Interesting video. I noticed when I first started dating my husband, he was very absorbed in his work and we had lots of arguments about it. But now, he was able to adjust and doesn't prioritize his work as much. I told him "only your family will care if you die, your workplace will just replace you". I think he eventually realized what was more important in the grand scheme of things. But then again, I wouldn't say my husband is typical since he studied and lived in Canada for 5 years. So I guess one has to have exposure outside Japan to be more open minded.
Wow someone else thinks exactly like me. I tell my partner (not Japanese) that you can get another job but you can't get another life if god forbid something should happen to you.
Hopefully you both were very thankful for the sacrifices these men made for you, to afford the lifestyle that you enjoy, to ensure that you never go without food, and that you have the beautiful things that you enjoy. Instead of complaining about it, how about you say thank you
As a Japanese major and former student in Japan, I must say that this is the most self-reflective thing I’ve ever seen. It really matches my own perception. On the plus side, your video gives me hope that change can happen because people like you exist! Thank you so much! ❤
God says if my people that are call by my name will turn from their wicked ways and humble themselves and turn God He will heal their land. God is amazing. Son instead of Japanese can you teach them the Bible the world so everyone in Japan could be save and not go to Hell. Please help your country man be save from evil that has curse the land
This is why you have a lifetime subscriber. You tell the truth about japan and japanese people, most people want to paint Japan in the best light as possible, all the time
I’m Canadian living and working in Japan since 2011. I have felt compelled to tell everyone the truth about my real experiences in Japan which are predominantly ALL NEGATIVE IMO. I feel a responsibility to tell the truth. Hearing this Japanese man’s real thoughts, feelings and opinions on the truth about Japan is so rare , because I would go as far as saying most Japanese are either completely unaware or would never express their true feelings publicly.
Japanese culture, traditions and mindset are thousands of years in the making, and it worked very well for the country for the most part. Like other cultures, people didn't question it, it was simply the way of things, especially in such a homogeneous society unlike Europe today and especially America, land of the immigrant. The advent of the internet and streaming platforms, foreigners coming to Japan, Japanese growing up in other countries, the younger generations are more aware and a bit less satisfied with the old ways. Awareness and questioning are the beginning. Change will be slow but considering how the love of learning is deeply rooted in Japan, the eventual change in society will be interesting. In time it will happen in a uniquely Japanese way.
I hear this complaint from my Japanese friends who are girls… One was married and she said she felt like she was treated like a maid even though they were both working. There was little to no expression of appreciation because it was 当たり前 or expected. They inevitably got divorced.
I know that criticism is very looked down upon in japan, specially towards one's own so I think it's very cool that you're able to be so sincere and honest withput sugarcoating anything.
I agree. I really appreciate the information! It's so sad though, because as an American we can express ourselves freely and really live and appreciate life. Glad you are exploring the world and cultures and stepping out of that mold!
@topazzsky Its possible that expressing oneself freely could lead to happiness, but really, it's just a small part. Americans also have a real tendency to think only Americanism, that is - being VERY opinionated and much less thoughtful. The knife cuts both ways. This is not criticism, it's simply a note of caution to another very insular country.
@@topazzsky well Covid times showed how government and technocrats were getting a stronghold in changing that, but years previously, and in general comparison, I would tend to agree.
I'm an Italian lady married with a Japanese man. Our situation matches perfectly your description. I agree with all you said, people are so cold and I've got troubles with his family and so many cruel behaviours through the years. I subscribe your channel for sure! Thank you for having the guts to tell the truth and exposing the real Japan.
Well I guess the truth is in the middle. I was married to an Italian. It wasn't a great experience, also with his family, believe me. I would never say "this is the true Italy".
I’m half Japanese, but was born and raised in the US. I remember I over romanticized Japan and Japanese guys as a child and always wanted to marry one. I was very close to the japanese culture/side despite being in the US and would visit Japan almost every year. I would hear many good stories about Japan and the people so I was very proud and decided to move to Japan for high school back in 2011 and then to work. Sadly, I realized much of what I believed about this country and people were not right and after my last company I worked for, I fell into depression. I also dated a guy there and he was chaos 😂 I couldn’t tell if he was a narcissist or if it was just the culture lmaooo. But yeah, long story short, I feel very disappointed and the only reason I’m staying in Japan is because my family is living here. I’m 30 now and I do worry if I’ll ever be able to marry and have children lol. But yeah, thank you for making this video!
Well, IMO you're a really beautiful girl - the picture of yourself you have posted here is very pretty 😁). If I were you meet you in person I'd take a chance and ask you on a date. 😅😊 And you're gonna find a really lucky guy who will be blessed to have you in his life. I don't know you as a person of course but as long as you're generally well-rounded and open to trying new things you'll absolutely find someone you consider compatible with you 🙂
@@illuminocalypse5210 I don't have anything to do in this lil comment XDD but anyways I just wanna say thanks or saying nice things and give encouraging words to Rubyrose7858. It was wholesome to read 😊
I guess I am the opposite end. I am an American living in Japan. I am doing fine despite the work culture. When it comes to dating, I am not sure how I feel about Japanese woman. They are beautiful but the issue is I notice they double down on the charm to hide their true emotions. I had one close female friend who confessed to me that it’s all an act to make them more desirable. Yet, if a man falls in love with that false face, then he is falling in love with a lie. I am just trying to find a woman of good character and is genuinely kind. The issue is, I am finding a lot of people like the idea of kindness but will not be kind if it costs them anything in return. I am probably just a bit bias because I haven’t met anyone that challenges what I have seen so far.
I have same experience here in Japan. I have a Japanese colleague and we almost became closed friends. He was nice, but one day, when we were eating, we talked about high tax in Japan. Most people know that the population of old/retired Japanese is so high the number of younger working Japanese cannot compensate the cost of retired/old Japanese. Then I was so shocked when he suddenly said that “Why don’t those old people just die” to reduce the taxes. I felt he was serious in what he said, and I was stun, I didn’t know how to react. In my mind how can he said that! He has grandparents and parents who are old, right? 😢
He doesn't sound like a nice person, I live in England and we have a lot of elderly, i find it hard that people there would say such a thing about the elderly, you habe to help each other out and care for the elderly, if it was not for there sacrifice during the war we might not even alive now.
Dar e adevărat ca în tarile foarte dezvoltate bătrânii sunt multi și asta înseamnă multă muncă pt tineri care nu mai au timp pt viata lor privata. Trist dar adevărat.
I’m Canadian living and working in Japan since 2011. I have felt compelled to tell everyone the truth about my real experiences in Japan which are predominantly ALL NEGATIVE IMO. I feel a responsibility to tell the truth. Hearing this Japanese man’s real thoughts, feelings and opinions on the truth about Japan is so rare and freeing at the same time, because I would go as far as saying most Japanese are either completely unaware or would never express their true feelings publicly.
Japan is so bad that you continue live and work there since 2011? These are the worst type of foreigners..imagine a Japanese choosing to come to live in america and complaining that's it's not like japan.
I’m Japanese. And thank god I finally found the person who has a human heart. I was terrified when many people giving good button on X that saying bad words to the people who caused train delay by jumping and lost their lives. I totally agree with you. I’m also the person who feel sorry for them. Thank you for describing the truth of Japanese ppl.
I'm married to a Japanese man for 6 years and what changed his ways is for us to live in my home country (Philippines) and not Japan. I wasn't happy living there. I got depressed. He also got depression. Contrary to popular belief here, we are having it better here in the Philippines vs in Japan. We still go to Japan for vacations though.
@blureader1164 Not to discredit these women but a lot of times, they thought Japan elevates their quality of life. I admit I am fortunate that I live way comfortably here in the Philippines before marriage and some of the things are literally handed down to me from my parents (like real estate in a major city here so I don't pay rent or mortgage and vehicles) that enables me to jumpstart life as an adult pretty quickly.
@@blureader1164compared to America or Japan living in the Philippines or Thailand isn’t exactly the picture of luxury most foreigners are used to so I kinda understand why
Well idk about thai but the philippines is a third world country. Just having a decent job to support your family is hard to come by. Majority of immigrants that at least came from my country don't/can't go overseas because they want to, but out of necessity.
@@K-san788 That's true and I don't deny that fact. I acknowledge I am really very lucky here as a Filipino living a very comfortable life vs. the majority of my countrymen. I get it my upbringing is so sheltered and I do live in an upper middle class bubble here but these days, I just want to be where my comfort zone is.
I am a white (58) female from the U.S. and only dated Japanese men in my 20’s because I was so attracted to them. I lived in Japan from 23-26 years old in early 90’s. My very best relationship in my whole life was with a Japanese man. He was the opposite of all your traits listed and I was very aware that he was different. He gave me quality time and wanted only to be with me full time, we even worked together. I had to leave Japan however and sadly he passed away 10 years after I last saw him, I didn’t realize how short life could be. Honestly he was an angel on earth. My other boyfriends definitely fit a lot of the traits you describe here. I ended up having a baby before marriage with a boyfriend from Kawasaki and he left me during pregnancy. It was a rough 30 years thereafter but I do have a handsome and kind son from that mistake though. They didn’t have these warning videos when I was young and oblivious so thank you for the video for other girls. Also to anyone who loves Japanese men like I do, just make sure you’re with someone who doesn’t change. As a young blonde I had boyfriends that liked the idea of being with me because I was different but then they preferred a Japanese woman to marry. With that said, I wouldn’t change my life because even though I ended up being single, my heart was always with that one country man from Japan that loved a country girl from the U.S. for who I was. I will always love him so deeply. ❤️😇
Now that is the most heart-warming comment I've ever read. I think once you find that kind of love... no matter how hard you try... you can't find it twice in life. Can you fall in love? sure. Will it feel the same? no way. All my love for you
Some of what you said legitimately made me cry. I am in a happy relationship with my non-Japanese boyfriend and have been for 4 years. I can’t imagine what some of these women go through without support from your significant other. And the stuff about the train suicides…that’s just terrible. 💔 I do love Japan and its people but will not deny, as like other countries, that there are huge huge problems within the society. Taking your own life over WORK? Or school? Or even just in general…it’s just too sad. It’s funny that in Japan, “the nail that sticks out gets hammered down” but in America it’s the total opposite with “the squeaky wheel gets the grease”. Meaning if you don’t speak up for yourself, you’ll never get what you need.
I remember that I have seen an article a long time ago, I was about 18 or 19 about japanese women who said on herself that after 30 y o they're considered expired, like if they were just a piece of meat to consume...as a young girl of not even 20 I felt it like an insult for all women and it gave me anxiety I remember, like wow I don't have a lot of time to be attractive and find the right one...but as you say french people (I'm french) are okay with women after 30s and even 40s as long as you keep your body fit and age like fine wine 💚 Now I just don't care at all 😂 I feel just good in my mind and body 😌
I’ve a Japanese friend that was very Americanized, she disdain the Japanese culture and beliefs. She actually told me that women’s age is identified like Christmas cake. They buy and eat cake only on Christmas. But once the Christmas had passed, they’re considered expired and aged out to Japanese men.
The worst thing is the language has different politeness levels to be used depending on hierarchy including age. So it’s necessary to reveal your age to each other when you meet, and hence get labelled. One can’t even keep their age to themselves!
Its so ironic that they think of it as “expired” especially when there’s some people that look their best at 30. But i agree with your statement it’s a gross way for them to look at people. Maybe that ‘s why they’re having a fertility crisis because the way they treat women suck.
I’m an American and my husband is Japanese. We get along very well. We don’t have any problems we understand we are from different cultures and we explain what we see. It helps us.
Very articulate, impressive English communication! You’re a gem that’s been well polished! Thanks for the honest perspectives on your own people, most Japanese men would probably to proud to acknowledge and expressing that view of themselves!
I'm genuinly curious how you were able to develop this perspective on society while the others stayed in the bubble? What was different.. was it your family, did you lived abroad or are you just honest enough to tell what japanese society knows but ignores?
I lived in Canada for a year when I was 15 to study English. I also visited the UK for two months last year and met many wonderful people. That probably helped.
Thanks for your honest video my husband was Japanese I’m Irish my children live in Tokyo I live in Ireland I’m ashamed to say that my children’s attitude towards me is cold especially my son he has no concept of my life or existence outside of Japan I’m almost 80 years old and I know for sure if I passed away he would not come to my funeral when I visit Japan I’m treated like a casual visitor and when I leave there is no communication so my grandchildren never talk to me I miss them I always love Japan but knowing how the culture controls people and the very unhealthy attitude to work and family makes it impossible for me to live there for any period of time so because of my children’s attitude of their detached attitude I’ve decided that it’s better not to visit again I’m not respected and I feel sad to have lost all of my family at the time of divorce my husband had all the rights and I left for my home country penniless it was very hurtful and shameful I lived on the island of Okinawa and I met lovely people and I have very warm and loving memories of that time
What a shame! I saw a very sad video of an Australian woman, whose Japanese husband divorced her and didn’t allow her access to her children. I lived in Japan for 11 years, and when I went back again last year after Covid, I’m starting to feel like a visitor as well, but your case is more unfortunate!
I love Japanese culture and I'm learning Japanese as well... I'm intermediate leve" N3 " and I can really confirm what you've said... I've talked to many Japanese people and they're basically exactly what you've described.. No exaggeration or anything like that but dude you showed the true dark side of Japanese culture as a Japanese person hats off.. You're legend and very brave person to get the courage to have this critical opinion of you about Japan. And I'm totally aware of everything that you've mentioned that's why I'm keeping it to getting to know the culture and be fulent in Japanese because I just adore it ☺️🤍🥰 チュニジア人です🇹🇳☺️ よろしくお願いします。
Thank you for this. I did romanticize what life would be like in Japan. As an American woman, I would indeed struggle with each and every point you made. For example, I work in an elementary school and we teach and encourage individuality and to question the world around you. We promote being unique and out of the box thinking. Thinking and doing what others do just for the sake of it would be against my very nature.
This is a very self-aware video and I appreciate that you do have your own opinions. I have been that standing out nail that gets hammered down, but in a small town in America. I had a Japanese friend for years. He claimed he wasn't materialistic, but then I saw him get very excited talking to rich people. So, one day I said that I wasn't making as much money as I used to, just to see what his response would be. He instantly seemed to become a different person. He acted like he really needed to talk to his "richer" friends. My actual income had not changed, but my view of him did. I realized he was picking friends based on ambition and opportunity only. Not real connections. It made me sad, but I learned what it means when people say Japanese people wear a mask.
And this is not to say that all Japanese people are like this, of course. There are still many kind Japanese people, and most are polite. Some do conceal deeper feelings and hidden agendas, though, and they can keep secrets very well.
Everything you say is absolutely truth, as an American woman working for a Japanese company in the states, I came across every point mentioned here. I was constantly in in conflicts 🙄
As a very very old person myself 74yrs Ha!ha! I love your honesty.You have wisdom beyond your years.I worked for 22 yrs caring for the elderly here in the UK,it was my work but I loved it.May more of your people gain enlightenment and find their own self worth as you have.
I am sure that you will feel awesome and that you will be very well taken care of because you cared for the elderly at a young age. When you are good to the world, good gets back to you in the best possible ways.
I came to Japan this spring, and before coming, dating a Japanese guy or anything never crossed my mind and I didn't know anything about them anyway. I just came to study and that was all. But after I arrived, I found Japanese men very physically attractive lol. I have a crush on dozens of them every day 😅 I didn't deal with any of them outside the classroom, but I think I know enough to make me determined never to be with a Japanese guy. The cheating thing is the worst and I can never accept it. I know not everyone is like that, but when something is common, I always ask myself: how can I be that confident that my partner won't be one of them?
Yeah. Japanese men are very physically attractive to me too. But you have to find one with matching values for anything substantial. But remember, that is for everywhere in the world. I say be open to dating Japanese men, but be discerning with which ones. I hear those outside of Tokyo do not view visiting prostitutes as okay. That's mainly a Tokyo/Shibuya thing. I'm sure there are plenty men like Taiki out there, even if they aren't the majority.
Maybe don’t trust this kind of video on the internet, there’s a plaugue of this kind of videos lately where a guy will talk badly about men or person from country x will talk bad about their country, and this caters to both. People who think are against sexism or racism get to satisfy their own bigotry with this kinda videos, without feeling guilty, “because it’s person from that group who said it so it’s fine”. As if they don’t know what internalized discrimination is.
@rebecca_rh yes, I agree with you. Some may do that just to get views and all. But concerning the cheating thing, I understood that from my Japanese classmates 🥲 whenever cheating is discussed, they seem to be OK with it, or say that it's common or something like that.
@@kaparky7509 oh wow, that stinks. And it’s surprising to me since my japanese mother in law (she’s 50) always told me it’s a big nono to cheat and japanese guys don’t do that, so maybe it’s a generational thing? Can I know How old are they and what did they say exactly, cus it really makes me wonder
Gernan here. I have been looking behind the curtain (culture, traditions, characteristics) for several years from afar and no point on your list was unfamiliar. - There is one subject which really disturbs me: The public and the private face. And here is the reason: It seems like people come home, close their door and let their frustration out on the inet. I read a lot of comments and they are absolutely shocking. Insults, verbal attacks on individuals who don't deserve this kind of treatment in the least. Keyboard warriors! Many times it is envy and jealousy. -- I despise fake behaviour, that made it really hard for me in the US where I resided for 21 years - But altogether life in Japan seems to be quieter and more respectful if you do your homework ahead of time. -- Thank you for your interesting insight.
its fake positivity to what you are referring too. they fake their sincerity while in the eyes of the public because they fear judgement an harsh criticism for not doing the "right" thing or the "correct" thing. but when they are alone without anyone to judge them is when you'll see who they really are because the constraints are no longer there.
I definitely agree with your point! I feel in each culture/society, we all have seen some pretty shocking and disturbing things written online at some point..and you’re right, it really makes you wonder what people are truly thinking? 🤔 when I’m with ppl in person, I often wonder if that online persona is the REAL face,and the one in public is the MASK? it’s because of this, and with the internet, I believe I have such trust issues, bc ppl can be entirely different ppl online..I prefer the company of animals and my kids. Only peaceful, trustworthy relationships allowed, people are very hard to trust in general, but great insight, and good point!
When you were talking about coldness, lack of opinions and masks, I felt like you are describing British people. In fact, when I was complaining about British coldness to somebody, I was told, that Japanese people are the same... I also read that there are open and closed cultures. And the British and Japanese are the closed ones. When I was living in Spain, I felt so happy and relaxed. When I moved to UK, I felt and still feel like living between the aliens... It's another planet. (People even say sorry to the tree, if the bump into it, but they would not say hallo to the neighbour - they will pretend not to see...)
6:50 Lots of people have this kind of mentality unfortunately. I grew up in london and people often jump in-front of trains here too and people react the same way. It’s awful, people only care to see things from their perspectives and how things inconvenience them.
To be brutally honest, I don't have any sympathy for people who jump in front of trains either. I feel sorry for the driver of the train & people who witness it. It's very traumatic & they'll have to live it for the rest of their lives. Also self deletion is considered a cowardly way out in the West, I don't necessarily agree with this view, but yeh... If you're doing it, don't drag others with you.
I lived and dated in Japan, and I agree with you 100%. For anyone interested in this topic, I recommend the books "Japan Unmasked" by Ichiro Kawasaki and "The Japanese" by Edwin Reischauer. The books are written in the 90s but still valid.
Being married to a Japanese dude for a long time, I agree with this video. If I had to do it over again, I would marry a person from my own country or at least a Westerner.
It's very interesting your way of speaking about your culture, thank you a lot. I'm french and I lived a long time in Paris: there are also suicide in the metro, with a announcement. The mostly reaction of people is raising the eyes to the sky with fatalism, or just be sad. I never heard people say seriously " they can have jump elsewhere" but maybe in their head? Here I think nobody dare says this sort a things, not seriously at least. I can see people shaked inside and touched. For the age of women, 27 is considered young here, and when you reach 40 you'r considering more attractive, mostly by the young men who reach for experience 😅
This is very true. I dated a Japanese guy and he gave up all passions for his work. He even got it tattooed on him. It was SO hard to talk to him about anything. It was like pulling teeth! I also previously had several ladies, both Japanese and non-Japanese, tell me not to date a Japanese guy. I can now say first-hand that unless he's VERY open-minded, and not like the guy I went out with, it wouldn't work for me.
My japanese girl friends say don’t date japanese guys and Korean guys cause they cheat lol.of course.. its ont everyone.. but it is a very common thing i hear.. Aka japanese guys that are ReALLY japanese.. vs Japanese guys and girls that take interest in other cultures etc.. aka open. You need a good balance.. this is why those japanese willing to date out of japanese already is slightly more open.. those that can speak another language, even more open.. It’s the very traditional boxed ones ( of any culture really) taht are always going to be a problem
That's why i go for chinese man. I'm 40 and dating a younger chinese guy. He prefers mature middle aged woman. Chinese men are wonderful, they really take care of you ❤
If you date a Japanese guy who lives in another country besides Japan, you may have more luck. Not to say there are not good Japanese guys in Japan because there are.
If you watch japanese dramas, there are many slice of life ones in which you can see this specific treats of japanese men. I also like their facial features but I'm quite convinced that as european woman I couldn't have a good life with an evarege japanese man because of mindset differences...
Im french and no, being old is not that considered positively, but being 27 years old is not considered " old" for sure. The whole video is really interesting thank you so much for sharing about this.
I think what he means is that you see a lot of discussion of French women being beautiful and sexy as they mature, within French culture and outside of it. That her style, sense of self, and general aura of confidence shines through the older she gets, and people find that attractive. In particular, the women themselves revel in their beauty routines, staying fashionable, and generally enjoying being women as they get older. You also see in French movies older women as very sexy beings in roles with younger men, etc., and that is normal. Not as though they are sex symbols desired by all, but they don't start ignoring themselves as women just because they are over 30, 40, 50 or even 60. In Japan, it is sort of crazy how even just getting married can make a woman become a sort of asexual house servant overnight, by comparison. French women seem to enjoy their femininity no matter how old they are as part of their culture.
This was a very interesting. Love learning about other cultures. As someone who has visited Japan, I did notice that some of the people were respectful but didn’t seem very kind. There are nuances to every culture. As an American myself, there are definitely a lot of similarly cold people within this country as well.
You are talking things I noticed having lived in Japan for almost 20 years. It is good to hear it in English and it is good for Janpanese to hear that … thank you.
I dated a Japanese guy in the past and your description of people being cold is so accurate, he used to say things like "I saw an old Japanese couple at the train and the man was tired and his wife gave him her seat, that is true love, nothing else needed" and while I do agree that this was a loving and kind gesture, there is A LOT MORE needed for a romantic relationship! We didn't even take the train to begin with! Thank you for this honest video, I subscribed.
I remember when I got really sick while my Japanese boyfriend was at my place. It was coming out both ends all night (sorry tmi) and he acted irritated that I disturbed his sleep!
@@Abe-rz1nm Reminds me of a similar situation but my husband was the one sick. He slept in the bathtub and I slept on the bathroom floor next to him to make sure he was okay. Sometimes it really is the simple gestures in the difficult times that show the kind of person they are. If someone can't be by your side for such a small event, then they certainly won't be there to help when the big problems arise
Thanks for making this video! It's SO REFRESHING to hear someone speak their truth, even if it's controversial. It's also hopeful for me to see someone who clearly is an individual who knows himself and confident enough to defy the norms. 🙏
LOL this is all really true...😂😂 as a young girl who tried dating in japan, i noticed and felt many of these things... thank you for an articulate and honest video❤
I dated a half Japanese half British person. Honestly best bf ever. He was very relaxed and laid back about the relationship which made me trust him more. Sadly we both had demanding jobs at the time and decided to stay as good friends. But he really was the best bf ever
A friend from the Netherlands once had his train delayed because someone jumped and he was just angry about how "selfish" they were to affect people's commute like that. All I could think of was how sad and brutal it must be to go that way. Not that he's a bad person though but I think sometimes people are cold due to lack of understanding.
People saying is selfish is something I've heard to. I'm like I'm pretty sure that's not there thinking at the moment. They aren't like, "I'm going to make everyone late."
Thank you for making this video. 🙏 Although I had worked with a Japanese boss before here in the export industry in Phils., and learned a lot of good practices to apply in my own life.. such as "whatever you do, work with your whole heart, like putting your heart into it, and you will succeed"... Still, I was surprised to hear from my boss telling friends that Japanese men get stressed out on a Friday( unlike us, used to TGIFs).. because to them, the next day would be a Saturday and they will not be working... So, it is really true that work makes them happy...like work...work ..work is a priority to them...not a work/life balance.... sad but true.
Wow, an incredible young man, intelligent, inquisitive, introspective AND compassionate🥰🥰. If only I could meet this rarest type in near reality. Hopefully you keep sharing truths like this and most importantly, keep being an extraordinary person, in a world where this should be the ordinary.
Well, found seven more reasons why I’m happy I’m not dating anybody. I found it very interesting that you mentioned the mask people wear. This is true with many people from many different cultures. The United States has their own variety as well. Thanks for giving everybody a heads up. Realism is hard to find. Also, I thought it was funny that 27 is considered old, I am 43 so I’m sure I would be considered super creepy😂. I subscribed, Because I love to learn about different cultures and languages. Have a great day, my friend.👋
I just had to subscribe after watching this! I had bit of a crush on a Japanese colleague when I was in my twenties. We actually got chatting when he and a few other Japanese guys FINALLY dared to leave their office for the night. The conversation started pleasantly enough. He held out what I thought was a pocket calculator (this was back in the 80s), asked me what my birth sign was and proceeded to read my horoscope prediction (apparently, that was what the gadget was for). I did my best to look impressed and just as I was beginning to wonder what else we could talk about, he very casually informed me that he had a lot of girlfriends back in Japan who liked to come over to stay with him in the UK, and then just as casually went on to describe, quite explicitly, how he liked to *....* them. Not sure that I was as good at masking my shock as I was at pretending to be impressed by a fortune-telling gadget but the conversation ended with me moving to another seat, fast! I later realised that he was just trying to impress(???) me. He was really a sweet guy but, my crush was well and truly over after that conversation!
I had a Japanese boyfriend when I lived there, and I can attest to most of these things. I would add that my ex bf was 'chonan' - eldest son so his wife would be expected to look after his parents when they get old. I don't mind doing it if it's optional (ie if they treat me badly I can say no) but to be expected - no thanks. He also said that living overseas (ie in my home country) was not an option either. That's why I said no to his proposal.
I'm not Japanese, but my children were born and raised in Japan. In 27 years I'm still discovering the culture and the way of thinking. I see a lot in my oldest son, very Japanese... way of acting, thinking,... interesting that you say because I can't describe it...
Hi from Italy! I'd like to share my own story regarding 8:15 (Lack of Compassion) since I had a pretty much same experience as yours but with much closer person, my family member (don't wanna mention any names or gender, just in case, so I will refer to that family memebr as 'they'). We were on metro, I was on the other station while that person was chatting with me on the phone, being on the whole different stop. Suddenly, I heard that person stop talking and heard them just sigh. I asked what was wrong or what happened, and they said, "Another guy jumped onto the railway. I swear, can't they just do it elsewhere? Or kill themselves in some quiet place?". I was so surprised and shocked at the same time! Honestly, I was not and am not a person to take something so lightly, so I just began scolding and saying that even if that happened, we shouldn't be so cold about it or take it as a threat like "Oh no, this accident ruined my day. I'm gonna be late". But in the end, I was glad that they understood my point of view, and from then on, they said nothing about the same situations that happened and began showing some signs of compassion. I don't think that just Japanese that are like that.. but many people in the whole world are indiffirent to such things. Thus, I believe that talking with those people can melt (at least I hope) this coldness and let them understand the meaning and value of life and other things that bring us happiness. Good day//night to everyone! ( ＾▽＾)
In the last 5 years, I've been confronted with suicide twice as a train traveller. As I said, it's not a specifically cultural phenomenon to react coldly to this. It's an expression of alienation. Social brutalisation is worse, even in Europe. Especially since this process leads to the disintegration of democracy.
Thank you for this summary of possible traits in Japanese men. I do find a lot of Japanese men very attractive. Superficially their facial bone structure and lip shape is particularly appealing. Popping the dream bubble about dating one is a good thing. I am Australian we are not hung up on age even though we are a youthful culture. I happily dated a lovely guy who was 9 years younger than I and no one was bothered by this. We parted only because his work relocated him and I was in the process of setting up my own business. I love the French attitude to older females but I am pretty sure monogamy is not a strong trait. 😊
I'm an American woman who is considered youngish here but would be considered old in Japan it seems. I have always been fascinated by the Japanese culture. Your channel is teaching me so much. I am not only fascinated by certain aspects of your culture and people but, all of it. Japanese are so intriguing and mysterious. Thank you so much for sharing with the world! I just subscribed and am looking forward to exploring all of your content!
I love when people are very candid about their country. I always knew that Japan was like this since I was a teen, I'm 35 now, and I would always be annoyed when people only speak of positives about their country. I lived in South Korea for six years and returned to the States 8 months ago and the only thing that changed in my behavior when I was there was that if I'm out at a cafe or whatever, and I need to use the toilet, I know I could leave my things where I am because my physical stuff will not be stolen (but it doesn't mean that they will not steal, it's just mostly done digitally). I've seen the videos of people talking about how they feel so isolated and lonely because they do not feel that they can be part of the culture but I've never felt that. I always knew that I am a foreigner, never felt ashamed of it, worked, and vibed while seeing different parts of Korea. Tried to make friends there and even had a boyfriend, but it all ended up being a waste of time, but I have no harsh feelings behind it. I love having my own peace of mind and enjoying being on the outside because I can see everything clearer looking in.
Oh my gosh! Wow, thank you. I'm hoping your wisdom starts trickling down to the younger generation and they start seeing "young girls" as not sexy. I love learning about Japan for my upcoming trip, but wow, I am floored by what is acceptable as well as everything else you talked about here. Overworking, conforming, ageist, etc. Thank you Taiki. Very good video. Thank you!!
How did you come to all these realizations, I wonder. I apologize if you've already revealed this in earlier videos, this is the first one I've seen as it came through my TH-cam homepage. I really appreciate you!
@@jess4951 This is my first of his videos too! I'm planning a trip to Japan next year and I guess TH-cam heard me. 🤣 I'd heard some of this before, but I've never seen someone be this honest and straightforward about it. I think being able to see things around you, even things that have been around your whole life, for what they truly are is amazing. ☺️
Oh gosh, my Satoru is a Senior Manager Audit Chartered Accountant. He works crazy hours, I totally agree. He is however, incredibly loving and romantic, he is more romantic than me for sure. He adores western values and feels as the Japan is a straight jacket he cannot express himself freely..
ive definitely unfortunately seen a video on social media that was about a person jumping in front of the train (in the US im pretty sure) and i was pretty shocked at the number of comments under it basically saying the person who died should've been more considerate and just died at home. the other comments simply had no sympathy for any form of suicidal ideation whatsoever because they considered it weak and selfish, and i've heard other americans say similar things, although i dont know if i would say its an opinion of the majority. so i think to a certain degree that coldness is also found in people in other countries and in the west, but perhaps it is a more common 本音 attitude in japan
Wow!! Thank you my friend for your honesty and sharing your feelings about your country and culture so openly. You are helping so many to understand and relate from all over the world!! You are truly a brave and compassionate voice. Much respect!! 💜
Thx for your honesty. I studied Japanese culture, the language, judo, I've been there more than once, but yeah, lotta stuff that makes no sense but you definitely enlightened ppl like me 🎉❤
You provide a good explanation about the reasons many women in Japan aren't getting married. Like many other industrialist countries, too many people are not forming families and having children. Your population is shrinking--rapidly. Economics is partly responsible, but Japan's unwillingness to change outdated and disfunctional social norms are probably more to blame. Japan isn't the only country facing these challenges. The over abundance of social media, bad government policy, bad economics, selfishness, and most importantly a lack of spiritual awareness are undermining all important social contracts, not only marriage.
You kind of crushed my dreams here 😅 I am 34 years old, Greek (we have opinions on most things because we need to also argue those opinions with each other), a feminist, possessive enough to not want to share my husband with other women (paid is worse because he spends money on something I give for free), I prioritize mental health instead of a work hard ethic, I also have ADHD so I am often late, artististically inclined and very bad with chores and cleaning consistently my house. 😅 Why do I like Japanese men so much? It seems like I am their nightmare oh God 😂
Sounds like an unhealthy case of yellow fever. Your interests are rooted in superficial and stereotyped views rather than genuine cultural appreciation. The sooner you realize this, the easier your life would be.
I feel you, I'm very similar , and vegan to boot. (I'm not particularly possessive, but definitely shouldn't be spending money on other women) I'm trying my luck anyway 🙈 So far the guy I'm dating seems nice, but I haven't asked any of the heavy questions yet 😅
Same i always find japanese man attractive but at this point i don't want to be in a relationship with them because I'm vegetarian to core, I'm not into alcohol and smoking i can't tolerate smell, i have really great dislike for narrowed mind people I'm way to open minded and very blunt person I love communication in details I love to spend quality time on weekends with family or husband/boyfriend ofcourse everyday too if we're free i too like my alone time so I'm fine with guy being busy with work because I'm not too fond of sticking 24/7 but I don't like the idea of working on weekends and being obsessed with work thinking it's your life I'm masters in psychology my first priority is always mental health and talking openly about social topics and mental health topics as well as talking about equality because I like equality between both man and woman and mutual respect from both side my man seeing me as maid gonna do nothing except me beating the shit out of him and break point of our relationship don't get me wrong i don't mind being housewife I'm good with both cooking and cleaning too but I do prefer my self respect that's important to me i don't like disrespectful man who think and live like we are still living in old century it's like they're not learning or growing mentally with new generation still in old age era and I have great dislike for people who make fun of disabled handicapped people and people who are suffering from mental health so saying something about like that about people who just committed sucide it gonna make my blood boil i understand it's japanese people culture not all are like this and even people of my own culture are like this but specially old generation and mid generation but have very different view of things to the point where being youngest in family i don't like it if my own family make any of these kind of remarks I talk to them openly about anything and everything and I'm type of person who want to date one guy then marrying that same guy living with him until we get old died i know it sounds old way of thinking but fir me relationship are like this i don't mind breaking up or getting divorce if things don't work out but idea of my husband or boyfriend going for prostitaution is definitely a big no from me i don't wanna share my husband/boyfriend either because it's normal to not wanting to share your husband/boyfriend with anyone when you're in relationship considering how i grew up to japanese culture since my childhood to till now I know people are more into younger people in japan but thinking 27 is too old for them still hurt me when I'm currently 27 i wonder if japanese people gonna get scare of my way too open mind and straight forward and blunt personality specially when i don't wear mask i show people what I'm in reality only mask i wear is that i always try to act brave in tough and difficult situation when I'm literally a cry baby but rarely cry infront of family meanwhile outside people and friends know I'm crybaby and to relatives I'm their nightmare because they're scared of me lol 😂
Thank you for your honesty, i never visited Japan, but i have been interested in your country/culture for a long time....greetings from the Netherlands
That's interesting; I posted my first comment before watching your video all the way through. Since you asked, I am gay, and I've always found Japanese (as well as Asian in general) men physically and sexually attractive. I listened with an open heart and an open mind to what you said about dating Japanese men, and I have no reason to not believe it. There is no country, no race, no place on earth that is perfect. Whether I am foolish or naive, all I have is to believe that for every rule there are exceptions, whether it is age, sex, nationality, or cultural norms. I hope maybe I can be one of the lucky ones to find that one who is an exception. Who knows? No one knows. Life is hard, and life is cold. Like I said in my previous comment, I like you; you seem rather interesting, so I'm subscribing to your channel. Cheers, David.
Wishing u good luck in finding true love. I have come to the conclusion that in all societies, 25% of people a genuinely good people… and it must be so in Japan as well.
@@Miragezs Thank you, 25% wouldn't surprise me being true. Unfortunately the odds get stacked even higher against gay people who make up conservatively 10% of any given population. You can do the math to see how drastically the dating pool dwindles for us in any given society. It's too bad Taiki is not on the market as with his looks, personality and sense of morals he'd be quite a catch for anyone. Romance aside there is more than one reason to go to Japan. For me the most important is Ikigai 生き甲斐 or, a purpose or reason for being. Cheers!
I actually wonder how all the points mentioned in the video apply to queer men. Since queer people everywhere in the world tend to stray from social norms more often, perhaps at least some of these points would look different, at least stat/probability-wise.
@@madhatt3r93 That's an interesting point. There are a number of queer Japanese content creators on TH-cam who post about gay life in Japan, but I've never seen them talk about what gay Japanese men are really like. Maybe they can do a response to Taiki's video. I would definitely be interested in watching it.
@@Miragezsoutput: This is strange-I know I posted a response to you two days ago, but I don't see it. Did you get notified that I replied to your comment? I think you're probably right about how many people in any given society are genuinely good people. It probably varies somewhat depending on the culture, but more or less it's the same. The reality is that meeting genuinely good people for gay people is comparatively much more difficult. It's estimated queer people make up about 10% of a population, and we are scattered throughout any given population; we are also largely invisible, so it's easy to hide in plain sight. So doing the math, if the population is, conservatively, 122 million (like Japan for this example), and 10% are gay, that's 12,200,000 out of 122 million Japanese people. Roughly half that number would be Japanese men who are homosexual. That's about 6 million men, and 25% of 6 million is 1.5 million, give or take, which seems like a lot of people, but the dating pool is actually extremely small. This is because even in communities where large numbers of gay men gather, it's extremely lucky to meet genuine good people that you would match with as a potential love interest, are attracted to, and who are attracted in turn to you. In a very real sense, love is a numbers game. Thank you for wishing me luck; I think I will definitely need it! It's too bad Taiki is not gay because, to be quite honest, with his good looks, boyish charm, personality, and sense of integrity, he would be 100% my type that I would fall for. *sigh*
And again . I was born in South Africa white and my husband is Japanese and still happy together. We are married 49 years. My husband said to me that i never chanced so much from my younger age though. Not all the Japanese men or young boys are the same. Japan.
OMG, you killed my dream😭😭😭😭. Im 54 going to Japan next year. I want to live in Japan and hopefully find s partner there, but since you said women in late 20's are considered old. I must be super old 😂😂😂. Its ok though, I still going to go, because i love the culture, history and the beauty it has to show. Thank you for this great video.
Oh my, Thank you for your honesty today and for English. You done very well. So sad for your country, can't have an opinion, and for no compassion on those that take their life. You have a nice smile, so keep smiling.
Extremely interested observations- I cannot help thinking that a season of travelling to different cultures by young Japanese men or women might give an insight into other ways of living which could empowered the individual personal growth and bring wider changes in their communities. Coming from a less organised culture myself, I must say, I do have a great admiration of the general gentleness and responsibly depicted in the Japanese's culture! Keep up the good work, you are doing a great job!
Sorry. I dated a Japanese man, who lives in Japan, for 5 years. I was in my 30's when we met. He treated me like I was the most important person in his life. He does work a lot of hours but always made time for me. I had to go back to USA and I couldn't handle the long distance relationship but I would still date a Japanese man over American man any day.
I wanted to live in Japan for about 2 years to experience the life, culture and landscape there, but after listening about the work culture, I am doubtful now. And I agree with you. Though some Japanese guys look nice, I always thought they weren’t dating or marriage material.
Thank you for your sincere honesty and very open conversation …. From Ireland 🇮🇪 I’m shocked though …. I’m so thankful for my culture of loyalty and Irish Warmth …. Wishing you all the best for your channel ❤🍀🍀☘️🍀☘️🍀🇮🇪
Interesting video. I noticed when I first started dating my husband, he was very absorbed in his work and we had lots of arguments about it. But now, he was able to adjust and doesn't prioritize his work as much. I told him "only your family will care if you die, your workplace will just replace you". I think he eventually realized what was more important in the grand scheme of things. But then again, I wouldn't say my husband is typical since he studied and lived in Canada for 5 years. So I guess one has to have exposure outside Japan to be more open minded.
Quite open minded when you didn't marry a traditional one.
Wow someone else thinks exactly like me. I tell my partner (not Japanese) that you can get another job but you can't get another life if god forbid something should happen to you.
@the23magic
Depends on the job.
That is very true!
Hopefully you both were very thankful for the sacrifices these men made for you, to afford the lifestyle that you enjoy, to ensure that you never go without food, and that you have the beautiful things that you enjoy.
Instead of complaining about it, how about you say thank you
As a Japanese major and former student in Japan, I must say that this is the most self-reflective thing I’ve ever seen. It really matches my own perception.
On the plus side, your video gives me hope that change can happen because people like you exist!
Thank you so much! ❤
❤
God says if my people that are call by my name will turn from their wicked ways and humble themselves and turn God He will heal their land. God is amazing. Son instead of Japanese can you teach them the Bible the world so everyone in Japan could be save and not go to Hell. Please help your country man be save from evil that has curse the land
This is why you have a lifetime subscriber. You tell the truth about japan and japanese people, most people want to paint Japan in the best light as possible, all the time
You say it merci beaucoup arigatou gozaimasu
💯
Asians are the only race that will tell on themselves. I've never seen others do this type of behavior.
I’m Canadian living and working in Japan since 2011. I have felt compelled to tell everyone the truth about my real experiences in Japan which are predominantly ALL NEGATIVE IMO. I feel a responsibility to tell the truth. Hearing this Japanese man’s real thoughts, feelings and opinions on the truth about Japan is so rare , because I would go as far as saying most Japanese are either completely unaware or would never express their true feelings publicly.
Japanese culture, traditions and mindset are thousands of years in the making, and it worked very well for the country for the most part. Like other cultures, people didn't question it, it was simply the way of things, especially in such a homogeneous society unlike Europe today and especially America, land of the immigrant. The advent of the internet and streaming platforms, foreigners coming to Japan, Japanese growing up in other countries, the younger generations are more aware and a bit less satisfied with the old ways. Awareness and questioning are the beginning. Change will be slow but considering how the love of learning is deeply rooted in Japan, the eventual change in society will be interesting. In time it will happen in a uniquely Japanese way.
I hear this complaint from my Japanese friends who are girls… One was married and she said she felt like she was treated like a maid even though they were both working. There was little to no expression of appreciation because it was 当たり前 or expected. They inevitably got divorced.
If I hire him as a husband, would he then be committed to it cus he would consider that as his "job"?
omg best advice for japanese men ive ever heared😂😂if its not a job there is no way hed take it seriously
Best plan Ever!!!!
brilliant thought! Ha,ha!
Yes, he would even work overtime for free, and even die for it. 😂
Your intellect is divine 😂😂😂😂😂 GODDESS
as a japanese woman, thank you for telling the truth LOL
Maybe you dislike Japanese guys, but either japanese boyfriend or no boyfriend is better than foreigner boyfriend
@@moahammad1mohammad Why do you think so ?
@@moahammad1mohammad who hurt this guy
good reason to be racist.
as a japanese woman, thank you for telling us that women in japan are just execrable."
I know that criticism is very looked down upon in japan, specially towards one's own so I think it's very cool that you're able to be so sincere and honest withput sugarcoating anything.
I agree. I really appreciate the information! It's so sad though, because as an American we can express ourselves freely and really live and appreciate life. Glad you are exploring the world and cultures and stepping out of that mold!
@topazzsky Its possible that expressing oneself freely could lead to happiness, but really, it's just a small part. Americans also have a real tendency to think only Americanism, that is - being VERY opinionated and much less thoughtful. The knife cuts both ways. This is not criticism, it's simply a note of caution to another very insular country.
It's so sad.😢. . We work for live ,We don't live for work. Friendship from France
@@ellenkoga6887it is human nature to operate from that with which we are familiar
@@topazzsky well Covid times showed how government and technocrats were getting a stronghold in changing that, but years previously, and in general comparison, I would tend to agree.
I'm an Italian lady married with a Japanese man. Our situation matches perfectly your description. I agree with all you said, people are so cold and I've got troubles with his family and so many cruel behaviours through the years. I subscribe your channel for sure! Thank you for having the guts to tell the truth and exposing the real Japan.
Im italian too! :D
Well I guess the truth is in the middle. I was married to an Italian. It wasn't a great experience, also with his family, believe me. I would never say "this is the true Italy".
@@M4SKEDLE0 i absolutely love italians and italy everything about you guys is so cool!!! :)))
I’m half Japanese, but was born and raised in the US. I remember I over romanticized Japan and Japanese guys as a child and always wanted to marry one. I was very close to the japanese culture/side despite being in the US and would visit Japan almost every year. I would hear many good stories about Japan and the people so I was very proud and decided to move to Japan for high school back in 2011 and then to work.
Sadly, I realized much of what I believed about this country and people were not right and after my last company I worked for, I fell into depression. I also dated a guy there and he was chaos 😂 I couldn’t tell if he was a narcissist or if it was just the culture lmaooo. But yeah, long story short, I feel very disappointed and the only reason I’m staying in Japan is because my family is living here. I’m 30 now and I do worry if I’ll ever be able to marry and have children lol. But yeah, thank you for making this video!
Well, IMO you're a really beautiful girl - the picture of yourself you have posted here is very pretty 😁). If I were you meet you in person I'd take a chance and ask you on a date. 😅😊
And you're gonna find a really lucky guy who will be blessed to have you in his life. I don't know you as a person of course but as long as you're generally well-rounded and open to trying new things you'll absolutely find someone you consider compatible with you 🙂
@@illuminocalypse5210 I don't have anything to do in this lil comment XDD but anyways I just wanna say thanks or saying nice things and give encouraging words to Rubyrose7858. It was wholesome to read 😊
I guess I am the opposite end. I am an American living in Japan. I am doing fine despite the work culture. When it comes to dating, I am not sure how I feel about Japanese woman. They are beautiful but the issue is I notice they double down on the charm to hide their true emotions. I had one close female friend who confessed to me that it’s all an act to make them more desirable. Yet, if a man falls in love with that false face, then he is falling in love with a lie. I am just trying to find a woman of good character and is genuinely kind. The issue is, I am finding a lot of people like the idea of kindness but will not be kind if it costs them anything in return. I am probably just a bit bias because I haven’t met anyone that challenges what I have seen so far.
I have same experience here in Japan. I have a Japanese colleague and we almost became closed friends. He was nice, but one day, when we were eating, we talked about high tax in Japan. Most people know that the population of old/retired Japanese is so high the number of younger working Japanese cannot compensate the cost of retired/old Japanese. Then I was so shocked when he suddenly said that “Why don’t those old people just die” to reduce the taxes. I felt he was serious in what he said, and I was stun, I didn’t know how to react. In my mind how can he said that! He has grandparents and parents who are old, right? 😢
W O W!!!!
He doesn't sound like a nice person, I live in England and we have a lot of elderly, i find it hard that people there would say such a thing about the elderly, you habe to help each other out and care for the elderly, if it was not for there sacrifice during the war we might not even alive now.
😅
Dar e adevărat ca în tarile foarte dezvoltate bătrânii sunt multi și asta înseamnă multă muncă pt tineri care nu mai au timp pt viata lor privata. Trist dar adevărat.
Yeah you right he’s disgusting for saying that
I’m Canadian living and working in Japan since 2011. I have felt compelled to tell everyone the truth about my real experiences in Japan which are predominantly ALL NEGATIVE IMO. I feel a responsibility to tell the truth. Hearing this Japanese man’s real thoughts, feelings and opinions on the truth about Japan is so rare and freeing at the same time, because I would go as far as saying most Japanese are either completely unaware or would never express their true feelings publicly.
Japan is so bad that you continue live and work there since 2011? These are the worst type of foreigners..imagine a Japanese choosing to come to live in america and complaining that's it's not like japan.
I have been staying in Japan for almost 4.5 years and I couldn't agree more with you!
You are my voice and thanks for this masterpiece!
Are you fluent
I’m Japanese. And thank god I finally found the person who has a human heart. I was terrified when many people giving good button on X that saying bad words to the people who caused train delay by jumping and lost their lives.
I totally agree with you. I’m also the person who feel sorry for them. Thank you for describing the truth of Japanese ppl.
Living in Japan and knowing many Japanese, you are absolutely right
I'm married to a Japanese man for 6 years and what changed his ways is for us to live in my home country (Philippines) and not Japan. I wasn't happy living there. I got depressed. He also got depression. Contrary to popular belief here, we are having it better here in the Philippines vs in Japan. We still go to Japan for vacations though.
@blureader1164 Not to discredit these women but a lot of times, they thought Japan elevates their quality of life. I admit I am fortunate that I live way comfortably here in the Philippines before marriage and some of the things are literally handed down to me from my parents (like real estate in a major city here so I don't pay rent or mortgage and vehicles) that enables me to jumpstart life as an adult pretty quickly.
@@blureader1164compared to America or Japan living in the Philippines or Thailand isn’t exactly the picture of luxury most foreigners are used to so I kinda understand why
Well idk about thai but the philippines is a third world country. Just having a decent job to support your family is hard to come by. Majority of immigrants that at least came from my country don't/can't go overseas because they want to, but out of necessity.
@@K-san788 That's true and I don't deny that fact. I acknowledge I am really very lucky here as a Filipino living a very comfortable life vs. the majority of my countrymen. I get it my upbringing is so sheltered and I do live in an upper middle class bubble here but these days, I just want to be where my comfort zone is.
I am a white (58) female from the U.S. and only dated Japanese men in my 20’s because I was so attracted to them. I lived in Japan from 23-26 years old in early 90’s. My very best relationship in my whole life was with a Japanese man. He was the opposite of all your traits listed and I was very aware that he was different. He gave me quality time and wanted only to be with me full time, we even worked together. I had to leave Japan however and sadly he passed away 10 years after I last saw him, I didn’t realize how short life could be. Honestly he was an angel on earth. My other boyfriends definitely fit a lot of the traits you describe here. I ended up having a baby before marriage with a boyfriend from Kawasaki and he left me during pregnancy. It was a rough 30 years thereafter but I do have a handsome and kind son from that mistake though. They didn’t have these warning videos when I was young and oblivious so thank you for the video for other girls. Also to anyone who loves Japanese men like I do, just make sure you’re with someone who doesn’t change. As a young blonde I had boyfriends that liked the idea of being with me because I was different but then they preferred a Japanese woman to marry. With that said, I wouldn’t change my life because even though I ended up being single, my heart was always with that one country man from Japan that loved a country girl from the U.S. for who I was. I will always love him so deeply. ❤️😇
He did state at the beginning of his video that not all Japanese men or women are like this.
Now that is the most heart-warming comment I've ever read. I think once you find that kind of love... no matter how hard you try... you can't find it twice in life. Can you fall in love? sure. Will it feel the same? no way. All my love for you
I cried when I read your comment 😢❤ So sorry for your loss.
im wondering how beautiful you are?
🌹💐💐💐💐💐💐💐
Some of what you said legitimately made me cry. I am in a happy relationship with my non-Japanese boyfriend and have been for 4 years. I can’t imagine what some of these women go through without support from your significant other. And the stuff about the train suicides…that’s just terrible. 💔 I do love Japan and its people but will not deny, as like other countries, that there are huge huge problems within the society. Taking your own life over WORK? Or school? Or even just in general…it’s just too sad.
It’s funny that in Japan, “the nail that sticks out gets hammered down” but in America it’s the total opposite with “the squeaky wheel gets the grease”. Meaning if you don’t speak up for yourself, you’ll never get what you need.
I remember that I have seen an article a long time ago, I was about 18 or 19 about japanese women who said on herself that after 30 y o they're considered expired, like if they were just a piece of meat to consume...as a young girl of not even 20 I felt it like an insult for all women and it gave me anxiety I remember, like wow I don't have a lot of time to be attractive and find the right one...but as you say french people (I'm french) are okay with women after 30s and even 40s as long as you keep your body fit and age like fine wine 💚
Now I just don't care at all 😂 I feel just good in my mind and body 😌
I’ve a Japanese friend that was very Americanized, she disdain the Japanese culture and beliefs. She actually told me that women’s age is identified like Christmas cake. They buy and eat cake only on Christmas. But once the Christmas had passed, they’re considered expired and aged out to Japanese men.
The worst thing is the language has different politeness levels to be used depending on hierarchy including age. So it’s necessary to reveal your age to each other when you meet, and hence get labelled. One can’t even keep their age to themselves!
@@pingteo6104 I think the revealing your age right away thing is more Korean culture.
@@Heartland29That’s right, and that expiration date is only age 25 (December).
Its so ironic that they think of it as “expired” especially when there’s some people that look their best at 30. But i agree with your statement it’s a gross way for them to look at people. Maybe that ‘s why they’re having a fertility crisis because the way they treat women suck.
I’m an American and my husband is Japanese. We get along very well. We don’t have any problems we understand we are from different cultures and we explain what we see. It helps us.
I feel sorry for you !
Very articulate, impressive English communication! You’re a gem that’s been well polished! Thanks for the honest perspectives on your own people, most Japanese men would probably to proud to acknowledge and expressing that view of themselves!
I'm genuinly curious how you were able to develop this perspective on society while the others stayed in the bubble? What was different.. was it your family, did you lived abroad or are you just honest enough to tell what japanese society knows but ignores?
I lived in Canada for a year when I was 15 to study English. I also visited the UK for two months last year and met many wonderful people. That probably helped.
@@japaneseforenglishspeakersthat's all it took?? Dang.
@@japaneseforenglishspeakersYou presented a fascinating perspective and speak English so well!❤
@@japaneseforenglishspeakers That's wonderful! (I was going to ask the same question). How about your parents? They must have had an influence.
Thanks for your honest video my husband was Japanese I’m Irish my children live in Tokyo I live in Ireland I’m ashamed to say that my children’s attitude towards me is cold especially my son he has no concept of my life or existence outside of Japan I’m almost 80 years old and I know for sure if I passed away he would not come to my funeral when I visit Japan I’m treated like a casual visitor and when I leave there is no communication so my grandchildren never talk to me I miss them I always love Japan but knowing how the culture controls people and the very unhealthy attitude to work and family makes it impossible for me to live there for any period of time so because of my children’s attitude of their detached attitude I’ve decided that it’s better not to visit again I’m not respected and I feel sad to have lost all of my family at the time of divorce my husband had all the rights and I left for my home country penniless it was very hurtful and shameful I lived on the island of Okinawa and I met lovely people and I have very warm and loving memories of that time
What a shame! I saw a very sad video of an Australian woman, whose Japanese husband divorced her and didn’t allow her access to her children. I lived in Japan for 11 years, and when I went back again last year after Covid, I’m starting to feel like a visitor as well, but your case is more unfortunate!
I love Japanese culture and I'm learning Japanese as well... I'm intermediate leve" N3 " and I can really confirm what you've said... I've talked to many Japanese people and they're basically exactly what you've described.. No exaggeration or anything like that but dude you showed the true dark side of Japanese culture as a Japanese person hats off.. You're legend and very brave person to get the courage to have this critical opinion of you about Japan.
And I'm totally aware of everything that you've mentioned that's why I'm keeping it to getting to know the culture and be fulent in Japanese because I just adore it ☺️🤍🥰 チュニジア人です🇹🇳☺️ よろしくお願いします。
Tunisia?
How many
@@blureader1164
What is confusing ?
Thank you for this. I did romanticize what life would be like in Japan. As an American woman, I would indeed struggle with each and every point you made. For example, I work in an elementary school and we teach and encourage individuality and to question the world around you. We promote being unique and out of the box thinking. Thinking and doing what others do just for the sake of it would be against my very nature.
This is not their culture.
This is a very self-aware video and I appreciate that you do have your own opinions. I have been that standing out nail that gets hammered down, but in a small town in America. I had a Japanese friend for years. He claimed he wasn't materialistic, but then I saw him get very excited talking to rich people. So, one day I said that I wasn't making as much money as I used to, just to see what his response would be. He instantly seemed to become a different person. He acted like he really needed to talk to his "richer" friends. My actual income had not changed, but my view of him did. I realized he was picking friends based on ambition and opportunity only. Not real connections. It made me sad, but I learned what it means when people say Japanese people wear a mask.
And this is not to say that all Japanese people are like this, of course. There are still many kind Japanese people, and most are polite. Some do conceal deeper feelings and hidden agendas, though, and they can keep secrets very well.
Introspection is a tremendous power, both for yourself and the benefit of all. Thank you
Everything you say is absolutely truth, as an American woman working for a Japanese company in the states, I came across every point mentioned here. I was constantly in in conflicts 🙄
As a very very old person myself 74yrs Ha!ha! I love your honesty.You have wisdom beyond your years.I worked for 22 yrs caring for the elderly here in the UK,it was my work but I loved it.May more of your people gain enlightenment and find their own self worth as you have.
I’m also a 47 year old British woman and I agree 😁
I am sure that you will feel awesome and that you will be very well taken care of because you cared for the elderly at a young age. When you are good to the world, good gets back to you in the best possible ways.
I came to Japan this spring, and before coming, dating a Japanese guy or anything never crossed my mind and I didn't know anything about them anyway. I just came to study and that was all. But after I arrived, I found Japanese men very physically attractive lol. I have a crush on dozens of them every day 😅
I didn't deal with any of them outside the classroom, but I think I know enough to make me determined never to be with a Japanese guy. The cheating thing is the worst and I can never accept it. I know not everyone is like that, but when something is common, I always ask myself: how can I be that confident that my partner won't be one of them?
Yeah. Japanese men are very physically attractive to me too. But you have to find one with matching values for anything substantial. But remember, that is for everywhere in the world. I say be open to dating Japanese men, but be discerning with which ones. I hear those outside of Tokyo do not view visiting prostitutes as okay. That's mainly a Tokyo/Shibuya thing. I'm sure there are plenty men like Taiki out there, even if they aren't the majority.
You are weird. How can you have so many crushes. You just have fetish
Maybe don’t trust this kind of video on the internet, there’s a plaugue of this kind of videos lately where a guy will talk badly about men or person from country x will talk bad about their country, and this caters to both. People who think are against sexism or racism get to satisfy their own bigotry with this kinda videos, without feeling guilty, “because it’s person from that group who said it so it’s fine”. As if they don’t know what internalized discrimination is.
@rebecca_rh yes, I agree with you. Some may do that just to get views and all. But concerning the cheating thing, I understood that from my Japanese classmates 🥲 whenever cheating is discussed, they seem to be OK with it, or say that it's common or something like that.
@@kaparky7509 oh wow, that stinks. And it’s surprising to me since my japanese mother in law (she’s 50) always told me it’s a big nono to cheat and japanese guys don’t do that, so maybe it’s a generational thing? Can I know How old are they and what did they say exactly, cus it really makes me wonder
Gernan here. I have been looking behind the curtain (culture, traditions, characteristics) for several years from afar and no point on your list was unfamiliar.
- There is one subject which really disturbs me: The public and the private face. And here is the reason: It seems like people come home, close their door and let their frustration out on the inet. I read a lot of comments and they are absolutely shocking. Insults, verbal attacks on individuals who don't deserve this kind of treatment in the least. Keyboard warriors! Many times it is envy and jealousy.
-- I despise fake behaviour, that made it really hard for me in the US where I resided for 21 years
- But altogether life in Japan seems to be quieter and more respectful if you do your homework ahead of time.
-- Thank you for your interesting insight.
its fake positivity to what you are referring too. they fake their sincerity while in the eyes of the public because they fear judgement an harsh criticism for not doing the "right" thing or the "correct" thing.
but when they are alone without anyone to judge them is when you'll see who they really are because the constraints are no longer there.
Lmao okay gernan
I definitely agree with your point! I feel in each culture/society, we all have seen some pretty shocking and disturbing things written online at some point..and you’re right, it really makes you wonder what people are truly thinking? 🤔 when I’m with ppl in person, I often wonder if that online persona is the REAL face,and the one in public is the MASK? it’s because of this, and with the internet, I believe I have such trust issues, bc ppl can be entirely different ppl online..I prefer the company of animals and my kids. Only peaceful, trustworthy relationships allowed, people are very hard to trust in general, but great insight, and good point!
When you were talking about coldness, lack of opinions and masks, I felt like you are describing British people. In fact, when I was complaining about British coldness to somebody, I was told, that Japanese people are the same... I also read that there are open and closed cultures. And the British and Japanese are the closed ones. When I was living in Spain, I felt so happy and relaxed. When I moved to UK, I felt and still feel like living between the aliens... It's another planet. (People even say sorry to the tree, if the bump into it, but they would not say hallo to the neighbour - they will pretend not to see...)
The truth is that these comments are generalisations. To assert that ALL British or Japanese people are cold and heartless is nonsense.
I was a student in the UK for 5 years and I didn't find people cold, more that life could be tough and so people became tough as a consequence.
6:50 Lots of people have this kind of mentality unfortunately. I grew up in london and people often jump in-front of trains here too and people react the same way. It’s awful, people only care to see things from their perspectives and how things inconvenience them.
I’ve been looking through the comments to see if somebody points this out. The other things, like ageism, are not unique to Japanese mentality either.
To be brutally honest, I don't have any sympathy for people who jump in front of trains either. I feel sorry for the driver of the train & people who witness it. It's very traumatic & they'll have to live it for the rest of their lives. Also self deletion is considered a cowardly way out in the West, I don't necessarily agree with this view, but yeh... If you're doing it, don't drag others with you.
I lived and dated in Japan, and I agree with you 100%. For anyone interested in this topic, I recommend the books "Japan Unmasked" by Ichiro Kawasaki and "The Japanese" by Edwin Reischauer. The books are written in the 90s but still valid.
Being married to a Japanese dude for a long time, I agree with this video. If I had to do it over again, I would marry a person from my own country or at least a Westerner.
That’s a fucked up thing to say lmfao, imagine your husband sees this 😬
I want you for a son in law even if you’re Japanese. You seem like a gentleman. 🤗
It's very interesting your way of speaking about your culture, thank you a lot. I'm french and I lived a long time in Paris: there are also suicide in the metro, with a announcement. The mostly reaction of people is raising the eyes to the sky with fatalism, or just be sad. I never heard people say seriously " they can have jump elsewhere" but maybe in their head? Here I think nobody dare says this sort a things, not seriously at least. I can see people shaked inside and touched.
For the age of women, 27 is considered young here, and when you reach 40 you'r considering more attractive, mostly by the young men who reach for experience 😅
This is very true. I dated a Japanese guy and he gave up all passions for his work. He even got it tattooed on him. It was SO hard to talk to him about anything. It was like pulling teeth! I also previously had several ladies, both Japanese and non-Japanese, tell me not to date a Japanese guy. I can now say first-hand that unless he's VERY open-minded, and not like the guy I went out with, it wouldn't work for me.
My japanese girl friends say don’t date japanese guys and Korean guys cause they cheat lol.of course.. its ont everyone.. but it is a very common thing i hear..
Aka japanese guys that are ReALLY japanese.. vs Japanese guys and girls that take interest in other cultures etc.. aka open.
You need a good balance.. this is why those japanese willing to date out of japanese already is slightly more open.. those that can speak another language, even more open..
It’s the very traditional boxed ones ( of any culture really) taht are always going to be a problem
That's why i go for chinese man. I'm 40 and dating a younger chinese guy. He prefers mature middle aged woman. Chinese men are wonderful, they really take care of you ❤
I’ve never dated a Japanese man, but do find them very attractive. I never knew much about this until your video.
If you date a Japanese guy who lives in another country besides Japan, you may have more luck. Not to say there are not good Japanese guys in Japan because there are.
If you watch japanese dramas, there are many slice of life ones in which you can see this specific treats of japanese men. I also like their facial features but I'm quite convinced that as european woman I couldn't have a good life with an evarege japanese man because of mindset differences...
I think they are beautiful creatures... & like you I couldn't ever date or marry due to their hierarchy system & lack of respect for each other.
I enjoy watching on TV
But to date or to marry..?
Maybe after my hubby passes?
Weird individuals are attracted to weird people, no surprise.
Thanks so much for this video I.m Spanish with a Japanese boyfriend. Sometimes cultural differences are so tough to overcome😢
Im french and no, being old is not that considered positively, but being 27 years old is not considered " old" for sure. The whole video is really interesting thank you so much for sharing about this.
That part made me chuckle because I wonder who told him that
I think what he means is that you see a lot of discussion of French women being beautiful and sexy as they mature, within French culture and outside of it. That her style, sense of self, and general aura of confidence shines through the older she gets, and people find that attractive. In particular, the women themselves revel in their beauty routines, staying fashionable, and generally enjoying being women as they get older. You also see in French movies older women as very sexy beings in roles with younger men, etc., and that is normal. Not as though they are sex symbols desired by all, but they don't start ignoring themselves as women just because they are over 30, 40, 50 or even 60. In Japan, it is sort of crazy how even just getting married can make a woman become a sort of asexual house servant overnight, by comparison. French women seem to enjoy their femininity no matter how old they are as part of their culture.
I believe he meant older women (30's, 40's . ) and still been desired by men and viceversa.
ça me donne envie d'être raciste.
Frenchmen have the second biggest Lolita complex after the Japanese.
This was a very interesting. Love learning about other cultures. As someone who has visited Japan, I did notice that some of the people were respectful but didn’t seem very kind. There are nuances to every culture. As an American myself, there are definitely a lot of similarly cold people within this country as well.
I truly appreciate such a truthful and thoughtful view of your society. I am so thankful that you turned out to be so caring and kind.
You are talking things I noticed having lived in Japan for almost 20 years. It is good to hear it in English and it is good for Janpanese to hear that … thank you.
I dated a Japanese guy in the past and your description of people being cold is so accurate, he used to say things like "I saw an old Japanese couple at the train and the man was tired and his wife gave him her seat, that is true love, nothing else needed" and while I do agree that this was a loving and kind gesture, there is A LOT MORE needed for a romantic relationship! We didn't even take the train to begin with! Thank you for this honest video, I subscribed.
How long
I remember when I got really sick while my Japanese boyfriend was at my place. It was coming out both ends all night (sorry tmi) and he acted irritated that I disturbed his sleep!
@Abe-rz1nm
Does it applies to every other japanese guy
@@Abe-rz1nm Reminds me of a similar situation but my husband was the one sick. He slept in the bathtub and I slept on the bathroom floor next to him to make sure he was okay.
Sometimes it really is the simple gestures in the difficult times that show the kind of person they are. If someone can't be by your side for such a small event, then they certainly won't be there to help when the big problems arise
@@Abe-rz1nmOh, I hope that you were able to pass on whatever it was that you had! Sharing IS caring, after all! 😁
Thanks for making this video! It's SO REFRESHING to hear someone speak their truth, even if it's controversial. It's also hopeful for me to see someone who clearly is an individual who knows himself and confident enough to defy the norms. 🙏
I subscribed because of this video.
LOL this is all really true...😂😂 as a young girl who tried dating in japan, i noticed and felt many of these things...
thank you for an articulate and honest video❤
I dated a half Japanese half British person. Honestly best bf ever. He was very relaxed and laid back about the relationship which made me trust him more. Sadly we both had demanding jobs at the time and decided to stay as good friends. But he really was the best bf ever
Half or foreigner seems to be the best
Same, but whilst my ex bf was the best I ever had... he was kind of... violent towards other people besides me 😅
Thank you for being so honest and informative. I found it very enlightening.
Insightful commentary, unbiased and informative
A friend from the Netherlands once had his train delayed because someone jumped and he was just angry about how "selfish" they were to affect people's commute like that. All I could think of was how sad and brutal it must be to go that way. Not that he's a bad person though but I think sometimes people are cold due to lack of understanding.
That is a bad person....he was a Dutch person you say? Wat een eikel!
same thing in France
People saying is selfish is something I've heard to. I'm like I'm pretty sure that's not there thinking at the moment. They aren't like, "I'm going to make everyone late."
Really appreciate your analysis and clarity, Taiki. Thanks for another great video.
Thank you for making this video. 🙏
Although I had worked with a Japanese boss before here in the export industry in Phils., and learned a lot of good practices to apply in my own life..
such as "whatever you do, work with your whole heart, like putting your heart into it, and you will succeed"...
Still, I was surprised to hear from my boss telling friends that Japanese men get stressed out on a Friday( unlike us, used to TGIFs)..
because to them, the next day would be a Saturday and they will not be working...
So, it is really true that work makes them happy...like work...work ..work is a priority to them...not a work/life balance....
sad but true.
I applaud your candor and transparency. Thanks for sharing...
Wow, an incredible young man, intelligent, inquisitive, introspective AND compassionate🥰🥰. If only I could meet this rarest type in near reality.
Hopefully you keep sharing truths like this and most importantly, keep being an extraordinary person, in a world where this should be the ordinary.
This is so fascinating to me! But I appreciate your realness.
Well, found seven more reasons why I’m happy I’m not dating anybody. I found it very interesting that you mentioned the mask people wear. This is true with many people from many different cultures. The United States has their own variety as well. Thanks for giving everybody a heads up. Realism is hard to find. Also, I thought it was funny that 27 is considered old, I am 43 so I’m sure I would be considered super creepy😂. I subscribed, Because I love to learn about different cultures and languages. Have a great day, my friend.👋
My Japanese sensei who’s living abroad and married the foreigner with two teen boys has been saying the same things.
Is your sensei a Japanese woman or man? Trying to understand context. Thanks!
Does your sensei live in Spain?
I just had to subscribe after watching this! I had bit of a crush on a Japanese colleague when I was in my twenties. We actually got chatting when he and a few other Japanese guys FINALLY dared to leave their office for the night. The conversation started pleasantly enough. He held out what I thought was a pocket calculator (this was back in the 80s), asked me what my birth sign was and proceeded to read my horoscope prediction (apparently, that was what the gadget was for). I did my best to look impressed and just as I was beginning to wonder what else we could talk about, he very casually informed me that he had a lot of girlfriends back in Japan who liked to come over to stay with him in the UK, and then just as casually went on to describe, quite explicitly, how he liked to *....* them. Not sure that I was as good at masking my shock as I was at pretending to be impressed by a fortune-telling gadget but the conversation ended with me moving to another seat, fast! I later realised that he was just trying to impress(???) me. He was really a sweet guy but, my crush was well and truly over after that conversation!
It's always nice when scuzzy men reveal their characters early.
LOL, you were enlightened early...
Thank you for being brave in sharing the light on your culture pertaining to men’s attitudes towards older women and their part in marital life.
I had a Japanese boyfriend when I lived there, and I can attest to most of these things. I would add that my ex bf was 'chonan' - eldest son so his wife would be expected to look after his parents when they get old. I don't mind doing it if it's optional (ie if they treat me badly I can say no) but to be expected - no thanks. He also said that living overseas (ie in my home country) was not an option either. That's why I said no to his proposal.
I'm not Japanese, but my children were born and raised in Japan. In 27 years I'm still discovering the culture and the way of thinking. I see a lot in my oldest son, very Japanese... way of acting, thinking,... interesting that you say because I can't describe it...
Hi from Italy! I'd like to share my own story regarding 8:15 (Lack of Compassion) since I had a pretty much same experience as yours but with much closer person, my family member (don't wanna mention any names or gender, just in case, so I will refer to that family memebr as 'they').
We were on metro, I was on the other station while that person was chatting with me on the phone, being on the whole different stop. Suddenly, I heard that person stop talking and heard them just sigh. I asked what was wrong or what happened, and they said, "Another guy jumped onto the railway. I swear, can't they just do it elsewhere? Or kill themselves in some quiet place?". I was so surprised and shocked at the same time! Honestly, I was not and am not a person to take something so lightly, so I just began scolding and saying that even if that happened, we shouldn't be so cold about it or take it as a threat like "Oh no, this accident ruined my day. I'm gonna be late". But in the end, I was glad that they understood my point of view, and from then on, they said nothing about the same situations that happened and began showing some signs of compassion.
I don't think that just Japanese that are like that.. but many people in the whole world are indiffirent to such things. Thus, I believe that talking with those people can melt (at least I hope) this coldness and let them understand the meaning and value of life and other things that bring us happiness. Good day//night to everyone! ( ＾▽＾)
In the last 5 years, I've been confronted with suicide twice as a train traveller. As I said, it's not a specifically cultural phenomenon to react coldly to this. It's an expression of alienation. Social brutalisation is worse, even in Europe. Especially since this process leads to the disintegration of democracy.
Thank you for this summary of possible traits in Japanese men. I do find a lot of Japanese men very attractive. Superficially their facial bone structure and lip shape is particularly appealing. Popping the dream bubble about dating one is a good thing. I am Australian we are not hung up on age even though we are a youthful culture. I happily dated a lovely guy who was 9 years younger than I and no one was bothered by this. We parted only because his work relocated him and I was in the process of setting up my own business. I love the French attitude to older females but I am pretty sure monogamy is not a strong trait. 😊
Thank you for the video. I love to hear truth insights of the Japanese culture.
I'm an American woman who is considered youngish here but would be considered old in Japan it seems. I have always been fascinated by the Japanese culture. Your channel is teaching me so much. I am not only fascinated by certain aspects of your culture and people but, all of it. Japanese are so intriguing and mysterious. Thank you so much for sharing with the world! I just subscribed and am looking forward to exploring all of your content!
I love when people are very candid about their country. I always knew that Japan was like this since I was a teen, I'm 35 now, and I would always be annoyed when people only speak of positives about their country.
I lived in South Korea for six years and returned to the States 8 months ago and the only thing that changed in my behavior when I was there was that if I'm out at a cafe or whatever, and I need to use the toilet, I know I could leave my things where I am because my physical stuff will not be stolen (but it doesn't mean that they will not steal, it's just mostly done digitally).
I've seen the videos of people talking about how they feel so isolated and lonely because they do not feel that they can be part of the culture but I've never felt that. I always knew that I am a foreigner, never felt ashamed of it, worked, and vibed while seeing different parts of Korea. Tried to make friends there and even had a boyfriend, but it all ended up being a waste of time, but I have no harsh feelings behind it. I love having my own peace of mind and enjoying being on the outside because I can see everything clearer looking in.
I appreciate your honesty. You’re definitely different in a good way from the traditional Japanese guys. 👍
"If you're 27-28, you are considered old" 😅
Kaway-kaway sa mga Lola diyan na katulad ko.
👋😄 hi I'm old too
I mean their age of consent is minors/children, so I wouldn't take anything the Japanese say seriously.
Dang, I must be ancient at 30 then 🤣
Im about to be 30 😭😭😭
I'm 28 🙂
Oh my gosh! Wow, thank you. I'm hoping your wisdom starts trickling down to the younger generation and they start seeing "young girls" as not sexy. I love learning about Japan for my upcoming trip, but wow, I am floored by what is acceptable as well as everything else you talked about here. Overworking, conforming, ageist, etc. Thank you Taiki. Very good video. Thank you!!
How did you come to all these realizations, I wonder. I apologize if you've already revealed this in earlier videos, this is the first one I've seen as it came through my TH-cam homepage. I really appreciate you!
@@jess4951 This is my first of his videos too! I'm planning a trip to Japan next year and I guess TH-cam heard me. 🤣 I'd heard some of this before, but I've never seen someone be this honest and straightforward about it. I think being able to see things around you, even things that have been around your whole life, for what they truly are is amazing. ☺️
Oh gosh, my Satoru is a Senior Manager Audit Chartered Accountant. He works crazy hours, I totally agree. He is however, incredibly loving and romantic, he is more romantic than me for sure. He adores western values and feels as the Japan is a straight jacket he cannot express himself freely..
So there is hope ❤
ive definitely unfortunately seen a video on social media that was about a person jumping in front of the train (in the US im pretty sure) and i was pretty shocked at the number of comments under it basically saying the person who died should've been more considerate and just died at home. the other comments simply had no sympathy for any form of suicidal ideation whatsoever because they considered it weak and selfish, and i've heard other americans say similar things, although i dont know if i would say its an opinion of the majority. so i think to a certain degree that coldness is also found in people in other countries and in the west, but perhaps it is a more common 本音 attitude in japan
Wow!! Thank you my friend for your honesty and sharing your feelings about your country and culture so openly. You are helping so many to understand and relate from all over the world!! You are truly a brave and compassionate voice. Much respect!! 💜
Very thoughtful and informative! Thank you!
Delighted to find your channel! Thank you for all these insights!
I found this interesting, eye opening and sad. Thank you.
Thank you for posting such an interesting video!!!
Thx for your honesty. I studied Japanese culture, the language, judo, I've been there more than once, but yeah, lotta stuff that makes no sense but you definitely enlightened ppl like me 🎉❤
So true. And compliments for your introspective English skills.
I like your observations...also your English is terrific!
Thank you for your sincerity and objectivity! You are a rare human gem.
You provide a good explanation about the reasons many women in Japan aren't getting married. Like many other industrialist countries, too many people are not forming families and having children. Your population is shrinking--rapidly. Economics is partly responsible, but Japan's unwillingness to change outdated and disfunctional social norms are probably more to blame. Japan isn't the only country facing these challenges. The over abundance of social media, bad government policy, bad economics, selfishness, and most importantly a lack of spiritual awareness are undermining all important social contracts, not only marriage.
Very interesting video. Reading the precedents answers, it seems you actually nailed it. Good for you.
You kind of crushed my dreams here 😅 I am 34 years old, Greek (we have opinions on most things because we need to also argue those opinions with each other), a feminist, possessive enough to not want to share my husband with other women (paid is worse because he spends money on something I give for free), I prioritize mental health instead of a work hard ethic, I also have ADHD so I am often late, artististically inclined and very bad with chores and cleaning consistently my house. 😅 Why do I like Japanese men so much? It seems like I am their nightmare oh God 😂
Girl, I lived in Japan for a while, I wouldn't recommend it to you on a personal level (based on what you have written here).
Sounds like an unhealthy case of yellow fever. Your interests are rooted in superficial and stereotyped views rather than genuine cultural appreciation. The sooner you realize this, the easier your life would be.
I feel you, I'm very similar , and vegan to boot.
(I'm not particularly possessive, but definitely shouldn't be spending money on other women)
I'm trying my luck anyway 🙈
So far the guy I'm dating seems nice, but I haven't asked any of the heavy questions yet 😅
You don't have to be a possessive feminist to not want to share your husband. That's just f-ing normal. 😊😊
Same i always find japanese man attractive but at this point i don't want to be in a relationship with them because I'm vegetarian to core, I'm not into alcohol and smoking i can't tolerate smell, i have really great dislike for narrowed mind people I'm way to open minded and very blunt person I love communication in details I love to spend quality time on weekends with family or husband/boyfriend ofcourse everyday too if we're free i too like my alone time so I'm fine with guy being busy with work because I'm not too fond of sticking 24/7 but I don't like the idea of working on weekends and being obsessed with work thinking it's your life I'm masters in psychology my first priority is always mental health and talking openly about social topics and mental health topics as well as talking about equality because I like equality between both man and woman and mutual respect from both side my man seeing me as maid gonna do nothing except me beating the shit out of him and break point of our relationship don't get me wrong i don't mind being housewife I'm good with both cooking and cleaning too but I do prefer my self respect that's important to me i don't like disrespectful man who think and live like we are still living in old century it's like they're not learning or growing mentally with new generation still in old age era and I have great dislike for people who make fun of disabled handicapped people and people who are suffering from mental health so saying something about like that about people who just committed sucide it gonna make my blood boil i understand it's japanese people culture not all are like this and even people of my own culture are like this but specially old generation and mid generation but have very different view of things to the point where being youngest in family i don't like it if my own family make any of these kind of remarks I talk to them openly about anything and everything and I'm type of person who want to date one guy then marrying that same guy living with him until we get old died i know it sounds old way of thinking but fir me relationship are like this i don't mind breaking up or getting divorce if things don't work out but idea of my husband or boyfriend going for prostitaution is definitely a big no from me i don't wanna share my husband/boyfriend either because it's normal to not wanting to share your husband/boyfriend with anyone when you're in relationship considering how i grew up to japanese culture since my childhood to till now I know people are more into younger people in japan but thinking 27 is too old for them still hurt me when I'm currently 27 i wonder if japanese people gonna get scare of my way too open mind and straight forward and blunt personality specially when i don't wear mask i show people what I'm in reality only mask i wear is that i always try to act brave in tough and difficult situation when I'm literally a cry baby but rarely cry infront of family meanwhile outside people and friends know I'm crybaby and to relatives I'm their nightmare because they're scared of me lol 😂
Thank you for your honesty, i never visited Japan, but i have been interested in your country/culture for a long time....greetings from the Netherlands
This was an interesting insight into Japanese culture. Thank you for sharing this.
New sub. You come across very sincere. You don’t seem to sugarcoat, which I love.
That's interesting; I posted my first comment before watching your video all the way through. Since you asked, I am gay, and I've always found Japanese (as well as Asian in general) men physically and sexually attractive. I listened with an open heart and an open mind to what you said about dating Japanese men, and I have no reason to not believe it. There is no country, no race, no place on earth that is perfect. Whether I am foolish or naive, all I have is to believe that for every rule there are exceptions, whether it is age, sex, nationality, or cultural norms. I hope maybe I can be one of the lucky ones to find that one who is an exception. Who knows? No one knows. Life is hard, and life is cold. Like I said in my previous comment, I like you; you seem rather interesting, so I'm subscribing to your channel. Cheers, David.
Wishing u good luck in finding true love. I have come to the conclusion that in all societies, 25% of people a genuinely good people… and it must be so in Japan as well.
@@Miragezs Thank you, 25% wouldn't surprise me being true. Unfortunately the odds get stacked even higher against gay people who make up conservatively 10% of any given population. You can do the math to see how drastically the dating pool dwindles for us in any given society. It's too bad Taiki is not on the market as with his looks, personality and sense of morals he'd be quite a catch for anyone. Romance aside there is more than one reason to go to Japan. For me the most important is Ikigai 生き甲斐 or, a purpose or reason for being. Cheers!
I actually wonder how all the points mentioned in the video apply to queer men. Since queer people everywhere in the world tend to stray from social norms more often, perhaps at least some of these points would look different, at least stat/probability-wise.
@@madhatt3r93 That's an interesting point. There are a number of queer Japanese content creators on TH-cam who post about gay life in Japan, but I've never seen them talk about what gay Japanese men are really like. Maybe they can do a response to Taiki's video. I would definitely be interested in watching it.
@@Miragezsoutput: This is strange-I know I posted a response to you two days ago, but I don't see it. Did you get notified that I replied to your comment? I think you're probably right about how many people in any given society are genuinely good people. It probably varies somewhat depending on the culture, but more or less it's the same. The reality is that meeting genuinely good people for gay people is comparatively much more difficult. It's estimated queer people make up about 10% of a population, and we are scattered throughout any given population; we are also largely invisible, so it's easy to hide in plain sight. So doing the math, if the population is, conservatively, 122 million (like Japan for this example), and 10% are gay, that's 12,200,000 out of 122 million Japanese people. Roughly half that number would be Japanese men who are homosexual. That's about 6 million men, and 25% of 6 million is 1.5 million, give or take, which seems like a lot of people, but the dating pool is actually extremely small. This is because even in communities where large numbers of gay men gather, it's extremely lucky to meet genuine good people that you would match with as a potential love interest, are attracted to, and who are attracted in turn to you. In a very real sense, love is a numbers game.
Thank you for wishing me luck; I think I will definitely need it!
It's too bad Taiki is not gay because, to be quite honest, with his good looks, boyish charm, personality, and sense of integrity, he would be 100% my type that I would fall for. *sigh*
Very interesting and insightful. Great job!!
And again . I was born in South Africa white and my husband is Japanese and still happy together. We are married 49 years. My husband said to me that i never chanced so much from my younger age though. Not all the Japanese men or young boys are the same. Japan.
Hey Taiki, I love your video, and you‘re an amazing guy 😃 Wish you a lot of success with everything you do!
OMG, you killed my dream😭😭😭😭. Im 54 going to Japan next year. I want to live in Japan and hopefully find s partner there, but since you said women in late 20's are considered old. I must be super old 😂😂😂. Its ok though, I still going to go, because i love the culture, history and the beauty it has to show. Thank you for this great video.
It’s also helpful that those from another culture who are married to Japanese men are able to share their experiences too on here thank you.
just wanted to drop in and say you have a lovely voice and accent 🙈
Oh my, Thank you for your honesty today and for English. You done very well. So sad for your country, can't have an opinion, and for no compassion on those that take their life. You have a nice smile, so keep smiling.
Great video man!
Extremely interested observations- I cannot help thinking that a season of travelling to different cultures by young Japanese men or women might give an insight into other ways of living which could empowered the individual personal growth and bring wider changes in their communities. Coming from a less organised culture myself, I must say, I do have a great admiration of the general gentleness and responsibly depicted in the Japanese's culture!
Keep up the good work, you are doing a great job!
Sorry. I dated a Japanese man, who lives in Japan, for 5 years. I was in my 30's when we met. He treated me like I was the most important person in his life. He does work a lot of hours but always made time for me. I had to go back to USA and I couldn't handle the long distance relationship but I would still date a Japanese man over American man any day.
Brutally honest. Thanks, and admiration from here in England.
I wanted to live in Japan for about 2 years to experience the life, culture and landscape there, but after listening about the work culture, I am doubtful now. And I agree with you. Though some Japanese guys look nice, I always thought they weren’t dating or marriage material.
Thank you for your sincere honesty and very open conversation …. From Ireland 🇮🇪
I’m shocked though …. I’m so thankful for my culture of loyalty and Irish Warmth ….
Wishing you all the best for your channel ❤🍀🍀☘️🍀☘️🍀🇮🇪