This is such an accurate story for an insecure narcissistic boss that I had. He piled on stupid worthless busy work on me, but also had me write technical presentations and technical reports for him so he could present them to his bosses. I saw how messed up that situation was I became so exhausted from this game that i wrote in his name on the cover pages instead of my own. He kept the high visibility project to himself, but he really struggled with them because he didn't want to admit that he was disorganized. I also had alot more credentials under my belt than he did, and he did every thing he could to down play that fact. I got into this role of being under him because I was hired under a different manager, and then that manager was promoted, and then there was some department re-structuring caused by that promotion, and I was placed under this guy. Once I figured out that he was gaslighting me and undermining me, and I gained my confidence back, the only functional solution was to leave the company. He was scared and had to hold back tears when I left. But he knew he was being a douchebag the entire time. Im not there to write his technical reports any more. Such hypocrisy. Its best to recognize these types as soon as possible and create a strategy to deal with them.
1. Micromanaged 2. Continual criticism 3. Keeps office door open and "reminds me repeatedly" of my shortcomings in earshot of coworkers 4. Doesn't look me in the eye when I speak 5. Shoots down all of my ideas (while others say they are great) 6. Keeps information from me 7. Wants to be copied on all emails that I send out. 8. Prepare cumbersome reports that he can use to spotlight his achievements.9. Tries to make me look incompetent in front of his boss. However, boss' boss used to be my boss and knows what I do and likes me. Thanks to his open door policy, we've met twice to talk about my boss.
I recently encountered this exact situation in my first permanent FT career role. I pulled off a successful event we hosted with Margaret Atwood, which I prepared for all on my own, and many other achievements. Months of hard work and occasional praise only to be brutally sabotaged at my PR. I'd suspected beforehand, but it was around this point that I truly understood my boss was acting out of insecurity and narcissism due to feeling threatened as they were nearing the end of their career, and I was the bright young thing on the come up. I quickly went out and secured a new job and better career opportunity, and so far it's been great!
Very true. They also bully by proxy. They use others to do it then pretend to be impartial or blatantly side with the bullies. They smile in your face and pretend to “have your back” then do everything behind the scenes to make sure you never grow.
I used to have a boss who would never let me start my own projects even when the higher management approved it would be great for their business. He would overload me with paperwork and all the boring stuff that was out there. Every time I presented something new to him he would say “that’s very nice of you, but we don’t need this atm”. One day I just stopped discussing my projects with him and went directly to his manager (the head of our department) and he gave me the approval for my new projects and let my boss know that I will work on them regardless. Later my boss started s-talking me and how badly I performed on the regular tasks and started lashing out at me almost every day. At some point it just got too much and I left. A year later I was earning more than him having non-managing position while he stayed at the same place doing small projects he used to overload me with.
Absolutely 100% right! The worst part is they promote incompetent people to equalise you and even worse above you in the hierarchy to push you out. I had a manager who hired a team of incompetent people and told me at the end of the first year “ I am not a fan of star performers. I want the whole team to do well“. How can the team of incompetent people he hired himself ever do well. He went to Wharton school and that’s what he learnt there. I left. But the irony is 95% of financial industry is like this.
They take credit for your work, they even micromanage you hoping you will slip up so they can use that against you, or they give you the undesirable jobs. They see you as a threat so will keep you down. Same for co-workers, they may see you as a threat to their chances of promotion. As explain in your other videos, being friends with co workers is a sheer exception, not the rule, and anyone who thinks you can make friends at work is quite naive, as I know from experience they will throw you under the bus to save their own skin or to get promoted.
OMFG, This was my supervisor and His Boss back in 2019-2020 ALL OF IT... Had I not gotten laid off because of COVID with a Huge Severance package thanks to HR, they would've found any excuse to try and fire me, they were indeed that bad. The looks on their faces as I walked out on that last day while I'm beaming ear to ear, PRICELESS *Chef's Kiss* ...and then later found out from coworkers still there that their department offices got cut and my Supervisor's boss got fired for harassment 🤣
The first half of the video is exactly what's happening in my work life right now. Your boss won't even let you be through IJPs coz of their insecurity. Awesome video 👏
7:34 I got stuck with the "busy work" given Im the youngest in my office by 20 years and don't fit the "bro mold". Thankfully technology can really eliminate nonsense. 1) Speech to text apps 2) Google app scripts to autofill and generate documents 3) Organized cloud storage with extensive records so you can reuse past work Ended up leveraging the deliberate pile on to take over all admin tasks. Then moved on to my actual role. Now Im harder to replace because Im the only one in the facility who knows how to do the admin work. Also I got really lucky. They handed off the nightmare job of parsing financial data that's 95% of our funding. It use to be done by hand and take weeks. I wrote a script that does it in 5 seconds and that connected me with my boss's boss's boss.
@gavins9846 many of them do. They get so consumed with trying to make you look bad and eventually slip by handing you an opportunity that gets you noticed 😅😅
So much of what you have discussed in this video describes my own personal experiences to a T. Thankfuly I have moved on now and have a different manager but I have had first hand experience of each and every point you have reaised here. Most definitely the darkest period of my career. Great upload - Subscribed!
Yep I have been at my current company going on 11 years and I have SEEN it all. CoWorkers who worked on my team who were jealous and competitive. Weird performance reviews and everything. I had Boss give me a bad review which was strange because I had been with the company 4 years at the time and never had any bad reviews. I was disappointed, six months later it's review time and he told me my work was amazing. His body language seemed fake. Mind you I didn't make any major changes to my performance. I think he intended to try to get me to quit the job because he was now leading a new team and my old manager left. A mess!
Had a boss remove me as SME from a project, after I had set up everything to deliver his original goals of automating a task in full based on requests and approvals. Only to give the project to someone else, that person didn't only not deliver on the project goals, but lead to her having to hire people just to be able to continue after the project. A year later she quit with a shitty project still not completed.
What are your thoughts on a boss that manages through "her" fear of losing her job? She's not mean, but she's not competent and doesn't appear to want to understand enough of what her team does to lead them. It's clear she is very afraid of her leaders, so she will randomly ask for updates. But she seems to only do it when she is being pressured to. We only know that she's off when she just happens to mention it in a meeting. Or you will sign in to work and her out of office is on in our chat room. As for the work, I provide updates to her along the way, but she doesn't seem to care. Then all of a sudden she cares and starts asking for updates because someone might ask. I hope that makes sense. She seems deathly afraid of losing her job, but she isn't taking any action to improve her engagement. Seems burned out also. But she will throw you under the bus if she has to.
I had a manager like this … would only get engaged when her boss would ask her for an update. It caught up to her when she suddenly needed an update when I was out sick. She frantically sent me text after text begging for information… but I was in the ER. She learned to be ‘better engaged’ from that point on.
Currently dealing with this in regards to daily updates and then she doesn’t even show up to sit down to meet with me. When I email updates, she contacts me later or the following day and asks a million questions. I’ve only been on the job for 1 month and I work in HR. She’s and executive director, so I’m not under her chain of command like that.
This describes my current manager. He doesn't understand the work so he thinks he can boil everything down to a spreadsheet he can make it work. Every problem has one right answer and a whole bunch of wrong ones. 😖 He loooves paperwork.
Ohhh that's a spicy topic. Over the last few years I've been diving into the empath/narcissist dynamic. The more I get into the more complex I see it. Surface level: strife with abuse. Deeper level: a lot of folks claiming to be empaths are either trauma responding or... Are narcissists. So I'm plotting this one with care because a) harm reduction, I need to word everything right, and b) I'm finding more questions than making my mind up on anything 💜
Good Morning 🌞 Jennifer - I always use a performance review as a chance to constructively rebut what is in there that I view as inaccurate. I make sure I am on the record as well. Have a Great Day 😃
That does not always work. My bosses told me I was a liar despite evidence to the contrary. They got angry when I recorded their conversations and posted them to TH-cam. Now no one wants to work there anymore.
Yep, I am living this at my job right now. My boss *and* his boss are using all of these tactics. I will find a new job and leave as soon as I possibly can.
NEVER let a bad boss dull your sparkle. Find a boss that appreciates you and let them know why you are leaving. Eventually they will get the message- until then go where you are valued. And some of these snakes are so good at manipulating. It's their issues - don't let their issues become yours. NOw if you are a bad lazy employee- you deserve it - but if you are doing a good job and a solid employee - go where you are valued
I almost choked on my coffee when you gave the boss quotes. 😲 I lived that far too long. I have heard through 🍇 that he is leaving already. Eight months after me. Okay, I did choke on the Chad boss quotes. No more coffee on your channel for me... 😁
Not sure if undermining or maybe a new video idea but.. I was asked to sit with a trainer who was prepping to teach a class and show her how it works. I pointed out a flaw in one workflow and showed her my recent research about what it should be. She said "we will both bring this to a workgroup and I'll invite you". A few weeks later an email goes out about the update. The trainer took my work as her own to the group and I had a paper trail. Sent it to my boss and expressed that I was upset etc. She said she would look into it. Nothing ever happened.
most untalented bosses are as you say narcissist that is why they are boss and are to threatened or stupid to use you, they just want you gone any way they can.
My narcissist ex-boss was absolutely threatened by me. The CEO would sing my praises which aggravated the f**k out of him. It was evident my work was changing the success of the business. He couldn’t take credit. He went to sabotage. That didn’t work either 😂. He tried to fire me during the pandemic. I had to WFH because I have an autoimmune disease. I think he walked that back because the CEO wanted me and it would have resulted in a lawsuit. I’m so glad I fled that place!
I'd love for you to make a video of how to overcome a boss not promoting you. I have been employed with the same company for nearly 8 years and have watched people walk right by and get promoted. If I try to quit they offer me more money and even gave me a fake job title but I'm still doing the same thing I was hired on to do. I'm planning my exit strategy (it's the only thing I can think of at this point).
I made a video a few months ago on this! In fact, I think it's the one I linked at the end of this video because it's something that needs to be dug into.
Mine is a weird combo. My boss has said I’m a high performer, she’s told her boss and he’s given me praise. I also know that she’s a low-confidence, threatened boss. The VP has asked her about providing subordinates with opportunities for advancement and she told the VP that our team isn’t set up that way. But, although I don’t completely expect a promotion, for going out of my wheelhouse and above and beyond what I was hired to do, she just hired other people, they have the same title and they either do none of what I do or I have to train them. But, I think it’s also because she’s not a competitive person much and she sees the team as more of a Girl Scout troop, than individuals trying to get ahead in life, although our getting ahead is not her responsibility. Because of things being the way they are and because the job pays well and is a decent commute, with some WFH time, I’m sticking it out, particularly since I’m in my late 50s now. But, I’ve handled my absolute irritation with this by starting to work on newer, higher skills of what I do, even if it merely turns out to be a hobby that makes a lil cash on the side. But, I can tell you that, I’ve never been happy with people who are fine, as long as today is the same as 5 years ago. It is stagnant and stagnating.
This is exactly what am facing. But He can't be removed because his father is a childhood friend to the CEO. My line Manager in HQ has tried and remains on my side. But she can do nothing based on her position. So am leaving this year. I am just reducing contact with him till l leave. Thanks for this confirmation.
specially when its too much of micromanagement... oh God I still can't get over the trauma of negative bias and constructive nepotism. my manager and my boss both sucked at management and they hav total disregard for human resource. I left school.... bt I'M never quiting teaching. they can't take my purpose away from me. LOL😂😂
Most of the rules in 48 laws of power worked well back when kings and queens were still a thing, but in our society now a days the rules don’t work quite as well. Some work though.
The first item on this list certainly reminds me of my boss. I don't even know why she is even a manager, she has been a manager for a year. Speaks out often about actively disliking the company. I've been on the team for longer and really stepped up my game, and pick up a lot of the secondary task people forget about along with carrying the teams to our KPI's the last time, I took vacation we ended up with a number regulatory tasks that have to been done missed because no one was in charge and making sure everything got coved. My reward for that is nothing not a thank you or anything. Then in my midyear review, she gives me some story about how she does apricate everything I do, yet never gives me any commendations that get viewed by my fellow managers and department heads, so worthless praise and has the nerves to then say I'm only meeting expectations in my job role. So wouldn't even go to bat for the person who makes her job easy in front of her peers. Her reason for me only meeting expectations is while I've stepped up a lot, I've only been doing so the last three months, forgetting she purposely delayed me getting on development courses at work while she took two months off sick. I'm only visible now to the department heads because I've made my own opportunity regardless. She is in reality a terrible boss in that respect stumping growth.
Its sad because most of us, will unfortunately quit the job because the anxiety/stress feom " that said boss" makes it not worth it! Jealousy is what it comes down to!! Nothing you did wrong its sad situation 😢 but walking away and having q better mental state is better than enduring the jealousy and hatefulness of the boss . Gl❤
THIS explains why the incompetent people become bosses and get promotions. The losers climb higher - unless it's a private company. They value and KNOW the value of good employees. Go there!
I just sat in a presentation today on what my team is doing (marketing). But there’s one hitch…this was my campaign which included 80-90% of my work with the remaining being contributed by the team (mostly cuz they own the channel). I was shocked I never got a shout out but my supervisor was quick to take the glory and in private said “thanks team.” I like my colleagues but they didn’t get the results. I did. What’s worse, I feel guilty for even being childish and greedy with that. But when people only need to copy and paste into an email or simply show up…it’s kind of crappy.
omg, my mouth dropped open at the burying you in busywork and reducing to note taker, (I'm an admin role, so they made minuting of meetings my sole job.) The very thing that exacerbates my work injury. God help me.
Mu Boss didn't like me, I got fired 3 weeks ago I tried everything to please him, be kind and asked what he wanted. I guess it wasn't enough, as he turned everybody against me
I was trained at Jimmy John's, bro! Freaky Fast and Flawless is the motto, let me work, dang it >:( I don't need to be a salaried slave, keep your title, let me help you do stuff! Sheesh!! (Thank you, I'm just venting)
I literally ran out of work and have asked for more but there hasn’t been a meeting about it yet. Plus team is avoiding me. I do all my work correctly so just am confused
I have to continuously clean up the mess he creates. Am not the only one talking. He is known as he has been in 3 regions, but because of the politics. There can't be a change.
I’ve never understood this. If I train someone and they do really well then their success is also my success. It means I did well too. That said, there are managers that I work under (directly & indirectly) that are like this. They keep crucial info to themselves, micromanage to the extreme, undermine and keep you “in your place” to make themselves look better. Sometimes they will give kudos, but it’s just as often a nasty email or comment and is about as predictable as flipping a coin. Everything depends on their mood that day and they change their mind more often than Shania Twain.
EERY BOSS HAS A BOSS - find out who it is if you get a bad one. Sometimes the higher they are the worse they are - but never sell your soul if you are at a job like that. If the boss's boss isn't willing to step in - you step out. And tell them on the way out
OMG this is so true. How do these types of people get to be the boss?? How does that happen? When I am in a boss position you understand good employees make YOU look good. UNLESS you are an idiot then it threatens your personal issues. Once again - how do they get to be bosses?? AND WOMEN can be the worst when threatened by another confident woman. I think getting to know who your boss will be - is crucial to see if they will value you. And bosses that are personally inept - look elsewhere - they want someone that is WAY below them. Maybe employes need to give their potential bosses a personality test!. If you are in snake pit and not appreciated or valued - get out of there. DO NOT allow your boss to make you feel 'less than' if you are good at your job. Find a job where the boss appreciates you and understands the value of a good employee. Ever notice government jobs are like this?? THe most incompetent people become the bosses.
I quit my last job pretty recently due to harassment. I couldn't put a title on it (I called it intellectual differences?). I worked very honestly, morally, professionally , and I was over productive and I lumped all that under intellectual differences for lack of a better term. Regardless, I did a quick search on laws pertaining to work place bullying and neither seems to fall under any of the protected characteristics that the law is protecting. So does that mean bullying due to hard work and ethical differences aren't protected by law?
I looked it up too. You’d think by 2024 with touting rights and equality right? But no they actually are legally able to get away with loads of unjust treatment. Basically if theres no evidence or anyone to check them, plus cross generational nepotism or favoritism then it’s free game😢
Please can you talk about a boss on the spectrum. I used to think they were narcissistic but they were nice, it’s weird I found she constantly undermined me and probably hates me because I’m NT and she only hires and promotes ASDs then gaslights me about my communication skills which other managers have praised so well. Sometimes I catch her biting her jaw at me for asking how her lunch was LOL It’s so sickening and weird.
I guarantee she isn’t in the wrong. You seem like one of those employees who try to be more important than you really are and get on people’s nerves because you can’t get their attention in a positive way to so you do and ask irrelevant shxt to get a rise out of people.
An insecure boss is the lowest snake in the pit. How the hell did thy get to be the boss is the question and How did they get and keep their joBS??? Play the games, do as little e as possible and look for something else if the snakes don't appreciate you
There always using you to make money for them you should all say things like hey I wont show up for main event and everybody bought tickets to watch both of you !! Tell them I wont show your making a million off of us. !! PAY US HALF AND if they don't just dont even show up
Create barriers to your bosses success, plant seeds of deception, reflect everything they say when they confront you, document everything, record every conversation, catch them two-facing, show recordings to colleagues, save recording on separate hard drives, deny everything, play dumb, do less work sometimes, do more sometimes. Create chaos, if they are watching you all the time, make jokes when they’re around about stalkers. Remind them that your the one in control of your life. Build respect with your colleagues. Find the lackeys, discover their thumb screw, instigate, poison the well. DENY EVERYTHING. “I’m just a stupid employee who can’t do anything right, remember?” Hit them where it hurts, their bonus, blame their lackeys. Everyone will tell you get out, go somewhere else, but you will encounter this personality time and time again. Best to keep your enemy at arms length for now, until you understand them well enough to pick them out of a crowd. Learn everything you can where your at now so that when you do choose to leave on your own accord (because they’ve smeared you around the office to the point that you’ll never move up there anyways) your better prepared for the next time you encounter this beast.
If there making 10 million off you you and the guy all 3 of you should get 3 million they always wanna try to pay 500 thousand and pocket 9million 500 thousand
This is such an accurate story for an insecure narcissistic boss that I had. He piled on stupid worthless busy work on me, but also had me write technical presentations and technical reports for him so he could present them to his bosses. I saw how messed up that situation was I became so exhausted from this game that i wrote in his name on the cover pages instead of my own. He kept the high visibility project to himself, but he really struggled with them because he didn't want to admit that he was disorganized. I also had alot more credentials under my belt than he did, and he did every thing he could to down play that fact.
I got into this role of being under him because I was hired under a different manager, and then that manager was promoted, and then there was some department re-structuring caused by that promotion, and I was placed under this guy.
Once I figured out that he was gaslighting me and undermining me, and I gained my confidence back, the only functional solution was to leave the company. He was scared and had to hold back tears when I left. But he knew he was being a douchebag the entire time. Im not there to write his technical reports any more. Such hypocrisy. Its best to recognize these types as soon as possible and create a strategy to deal with them.
I have a boss like that. Usually I censor myself because if she finds out that I achieved something she's incredibly jealous and vindictive.
Same and now that she's pregrant shes a million times worse
I just quit my job yesterday bc of this
1. Micromanaged 2. Continual criticism 3. Keeps office door open and "reminds me repeatedly" of my shortcomings in earshot of coworkers 4. Doesn't look me in the eye when I speak 5. Shoots down all of my ideas (while others say they are great) 6. Keeps information from me 7. Wants to be copied on all emails that I send out. 8. Prepare cumbersome reports that he can use to spotlight his achievements.9. Tries to make me look incompetent in front of his boss. However, boss' boss used to be my boss and knows what I do and likes me. Thanks to his open door policy, we've met twice to talk about my boss.
Experiencing what you had right now. Had it previously too.
Spot on!
I recently encountered this exact situation in my first permanent FT career role. I pulled off a successful event we hosted with Margaret Atwood, which I prepared for all on my own, and many other achievements. Months of hard work and occasional praise only to be brutally sabotaged at my PR. I'd suspected beforehand, but it was around this point that I truly understood my boss was acting out of insecurity and narcissism due to feeling threatened as they were nearing the end of their career, and I was the bright young thing on the come up. I quickly went out and secured a new job and better career opportunity, and so far it's been great!
Very true. They also bully by proxy. They use others to do it then pretend to be impartial or blatantly side with the bullies. They smile in your face and pretend to “have your back” then do everything behind the scenes to make sure you never grow.
I used to have a boss who would never let me start my own projects even when the higher management approved it would be great for their business. He would overload me with paperwork and all the boring stuff that was out there. Every time I presented something new to him he would say “that’s very nice of you, but we don’t need this atm”. One day I just stopped discussing my projects with him and went directly to his manager (the head of our department) and he gave me the approval for my new projects and let my boss know that I will work on them regardless. Later my boss started s-talking me and how badly I performed on the regular tasks and started lashing out at me almost every day. At some point it just got too much and I left. A year later I was earning more than him having non-managing position while he stayed at the same place doing small projects he used to overload me with.
Absolutely 100% right! The worst part is they promote incompetent people to equalise you and even worse above you in the hierarchy to push you out. I had a manager who hired a team of incompetent people and told me at the end of the first year “ I am not a fan of star performers. I want the whole team to do well“. How can the team of incompetent people he hired himself ever do well. He went to Wharton school and that’s what he learnt there. I left. But the irony is 95% of financial industry is like this.
Omggg my ex boss was from Wharton too and she was a terrible manager.
This!!!
You list soo many reasons why no one wants to go back to the office. The office sucks and the people running it are pants on head nutty.
They take credit for your work, they even micromanage you hoping you will slip up so they can use that against you, or they give you the undesirable jobs. They see you as a threat so will keep you down. Same for co-workers, they may see you as a threat to their chances of promotion. As explain in your other videos, being friends with co workers is a sheer exception, not the rule, and anyone who thinks you can make friends at work is quite naive, as I know from experience they will throw you under the bus to save their own skin or to get promoted.
I promoted myself early retirement financial literacy is key . I am the CEO of my life .
@@sondersrn8061how did you do that ?
OMFG, This was my supervisor and His Boss back in 2019-2020 ALL OF IT... Had I not gotten laid off because of COVID with a Huge Severance package thanks to HR, they would've found any excuse to try and fire me, they were indeed that bad. The looks on their faces as I walked out on that last day while I'm beaming ear to ear, PRICELESS *Chef's Kiss* ...and then later found out from coworkers still there that their department offices got cut and my Supervisor's boss got fired for harassment 🤣
Ugh....THIS right here happens ALL THE TIME. Every last one!
Waaay too much.
The first half of the video is exactly what's happening in my work life right now. Your boss won't even let you be through IJPs coz of their insecurity. Awesome video 👏
7:34 I got stuck with the "busy work" given Im the youngest in my office by 20 years and don't fit the "bro mold". Thankfully technology can really eliminate nonsense.
1) Speech to text apps
2) Google app scripts to autofill and generate documents
3) Organized cloud storage with extensive records so you can reuse past work
Ended up leveraging the deliberate pile on to take over all admin tasks. Then moved on to my actual role. Now Im harder to replace because Im the only one in the facility who knows how to do the admin work.
Also I got really lucky. They handed off the nightmare job of parsing financial data that's 95% of our funding. It use to be done by hand and take weeks. I wrote a script that does it in 5 seconds and that connected me with my boss's boss's boss.
I love how you flipped this to become indispensable!
LOL!!!! That is hilarious actually. They set themselves up.
Your energy, insight and ability to find solutions will allow you to go far. All the best!
@gavins9846 many of them do. They get so consumed with trying to make you look bad and eventually slip by handing you an opportunity that gets you noticed 😅😅
I just work for the paycheck ..nothing else
Sis, you better than that... Dig deeper, you'll find that you love the work❤
100%, been there. Can you make a video about being left out in a team? This is kinda related.
Ooooh yes this is a good topic i just added it to my list!
Oh ostracism? Better just start looking for a new job. Once you’re ostracized, you’re pretty much done.
Was this made into a video? I'm sorry, so many vids, hard to find. 😅
So much of what you have discussed in this video describes my own personal experiences to a T. Thankfuly I have moved on now and have a different manager but I have had first hand experience of each and every point you have reaised here. Most definitely the darkest period of my career. Great upload - Subscribed!
Yep I have been at my current company going on 11 years and I have SEEN it all. CoWorkers who worked on my team who were jealous and competitive. Weird performance reviews and everything. I had Boss give me a bad review which was strange because I had been with the company 4 years at the time and never had any bad reviews. I was disappointed, six months later it's review time and he told me my work was amazing. His body language seemed fake. Mind you I didn't make any major changes to my performance. I think he intended to try to get me to quit the job because he was now leading a new team and my old manager left. A mess!
Had a boss remove me as SME from a project, after I had set up everything to deliver his original goals of automating a task in full based on requests and approvals. Only to give the project to someone else, that person didn't only not deliver on the project goals, but lead to her having to hire people just to be able to continue after the project. A year later she quit with a shitty project still not completed.
That's how it is.
Last point really hits for me. I'm also thinking my boss might be sandbagging my efforts to get into a different area of the company.
What are your thoughts on a boss that manages through "her" fear of losing her job? She's not mean, but she's not competent and doesn't appear to want to understand enough of what her team does to lead them. It's clear she is very afraid of her leaders, so she will randomly ask for updates. But she seems to only do it when she is being pressured to. We only know that she's off when she just happens to mention it in a meeting. Or you will sign in to work and her out of office is on in our chat room. As for the work, I provide updates to her along the way, but she doesn't seem to care. Then all of a sudden she cares and starts asking for updates because someone might ask. I hope that makes sense. She seems deathly afraid of losing her job, but she isn't taking any action to improve her engagement. Seems burned out also. But she will throw you under the bus if she has to.
I've had a manager like this. Some people just aren't cut out to lead and have accountability
I had a manager like this … would only get engaged when her boss would ask her for an update. It caught up to her when she suddenly needed an update when I was out sick. She frantically sent me text after text begging for information… but I was in the ER. She learned to be ‘better engaged’ from that point on.
I have seen a lot of coworkers like that.
Currently dealing with this in regards to daily updates and then she doesn’t even show up to sit down to meet with me. When I email updates, she contacts me later or the following day and asks a million questions. I’ve only been on the job for 1 month and I work in HR. She’s and executive director, so I’m not under her chain of command like that.
This describes my current manager. He doesn't understand the work so he thinks he can boil everything down to a spreadsheet he can make it work. Every problem has one right answer and a whole bunch of wrong ones. 😖 He loooves paperwork.
Hey Jen, please talk about the Empath employee vs. the Sociopath Manager.
Ohhh that's a spicy topic. Over the last few years I've been diving into the empath/narcissist dynamic. The more I get into the more complex I see it. Surface level: strife with abuse. Deeper level: a lot of folks claiming to be empaths are either trauma responding or... Are narcissists. So I'm plotting this one with care because a) harm reduction, I need to word everything right, and b) I'm finding more questions than making my mind up on anything 💜
That’s a good one. I’m an empath and the narcissist seem to flock to me in workplaces.
Good Morning 🌞 Jennifer - I always use a performance review as a chance to constructively rebut what is in there that I view as inaccurate. I make sure I am on the record as well. Have a Great Day 😃
Thanks for hanging, David!
That does not always work. My bosses told me I was a liar despite evidence to the contrary. They got angry when I recorded their conversations and posted them to TH-cam. Now no one wants to work there anymore.
Yep, I am living this at my job right now. My boss *and* his boss are using all of these tactics. I will find a new job and leave as soon as I possibly can.
You hit the nail on the head!!!!!
NEVER let a bad boss dull your sparkle. Find a boss that appreciates you and let them know why you are leaving. Eventually they will get the message- until then go where you are valued. And some of these snakes are so good at manipulating. It's their issues - don't let their issues become yours. NOw if you are a bad lazy employee- you deserve it - but if you are doing a good job and a solid employee - go where you are valued
I almost choked on my coffee when you gave the boss quotes. 😲 I lived that far too long. I have heard through 🍇 that he is leaving already. Eight months after me.
Okay, I did choke on the Chad boss quotes. No more coffee on your channel for me... 😁
Sorry... I need to put like 'don't sip your beverage right now' warnings 🤣
Not sure if undermining or maybe a new video idea but.. I was asked to sit with a trainer who was prepping to teach a class and show her how it works. I pointed out a flaw in one workflow and showed her my recent research about what it should be. She said "we will both bring this to a workgroup and I'll invite you". A few weeks later an email goes out about the update. The trainer took my work as her own to the group and I had a paper trail. Sent it to my boss and expressed that I was upset etc. She said she would look into it. Nothing ever happened.
DUde.. its like you looked at my work place. Like letter for letter...
Sorry you're dealing with this.
@@JenniferBrick God grace I shall not be bound!
most untalented bosses are as you say narcissist that is why they are boss and are to threatened or stupid to use you, they just want you gone any way they can.
Yesterday I was told by my boss's boss that my boss is intimidated by me. My first thought was, "Oh no. This isn't good."
You have to know what to do in order to tell me what to do💯%fact if you don’t know then you shouldn’t be a manager💯
Bingooooo 🎯🎯🎯
Insisting that you work for an extra two weeks beyond your contract when they hear you have a new job lined up is a pretty good sign.
My narcissist ex-boss was absolutely threatened by me. The CEO would sing my praises which aggravated the f**k out of him. It was evident my work was changing the success of the business. He couldn’t take credit. He went to sabotage. That didn’t work either 😂. He tried to fire me during the pandemic. I had to WFH because I have an autoimmune disease. I think he walked that back because the CEO wanted me and it would have resulted in a lawsuit. I’m so glad I fled that place!
I'd love for you to make a video of how to overcome a boss not promoting you. I have been employed with the same company for nearly 8 years and have watched people walk right by and get promoted. If I try to quit they offer me more money and even gave me a fake job title but I'm still doing the same thing I was hired on to do. I'm planning my exit strategy (it's the only thing I can think of at this point).
I made a video a few months ago on this! In fact, I think it's the one I linked at the end of this video because it's something that needs to be dug into.
Mine is a weird combo. My boss has said I’m a high performer, she’s told her boss and he’s given me praise. I also know that she’s a low-confidence, threatened boss. The VP has asked her about providing subordinates with opportunities for advancement and she told the VP that our team isn’t set up that way. But, although I don’t completely expect a promotion, for going out of my wheelhouse and above and beyond what I was hired to do, she just hired other people, they have the same title and they either do none of what I do or I have to train them. But, I think it’s also because she’s not a competitive person much and she sees the team as more of a Girl Scout troop, than individuals trying to get ahead in life, although our getting ahead is not her responsibility.
Because of things being the way they are and because the job pays well and is a decent commute, with some WFH time, I’m sticking it out, particularly since I’m in my late 50s now. But, I’ve handled my absolute irritation with this by starting to work on newer, higher skills of what I do, even if it merely turns out to be a hobby that makes a lil cash on the side. But, I can tell you that, I’ve never been happy with people who are fine, as long as today is the same as 5 years ago. It is stagnant and stagnating.
Haha I had the worst devil boss. So I resigned. Now I'm stressed free
My boss realized I was brilliant when I gave my two weeks notice.
This is exactly what am facing. But He can't be removed because his father is a childhood friend to the CEO.
My line Manager in HQ has tried and remains on my side. But she can do nothing based on her position.
So am leaving this year. I am just reducing contact with him till l leave.
Thanks for this confirmation.
Thank you for the video😽 (last 2 thing very hard)
specially when its too much of micromanagement... oh God I still can't get over the trauma of negative bias and constructive nepotism. my manager and my boss both sucked at management and they hav total disregard for human resource.
I left school.... bt I'M never quiting teaching.
they can't take my purpose away from me. LOL😂😂
Current situation and I didn't get paid this week
Huge video, subbed
Pats on the back are much rarer than they ised to be.
Law Number 1: Never Outshine the Master
Most of the rules in 48 laws of power worked well back when kings and queens were still a thing, but in our society now a days the rules don’t work quite as well. Some work though.
@@masonshaler977 it’s human nature .. greene explains this, bosses are the modern day version of kings and queens
I can’t help it
@@stever507 And you shouldn't even try to help it.
Now type the Reversal.
Thank you Jennifer.
OMG...you NAILED IT!!!!!!
The first item on this list certainly reminds me of my boss. I don't even know why she is even a manager, she has been a manager for a year. Speaks out often about actively disliking the company. I've been on the team for longer and really stepped up my game, and pick up a lot of the secondary task people forget about along with carrying the teams to our KPI's the last time, I took vacation we ended up with a number regulatory tasks that have to been done missed because no one was in charge and making sure everything got coved. My reward for that is nothing not a thank you or anything. Then in my midyear review, she gives me some story about how she does apricate everything I do, yet never gives me any commendations that get viewed by my fellow managers and department heads, so worthless praise and has the nerves to then say I'm only meeting expectations in my job role. So wouldn't even go to bat for the person who makes her job easy in front of her peers.
Her reason for me only meeting expectations is while I've stepped up a lot, I've only been doing so the last three months, forgetting she purposely delayed me getting on development courses at work while she took two months off sick. I'm only visible now to the department heads because I've made my own opportunity regardless. She is in reality a terrible boss in that respect stumping growth.
My soon-to-be-former boss is a smearer and a scape-goater.
Wow! This is soooo onpoint!
This was situation at My last job. So glad I’m out of this toxic environment.
Its sad because most of us, will unfortunately quit the job because the anxiety/stress feom " that said boss" makes it not worth it! Jealousy is what it comes down to!! Nothing you did wrong its sad situation 😢 but walking away and having q better mental state is better than enduring the jealousy and hatefulness of the boss . Gl❤
THIS explains why the incompetent people become bosses and get promotions. The losers climb higher - unless it's a private company. They value and KNOW the value of good employees. Go there!
I just sat in a presentation today on what my team is doing (marketing). But there’s one hitch…this was my campaign which included 80-90% of my work with the remaining being contributed by the team (mostly cuz they own the channel).
I was shocked I never got a shout out but my supervisor was quick to take the glory and in private said “thanks team.”
I like my colleagues but they didn’t get the results. I did.
What’s worse, I feel guilty for even being childish and greedy with that. But when people only need to copy and paste into an email or simply show up…it’s kind of crappy.
Been through this,
Man I watched this too late. Thank you ❤
Hy planning happy hour at work would be the BEST bogus assignment - I'd RUN with it, creating food trips to VEGAS etc !!!!🤩🤩🤩
omg, my mouth dropped open at the burying you in busywork and reducing to note taker, (I'm an admin role, so they made minuting of meetings my sole job.) The very thing that exacerbates my work injury. God help me.
Powerful wisdom and knowledge! So much truth spoken!
omg that is exactly what I am living. It's a nightmare!
Great analysis.
Oh my God. This is exactly my boss. Do you know what to do? Is this a good idea to discuss with my boss's boss?
DAMN. All 7 ✅
SPOT ON!!!
Mu Boss didn't like me, I got fired 3 weeks ago
I tried everything to please him, be kind and asked what he wanted.
I guess it wasn't enough, as he turned everybody against me
I was trained at Jimmy John's, bro! Freaky Fast and Flawless is the motto, let me work, dang it >:( I don't need to be a salaried slave, keep your title, let me help you do stuff! Sheesh!! (Thank you, I'm just venting)
I literally ran out of work and have asked for more but there hasn’t been a meeting about it yet. Plus team is avoiding me. I do all my work correctly so just am confused
Jen, last week, I came across your videos…I love your content!
I have to continuously clean up the mess he creates. Am not the only one talking.
He is known as he has been in 3 regions, but because of the politics.
There can't be a change.
I’ve never understood this. If I train someone and they do really well then their success is also my success. It means I did well too.
That said, there are managers that I work under (directly & indirectly) that are like this. They keep crucial info to themselves, micromanage to the extreme, undermine and keep you “in your place” to make themselves look better. Sometimes they will give kudos, but it’s just as often a nasty email or comment and is about as predictable as flipping a coin. Everything depends on their mood that day and they change their mind more often than Shania Twain.
EERY BOSS HAS A BOSS - find out who it is if you get a bad one. Sometimes the higher they are the worse they are - but never sell your soul if you are at a job like that. If the boss's boss isn't willing to step in - you step out. And tell them on the way out
I have a personal relationship like this (who wants to be a/the boss but has the emotional intelligence of a teaspoon).
Definitely true.
The question is how to deal with such situation
Spot on
OMG this is so true. How do these types of people get to be the boss?? How does that happen? When I am in a boss position you understand good employees make YOU look good. UNLESS you are an idiot then it threatens your personal issues. Once again - how do they get to be bosses?? AND WOMEN can be the worst when threatened by another confident woman. I think getting to know who your boss will be - is crucial to see if they will value you. And bosses that are personally inept - look elsewhere - they want someone that is WAY below them. Maybe employes need to give their potential bosses a personality test!. If you are in snake pit and not appreciated or valued - get out of there. DO NOT allow your boss to make you feel 'less than' if you are good at your job. Find a job where the boss appreciates you and understands the value of a good employee. Ever notice government jobs are like this?? THe most incompetent people become the bosses.
I was fired for this and it called quite firing I was fired for talking and having a general conversation with a residents family member outside work
As a carer and someone who is hardworking I faced so many toxic management who do not appreciate their staff who work brilliant.
never outshine the master..
I quit my last job pretty recently due to harassment. I couldn't put a title on it (I called it intellectual differences?). I worked very honestly, morally, professionally , and I was over productive and I lumped all that under intellectual differences for lack of a better term. Regardless, I did a quick search on laws pertaining to work place bullying and neither seems to fall under any of the protected characteristics that the law is protecting.
So does that mean bullying due to hard work and ethical differences aren't protected by law?
I looked it up too. You’d think by 2024 with touting rights and equality right? But no they actually are legally able to get away with loads of unjust treatment. Basically if theres no evidence or anyone to check them, plus cross generational nepotism or favoritism then it’s free game😢
Please can you talk about a boss on the spectrum. I used to think they were narcissistic but they were nice, it’s weird I found she constantly undermined me and probably hates me because I’m NT and she only hires and promotes ASDs then gaslights me about my communication skills which other managers have praised so well. Sometimes I catch her biting her jaw at me for asking how her lunch was LOL It’s so sickening and weird.
I guarantee she isn’t in the wrong. You seem like one of those employees who try to be more important than you really are and get on people’s nerves because you can’t get their attention in a positive way to so you do and ask irrelevant shxt to get a rise out of people.
lol the whole video i was just listening like “mhmmm”
What the solution?
Quit. They never wake up until they’re fired for underperforming. That won’t happen until you leave bc they’ve been stealing credit for your work
Exactly more and more of us Gen Zs are tryna get outta the 9 to 5.
OMG so true
you’re so funny 😂
Same as my situation.
An insecure boss is the lowest snake in the pit. How the hell did thy get to be the boss is the question and How did they get and keep their joBS??? Play the games, do as little e as possible and look for something else if the snakes don't appreciate you
There always using you to make money for them you should all say things like hey I wont show up for main event and everybody bought tickets to watch both of you !! Tell them I wont show your making a million off of us. !! PAY US HALF AND if they don't just dont even show up
Create barriers to your bosses success, plant seeds of deception, reflect everything they say when they confront you, document everything, record every conversation, catch them two-facing, show recordings to colleagues, save recording on separate hard drives, deny everything, play dumb, do less work sometimes, do more sometimes. Create chaos, if they are watching you all the time, make jokes when they’re around about stalkers. Remind them that your the one in control of your life. Build respect with your colleagues. Find the lackeys, discover their thumb screw, instigate, poison the well. DENY EVERYTHING. “I’m just a stupid employee who can’t do anything right, remember?” Hit them where it hurts, their bonus, blame their lackeys. Everyone will tell you get out, go somewhere else, but you will encounter this personality time and time again. Best to keep your enemy at arms length for now, until you understand them well enough to pick them out of a crowd. Learn everything you can where your at now so that when you do choose to leave on your own accord (because they’ve smeared you around the office to the point that you’ll never move up there anyways) your better prepared for the next time you encounter this beast.
If there making 10 million off you you and the guy all 3 of you should get 3 million they always wanna try to pay 500 thousand and pocket 9million 500 thousand
These are stupid things.
At the end nothing they got....
I don't care.
Focus on work not with others.
Contribution and collaboration matters.