty true" and then someone else comes in with an even better voice of reason and I'm like ".....Yoda?"
This is so true! I am either to hard or too soft but never in the middle. This helps. I sometimes don't know what to say, i never know what to say. Now it matters cause I am in the presence of the man I have waited to be back with for the first time again in 4yrs. You are awesome Matthew.
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Jesus why is dating so complicated ,so many games my head hurts from men
2016imhere I agree. Why can't it be I like you, you like me, let's get on with it....humans complicate shit too much.
I agree it’s annoying
Games are for inferior people. Superior people act natural. 🙂
I know right
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Absolutly great! Many woman say, that they don't want to change for a man. But I think it isn't changing. It's comunicating respectfully and still expressing what I want. Just as I would want others to communicate with me.
Your videos have been genuinely more helpful than therapy, thank you Matt. :)
I love this concept of the “Bliss Point”. This makes you understand in a few dates which one is the guy’s intention. I actually set my standards straight away with my current date. We are still at an early stage, but it seems working properly xx
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Fucking amazing. Matthew just understands human behaviour so well.
You're like the Ryan Gosling in the movie Crazy, Stupid, Love
kiki alexon Except he's probably not a fuckboy.
when your not getting anything but can't stop watching because of his sweet acent
karen chuchu sweet and perfect accent
karen chuchu sweet accent? i come from essex and his accent is basically true londoner/ essex-y. not your epitome of british accent.
very correct
karen chuchu ooomg yes😂
karen chuchu I'm also watching him. not caring at all what he says😍😰
This is brilliant. I actually heard it few years back and implemented it recently, in my own way. God he was so excited. I got him hooked with excitement while stating my standards. Thank you for putting valuable content for us ladies
When I was a kid, I used to have a crush on Elmo. My standards are... Ehhhh..
You standards are pretty high 👍
Ahahah i feel that 😂. I had a crush on the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz🤦🏽♀️
I had a crush on Peter Pain and Skipper from Penguins at Madagascar... Not regretting at all 🤣
Peppa pig lol
I fucking laugh so hard
As a man I can tell you this is excellent advice. Tell me how you feel but reaffirm that you like me so I don’t overthink it or question your intentions
I love the way your advises don't make me feel like I need to pretend but, sincerely, make the relationship better in the way it should be. Tnx
A man who wants you will be addicted to you already. Period.
Lol no he won't, he might just want a one nighter. You have much to learn young pup.
@@jugjitsharma4938 yess
A man who wants you, needs to feel he's wanted in return!
@@jugjitsharma4938 and I may be wanting the same. So, draw. Period!
BE CAREFUL OF THINKING LIKE THIS!!!! YOU WILL ATTRACT A NARCISSIST!!! PLEASE!
Your voice is seriously AMAZING.
Yes, it's his voice that is amazing 😂🤣
How does this man not have a wedding ring on his finger???
Ashley Victoria bc the girl try all his tricks on him 🤣🤣
because he got waaaay to much money,the guy is kind of evil but not stupid ;)
The people who give the best advice are normally the ones who can't take it themselves.
Because he’s helping everyone else put a ring on their partners! 🤷🏽♀️ And marriage isn’t everyone’s life goal so there’s that!
Nora G true that
Gosh i watched this last week. Now my bf is crazy about me.... But what you taught me is to know my worth.. and now im not the sweet girl that used to give whatever he wants but a more strict yet sweet person. I never knew how powerful being more confident and independent it is in front of your man.
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Thank you soooo much for giving a DETAILED EXAMPLE of how to respond when they ask us to come back to their place!!!! So helpful!
Why is a man allowed to ask such a thing and women have to study chemistry to be perfect?
Check the videos men are watching. It's basically the same language for a relationship from what it should be. (Fearless)
Yes! That was my first question! Why would a guy even think that is ok to ask in the first place, and on the other hand, why do we have to be the ones to figure out how to correctly communicate?
Cause we woman are the smartest and most close to our emotions (we have to study a way to move intelligently to protect our most valuable) =us ❤ !!!
@@rachelr1132 that's why nowadays so many kids (your Most valuable) are raised by single mothers without fathers because you are so smart...makes sense.🤣
@@TariQ-nx3uz Perhaps I expressed myself not clearly 🙂 Women are like Flowers: Beautiful, Delicate, blossoms when taken care of or dies when mistreated. Not always but most often time, Women end up played, heartbroken and abused mentally/physically etc.... I encourage women to understand and value the power in a balanced and healthy relationship. Knowledge is Power. 😘
Your smile ❤️ your personality ❤️ your eyes ❤️ your advices ❤️
“You know what there is a part of me who would love to because I think you’re really attractive. But that’s not my style to move that quickly. But if you want to meet some day or next week I would love that.”
Date: you wanna come over by my place?
Me: uh....hun, as much as I want to, and I really do, I can’t, because I don’t roll like that on the first date. Sorry.
Here's my bliss point = middle finger
same
whahwhahaahhahahahahah to funny what you said. I feel ,....what he saying because I have experienced that they are very very sensitive. But iam much older now so I have the patience otherwise indeed middle finger.
best comment ever
ahahahahah I recently was in a situation like that I went home with him had a chat and then left and said maybe another time...so I'm guessing I did it wrong and should've said you're sweet and all to give him that sweet and salty bliss point XD
love it
"communicating standarts" - a key phrase . Thank you!
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Akunna, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father Akunna, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Anyone noticed how freaking gorgeous this man is? Can't these tips work on you Mathew? Pleaseeeee marry me love? :'(
You are too sweet! And he said that doesn't work with guys! 😂😂😂
Aww haha thankyou. He is just sooo handsome.
I noticed ow hawt he is
Alina Mendoza Yap. It's almost impossible not to notice. ;)
+Nafisa Tarannum yes :)
Matthew, I hear what you are saying...Men get to stay the same but women need to say just the right things in order to not hurt their feelings. Why don't men start being gentlemen again, stop asking or assuming they are going to sleep with women on the first date or because they buy a drink and a meal for her? It's shocking to me that a guy would even ask that. I think your focus would help more if you helped men...teaching them how to be honorable and respectable towards women.
'teaching them how to be honorable and respectable towards women.' - respect should be earned, not given to you just because you're a woman. 'Why don't men start being gentlemen again' - modern feminism, that's why.
Most men have gone MGTOW ...type that in and check that out on You Tube...hundreds of different uploader's .
How about men and women both change to make the other one happy? You have to meet in the middle one gender can’t just give everything men or women
Amanda Reed the moment a man criticises a woman he is labelled as a misogynist, so good luck with that
Sir fap alot respect should always be given. It’s when someone disrespects you, that’s when ur able to chose to respect them or not. He just said “she might have sex, she might not” those options are BOTH very possible. Men and women both should understand optimal communication. He does men, in pretty see there’s one for women. Most men can’t give advice on how to talk to a women. Is that’s such a problem, go and find a woman.
Perhaps men need to create this bliss point with women and be more conscious of how to communicate with women!
Agreed
Men aren't mind readers either.
Do you think we don't watch videos of how to talk to women? When are women this pushy or forward to men?
@@andrewventresca9907 Not enough men care to do so!
@@christiankrueger2330 REALLY!?!
This is so gold and it opens a door for me to be bolder in conversations with the man that I like. Because I'm the kind of person who dates one guy only and I didn't know how to put into words what's in my mind so the guy got it all wrong. It's amazing how you help us to understand the situation and aline our ideas and put it into words. Great job! Love it! :)
Everyone else: this is to much work ugh.
me: HE MENTIONED FOOD OMG!!!!!
G OD perfect example for foodies 😂
GENIUS! you're brilliant! i love that you give examples all the time! you don't talk only at a conceptual level! great!
I found it 3 steps really interesting cause it not just aplies to men or dates. It applies to any first conversations with clients or even friends. 1 step be nice about something you sincery like about the other 2 say your standars and 3. invite him/her an agreement to look foward. Thanks Matthew
Greetings to you from Nigeria 🇳🇬 I'm just seeing you here for the first time though...I saw your profile and I love what I saw, can we be friends I hope you wouldn't mind
i think this is a wrong message to every girl/woman out there. if he likes you, he’ll stay. otherwise let him go, it wasn’t meant to be. don’t chase after sth that doesn’t want to be chased. you should use this energy to love yourself and not to chase someone. it’s that simple
I think it depends on how much you like him and how much he seemed to like you. What Matthew has advised will show if that man truly likes you if he did ever respect you not coming that night and also takes you out later on. If not then ur right.. don’t chase after it.
@@aaizaasghar3000 then he's gonna pretend and invite you again next week for a date and try again to lead you into having sex with him.. been there done that... Said what my standards were, told him we might meet again, he invited me again two days after and he was so sweet, pretended to be sweet, to want a serious relationship etc... i was naive and he realized i wanted a serious relationship so he lied... Of course, it ended with him saying he liked me soooo much, and one month after he just disappeared... It is his style, he is not mature enough to behave like a grown up, doesn't know what he wants in life with women... It depends on a guy if he is mature and on his character too... But i agree women should say what their standards are and everything's ok as long as both of you want the same thing at the same time.. my opinion
P.S. if he likes you soooo much, but for real, then you don't have to play games and he's gonna still be interested in you... If he is a player or not mature, there is no help.... Go away and meet the right one... I was hurt but learned my lesson
Yes it is that simple 👏👏👏👏
Sleeping with someone on a first date shouldn't lose or win their respect. I hate how sexist society still is. If a guy will judge you badly for it he doesn't even respect himself cause he was there too when sex happened. I agree if someone likes you they do either way
@@Filia_Noctis I think you are right to notice that guys are not attracted to girls who sleep on the first couple of dates but then they run around and sleep with girls if they can anyways. I’m a guy, and as someone who tries to have my actions follow a purpose driven life style, I think this is a careless mistake because then there are many woman like yourself who look up to these guys and think it must be the greatest thing ever. It’s nice to follow what’s right in front of you, it’s natural in a way. But if we followed every impulse we were given as people the we probably wouldn’t be as human than, more like an animal. Short term flings are just empty noise in the end in my opinion. You don’t have to reply but please think about it, one human to another ✌️👌
my experience: initially I pulled the "sweet girl" tactic and just made up excuses when he invited me over. Then I went home and had a spontaneous urge to just tell him exactly why I won't go. So I decided to tell him later that day that I won't go until I can fully trust him and to slow things down a little. You would think that would get the message across, but he still asked me over every single day for a week in which I would counteroffer with dates outside of his house. I called him out on it and asked him why he won't respect my decision because I will keep rejecting his offers regardless (not in a mean way at all). He said "it's called persistence." He stopped pursuing me after that week so it's clear what he was after.
I don't think it got him addicted to me, but I don't think that's the point. Why this method works regardless of how the guy responds is because YOU decide to be in control. If he can't respect that then it's truly his loss.
Some are just jerks-persistently wanting to get into your pants instead of a relationship. Not a loss at all. ;)
Airi wonderfully stated 👏🏻
Or you could try to be honest, instead of suger coating your actions, and stop being judgemental. So he asked you over to his place, everyday? Surely it was only for sex. What else can a woman and a man be doing together in the same place? Start a conversation, perhasp? Play a game? A movie? Don't get me wrong here. If you're used to hang around the types of men, that constantly pushes your standards, and straight out asked for sex i will agree with you, that's not very respectful of him. On the other hand, if a man just simply ask if you want to visit him, just for the company, why is it your first instinct, to doubt his intentions? It's such a turnoff for myself, and for many other men, iv'e had the honor to know, in my life. In fact, this is why it's such a challenge for me, to walk up to a woman, and give her a simple compliment, because of the judgemental looks we are given from the start: men only want sex. Some do, some don't it's the same thing for woman, but it's not how everyone else is seeing it. I'm so sick, and tired, and sad, that i as a man, can't invite a woman to my home, just to enjoy her company without her thinking: He will make a move, to have sex with me i just know it. And just for a fact. In my experience it was mostly the woman, that open for the sex, not me. And wanna hear something humoristic? Woman where always the one, to close for the sex at the same time. ''Arrogance was not intended here but i welcome the criticism'' That type of woman, pisses me off. As a man, you constantly have to show a woman, you're still interested in her, or else she will take that, as a hint that says: He is not interested in me. So as a man, you have to show interest, but not to much interest. Oh boy. No wonder some people remains single.
That was me letting some, aggravated thoughts out.
Have a good evening. :)
its a good way to filter out the horndogs.
CdCaasp Dinelion if you are being honest...guys like you aren't lost on everyone.
It would be refreshing to have a man approach with a compliment... Hopefully a thoughtful or original one, but I know the effort it takes just to speak to someone new.
Being able to talk to someone and really pick their mind and learn more....very attractive. Games, making someone dinner, movies, random activities you both can find interest in show so much about a person. All should be held in great value.
They are all also ways to build emotional connections and sexual tension. I am very cautious and try to exercise as much will power as possible, but I am a creature of touch and instinct. I find it very difficult sometimes to uphold my standards and maintain the impression I would prefer.
It often causes the better men with good hearts and strong standards to slip away. I can show great strength in most anything, but guys are, apparently, my Achilles heel.
Yes yes yes! JUST what i was looking for! Thank you!
This is actually brilliant
Although I am a man and from Germany, I love your work, your clear understandable language and your comprehensible content.
Can I just carry you on my date? This is the definition of smart!!!!
VICKY CHITWA I’m so afraid if my guy want to date with him more than me haha
I am imagining Matthew as the book that Minnie Driver's character gave to Anne Hathaway in Ella Enchanted lol
@@jamilabrownie OMG yesss
A hidden microphone
How to get him addicted to you :
Be a good person, and work on your flaws and be disciplined, along with keeping as open a mind as possible.
Cool
Nothing happens with these things also
@@rishikagarg4394 People want their partner to be addicted to them because they are insecure about losing them
Or have a bad self image.
That's why they have a strong urge to bind their partner to them. It relieves them of fear which they cannot bear to confront directly.
This is simply running away.
And
It hurts the partner, people must have free will, addiction is unhealthy no matter what it is towards.
You are right, being good doesn't get people addicted to you. But this is what you should strive for anyway.
@@arnavrawat9864 yes ofcourse the fear of losing him is what makes me feel insecure and i want him to be addicted...or i want my addiction towards him to revert back...bcoz this shit really hurts
Or just accept your flaws and see them as a part of you
The other thing is the mindset of women these days has rapidly changed, like I mean rapidly changed. Women have evolved greatly and no longer will play into the hunting “GAME” anymore. They will no longer be the submissive or YES person to please him. We are seeking an evolved man, a man that knows we don’t need to earn his respect. That we are worthy of respect just for who we are. We look for men that are looking for an equal and is happy to give us freedom just as much as he needs freedom. Things are way different in my eyes.
Lucca Betta, and about time too! :)
Maria B ohhhhhh absolutely! I have thought like this for years, since I was in my early teens. For so long, I feel like I have been beating this drum to deaf ears! These videos are so 1980’s
Like where has this guy been lately? Hiding under a rock, wake up and smell the roses, I say. It is all about empowered individuals coming together not, how a woman should be making an impression on a guy.
Lucca Betta IN YOUR EYES.........
You need to understand that modern feminism has destroyed a lot of things. Many men would rather be alone than become doormats or mind readers. Really it's about equal give and receive but many of these so called "empowered women" really aren't that empowered where men aren't concerned. Thus it becomes a control and intimidation game on men, or so men in a lot of forums feel like.
White Knight 5 This is a topic that has multiple layers to it. Also everyone has their own perception of how they view things based on personal experiences.
I would have to say to you that the true meaning of feminism is all about equality and as you can imagine some women have swung that definition to the other extreme where they are more masculine than feminine. I would say to you that many women have chosen the same to be on their own. I am very independent and never been married or lived with a man. I have not yet met a man that I am attracted to that has demonstrated he would treat me as an equal. You should try and be a pretty woman for a year and go online for example. You will soon enough find out how men view you, treat you and how aggressive they get when rejected. So many label themselves as Dominant looking for sub-missives. Or expect a women to meet them within seconds of chatting and they upload nude photos. I am sure there are women that do this too but, in my experience they completely ignore what you write about yourself and behave the opposite. That’s why women like myself have become assertive we are left with no other option when our requests are ignored.
Communication is the key 🧘🏼♀️
+2349076488922 send him a message on WhatsApp, he was the one helped me get my ex back....
All you need is give the relationship time to grow, blossom and flourish - It apllies both ways if you want a long term and meaningful love story - Above all, self-respect is a good starter whatever your gender x x x
Melinda Bass,Your lovely smile 😊 can make the news!!
Guy : aye do u wanna go home with me ?
me : I mean .. if there's a ps4 or Xbox I'm all in lololol
Holy Molly! A gamer girl! I have to marry you! Great answer btw. 😛
is the guy scottish or something?
@@artv.9989 Lol ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ maybe aye
Me
@@artv.9989 Haha I bet he is
Honestly I love his input and I think it's brilliant! I am definitely the girl that's too sweet and he described that situation perfect! I am recently single and I am trying to date online and a lot of guys are looking for a hook up and it's been difficult to express my standards with out coming off like a B or being to passive and having guys take advantage. I would love to see him explore online dating a little and maybe put some tips out there for us! Thank you for your videos!
The most important is not how do I communicate with him, but how he communicates with me. First things first!
Brilliant, but we women also need to "bliss point " not only guys, we also need them to create attraction, some are either too straightforward, desperate or assholes
Husband Hunter amen. So true.
I will not waste my time on women.
Amen lol