Thank you so much for being so open and honest in all of your videos. My girlfriend has been in the hospital this past week and the doctors are near positive it is lymphoma. She had a biopsy yesterday, so now we are waiting on the official diagnosis. I've been sick to my stomach with anxiety and worry, but watching your videos really has calmed my fears. Your journey is so inspirational. Best of luck to you. Cheers!
I'm sorry to hear about your girlfriend. It warms my heart to know my videos have calmed your fears. Thank you for commenting and I wish you and your girlfriend all the best. Please keep me updated with her progress. Take care.
Very accurate! I finished chemo treatments almost 3 years ago. The first year after chemo seemed to be the easiest mentally. But like you I've noticed as time goes on and the longer i go in between checkups, the harder I stress and the more anxiety I get. It almost feels like your whole brain gets rewired afterwards. Now I stress alot about every little health concern that pops up, even though they are nothing serious. One thing I have noticed that it helps to exercise as much as possible! Wear your brain out so it cant keep stressing! 😎 And try not to eat shity foods and alcohol as much as you can.
I'm 3 years past chemo for HL now, but I am dealing with anxiety as well. It was out of control about a year and a half ago. I talked it over with my doctor, and now I do short but intense workouts to help control the emotional roller coaster. It's rough to work out frequently with the constant post-chemo fatigue, but if I don't work out my anxiety gets out of control. I hope you find a good way to manage it. Sometimes I get discouraged because I remember what I was like before cancer and chemo and I miss the "me" I remember, but I'm working on forging ahead.
Your the one person videos that I watched during my cancer treatment. Last October I am two years cancer free. And I completely understand the anxiety you feel. I feel fine until I have to go in for a checkup then I get worried cause you never know. And its like they say you never truly beat cancer, you just have to be grateful for each year that you reach without it coming back. Cause just the thought of having to go thru chemo scares me, I wonder if I could even deal with going thru it again. And then the possible problems chemo could have caused that hasnt shown up yet. The two things I've notice since after chemo is if i kneel down when I get up I always feel dissy or light headed for a min. I also will get like a charlie horse in my feet when I bend my toes back. Have you had any issue with this. Its weird how after all this time when I go in for checkups the smell of the place still make me gag. Thank you again for you videos. You look really good. I wish you the best and hope you continue to strive.
Hey Mikey! It's so nice to get an update on how you've been doing. I'm so glad to hear you're two years cancer free. Ugh the anxiety I get around check ups is excruciating. I really struggle with it and I hate how it bleeds into other areas of my life. The idea of going through chemo again terrifies me. Because I know I'd do it if the doctors thought it was a good idea, but how much more damage would it wrought on my body? I also get that! I am more lightheaded and if I get up too quickly I get dizzy. I feel woozy and strange. I didn't know why that was happening to me... maybe chemo is the culprit? I had to search up what a 'charlie horse' meant. Hahha. Yes I get those severe muscle spasms and cramps in my feet if I put pressure on my feet in particular ways. I've learned not to sit on my feet, not to tense my feet/toes for extended periods, not to flex my feet too much, because if I do these things then I get severe painful spasms that can last minutes. Massaging the muscles helps but it helps more to avoid the spasms to start with. Thanks, Mikey. I wish you the best in your recovery. I hope you're no longer in survival mode and are now thriving. Take care.
13:21 Great point here about negativity and wanting to think of more positive thoughts. This is one of the things our app Tappily helps people accomplish! Love this video though. Mental health is important and we are also trying to talk about them in our app and videos! Definitely subscribing, looking forward to more about this!
Thank you for posting this video. I'm going through the exact same thing. 2 days ago I went to the radiation on cologist for my 2 year anniversary of finishing radiation and was told everything looks good where I was radiated but when he did an oral exam he found 2 spots on the opposite side of my mouth. Rhe anxiety that I had immediately increased to the point that I almost could not breathe. He told me to watch it. I cant manipulate my tongue to see it. I immediately call my ENT doctor to have a look at it. Luckily he relieved my fears but as you said I live with the anxiety of having cancer every day. Every little lump or bump scares me. It has caused me to become more introverted and less social. People always want to talk about it. I dont. And they dont understand. I have chemo brain as well which is very aggravating as I cant organize my thoughts or remember thkngs the way I used to. So I truly understand what you're saying and I hope more people can understand what people with cancer vo through It's not enough that you have the cancer and then people say well you're in remission or you're cancer free that should be good, but they don't understand the side effects of the chemo and/or the radiation and how long lasting they are. I'm tired all the time and have been to Dr. after doctor trying to figure out why. They have no answers. Battling cancer is one thing. Becoming cancer free is a miracle. Living with the side effects and anxiety is awful.
Thanks for commenting, Larry. Ugh I get it. I remember when my oncologist was feeling my neck and told me "I can feel your lymphnodes beneath your ears but they're really small. You don't feel them in a lot of people but since you're thin I can. It's probably nothing but watch them in case." My stomach dropped and I thought 'What???? Watch them???' In a few words she brought so much anxiety into my life. I have told myself to only check them once a month or once every two months because it is so anxiety inducing. I naively thought that once I was in remission I'd be "done" with this cancer stuff but I was wrong. Sorry to hear it's been hard for you too. Keep me updated with your recovery Larry. I hope you continue to improve.
Not sure if you mentioned this but just wondering - do you think the anxiety is partly caused by whatever physical damage chemo has done to your brain? I noticed during treatment there were a few days every fortnight where I would just feel super anxious about stuff for no real reason, put it down to the chemo messing with my brain. Only just finished so can't comment on lasting effects.
I'm not sure but I think it could have. I worry about things I never worried about before. My anxiety levels have risen across the board (minor anxieties are moderate anxieties, and moderate anxieties are now big anxieties). I think either the chemotherapy physically changed my brain or the significant stress of cancer (i.e., trauma) has made my brain more sensitive and reactive to stress. The stress pathways in my brain are fresh and well-worn because of trauma. My brain is now on high alert to avoid future trauma and "keep me safe". But ironically, by being too alert and too anxious, I am causing unnecessary pain and psychological damage to myself. Thanks for commenting, Tim. Congratulations on finishing chemo! Here's to recovery!
Yeah it's interesting to think about, I'll be keen to see if there's any papers on it. Probably it's a bit of both, but for me at least I'm leaning towards mostly physical changes because I've had almost zero stress/trauma over the cancer so can't attribute it to that. Anyway I hope things improve with time or you figure out better ways to deal with it. And thanks, very happy to be done!
Let me know if you come across any papers. That's interesting that you say that. At the time I didn't think the acute phase of cancer was traumatic for me either. But I have realised that I'm great at coping in the middle of stressful situations. I can really shut down that reactive part of my brain and 'get shit done'. Doctors would comment on my calm resolve and acceptance of the situation. People around me kept telling me how well I was coping with everything. Despite these things, with time I have been able to acknowledge that even though I coped well, cancer was a traumatic experience and aspects of cancer recovery have been traumatic. Maybe they weren't traumatic the way other people have experienced deep, long lasting trauma, but still traumatic. At the time, I acknowledged the physical trauma to my body (severe pain, extreme changes, requirement of significant healing) but not the psychological trauma. I feel like the experience rewired aspects of my brain for survival (and thus anxiety). I don't say this to try and influence you to view your cancer experience as traumatic/stressful. These are just thoughts I had reflecting on my own use of the word trauma and what it means for cancer survivors in response to your comment.
Very glad to see you got through your cancer. You are obviously worried that it might come back though. my question is ... what are you doing YOURSELF in the meantime to PREVENT it from coming back in the future? Just wondering! 😁
Your insight is beautiful and very empathic. Thank you for a great video. Have you ever looked into your natal chart? Which is your Full name Birth date and time,as well as place 💕 Its a very great timeline 🧘🏾♀️ so you can view " those girls"
Thank you so much for being so open and honest in all of your videos. My girlfriend has been in the hospital this past week and the doctors are near positive it is lymphoma. She had a biopsy yesterday, so now we are waiting on the official diagnosis. I've been sick to my stomach with anxiety and worry, but watching your videos really has calmed my fears. Your journey is so inspirational. Best of luck to you.
Cheers!
I'm sorry to hear about your girlfriend. It warms my heart to know my videos have calmed your fears. Thank you for commenting and I wish you and your girlfriend all the best. Please keep me updated with her progress. Take care.
I have breast cancer and I get anxiety all of the time. Bless you, thank you for sharing.
Very accurate! I finished chemo treatments almost 3 years ago. The first year after chemo seemed to be the easiest mentally. But like you I've noticed as time goes on and the longer i go in between checkups, the harder I stress and the more anxiety I get. It almost feels like your whole brain gets rewired afterwards. Now I stress alot about every little health concern that pops up, even though they are nothing serious. One thing I have noticed that it helps to exercise as much as possible! Wear your brain out so it cant keep stressing! 😎 And try not to eat shity foods and alcohol as much as you can.
Great advice, Anthony. Thanks for sharing. Chemo and cancer messes us up in all kinds of ways. Exercise helps me too!
May you find your true strength in Jesus. God be with you I'll keep you in prayer as I to am taking treatment for rectal cancer. 🙏❤️
I'm 3 years past chemo for HL now, but I am dealing with anxiety as well. It was out of control about a year and a half ago. I talked it over with my doctor, and now I do short but intense workouts to help control the emotional roller coaster. It's rough to work out frequently with the constant post-chemo fatigue, but if I don't work out my anxiety gets out of control. I hope you find a good way to manage it. Sometimes I get discouraged because I remember what I was like before cancer and chemo and I miss the "me" I remember, but I'm working on forging ahead.
Your looking so nice and healthy. God is working miracles in you. Happy New Year.
Thank you, Pam. Happy new year to you too! Take care. :)
Your the one person videos that I watched during my cancer treatment. Last October I am two years cancer free. And I completely understand the anxiety you feel. I feel fine until I have to go in for a checkup then I get worried cause you never know. And its like they say you never truly beat cancer, you just have to be grateful for each year that you reach without it coming back. Cause just the thought of having to go thru chemo scares me, I wonder if I could even deal with going thru it again. And then the possible problems chemo could have caused that hasnt shown up yet.
The two things I've notice since after chemo is if i kneel down when I get up I always feel dissy or light headed for a min. I also will get like a charlie horse in my feet when I bend my toes back. Have you had any issue with this. Its weird how after all this time when I go in for checkups the smell of the place still make me gag.
Thank you again for you videos. You look really good. I wish you the best and hope you continue to strive.
Hey Mikey! It's so nice to get an update on how you've been doing. I'm so glad to hear you're two years cancer free. Ugh the anxiety I get around check ups is excruciating. I really struggle with it and I hate how it bleeds into other areas of my life. The idea of going through chemo again terrifies me. Because I know I'd do it if the doctors thought it was a good idea, but how much more damage would it wrought on my body?
I also get that! I am more lightheaded and if I get up too quickly I get dizzy. I feel woozy and strange. I didn't know why that was happening to me... maybe chemo is the culprit? I had to search up what a 'charlie horse' meant. Hahha. Yes I get those severe muscle spasms and cramps in my feet if I put pressure on my feet in particular ways. I've learned not to sit on my feet, not to tense my feet/toes for extended periods, not to flex my feet too much, because if I do these things then I get severe painful spasms that can last minutes. Massaging the muscles helps but it helps more to avoid the spasms to start with.
Thanks, Mikey. I wish you the best in your recovery. I hope you're no longer in survival mode and are now thriving. Take care.
U inspire me.. Tanku
13:21 Great point here about negativity and wanting to think of more positive thoughts. This is one of the things our app Tappily helps people accomplish! Love this video though. Mental health is important and we are also trying to talk about them in our app and videos! Definitely subscribing, looking forward to more about this!
So happy you’re healthier, I remember your first chemo updates when you uploaded them. Congrats on your health and focusing on yourself!
Thanks, Gretty!
Thank you for posting this video. I'm going through the exact same thing. 2 days ago I went to the radiation on cologist for my 2 year anniversary of finishing radiation and was told everything looks good where I was radiated but when he did an oral exam he found 2 spots on the opposite side of my mouth. Rhe anxiety that I had immediately increased to the point that I almost could not breathe. He told me to watch it. I cant manipulate my tongue to see it. I immediately call my ENT doctor to have a look at it. Luckily he relieved my fears but as you said I live with the anxiety of having cancer every day. Every little lump or bump scares me. It has caused me to become more introverted and less social. People always want to talk about it. I dont. And they dont understand. I have chemo brain as well which is very aggravating as I cant organize my thoughts or remember thkngs the way I used to. So I truly understand what you're saying and I hope more people can understand what people with cancer vo through It's not enough that you have the cancer and then people say well you're in remission or you're cancer free that should be good, but they don't understand the side effects of the chemo and/or the radiation and how long lasting they are. I'm tired all the time and have been to Dr. after doctor trying to figure out why. They have no answers. Battling cancer is one thing. Becoming cancer free is a miracle. Living with the side effects and anxiety is awful.
Thanks for commenting, Larry. Ugh I get it. I remember when my oncologist was feeling my neck and told me "I can feel your lymphnodes beneath your ears but they're really small. You don't feel them in a lot of people but since you're thin I can. It's probably nothing but watch them in case." My stomach dropped and I thought 'What???? Watch them???' In a few words she brought so much anxiety into my life. I have told myself to only check them once a month or once every two months because it is so anxiety inducing. I naively thought that once I was in remission I'd be "done" with this cancer stuff but I was wrong. Sorry to hear it's been hard for you too. Keep me updated with your recovery Larry. I hope you continue to improve.
Not sure if you mentioned this but just wondering - do you think the anxiety is partly caused by whatever physical damage chemo has done to your brain? I noticed during treatment there were a few days every fortnight where I would just feel super anxious about stuff for no real reason, put it down to the chemo messing with my brain. Only just finished so can't comment on lasting effects.
I'm not sure but I think it could have. I worry about things I never worried about before. My anxiety levels have risen across the board (minor anxieties are moderate anxieties, and moderate anxieties are now big anxieties). I think either the chemotherapy physically changed my brain or the significant stress of cancer (i.e., trauma) has made my brain more sensitive and reactive to stress. The stress pathways in my brain are fresh and well-worn because of trauma.
My brain is now on high alert to avoid future trauma and "keep me safe". But ironically, by being too alert and too anxious, I am causing unnecessary pain and psychological damage to myself.
Thanks for commenting, Tim. Congratulations on finishing chemo! Here's to recovery!
Yeah it's interesting to think about, I'll be keen to see if there's any papers on it. Probably it's a bit of both, but for me at least I'm leaning towards mostly physical changes because I've had almost zero stress/trauma over the cancer so can't attribute it to that.
Anyway I hope things improve with time or you figure out better ways to deal with it. And thanks, very happy to be done!
Let me know if you come across any papers. That's interesting that you say that. At the time I didn't think the acute phase of cancer was traumatic for me either. But I have realised that I'm great at coping in the middle of stressful situations. I can really shut down that reactive part of my brain and 'get shit done'. Doctors would comment on my calm resolve and acceptance of the situation. People around me kept telling me how well I was coping with everything. Despite these things, with time I have been able to acknowledge that even though I coped well, cancer was a traumatic experience and aspects of cancer recovery have been traumatic. Maybe they weren't traumatic the way other people have experienced deep, long lasting trauma, but still traumatic. At the time, I acknowledged the physical trauma to my body (severe pain, extreme changes, requirement of significant healing) but not the psychological trauma. I feel like the experience rewired aspects of my brain for survival (and thus anxiety). I don't say this to try and influence you to view your cancer experience as traumatic/stressful. These are just thoughts I had reflecting on my own use of the word trauma and what it means for cancer survivors in response to your comment.
Very glad to see you got through your cancer. You are obviously worried that it might come back though. my question is ... what are you doing YOURSELF in the meantime to PREVENT it from coming back in the future? Just wondering! 😁
Your insight is beautiful and very empathic. Thank you for a great video. Have you ever looked into your natal chart? Which is your Full name Birth date and time,as well as place 💕 Its a very great timeline 🧘🏾♀️ so you can view " those girls"
I'll look into that natal chart. Thanks for your kind words and comment, Lifted Bodhisattva. I hope you and your family are well!
Happy New Year.
Happy new year!
Mahwee mi?
You are beautiful
Thanks for commenting, Anderson!
Half Filipino?