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She’s right about the touching you too early on. If they’re too touchy feely too quickly, they’re trying to see how far they can go because of whatever image they’ve concocted in their head about you. I’ve ended dates who have been disrespectful and assumed I would go home with them on the first date. I’m so glad I’m off the market.
I’m one of the Colombian girls interviewed! Thank you Takashi for the interview 😊 Just to make one thing clear, with my ex we used both English and Japanese to communicate, so even though I think the language barrier could play a big role in not being able to communicate properly, in our case it was more about our cultural backgrounds and upbringing that were the issue. Hope it helps 😊
Most of the Japanese thinks that they're always right, and they want to change/fix you. You're right, they have to accept their partner's culture and values.
@@skatecdo7625 Isn't it normal to adapt to them if you are in their country ? Unless the Japanese is the one living in your country, you need to adapt to their culture if you live in their country, not because they think they are always right, it is because you need to respect the culture of a country you are in. It is common sense. I wonder why there are foreigners like you that tend to talk shit about the Japanese while you are the one being an asshole for not being able to adapt to them in their country.
Love Colombia! I have been studying Spanish for years. It's the most beautiful language in the world. I skyped for years with a Colombiana from Medellin which made me appreciate the Colombian culture. Viva Colombia! Viva Los Cafeteros!
Happened to me in 🇨🇦 after 6 years being together. I wanted to marry her. Stopped replying to my texts, messages on Facebook and then eventually blocked me on everything but that's rare here. Every time I tell someone they're shocked. It's honestly taken me years to get over it. I haven't tried dating for almost 4 years now. I'm dying alone. 🙃
I've been married to a Japanese man for 32 years. An intercultural relationship can be so interesting and fun if you share the same values and some of the same interests or hobbies. I didn't know I'd be moving to Japan when I started dating my husband in Chicago. Back then Japan wasn't super popular like now, and there was no internet. But that was also part of the fun. Living in Kyoto now, I'm amazed to see how many tourists here because when my husband and I came here on our honeymoon back in 1992, it was not crowded at all. But I'm not surprised Japan has become so popular, even back in the 1990s I thought it's a wonderful country and culture, and I still think so.
Well done, I am a western guy married to a Japanese woman for 23 years, since we were both in our early 20s, some ups and downs in the early days but the last 10 years has been smooth sailing. We are proof a couple from different cultures can definitely work as long as you have the same morals & values, I agree with that. ☮
Yep, it can come down to having same values, interests and hobbies. That's part of the reason I was only with my ex Japanese boyfriend 3 years because we didn't have enough in common. 😌 so you are pretty spot on with that.
Nice. I'm a Korean-Canadian married to a Canadian woman for 35 years. She lived in Japan for a year and was fluent in Japanese, and I was minoring in Japanese history, and so we met at the uni. There are cultural hurdles regardless of how "westernized" the immigrant - 1st or 2nd gen - is bc we don't realize how deeply cultural values are imbedded through our formative years. I think at the end of the day respecting the other person's autonomy and the right to express their feelings is crucial in making compromises. The expressions of love do change over the long haul of marriage, and it's important to recognize the changes and still validate them as Love.
I’m surprised this didn’t mention how Japan is grappling with consent. The idea of “what is rape” is slowly being clarified, but areas like ‘is it okay if she’s passed out”, or “is saying no enough” are still not legally clear or enforced.
@@francookie9353Not only in Japan. When I was in uni in the early 2000s, most people thought it was ok. I did not. Thankfully it's being questioned now.
My mother is Japanese being a stupid teen I asked her, do you think Dad was involved with another woman overseas since he was away for a year? When I saw the pain in my mother's face I knew I could never do that to somebody else. Even though it might be acceptable by Japanese culture and some people have the same sort of attitudes Latino culture, It's about integrity and loving your spouse. If you love your spouse and you have integrity, you will not cheat or have sex with anybody else.
I find that the Netflix’s show Love is Blind gives a pretty good comparison point. Start with Amercan version, watch couple of seasons to learn the patterns of the show and after that watch other nations in that order: Brazil, Japan, Sweden. You’ll get a really great overview of what one or another culture emphasis, how the society functions and what they are lacking in comparison. It’s super polarised and you can see where a lot of problems lay in all of the cultures.
Pro tip from someone with a Japanese partner: be fluent in Japanese and talk about deeper topics (e.g. social and cultural norms, economic issues, religion, etc.) before you catch feelings.
i mean… that’s really universal advice. in dating cultures you don’t ask that stuff because the exploration in that other person is romanticized. but courting people should factor in a lot of those principles of identity. courting and dating are not the same thing
@emilwandel in western culture there is an assumption of sexual exclusivity in a romantic relationship unless specifically stated otherwise. It's as much about safety as it is loyalty. Hiring a sex worker is usually only considered acceptable in the West if you're planning to share their services with your partner or you've each agreed in advance that it's alright for either of you to have sex with other people.
@@user-ey7qi9iz8rwell said and important distinction on the safety part, if your partner male or female is sleeping around with prostitutes you have a high probability of being exposed to STDs, and that shit doesn't go away it ruins life's.
I can’t help but wonder if this a double standard rooted in traditional sexism (“men will be men” “they can’t help themselves”) or if women would also be allowed to have casual sex with no consequences.
@ from what i understand if their partner doesn’t know then it doesn’t matter, i’ve also found that girls tend to “not care” if there’s no emotional connection (i think they’re just forced to forgive and forget), i totally agree it stems from “boys will be boys” for sure tho
It's awesome to see foreigners living in other countries. This is how we learn about each other and see how similar everyone really is except for minor cultural differences.
I lived in Japan for 6 years and dating was awful there. I found most men were either too passive or they just wanted s e x. So many Japanese men cheat…the cheating culture really surprised me. Celebrities have no problem admitting that they had mistresses in the past on TV. And women are told that we should forgive them at least once. I moved to Korea and I found the men to be much more masculine and easier to date. I am happily married now. Many of the guys openly express their feelings which works much better for me as opposed to Japanese guys who are too embarrassed to be vulnerable. So many of them are intimidated by intelligent women with opinions. Ugh so toxic.
I’m sorry but the one American chick her facial expressions looked like the topic of cheating hit real close to home and heart. I hope she finds her happiness and peace ❤
@DillonHathaway i guess if it's live videos that they can interact with the female.....porn is one thing....those other interacting videos are almost like virtual prostitution, because the voyeur pays currency for the female to do specific things for their viewing pleasure. I would have issue with the interacting viewing type. Just porn....that's nothing really to get on about. But the live streams....that is pushing.
I came from Switzerland and currently living in Tokyo. Had dated several Japanese guys ( my current bf is also a Japanese ). Honestly I think Japanese guys are the sweetest. When they're in a relationship they're willing to go all out to make their partner happy. They're really invested in the relationship and I deeply appreciate that.
I’m so glad to be a part of this and you never fail to amaze me with your content!!! I loved watching this video!!!! Hope to see you again soon Takashi🤗 all the best! - Kira (3:32, Australian/american/Burmese born in Tanzania) hehehe
19:30 Takashi's eyes look away to contemplate in shock - because he knows that men in Japan don't usually say "I love you" that fast, the idea that the "problem" is actually *you* being so lovable 🤣
A girlfriend or wife being okay with a prostitute is wild. Just a different culture and mindset I guess, but I can't imagine taking that as anything other than an insult to their sex life.
I suspect because porn/AV is so rampant there, the guys expect all sorts of weird stuff that women aren’t ok to do. So the women relent on ‘outsourcing’ it to the brothels… as long as their bf/husband fulfils the other responsibilities of the relationship.
What a wonderful group of women you have found to interview. They are all so pretty and interesting. Being a bit older it shocking to me how everyone is using these dating apps. You are a fine interviewer and very interesting to watch . Thank you
why does it shock you? dating apps exist out of conviniency, this is why people use them. why go out and do the work when you instead can get your date with only a click of a button on top having options 100x larger than it wouldve bin normaly?
@ I once tried to create a dating app profile and felt like I was putting myself out there like a piece of meat and found the whole process to be degrading. I would think these beautiful women would attract men like bees to, honey but I guess I am wrong and I am shocked that they need to advertise 😬
@@Mr39knuck or maybe they are lying. consider it is universally men are picking women on dating based on proceeded beauty and avability. women pick men based on hight, profession and appearance. this is based on actual data analytics. majority of women mostly uses dating apps as a form of validation and yes for men particular it is rather degrading consider that 80% of the male population arent appealing for women in dating apps. than theres the fact that roughly 60-70% users of dating apps on the regular base are men.
12:40 That's not a cheating culture shock, that's just cheating and conditioning to accept cheating, specially because these same guys would NOT be accepting of the women cheating on them. This happens everywhere where women were conditioned to accept men that would disrespect and dehumanize them because they literally depended on them to exist and survive. Also, the reason why so many Japanese women prefer being single while the men refuse to evolve as human beings, apparently. Like in most places around the world, unfortunately.
I discussed this with my piano teacher. She is an older Japanese woman and said she could not accept how men treated her in Japan and early on decided to "not bother" in her words. She also said her parents would not have accepted a foreigner in those times (she grew up in the 70s and 80s). Kind of sad.
The ones who talk about Western dating culture refer in reality to anglo-saxon dating culture. In France things work the opposite way: if you've been on a few dates it's assumed you're a couple unless you specifically clarified it's only casual. I was working for an international company in Paris and I heard many Americans, Brits and Australians complain about that. They thought it was weird how their French dates would consider them a couple after only a few dates without asking. This whole concept of "the talk" doesn't really exist here. I'm biased obviously, but I prefer that. I always thought it was silly to go on dates for weeks or months with someone and then being like "what are we?". It's making things more complicated than they need to be.
À chaque fois que les Anglo saxon parle de culture « Western » ils essayent de nous englober avec eux alors que c juste vrais pour leurs pays (Amérique, UK, Australie) c’est très frustrant. Ils sont très ignorant et après les autres pays pensent que nous somme comme eux 🤡
Je suis italienne et c’est la même chose qu’en Italie. On ne doit pas échanger des mots ou faire des annonces publiques pour déclarer d’être une couple ❤
In the Netherlands it’s also common to get to know each other first and then decide about making it ‘official’. Perhaps it has to do with ‘north-western’ culture.
Every relationship dies, if the communication fails. It doesn't matter if you're a mushroom or a Shiba Inu. The success of the relationship depends on how you and your partner handle things. While it is true that Japanese guys communicate in a different way, it is not impossible for foreigners to learn it. I'm from Germany and we Germans love to be DIRECT. So if I suggested that I'm going to cut my hair short and my Japanese partner did not like the idea, he would never say: DON'T DO IT!! instead he would say: I think a little bit shorter would suit you well. A LITTLE BIT. A German guy would tell you straight away: please don't cut your hair short, I love your long hair. Or if there is something your Japanese partner disagrees with, he would never directly say that he hates the idea, but try to express his discomfort by saying: oh no, but this is embarrassing for me. Understand and respect your partner's wishes. If you can generally get along well, then I don't see a problem here. If you need to know about red flags, then I guess the universal red flag applies here. A man, who doesn't know how to treat women right, is definitely a red flag. A man who does not understand the concept of consent is a criminal and criminals belong in the prison. And then we have our lovely cheetahs, but personally I think they belong inside a zoo. Clearly make sure to set boundaries on cheating with your boyfriend at the beginning of your relationship. If you can both stick to it, that means you're able to respect your partner. And this will prove that he's a real one. A good relationship needs a little bit of care, yes, but I would say that most of it comes natural, if he's really the one ;)
also: I'm neurodivergent, so it might be easier for me to adapt, than it may be for the average person. My man doesn't speak a word of English, so naturally we would communicate fully in Japanese. I must say, studying Japanese with a Japanese boyfriend is a lot more fun and easier to do. Also, I love him very much :)
@Mariajbh2 then they must learn to communicate first. They must be willing to improve themselves. What we can do is to offer our help, but it is for them to accept it. Of course, a lot also depends on the mental constitution of your partner, which is formed by the relationship with their parents and social environment. Since that is a more complex topic, only a good therapist might be able to untangle it. A lot can be done for a mutually respectful treatment. I wish you all the best 🫂
Honestly even if we're perhaps more direct over here in North America and in the West in general, communication is a skill and some people never mature and learn to do it effectively. Men bottling up emotions and being passive in a relationship happens a lot here too as a result of our culture and upbringing. Women can experience the same issues. It's definitely a skill and one that both partners have to learn, hopefully sooner rather than later.
I am a Japanese man, and to begin with, there are not many Japanese who can speak English or other foreign languages, so it is difficult for me to have the courage to communicate at that point. Another reason is that Japanese people are basically not very open to romance. And there are Nanpa men in Japan. They are like one particular hobby, and there are a few special men in Japan who specialize in doing so on a daily basis. Be careful.
First time I’ve run into this channel and I really enjoyed it, I’ve always wanted to go to Japan. I’ve wanted travel everywhere, I love learning about other cultures and traditions. This channels really great w the questions he asks, especially as a female, Japan seems safer for solo foreign females compared to S Korea from videos I’ve watch. Glad to know that
It's very interesting to see a cheating culture that allows seeing prostitutes but also are quick to say I love you and also don't/can't express what they actually feel. They seem quite related.
From what I've gathered through these sorts of interviews many Japanese view the relationship more in terms of emotions rather than as a physical thing... So they might think "cheating" is fine as long as there are no feelings involved, hence why going to a soapland and getting a handjob from a random girl you don't know might not be viewed as cheating. In the west on the other hand we tend to put more weight on the physical aspects of a relationship as well (Not saying we don't put importance on the emotional, but the physical probably holds about equal importance for many). So kissing, touching, or anything sexual is basically seen as a part of the relationship and something that should be reserved for your loved one. Although I will say that we can also be super weird about cheating maybe in leaning pretty far the opposite way, where we might consider completely harmless things to be cheating... Like the American girl in the video, she listed "talking to other girls" and "liking someone's posts" as something she'd consider cheating. From my short time visiting Japan and the people I met, having friends of the opposite sex seems to be much more normal. Meanwhile in the US and other parts of the western world a ton of people would consider that to be a huge red flag...
@Kriss_941 No, they are a very narcissistic, and misogynistic and patriarchal society. And women are not allowed to do what men do. You cannot separate the mind from the body and men do not allow women to do that. They have any posible defense
Edit: I forgot to type don't* my bad! I personally don't* think that talking to the opposite sex or liking other people's pictures is cheating... However, it depends on what they're talking about and what kind of picture my boyfriend likes, especially if it's tons of them! Like if they start flirting together, yikes. Like sure, you can like pretty women's photos, but if they're all thirst traps or sexy photos of them wearing lingerie or skimpy outfits... Ishhh... Idk, I wouldn't be comfortable with fhat to be honest. Thinking from my boyfriend's point of view, I wouldn't be comfortable with my girlfriend (me) doing that either (i.e., flirting with other men or liking tons of men's thirst traps or sexy photos). 😅
My ex Japanese boyfriend thinks my direct communication is aggressive just because I question stuff about him. Like how he blindly believes stuff just because it's mainstream but skeptical of everything that is not mainstream. Wheird. But he's from Kanto. He can be pretty passive aggressive which worked for him in Portland, OR. 😅
Yes it looks like they just listen to the propaganda and don't bother at all to make their own researches...probably too busy to survive in a very pressed society...
It's actually a very American way of thinking....cos they will routinely refuse to ever read or listen to any band unless they've seen said author or band on network TV. Otherwise how could it be any good??.
The girl married to a Japanese guy: she talks and acts like all her self-confidence is gone. Should she not run away very fast and saves herself before her true self disappears?
I used to work in shibuya, in a office jimusho as engineer. And yup I remember having seen young men achi kochi looking at girls when walking and stopping them for talking. Just now I understand what was that hehe. In my experience, I was very inlove with a Japanese guy, but he kind of made public that he wanted a partner with whom he could keep secrets from and that consider whatever he said as true without making problems… I was very inlove but I was not willing. Yup, the cheating thing is a serious matter there.
It must be very suffocating living a life devoid of feelings or constantly trying to hide your feelings. No wonder there's no love. Sounds like a very sad way of living...
@@amensister2219 Because Japanese people can understand each other's feelings without words. Japanese people are not ADHD like Westerners who need to explain everything to understand.
@@amensister2219 Because Japanese people can understand each other's feelings without words. Japanese people are not ADHD-ish Westerners who need to explain everything to understand.
@@amensister2219 To me it seems like people largely lie about their their feelings or don't even understand their own feelings, when they're not not misinterpreting or poorly communicating their feelings, so it doesn't make any difference to me if they express their feelings, because I know just about as much either way. I mean, women who are effusive with their emotions, or forthcoming, in my experience, are also the least settled, and are more likely to have their feelings blow away with the wind anyway.
That's Australian girl. Absolutely love her. Australians have so much spirit. And i have a few online Australian friends. That are some of my best friends 🙏♥️
With sexism in Japan so strong it doesn't make sense for women to go to Japan. For some men of course, they prefer more sexist countries because they (hope to) benefit from it.
As an American, I just can't understand how one could not express their feelings. How is that? How does one go about not expressing sadness, anger, happiness, joy, thankfulness, etc? I would never want to be around someone that leaves me wondering and guessing how they feel. That's just so creepy and stressful.
It is true that a lot of Japanese guys ask for English lessons, but they have no intention of actually learning English.They just want to date you or want a foreigner girlfriend. And ghosting is definitely very common. I have some really bad ghosting experiences in Japan.
I'm really doubtful western people wait a couple of months before start dating. I think we jump into both dating and hook ups very fast nowadays, the only difference I see to Japanese culture is the official confession or question, whereas here there are not such rules or patterns, although I'm from eastern europe
It’s very funny that my husband and I are both American and we have had a very similar relationship experience 😅 my husband asked me to be his girlfriend on our third date/time hanging out. He doesn’t really speak his feelings, but it shows in his actions. It could be that we’re very “old souls” or traditional. I’m currently learning how to speak Japanese because it’s been a goal for us to have our late honeymoon in Japan ❤️
Hm, I'm Irish and dating culture is somewhere inbetween the japanese style and what is described here as "western" (I hate that word lol, it normally just means American/British). You wouldn't go on dates with someone for months here without that being seen as a relationship or clarifying how serious or not serious the relationship is, but its not formal like the japanese example. Irish people are culturally very casual in how we interact with eachother (not just dating) as casualness = politeness, generally here. Being overly formal can come across as rude, like you see yourself as above someone else, or someone above you. I noticed in many other european countries (not all) it's the opposite. The UK is completely the opposite culturally in that regard to Ireland. Cheating is 100% the end of a relationship here obviously. How traditionally you approach the relationship is entirely dependant on that individual person, there isnt an expectation either way really. Many dudes will want to pay for a date as a way of showing off, but its not a huge expectation. Just depends on you. Hook ups are normal I'd say, but you can avoid that scene by how you approach dating. I definitely feel a bit of expectation to sleep with someone after a few dates, but of course you dont have to, but you'll likely discuss it and how seriously you want to take the relationship after maybe 3/4/5 dates, maybe more, just depends on the people involved. Drinking culture is very big here too, going to a restaurant would come across as quite serious and not casual here, going to the pub for a drink or to a coffee shop would be a very common date here, especially for the first 1 or 2. The norms are quite different across Europe I think. Ive heard both Italy and France are a lot more lax about dating multiple people or cheating, but I dont have any experience about that.
@iamdmc nah it was just her face lmaooooo and mfer, we're not a bunch of hosers that say "eh" we say "yeah. Oh yeah you betcha" you're literally watching a cultural analysis video and can't even get that right? Geek.
@@mediocreman2 She has pleasing, striking features, really beautiful eyes. Obviously she could have her pick of men, on the whole. But her clear insecurity regarding loyalty tells the story. I think a western white woman would perceive that east Asian men would be easier to lock down. Some others probably like the idea of being feitishized. She actually bears a noticeable resemblance to the "adult" star Melody Marks, an American who is popular in Japan, who btw has a long, really interesting interview you can find on YT regarding doing porn in Japan. The Minnesota girls is, from what I've seen, what Japanse guys like in Western women. Not surprised she's married.
@@NextExiterit is not considered insecurity in the US for a woman to expect her partner to be exclusive to them. It is considered being respectful to your partnership. Most US women expect equal partnership with their boyfriend/husband. There are, of course, all types of relationships in the US, but many couples consider showing any romantic or physical attraction to someone other than your partner is unacceptable. I would say especially a physical relationship with someone other than your partner is a dealbreaker most of the time in the US for both partners, men and women.
4:33 She is gorgeous and the fact that she know how important honest communication is for a successful relationship shows she's smart too. I can't believe she's single...WOW!
I found Japanese men to be either very shy or very direct. No in between. I had guys walk up to me on the street within a second of seeing me and saying "you are beautiful, do you want to get coffee?" But also guys sneaking around me for hours while running errands in the city before they very shyly asked me out. I was married for all the years living in Japan (still am) so always politely declined...
I was in the US Navy in the late 90s and stayed in japan for some time, then came back and stayed in Tokyo for 6 months and i was ASTOUNDED by how pervasive cheating was and how little they all cared about it. I did not expect that, for some reason. I must say that is one area where i much prefer my home culture's viewpoint.
Loved what the last girl said at the end. I've also met some forward and extroverted Japanese guys, and passive quiet Western guys. Sometimes it's nothing to do with their nationality or even personality. It's just what they feel about you hahah
Do people not wear wedding rings in Japan? I noticed the American woman didn't have a ring on. Might be personal choice but I just wondered if it was a thing not to wear them in Japan.
Most likely because she did say there was issues with cheating on his part. She seemed VERY uncomfortable about the topic. She probably doesn’t wear it because of that..
I'm married and don't wear a ring. It's not obligatory to wear it. In my case, I don't wear any jewelry and rings feel very uncomfortable. I only wear it on special occasions.
Men, especially, don’t. Also, because of work. My over 75y MIL was like, oh, I lost my wedding ring at some point when the kids were small, can’t remember when and how.
Right!! I noticed this as well. And do they wear it on their right or left hand?? I know some who wear it as a necklace because it's bothersome. Kinda strange.
I've not dated japanese people but some japanese friend/people definitivly ghosted me. If you add the fact that japanese people lie a lot and don't express their true intention easely, it's really make you paranoid when you interact with japanese people who you wanted to connect. The honne/tatemae is a big burden and it's really hard to deal with that with friend or close to be friends It's not only like being introverted. I'm an introvert but i'm 100% honest.
I agree that communication was a little bit of a problem in my experience. Other than that, I had great experiences and lived in Tokyo for 6 years. My fiance was from shikoku and he was a really great person. My only complaint is that I would have liked more communication as well as understanding, and maybe that is one reason that led to me feeling off in our relationship and led to our breakup. I was also young and immature. Also, I can converse in japanese and he does speak English.
From my dating experience in Tokyo the bumble experience was terrible lol but the girls I went on a date with that I met in real life were some of the most fun and genuine connections aside from the language barrier and us trying really hard to communicate 😂 it was a fun time
speaking of them do you have any idea on why she was talking about language barrier at 13:28? i was very curious to see what was her opinion on the cheating culture in japan
Yeah.... Communication is difficult with Japanese guys. Definitely, when you have have something serious to talk about, or when you want to talk about your relationship, or some problems in your relationship, which btw. can be fixed, and maybe not even a big deal, but the moment you mention that maybe you could talk about this and that, and make it better for the sake of the relationship, a lot of my ex-boyfriends couldn't handle it. And we literally broke up, because they believed, that if there is any problem at all with our relationship, we should break up. It is the end of the world for them. And without communication or even trying to fix it, they just leave or ghost you, or break up with you.....
I would love to live in Japan, but I’m too old for a working visa so I stay in Japan every year for 2mths. Once i told a group of my Japanese friends (all woman) I need to find a Japanese husband so I can live here. They all said "NO, Japanese men are hard work, they expect wife to cook, clean & wait on them all the time." 😊
I didn’t show my face on tinder too when I visited Taiwan a few years ago 😭 I used a Sanrio character lmao. I don’t want to be judged too, but it’s because I want to someone to like me for my personality and not looks. And didn’t want a bunch of people contacting me just for being a foreigner. It worked though!! I’m married to a nice Taiwanese guy I met on Tinder 😊
Japanese people are quite open about their feelings, it just might take a little more time with some people, and the communication style is different. It's probably difficult to fully understand their feelings too if you don't fully understand the culture and catch the visual cues, or if you don't have a good level of Japanese to be able to communicate about such matters Also, if your culture is quite different, or your mannerisms are very foreign or seem quite aggressive, that might make people less open or apprehensive, so that may require more time for some Japanese people to get used to. However, if you live in Japan a while, assimilate into the culture and how people communicate, and get good at everyday Japanese, then you'll likely find people will open up about their feelings quite quickly and are quite friendly, especially out in social events, bars etc.
@katsup_07 Only abusers are aggressive, people who support this behavior are abusive too. And you contradict yourself, because Japanese men are ALSO MEN
@@Mariajbh2 I'm sorry. I was teasing. Your comment looked like a troll comment, since it just states negative information and has no justification nor reasoning for it. I do not support people being aggressive nor abusive towards others, neither physically nor verbally. Japanese men are men, but they are quite gentle compared to men in other countries. Japan does not generally have an abusive society of men. They are very kind and considerate to one another. However, there are a small number of men who are abusive, just like other countries. It's unfortunate and we should all try to help reduce it.
@katsup_07 Typical from trolls projecting on others. You are a troll dedicated to exalting and justifying the abusive and backward behavior of Japanese men. And you are offended by me telling the truth about them and you attack the truth by saying it is "negative" 😂, ridiculous. The truth is the truth, and if you don't tolerate it you are not only a narcissist, you also show that you are a troll whose only function is to try to say "good things" about Japan. In reality, I feel sorry for people who work in the trolling industry. It's a sad job
3:07 it is sadly true that a lot of western media are TERRIBLE at making things official. Not say all men, I have had men actually ask if I wanted to be their girlfriend, but I’ve also had a few men who haven’t said anything so I’d be wondering in my head what was going on or if they actually really liked me and I’d have to be the one to upfront ask if they considered us a couple. Note to men: Don’t assume that a girl thinks you guys are going out. It’s considerate and sweet when a guy asks a girl if she wants to be their girlfriend… just saying. Hopefully this reaches some men, so they can learn how to treat women!!!!
How about you Takashii?!? Have you dated a foreigner?!? This is a question based on pure curiosity only! Or maybe you can add this when you do a Q&A video! 😉Hehehe 😏
I'm also from a country where we say I love you rather quickly from a foreigner perspective. But we don't literally mean that we totally "love you from the bottom of the heart, less go have babies" or something. It's just awkward language for "let's begin the steps for forming an exclusive relationship".
@samuraijosh1595 oh wow that is wild!! Because that lowers the value of the word. I just say "friends with benefits" and keep it moving. Hahahaha I am being honest with them. "Love" in essence should have heavy value. It means I am willing to take your crazy and mine together...I ain't ready for that after like "3rd date".
@@namastewoke5197 no it's just a misuse of the original English slang for dating that's adopted in their language. It doesn't lower the value of a date to "3rd" rate because it's just using the wrong diction to express an idea. That's about it. I'm surprised Takashi didn't push back on this to explain it.
My husband and I said it very quickly as well, about a month into our relationship. I think it just depends on the people as well as how deeply you feel the connection. I knew I loved my husband after our first date BUT I didn’t dare say it lol 😂
It's interesting how in Colombia they are very extroverted but Ecuador is a neighbor country and they are also reserved. Not as shy as Japanese but reserved or conservative, yes.
Yeah they want to get married so they can quit their jobs, and have the coveted “kids with sexless marriage” they all have as their target. Marriage is a financial arrangement here in Japan. So knowing the manipulation and long term con that they play would serve as good red flags 🚩
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You all have small pee pee
She’s right about the touching you too early on. If they’re too touchy feely too quickly, they’re trying to see how far they can go because of whatever image they’ve concocted in their head about you. I’ve ended dates who have been disrespectful and assumed I would go home with them on the first date. I’m so glad I’m off the market.
That's awful and so objectifying..so sorry you've been through that..😢
I’m one of the Colombian girls interviewed! Thank you Takashi for the interview 😊
Just to make one thing clear, with my ex we used both English and Japanese to communicate, so even though I think the language barrier could play a big role in not being able to communicate properly, in our case it was more about our cultural backgrounds and upbringing that were the issue. Hope it helps 😊
Most of the Japanese thinks that they're always right, and they want to change/fix you. You're right, they have to accept their partner's culture and values.
Consejos para vivir en Japon sin morir en el intento?
Cual la primera blanca o la segunda?
@@skatecdo7625 Isn't it normal to adapt to them if you are in their country ?
Unless the Japanese is the one living in your country, you need to adapt to their culture if you live in their country, not because they think they are always right, it is because you need to respect the culture of a country you are in. It is common sense.
I wonder why there are foreigners like you that tend to talk shit about the Japanese while you are the one being an asshole for not being able to adapt to them in their country.
Love Colombia! I have been studying Spanish for years. It's the most beautiful language in the world. I skyped for years with a Colombiana from Medellin which made me appreciate the Colombian culture. Viva Colombia! Viva Los Cafeteros!
Ghosting someone you’re IN a relationship with is still too hard for me to wrap my head around. Great info from all the ladies 👍
Very common for men and women to do this in America.
Agreed, comes across as lack of maturity , and using convenient excuses
Happened to me in 🇨🇦 after 6 years being together. I wanted to marry her. Stopped replying to my texts, messages on Facebook and then eventually blocked me on everything but that's rare here. Every time I tell someone they're shocked.
It's honestly taken me years to get over it. I haven't tried dating for almost 4 years now. I'm dying alone. 🙃
Takashi's english has gotten better
I don't think so, but he makes more sense when he speaks a bit slower
The girlfrom congo looks like a princess, so beautiful!
Interesting video Takashi 😊
Gorgeous, and the dress adds to her beauty immensely
She is incredibly beautiful and she has her own TH-cam channel!
@@santisanti8386which is?
@@andreas1416 Crazyllah
@@santisanti8386 and she did her MSC and PHD in environmental sciences in Japan
I've been married to a Japanese man for 32 years. An intercultural relationship can be so interesting and fun if you share the same values and some of the same interests or hobbies. I didn't know I'd be moving to Japan when I started dating my husband in Chicago. Back then Japan wasn't super popular like now, and there was no internet. But that was also part of the fun. Living in Kyoto now, I'm amazed to see how many tourists here because when my husband and I came here on our honeymoon back in 1992, it was not crowded at all. But I'm not surprised Japan has become so popular, even back in the 1990s I thought it's a wonderful country and culture, and I still think so.
Well done, I am a western guy married to a Japanese woman for 23 years, since we were both in our early 20s, some ups and downs in the early days but the last 10 years has been smooth sailing. We are proof a couple from different cultures can definitely work as long as you have the same morals & values, I agree with that. ☮
Yep, it can come down to having same values, interests and hobbies. That's part of the reason I was only with my ex Japanese boyfriend 3 years because we didn't have enough in common. 😌 so you are pretty spot on with that.
Nice. I'm a Korean-Canadian married to a Canadian woman for 35 years. She lived in Japan for a year and was fluent in Japanese, and I was minoring in Japanese history, and so we met at the uni. There are cultural hurdles regardless of how "westernized" the immigrant - 1st or 2nd gen - is bc we don't realize how deeply cultural values are imbedded through our formative years.
I think at the end of the day respecting the other person's autonomy and the right to express their feelings is crucial in making compromises. The expressions of love do change over the long haul of marriage, and it's important to recognize the changes and still validate them as Love.
@@9y2bgy 🙏📿
I’m surprised this didn’t mention how Japan is grappling with consent. The idea of “what is rape” is slowly being clarified, but areas like ‘is it okay if she’s passed out”, or “is saying no enough” are still not legally clear or enforced.
... WHAT??!
"Is it okay if she's passed out" is a real question being debated?!
@@francookie9353It’s really true, Japan for all its modernity is still a very sexist country, women as less than men often.
@@francookie9353Not only in Japan.
When I was in uni in the early 2000s, most people thought it was ok. I did not. Thankfully it's being questioned now.
@@cmm5542 In 3rd world countries I wouldn't be surprised, but in Japan?! Wow.
@@francookie9353 there is still a lot of sexism in Japan, at least that was my experience when I lived there for two years
My Japanese husband said "I love you" on the first date. I told him he was ridiculous. We have been married for 27 years.
Good thing that it didn't give you a gut feeling to run for the hills, and you gave him a chance.
As an African American man it felt great to see the beautiful woman from Congo treated well, she compared her treatment to her home country itself.
she has a youtube channel if your'e interested. she talks a lot about her experience in japan her channel is crazyllah
She's a beauty!
As a Congolese American who went to Japan, I also was treated well in Japan and had such a wonderful time. Japan is great!
She was READY for those questions
My mother is Japanese being a stupid teen I asked her, do you think Dad was involved with another woman overseas since he was away for a year?
When I saw the pain in my mother's face I knew I could never do that to somebody else.
Even though it might be acceptable by Japanese culture and some people have the same sort of attitudes Latino culture, It's about integrity and loving your spouse.
If you love your spouse and you have integrity, you will not cheat or have sex with anybody else.
It’s just sex
@@yo2trader539 same thing
@@DRAGONswag33 It's not just sex. That's excused used by people who want to cheat and don't care about their partner.
@ maybe you just don’t understand about keeping the relationships lively
Tf you on weirdass @@DRAGONswag33
I find that the Netflix’s show Love is Blind gives a pretty good comparison point. Start with Amercan version, watch couple of seasons to learn the patterns of the show and after that watch other nations in that order: Brazil, Japan, Sweden. You’ll get a really great overview of what one or another culture emphasis, how the society functions and what they are lacking in comparison. It’s super polarised and you can see where a lot of problems lay in all of the cultures.
Takashi i just want to say, your English has improved so much from the time you started doing these videos.
the australian girl is GORGEOUS and super sweet, I love her vibe
Pro tip from someone with a Japanese partner: be fluent in Japanese and talk about deeper topics (e.g. social and cultural norms, economic issues, religion, etc.) before you catch feelings.
that's a good tip
i mean… that’s really universal advice. in dating cultures you don’t ask that stuff because the exploration in that other person is romanticized. but courting people should factor in a lot of those principles of identity. courting and dating are not the same thing
hahahhahahahahahaha
BEFORE you kiss 😅
BEWARNED: Many Japanese men don't think hiring prostitutes is cheating. 💀
why would it be? They are not dating them.
@emilwandel in western culture there is an assumption of sexual exclusivity in a romantic relationship unless specifically stated otherwise. It's as much about safety as it is loyalty. Hiring a sex worker is usually only considered acceptable in the West if you're planning to share their services with your partner or you've each agreed in advance that it's alright for either of you to have sex with other people.
Not only Japanese, in Italy some men think the same thing.
@@user-ey7qi9iz8rwell said and important distinction on the safety part, if your partner male or female is sleeping around with prostitutes you have a high probability of being exposed to STDs, and that shit doesn't go away it ruins life's.
What think japanese women about?
“If I found out my bf went to a prostitue, they wouldn’t come back, like you’re not mine now” so real
Facts!
Same here: (I am super-faithful to my boyfriend and always say:) If you go and have sex with somebody else...stay there, do not come back.
I can’t help but wonder if this a double standard rooted in traditional sexism (“men will be men” “they can’t help themselves”) or if women would also be allowed to have casual sex with no consequences.
@ from what i understand if their partner doesn’t know then it doesn’t matter, i’ve also found that girls tend to “not care” if there’s no emotional connection (i think they’re just forced to forgive and forget), i totally agree it stems from “boys will be boys” for sure tho
they can’t even control their body, that’s not a good sign
The British girl! We attended Japanese lessons together last year at the academy in Seville! Good luck to you in Japan!!
she is the most beautiful! don't understand why she only has a small interview in this clip!
@@economicyolo My men, the video is not a beauty contest.
@@economicyolo no no Tanzania girl wins 🤓☝
@@economicyolo not takashii's type I guess
@@economicyolo What has being beautiful got to do with the interview? 😂😂 Thirsty mofkr
It's awesome to see foreigners living in other countries. This is how we learn about each other and see how similar everyone really is except for minor cultural differences.
I lived in Japan for 6 years and dating was awful there. I found most men were either too passive or they just wanted s e x. So many Japanese men cheat…the cheating culture really surprised me. Celebrities have no problem admitting that they had mistresses in the past on TV. And women are told that we should forgive them at least once.
I moved to Korea and I found the men to be much more masculine and easier to date. I am happily married now. Many of the guys openly express their feelings which works much better for me as opposed to Japanese guys who are too embarrassed to be vulnerable. So many of them are intimidated by intelligent women with opinions. Ugh so toxic.
"So many of them are intimidated by intelligent women with opinions. Ugh so toxic."
The last part can be applied to every men with low self esteem regardless of their culture ✌️
👍🏽
I’m sorry but the one American chick her facial expressions looked like the topic of cheating hit real close to home and heart. I hope she finds her happiness and peace ❤
She also said Watching videos counts as cheating to each their own But that's WILD lol
@DillonHathaway i guess if it's live videos that they can interact with the female.....porn is one thing....those other interacting videos are almost like virtual prostitution, because the voyeur pays currency for the female to do specific things for their viewing pleasure. I would have issue with the interacting viewing type. Just porn....that's nothing really to get on about. But the live streams....that is pushing.
She also wasn't wearing a ring 👀 plenty of reasons for that, but heads up.
girl was a huge walking red flag
That girl needs to be single for a loooooong time. Too insecure.
I came from Switzerland and currently living in Tokyo. Had dated several Japanese guys ( my current bf is also a Japanese ).
Honestly I think Japanese guys are the sweetest. When they're in a relationship they're willing to go all out to make their partner happy. They're really invested in the relationship and I deeply appreciate that.
🙄
🤔
I’m so glad to be a part of this and you never fail to amaze me with your content!!! I loved watching this video!!!! Hope to see you again soon Takashi🤗 all the best!
- Kira (3:32, Australian/american/Burmese born in Tanzania) hehehe
19:30 Takashi's eyes look away to contemplate in shock - because he knows that men in Japan don't usually say "I love you" that fast, the idea that the "problem" is actually *you* being so lovable 🤣
Breathtakingly beautiful, your content is amazing
Don't take this the wrong way but the first 2 sentences of your comment made me think you were a Prawn bot 😂
I really enjoyed your sections of the interview! Btw you are so pretty! I will subscribe to you! Let's collab next time I'm in Japan 😁
Kira, you are like a full moon in the dark sky, so mesmerizing. 😳🥰
11:27 that dramatic camera shot of Takashi looking genuinely concerned lol😂
very revealing interviews ~ thank you to all the ladies
5:55 - Best boy living his best life in the background 😂
A girlfriend or wife being okay with a prostitute is wild.
Just a different culture and mindset I guess, but I can't imagine taking that as anything other than an insult to their sex life.
I suspect because porn/AV is so rampant there, the guys expect all sorts of weird stuff that women aren’t ok to do. So the women relent on ‘outsourcing’ it to the brothels… as long as their bf/husband fulfils the other responsibilities of the relationship.
Also, how can you then have sex with your husband, knowing he has, and is sleeping with prostitutes!? I would be repulsed.
An abusive society towards women is't "culture"
Yeah, Japan is that fucked up!
@@chandanchakraborty879 Really misogynist place
What a wonderful group of women you have found to interview. They are all so pretty and interesting. Being a bit older it shocking to me how everyone is using these dating apps.
You are a fine interviewer and very interesting to watch .
Thank you
why does it shock you? dating apps exist out of conviniency, this is why people use them. why go out and do the work when you instead can get your date with only a click of a button on top having options 100x larger than it wouldve bin normaly?
@
I once tried to create a dating app profile and felt like I was putting myself out there like a piece of meat and found the whole process to be degrading. I would think these beautiful women would attract men like bees to, honey but I guess I am wrong and I am shocked that they need to advertise 😬
@@Mr39knuck or maybe they are lying. consider it is universally men are picking women on dating based on proceeded beauty and avability. women pick men based on hight, profession and appearance. this is based on actual data analytics. majority of women mostly uses dating apps as a form of validation and yes for men particular it is rather degrading consider that 80% of the male population arent appealing for women in dating apps. than theres the fact that roughly 60-70% users of dating apps on the regular base are men.
@Mr39knuck My dude. Bees are not attracted to honey, they make honey. They are attracted to flowers containing pollen.
@@DeaDiabola Jesus loves you 🙏
love the ausi girl.Such a positive vibe and soul.
@06:05 her pointing at the dog taking a pewp is legendary.
Takashii-san, your English is improving. Nice job. 😊
Tekashii asking the hard hitting questions! Love the video
12:40 That's not a cheating culture shock, that's just cheating and conditioning to accept cheating, specially because these same guys would NOT be accepting of the women cheating on them. This happens everywhere where women were conditioned to accept men that would disrespect and dehumanize them because they literally depended on them to exist and survive. Also, the reason why so many Japanese women prefer being single while the men refuse to evolve as human beings, apparently. Like in most places around the world, unfortunately.
I discussed this with my piano teacher. She is an older Japanese woman and said she could not accept how men treated her in Japan and early on decided to "not bother" in her words.
She also said her parents would not have accepted a foreigner in those times (she grew up in the 70s and 80s).
Kind of sad.
The ones who talk about Western dating culture refer in reality to anglo-saxon dating culture. In France things work the opposite way: if you've been on a few dates it's assumed you're a couple unless you specifically clarified it's only casual. I was working for an international company in Paris and I heard many Americans, Brits and Australians complain about that. They thought it was weird how their French dates would consider them a couple after only a few dates without asking. This whole concept of "the talk" doesn't really exist here. I'm biased obviously, but I prefer that. I always thought it was silly to go on dates for weeks or months with someone and then being like "what are we?". It's making things more complicated than they need to be.
À chaque fois que les Anglo saxon parle de culture « Western » ils essayent de nous englober avec eux alors que c juste vrais pour leurs pays (Amérique, UK, Australie) c’est très frustrant. Ils sont très ignorant et après les autres pays pensent que nous somme comme eux 🤡
Obviously Anglo Saxons represent the whole monolithic west /s
It's really frustrating
To also note that women in France are more emancipated. It's not unusual for a girl to ask you out by making the first move
Je suis italienne et c’est la même chose qu’en Italie. On ne doit pas échanger des mots ou faire des annonces publiques pour déclarer d’être une couple ❤
In the Netherlands it’s also common to get to know each other first and then decide about making it ‘official’. Perhaps it has to do with ‘north-western’ culture.
Every relationship dies, if the communication fails. It doesn't matter if you're a mushroom or a Shiba Inu. The success of the relationship depends on how you and your partner handle things.
While it is true that Japanese guys communicate in a different way, it is not impossible for foreigners to learn it.
I'm from Germany and we Germans love to be DIRECT. So if I suggested that I'm going to cut my hair short and my Japanese partner did not like the idea, he would never say: DON'T DO IT!!
instead he would say: I think a little bit shorter would suit you well.
A LITTLE BIT.
A German guy would tell you straight away: please don't cut your hair short, I love your long hair.
Or if there is something your Japanese partner disagrees with, he would never directly say that he hates the idea, but try to express his discomfort by saying: oh no, but this is embarrassing for me.
Understand and respect your partner's wishes. If you can generally get along well, then I don't see a problem here.
If you need to know about red flags, then I guess the universal red flag applies here. A man, who doesn't know how to treat women right, is definitely a red flag. A man who does not understand the concept of consent is a criminal and criminals belong in the prison. And then we have our lovely cheetahs, but personally I think they belong inside a zoo.
Clearly make sure to set boundaries on cheating with your boyfriend at the beginning of your relationship. If you can both stick to it, that means you're able to respect your partner. And this will prove that he's a real one.
A good relationship needs a little bit of care, yes, but I would say that most of it comes natural, if he's really the one ;)
also: I'm neurodivergent, so it might be easier for me to adapt, than it may be for the average person. My man doesn't speak a word of English, so naturally we would communicate fully in Japanese. I must say, studying Japanese with a Japanese boyfriend is a lot more fun and easier to do. Also, I love him very much :)
Most of Japanese don't communicate
@Mariajbh2 then they must learn to communicate first. They must be willing to improve themselves. What we can do is to offer our help, but it is for them to accept it. Of course, a lot also depends on the mental constitution of your partner, which is formed by the relationship with their parents and social environment. Since that is a more complex topic, only a good therapist might be able to untangle it. A lot can be done for a mutually respectful treatment. I wish you all the best 🫂
you had me at mushroom and shiba inu ..
Honestly even if we're perhaps more direct over here in North America and in the West in general, communication is a skill and some people never mature and learn to do it effectively. Men bottling up emotions and being passive in a relationship happens a lot here too as a result of our culture and upbringing. Women can experience the same issues. It's definitely a skill and one that both partners have to learn, hopefully sooner rather than later.
That was very interesting, it's always great sharing personal experiences!
The italian girl was describing him and he felt every word he cut the interview short😂
I saw that too it was hilarious
I am a Japanese man, and to begin with, there are not many Japanese who can speak English or other foreign languages, so it is difficult for me to have the courage to communicate at that point. Another reason is that Japanese people are basically not very open to romance.
And there are Nanpa men in Japan. They are like one particular hobby, and there are a few special men in Japan who specialize in doing so on a daily basis. Be careful.
@@patatedesbois4748 Yes, although there are not many, you should be careful because there are some Nanpa men who try to talk to foreign women.
@@patatedesbois4748 Pfffft, you have those men all over the world. They get more noticed in Japan because they are so different from the other guys.
I hope that more Japanese men will have the courage to speak to foreigners!! 💪😤🇯🇵
@@patatedesbois4748 not a bad hobby. Is it?
@@realstage1925 Why? Should Japanese not share a bed with foreigners?
great video as always, thanks for the perspective Takashii and guests!
Never change Japan. It's what makes you special.
First time I’ve run into this channel and I really enjoyed it, I’ve always wanted to go to Japan. I’ve wanted travel everywhere, I love learning about other cultures and traditions. This channels really great w the questions he asks, especially as a female, Japan seems safer for solo foreign females compared to S Korea from videos I’ve watch. Glad to know that
It's very interesting to see a cheating culture that allows seeing prostitutes but also are quick to say I love you and also don't/can't express what they actually feel. They seem quite related.
Men cheating and being abusive towards women isn't "culture"
From what I've gathered through these sorts of interviews many Japanese view the relationship more in terms of emotions rather than as a physical thing... So they might think "cheating" is fine as long as there are no feelings involved, hence why going to a soapland and getting a handjob from a random girl you don't know might not be viewed as cheating.
In the west on the other hand we tend to put more weight on the physical aspects of a relationship as well (Not saying we don't put importance on the emotional, but the physical probably holds about equal importance for many). So kissing, touching, or anything sexual is basically seen as a part of the relationship and something that should be reserved for your loved one.
Although I will say that we can also be super weird about cheating maybe in leaning pretty far the opposite way, where we might consider completely harmless things to be cheating... Like the American girl in the video, she listed "talking to other girls" and "liking someone's posts" as something she'd consider cheating. From my short time visiting Japan and the people I met, having friends of the opposite sex seems to be much more normal. Meanwhile in the US and other parts of the western world a ton of people would consider that to be a huge red flag...
@Kriss_941 No, they are a very narcissistic, and misogynistic and patriarchal society. And women are not allowed to do what men do. You cannot separate the mind from the body and men do not allow women to do that. They have any posible defense
Edit: I forgot to type don't* my bad!
I personally don't* think that talking to the opposite sex or liking other people's pictures is cheating... However, it depends on what they're talking about and what kind of picture my boyfriend likes, especially if it's tons of them! Like if they start flirting together, yikes. Like sure, you can like pretty women's photos, but if they're all thirst traps or sexy photos of them wearing lingerie or skimpy outfits... Ishhh... Idk, I wouldn't be comfortable with fhat to be honest. Thinking from my boyfriend's point of view, I wouldn't be comfortable with my girlfriend (me) doing that either (i.e., flirting with other men or liking tons of men's thirst traps or sexy photos). 😅
@Marie-MichelleFortier You should be a troll, no one thinks that talking to the opposite sex is cheating and less a Westerner
My ex Japanese boyfriend thinks my direct communication is aggressive just because I question stuff about him. Like how he blindly believes stuff just because it's mainstream but skeptical of everything that is not mainstream. Wheird. But he's from Kanto. He can be pretty passive aggressive which worked for him in Portland, OR. 😅
Yes it looks like they just listen to the propaganda and don't bother at all to make their own researches...probably too busy to survive in a very pressed society...
It's actually a very American way of thinking....cos they will routinely refuse to ever read or listen to any band unless they've seen said author or band on network TV. Otherwise how could it be any good??.
@@Kevin-zz9nc and so you believe at 100% the mainstream media ?
i can see why hes an ex, also im curious what questions are we talking about? i doubt were talking about random questions here.
@@dendrienprobably vaccines lol
Only dating for novelty of westerner is common.
Unfortunate because the goth men here are hella hot.
Yep
The girl married to a Japanese guy: she talks and acts like all her self-confidence is gone. Should she not run away very fast and saves herself before her true self disappears?
The girl from DRC, her dress is GORGEOUS. Literally wearing that princess vibe hard.
Great interviews! Very helpful for who wants to travel. Arigatou gozaimasu!!!
I used to work in shibuya, in a office jimusho as engineer. And yup I remember having seen young men achi kochi looking at girls when walking and stopping them for talking. Just now I understand what was that hehe. In my experience, I was very inlove with a Japanese guy, but he kind of made public that he wanted a partner with whom he could keep secrets from and that consider whatever he said as true without making problems… I was very inlove but I was not willing. Yup, the cheating thing is a serious matter there.
TAKASHii with a new lineup of influencers. You should interview more real normal girls.
みんな育った文化圏の恋愛が正義と思うのは自然なこと、日本人は日本人だから日本人的な恋愛するよね。
日本語は短い文でも情報量が多いからコミュニケーション不足ってのは少し違う気がするなぁ
欧米文化圏だとよく気分とか何を考えてるかを質問するけど、日本人的感覚だとうっとおしく感じるよね、特に恋愛初期段階だと。
とにかく皆さんに良いパートナーができることを心から祈ります！
皮肉じゃないよ！
こういう動画を見るとやっぱ日本人は日本人同士で付き合ったほうがいいんだろうなって思う
特に欧米人とは文化と言葉の違いから互いにストレスばかり感じそう
実際国際結婚も半分以上が離婚してるらしいし
It must be very suffocating living a life devoid of feelings or constantly trying to hide your feelings. No wonder there's no love. Sounds like a very sad way of living...
@@amensister2219
Because Japanese people can understand each other's feelings without words.
Japanese people are not ADHD like Westerners who need to explain everything to understand.
@@amensister2219
Because Japanese people can understand each other's feelings without words.
Japanese people are not ADHD-ish Westerners who need to explain everything to understand.
@@amensister2219 To me it seems like people largely lie about their their feelings or don't even understand their own feelings, when they're not not misinterpreting or poorly communicating their feelings, so it doesn't make any difference to me if they express their feelings, because I know just about as much either way. I mean, women who are effusive with their emotions, or forthcoming, in my experience, are also the least settled, and are more likely to have their feelings blow away with the wind anyway.
That's Australian girl. Absolutely love her. Australians have so much spirit. And i have a few online Australian friends. That are some of my best friends 🙏♥️
Do the foreign men next!! Please and love the videos
Amazing Takashi found like 7 foreign women in Japan! It's foreign men outnumber women by like 30 to 1 in Japan so that's very impressive.
With sexism in Japan so strong it doesn't make sense for women to go to Japan. For some men of course, they prefer more sexist countries because they (hope to) benefit from it.
I think you are doing a great job with your channel. Really insightful ❤
As an American, I just can't understand how one could not express their feelings. How is that? How does one go about not expressing sadness, anger, happiness, joy, thankfulness, etc? I would never want to be around someone that leaves me wondering and guessing how they feel. That's just so creepy and stressful.
This is so great!!!
Shiba inu walking itself at 1:06
It looks so weird 😂
There’s a guy in the back it seems.
You can see it again at 6:00
@@altercaze looks like the inu is busy
@@altercazetaking a shit lol
As the owner of Shiba, it seems on brand.
It is true that a lot of Japanese guys ask for English lessons, but they have no intention of actually learning English.They just want to date you or want a foreigner girlfriend. And ghosting is definitely very common. I have some really bad ghosting experiences in Japan.
Would be great to have a video about feminism in Japan. It feels like there is a bigger problem with matchos.
I'm really doubtful western people wait a couple of months before start dating. I think we jump into both dating and hook ups very fast nowadays, the only difference I see to Japanese culture is the official confession or question, whereas here there are not such rules or patterns, although I'm from eastern europe
I'm from Spain and I started dating my partner after 2 months of knowing each other. I guess it depends of the person.
It varies from person to person.
It’s very funny that my husband and I are both American and we have had a very similar relationship experience 😅 my husband asked me to be his girlfriend on our third date/time hanging out. He doesn’t really speak his feelings, but it shows in his actions. It could be that we’re very “old souls” or traditional. I’m currently learning how to speak Japanese because it’s been a goal for us to have our late honeymoon in Japan ❤️
Yeah. I like this way and I can understand it. Why waste time, when you know, you know.
It was interesting to see your reactions, Takashii. :D Sometimes you were so surprised and sometimes also very shy.
There was an interesting look-Takashii's eye and slight smile- while talking to the Russian woman. She only appeared at the beginning.
He also looked very guilty.
@@Itsallillusional Yes- that is it- a guilty look!
Hey Takashii. I always look forward to your videos. Keep it up! 💯❤️🤗😃
Hm, I'm Irish and dating culture is somewhere inbetween the japanese style and what is described here as "western" (I hate that word lol, it normally just means American/British). You wouldn't go on dates with someone for months here without that being seen as a relationship or clarifying how serious or not serious the relationship is, but its not formal like the japanese example. Irish people are culturally very casual in how we interact with eachother (not just dating) as casualness = politeness, generally here. Being overly formal can come across as rude, like you see yourself as above someone else, or someone above you. I noticed in many other european countries (not all) it's the opposite. The UK is completely the opposite culturally in that regard to Ireland. Cheating is 100% the end of a relationship here obviously. How traditionally you approach the relationship is entirely dependant on that individual person, there isnt an expectation either way really. Many dudes will want to pay for a date as a way of showing off, but its not a huge expectation. Just depends on you. Hook ups are normal I'd say, but you can avoid that scene by how you approach dating. I definitely feel a bit of expectation to sleep with someone after a few dates, but of course you dont have to, but you'll likely discuss it and how seriously you want to take the relationship after maybe 3/4/5 dates, maybe more, just depends on the people involved. Drinking culture is very big here too, going to a restaurant would come across as quite serious and not casual here, going to the pub for a drink or to a coffee shop would be a very common date here, especially for the first 1 or 2. The norms are quite different across Europe I think. Ive heard both Italy and France are a lot more lax about dating multiple people or cheating, but I dont have any experience about that.
I'm from MN myself and I just instantly knew 1:05 was before she even said it😂
oh yeah she was real minnesota, eh
@iamdmc nah it was just her face lmaooooo and mfer, we're not a bunch of hosers that say "eh" we say "yeah. Oh yeah you betcha" you're literally watching a cultural analysis video and can't even get that right? Geek.
She's pretty cute. Kind of strange she couldn't find a local guy. But maybe she likes to be different.
@@mediocreman2 She has pleasing, striking features, really beautiful eyes. Obviously she could have her pick of men, on the whole. But her clear insecurity regarding loyalty tells the story. I think a western white woman would perceive that east Asian men would be easier to lock down. Some others probably like the idea of being feitishized. She actually bears a noticeable resemblance to the "adult" star Melody Marks, an American who is popular in Japan, who btw has a long, really interesting interview you can find on YT regarding doing porn in Japan. The Minnesota girls is, from what I've seen, what Japanse guys like in Western women. Not surprised she's married.
@@NextExiterit is not considered insecurity in the US for a woman to expect her partner to be exclusive to them. It is considered being respectful to your partnership. Most US women expect equal partnership with their boyfriend/husband. There are, of course, all types of relationships in the US, but many couples consider showing any romantic or physical attraction to someone other than your partner is unacceptable. I would say especially a physical relationship with someone other than your partner is a dealbreaker most of the time in the US for both partners, men and women.
Excellent video Takashii ! So very interesting.
4:33 She is gorgeous and the fact that she know how important honest communication is for a successful relationship shows she's smart too. I can't believe she's single...WOW!
YEAHHH!!! Minnesota represent!!!!!!
Yay!! That was me lol go Minnesota
9:15 very true. Especially they offen ghost you if you're a foreigner or a japanese person who never lived in japan before.
I found Japanese men to be either very shy or very direct. No in between. I had guys walk up to me on the street within a second of seeing me and saying "you are beautiful, do you want to get coffee?" But also guys sneaking around me for hours while running errands in the city before they very shyly asked me out. I was married for all the years living in Japan (still am) so always politely declined...
I was in the US Navy in the late 90s and stayed in japan for some time, then came back and stayed in Tokyo for 6 months and i was ASTOUNDED by how pervasive cheating was and how little they all cared about it. I did not expect that, for some reason. I must say that is one area where i much prefer my home culture's viewpoint.
Loved what the last girl said at the end. I've also met some forward and extroverted Japanese guys, and passive quiet Western guys. Sometimes it's nothing to do with their nationality or even personality. It's just what they feel about you hahah
This is quite interesting and illuminating, thank you!
Great Interview.
Do people not wear wedding rings in Japan? I noticed the American woman didn't have a ring on. Might be personal choice but I just wondered if it was a thing not to wear them in Japan.
Most likely because she did say there was issues with cheating on his part. She seemed VERY uncomfortable about the topic. She probably doesn’t wear it because of that..
I always wear my wedding ring every time I go outside the house in Tokyo except during my work because it’s not allowed.
I'm married and don't wear a ring. It's not obligatory to wear it. In my case, I don't wear any jewelry and rings feel very uncomfortable. I only wear it on special occasions.
Men, especially, don’t. Also, because of work. My over 75y MIL was like, oh, I lost my wedding ring at some point when the kids were small, can’t remember when and how.
Right!! I noticed this as well. And do they wear it on their right or left hand?? I know some who wear it as a necklace because it's bothersome. Kinda strange.
I've not dated japanese people but some japanese friend/people definitivly ghosted me. If you add the fact that japanese people lie a lot and don't express their true intention easely, it's really make you paranoid when you interact with japanese people who you wanted to connect.
The honne/tatemae is a big burden and it's really hard to deal with that with friend or close to be friends
It's not only like being introverted. I'm an introvert but i'm 100% honest.
Thank you for your video I really enjoyed it. It was very positive responses. I like your vibe
I agree that communication was a little bit of a problem in my experience. Other than that, I had great experiences and lived in Tokyo for 6 years. My fiance was from shikoku and he was a really great person. My only complaint is that I would have liked more communication as well as understanding, and maybe that is one reason that led to me feeling off in our relationship and led to our breakup. I was also young and immature. Also, I can converse in japanese and he does speak English.
But I would communicate the hell out of our relationship girl. But it doesn't matter. You'll still make bad choices in relationships instead.
From my dating experience in Tokyo the bumble experience was terrible lol but the girls I went on a date with that I met in real life were some of the most fun and genuine connections aside from the language barrier and us trying really hard to communicate 😂 it was a fun time
Nice interviews mate!
The colombianas are so intelligent about relationships!
Overall a lot of insight from these interviews, really entertaining. 😄
speaking of them do you have any idea on why she was talking about language barrier at 13:28? i was very curious to see what was her opinion on the cheating culture in japan
Yeah.... Communication is difficult with Japanese guys. Definitely, when you have have something serious to talk about, or when you want to talk about your relationship, or some problems in your relationship, which btw. can be fixed, and maybe not even a big deal, but the moment you mention that maybe you could talk about this and that, and make it better for the sake of the relationship, a lot of my ex-boyfriends couldn't handle it. And we literally broke up, because they believed, that if there is any problem at all with our relationship, we should break up. It is the end of the world for them. And without communication or even trying to fix it, they just leave or ghost you, or break up with you.....
3:35 she said Suuuper Like Franky. I love it haha
Another thing to add, there might be a lot more guys open to dating foreigners than guys who are interested in marrying one.
1:40 Takashi when she says it was interesting:
I would love to live in Japan, but I’m too old for a working visa so I stay in Japan every year for 2mths. Once i told a group of my Japanese friends (all woman) I need to find a Japanese husband so I can live here. They all said "NO, Japanese men are hard work, they expect wife to cook, clean & wait on them all the time." 😊
I didn’t show my face on tinder too when I visited Taiwan a few years ago 😭 I used a Sanrio character lmao. I don’t want to be judged too, but it’s because I want to someone to like me for my personality and not looks. And didn’t want a bunch of people contacting me just for being a foreigner.
It worked though!! I’m married to a nice Taiwanese guy I met on Tinder 😊
The girl at the end >
11:19 Takashii was not ready to handle that topic 🤣
Japanese people are quite open about their feelings, it just might take a little more time with some people, and the communication style is different. It's probably difficult to fully understand their feelings too if you don't fully understand the culture and catch the visual cues, or if you don't have a good level of Japanese to be able to communicate about such matters Also, if your culture is quite different, or your mannerisms are very foreign or seem quite aggressive, that might make people less open or apprehensive, so that may require more time for some Japanese people to get used to. However, if you live in Japan a while, assimilate into the culture and how people communicate, and get good at everyday Japanese, then you'll likely find people will open up about their feelings quite quickly and are quite friendly, especially out in social events, bars etc.
Not at all. You are whitening their abusive society and men
@@Mariajbh2 Men will be men. They are naturally aggressive creatures. However, Japanese men are quite gentle.
@katsup_07 Only abusers are aggressive, people who support this behavior are abusive too. And you contradict yourself, because Japanese men are ALSO MEN
@@Mariajbh2
I'm sorry. I was teasing. Your comment looked like a troll comment, since it just states negative information and has no justification nor reasoning for it. I do not support people being aggressive nor abusive towards others, neither physically nor verbally.
Japanese men are men, but they are quite gentle compared to men in other countries. Japan does not generally have an abusive society of men. They are very kind and considerate to one another. However, there are a small number of men who are abusive, just like other countries. It's unfortunate and we should all try to help reduce it.
@katsup_07 Typical from trolls projecting on others. You are a troll dedicated to exalting and justifying the abusive and backward behavior of Japanese men. And you are offended by me telling the truth about them and you attack the truth by saying it is "negative" 😂, ridiculous. The truth is the truth, and if you don't tolerate it you are not only a narcissist, you also show that you are a troll whose only function is to try to say "good things" about Japan. In reality, I feel sorry for people who work in the trolling industry. It's a sad job
3:07 it is sadly true that a lot of western media are TERRIBLE at making things official. Not say all men, I have had men actually ask if I wanted to be their girlfriend, but I’ve also had a few men who haven’t said anything so I’d be wondering in my head what was going on or if they actually really liked me and I’d have to be the one to upfront ask if they considered us a couple.
Note to men: Don’t assume that a girl thinks you guys are going out. It’s considerate and sweet when a guy asks a girl if she wants to be their girlfriend… just saying. Hopefully this reaches some men, so they can learn how to treat women!!!!
How about you Takashii?!? Have you dated a foreigner?!? This is a question based on pure curiosity only! Or maybe you can add this when you do a Q&A video! 😉Hehehe 😏
They do the same quick "in love" responses online as well. And they always want to be with you. Personal time within the relationship doesn't exist.
I'm also from a country where we say I love you rather quickly from a foreigner perspective. But we don't literally mean that we totally "love you from the bottom of the heart, less go have babies" or something. It's just awkward language for "let's begin the steps for forming an exclusive relationship".
@samuraijosh1595 oh wow that is wild!! Because that lowers the value of the word. I just say "friends with benefits" and keep it moving. Hahahaha I am being honest with them. "Love" in essence should have heavy value. It means I am willing to take your crazy and mine together...I ain't ready for that after like "3rd date".
@@namastewoke5197 no it's just a misuse of the original English slang for dating that's adopted in their language. It doesn't lower the value of a date to "3rd" rate because it's just using the wrong diction to express an idea. That's about it. I'm surprised Takashi didn't push back on this to explain it.
My husband and I said it very quickly as well, about a month into our relationship. I think it just depends on the people as well as how deeply you feel the connection. I knew I loved my husband after our first date BUT I didn’t dare say it lol 😂
It's interesting how in Colombia they are very extroverted but Ecuador is a neighbor country and they are also reserved. Not as shy as Japanese but reserved or conservative, yes.
Foreign Guys On Red Flag Experience In Japan anyone?
I figured some interviews from foreign men's experiences with Japanese women would be good too.
Some people on other videos have mentioned it "why are you leaving Japan" video. One guy said it feels more like an appointment rather than a date
@@peacauve Oh okay, I'll have to check that one out. Thanks!
Also check out his video "do Japanese girls cheat", it'll give you some good insight
@@peacauve Thanks!
Yeah they want to get married so they can quit their jobs, and have the coveted “kids with sexless marriage” they all have as their target.
Marriage is a financial arrangement here in Japan.
So knowing the manipulation and long term con that they play would serve as good red flags 🚩
Excellent video!
Its crazy how all these people are from dif places in the world and live in japan but all speak pretty good english!
One thing I took away from this video: the word interesting can have a lot of meanings, especially when it comes to relationship.
Congo girl speaking English with French accent is so kawaii~ 🧡