I learned in two ways how breaking a promise can affect a person. There was Alex Haley in the Miniseries Roots The Next Generations who forgot to go to his Children's Xmas Pageant, who was living in New York because he was working and lost track of time, it was the 1950's and on Xmas Day his Wife Nancy aka "Nan" left him and he begged her not to go but she was fed up with him. Can you imagine how heartbreaking it was to be alone on Xmas Day and not being able to go home to be with Family in Tennessee. My Uncle did that with My Grandfather, he broke a Promise and he didn't do it, and My Grandfather was so disgusted and angry about how he got away with things in life. Their relationship was so bad that even on Xmas Day their conversation was hostile. My Grandfather was beyond fed up with him. In my opinion, they don't forget, they don't want to remember, they are too ashamed and embarrassed to know that they didn't keep a promise and they can't face you. You are furious at them, and they know that you are, but if you call them on it, you'll make them feel worse than they already do.
Can you blame them in a super stimulated everyday world where most people don't know personal space? Most of us just want people out of our faces sometimes it's tiring. The only promises that matter are promises you make to yourself.
We all have NOT kept a promise at some point it doesn’t mean we’re bad people or we did it maliciously. People of integrity and communicate when they fail to do what they said they were going to do. I can give a person grace and mercy once maybe twice ,but after that it’s a pattern. Now I do NOT trust the person and they have my full unfortunately negative attention. And especially the kind of people who DONT communicate why they couldn’t keep their promises. I consider myself to have a great intuition and a data collector. I gather information about a persons actions NOT their words and then I make a final conclusion and I RARELY seldom go backwards once I make that decision. People who don’t constantly keep their word once I put them in I need to break this thing off whatever it is and NOT trust you, I’m DONE,! Letting a person go is not the most difficult, it is the decision to let go.
@@cameliavargas3697 *rolled on phone in sleep* ...never found out. Imagine who you've texted the same way... and what you wrote? Hope you don't have predictive text turned on lol 😨😅
Most people, sadly in this day and age, are too lazy and too selfish to keep their Promises. Being a person of word requires selflessness, and unfortunately most people are selfish.
That's not going to help you. A, look up Kevin Hines. He jumped off a bridge and lived (it happens about once a year, actually. Twice a month, people jump). The doc is The Bridge. His first thought was regret at having jumped. So, don't do that. Find someone to help. Thats the answer. You could just become an alcoholic, but that's a very tough row to hoe (10 years sober). And there's a chance you might LIVE, which is really painful.
+desabat Step 1: Apologize. A sincere apology. Try not to focus on the reasons the promise was broken (they will be seen as excuses sometimes even if they are legitimate reasons). Not many people these days will say "I am so sorry. I messed up and this is my fault." Step 2: Make a new promise. Make this promise more actionable, plan more for it, even scale it down if your first promise was too big. Mark time in your calendar to fulfill the promise. Show the person that you have taken steps to plan for this new promise. Most people appreciate that. I hope that helps a little!
"because I said I would" had a good response on your duty to the other party but it is important to also look at what is going on within yourself. Ask someone to facilitate an accountability process by asking you these questions. 1. What was the agreement? 2. What did you choose to do instead? 3. What was the story you told yourself in order to do this? 4. Is that a pattern for you? In what other areas of your life does this story show up? 5. What's the shadow behind that? (negative self-talk) 6. What is something that you can do today or tomorrow that is in the opposite direction of the energy of the shadow? What do you need to do to get back into accountability with yourself and/or others? 7. Who can you rely on to keep you accountable to that? Celebrate when you do fulfill that small step, and plan the next step with your accountability partner.
This is what my mom always told me don't make a promise u can't keep
I just watched this twice. Back to back.
I learned in two ways how breaking a promise can affect a person. There was Alex Haley in the Miniseries Roots The Next Generations who forgot to go to his Children's Xmas Pageant, who was living in New York because he was working and lost track of time, it was the 1950's and on Xmas Day his Wife Nancy aka "Nan" left him and he begged her not to go but she was fed up with him. Can you imagine how heartbreaking it was to be alone on Xmas Day and not being able to go home to be with Family in Tennessee. My Uncle did that with My Grandfather, he broke a Promise and he didn't do it, and My Grandfather was so disgusted and angry about how he got away with things in life. Their relationship was so bad that even on Xmas Day their conversation was hostile. My Grandfather was beyond fed up with him. In my opinion, they don't forget, they don't want to remember, they are too ashamed and embarrassed to know that they didn't keep a promise and they can't face you. You are furious at them, and they know that you are, but if you call them on it, you'll make them feel worse than they already do.
People lack integrity & dont mean what they say. Period.
Can you blame them in a super stimulated everyday world where most people don't know personal space? Most of us just want people out of our faces sometimes it's tiring. The only promises that matter are promises you make to yourself.
We all have NOT kept a promise at some point it doesn’t mean we’re bad people or we did it maliciously. People of integrity and communicate when they fail to do what they said they were going to do.
I can give a person grace and mercy once maybe twice ,but after that it’s a pattern. Now I do NOT
trust the person and they have my full unfortunately negative attention. And especially the kind of people who DONT communicate why they couldn’t keep their promises.
I consider myself to have a great intuition and a data collector. I gather information about a persons actions NOT their words and then I make a final conclusion and I RARELY seldom go backwards once I make that decision.
People who don’t constantly keep their word once I put them in I need to break this thing off whatever it is and NOT trust you, I’m DONE,!
Letting a person go is not the most difficult, it is the decision to let go.
I hâte when people make promises to me and dont deliver them
Olivier Joseph same here
i try not to break promises - i keep my word, but others have upset me by not keeping their word. How do i heal from this?
Let a mans word be his truth. If he needs to make a promise, he lies.
its really disappointing why some dont keep their promises, maybe thats why the motto, promises are meant to broken, was created
Good TED talk.
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@@cameliavargas3697 *rolled on phone in sleep* ...never found out.
Imagine who you've texted the same way... and what you wrote? Hope you don't have predictive text turned on lol 😨😅
Just got to the pumping viruses part. That joke didn't age well lol.
Amazing lecture
Who googled an image of a nickel to see if they were right?
Most people, sadly in this day and age, are too lazy and too selfish to keep their Promises. Being a person of word requires selflessness, and unfortunately most people are selfish.
Why does this have such a bad video quality? Currently only 360p is available?
MeetMeViceVersa Great question! The event was filmed at a TV studio so you would think it would have higher resolution.
+Because I said I would Because they suck at keeping promises
I just lost a friend for good.
I promised I'd never take my own life and I'm sorry to my best friend who I had made that promise to I wish I didn't make that promise.
That's not going to help you.
A, look up Kevin Hines. He jumped off a bridge and lived (it happens about once a year, actually. Twice a month, people jump). The doc is The Bridge.
His first thought was regret at having jumped. So, don't do that.
Find someone to help. Thats the answer.
You could just become an alcoholic, but that's a very tough row to hoe (10 years sober). And there's a chance you might LIVE, which is really painful.
@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 im 4 years sober.
So what would you do if you break a promise even if you had the best intentions in mind when you made it?
+desabat Step 1: Apologize. A sincere apology. Try not to focus on the reasons the promise was broken (they will be seen as excuses sometimes even if they are legitimate reasons). Not many people these days will say "I am so sorry. I messed up and this is my fault." Step 2: Make a new promise. Make this promise more actionable, plan more for it, even scale it down if your first promise was too big. Mark time in your calendar to fulfill the promise. Show the person that you have taken steps to plan for this new promise. Most people appreciate that. I hope that helps a little!
"because I said I would" had a good response on your duty to the other party but it is important to also look at what is going on within yourself. Ask someone to facilitate an accountability process by asking you these questions.
1. What was the agreement?
2. What did you choose to do instead?
3. What was the story you told yourself in order to do this?
4. Is that a pattern for you? In what other areas of your life does this story show up?
5. What's the shadow behind that? (negative self-talk)
6. What is something that you can do today or tomorrow that is in the opposite direction of the energy of the shadow? What do you need to do to get back into accountability with yourself and/or others?
7. Who can you rely on to keep you accountable to that? Celebrate when you do fulfill that small step, and plan the next step with your accountability partner.
Simple..make it right
Stop making them
Ive had people promise me things bot furfillit
Can’t promise anything then