OVERWHELMED?! When to PUSH through or PULL back!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 พ.ย. 2023
- Feeling overwhelmed? Does your to-do list seem never-ending? Do you just need a freaking break?! In this podcast, let's chat about how to know what tasks are a push, and which ones are a pull.
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Have you ever heard that women need 'putter' time? It's a thing for women and it's helpful to us. It looks like doing almost nothing or nothing important. For me it looks like organizing buttons, or thread, or pens, or craft supplies, or linens, or socks or my dresser drawer with the odd items - or doing all of those things. Each item I touch gets my full attention. I think it's some sort of a reboot for my brain and for the 'gatherer' in me to re-evaluate what I have. Now that I declutter all the time, it can also be about decluttering, but that's not the point of what I'm doing. In fact it's how I unwind when decluttering has become exhausting. I'm not in a hurry and there is no end result. I't's just 'puttering'. I can't get the same results sitting, watching TV or TH-cam. It's low key activity. So women out there - indulge yourself and putter!
I agree!
Over here in the UK 🇬🇧 we call it "pottering" & ur right it can be extremely useful. Now that I'm retired, I often wake up without a plan for the day, so I just go with the flow & see in what direction my body or brain sends me. It's a very liberating feeling & it can be quite surprising just how much u can accomplish 🤔😁
Yes! I do this also, like watering & tending to my plants - needs to be done but no decisions...
Wow thank for sharing - I didn’t have the worlds to put to that feeling and now I have the permission to putter ❤
Yes! In fact I used that word to describe one of my days recently…and that was what I was doing.
Your personality seriously lights up my day every time I listen to you. Thanks for being you, Cas!
We take a 24 hr break every Friday night to Saturday night for Shabbat (to cease) with zero guilt! Took us a while to relax until it became a habit. Look forward to it every week!
This sounds glorious!
I'm working toward that too. Growing up Saturday was the big clean the house day so it's an adjustment mentally. My body says yes, thank you 😊
Well done, God grants us rest, Jesus is our Sabbath we cease from conforming to the world 🕊🙏🏻
It wasn't weird. It was great. It was like getting advice from a friend, which is what I needed. Thank you for taking time to do this podcast.❤
It felt weird because I just rambled without any planning or sense or what I was going to say next...lol. I'm so happy you found it helpful!
@@ClutterbugPodThat's part of why we love u & can relate to u!
Yes, this was so relatable. Thank you for sharing.
I am struggling right now with depression, needing to find a new job, dealing with a toxic workplace, working on decluttering my things, plus just a million other things. So, thank you, Cass for this video.
In the short amount of time between getting ready to take my daughter to school and getting back home, I had so many thoughts run through my head. I have a tension headache and had decided to find something nice to listen to. I found this, and it is a relief to find someone who can relate.
Very practical, helpful, to-the-point podcast. Thank you, Cas👍💞
Cas is my to go to when overwhelmed and/or and trying to achieve something in my house 😂
It amazes me that you can be so eloquent and helpful just off the cuff like this.
Prayers for your family as you celebrate the life of your step-dad.
I woke up entering burnout mode. Then I saw this podcast in my feed and I felt like you were talking just to ME during the entire episode. I needed this. Thank you. ❤
Someone gave me a poster that says: "A Lot of what weighs you down isn't yours to carry." It sounds like this isn't necessarily the case for you right now, but that same friend recommended to hide out in the bathroom - light a candle and hang out in there for 5 or 10 minutes when overwhelmed. Focus on your breath and the flame for a few minutes, then flush. Ha! (Well, that way, people think you're busy in another way and not daring to rest.)
I have a cold. Watching your video reminded me that i can slowly fold laundry while listening
This video is a treasure. The overwhelm that a never ending to-do list gives is draining! Thanks for talking about this Cas🤗
I'm so sorry to hear about your step dad. You're in my thoughts. I love your videos and podcasts. They've helped me so much ❤ You're so inspiring for this former extreme slob.
I really needed to hear this right now. I am so burned out from my daughter being in and out of the hospital for months, I feel like I’m going to end up in one myself. 😢
Thanks Cass for reminding us that some things you don’t necessarily have to push for and that rest is prescribed and necessary! 💕& ☮️ from SFL❤
❤🙏🍀🍀🍀✨️
What exhausts me is that I feel like I'm not fully present when I'm in overwhelm. Not really listening to kids or spouse while thinking about what I "should" be doing. Or wanting to play with family while I needed to stay on task. Making margins of time around events has helped me. Blessings and peace.
My problem is I'm an HSP (highly sensitive person), I have anxiety, and I get overwhelmed SO easily. Just having to travel somewhere, or have two appointments in a row for example, is enough to send me into perpetual panic until it's over. So yeah, usually I just have to push through because I have kids. I can't just NOT bring them to appointments. BUT I find if I can space things out enough, I handle it a lot better.
Me, too! I’ve had to learn about borders. HSP and INFJ, we need the breaks in between the noise of life.
I think Cass is my spirit animal.
I think for people with ADHD the "push to the limits" mindset makes a lot of sense because we constantly are entertained by new stuff. It stimulates our minds. Speaking from experience as a person with ADHD who is now trying to pursue their masters. :|
Great podcast as ALWAYS!
Cass! Why are you always adding another plate to balance when you’ve mastered a challenge? Because that’s the way forward and up! That actually shows that you’re highly intelligent and motivated on a deep level! It is not a character flaw I promise you (although I know it is exhausting!)❤❤❤❤
I'm sorry for your loss. Cattering is always an option.
The timing of this video couldn’t have been better!!! I needed this today!!! Thank you, Cass! 😊
PS- I’m sending healing thoughts for you, and your family as you celebrate your step-dad’s life. 🤗
My dad had a heart attack earlier this week. He got medical care really fast, and he is recovering well. Between this, my own medical appointments, and my teen having several school related activities, it was a crazy week (I'm a single mom). I kept the 'basics' going - laundry, dishes, pet & teen care (lol), and it felt so good to not be behind - thanks to having been at this decluttering journey for a while already, thanks to in particular the videos/podcasts from you, Dana, Dawn, and Midwest Magic Cleaning.
I was able to drop things that could wait without guilt and without ending up in a mess as a result from it. I was even able to offer my mom to come stay with us in the guest room - the bed is made, it's a comfy room to be in - but not perfect, it has totes and boxes that need shipped to another child. But it works. It's usable. Even in a pinch. And the one bathroom is too. She preferred to stay at her place, but it was super nice to be able to offer it, knowing it was ready already, without having to worry or rush in and pick up or clean the toilet!
Thank you.
At 1 minute and 15 seconds, you had already nailed it for me ( as always).
18 years ago, I was at burnout. It took a long time to recover, and there were lifetime consequences. Even since then, I protect my mental health and my level of stress.
Gosh I agree with you on the push. The one exception I would make is the chili. Take out. Forget that it’s not homemade. Also can you postpone one of the colleges til another time? Maybe the closest one for a morning or afternoon. I’m not in your phase of life so I can only come at it from a mama of an adult daughter’s perspective. I feel your pain!
When my husband died, the women's club at our church provided lunch after the funeral. SUCH A GOOD THING when 100+ people show up to pay their respects. If you divide the house cleaning among the whole family, it can be done in 30 minutes (minus laundry). I used to make laundry day my "active rest" as you call it. While the machines were working, I could read, watch TV, or any other item I enjoyed. When you're dealing with death, people want to help. And it is actually an act of charity to let them. For me, I give the grieving family a tub of my homemade spaghetti sauce that's freezable and in a disposable container, and then they don't have to return it. I donate money to events when I can't help out physically. And finally, cyber hugs to you and your family.
Condolences to you and your family, Cas.❤I worked long hours under chronic stress for years because of my ADHD and an abusive shirker boss, and developed health issues as a result. Now that I have no choice but to do less, I so wish I'd felt empowered to prioritize & insist on a balanced schedule. We all deserve rest.
I swear Cass that l must have been your twin in a previous life (lol). I never seem to have time. I spend my spare time painting the house only after l have filled in my daughter's college applications, taken my Mum shopping, cleaned out the rabbit, cooked, baked, or helped my Mum's neighbours manage their garden. Give me a coffee!!!😂
Your voice is so soothing & energizing. You're naturally a therapist ! Hugs from South Africa 🇿🇦 🤗
SO therapeutic Cas, thank you for finding the time to share your wisdom ♥️
Listening to you complain helps me know that I’m not alone. The best part is that you didn’t just complain though, you offered up some solutions as well. So so helpful!
I have been in a constant state of overwhelm, for many years. .... I can relate.
Condolences on your stepdad. You're in my thoughts and prayers, my friend! Podcast was very helpful 👍
It was perfect, thank you, listening to your calm voice while ironing my clothes - so relaxing.
The hippity hoppity is dopamine chasing. Like the man who finally got the beach house but sits searching through the media for the next rush, not ever enjoying the beach.
Prioritizing is needed, maybe only 3 tasks a day.
A To-Do list is best done at the end of the day as one looks back at what was still needing to be accomplished.
Living for the day is a must otherwise anxiety kicks in thinking of the future. And the living for the day is the time to fulfill the steps toward the future.
Planning for the future of 10 years or even the end of life often gives a clearer perspective of what is most important. We are truly strangers just passing through and that often knocks aside what isn’t important of this worldly life.
Just what I needed today. I'm not alone.
I’m sorry for your loss.
For many of you with younger children who are trying to keep the inventory in your homes under control and considering these difficult financial times. Ask grandparents to help pay for dance lessons, music lessons, or sports expenses. Or maybe family members can buy memberships to museums or maybe other experiences. In the long run, the experiences will add more value to a child’s life than some toy.
eft tapping for overwhelm is also very helpful
Catching up on my videos because I took a "pause" for Halloween. Even the fun things I could be stressful because I was stressing out about missing the activity due to traffic or arriving late. I was feeling guilty because I didn't concentrate on decluttering and cleaning as much as I had in previous years, but I also have a lot less to declutter and cleaning is much easier, so I took "a pause" to declutter the books and dvds I didn't enjoy last year.
Thank you for being with my while I actively rest and fold laundry! Your voice is soothing and friendly, like we’ve been old friends for years. I tend to naturally wake up hours earlier than necessary on busy days so I’ve chosen to fold all the clean laundry that built up over the week. I said a little prayer for you that you can get time to breathe and through this busy time.
I’ve always heard about active rest regarding fitness routines or off days from exercising, but this makes sense for life in general too, thanks for giving me a new perspective! Definitely like you too, I cannot participate in leisure unless it’s obligatory or everything else is taken care of-and it NEVER is, not for a multiple toddler mom it isn’t. So. This is good advice. I need to power thru and be ruthless with decluttering too bc the less BS I have to clean…the less I’ll have to clean.
This is just what I needed today. It’s not weird at all. Took a day off. Was way overwhelmed and exhausted. There was no way my brain was going to function. I am glad I took a time out. Got some rest and a little productive at home.
This was a great podcast! I love it! & I feel this all the time, too! I workout on my rower & do dishes while I watch your videos! Makes me look forward to those activities instead of dreading them! 😂❤
I do that too. As a matter of fact, I was watching this while walking. It makes the activity so much more enjoyable.
You're my spirit animal.
I'm so very sorry about the loss of your father. It IS overwhelming to plan and execute all of these things. Please find some time to rest. We love you.
Thanks Cas! Great to hear others are in the same boat right now. I gave myself 10 minutes on coach with my feet up to listen to your podcast and it recharged and motivated me for a busy day! 😊
Oh my gosh, girl! Your calendar made me hyper ventilate!
Cas thank you so much for making this video. I'm so sorry about your loss. I hope you can find time to rest. 💕✨️
I so needed to hear this!! Ive been trying to clear out my garage from the rummage sale i was trying to do. Now that its already snowed one I feel really pressured to get it done. Well I was stopping at the grocery store before dropping off some more donations and I ended up having a full blown panic attack. It was so bad. So yesterday I did the nothing but hearing this and knowing i should ease myself back into daily tasks is probably a good idea.
I literally have to do everything in short bursts. Just to get daily chores done.
Just 2 min. In and : yes, exactly, every time I fell I have my life under control, I add something: renovation, move, new baby, new project... 😂
😂 Everything you described is so totally my personality. I don't know how to peace be still. Just gotta go.. gotta learn.. gotta do!
I do not know how you do all you do Cass?! I can not even get myself out of my home (only to walk my Madge about 4/5 times a day) due to my sever anxiety about leaving my home, and going out into the world. Have not been out since January 2020. You would think being at home all the time, I would keep the place spotless, but this is far, far, far from the truth! I just have very little get up and go. But listening to you Cass, and your ideas of how to tackle things, gives me hope. xxx
Great podcast as we begin this new year!
I am exactly this way with my adhd. Why can't i just enjoy the fact that i have conquered a challenge instead of seeking out the next one?
We crave the dopamine response we get from 'new and shiny'. We are amazing people, usually very creative and intelligent, and probably misunderstood.
I have to use tricks to stay on task - physical timers, post-it notes, and sometimes someone to shadow me while I declutter. My mind still races and wants to do everything interesting - I have to limit the initial exposure to ideas. I can't go on social media often, or look at magazines, or watch decorating shows, or shop.
If I shop, I start to imagine everything I could make, then I get a picture of how it will look on my walls, or my entry. Or I will see a random piece of old furniture and think - hey I could turn this into xyz. Or I could repurpose 6 of them and sell at a flea market, or teach people to do that.
THAT will get me in trouble every time.
Or I will volunteer at church and another idea will pop up on how to take it farther.
It is hard to say no, but I had to ponder that this wasn't bringing real value to my life. It was creating unsustainable chaos and expectations and anxiety.
Taking a walk outside can ground me, taking a walk around my house and seeing the unfinished DIY that was exciting 3 weeks ago languishing - big reality kick in the crazypants.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your stepdad. Thank you for this video.
I just ALWAYS want a nap!! My husband once said "you can nap like a mo fo."
It's true. But I also always feel overwhelmed with my two jobs and all the things I either need or want to do at home.
Yes❤ I don't have the ability to delegate! And The work around this house is crazy right now. How do you rest without the to do list is neverending. 😂 I just want a nap
I am a newish subscriber to your channel and I am obsessed. Last night I was listening to several videos while putting things away and it gave me great motivation. I finally threw away a once much loved holdall that has cracked leather handles etc. I have held on to it for years and thought many, many times of trying to repair it, get it repaired. It was the best feeling ever letting it go. Today I am exhausted and having a down day in my own grief journey. I was sitting while making lunch and feeling so guilty and ashamed but now I know I was actively resting. Life changing. Thank so, so much.
May your Step-dad RIP. X
There is nothing wrong with you. I am just like you. Not only do I keep adding new challenges in my life (even when I am not really on a break) but I am also always trying to offer help to friends in need. There is nothing wrong with us.
We just want to suck everything out of life. At the step towards death, we want to say "I have done that, I have seen this, I have experienced all the more I could in this life". We want to say we are full, we are whole. Yes, it is overwhelming but it is how our brain functions.
I am never bored. I always have things I like to do. I do get tired, even more than others. But I can't help thinking that otherwise, I am wasting time. Isn't time our "Precious"???
Thank you, kisses from Greece.
Thank you, Cass
It's true that your body will shut down if you don't take the time. I have severe sciatica right now and can't walk. So I'm getting really good at delegating, and learning to be okay with dropping certain things, as well as learning what I am able to do while bedridden.
So sorry for your loss. Peace to you all.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Picking up my kids from school and I’m sitting in carline has proven to be the BEST active rest in my day!
This I will listen to again. Gotcha!
I do this too!! I recently read a fun book called “The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control” and it identified me as a “messy” perfectionist. Where I have all of these amazing ideas that I start but don’t actually have the time or energy to do them all. But of course I keep trying and then get exhausted.
I don’t have a solution yet, but I’ve been trying to focus on just one thing at a time and reminding myself that I can only DO one thing at a time. Simplifying.
I love your perspective on just choosing rest first.
As I listened to this episode I was leisurely doing dishes 😊. But seriously, I detest busyness and your load would be my nightmare. Please take care and get some rest Cas.
Thank you! I needed to hear this...
❤ Sending love and Aloha to your family at this difficult time. 💔
We appreciate you so much and I loved this! It was just what I needed. No scripts necessary!
Thanks Cass. Despite your overwhelm, your voice is very soothing. Before you even mentioned active rest, I found myself slowly tidying the kitchen due to the cadence of your voice. Condolences and love to you and your family.
I have adhd as well and only recently have been diagnosed. I'm nearly 50. I definitely relate to this but I tend to go in sprints. I go full out for a few weeks then get so overwhelmed and tired or burned out that I just say f it and crash for a week or two or more. Thank you so much for your much needed advice.
What a great conversation! Even when we intellectually know the whole work-rest-reward thing is "fake news", we don't realize that we might have a subconscious belief that pushes us, maybe in specific circumstances too, beyond what is really necessary.
Thank you! ❤️♾️❤️
Hi Cas! This can't solve your current busyness, but I would really encourage you to read/listen to The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer. That book has totally changed how I view my time and the value of slowness and rest. The author is a pastor, and how he shares the biblical support for prioritizing rest is so convicting!
Somehow you manage to speak to my soul. You are GREAT at what you do.
So well stated! I can spend hours puttering around the house. All those little things we do add up and are important.
Thank you for sharing 🙏 lots of love from arctic Norrway 🙌🍁🍀🌻🌹
When I’m in burnout, I remind myself that I’m not a transplant surgeon on call. No one is going to die if I take a 20 minute refresh - whether that’s an actual nap, a shower, or active relaxation. Or letting the house “go” a bit. My husband never feels anxious when the house is messy and we have company coming over - why should I?
🧡Thank you for your frankness!
I have been calmly listening to your video while actively pickling jalapeños-with gloves on, of course. Thanks for sharing-I needed this today!
Great talk! Thank you. 😊❤
Thank you so much!!!! Love it!!!!! Love from Ania from Poland
Living with SERIOUS clutter and being physically disabled has me BEYOND overwhelmed! I do not know what to do or where to find free help. Am in a fixed income and do NOT have funds to pay for help😢 So feel extremely trapped 😢
Thank you for this video.
I suffered burn out as your described and it was horrendous! It happened in a very public place infront of a lot of people and it was awful.
Please accept my condolences on your family's lost. This podcast came at a great time for me. Thank you. I listened to it while putting away the last of my Summer clothes.
After years of doing this asca teacher, retirement was quite an adjustment but my husband and I are learning to relax.
An EMT on the weekends 🤣 stop it 😂
You helped me to relax while I was cleaning my art room!!
Feeling exactly like that right now
Thank you for this! You made me realize that I do too much active rest. My home is clean, but there is no progress on the big things or much time spent having fun either.
It's time to push forward a little more so I can enjoy some pull back!
Thank you for this! It was just what I needed to hear.
I'm taking vacation next week but feel guilty b/c I have things I need to get done at work. I struggle to relax
The overwhelm is what got me watching your channel. I had to do something about it and was looking for the tools to do it. Thank you!
Thank you for making this podcast ❤😊
So sorry for your loss. I think when we loose a loved one, we sometimes take on too much to fill the hole left by their absence. Sometimes we need to recognize this and let a few things go so we can let ourselves grieve. Thank you for the wise advice.
Cas... thank you👍... I...me!!...needed this❤
This came at the perfect time ♥️♥️
So sorry to hear of your loss. I can totally relate to the nap thing.
I love your podcast. You are so awesome and relatable. ❤
Cass I am the poster child for a three page list total adhd definitely!!! I never say stop, so I’ve have at 68 years old I just say I can’t do it until this is done ugh plus you work and the kids and you do everything just look at it and say stuff p grab food out Chinese food order it feed the tribe and go to bed early ❤❤❤❤❤❤